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Fuchi felt out of place in the worst way possible. No, he was out of place in the worst way possible. To begin with, his terrifying awakening, jerking back into awareness in a place he didn’t recognize right away, and then everything he did last night came rushing back to him. Shame warmed his face, or maybe that was just his body acting up. An appropriate punishment, he felt. Falling into sickness would keep him from acting selfishly, but today it meant that he curled into his blankets and struggled not to cry, instead of leaving when he should have.
When Tobi and Ryuuko woke up, it was too late to fix his mistake, and Fuchi resigned himself to keeping his head down. He blinked away the moisture from his eyes, screwed his mouth straight. Averted his eyes when Ryuuko leaned down to him.
“Are you still trying to sleep?” she asked, looking a little lost on whether to pull the covers free or leave him be, “Tobi’s cooking, so you better get up if you want some.”
Ryuuko. Shit. She didn’t know. She couldn’t know. Crying in front of Tobi now would be mortifying. Crying in front of Ryuuko would be demanding.
“N-no, I just…feel a little sick. I’ll get up.” In truth, Fuchi wanted nothing to do with whatever was being cooked. Eating was the last thing he wanted to do, but he wanted a distraction. Anything to get his body moving, so he could leave as soon as possible. So he pushed himself to his feet, allowed Ryuuko to take his hand, and perched obediently on a chair she picked out for him.
The table was surely too small for all of them to have breakfast at, wasn’t it? Fuchi frowned at his hands, wondering if it would be appropriate for him to stand instead. It wasn’t like he was going to eat, so this was a little unnecessary for him, wasn’t it?
Before he had half a mind to say this, something thunked in the kitchen, cracked, and was followed by Tobi’s whispered “Dammit.” Fuchi tilted his head towards him, and blinked at the sight.
Tobi glared down at a broken egg, one hand up to rub at eyes that blinked closed as if strings weighed them down. Another mumbled curse, and he reached for a paper to clean the mess up. He was moving slow, blinking hard, an overwrought caution occupying his movements. Watching Tobi move as if underwater, Fuchi’s heart hurt. He was sick. They were under the ocean too long and Fuchi made him sick. He should leave. He didn’t deserve this. He couldn’t-
“To-BI, you did it again!” Ryuuko suddenly piped up, huffing as Tobi laboriously picked up a single broken egg.
“Shut up. I’m trying.” came the grumbled reply, Tobi quite literally pushing himself back to a straightened position before returning to his task. As if this was…normal?
“R-Ryuuko, what’s wrong with Tobi?” Fuchi dared to ask, peering from the corners of his eyes, as if he was looking at something he shouldn’t.
“Hm?” Ryuuko looked to Tobi, back at Fuchi, back at Tobi, then startled in realization, “oh! That? He’s like this every morning. He gets better later.”
“Oh.” Fuchi’s heart didn’t stop hurting, but it was now for a different reason. He never saw this happen to Tobi, they always met after the day had already begun, while the distance of “friends” could be maintained. With the distance stripped away, the sight felt wrong. Like he was looking at a version of Tobi that wasn’t the strong and fast Tobi he knew outside, and he didn’t earn the right to see something that personal.
Then again, he had already seen something not strong from Tobi last night. Sides of Tobi he kept seeing because he kept being an intruder into his life. What was he supposed to do if he kept seeing things like this, all because he kept being selfish?
His moment of self-loathing came to an end as the morning marched on, heedless to the storm of his mind.
Tobi arrived, taking a brief pause before placing a giant bowl of rice and egg before Ryuuko. He placed a much smaller bowl of nothing but rice in front of Fuchi. Fuchi appreciated the gesture, even if just the smell settled like a rock in his stomach. Tobi knew he wasn’t even going to eat even this much, didn’t he?
“I don’t think-” he started as Tobi returned with his bowl, unable to finish as Tobi spoke over him.
“Just try and eat a little, then you can give it to me.” It sounded like he was ready for this sort of compromise, and Fuchi just nodded instead of trying to argue. It was a fair idea, he supposed. Tobi sat himself besides Fuchi, the table becoming predictably crowded, but they didn’t seem bothered.
And then…they had breakfast.
Fuchi wasn’t sure what he expected. For them to keep staring at the abrupt third person in their midst, uninvited and unwanted? For Tobi to bring up what happened last night? He was relieved, don’t get him wrong, the idea of talking about the ocean made him want to throw up what little rice he managed to choke down. He didn’t understand, though. Not just how Ryuuko and Tobi practically inhaled food that didn’t even look like it’d fit in their stomachs. Nor how Tobi ate with eyes nearly closed, as if sleepeating. No. He didn’t understand how they could just accept he was here. No questions came his way, no grand gestures of sympathy, just a bowl of rice. A bowl of rice he wasn’t even expected to finish. Even when Tobi and Ryuuko were done, in about a few minutes by Fuchi’s estimate, he didn’t feel rushed. Despite himself, his heart did feel lighter.
Fuchi sat back, and started pushing his bowl to the side, hoping it was enough to satisfy Tobi. Knowing Tobi, he was still hungry, so it wouldn’t be a problem for him to-
Thump. A new noise, unlike the thunk from the kitchen. This particular noise landed on Fuchi’s shoulder. It was Tobi. Tobi landed on Fuchi’s shoulder. He startled, but Tobi didn’t move, eyes peacefully closed like a dozing feline. No, he did not just think of Tobi like a cat, did he?
A million thoughts rushed through Fuchi’s mind, mostly surprise that tangled the thoughts in his head and embarrassment that pounded in his heart, but some coherent thoughts did emerge. Tobi was touching him. Tobi must have gotten tired sitting still and waiting for him to finish, but also, Tobi was on his shoulder. He was on his shoulder, asleep like it was the most natural thing to do, and Fuchi couldn’t move, could he? He couldn’t move because it would be rude to wake him and it wasn’t that bad and Tobi must be tired and he’d just embarrass them both and…and…Tobi wouldn’t touch him like this again, would he?
“Tobi.” Ryuuko interjected into his thoughts, palm slapping the table as she frowned at Tobi. Another slap on the wood, her voice rising, and Fuchi’s heart jumped, “To-BI!”
“I-It’s ok, Ryuuko. Let him stay.” Fuchi stammered hurriedly, shaking his head at Ryuuko.
“But the rice will get cold if you just sit there!” Ryuuko pointed to the bowl as if the very idea was an insult.
“Then you can have it, I’ll just wake Tobi when I feel like getting up.” Please don’t make him get up just yet. Fuchi bit his tongue before the words could manifest, silently begging Ryuuko to just listen to him, just this time. She looked at the rice, shrugged, and snatched the bowl. It seemed his offering was sufficient.
“You’re weird.” were her last words on the situation, and Fuchi had to agree.
In truth, his heart had jumped because he didn’t want this to end just yet. A pressure upon him, warmth radiating into his skin, soft breathing a hair from his ear. He couldn’t believe just yet all these things were Tobi. Such a happy accident wasn’t going to be given to him once more. He should enjoy it. He was already being so selfish, so it’d be ok for him to indulge just a little while longer, right? Besides, Tobi was a little cute when he was like this.
Fuchi hoped that his upcoming fever would wipe all memory of such thoughts, lest he die of shame when he next remembered this morning.