Work Text:
Winter break had arrived and with it Shirone to Ogent manor, of course after visiting his parents at their mountain home. But there was another person he was eager to see. Rian Ogent, a dear friend as well as his sworn sword. They'd exchanged letters of course, but it wasn't quite the same when he'd spent the last year in close proximity with the other male. His company, usually accompanied by a lot more affection than Shirone had been getting at the magic academy.
Affection that truthfully he was quite accustomed to in his daily life to begin with. As his father, while the manliest man Shirone had yet met, was openly affectionate. Willing to be emotionally vulnerable and honest, Rian was much the same way. And in that Shirone had found comfort. A comfort that had been sorely lacking at the academy where he had gone through a few bounts of bullying and not been able to make many friends. A fact he hadn't truly hidden from Rian.
Somehow it was just easier being honest with the overly large noble. Who, according to his own letters had also gone through some hardships. Rian was still sitting at a low rank and had only managed to make a few friends. Even so, Shirone had felt his friend's overabundance of worry for him in their exchanges. Worried that his commoner background would hinder him more than Rian's own supposed lack of talent. Of course Shirone was more about Rian.
He was worried even now as his carriage pulled up to the manor, and the only one waiting for him were the butlers. Still he put on a smile as the head butler helped him ascend the small distance to the ground. Rian was nowhere in sight, and though the blonde hadn't expected his friend to be waiting outside for him, he still felt disappointed he wasn't. A feeling that was dashed to pieces as the front doors flung open revealing an even bulkier, more rugged, and taller Rian.
Something in Shirone's chest jumped as the blue haired noble ran to him. Picking him up as if he were a young boy and twirling him around before hugging him. Shirone's laugh was joined by an even deeper laugh that reverberated against his chest. It felt familiar, safe. It was the exact greeting his father had given him, minus the forehead kiss when he was set down. Instead once Rian had returned him to the ground he had smiled and gave him a once over.
“You're still so small.” There was a hint of a laugh in his words that Shirone remembered from what felt like ages ago now. The same light hidden chuckle that Rian used to tease him about his scrawny arms holding a sword. “Still, you look like you've grown a little.” The noble went to measure the distance between their heads and Shirone levitated just slightly. Just enough to make them even. The trick was greeted by a whistle, and applause as the rest of the residing Ogent family appeared in the doorway.
“It looks like our support has started to pay off already.” Bishop Ogent, head of the house and a hard man to please was the first to speak. And the blonde felt his body tense unconsciously until he forced himself to relax. This was after all his benefactor, even if the older man had attempted to have him executed at one point. He was still the man who allowed him the privilege of attending magic academy. Truly a man who had shown him much grace as a noble to a commoner.
“Just splendid.” Reina had already rushed down the stairs and wrapped him into a hug by the time her words registered. Her beauty had only grown more exquisite in the time he had not seen her. And Shirone felt himself flushing as Rian smirked at him, an encouraging glint in his eye. Somehow while Reina's soft body against his was nice, nice enough to melt into, the blonde found he wanted to melt into Rian's eyes more.
Shaking the thought away and pulling politely away from the hug, very aware that Reina's father was watching him, Shirone smiled. Greetings were exchanged as he entered the manor as if he had lived there far longer than he had. It wasn't quite cozy, after all he was still a commoner in mentality and not entirely sure what nobles like the head of the family were thinking. Still, with Rian and Reina by his side it felt more homey. And to his relief Rai was not going to be joining them over the break.
A feast was prepared, a room was ready, and unrestricted access to the library and manor was granted. For a moment Shirone thought he might have slipped into a dream as he enjoyed the company of the Ogent family at the table. Small talk, catching up, and queries to what class he was in. All things he'd discussed with his parents, it almost felt like a second family. And if Rian's pushiness was anything to go by the hulking bluenette wanted it to be so. But something about his pressure of pushing him towards Reina felt wrong.
It wasn't a feeling the blonde could put a name to, not yet anyway. He was certain he would find the correct word for the feeling in the library, which he would enter the moment dinner ended. Or so he thought. Instead Reina waylaid him to the piano where she taught him a few more things, and he relished in the lessons. Using his synesthesia and spirit zone to follow along and learn. Impressing Reina in the process with his quick up take of her lessons.
It wasn't all that long before Rian had whisked him away though. Telling off his sister for taking his ‘Shirone time’. It had made the blonde snort, but that feeling of jumping in his chest was back as a large hand engulfed his pulling him along. It was no surprise they ended up in the noble's room. And while Shirone knew there was a room prepared for him, and so did the youngest Ogent, there was enough bedding for him to sleep on the floor. Seeing it had felt like someone had plucked a chord, a note in his chest.
The night passed with truly catching up, just the two of them talking late into the night. Words exchanged that their letters could never say. Worried someone else might read them, too ashamed to share the failures, and whatever else lay between. It reminded Shirone of the last night he had spent in Ogent with the swordsman. Only this time as he watched the bulky male move in his bed, skin flashing under a loose shirt and shifting bed sheets, he felt something wholly different.
