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‘Please, Crowley. Please..I need you. Your knot.’
How the fuck could this have happened? Crowley sat in the shabby wooden desk chair in his dorm room, digging his nails painfully into its arms as he watched his best friend stir, finally asleep again, in his nest .
Well, he knew how it happened. What he didn’t understand was how the universe could be so cruel to him.
Their second year of university had just finished. Crowley’s parents had been livid that he had chosen an integrated school, having banked on him going to the exclusive all-alpha university that his father graduated from, but he had no interest in spending a solid four years posturing and scraping his way through that school’s pompous, superior culture. And so what if his first choice just happened to be the school that his best friend already had a full ride to?
Aziraphale’s final exams had finished a day earlier than his, and unlike him, Crowley hadn’t had the luxury of free time to start packing before exams started. He was too busy pulling all-nighters and cursing himself for not taking Aziraphale up on regular study sessions. So there he had been, loading another armful of clothes into a plastic storage bin when the knock came on his door.
“Hey, angel.”
Aziraphale stepped into the room, and a hint of sour lemon seeped into his usual warm tea and honey scene. “Crowley! Look at this place! We’re supposed to be on the road today! ” They always carpooled back and forth from their hometown, considering Aziraphale didn’t even own a car.
“Wot?” Crowley had returned to his chest of drawers. “We don’t have to be out of the dorms until the end of the week!” He was usually really good at not letting Aziraphale’s scent affect him. Plenty of practice, having known each other since before they presented, but something about it today made his eye twitch.
Aziraphale sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger in exasperation. “My room is already completely packed. Everything is in storage or in the car.”
Crowley scowled, though Aziraphale knew it was entirely performative, with not a hint of shift in his calm cinnamon apple aroma.
“I suppose if we really tuck in we could get you packed in a few hours, and at least be on the way home by mid afternoon. I’d hoped to be home by dinner but…” he looked around the small room again as Crowley returned to the open drawer, heaving another pile of black clothes and messily depositing them in the box. Aziraphale shuddered at his lack of care.
“Don’t worry angel, I’ll stop at that cafe you like. My treat.”
Aziraphale perked up with a little wiggle. “Well in that case, I’ll get started on your desk.”
———
It was about an hour later when Crowley closed the dorm door behind him, just back from taking a box out to his car, when Aziraphale realized something was wrong. His eyes shot up to Crowley from his spot on the floor organizing binders of papers from Crowley’s coursework.
“What?” Crowley looked back at him quizzically, an eyebrow climbing its way up his forehead.
Aziraphale snapped his eyes back down to the papers in his lap. He took in a slow, calculated breath, hoping the sound of the shuffling paper would hide how shaky it was. “It’s..probably nothing,” he finally responded, trying to appear engrossed in his task once again. Crowley gave him a look but let him be, knowing how flighty his friend could be.
Aziraphale took another deep, steady breath in, and his eyes fluttered to a close. He knew Crowley’s scent almost as well as his own, was in fact quite comfortable with it, and he knew that nothing in it had changed, but somehow, ridiculously, he just smelled so much more…. alpha .
He had stopped moving again. Kept his eyes closed. Silently counted to 10.
Crowley put the box he had just picked up back down and turned towards Aziraphale, the scent of oversteeped tea wafting through the room. “Angel…are you ok?” He hadn’t smelled him this distressed since he came back with a B- as his final grade in French last semester.
Aziraphale still didn’t move. “Yes, of course my dear. Tickety-boo. Could you just…hand me my mobile? On the desk there.”
“Tickety…” Crowley muttered under his breath with a shake of his head, and reached out to hand Aziraphale his phone.
Aziraphale snatched the phone from him and began hastily scrolling through an app. Something inside Crowley churned, and he swallowed hard. Something was wrong with his friend. He was upset. He needed something, and Crowley knew he needed to help. He couldn’t leave Aziraphale in distress. He quickly sank down onto the floor next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. It felt unusually warm. “Angel, what is it?”
Aziraphale’s eyes widened, and he stared at the screen in disbelief. “No.. no no no…”
Crowley gently pried the phone out of his death grip, afraid he was going to break the screen with how firmly he was grasping it, and placed it on the floor next to them. “Hey, hey hey hey…” Crowley squeezed his clammy hand. “It’ll be alright. Do you need to go home now? I could drive you now and come back to finish my packing tomorrow if…”
“My suppressants.” Aziraphale bit back a small sob. “Last week. I was supposed to take them last week but I was so caught up in final exams that I forgot .”
Crowley’s eyes widened, releasing Aziraphale’s hand and scrambling back up to standing. “A..aare you sure? You never forget. Have you ever even had a heat??”
