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"If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting,
Time after time~"
-Cindy Lauper
---
“Hey? Still there, space cadet? We're waitin' for ya!”
“Put today on it, Lee!”
“I refuse to linger above water much longer, Nardo, twin code be damned! My turtle instincts are screeching and so will I if you don't jump already!”
Leo watches his brothers splash about in the water, sparkling and blue and purer than anything they've ever seen in their city-dwelling lives. Mikey's giggles are like music as Raph gives his orange tube a shove that sends him spinning along the crystal surface. Barely visible save for his shell and tail, Raph paddles circles around an impatient but otherwise content Donnie as the softshell dips underwater briefly to satiate those 'screeching' turtle instincts before resurfacing to glare at Leo without heat.
He smiles, tired and strained as it is, heavy as the bags under his eyes, but it's the first smile after a lifetime that feels real.
“Comin'!” he calls back, still holding himself as his body trembles, scaly skin prickling with goosebumps. The sun is honey-bright and hot in the cloudless sky, beaming down on him, yet a strange chill bites him all the same, shivers running down his spine.
He blames the sleep deprivation. He hasn't had much sleep since... well. Ever, really, but after the Invasion his infamous but ever-reliable insomnia bit him firmly in the ass right alongside a host of nightmares and crippling guilt, so. Yeah. Maybe that's it.
That, and he's several feet high on a cliff facing the ocean. It do be freaking windy on these cliffs.
Get in the water. It'll be nice and warm down there, a voice in his mind that sounds so much like Raph assures him. And because it sounds like Raph, his eldest brother who wouldn't lie to him if his life depended on it, Leo believes it. It certainly looks warmer. His brothers are down there playing, smiling, happy, and waiting for him to join them.
“C'mon, Leo!” his big brother beckons, lifting his arms and spreading them wide as his snaggle-toothed grin. “Jump in the water! Raph'll catch you!”
Tears spring in Leo's eyes at that. He doesn't know why because in what reality would Raph not be there to catch him—
The reality your foolishness created that killed him when you lost the key.
—so Leo scrubs his face dry and takes two steps forward, standing at the very edge of the cliff. He keeps his eyes on his smiling Raph, feeling his beak stretch to return it as he—
“Leo, STOP!”
—freezes.
He blinks once, twice. Slowly, he turns. Five feet behind him, Raph stands with one arm outstretched, eyes wide and wild with terror Leo has only seen twice in his life.
Leo stares.
... what.
Raph's chest heaves. The grass is torn and muddy beneath him as though he'd skidded to a halt to avoid slamming into Leo with the force of a freight train and sending them both flying. Every breath hitches, his eyes dewy and red-rimmed like he's been fighting tears. He looks ready to give in as he stares back at Leo, reaching arm trembling.
“Leo,” his brother whispers his name like a prayer. “Leo, you—get away from the ledge, Leo.”
Still staring, dumbfounded, Leo blinks again. “... Raph?”
Raph's smile is fractured like glass and the laugh that shudders from his chest is more a wheeze. His knees buckle like the only thing keeping him upright is Leo, five feet in front of him, yet clearly five feet too far. “Yes, yes, it's me. It's me, Leo. It's Raph, I'm right here. You—you see me? You hear me, right?”
Slowly, Leo nods. “... yeah... but...” He glances over his shoulder. He can still hear them calling from below, splashing in the warm, crystal waters. He can still hear—
“Leo, what's takin' ya? Jump already!”
That's—that's Raph, playfully digging at him. Down there.
Arms curling to his chest, Leo turns back to the Raph(?) standing five feet away and looks him up and down. He narrows his tired eyes. “...you're... are you...?”
Leo has known Raph his whole life. From the basket cradle in Draxum's lab to his almost grave nearly a year ago. Even sleep-deprived, he could clock an imposter faster than the unlucky bastard trying to pull one over him could say, 'ask me anything I'm the real one'. But looking at this Raph now, he finds himself struggling.
There's the scar over his discoloured eye and the jagged crack in his shell, two wounds received within hours of each other and slow to heal. There's a dimple in his cheeks when he smiles. Even the split-second flash of gut-wrenching heartbreak looks real.