The jump in his chest was back, but along with it came a heat in his stomach. A feeling he'd never felt before. It was gone too quickly to analyze deeply as the topics hopped. But Shirone held onto the feeling, the curiosity it brought to him. And recorded it into the growing list of research he planned to conduct in the library the next day. The Ogent family willing that was, as he knew Rian had training to do, he wasn't sure what Reina or the head had on their plates.
Rian was already gone by the time Shirone woke up, the sun wasn't even that high in the sky. And while the disappointment of not greeting his friend first thing in the morning was present, he found himself prouder that the noble was growing. As past experience at the manor had taught him that despite his rigorous training and teacher, the bluenette enjoyed sleeping in. A habit it seemed the swordsman academy had whipped out of him.
It was hours and closer to lunch before Shirone caught sight of Rian that day. And while he'd spent the morning buried in the library, researching the new found feelings he had, finding results and what to expect to a point. He found the research hadn't prepared him. Not even a little bit. As reading was one thing, experience was another. Just like with magic. And his body and mind had not been anywhere near prepared enough to see Rian, dripping sweat, panting, and shirtless in the training grounds.
Shirone had gone straight to his prepared room and delved into the action results of his research. Unable to truly do or think anything else as his mind swirled, synesthesia and his spirit zone not helping him in the least, as he thought of Rian. Thoughts stuck on what he wanted to do to the tall, bulky, handsome man that he had become in the academy. Truly what he wanted Rian to do to him, as he imagined it, his own fingers acting out the desire he felt as he couldn't stop.
The focus ended the moment he saw white and it spilled across his hand. It was immediately followed by shame, disillusionment, and regret. He wondered how he could ever face his friend again as he lay there on silk sheets, naked, and aching in more ways than one. For the first time since he had become friends with the bluenette, Shirone did not want to see him. Unsure what he would do, say, or reveal if he did. So he stayed in his room studying the rest of the day.
Unfortunately with Rian being the clingy man he had always been, avoidance wasn't really an option. And the blonde found himself face to chest the very next morning when he opened his door. It took him a few seconds to look up into anxious golden eyes. The shame he felt at avoiding him was only slightly less than the shame he felt from imagining him bent over him dripping sweat and panting as he took him. The guilt though for not touching base when he was certain Rian would have wanted to talk more was stronger.
“You didn't come to dinner, did you feel sick?” Rian's sincere concern tore at his conscience ever so slightly. But the hurt look when he flinched back from the large hand headed to his forehead was worse. He knew the noble had been trying to check his temperature, and truly he hadn't intended to step back, but he couldn't help it. Not after imagining those large hands all over his body just the night before. Flashing an apologetic smile seemed to appease the growing tension at least.
“No, I'm not sick, I was just tired from the trip.” Shirone moved aside showcasing the now cluttered desk in his room. “And I found an interesting book or two in the library. Now that history isn't my focus I'm free to peruse the rest of the books.” He found himself smiling fondly at memories of organizing said books, it made it much easier to locate them as well as know what was now available to him. Though the current curriculum he found himself pursuing was one he had never considered for himself before.
Truthfully until now he had been somewhat convinced that sex and sexual urges weren't something to concern himself with. As until now, at the age of eighteen he'd never quite felt the inclination. Towards either gender. Not to say the opportunity hadn't arisen in some form or another. What with Amy as his pretend girlfriend, who despite saying she wasn't interested acted fairly interested. Then there were other various girls on the sidelines. Who were too terrified of Amy to make a solid move.
Though he did wonder if that would be the case once he returned. After all, Amy had broken it off publicly before he'd left, it had felt like a front for her feelings. He hadn't stopped her, though his friends and her best friend had tried to convince him to do so. He hadn't seen the point. If Amy wasn't going to be honest about her own feelings it was not his place to force her. He had thought about it though, but she had her own choices to make. And he had his own as well as no time to stop making his arrangements to return home.
And until he'd reunited with Rian, he had begun to wonder if maybe magic was his one true love. The only things that ignited such passion in him before were knowledge and understanding, the two parts that made up magic. Followed by the magic produced. A feeling that the blonde had somewhat come to rely on against the constant if not incessant talk about women at the academy. While he could appreciate the beauty and all that the women had to offer, he didn't want it.
Rian though, Shirone found him to be a different story. His eyes sliding over defined muscles, barely hidden under the thin shirt the taller male wore for training. He wondered at how much the swordsman had grown, in all regards. But he pushed that thought aside, barely catching the quip the bluenette threw at him. “We're on break! Why would you be studying instead of reading for fun?” The baffled look that accompanied the words was adorable.
Shirone shrugged, ignoring the shiver up and down his spine as a bulky arm landed across his shoulders. Pulling him along to the dining room downstairs for breakfast. “Habit.” It was the truth, and they both broke out in laughter at how true it was. As long as they'd known each other the blonde had hardly touched a book without taking at least a few notes. Jotted down thoughts and jumbled connections littered across a few notebooks with only more notes in the margins. No doodles to be found unlike on the notes Rian took.
