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The cold, sterile interior of the enemy’s ship was a stark contrast to the vibrant life of the galaxy outside. The group—Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Rex, and Padmé Amidala—sat in a reinforced cell with no visible escape route. Their captors were known to be brutal, their reputation backed by the screams echoing faintly down the corridors.
Ahsoka’s lekku twitched in agitation. “I don’t like this,” she muttered, pacing the small space. “We’ve seen what they’ve done to the others. And now they’re taking him?”
Across the cell, Obi-Wan sat cross-legged, as serene as if he were meditating in the Jedi Temple. “He’ll be fine,” he said, his voice calm and reassuring.
Rex, standing by the cell’s bars, frowned. “General Skywalker can handle himself, but I have to agree with Commander Tano. These guys don’t exactly take prisoners for tea and conversation.”
Padmé, sitting beside Obi-Wan, looked down at her clasped hands. Her worry was palpable. “He has a tendency to provoke,” she said softly. “That won’t work in his favor here.”
Ahsoka stopped pacing, her frustration bubbling over. “How can you be so calm about this, Master?” she asked, turning to Obi-Wan. “They could be torturing him right now!”
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, the hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. “Oh, they probably are. But I promise you, it won’t last long.”
Ahsoka stared at him, incredulous. “What does that even mean?!”
Obi-Wan leaned back against the wall, his tone light. “Watch and see, Ahsoka. Anakin has a... certain talent.”
---
Meanwhile, in the interrogation chamber, Anakin was shackled to a metal chair, the harsh light overhead making his shadow loom large against the wall. The enemy commander, a hulking figure with cybernetic enhancements and a voice like grinding metal, loomed over him.
“You will tell us the location of the Jedi base,” the commander growled. “Or you will suffer the consequences.”
Anakin leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Do you ever wonder why starship corridors are always so bland? I mean, a splash of color could really liven things up.”
The commander blinked, his cybernetic eye whirring as it refocused. “What?”
“I’m just saying,” Anakin continued, unperturbed, “red lights, gray walls—it’s like you’re trying to scream ‘we’re evil!’ at every passing ship. Ever thought about some pastels? Maybe a nice teal?”
The commander slammed a fist onto the table. “Enough! You will answer my questions!”
Anakin tilted his head, a smirk forming. “Right. Questions. Speaking of which, do you guys have a cafeteria here? I skipped breakfast, and torture on an empty stomach? Not great.”
The commander snarled. “You insolent—!”
“Also,” Anakin interrupted, “is there a droid maintenance bay nearby? My astromech’s been making this weird noise, like a ‘bloop-bloop-whir.’ It’s probably nothing, but you know how it is—better safe than sorry.”
---
Less than twenty minutes later, the cell door clanged open, and Anakin was unceremoniously tossed inside. He landed in a heap, rolling to a stop at Obi-Wan’s feet.
“Well,” Obi-Wan said, his voice laden with mock surprise, “they sure took their time this time.”
Anakin groaned, sitting up and brushing himself off. “Hey, I asked important questions.”
“Important, hmm?” Obi-Wan’s smile was sly. “Such as?”
“Structural integrity of the ship,” Anakin replied, his sarcasm thick. “Critical systems. And, uh... cafeteria menus.”
Padmé sighed in relief, rushing to his side to check for injuries. “Anakin, you’re impossible.”
Rex chuckled, shaking his head. “I don’t know how you do it, sir.”
Ahsoka, however, was still processing. She turned to Obi-Wan, her expression a mixture of confusion and awe. “How did you know? How could you be so sure he’d be fine?”
Obi-Wan folded his arms, his grin widening. “Ahsoka, Anakin Skywalker has a rare and singular gift: he’s the most annoying creature in the galaxy. It’s only a matter of time before even the most hardened interrogators give up on him.”
Anakin rolled his eyes. “Very funny, Obi-Wan.”
“Oh, I’m serious,” Obi-Wan said, his tone teasing. “The Council should consider making it an official Jedi tactic. It would save us no end of trouble.”
Ahsoka burst out laughing, her tension finally breaking. “You mean he talks his way out of trouble by annoying people?”
“It’s more of an art form, really,” Obi-Wan replied, his face mock-serious.
Anakin threw up his hands. “I was stalling for time, thank you very much!”
Padmé tried to hide her smile as she bandaged a scrape on his arm. “Whatever you were doing, it worked.”
The group settled into a slightly more relaxed state, their momentary levity a small but precious reprieve. Outside the cell, the ship rumbled ominously, a reminder that the danger was far from over.
And yet, for a brief moment, they found solace in the chaos that was Anakin Skywalker.