Aziraphale whipped around to scowl up at his friend. “Of course I’ve had a heat before! Not that I would tell you about it!” No, there was no way he would tell Crowley about the few heats he’d suffered through before he could get on suppressants. That he had spent multiple days spread out wanton in his nest, spearing himself open on his fingers with Crowley’s name on his lips. They had promised each other when they first presented that they would never let their designations interfere with their friendship. They had grown up, learning together about the world, themselves, and each other, and they knew their friendship was too important to let instincts and hormones get in the way. They knew how things were, and how they would always be. Aziraphale knew what he couldn’t have, and right now, with a bead of sweat rolling down his brow, and an involuntary twitch of his cock, he was surrounded and inundated with the scent of it.
Crowley raised his hands in concession. “Ok! Alright!” Aziraphale’s scent had turned again, the pungent tea lacing with hints of sour lemon, yet somehow a deep honey-pear scent was seeping through as well. Crowley worked his jaw back and forth. Clearly, his friend was distressed, angry, and aroused. He took a deep breath (decidedly through his mouth rather than his nose), and looked down at Aziraphale in concern. “What do we do? What do you need? I guess we need to get you back to your nest…”
“My nest is in boxes in your car Crowley! I’m checked out of the dorm!”
Fuck. Right. “How much time do you have? Maybe I could get you to a hotel?” He bit his own tongue as soon as the words left his mouth. He didn’t want to let Aziraphale leave his room, much less deposit him alone in a hotel room. He was safe here. Crowley could be sure of it.
Azirpahale wrapped his arms around himself. “I don’t know. It has admittedly been a few years since I’ve had a heat, and the memories I do have are fuzzy.” He moved to stand. “But I suppose that is the best course of ac…tion…..oh no .” The meager attempt at clenching his hole did nothing to stop the ooze of liquid seeping through his pants and trousers. He looked up at Crowley horrified.
He smelled it immediately. The sweet, dripping honey, drizzled over freshly peeled, crisp pears. The smell of his slick was just like the smell of his arousal, only ten-fold. His mouth watered, and he turned around to dive into a storage bin and pull out an oversized sweater and pull it over his head; the hem of the fabric landing midway down his thighs should be enough to hide the quickly growing bulge in his denims. The room was anything but cold, but at least this way he hoped he could avoid making Aziraphale more uncomfortable than he already was.
“Well scratch that idea. There’s no way I am walking you out of an all-alpha dorm smelling like that ,” Crowley quipped, just barely fighting back a growl.
Aziraphale’s eyes softened, and he stepped forward barely an inch, keeping his face down. “Is it..that bad? You dislike it that much?”
The shifts in Aziraphale’s scent and demeanor were giving Crowley whiplash. He wanted to pull him into his arms, comfort and protect him. He also wanted to throw him into his nest and take care of him in every possible way. But this wasn’t his best friend. His Aziraphale was not meek. Crowley grit his teeth. “No, angel. Not bad. That’s the problem.”
Oh, but Crowley smelled so good . Aziraphale desperately wanted to bury his nose in the source of that rich cinnamon whisky. He’d just barely stopped himself from moving closer to him. He felt like he was going to cry, and Aziraphale did not cry in front of people. “Crowley…I don’t think I can…I don’t know what to do…”
And just like that, both of their silent wishes came true, and Aziraphale was being pulled firmly into Crowley’s narrow chest, his face slotting easily into the crook of Crowley’s neck. The taller man was holding him, stroking his back firmly. “It’s alright, angel. It’s alright. You can stay here until it passes.”
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Aziraphale knew he was mortified that he had started purring, but the feel of Crowley’s arms around him, and the intoxicating musk of his scent gland right under his nose left him feeling like he was floating into another world. “Thank you,” he breathed against his neck.
Fuck . The oversized sweater couldn’t do anything to conceal the bulge in his tight black jeans if Aziraphale was pushed up against him. Surely, Crowley should have thought of that before pulling him into his arms, but the desire to hold him, to comfort him, had been too strong to resist. “Don’t worry about it… I’ll just get you.. Um. Set up.” He steeled himself to voice exactly what he didn’t want, but what he knew he needed to do. “...And I’ll go get a hotel room for myself.”
Aziraphale pulled back sharply, gaze boring into Crowley’s deep amber eyes with a sick desperation that Crowley had never seen before. “What? You can’t just leave me here like this!”
So the heat was progressing faster than either of them had expected. There’s no way Aziraphale would want Crowley to see him like that. Not really. Crowley grasped both of Aziraphale’s shoulders, dragging his hands down until he was squeezing both of his biceps, holding him in place as he stared back into the demanding blue-grey eyes that he loved. “Aziraphale, I cannot stay here with you. You don’t want that. I don’t know what it’s like for you but when I’m in rut I get…” He clenched his jaw, hard. “It wouldn’t be right.”
