Work Text:
It happened during a day just like any other since living in Paradise Manor. It's been centuries now since Xie Lian had moved in and in every single one of those days he’s only felt comfort upon comfort from sunrise to sunfall. Ghost City had been so kind in welcoming him with open arms and handing out gifts as if he was royalty once again. Xie Lian chuckles at the thought of how many times San Lang himself has pointed out that in technicality he was a king now, with Hua Cheng being the ruler of Ghost City and their marriage following San Lang’s return many many years ago.
Today Xie Lian sat on their plush chair placed in the center of the library. With San Lang out taking care of some ruckus in the Gambling den, Xie Lian took it upon himself to write a couple more calligraphy practice sheets for when San Lang returned. Even with centuries passing some characters were tricky for San Lang to get but slowly and surely he was getting better!
While Xie Lian mindlessly thought of how much San Lang’s writing had improved, he reached forward for another scroll sheet when it happened. A small slice from the edge of the paper formed on the end of his finger. It wasn’t deep in any sense but for some reason it made Xie Lian pause in place.
After all, something so small had just caused him to feel a sharp sting. How unusual… Xie Lian thought to himself while drawing his hand back towards him to inspect it. The cut didn’t look any different from any other he’s received over his long long lifetime. Is there something different about this paper? Perhaps a cursed scroll? But still that doesn’t seem right… San Lang keeps his collection of cursed objects elsewhere.
Still looking down at the thin sliver of blood that had filled the cut a surprising idea came to him. Have I remembered how to feel simple pain again…? The thought had caused him to stiffen as he was sent back to many times pain had been all he’s known. Suffocating as Ruoye wrapped around his throat while dangling from the ceiling… The claustrophobia of being trapped in the walls of the coffin… The steak that dug into his chest and through his heart…100 killing stabs… With each increasingly terrible event after event that had caused him agony his body and mind had grown numb to most discomforts. Something so small shouldn’t have caused him to even notice anything at all.
Xie Lian stays silent for a long moment while attempting to decide how he is feeling. At first, it was nothing else but small surprise and confusion. Then it shifted to dread before slowly roaming into nothing but numbness. But in the bad of his mind he could feel something else starting to form. Something light and warm, like a summer breeze. It almost caught him as off guard as the initial sting of the cut had.
Xie Lian felt joy. For the first time in his life he felt happy to feel pain. In the quiet of the desolate library he let out a laugh of shock. And then his vision blurs just slightly near the edges and now knows he is starting to tear up. Instead of trying to bury all the emotion down like he would in the past he embraces it all. The agony and the hope and the freedom he suddenly feels.
After another moment he stands and thinks of his next steps. He knows he could see San Lang in an instant just from rolling his set of dice or asking San Lang to come to him through their communication array, but his body is starting to shake with the force of his joy trying to now manifest in a physical way. So he turns and starts a brisk walk through the halls and past the corridors.
The manor is highly infused with spiritual energy and can shift itself at will if it is wished of it so it only takes seconds to make it to the entrance doors that lead to the front terrace and garden. Just past the line that separates the manor from the streets ghosts bustle about in their usual odd fashions, but Xie Lian has no time to spare for that right now and instead starts his trek to the Gambling den.
Thankfully most of the ghosts who would come up and praise him in attempts to please his highness move out of the way, noticing Xie Lian’s expression of excitement and the speed at which he travels. If his Highness is in such a good mood then it is not their place to go and chance the possibility of ruining it, or so Hua Chengzhu has reprimanded them on a few occasions.
And Xie Lian is eternally grateful as in no time at all he’s made it to the front of the den, not even sparing a moment to greet the ladies that stand as guides at the top of the steps, as rude as he knows he is being. He nearly trips on the way down the grand stairs but luckily catches himself before reaching the floor and making haste to the red curtains separating the main floor from Hua Cheng’s sitting area.
Xie Lian can already tell even before parting the curtains that San Lang is highly amused by his gege’s excitement. Neither even registers how the den has slowly gone hush from the curiosity of the ghosts seeing their Highness so suddenly appearing.
When Xie Lian spots San Lang he is immediately running forward to embrace San Lang. For a split second San Lang is surprised but they both know San Lang would always easily catch his Highness. And it’s exactly what he does as Xie Lian throws himself into his husband's lap on the divan he sits on, tightly embracing him and laughing in ecstasy. San Lang chuckles with the happiness that always comes from holding his gege and simply allows his Highness to hold him however long he pleases.
Gently, San Lang runs his hands up and down Xie Lian’s back while waiting for the excitement rushing through his god’s veins to settle enough for him to explain what had happened to cause such bliss to fill him so fully.
It takes longer than either expected for Xie Lian to calm down enough to breathe without it getting caught in his throat but eventually his Highness is leaning back and looking into San Lang’s remaining eye with heavy fondness.
“Will gege allow this humble servant the knowledge of what has caused him such happiness. This San Lang is very curious, after all.”
Xie Lian laughs and brings his hand from behind San Lang and displays the small cut on his finger. It takes a second for San Lang to even notice it, having barely bled to begin with but with close enough inspection the faint line of pink is spotted. Immediately San Lang’s expression shifts into one of concern as he takes Xie Lian’s hand and continues to look at the injury.
“Don’t worry so much my dear San Lang. It only hurt a little.” Xie Lian explains while still brightly smiling. San Lang however turns to look at his husband's face with shock and worry displaying on his own.
“Gege, I don’t think your San Lang understands.” He admits while trying to keep his voice leveled. It only causes Xie Lian to laugh more however.
“My handsome San Lang, it’s been so long since I’ve felt pain, as I’m sure you know.” San Lang slowly nods, still not clearly understanding what his Highness was getting at.
“Come come, let’s talk more back home.” Xie Lian tells him as he stands, taking San Lang’s hand and reaching into his own robes for his dice. In a split second they are back in the main room of the manor and already making way to take a seat on the divan. Both continue to hold the other as Xie Lian takes a few calming breaths, preparing to do his best to explain.
“San Lang, I’ve lived so long with pain that it’s felt like a closer presence than my own mind. To the point that it would take a lot more than far most could handle to cause me such discomfort. But today, something so small and simple such as a paper cut had stung.” Xie Lian speaks while looking at his San Lang with such loving passion and San Lang stares back still holding slight confusion but now with just as much loving intensity as his husband was.
“My dear Hong Hong-er, my Wu Ming, my loving husband San Lang, I want to thank you. You’ve taught me what loving comfort feels like again, and I think that is the greatest gift I could have ever received in my life again.” Tears fill and spill from Xie Lian’s golden eyes as he watches San Lang’s features come to finally understanding what Xie Lian is saying, and then slowly fill with tears of his own. Carefully San Lang stands in front of Xie Lian before lowering to one knee, holding his Highness’ hand gently in his own in front of him.
“My darling husband, gege, as much as it concerns me to see you hurt in any capacity, I now know why this has caused you such pleasure. I hope that this lowly servant can keep his gracious Highness so content and happy for eternity and longer. As long as you will have me by your side I swear to prevent your Highness from ever feeling such torment ever again.” With his last word said San Lang places the lightest of kisses on his gege’s hand, right where the red string sits on his finger.
Xie Lian sniffles as more tears start to pour down his face. He pulls San Lang up by their still intertwined hands and they embrace tightly once more. The space is so full of love that anyone else around would choke on it.
They however, have loved each other for so long it feels more natural than breathing, and it will continue to be so easy, for eternity.