Only because Leo remembers the last time he saw that expression, and vowed never to be the reason Raphie wore it ever again.
And yet.
“I'm real, Leo, I swear it,” Raph says, lowering his arm just an inch. It must be sore by now. “I'm real, I'm right here. Look, I can prove it, just—step away from the ledge, yeah? I don't want you to hurt yourself, big man.”
God, even his mothering is accurate. Again, Leo is compelled to believe him—Raph wouldn't lie, not even as desperate as this one seems behind his wavering smile—and he shuffles half a step towards him.
The chill hits him in full force. Leo shudders against it, wrapping his arms tight around himself.
God, not this again. He sniffles miserably, ducking his head and fighting tears. He's never liked the cold, be it the frigid winter kind that sweeps across New York or the one that followed him out of the prison dimension. How it followed him here in this blazing heat and spotless sky, he doesn't know, but he's tired of it.
Tired of being cold. Tired of being tired. So, so tired.
Jump in the water. It's warmer down there. You'll never be cold again and your brothers are waiting.
“Leeeeooooo!” Raph hollers from below, a smile in his voice. “Hurry up, Donnie's gonna start biting and I'm his next target if you don't get your shell down here!”
Leo turns to the sound and peeks over the cliff's edge. Raph's still waiting in the water with his arms open wide. Mikey and Donnie are watching, mirrored smiles as bright as the sun's rays. “Don't be scared, big man! I know it's high, but Raph will catch you! Trust me, Leo!”
And Leo does trust him. Raph always catches him. Raph will always be there to catch him. Leo had hurled himself into hell's jaws to make sure of that.
He's spent so long-suffering through sleepless nights and debilitating guilt alone, equal parts too proud and too scared to reach out and ask for help. He knows his family would reach back and take the suffering from him if he would only ask. Maybe this is them all but telling him so; urging him to leap, give them a chance.
So why is he still here, at the edge of the cliff? Why is he still hesitating?
The water is warm. Your brothers are waiting. Let them take the suffering from you.
Shivering, Leo leans forward—
“STOP! Stop, Leo, please, please stop!”
Another vow Leo made was to never be the reason Raph cried like he did that day.
He's seen Raph cry before; with laughter at a little brother's misfortune or terrible horror movie, with sorrow after a particularly moving Jupiter Jim fanfiction and fear when their Mrs Cuddles prank went a little too far. Watching Raph quietly sob at Leo's bedside, head bent low, shoulders shaking as he held Leo's unbroken hand in both of his like he was scared he'd float away, was worse than any blow Prime had dealt that put him in that bed to begin with.
Leo had hated it then. And it almost breaks him now as he spins to face the other Raph, closer but still too far to touch. Tears run freely down Raph's face, dripping down his chin, eyes terrified and pleading and—
What the fresh hell is going on?
“Please... please don't do this, Leo,” Raph warbles. “This—w-whatever's down there, whoever's callin' you? It ain't real. They're not real. They—they wanna hurt you, Lee, they wanna hurt you real bad. Do you—tell me what you see, where are we right now?”
Reeling from the tears and that one piercing cry, Leo flounders for a moment before willing his lips to speak. “... we're... we're on a cliff,” he says. Raph looks sick for all but a second before nodding at Leo to keep going. “... it's... it's cold up here. Wind's blowin' real hard... and—and you, Mike 'n Don are in the water, down—down there.”
Leo points over his shoulder at the sparkling water. Raph flinches but doesn't move otherwise, doesn't take his eyes off Leo.
“You're all swimmin', havin' fun... you're tellin' me to jump, that you'll catch me... but you're also... up here with me?”
Leo blinks. Clarity, briefly, hits him like a bus.
Wait. Why in the everloving hell is he on a cliff in the first place? When did he get on a cliff? Why are his brothers swimming in the cleanest ocean that's never existed and why the actual shit are there two scarily convincing Raphs telling him to jump and begging him not to?!
This is a dream. Has to be. But Leo hasn't slept properly in days and he doesn't remember going to bed to try. And he's never been this cold even in his worst nightmares. This cold is bone-deep and real.