Aziraphale was beginning to feel dizzy, the sweat beading at his brow causing his blond-white curls to stick to his forehead. He had to swallow down his rejection. Of course Crowley wouldn’t want him. They were just friends , just as they always had been. Just because he reeked of lust didn’t mean that it would make Crowley want him back. But that still didn’t mean he could just leave .
“Crowley,” he tried again. “You just said you couldn’t walk me through an alpha dorm in this state, but you would leave me alone in one?”
“You’ll be safe in my room. I have the only key, and I’ll come by and bring you food and…stuff.”
“But I don’t know what I’ll do, either! I could leave. And what about when I have to walk down the hall for the loo? Someone could find me.”
Crowley let go of his arms and ran his fingers through his short scarlet waves, turning to pace in the small room. “Gaahhh! Ok, yeah. Those are good points.” He sunk heavily onto his bed. “Right. I guess I..stay here” he swallowed back a needy groan as he imagined what this meant he was going to have to endure. “I’ll just…put my headphones in and distract myself on the computer while you…take care of yourself.” He looked up at his best friend, still standing frozen, mortified in the middle of the room. The wet stain was spreading down his inner thighs, darkening the fabric, and he was desperately pressing at the bulge tenting his tan trousers, his blasted instincts clearly overpowering his willpower. Crowley’s heart ached for him. He wanted more than anything to gently lay him down on his bed, in his nest, and give him all the pleasure he deserved.
He’d have to manage with the next best option. He bent over and slid a cardboard box out from under the bed. “Go on, then. You must be uncomfortable. You can…take off your trousers. Come over here.”
They had seen one another naked before. They had known each other for decades, so of course they had. But admittedly, the last time they’d seen one another Crowley hadn’t developed a knot yet.
Aziraphale, reluctantly, did what he was told. He couldn’t not. His alpha (no, he told himself, not his) had told him to take off his clothes, and he wanted to. He wanted to , never mind that he always challenged Crowley. It was how their friendship worked, but with the hormones coursing through him, and Crowley’s irresistible smell, and an invitation to his nest. There was no way he was going to disobey.
Crowley pulled the box onto the bed, gingerly opening it, praying his face wasn’t as flushed as it felt. He busied himself looking through it, pointedly ignoring (certainly not sneaking a look as Aziraphale’s cock sprung free from his pants with a little bounce) as his friend peeled off his soiled trousers and pants. For good measure, Aziraphale was taking off his shirt and vest, too, letting out an accidental moan as his fingers trailed over his own nipples. His face was certainly bright red.
Aziraphale looked at the bed hesitantly, but faltered, going first to one of the as of yet packed drawers to pull out a towel before he came over to lay it next to Crowley and sit down.
Of course he did, Crowley thought. His angel. Ever thoughtful, even in this terrible, altered mental state, didn’t want to soil his nest with his slick. Though Crowley doubted one towel would protect the sheets in the long run.
Crowley reached into the box and began pulling out items, setting each one carefully between them. A black stroker with silver, glittery sparkles. A dildo, unfortunately without a knot, that was a bit smaller than him, but that he hoped would satisfy Aziraphale, and a plug that he was sure was too small to satisfy, but would hopefully give him a semblance of being filled by a knot. He may not know what it was like to experience a heat, but he’d certainly watched enough porn of omegas in heat to have an idea of what their…physical needs were.
Aziraphale picked up the dildo with a moan, clearly unable to stifle his need anymore. He was breathing more heavily now, and he didn’t dare look up at Crowley. “You…you use these?”
“Ngk…yeah. You know how it is.”
Aziraphale didn’t know how it was. He had never heard of an alpha enjoying penetration, but he had neither the courage nor the patience to inquire any further. His hand went to his prick, quite against his will, and began slowly stroking, his blush spreading well down his chest now. “I think you should… go over there and get your headphones on. I can’t hold out any longer.”
Crowley was already standing from his nest and stepping over to his desk to pull out his laptop.
“Just, um. Let me know if you want…er, need anything.” He chanced to look back, but Aziraphale had already turned over on his knees, face pressed into a pillow with his arse in the air, pushing the dildo into himself with a low groan.
“C..Crowley.” he whispered out between moans before the ginger had a chance to pull his headphones out. “I’m so sorry… Thank you…”
Crowley slammed his earphones on and pulled up his favorite playlist on his phone. A few moments later, he peeked back over at his friend, writhing on his bed, and pressed despondent against his trapped erection, rubbing against it a few times before he yanked his hand away, disgusted with himself. It was going to be a long few days.
