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It was probably the hardest start of winter they’d had in a long while. A winter with snow so beautiful it brought a tear to your eye, dead loved ones, and air so cold it bit through your lungs with every breath you took. Breath Kaya and Enji could hardly seem to catch, not when holes had been blasted into their lungs. Not when every liquidy breath brought on another wave of pain that had them thinking “maybe this will be my last” .
Though saved by Kaneki, who had long since rushed off to fight the Doves wreaking havoc on their home, the two couldn’t seem to get their feet under them. Couldn’t find the energy within themselves to pull themselves up and get out there so that Kaneki’s efforts wouldn’t be in vain. But their bodies were as frozen as the ground they sat on--bodies so beaten and torn into they hardly thought they could feel them.
Above their heads stood the bridge they had both walked many times over. A bridge they had never once thought would shield them from the falling snow, keeping it from collecting over those hardly felt bodies.
They never thought it might be their final resting place.
Never once stopped to imagine that its white-gray concert was the last thing they’d see before Death herself came to drag their souls to hell. Never once thought of it as something other than a tool used to get from place A to B.
And maybe it was still being used in such a way…would be their guide to get from this world to the next.
“Hey…Yaya?” Enji managed to speak past the growing heaviness of his tongue.
The frigid air was quiet for a long moment. A moment Enji felt his heart twist at.
They had sat there for so long--blood slowly pouring from their bodies for so long that he thought maybe it’d gotten her. That sitting behind him, just a few inches of icy concrete between them, was a corpse he’d once known.
“Yaya?” He tried once more.
“Geez,” Kaya gruffed, blinking slowly against the cold that was seeping into her vision. “What kind of nickname is that?” Enji’s laugh was gravelly, but still held that familiar brightness that was quick to ease Kaya’s heart.
Enji fought past the heaviness that had moved from his tongue to his muscles, forcing his head to lull to the side and bringing the edge of the concrete railing into his line of sight.
So close. Only inches and yet his body wouldn’t allow him to move any further then he had already.
“A damn good one.” He chuckled. Kaya smirked as best she could at the falseness of the statement. It was a god awful nickname.
Distant gunfire that didn't sound all so distant echoed through the again stilled air between the pair. Air so still Kaya felt her heart still with it.
No way. No way had that idiot called her something so--so stupid just to die before she could even know what he had wanted.
Just so he could die before her. Without her.
“Enji.” She called on as much of a snap as she could muster past the numbness seeping through her body.
“Why’d we become rivals anyhow?” Enji questioned, blinking back the swirling fog that had moved from his brain into his eyes.
“That’s what you’re thinking about right now? Why we hated each other?” Kaya sighed.
“I’m thinkin’ ‘bout a lotta things.” Enji dully said. A dullness he hadn’t wished to fill his voice but one he had no control over.
Kaya hadn’t missed it. Could almost feel that dullness shoot right through her like a bullet.
“Food. Territory. Power.” Kaya answered, fingers twitching against their frozen state. Twitched and powered through to move by an inch. “Pick any one and I’m sure we fought over it.”
“Yeah.” Kaya heard the desired humor in his voice. Humor that was suppressed under the weight of the looming shadow hanging over both their heads.
Enji clawed his fingers along where the railing met the ground. Clawed them to follow its nook.
He blinked. He blinked for a long moment--a moment where he could hardly tell the difference between the cold in the air and in his body.
“T--tell something else you're thinking about.” Kaya's voice sounded so-- desperate . A desperation he had never heard in it before. It tore deeper through Enji’s heart then the hole through his abdomen.
“I’m thinkin’...’bout how beautiful I thought you were--when I first saw you without the mask.”
Inch by inch fingers moved along.
“I’m thinkin’ ‘about when ya first let me walk you home…begrudgingly.” Kaya gave a soft chuckle that sparked warmth through Enji’s heart.
“I was a big girl…didn't need some idiot trying to be my knight in shining armor.”
Inch by struggling inch.
“I know…just wanted to talk to ya a bit longer.” Enji smiled weakly at the memory. A memory that tugged at Kaya’s own lips.