Swallowing hard, Leo faces what he prays is his big brother. “I... make it make sense Raphie, 'cos I'm really stupid right now. What's going on?”
The way Raph scrambles to answer like he's been holding it in forever would be hilarious in literally any other situation. Right now though Leo is clinging to sanity by its ratty fringes and praying he doesn't fall. Standing by the edge of an actual cliff(?) does nothing to ease said fear of falling, but he can't get his feet to move.
“There was a yokai,” Raph babbles, gesturing wildly as he speaks (and of course there was a yokai, Leo thinks hysterically), “and he hit you with a spell, but it didn't take right away, it waited 'till you went to bed and then you left and—and thank god for Donnie 'cos he still has that tracker thingy on you—don't ask where it is, I don't know and I'm perfectly okay with that—and I was closest so I followed the signal here.”
He finally takes a breath. He raises both hands placatingly. His voice is calmer, measured and soothing. “We're... not on a cliff, Leo. There's no ocean, no one's callin' you to jump in the water. It's just you and me. On the edge of a very, very tall building.”
Leo's eyes widen.
“Aren't you cold up there, Leo?!” Mikey's voice calls from the sea. “The water's warm down here! Hurry up before you freeze your buns off, bro!”
Get in the water.
Leo shakes his head. He stares at Raph. The cold is unbearable. His head feels foggy. “... we're... huh?”
Raph swallows and takes one careful step forward. Leo doesn't flinch away this time. “We're on the roof of Metro Tower, buddy. You—you left your swords in your room and walked all the way here in nothin' but your gear and that hoodie you stole from me years ago. It's the middle of winter and we're way high up. That's why you're cold.”
It's only now that Leo notices that he is indeed wearing an oversized pink hoodie. He looks down at himself; the floppy sleeves are rolled halfway up his forearms, the fabric, worn to perfect softness, ending just above his knees like a dress.
He... left home in this. And it's winter...?
“C'mon, Nardo! Bet you're suffering up there!”
Jump in the water. Go where it's warm and nothing can hurt you.
Leo grits his chattering teeth. His ears are ringing. He wants to be warm, he's sick of the cold. But—
Trembling hands reach up to clutch his throbbing head, eyes screwed shut. “M-M-Metro... T-Tower...?” Leo grunts. “A s-spell...?”
Raph releases a shaking breath. “That's right, buddy. You're under a bad spell. But it's okay. You're okay.”
Leo opens his eyes. Raph's cheeks are still wet with tears but his smile remains as he slowly opens his arms. He takes another step. “Raphie's here. And he's gonna get you down from here the safe way. Then we'll go home, get you nice and warm and figure out how to break this spell together.”
“H-Home? W-Warm?”
The idea of home and warmth? His family—his real brothers and dad, piling together in the atrium like they used to during winter when they were little? That sounds so good right now. So good that he lets go of the tears he's been holding back since he got here. Wherever 'here' is.
“Yeah, Leo. Home.” Raph puts one hand out. “Let's go home.”
Sniffling, shivering and more than a little scared—Raph wouldn't lie, and really this whole cliff thing should've been waving the biggest red flags to ever red flag, but alas, Leo is tired and stupid—Leo unclasps one arm and roughly scrubs his face. “... 'kay. Yeah,” he says. “I... I wanna go home. 'm really tired, Raphie.”
Raph's smile is soft and endeared and hopelessly loving, everything Leo needs to confirm that yes, this is his Raph, his big brother. “I bet. When we get home, you can crash in my bed. Got all the biggest, softest blankets this side of the abandoned NYC subway station neighbourhood. You sleep as long as you want. When you wake up, I'll be right there. Promise.”
Broken and wobbly, Leo smiles back. He reaches out.
And then—“Leoooooo.”
Leo can't move.
That's Raph's voice. Still warm and playful. But melodic, slightly impatient. Distorted. Leo's brain throbs.
“What's taking so long, big man? Raph's been waaaaaiting!”
Jump in the water.
“You must be soooo tired, little brother. Cold, too. I can see you shivering from down here.”
Get in the water. You'll be warm.
(...no.)
