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“ …and I just emigrated and had no friends at all. We’ve been so busy and distracted, we just hadn’t had the time and mental capabilities to celebrate anything…Man, that time was tough” - Jayce murmurs while working on his part.
It was a sunny delightful afternoon in the lab, white noise from the open window was distracting enough for a work atmosphere. It’s that time of their work when they don’t need their minds being active - so they opened them to each other. There were conversations that they couldn’t have with any other being, only with each other, conversations were nonstop without tiring, with every minute and hour going deeper and deeper into their cores.
They both feel that connection, the same wave of minds and souls. It was fulfilling for them, warm, relaxing and loosening. Viktor’s cold body from anemia and cold soul from social detachment hadn’t felt this warm for a long time with anybody. And just Jayce's presence alone satiates him with human warmth, embracing him fully as he is.
“My mom was there for me though..What about you? Were you celebrating your birthdays? Maybe sometimes it went wrong just like mine?”- He chuckles and seems to not be in a bad mood despite his clearly bad memories.
Viktor remembers how it was - that his birthdays were, in fact, celebrated each year when he was small - regardless of his parents being under Sisyphean's labor on their shoulders, and Viktor from his very beginning knew - he shouldn't add any weight. He should be so invisible, light and non-existent that he wouldn't crush them completely.
He loved his birthdays. It was simple, nothing too grandiose, just him, his parents, if lucky some kids from nearby, some relatives, maybe small gifts but rather no gifts at all; a table full of his favorite (special, only on special occasions) meals is already enough to bring him full delight.
And there was even a cake with candles - what a treasure. People who were there for him specifically and his own cake - everything little Viktor can dream of. His little childish heart was full and bright on these days. He could smile and laugh freely, only on these days he could.
But on his seventh birthday it was strangely still and silent. All house was numb and lifeless. He was stuck in this amber like a fly. Only his mom gave him a present, for which he was really grateful: textbooks with topics he was interested in. He knew it was almost impossible to get, really pricey and so very thoughtful of hers. But besides that, nobody mentioned it. No father, no other relatives, no neighbours, no other kids around - nobody was interested in little Viktor.
On his day, Viktor's day, his birthday - nobody came to him with congratulations. Like he was nothing. Like he wasn't there.. Nobody remembers, nobody cares, nobody needs him, nobody feels that it's worth mentioning - that's it’s rather his day today and not some occasional tuesday.
"Happy birthday, Viktor!" - he expects this phrase, he expects this day to be special, he expects something, anything really, just a small sign of recognition, one single phrase would be enough from a few people from his household, nothing big and solemn - let all imaginary cakes and presents burn in a blue fire - just one single phrase "Happy birthday, Viktor" and "We remember, it's your birthday today" would be enough to not give him a bleeding wound till these days.
Even this good gift from his mom...She doesn't say anything, no "Happy birthday" no other sweet things to her only child, just that she knows it and gets prepared but that's all, like she wasn’t there and he wasn’t there. Puppets in someone’s tragic play. He felt truly lonely, all alone, small and abandoned with really nobody near him - and it's not abnormal for him, he’s used to being in solitude, to not ask much, not expect much. But just...He’s still so-so young and he's the same as he was at six and he never did anything bad to deserve it.
But the thing is - when he was six he had a celebration, when he turned seven - he got nothing.
And nobody says congratulations. Nobody mentions it. He waits and waits and waits. He can wait really. He learned patience from breast milk from his malnutritioned mother, who often couldn’t provide him any milk at all: he waited always silently. He learned patience before he was on all fours with disabled leg as a baby.
He can be strong and wait. He can hold it and just wait. He will hold it really-really hard. Not to mention it too, just wait and hold himself. Wait and hold. Not like he was all broken already but he was holding it - and he succeeded, no single line from him or questioning what’s going on, no cry or sobs, only numb silence. Only strong silence. And pretending that it's all okay, that he's okay, he tries hard to believe that he’s okay, that this day - is like any other day. He's just a child but he can manage it better than anything in this world.
All he really wishes for is to be seen. "I see you, I remember about you, you're here and it's your day, I want you to celebrate and I wish you good things because of your day". All he wishes for is a few people to come to him and say one phrase. It's no big deal really. Or maybe say: “We're really busy with our tough lives, but we remember about you, we didn't forget it's your day today, we want to congratulate you on words today and maybe even celebrate later”....He wishes to not be forgotten. He's just a child. Who forgets children and not adults? Is he destined to be forgotten?
And day ends. It ends with nothing. He left with this normal day. Everybody just lived this day as any other day, like it's really any other day and not Viktor's day. He thinks it's nothing, it hurts, he felt how wrong it is, truly wrong but...It's nothing, it's okay. He will get better, he will get over with it.
Actually, he doesn't need birthdays, it's a stupid holiday. What even about it? Celebrate his age, how he gets closer and closer to death - what a stupid idea, all these gatherings are nonsense, he isn't even close enough with all these people around him, besides his birthdays they don't care about him, don't know him how he is. It's stupid and pointless, he can live without it, he really doesn’t need it. Just some archaic traditions - useless. And he believes it for years. And he never celebrated it since as he decided it as a child. He’s higher than this. He will achieve great things in life without anyone's congratulations.
