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He sings quietly to himself, sometimes he misses being alone at home…Rhonda in the wilderness no one to hear or listen to what he has on his mind, but that changed, he has his 4 amazing younger brothers, who have grown up and are amazing adults.
John Dory loved watching them dance and have fun during parties, sometimes bringing him in. It's once they remember he’s here too, never forced or asked when he wanted to be in or not.
Knowing it’s like he’s floating, like on a different island, he can’t tell them how he feels, it’s not right.. he’s supposed to look after them and show them he can be the big brother he always was and is.
Especially branch who loves showing him his many gadgets and Gary.
Touring them the rooms he built, Floyd shows him his places he’s been while touring solo, Clay will talk and talk like branch with his interests, his ideas, books, structures and how he became a licensed CPA.
Bruce tells him about his life with brandy, and their 13 kids, how he learned to run a business and handle 13 children. And being a good husband.
He walked alone to Rhonda, he brightened hearing her chips and coos noticing him coming back. “Hey girl, I hope you didn’t mind I was gone for abit”
She food licking his face and buzzing him. “Alrighty I take that you missed me”
He noticed she’s gotten muddy. Shaking his head, Jd grabbed a bucket of water and a cloth, caring it with ease like those many years of practice.
As he scrubbed he sang a simple tune, turning into a song he wrote a few years after he left his brothers..
“A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you”
This song made him remind himself he’s holding it together, now he needs to hold himself together for his brothers, it’s not him needing the coddle, as a big brother he’s doing just fine.
“Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired, unhappy
Bring down the government”
Maybe a small less than fine, like paving cracks, they are filled but still there.
“
“And no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises”
His mind just says weird stuff sometimes, but he builds himself up again like a beaver fixing a dam.
“I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide”
Breathing in just fine, nothing like breathing along with the wind being with the nature of solitude. What she doesn’t know, his brothers were listening quietly, noticing he left before the party was over, wearing a solemn face, his eyes told a story.
“And no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises”
“Silent, silent~” pouring a cup on Rhonda who shivered from the sudden cold. What he didn’t notice was 4 pairs of eyes watching him, listening.
Waiting.
“This is my final fit
My final bellyache with”
“No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises, please~”
They listen carefully, they love their older brother, he can be much, they know little of what he feels inside, his voice was so gentle, like his lullabies,
He tried to hold it together, his feeling breaking down that dam like water, his breathing breaking the speed, rising instead of steadying. Rhonda was good company but did she deserve him as her owner?
“Such a pretty house
And such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises (get me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises (get me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises, please (get me out of here”
He felt arms around him, holding him with the most gentleness he felt, his heart beating with love, maybe letting things out does, his brothers are the light of his life, maybe it’s just his head, he is loved and he loves them.
First step to accepting love from his brothers.