“You've been suffering for sooooooo looooong! Jump in the water already! Raph will catch you!”
Jump.
(No.)
“Leo, Leo you gotta fight! Look at me, look at me little brother, I'm real, I'm right here and I'm real, don't let them—!”
“I would take the suffering from you.”
That's not Raph anymore. It's a darker, sinister thing laced with some twisted note of sympathy all while demanding Leo to—
(No. stop, stop it you're not—you're not real, you're not my Raph—!)
Jump. Do it.
“Let me take the suffering from you.”
(Leave me alone, let me go—!)
Jump.
“I will take the suffering from you.”
(I DON'T WANT TO—!)
Clutching his head, ears ringing, head pounding and throat raw from screaming, Leo stumbles.
Backwards.
Time slows to a crawl. He meets Raph's horrified gaze as the snapper lunges for him, hand outstretched as Leo topples over the cliff—no. The building he'd been standing on this whole time, the fantasy glitching like a hacked computer screen—
Their fingers brush. Raph misses.
“NO—!”
There's not enough air in Leo's lungs to scream as he falls.
The clear blue skies are gone. The sun is gone, replaced by a gleaming full moon over looming skyscrapers and a star-less night sky. The warm, shimmering ocean is gone, too. Leo plummets instead toward cold, unforgiving concrete that gets closer and closer every second.
Part of him is afraid. One would argue he should be entirely afraid since he's about to die. But the other part, born from unshakable trust and belief in his guiding light since day one, isn't scared at all.
Raph will catch me, he thinks, squinting against the wind whipping at his face. Raph will always catch me.
So he falls. And he waits. The ground rushes to meet him.
And there. A flash of red, a thundering boom that shakes the earth beneath them—
Leo lands in the cradle of Raph's giant phantom hands right before he passes out.
---
“Jesus, Raph, what was—oh my god.”
“Leo!”
“Did he jump?! Is he okay, is he dead?!”
“Oh my god, oh my god, Leo, baby, please wake up—”
He hears voices. His siblings surround him. They don't sound happy at all this time. He wonders if that's his fault again.
“C'mon, Leo, open your eyes. I'm here, Raph's here, I caught you, you're okay, just—just open your eyes, please—”
That's Raph. Why's he freaking out this time? Why is Leo so freaking sore? Didn't he go to bed after that fight with the—?
Oh. Oh, wait, shit—
Leo's eyes snap open. He gasps, gulping deep and greedy gasps of air. His family flutter around him, swearing and thanking god and choking back tears. Raph's face looms over him, one giant hand cupping Leo's face in his palm as he tells him to keep breathing, you're good, you're doing great, just keep breathing.
Above him, Leo can see Metro Tower, the ledge he'd toppled off hundreds of feet overhead. The ledge he'd nearly jumped off.
April bullies a weepy Mikey and barely-repressing-panic Donnie into giving Raph space to gather Leo up and carefully pick their way out of the patch of pavement shattered to pieces from Raph's landing. Once they're out, Raph wastes no time crushing Leo in his arms, their siblings quick to worm their way in a assure themselves in their own chaotic way that Leo is alright.
Catatonic, staring at the space where he would've landed—splattered like a green and red pancake—Leo barely feels any of it.
He stares and stares. His chest feels hollow.
He loses time.
They disentangle themselves long enough for Donnie to make a call to an audibly frantic Splinter, but it all goes over Leo's head. Then he's being picked up, cradled like a baby, and carted off quickly out of the open. Then they're running, words like 'shock' and 'catatonic' being thrown around amid other colourful words that would've gotten them slapped, then Casey and Dad meet them halfway, Dad makes a portal with Leo's missing swords, and then there's blue, and then there's warmth and the smell of home and—
Leo blinks.
He doesn't remember dozing off, but his body feels heavy in a comfortable way like when you've just woken up from a good, deep sleep and the world is quiet, soft and nothing hurts. Craning his neck to look around, not wanting to pop this bubble of peace and security just yet, he finds he's in Raph's room, lying on Raph's enormous beanbag bed and partly buried in all of Raph's biggest, softest blankets. All of them. Even the one baby blanket that'd survived Shredder's rampage in the old lair; it's clutched in Leo's hand, tucked under his chin along with a Sonic the Hedgehog Build-A-Bear April had bought last year.