———
About 45 minutes and 4 orgasms later (Crowley was not counting), Aziraphale collapsed against the pillows with an exhausted, contented moan. The base of the plug was just visible between his cheeks (Crowley was not looking). The lusty, honey-glazed pear scent of his slick permeated the room, torturing Crowley with every breath. He’d doom scrolled through reddit and instagram, and tried getting involved in conversations on a few Discord servers, but it was no use. His playlist had ended, and he hadn’t started a new one, choosing instead to close his eyes and give in. He let himself listen to the hushed moans and shaky breathing, indulging if just a little in the temptation. He’d had dreams about this. About Aziraphale, spread out before him, groaning under him. But Aziraphale didn’t want him, and never would. It was a mistake to do this, but he couldn’t stand it.
He stood and headed out the door with a towel in hand, closing and locking it with a decided click . He made his way down the hall and into the bathroom. He knew that everyone had already moved out of his hall, the sounds of hustle and bustle having faded over the morning. All of the reasonable people, like Aziraphale, wanted to be packed and out of the dorms and on to their summer holiday adventures as soon as possible. Oh well. At least he felt fairly confident in his privacy.
He slipped into the bathroom, walking down the row to push open the few toilet stalls to make sure none were occupied, then crossed over to the shower side. He made quick work of his clothes, haphazardly throwing them over the door to the shower as he turned the knob to start the flow of water. As soon as it was warm (it took an eternity) he slid into the narrow space and immediately took himself in hand. His balls were taught and nearly purple, his knot already beginning to swell. This really wasn’t going to take long at all.
He threw himself into it, vigorously pumping as he replayed the sounds in his head. The few glimpses of his friend, stark naked, on his knees, cock hanging below him as he presented . Not to Crowley, of course, but he was imagining it now. Eyes squeezed closed as he visualized himself there, in his bed with him. His hole was dripping, waiting just for Crowley’s long, desperate cock. He’d sink in slowly and reach around to wrap his hand around his angel’s leaking prick. He’d be so tight, so perfect for him, no need to take it slow.
A low growl echoed against the walls of the shower as Crowley stroked himself, fast and unrelenting. He had to get this over with and get back to Aziraphale; the instinctual l draw to assure his safety and satisfaction showed no sign of letting up.
Oh, but he was beautiful. The most perfect man he’d ever met: kind, selfless, brilliant and funny. Loving and loyal. The perfect mate.
Crowley spilled onto the shower wall with a gasping moan, squeezing his knot tight as it swelled to its full size, his body convulsing with each white-hot spurt. He sank down onto his knees, keeping his firm grip around his knot as he breathed through the aftermath. He didn’t remember the last time he’d come that hard. Then again, his fantasies about Aziraphale had up until now been indeed, just fantasies. Now he knew what it was like. She sounds he made, and the beautiful vision of his face as it scrunched up in ecstasy. (Ok, maybe he had looked a few times.)
Mate .
The thought echoed in his head. He hadn’t dared let himself think that before, but there it had been, blinding bright in his mind as he shook apart.
He took a moment, stood, and sprayed himself off quickly before dressing and sulking back towards his room.
———
Aziraphale turned over, roused by the insatiable heat growing low inside him once more. He was sticky, the sheets and pillows underneath him soaked with sweat and other things, but this wasn’t his bed. It smelled much better. He rolled onto his side and buried his face in the pillow. Crisp apples and intoxicating whisky. His eyes shot open with a gasp, and Crowley was kneeling at the side of the bed with a glass of water, with a straw no less.
“Drink, angel. You need to keep hydrated.”
He pushed himself up on an elbow and took the glass, noticing that one of the thin sheets had been pulled over him. He knew his body had been fully exposed when he’d fallen asleep. He took a few sips before pushing it back towards Crowley and falling pathetically against the sheets again.
“How long was I out?” Good. He was able to form words. Perhaps he had a few more minutes before the heat fully overtook him again.
“Not sure, 45 minutes? An hour?” Crowley lied, glancing at his watch. 52 minutes. “Brought you a sandwich too. You should eat if you can. Keep up your strength.”
“Thank you, my dear. Thought…” he closed his eyes momentarily, feeling his cock stir. “I’m not sure if I can manage that.”
“Not to worry. It’s just a ham and cheese. Should keep until you’re ready.” Crowley pushed himself up from his place next to the bed as he smelled what he thought was another rush of slick. It was hard to tell, with how powerfully the smell already flooded the room. He moved back to his spot in the desk, letting his lanky limbs flop back into the chair with a squeak.
Crowley looked at the floor.
Aziraphale looked at Crowley.
