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When asked a thing about love, truthfully, Shelby knew little. Bits about crushes here and there... but nothing more than that. Heck, she wasn't made aware that there were categories when it came to love til she started reading novels—infatuation, puppy love, platonic... It was all just the same thing, wasn't it? Loving someone was just caring for them, liking them to a higher degree, or maybe giving them special treatment. What more was there to know about it? Love is just a curse all man who set foot in this world is forced to entertain at least once in their lives. Love was as normal as the Sun's presence every morning—everyone loves someone, whether it be their parents, friends or families. But the romantic kind of love was different... it was the kind where you treated someone highly, gave them more privileges, someone you'd possibly be spending a while with—it was the most common type of love for teenagers her age.
Love wasn't exactly foreign to her, per se. But she only knew little about it. She knew some differences between platonic and romantic, what "puppy love" was, and the likes... Of course, romance was the one she knew a little more, considering how everyone her age had experienced in at least one relationship and how it was nearly the most famous genre in novels and movies.
But romantically loving someone is also the most riskiest. Loving someone romantically was something else to her... That person, that partner, was allowed to see her at her most vulnerable; a state no one else could see but them, they should know her inside out, know who she truly was because if not... why love someone at all if you're only after their appearance?
Loving someone was a gamble. You're basically offering your heart to another's care and you can only hope and dream that they won't crush it. Loving someone meant having to open yourself up, show that person everything you are and hope they accept you for who you truly are. Love was a gamble, but that's what made it so different from platonic or parental love—it's what's special about it. Because if one dares to try it they could either end up with a broken heart or they could have someone who'd stay by their side and love them truthfully.
And she had never dared to risk it before. Why should she? It was a waste of time for her. She was young and she wanted to spend it wisely by ensuring her future was bright and her dreams reached, before even dipping her foot into the unknown that was romance. But love always comes unexpectedly and unintentionally, it knew no time when to strike someone. And she was its lastest target, shot straight through her heart and it was all because of someone. A classmate.
How she even fell for that classmate? She didn't know. It wasn't that they weren't attractive, it was the opposite really, they were pretty. It's just... Well, they were opposites. This person was calm, level-headed, collected and optimistic. Shelby however... was immature, stubborn, irrational and sometimes reckless, albeit she could be logical; although seldom. This person held a certain charm, an aura, to them that had her hooked. Maybe it was the way they could easily fluster her with a simple wink or a smile, how they tried to hide how protective they were behind such a soft and calm exterior. There was just something about them that always seemed to draw her in, have her hanging on their every word—or maybe it was the sense of authenticity they had. They weren't scared to voice their opinions, to retaliate when they felt wronged. They weren't scared to be themselves, to be who they really were, they weren't scared of anyone's judgement.
Shelby fell, slowly, for this enigmatic, impulsive yet sweet classmate of hers. She found herself beginning to often think of them: "What would they do in this situation?", "How are they right now?", " I wonder how they'd react if they were here..." At first she tried to reason with herself that she was only thinking about them because, well, they were friends! She has to look out for those she cares for, right? Right... But as time passes those thoughts grew, and so did these feelings she kept bottled up and hidden. Like a tub with the tap open and running water pouring into it; it would soon overfill and make a mess if ignored for a period of time.
But she couldn't admit, couldn't confess nor even hint to them about her romantic feelings. Why? Because it was pointless. They would never reciprocate. Never. And by trying to confess to them she was only setting herself up for failure, for her heart to be shattered into pieces.
A girl shouldn't fall in love with another girl... right? She shouldn't fall in love with someone so opposite of her, someone of the same sex, and certainly someone who didn't even swing that way. They were straight; they liked tall boys with short hair, a handsome face and a fit stature. They weren't interested in girls. And they certainly wouldn't be interested in their friend.
So, what was she supposed to do now?
Nothing.
Shelby couldn't do anything, she shouldn't do anything. It would only make things worse. She'd risk their friendship if she dared utter to them about these forbidden feelings of hers... She has to keep quiet, keep her mouth shut and keep her distance around them. She can love them, her, but only from a distance; giving them gifts at every occasion, jokingly flirting with them, maybe even hugging them occasionally. But nothing more than that. Nothing past that limit. Because if she crossed that boundary, she feared she might slip—might ruin what they had now. She had dared to gamble, to risk her heart, in this game of romance. And she now faced its consequences. Even if she didn't dare do it intentionally, Cupid had struck her and she was left to deal with the aftermath of it.