With sights, scents and scenery, Leo is surrounded by everything Raph, Big Brother and safe.
And then there's Raph himself sitting on the floor, leaning with his arms crossed under his head across the beanbag bed beside Leo, snoring quietly away.
Leo stares at his older brother's scarred, peaceful face. He frees one arm from the blanket mountain he's swaddled in to reach out with shaking fingers and touch Raph's cheek. His mask is still damp under his eyes. They're still puffy, slightly red around the edges when they flutter open at Leo's cold touch.
Barely awake or aware of anything, he doesn't give Leo time to pull away before his massive palm engulfs Leo's on instinct, squeezing tight. Then he yawns, rubs his eyes with his free hand, looks at Leo staring at him with moon-wide eyes and smiles.
“Hey, bud.” His voice is rough—from sleep, screaming, crying or all of the above, Leo can't tell. “Y'okay?”
“... mm-hm,” Leo nods absently, shifting under his warm, blessedly warm, blanket prison. “...how long...?”
Raph yawns again, jaw cracking. “'Bout eight hours,” he says and shit, that's got to be a record. “It's just about noon. Told everybody to scram once Donnie and Jr gave you the all-clear and kinda just—kidnapped you? And buried you alive in every warm thing I have in my possession save for myself? I mean I would've, but Raph's a big mother-fricker and I kinda want you alive, so...”
Leo giggles before he can stop himself, pulling a face when Raph sends him a wretchedly sappy look. “Eh, kidnapping shmidnapping. I'm warm and toasty here. Five stars, a billion outta ten. Best kidnapping ever.”
Raph's chuckle rumbles like far-off thunder, dropping Leo's hand to smooth his over Leo's head instead. Leo leans into it. “Glad you think so, champ. Cos this is where you're staying for the next—I dunno. Hundred years?”
“Aghlsh—beg thy finest pardon?!” Leo splutters, batting Raph's hand away in mock outrage. “What'd I do to deserve life in blanket jail?!”
Raph arches a brow. “Want the short list or the long?”
“Whichever gets me a lawyer faster.”
Raph huffs a laugh. Only for his smile to dim as he hefts himself up and sits on the beanbag bed by Leo's knees, tail absently curling around the blanket cocoon. He heaves a sigh before levelling Leo with a heavy look, draining the room of the levity Leo had been fighting tooth and nail to keep.
“I almost lost you yesterday. Again,” Raph says. His voice cracks on the last word. Leo's heart cracks with it. “You... do you know how scared I was, Leo? Watching you standing at the edge of the tallest freaking building in the city, smiling down at the ground like—like you were—“ He quickly looks away, breathing deep through his nose and pinching his brow as he reigned himself in.
Heart hammering, Leo shifts and struggles until he's sitting upright, legs folded, hedgehog teddy hugged to his chest. He's still wearing Raph's pink hoodie, too-long sleeves flopping over his hands. He leans forward to catch his brothers' gaze. “... Raph?”
Raph drops his hand and sighs again. He doesn't look at Leo, staring hard at the wall of Ghost Bear and Jupiter Jim posters. “... I know you were under some bogus spell,” he begins. “But—Donnie looked him up not long after you got hit; he's got a history of using that on other kids our age. Said he could 'sense a troubled soul in need of freedom and wanted to take their suffering' or some bullshit. That's why he targeted you. And I know you'd... you'd never do that—”
“Never,” Leo says immediately, blood ice cold in his veins. “Raph, no, I would never, I swear—”
He'd had... thoughts before, like anyone who's been through what they have. But Leo knew them for what they were; intrusive, self-deprecating, helpless feelings from a scared, hurt kid. Any urges were noticed by himself or others and quickly squashed or addressed, discussed and dealt with because Leo had an incredibly tight, wonderfully overbearing circle of support who wouldn't let him go a day without knowing how loved, needed and valued he was. Leaving no room for thoughts of high bridges, blades or locked doors with filled bathtubs.
