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It's been a really bad couple of days. Her phone hasn't stopped pinging for longer than a few hours and everytime it's worse than the last. She feels so sad and tired, entirely worthless. She feels like too much; wishes—
"Riley, Auggie," her mom calls. "Dinner!"
Riley looks at her reflection on the mirror a moment longer, wishing everything would just go back to normal. However, she's aware she is not normal —is reminded of it everytime she looks at her phone. There's nothing she can do about it. Maybe... Disappear, but she knows her friends won't let her.
She tries to slow her breathing, eyes stinging. Splashes water on her face and smiles at herself in the mirror. Adds a wink for good measure. Brave, she's good and nice and br— She can fake being brave, as she'll learn to fake to be normal.
The sheets rustle again and again as Riley turns in her bed. She can't sleep. She's anticipating the next message, not knowing when it's gonna be as her bully doesn't seems to keep a set schedule of any kind, not even sleep.
Her right foot catches uncomfortably on a loose thread as she turns once again and she overcorrects as it stops her momentum, almost falling of the bed. She hits her elbow on the head post and tries to stifle a groan. She tries to hold back tears; at this rate she's never going to sleep. She'll go mad of sleep deprivation and lose all her friends and—
"No." Riley stops herself. She knows it isn't true. She does not need to entertain thoughts like that right now. She need to breathe and stop and sleep, and that's what she's going to do.
She lays down on her back again and starts to count backwards as she closes her eyes. Her counting starts to slow as her thoughts start to blur and—
"Riley?" A tearful voice whispers. She feels Auggie's small hand on her shoulder shaking her, and she blinks, trying to wake up enough to be able to understand what's wrong.
"Auggie?" She asks, confused.
Auggie bites his lip and looks at her nervously. "Had a nightmare," he confesses, his free hand playing with the hem of his shirt.
"Oh," Riley blinks, suddenly a lot more awake. "Wanna talk about it?"
Auggie shakes his head. He tries to stifle a yawn as she squints. "Can I sleep here?"
Riley doesn't even have to think about it twice. She lifts her covers and shuffles to the opposite side he's standing at. Auggie takes the invitation swiftly, and that's when she notices how cold it is.
"Are you cold?"
Auggie's breath puffs above him as he makes himself comfortable. He sighs. "Not anymore."
They lay there for a few minutes more before Riley breaks the silence again. "Auggie?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you know what helps with nightmares?"
He seems to think it through for a few moments, but ends up shaking his head anyway.
"A brave face," she says. "The monsters are scared of it."
"Like this?" Auggie asks.
Riley laughs. "I can't see you."
"Then how?"
"Hmm," Riley says. She thinks of her own, how even though it doesn't help much anymore it stills makes her stand a little bit taller. Makes her feel a little bit less bad. "I think it's whatever face you feel most confident in. Maybe push your jaw forward and squint, or smile and hold your head high. Whatever feels right."
Auggie makes a few odd noises and laughs. It doesn't take him long to talk again, voice lighter and brighter already. "Got it."
He says. She smiles.
Then her phone chimes. The breath catches in her throat.
"Huh," Auggie asks. "Who's texting you so late."
"No one," Riley says. She fakes a yawn and forces herself too sound as tired as she can manage. "Probably just Instagram, or something."
She hears the sheets move once again as he turns sideways and hears him yawn.
"G' night." He says.
Riley unclenches her hands and jaw and tries to make herself breathe normally. Be normal.
"G' night."