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Hanzo felt sweat drip from his nose to his chin to the floor, his breath shallow. He was staring down at something, someone, but his eyes were unfocused. He felt something sticky coating his hands, clothes, it was even on the tip of his tongue. Hanzo gripped the handle of his katana that he only now realized he was holding. His breath hitched as his gaze trailing the splatters of blood covering the floor. Hanzo was back in the Shimada Clan, the Shimada Castle, covered in blood that he knew was not only his. He knew that the figure underneath him was his brother, the wet coughs and gurgles only solidified that.
Genji looked up at him, a pleading expression on his face, words didn’t need to be said. His brother was begging for his life to be spared, with Hanzo’s sword to his throat, his face cold as he could only stare. Hanzo wanted to scream, scream until his throat was raw and his vocal cords damaged. Genji just needed to fall in line, he just needed to listen to Hanzo and none of this would have happened. Hanzo stares at him with piercing eyes, his chest heaving up and down, his mouth parted as he pants unevenly. Hanzo feels his head shake, and the hope in Genji’s eyes die out as he realizes his brother’s decision has been made final.
With that, Hanzo’s hands moved on their own, his muscles screaming in protest as he grits his teeth and feels the blade cut through flesh once more. A flicker of blue lights up in his peripheral tells him his dragons are furious, a roar filling his ears, threatening to break eardrums. He could feel their pain, feel his pain, and before he knew it he was wailing for this loss.
--
Hanzo awoke with a shout, scrambling to sit up and turn the light beside him on. The ringing in his ears made him nauseous, and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. He could hear the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears, panting, he squeezes his shirt in a white-knuckle grip. He could feel how sweat soaked it was, sticking to his skin. He desperately needed a shower, taking note of washing his sheets later but for now he needs to get his head cleared.
He could feel bile rising in his throat as he swings his thighs over the edge of the bed, staring down at the prosthetics waiting to be clicked in. A shaky hand runs over the scars just below his knees, I deserved this . With a small shake of his head and a soft breath, he clicks on his prosthetics, they hiss softly as he stands fully. Stretching his arms over his head, hearing his back pop a few times was always satisfying, and with a roll of his shoulders he walked toward his bathroom to wash the stickiness off of his body. Hanzo couldn’t shake the feeling of blood on his hands, face, and under his fingernails. He hates it when it gets under his nails.
--
The morning on base was quiet, there was a chill in the air, even as the Sun was slowly climbing its way up to engulf the world in that warm soft glow…There was a chill in Hanzo’s bones, an ache in his body. His eyes were heavy with lack of sleep, ever since waking he had felt as if there were chains and weights holding him down, dragging along behind him as he journeyed to the kitchens. He would have killed to rid of the feeling. Hanzo could shake the lingering anxiety he had woken up with, deciding to continue his daily routines. He started with his small cup of chamomile, a small set Genji had gifted him when he had come back from Nepal, along with some strange omnic monk he had never seen the likes of before. Hanzo had assured his brother that he did not have to get him anything, but the man insisted, a “welcome gift”, as he recalls. This was months ago now and that floating omnic had introduced themself to every Overwatch agent on base by now, Hanzo included.
His aura was soothing just to be around, like every weight had up and gone from his shoulders, for the first time in years, Hanzo could take a deep breath. Ever since that moment, Hanzo had felt himself yearning for it once more, chasing after it over and over again. Zenyatta, their name, or “Zen” for short. Fitting, Hanzo had told himself, someone who seemed to be so tranquil having a nickname that embodied the meaning. Zen, as he insisted to be called, had even sought Hanzo out, claiming that they had felt a disturbance within him. Hanzo assured the omnic every time that he had nothing to worry about, thinking Genji had put him up to this task.
The kettle whistles high in his ears, making his brows furrow in irritation as it pierces through his train of thought. He was never fond of loud noises. Hanzo reaches to turn the stove off, noticing just how shaken he was. Taking in an agitated breath, he balls his hand into a fist, tight enough that he winces when his nails break the gentle skin of his palm. Slowly he stretches out his hand, his frown deepening as it still remains shaken. Hanzo does a quick shake of his head and carries on with his routine for that morning.