They stubbornly lingered, though, waiting for a bad day or sleepless night to rear their ugly heads. But even then, Leo knew where to go, knew that he could and be heeded without judgment. The Thoughts were powerless against Mikey's boundless optimism, Donnie's militant logic and loyalty and Raph's conquering, powerful love.
Leo has gotten this far thanks to his family. So it's easy for Raph to look at him, smile and say, “I know. I believe you.”
It shouldn't bring tears to Leo's eyes, because Raph has believed in him since the beginning. It does anyway.
“Still,” Raph lifts his arm, smiling wider when Leo instantly crawls across the bed and nestles himself against Raph's side, snagging a blanket to drape over them both, “it was scary. One of the scariest things I've ever seen in my life. And then you fell...” Raph clams up again, swallowing hard, fist clenched on his lap hard enough to crack the knuckles.
So Leo takes that hand between both of his and pries it open, clasping it tight. “But you caught me,” he says. At Raph's blank look, Leo works up the charm and smiles, still tired but big and real. “You always catch me. I knew you would, and you did. I'm here, big guy. You saved me. Everything's okay. We're okay.”
That's why Fake Raph was so convincing; Leo has never doubted Raph when it matters, even when they've been at each other's throats or Leo's being the worst version of himself. He has never doubted his big brother would be there when Leo really needed him.
(Not even a spell bringing those old thoughts and wounds to the surface could hope to squash that confidence. Weaponize it against him, sure, Leo can admit it's a double-edged sword. Still, woe to the poor bastard who tries it twice. They can meet him in the parking lot with both of Leo's blades.)
Raph blinks big, dewy eyes. Leo prays he doesn't start crying because he will be bawling right with him, mark his words.
Luckily, Raph doesn't cry. “Yeah,” he says, clearing his throat again and grinning. “I did. And we are. Still, you get why Raph's still on edge, right? And why you're not leaving my sight for the next week at least? ”
Slumping against Raph, absently playing with the digits of the giant hand in his lap, Leo sighs dramatically. “Fiiiiiine. But I still want my one phone call.”
“Who the hell you even gonna call? Even Dad agrees with me.”
“Big Mama. She can out-kidnap you any day, it's kind of her thing. She'd set me up in the penthouse with servants and fancy food, it'd be the best kidnapping ever for real.”
“You are literally the devil.”
“From Da Bible?”
Raph laughs like he can't help it, shaking his head. Then he leans forward and nuzzles Leo's cheek with his beak, snuffling until Leo breaks down giggling, trapped under the muscle of Raph's other arm. “Rahahahaaaph! Stop!” he cries, kicking his legs to no avail as Raph straight up yanks him onto his lap and blows raspberries on his cheek. Leo shrieks. “Raph, NO! You made me drop Sonic!”
“He survived a shank in the back and a princess kissing his corpse, I think he'll live,” Raph says, letting up with a final obnoxious kiss on the head before letting Leo shove him away, still giggling breathlessly. For a moment Leo feels six years old again; silly and happy with his big brother's undivided attention, free to be just as silly and happy, before everything changed.
Then again, given what happened on the roof (and every moment before), maybe things haven't changed that much after all.
There's a familiar pointed cough from outside Raph's door. “Are you two done being mushy or is it still unsafe for me to enter the premises without being accosted?”
Raph and Leo roll their eyes. “Yes, we're done,” Raph says, tossing Leo back on the bed, his squeak muffled by the blankets. “Get in here ya doof.”
“Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperated~,” Donnie sings under his breath, a knee-jerk reaction, as he steps into the room. It sets Leo off into another laughing fit, amplified when his twin, in another knee-jerk reaction, grins at the sound before joining Leo in the blanket cave. Raph rolls his eyes again, his fondness evident.
Swathed in blankets and plushies, oversized hoodies and the combined might of his family, Leo has never felt safer.
---
Much later, after Mikey 'sneaks' into Raph's room to cuddle with Leo in the blanket cave and the two eventually nod off, Donnie nods once at Raph and beckons him to follow. They pass Splinter on the way to the kitchen, their father already on his way to watch over his two youngest.