But in the last few years he understands: “no, that's not right. I wanted my birthday. I wanted this, and I want it now. I got this idea to defend myself but this..” no, he wanted it. It was truly wonderful to have such days. And that absence of being seen, being remembered - it used to be different before this particular day - really left him shallow, he can't deny it no more. All these punk progressive revolutionary ideas may be true for someone but not for him, not anymore. He wants it. And he grieves it, a little grave next to his adulthood, his dead happy childhood.
He tells Jayce about his good birthdays. And about an absent one "Yes, that's not what happened to everybody, totally irresponsible from parents. And i must admit it was hurtful but it's truly nothing, i can bear it...Just it's really upset me deeply that i was - his voice lowered - needed by nobody" he opened his wound to someone who he believes cares, he raises his mental guards barely.
It feels too much already, feels like a really big opening and he wants to downplay it with “but forget about it" to not get himself - this burden of him being and existing not in a right and bright way - on someone's shoulders. On someone who radiates with rightness and brightfulness, on someone who Viktor cares about too.
But Jayce almost screams to him "but Viktor..I need you! I!".
Viktor stares and blinks. His hands stopped any work.
"That's such a shame and loss you were left like this...If this happened to me like this - it would traumatize me deeply for all my life".
And Viktor detachedly thinks - yes, it did exactly this to him.
"Did..Did they eventually explain why it happened?”
"No. They didn't"
Strong uncomfortable silence.
"You know what?"
"..Hm?" - Viktor already got his hands on his work. They're on their job, after all.
"You know what I'd do if I was there?...I would totally celebrate it with you!"
And this really silly thought that happens in Viktor's mind: "but little me doesn't know you yet" and it comes out and it's so unfiltered and silly that he giggles quietly.
"Well, it doesn't matter!" - and Viktor sheepishly giggles even more and louder after the big enthusiasm of Jayce's.
"I would come to your house, scream from all my capacity: "Happy birthday, Viktor!!" so everybody would hear it and nobody can ignore it no more, i would go to every relative of yours and shame them and give them reproachful looks and say to them: “You know what? This isn't right! You can't be doing it! It's our Viktor and it's his day and we all should celebrate it properly, now go to the kitchen, we all will be cooking everything he loves, all for him!” And they'll be all so ashamed and remorsed and they'll just do it".
"It's so silly, Jayce.."
"No, it's not! It's really not. So after it, I'd come to you and say: "Happy birthday, Viktor, you're such a good and kind boy, so smart and special, I admire you so much, I want you to grow big, healthy and happy and I wish you all the best, you’ll achieve great things in your life. And I hope we'll do this day as you desire it to be, all the things that you love we will do!" and then I'd present you with a huge gift! What'd you like to receive on your seventh birthday?”
"Well um, - he stutters -...Well, it's nothing, I don't even know..."
"C'mon, you had things that you loved, just tell me!"
"Em...It's..." - he takes a moment - "..I loved boats...And trains and something machinery"
"Then let it be a big-big toy train! I loved them too as a kid, you know. With a big round road and it'll ride on its own!"
"I'd love that.." he said it with his head lowered and the smallest shy smile.
"And we would play with it together! For as long as you want. And we can go to the big toy store, go in there for hours looking for all the cool toys and choose some more presents for you!"
Viktor never’ve been in there. Barely saw it in his adult years in Piltover - while it's already nonsense to even look in this direction for too long. So he didn't.
"i think one gift is already enou-"
"No, we can and we will buy more. Cause you deserve it, honestly. So what'd you choose?"
"I think boats..A few boats so we could play together" - his eyes just began watering and his voice was a little hoarse but he managed it as good as ever, unnoticeable, just holding it.
"For sure, a few boats it is! And we can take some time and disassemble them to pieces and assemble them again to learn how they were constructed. And later we would eat all the food you love and we will eat your cake…we can eat in bed, my mom allowed me to eat in bed on special occasions. And you will blow all your seven candles.."
"I don't know if I can blow them even now" - he jokes dryly.
"Of course you will, you were a strong kid, I know it. And after it you will get to sleep - nice, warm and pleased after a long pleasurable day, your special day. And I would tuck you with a warm blanket, wish you a good sleep and you'll sleep with your new toys nearby....How does this sound to you?"
"It’s..actually really great. I love this" and he means it. He looks at Jayce's eyes, head higher.
"Yeah?...Yeah! Me too! You know what?
"What?"
"I think we should celebrate your birthdays from now on and ever and we should celebrate your seventh birthday together, just how we imagined it. Is it good?"
"I'd love that" - a small barely hearable whisper but Jayce is so close - he will totally hear it, he is.
After all, being an inventor means not forgetting and cherishing your inner self, your past child self - that can wonder, be surprised and dream above impossible, even when it means that impossible is your birthday will be remembered and you will be loved. A true magic Jayce brings to the world is before hextech.
The sun sets down, the streets become quieter and slower, wind blows with chill, it's not cold at all, but rather nice. A golden hour paints all of the room with warm golden and red colors.
Jayce hugs him.
"Thank you, Jayce".
"Always here for you, V".