“Oh, my dear. I’m so, so sorry. How wonderfully you’re taking care of me while you must be…” he trailed off. “It’s very kind.”
“Not kind,” Crowley bit back, a bit too harshly. “You’re my friend. It’s just what we…do. Yeah?”
Aziraphale could feel the haze overtake him again, but Crowley had said something, hadn’t he?
“Yes, of course darling.”
Aziraphale’s eyes fluttered shut again, but now Crowley was staring at him. ‘Darling’ ? He had never called him that before. ‘Dear boy’, or ‘my dear’? Sure, all the time. But ‘ Darling ’? Oh, no. This wasn’t fair.
“Still, you…” Aziraphale started again. “You’ve done so much for me.” His voice was quiet and shaky. “There must be something I can do for you. In return.” He forced his eyes open and turned towards him with a small smile.
Crowley’s eyes shot up towards the ceiling, just managing to avoid locking gaze with the infuriating object of his desire. “Not right now, angel. You can take me out to the pub sometime. Maybe lunch. Plenty of time to make it up to me over summer holiday.”
Aziraphale frowned, turning his head into the pillow to soak up that glorious scent again. He didn’t want to take Crowley to the pub, or out to lunch. He had been pretty sure that his insinuation would elicit more of a reaction than that, even if they were ‘ just friends’. He could smell Crowley too, afterall. Even if his heart didn’t want it, his body did, and surely after this was all said and done they could go back to normal, blaming this terrible fluke on their unfortunate anatomy. He bit his lip, another rush of heady desire overtaking him. He couldn’t deal with this.
“Please, Crowley. Please..I need you. Your knot,” he knew as he took himself in hand again and his back arching off the bed that he wasn’t in his right mind. He would never have said something so vulgar otherwise, but it was true . He squeezed around the plug still inside of him. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough as long as he was surrounded by the overwhelming fragrance of Crowley’s ripe cinnamon-coated apples and whisky blending perfectly with his own honeyed pear and earl grey.
“Crowley… “ He was delirious with it. “I want you. ” He grabbed the stroker off the bedside table, throwing back the sheets and filling it with himself. He wanted Crowley to watch him. Wanted him to give in to his instincts and take him.
Crowley knew he didn’t mean it. When this was all over Aziraphale would regret everything he said, if he even remembered it, and anything Crowley did in response to those torturous pleas would never be lived down. Still, he chanced to look over at the omega again.
Aziraphale was still looking directly at his face, mouth slightly open and heaving shallow breaths, with such a helpless, yearning look in his eyes.
Crowley’s resolve broke, if just a little. He stood, stalking toward the bed with 3 long strides before he was there, looking down at him. Their eyes were locked, Aziraphale still pumping himself with the stroker.
“Turn over,” he said, with a confidence he didn’t feel as he snatched up the still slick-soaked dildo perched on its suction cup on the bedside table.
Aziraphale complied immediately, pulling the stroker off himself and letting it fall onto the bed as he assumed his presentation position again.
Crowley flinched, his blood-filled cock once again painfully squished against his too-tight jeans. “Angel, I’m not going to fuck you. I can’t. But I’ll do this for you.” He crooked one of his legs up, knee bent, as he sat on the edge of the bed while his other foot still rested on the floor. He leaned in with a deep breath, attempting to steady himself. If his precious omega needed him, but didn’t want him, he would do the best he could with the situation.
Crowley spread open his cheeks with one hand, biting his lip as Aziraphale’s greedy hole was exposed, and brought the dildo up, slowly and carefully pressing it inside of him. Aziraphale’s arms traveled up the sides of his body to twist and grasp at the sheets just below the pillow he was now desperately biting into.
“Crowley, on God , Crowley, more.” If he couldn’t have his cock, his knot, Aziraphale would have to be satisfied with what he could get from the man he loved. He sank back against the dildo as Crowley pushed it into him with slowly increasing speed.
Watching Aziraphale writhe against his dildo, in his nest, at his mercy was going to kill Crowley, he was sure of it. But he was nothing if not determined. The only person he knew that could surpass his own stubbornness was in fact Aziraphale. Obvious, given the current situation.
Crowley’s grasp inched its way up to Aziraphale’s waist, guiding his movements as he plunged the dildo into the depths of him. The wet sound of it moving in and out of him and ramming against his hole was vulgar, and the constant moans pouring from Aziraphale’s lips were just as bad.
He pushed his fingers deep into Aziraphale’s skin as he guided his movement, sure that the pressure would result in bruises by morning. He was glad of it. Wanted to leave a mark, some kind of proof, that he had been here giving Aziraphale this pleasure. Aziraphale reached back and grabbed his wrist, still obediently letting himself be led by Crowley’s grueling pace.