Next on his little mental to-do list was his training. Hanzo had not missed a day since arriving at Gibraltar’s Overwatch base, he did not plan to miss a day. Although today is proving to be exceedingly displeasing as his prosthetics uncomfortably dig into his skin, his joints ached, and the cybernetics that ran along his spine were becoming increasingly painful to deal with by the hour. Hanzo would have to be more careful if he were to go through with his usual regimen. It seemed as if something did not want Hanzo to continue on as normal, as he was walking down one of the halls, staring at the floor, he had bumped into Zenyatta. Physically. Hanzo grunts, his head snapping up yet his gaze remained soft as he was met with the omnic’s face. He opens his mouth to apologize, but Zen’s faster than him.
“My apologies, Agent Hanzo.” Though his voice was robotic and hinted with the whirs of gears, it soothed over Hanzo like a blanket. He swore he had felt and heard a soft breeze, a hint of solitude or paradise.
“I was not paying attention to where I was heading, it was not your fault, truly.” Hanzo had not realized just how gruff his voice was. He had not spoken a word all morning until now, there was a slight tickle in his throat, making him clear it. Hanzo’s eyes scanned Zenyatta’s face, unsure for what exactly, the man could never truly know what the little bot was thinking without any humanoid facial features. A silence fell between the two. Hanzo had slowly grown uncomfortable with it, absolutely hating the eyes on him. Zenyatta must have simply been offended by something he had said or had done.
“If I have offended you, Zenyatta, I’d like to extend my sincerest apologies…” Only to get a simple shake of the head as a reply. Hanzo’s confusion was clear on his face.
“There is no offense to apologize for, Hanzo. I am merely…assessing.” Hanzo had no idea there was a situation to even assess. “You are distressed again, Hanzo. In pain.” With that the archer tenses.
“It is just a rough start to the day. That is all.” It made the man paranoid, to be read so easily from someone he had barely known. “If you excuse me…”
Zenyatta interrupted. “If it will help ease yourself, I invite you to come meditate with me.”
With everything happening this morning, the last thing Hanzo wants, the last thing he needs , is for his routines to be meddled with. Yet he finds himself heavily contemplating the offer. He had seen Genji and Zenyatta meditate previously, a secluded area, somewhere Hanzo would usually find himself when he needed a calm moment. Genji would not be joining them this morning either. He remembers his brother was sent out last night, along with a few other agents, a last minute recon mission.
Zenyatta continues, “Of course it is only an invitation. You only have to join me if you’d wish to.”
Speak , his spirits demanded. Hanzo snaps out of his own thoughts. “I am…sorry. I have not felt like myself this morning. I will have to decline your offer. I have my trainings to attend to.” Fool , boomed his spirits. As Hanzo moves swiftly past Zenyatta, he shakes the feeling of regret that grips his chest like a vice.
--
The next morning was the same. Hanzo had woken from his night terror, forced himself up, showered, and dressed. Except this time he needed pure quiet, something to calm the racing thoughts in his mind. Hanzo grabs Stormbow's case, swinging it over his shoulder as he makes his way outside. A small precaution, even if the base was secluded, there is no telling who or what was after him.
As he scaled his way up one of the shorter towers of the base, he swore he had heard a soft chime of music. Something soft, melodic, it resonated with his very soul. Hanzo squints as he looks around, searching for any sign of a bird or possibly people who had somehow found their little lone island base. Nothing, no one. Hanzo had chalked it up to being sleep deprivation, hallucinations were not below the former prince. He grunts, pulling himself onto the flat surface of the roof, just barely out of breath. The musical chimes had seemed to get louder, and as Hanzo raises his head to look up, he realizes it's coming from Zenyatta . Hanzo finds himself surprised, eyebrows raising as he watches the hypnotising orbs float and flicker around the omnic’s bowed head. The Sun had just poked its way through the clouds, only being up for a few minutes now.
Hanzo stands, dusting himself off in the process, and clears his throat. “I did not expect anyone to be up here at this time. I will take my leave.” He should have known better than to assume Zenyatta had not wanted him around.
“You are welcome to stay, Hanzo, you know this.” Zenyatta’s voice has an incredibly soft tone to it, lulling him in. Hanzo would be lying if he said he hadn’t felt a pull toward him. Something about him was so comforting, whether it was this Iris he speaks of or not, Hanzo felt at total peace with Zen around.