Casey Jr is waiting for them when they arrive and they gather around the dinner table. Raph doesn't beat around the bush. “You find him?” he asks.
“Back in the bazaars near where you first fought him,” Jr reports. Watching the teenage human stand in a parade rest wearing baggy sweatpants and a black Hello Kitty t-shirt should be equal parts funny and kinda sad. Raph put those feelings on a shelf for now. “He wasn't exactly hiding. Almost like he wanted to be found.”
“Which unfortunately was the case,” Donnie says. He doesn't look at anyone, leaning his shell against the table and scrolling on his phone for no reason other than to give his hands something to do amid the tension. “He banked on us coming back to kick his ass after Leo...” His jaw ticks, fingers tightening around his phone. The case strains. “Obviously Leo didn't, but that didn't stop the perp from spewing more crap about 'freeing suffering souls' and how 'nothing will stop him in his mission to purify the world from sadness' blah blah blah.”
Casey nods. “Right. But as we moved to detain him and hand him over to HCP, he took off, so we pursued, knowing full well he was leading us into a trap.”
“What was the trap?” Raph asks, heart leaping just a little.
“Exactly what you'd think a trap set by a guy who makes teenagers jump off buildings and bridges would be,” Donnie scoffs. “The roof of one of the tallest buildings in the area.”
“We exchanged blows, as you guys did in your first confrontation,” Casey elaborates. “And again, he attempted to cast the spell using the dust from his hidden pouch. He targeted Donnie.”
Raph turns to his immediate younger brother. Donnie's eyes are glued to his phone. “He didn't count on me learning from last time and packing a gas mask,” he says mirthlessly. “Or that Casey's mask has one built inside his from future yours truly. The bamboozled look on his face was truly a work of art.”
Raph sighs, relieved. “Right. Then what happened?”
Casey opens his mouth. Shuts it. Hesitates. Looks at Donnie.
Donnie stops scrolling. He meets Raph's gaze coolly and says, “He fell.”
Raph stares. Folds his arms. “He fell?”
Donnie nods. “I took several steps towards him. Asked him if he knew what true misery and fear felt like and if he wanted a taste of that so-called 'medicine' of his. He backed away from me. Stumbled over the edge and hit the ground. He died on impact.”
Raph stares a beat longer. Donnie doesn't avert his gaze or cower at all.
“...I—I can show you the footage in my mask,” Casey offers haltingly, the soldier falling away to reveal the unsure, anxious teenager. “Donnie didn't push him, I can prove—”
“I know,” Raph cuts in. “I believe him.” The surprise on their faces makes his heart twinge a bit, but he puts that on the shelf for later, too.
Donnie looks down. Puts his phone away and pulls at his fingers instead. “I... I wanted to, though,” he admits through clenched teeth. Bites back a hiss. “I really, really wanted to. I didn't because I'm not—I'm—but I wanted—”
“I know. I believe that, too.” Raph puts a hand on Donnie's trembling shoulder. The softshell looks up at him with dewy eyes. Raph smiles, real but tight and grim. “I'm glad you didn't. I'm proud of you. Both you.” He extends his smile to Casey, whose shoulders uncurl from their chastised hunch as he returns the smile, crooked and endearing.
And he leaves it there.
Raph doesn't say he was glad Donnie and Casey found the yokai instead of him. He doesn't say he wouldn't have felt sorry watching the guy fall to his death like his young victims had before him. He doesn't say he wouldn't have waited for him to trip.
Because all that matters is that he's gone. He'll never hurt anyone again.
And Raph caught Leo. Leo, who only doubted Raph because the man read his heart and knew exactly how to weaponise that unshakable faith his little star had in his big brother. Leo, who knew Raph would catch him again and again and again, no matter how many times he fell.
Double-edged sword or not, Raph will never give any of his siblings reason to doubt him. He'll always catch them. He'll take their suffering and shoulder it gladly if it means they'll smile every day and never think about ledges or bridges again.
For now, though? For now, he had two, soon to be four, little brothers to join in a blanket cave, watched over by their father. And if he squishes them a little tighter than necessary until they squirm and complain, that's nobody's business but his.