Crowley stiffened at the feel of his friend’s fingers grasping him, in an attempt to ground himself or perhaps make a connection. He didn’t say anything or move to pull away, opting instead to increase his pace, re-angling the dildo to what seemed to be a better position. He shoved the silicone into him relentlessly, over and over, drawing out gasps and moans and awful, vexing words.
“Crowley…oh, fuck yes. Please. Please . I need you. I need you.” Aziraphale never cursed, but if he was going to let it slip now was as good a time as any. As much as Crowley would have liked to pull himself out of his jeans and stroke himself in tandem, he wanted even more to reach down and fondle Azirapahle’s beautiful weeping prick even more. Of course he could do neither of those things. All he could do was continue plunging into Aziraphale’s sweet hole, rocking him steadily with the steadfast grip on his hip.
Before long, Aziraphale was spilling onto the sheets once again, biting his own knuckles nearly to the point of bleeding. Crowley carefully slipped the dildo out and replaced it with the slightly wider plug, whispering comforting affirmations all the while.
Even as Aziraphale collapsed into his own puddle of spend on the sheets once again, eyes squeezed shut, his hand was still clasped around Crowley’s wrist. Crowley didn’t know what to do, so he didn’t move. He just looked down at Aziraphale, still as a statue, pinned in place by his hot, damp hand, and waited.
After a few minutes, Aziraphale’s grip loosened, and Crowley extracted himself to retreat back to his chair once again. His blood was still boiling, erection still strained in his jeans, and as he watched Aziraphale drift into restless sleep, the words rang in his ears.
‘ I want you.’
‘ Oh God, Crowley, more… ’
‘Please, Crowley. Please..I need you. Your knot .’
———
“Crowley?”
He was startled awake by the wrecked voice. He didn’t know what time it was or how long it had been, but his neck and back ached as he slouched in the hard desk chair, and it was dark outside. Aziraphale was lying unmoving in the bed, turned towards the wall on his side.
Crowley knew his voice wasn’t going to work properly, so he responded with a small grunt. Given however long it had been Crowley was sure that Aziraphale hadn’t been asleep the entire time. Must have managed to keep himself quiet. Either that, or Crowely was just too exhausted from the sheer exertion of willpower keeping himself away from Aziraphale.
“Can I ask you a favor?” Aziraphale’s voice was barely above a whisper, and Crowley sat up to listen carefully.
“What is it, angel?” There was very little Crowely wouldn’t do for him at this point, and he was pretty sure that by now Aziraphale had wrapped his mind around the fact that he was not going to fuck him.
“Would you…come here? Just lay with me? I promise I won’t do anything untoward. I just…”
“Yeah. Sure,” Crowely cut him off, pushing himself up out of the chair and slinking over to the bed. “Budge up.”
Crowley curled up on his side, back to back with Aziraphale. He could feel the heat of his skin, and he grimaced slightly as the dampness of the sheets soaked into his clothes. Aziraphale pressed back into him a bit more with a sigh, but neither of them moved another inch. Before they knew it, they were both snoozing again, albeit fitfully.
———
When next Aziraphale awoke it was both to the stir of his cock and a growl in his belly, but this time something was very different. His arm was wrapped around Crowley’s waist, their legs entwined, and his nose was buried in the fiery waves at the back of his neck. They were spooned together, and Crowley was still fast asleep.
How had they gotten here? Oh, yes. Aziraphale had asked him to lay with him. And he had . He couldn’t help but slide his arm up his side, his fingers smoothing over the soft cotton fabric of the t-shirt covering Crowley’s chest as he pulled them together tightly. His face pushed impossibly closer, seeking the aroma he craved, right from the source at Crowley’s neck.
Crowley’s eyes shot open at the feel of Aziraphale’s sharp fangs grazing lightly over his neck, the heat allowing them the rare chance to break free. He growled, not to warn or intimidate, but deep and needy, and reached up to cover Aziraphale’s hand where it clenched the fabric at his chest. He laced his lithe fingers through the omega’s as he grasped at his shirt, and he could feel the omega’s erection pushing against the cleft of his arse.
“It’s ok, angel. I’m here. Not going anywhere.” He hoped it was what Aziraphale needed to hear, and it was true. He could do this. After this wretched day he knew his devotion to his friend would win out over the grievous allure of his scent, and his own impossibly wrenching desire.
No, he certainly wasn’t going to give in now. Even as Aziraphale’s tongue lapped and sucked at his scent gland. Even as he began grinding his length against his arse. “It’s ok. Do what you need to.” Let me give you what I can. “I’m here, angel. I’m here.”