“Right…Forgive me, I have not accepted company in some time. I forget how truly welcome I am to others here.” Zenyatta pats the empty space next to him, welcoming Hanzo even further. He was not going to deny it this time. Hanzo kneels down beside the omnic, fascinated by the orbs. He had heard of and seen the power they held, how they healed people physically. Emotionally. Placing his bow’s case down next to him, he was safe here. Safe with Zenyatta. Hanzo lets his shoulders sag a bit more at the realization that he truly was dead to the world, no bounty hunters were going to find him, no family members seeking revenge. Just Overwatch, and their base, and their agents.
Hanzo sucks in a breath, his eyes slipping shut as that warmth washed over him, not realizing Zenyatta had let him borrow one of those bright golden orbs. It was as if every pain he ever had in his body had slipped away, his mind felt blank and empty. Hanzo’s body laxes as his lips part and he lets out a quiet sigh. It was soon after when he felt a warm, gentle, hand on his chest. He grunts, displeased, his eyes reluctantly opening only to see the world was slightly tilted. Hanzo’s brow furrows, lifting his head only to finally realize that Zen had stopped him from falling forward flat on his face. Embarrassing.
Looking over at Zenyatta as he leans, adjusting himself so he’s once again upright. Zen’s hand was still resting on him. “I apologize. I have not been sleeping well.” Though Hanzo suspects the omnic already knows this by now.
Zenyatta nods, slowly taking his hand off of Hanzo’s chest, making sure the man stays up. “I could sense this yesterday. You should have come sooner, Hanzo. Come.” The golden orbs stop chiming, slowly coming to a stop, the one Hanzo had been given before, slowly floated back over to Zen, joining the rest. Hanzo felt cold with the sudden loss of it. As Hanzo watches Zenyatta turn to him, his eyes squint, wondering what the omnic had planned. Zenyatta slowly descends himself to the ground, lowering his hands to his lap, open palmed in a welcoming gesture. “Lie here.”
Hanzo almost chokes on his spit in surprise. “ Lie there? That is incredibly intimate. I have already taken up most of your time this morning…” Zenyatta did not seem fazed at Hanzo’s shock, it did not deter him from insisting either.
“I will not bite.” The omnic attempts at a joke, “All agents are to be at their utmost well-being. You have not been resting, Hanzo. I am able to help with this, if you’d let me.” Hanzo notices that Zen’s palms have started to glow softly, nothing that pierced or bothered his vision. It could not hurt, lying down for just a few moments. He tells himself he will lie down, but he cannot risk falling asleep. There are tasks inside that he’ll need to finish eventually. Hanzo starts to scoot over, slowly lying down so his head rests on Zenyatta’s lap, his pants surprisingly soft. He glances at Zen’s palms, now slowly closing in towards his face. There’s a warmth on his cheeks and he can’t tell if he’s flushed or if Zenyatta’s hands have cupped them. It is the latter.
Hanzo’s body relaxes once more, his eyes grow heavier. He reminds himself how he can’t afford to sleep. Hanzo swears he can hear Zenyatta chuckle at him, it makes his eyes squint up at the unreadable face looking down at him. “It looks as if you are fighting this. I assure you, Hanzo, you can rest here. You are safe .” The words flow through Hanzo’s body like waves, clashing against the shore, his mind.
“I am fighting this.” His voice hoarse as he admits, “I cannot accept these luxuries. My chance to rest has passed . It will come again soon enough when night falls.”
“There is no shame in resting throughout the
day
time, now is there?” Hanzo is a bit stumped by the question, shifting his shoulders uncomfortable under the bot’s gaze.
“I suppose there is not…” Hanzo admits softly, a mere whisper from his lips. Those orbs had started up their chimes again, and he watched them, the rhythmic movement once again lulling him. He felt Zenyatta’s thumbs rub over his cheekbones, slow and gentle, soothing him. Hanzo’s eyes seem to flutter on their own until they shut completely.
“Thank you, Zenyatta. Zen.” Hanzo corrects himself, not caring to open his eyes. He already felt sleep pulling him further. He was wrapped in its heavy, warm embrace, and there was no way he was going to pull away from it now.
Zenyatta hums as he watches the man below him begin to doze, finally. If he could, he would be smiling down at him. “Peace suits you, Hanzo. I will be here when you wake.” Zenyatta assures him, swiping the bang from out of Hanzo’s face only for it to bounce right back. A soft chuckle escapes the omnic, he straightens his back, and with his thumbs still soothing over Hanzo’s cheekbones, he watches as the Sun rises further and further into the sky. Not caring as long as the Shimada rests easy in his lap.