Chapter Text
A chill—empty, gnawing, running up his spine—woke him up. Images blurred and disappeared into the darkness of his mind, dreams left forgotten and ignored in favor of the sensations around him. The cushions beneath him were soft yet firm, lumpy in that old, familiar way. Voices chattered from the room over. They were quiet, hushed, careful to not get too loud.
Danny opened his eyes.
He was in the living room, on the couch. Alone. He remembered lying down with Vlad, far too late in the night to have meant he got anywhere close to an adequate amount of sleep. Dull morning blues were still flooding through the windows, and his eyes burned with the effort to keep them open. But unnatural yellows were leaking out from the kitchen entryway.
He turned his neck to the side.
And that crib was still there. And so was the body inside it.
He still couldn't believe it.
That hollow chill ran through him again, and his hand landed under his shirt, cold skin brushing cold skin.
It was funny, how what was once what he expected suddenly felt so weird.
He draped his arm over his eyes, unsure how to untangle the mess inside his guts.
He really managed to have a baby with Vlad, huh? A breathless laugh escaped him, and his hands came up to his face.
It was literally just yesterday when he finally managed to admit that this wasn't what he wanted at all.
A baby, with Vlad? And he was just supposed to figure out how to be a parent—with him—acting like there was nothing left for them to sort? Moving forward as if anything about this was sustainable?
Tired resignation pulled at his muscles, clawing at him with insatiable exhaustion. He felt so unfathomably drained. He didn't think he'd ever move again.
He thought he'd gotten over it, come to terms with it. He'd felt so happy when he learned the baby was more than just a concept he couldn't wrap his mind around, that she was his daughter, not merely a core, not an it, a she. He'd felt so enamored when her name became Danielle, when he finally had something to call her, something to know her by.
But it turns out he hadn't gotten over it. Not at all. Not even close.
The ache twinged inside his stomach, that very same disgust he felt when he'd first been told the reality of the situation—the reality that he and Vlad had accidentally created something together.
Her existence meant that the two of them would never be free of each other's lives. But, that was true even without her, wasn't it? It was what brought her here in the first place.
His fingers pulled at the skin on his forehead.
Of all the ways for him to accidentally have a kid, it had to be in the weirdest, most screwed-up, and impossible-to-manage way, didn't it?
Such was the state of his constantly unfortunate life.
He groaned as he pulled himself upright, dropping his legs over the edge of the couch and letting his elbows land on his thighs.
Ellie rested peacefully in the dim light, her small frame wrapped tenderly in a blanket with embroidery done by none other than her granddad—his dad—who had been way too enthusiastic to reveal the secret blanket project he'd been working on for the past few weeks.
Danny couldn't help but smile, despite everything. Because—despite everything—his daughter was adorable.
And he loved her. Even if it hurt.
There was a small creak, and a soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Oh, you're up already."
Danny raised his head.
His mom stepped out of the kitchen, a gentle look mellowing her tired features. "How are you feeling?"
How was he feeling? He almost scoffed, a million different answers fighting to be the one he gave her. Empty, confused, sleep-deprived—same old, same old? Like there was a collage of conflicting colors clashing inside him that he'd never truly be able to describe? Like he'd just had his routine struggles thrown out the window for a life he wasn't ready for yet—for the second time? He shrugged. "Weird, but okay, I guess."
"That's good," she replied with a vacant nod, her eyes never quite reaching his. Her fingers idly laced together, weight shifting from foot to foot. "Want me to make you some breakfast?"
"Yeah, sure," he casually answered, ignoring every weird spark of unresolved tension floating in the air. "What time is it, anyway?"
"Oh, around six thirty."
He dropped his head into his hand. There was no way he'd fallen asleep before 3:00 A.M. Which meant he'd, at most, barely gotten three whole hours of sleep. "I really didn't sleep enough."
"I'm sure your body's going through a lot," Maddie sympathized. "It might be hard for you to adjust to a normal schedule again for a little while." She suddenly chuckled, her lip quirking up just a bit. "Well, that, and you'll have little Ellie here to keep you up when you least want it."
An awkward half laugh tumbled out of his throat. He really wasn't ready for this at all.
Maddie meandered over to the couch and settled in beside him. "I plan to talk to the principal about pulling you out of school for a week or two while you recover. But..." She chewed her lip, eyes landing on the sleeping baby in the room. "It might be a little hard to get you a doctor's note without... you know... explaining anything. And with all the absences you've already had this year..."
A sharp voice cut in. "No worries there."
Danny's attention snapped to the silhouette in the kitchen entrance.
Vlad crossed his arms, impassive and neutral. "If the school demands a doctor's note, I'll see to it that he gets one."
Vlad gave no explanation for how he'd do it, but Danny didn't need to hear it to know it either involved bribery or forgery. Or both. But, whatever worked, in this case. He wasn't complaining.
Still, it was strange. He wasn't used to the nicer side of Vlad yet, even if the nicer side was still just as shady and underhanded in his methods. "Uh, thanks, I guess," Danny mumbled, awkwardly chuckling through the words.
"Think nothing of it," Vlad responded.
Danny watched as Vlad's gaze drifted to the little sleeping night light in the room. His eyes carried something wistful in them. Something that Danny felt didn't belong in a man like Vlad's eyes. But he couldn't deny that the emotions were there as deep ocean blue flickered across Ellie's fragile existence.
And then it fell silent.
And it continued to stay silent.
Painfully so.
Danny wrung his hands together, staring at his muscles and veins as they shifted and bulged with every miniscule movement.
It was the kind of silence that got under your skin and made you want to either leave the room or suddenly blab about the weather.
Danny almost opened his mouth just to fix it—
"I guess I'll go get started on that breakfast," Maddie interrupted, standing as she did.
"Yeah, I'll uh," Danny stood up with her. "Go get ready for the day, or something."
Vlad blinked and made eye contact with Danny, and Danny looked away faster than light could travel.
He hurried to the staircase and reached a conclusion as he climbed the steps: everything about this was never not going to be awkward as all hell.