Aziraphale’s hot, delicious mouth left Crowley’s skin as he curled more tightly in on himself. His fingers were still clutching his shirt though, and his forehead came to rest in the center of Crowley’s back.
“God, why .” Aziraphale choked on a sob, and Crowley could feel him tremble. “Why can’t I be good enough for you? Please , Crowley. My dear, sweet alpha. Why won’t you have me?” He broke down completely, weeping into Crowley’s back.
Surely, Crowley was being tested by a God he didn’t even believe in. He had never wanted anything as much as he wanted to comfort, console, and satisfy this precious omega, but their biology was cruel and deceiving, and he was not going to break Aziraphale’s trust. He turned over, facing towards his friend, and gently cradled his cheeks in his hands, gently brushing his tears away with his thumbs.
“I told you, I’ve got you. I’m here. Not leaving.”
It was Crowley’s turn to wrap his arms around Aziraphale, curled in on himself as he still was. He gently grasped the back of Aziraphale’s neck, and slowly pulled his head back up, and into the crook of his neck once more. “Here…take my scent if it helps.” He groped around with the hand not cradling Aziraphale’s head to find the dildo where it had nearly fallen into the crack between the bed and the wall, and maneuvered himself so he could reach Aziraphale’s entrance while still holding him close.
Deftly, he slid the length inside of him again, this time slowly pushing and pulling. In and out.
“Go on, angel. Touch yourself. It’s fine.”
As prompted, Aziraphale took himself in hand, stroking in time with Crowley’s pace, but tears were still streaming from his eyes, dampening Crowley’s skin where his face was pressed against his neck. Crowley’s heart was shattering. Both of theirs were.
“Shhh, it’s ok. You’re a good omega. The best. I’ve got you, angel. It’s gonna be ok.” Crowley let any words he could think of spill from his mouth, comforting and affirming this enchanting man. He redoubled his efforts, plunging the toy deep inside him as he shook apart.
Aziraphale was still sobbing as his spend spilled between them. Crowley pulled the toy out of him, still spouting his litany of praise. He discarded the dildo once again to wrap both arms around Aziraphale powerfully. He knew his own scent was still tainted with the lusty cinnamon-whiskey and the rotting apples of his frustration, but he willed himself to purr nonetheless, desperate to calm the slowly fading weeping of his best friend.
Before long, exhaustion overcame Aziraphale, and he drifted back to sleep once more. Crowley would get up soon, he told himself. His mind was blank, all of his feelings wrung out of him like a dirty, soapy mop into a bucket of despondency. Perhaps he’d run off to the shower once more, or maybe just lay against his door in the hallway to escape the blasted, heady scent. It didn’t really matter, at this point, did it?
———
Aziraphale lay on his side, facing the wall. His eyes were closed and his breathing steady, even as he worked the dildo in and out of himself. His orgasm was underwhelming, his cock spent, barely dripping his spend onto the wretchedly soiled sheets.
He scrunched his face up in disgust at the tackiness of his skin and the wetness of the linens. He hadn’t minded a bit up until now.
Taking stock of himself, he sighed. He was hungry, thirsty, and the sheen of sweat still clinging to him made him shiver. The hazy cloud of need was gone, and his sense of self control had blessedly returned.
It was over.
How long had it been, he wondered. At least three days, he was sure, but surely they still had a little time before someone would come around to kick them out of the dorm. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, and pulled the sheet over his lap in modesty (what a concept!) as he dangled his feet off the bed. He surveyed the room: there were empty bottles of juice discarded on the floor, a pizza box left open on the desk with a few leftover slices, and a few other empty takeaway containers. The room smelled of slick and come and alpha lust.
Crowley…
There he sat on the floor, back to the wall, head hidden in his folded arms, which tightly hugged his knees against his chest. He looked just as exhausted as Aziraphale felt, and he knew why.
He remembered enough of it, and with his restored lucidity, he folded his hands in his lap and closed his eyes to do what he did best: analyze, overthink, and fret .
Crowley had been there, in bed with him. He had made him eat and keep hydrated. He’d held, reassured, and even helped him pleasure himself. Aziraphale had been thoroughly and inarguably cared for, even through his own shameful begging.
Aziraphale was torn. Crowley’s actions spoke volumes to just how much he cherished him, but despite Aziraphale’s pleas and what must have been an unbearable biological impulse. Despite the unmistakable evidence of Crowley’s arousal wafting through the room, he hadn’t once tried to take his own pleasure from him. Was all the care he had been shown really just because they were friends ?
It was hard to believe.
He slipped off the bed, giving a firm tug to the sheet and wrapping it around himself. He knelt on the floor in front of this precious man, and dared to reach out to him and card his fingers through his hair.