“I know…I wanted to too.”
Another inch gained.
“I remember…when you slapped me for tryin’ to kiss you.” Enji found himself saying as gunfire sounded even closer than before. Neither ghoul flinched. Neither stop their fingers from inching along like blood covered caterpillars.
“I remember…” Kaya started, fingertips feeling over the edge of the railing. “Being nervous when you did. I couldn’t help myself…you know how my last relationship ended.”
“I do.” Enji’s fingertips felt over the rough edge of the railing. “Surprised you even gave me the time of day.”
“You made me laugh.” Kaya said with no hesitation. “You make me feel--appreciated. Cared for. Loved. I should have given you more time.” Kaya felt her first bit of regret then. The first bit of regret for the poor excuse of a life she had led. Regret for not--not living. For letting her past mistakes overtake her soul--haunt her.
“Nah…nah I got enough. Any time with you was a gift.” Enji’s blurred eyes stung and his throat felt even more clogged than it had been before. He felt regret for a lot of things, but this, being around her , bugging her and making her laugh that small yet so sunny sound--he would never regret that. No matter if it had only been for such a short while.
Kaya’s throat tightened at his words. Words that completely shattered the heart she’d been trying to keep out of this. Trying to keep locked away against him.
Fingers reached one last shaky time. Fingers that found one another and held on as tight as they possibly could.
“Damn you.” Kaya breathed past the burning in her eyes. “I was ready to go. So ready. But now--Enji, I just want to talk with you a bit longer.”
Tears rushed down Enji’s rounded, blood splattered cheeks he hardly could feel.
Heavy fingers held tighter just as numb ones did.
“I want to too.” Enji weavered. “God--I was ready too. Real ready. But how can I go when I haven’t annoyed you with more nicknames?”
Gunfire shook through their bones.
The roar of some creature more monstrous than either of them rattled frozen pebbles out of their frosty confines.
And still they held on. Didn’t move. Didn’t run away.
“Maybe--maybe there is comfort in goin’ together.” Enji continued, eyes going so foggy he could hardly see the pale fingers holding his anymore.
“Maybe.” Kaya’s voice wavered then. “Enji?” Enji blinked hard, trying to keep that fog at bay.
“Yeah?” His voice was weak. So weak he didn’t even think he had spoken. Kaya’s bottom lip trembled viciously at such a sound.
No--no, not yet. Please .
“I--Enji, I lo--”
“Boss!” A man’s voice called, cutting Kaya off from saying something they both had longed to say. To hear.
Blurs of black and white and red cut across their visions as their gangs rushed around them.
Heavy and numb fingers held tighter against the swarm. Held tight until they were being pulled apart.
Flesh was shoved into their mouths. Flesh that kept that looming shadow they had been so ready to greet at bay, yet found themselves thankful for its disappearance.
Hushed explanations of a getaway sounded through their ears that didn’t seem to stick. Not as coffee and hazel brown eyes found each other.
The flesh they had been fed worked it magic and rapidly began to repair their broken bodies. Bodies that gravitated towards the other like a pair of magnets.
“Can I walk ya home?” Enji spoke, sounding so far from that haunting voidness his voice had been invaded with just seconds ago.
“Homes a bit destroyed now,” Kaya started, blood stained fingers reaching for his just as he reached for hers. Fingers that wove between each other, stronger now that death wasn’t knocking at their door steps. “But I think you can walk me out of here.” Enji shared that cocky yet brilliant smile just for her. A smile she gave back, though in her own, personal way.
“Gladly…. Yaya .” Kaya sighed deeply as he laughed like he’d said the funniest joke in the world.
“It’s still awful.” Their gangs stressed the importance of escaping again, hands greatly trying to corral the pair away.
“I think you mean it’s the most creative and fitting nickname out there.” Eyes never once kept the other out of their strengthening sights. Fingers never once let go of the other as they allowed through followers to guide them away.
“...fine. I’ll allow it. For now .”
“Oh, you shouldn’t have done that.” Kaya knew she shouldn’t have and Enji knew he was pressing his luck, but at least they had that. At least they had each other .