“Crowley? Wake up, darling.”
Crowley slowly lifted his head and blinked the sleep from his eyes until they focused on Aziraphale’s face. “Angel?” Had he really just called him darling again?
“Yes, dear. It’s over.” He offered a small smile and stood again, reaching out one hand to help Crowley up as he grasped the sheet around himself with the other.
Once he was pulled to standing, they both just stood there, unsure of what to do next.
“Crowley, I…” If Crowley thought Aziraphale’s face was impossibly soft and open, as if all of his emotion would pour forth at any moment, he would be right.
“I don’t know how to thank you for everything. You took such good care of me even though it must have been impossibly difficult for you. You were so wonderful, even when I was incoherent and inconsolable.” His eyes dropped to the floor between them. “I never wanted you to have to see me like that. Not like this…
Crowley blinked for a moment, further studying Aziraphale’s face. “What do you mean ‘Not like this’?” His breathing grew unsteady and a knot grew in his stomach.
Aziraphale tensed. “Well…you know…”
“No, angel. I decidedly do not know. Is there some way in which you would have wanted me to see you…like that?”
Aziraphale turned his head away shrouded in humiliation, the sour lemon in his scent spiking.
“Oh you have to know!” he choked out. “We’ve been together for so long. You know me better than anyone, and I just…” He covered his face with his hands. “The whole time I was begging you!”
Crowley wasn’t sure what this meant, but he shook his head in disbelief. “You weren’t in your right mind, angel. I know you didn’t mean those things and I swear I won’t hold it against you.” Aziraphale was crying again, and Crowley was really getting tired of seeing him cry.
“But I did mean them, Crowley! I wanted you… want you. I have for so long, and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you, shouldn’t burden you with my stupid feelings . I know perfectly well that the best I could ever hope for was your friendship, and I had it! But now? After all this…”
Aziraphale was finally shaken from his reverie by the feeling of Crowley’s arms wrapping around him. The taller man was breathing heavily, whispering softly to himself. “ ...fuck…ok. Oh, fuck…Christ, angel, fuck.
No matter how much Aziraphale wanted to pull away, wanted to damn himself for his big emotions and even bigger mouth, he couldn’t. Crowley was holding him too firmly. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”
“STOP apologizing,” Crowley growled. “Aziraphale. Angel. Look…nggkk..”
This was very difficult for him. This flood of new information on top of everything over the past few days was beyond overwhelming, but they were at a precipice, and there was nothing to do but careen forward together. He took a deep, shaky breath.
“I care about you. As more than a friend, and I have for a long time.” He bit his lip. “You said it must have been hard for me, and you were absolutely fucking right. I’ve wanted you angel, for as long as I can remember. Grraaahh!” He growled again, louder than he should have with Aziraphale still pulled tight against his chest.
“And here you are saying that the whole time , you really did want me back. Not just the hormones. Not just the blasted, fucking instincts. You wanted me. You utter fucking bastard .” There was exasperation in his words, but no malice. He was shaking his head with an incredulous grin on his face.
Aziraphale had stopped crying, but his heart still pounded in his chest, no longer spurred on by fear and shame, but hope. He pulled back enough to look up at him, sporting a very similar expression. “Would this be an ok time to apologize again, or…?”
Crowley crushed their mouths together. He poured every bit of love overflowing from his heart into the kiss, every bit of pent up desire. It was pure desperation, bruising and passionate. Aziraphale reached up to cradle his face in both hands, easily opening to let his tongue run along Crowley’s bottom lip, seeking entrance. As their tongues entwined, Aziraphale’s hands slipped up into his hair, relishing the feel of the soft, red waves. In turn, Crowley’s fingernails raked down his back, drawing a delicious shiver out of the omega.
When they finally broke apart, their foreheads naturally came to rest against each other, bodies slotted together perfectly.
“Angel…” Crowley was the first to break the silence. “You should probably eat again. I still have more packing to do, and we have a long drive ahead of us.”
Aziraphale smiled against his lips. “There you go again, taking care of me.”
“Course I’m gonna take care of my omega.”
Aziraphale took in a sharp inhale of breath. He really liked the sound of that. “Does this mean we’re…more than friends, now?”
“Definitely more than friends.”
Reluctantly, Crowley pulled away, trailing his finger down Aziraphale’s cheek as they unwound from each other.
“You eat and rest. I’ll grab some fresh clothes from one of your boxes when I take my next load out to the car.”
All Aziraphale could do was cast his blinding smile in Crowley’s direction. They were going to have a lot to talk about in the car, and Aziraphale was already wondering if he should ‘forget’ his suppressants next month, too. In any case, it was bound to be an exciting summer.