Somehow a fragile peace of mind slipped over the blonde as the first few days of break wore on. His nightly activities hadn't ceased, but he'd ceased to feel so guilty about it. His research reassuring him it could be just a phase. Fleeting feelings for those that were close to you weren't uncommon, and Rian, as his first friend, a noble, a swordsman to be knight, and overall man, would be a perfect candidate for misplaced feelings. At least that's how Shirone was seeing it.
That was how he had been seeing it, until Rian suggested to test each other's growth. In of course the fairest and most simple way, a spar of swords. And in commemoration of their duel they would use wooden swords and use the training grounds at night. Well, the blonde knew that's how Rian was packaging it, but the truth was there was no way that Rian's father would approve. Swordsman and mage aside, in Bishop Ogent's eyes a spar and a duel weren't different enough when the competition was a commoner of no swordsmanship background.
The spar had started well, Shirone had been able to focus and keep his mind on task. Purposefully not looking at the way refined muscles moved under rough cotton. Straight up tuning out the small grunts of exertion that left parched lips. Choosing not to see sweat slicked abs as Rian made large impressive movements. His growth was obvious. Just as obvious as the one appendage that wasn't needed in battle, and most certainly shouldn't be standing up during it. A sight unseen when he wasn't in the spirit zone, but all to there while he was in it.
Shirone was barely able to avoid the latest attack with quick teleportation. But he found he couldn't turn around. While Rian might be able to conceal himself in loose cotton, the blonde didn't have the same ability. Wearing his usual attire and not loose fitting clothing. An agreement they'd made so that in case things went wrong Rian wouldn't be guessing where the limb was under cloth. For a swing could be taken wider if need be, an easy feat for a trained swordsman, not so easy if the swordsman didn't know where the intended target was.
This though, the hard and pulsing appendage between Shirone's legs, was not something either had thought to include in the equation. Maybe Rian had accounted for his own, a not uncommon occurrence when the blood was pumping wildly in excitement, but Shirone had definitely not accounted for his. Which he desperately wanted to blame on adrenaline but he knew that was not the case at all. And he could feel the tears running down his cheeks as he curled into himself. In the background he could hear Rian's praises and when he got closer how they stopped.
He couldn't look up. Even though he knew exactly what face, what stance, and a vague idea of feeling Rian had. And all he felt was shame. He wasn't having a bodily reaction like the swordsman, he wasn't caught up in the moment, he was hopelessly and helplessly attracted to the bulky, a bit dim, but absolutely adorable noble. And that was definitely against every rule in the book, even moreso than their friendship. And right now, right here under the cover of night Shirone really wanted to break those rules.
What he wanted to do was get on his knees and look up at Rian with all the hunger he felt. And for the blue haired noble to not stop him as he released his manhood and licked, sucked, and kissed it until his face was covered in Rian's white essence. He wanted to turn over so his ass was in the air and he could show the bluenette where he wanted him most. To moan out his name and cry in pleasure at the feeling of large rough hands along his chest and hips. Until finally he was filled with all that the swordsman had.
He couldn't. Instead he cried.
“Shirone, what's wrong? You know I lose when you cry.” There was distress in Rian's voice as he bent down towards him. And the blonde felt even more torn in moving away from the large hand or into it. The choice was taken from him, as the noble had gotten much quicker after time at the academy. And before Shirone knew it he was looking into golden eyes, the tears from his own eyes didn't stop. Instead they intensified as a rough thumb rubbed at the ones on his cheek. Genuine concern laced their movements.
Before he could even think to hide himself further he knew he was caught. He knew the moment Rian knew. His thumb had stopped and his eyes had stayed glued downward. Either appalled or entranced, Shirone wasn't sure. What he was sure of was that his spirit zone was not going to help him here, so he shut it down before he could feel himself being fully perceived. That was a feeling he knew he would never be able to walk away from.
“Shirone this isn't anything to be ashamed of, or hide” A small pause followed by a defeated voice. “Or cry about.” Still there was also discernible relief in Rian's voice, as if he'd been afraid he'd actually hurt Shirone. It was touching. But the blonde knew that the reason the bluenette thought this had happened and why it had actually happened were completely different. As he was sure this was more than a common occurrence in the training life of swordsmen. At least according to his research.
“It's a normal reaction, it happens to me sometimes.” Rian's voice was soothing and slow and Shirone was sure that the noble meant well. And probably didn't quite realize that the mage could see that it was happening now. But Shirone didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to know that Rian's reaction was just adrenaline and the blood pumping to the wrong places in the heat of the moment.
“You don't understand. You can't understand. This is your fault.” That hadn't been what the blonde had meant to say, what he'd intended to say he wasn't sure. But it wasn't what was coming out his mouth. “This isn't because of the thrill of fighting, I'm not like you. I don't like fighting. I like you.” Shirone felt the tears start streaming down his face again and while he attempted to hold back a sob, it only faltered a little before slipping out under the caress of a rough thumb.
“I like you too though?” There was a very confused look on the bluenette noble's face. And Shirone had no question if the other had truly understood him, had truly picked up on what he meant. It was quite obvious he hadn't. “We're friends so isn't it a given that we would like each other?” The confusion was now etched all over Rian's face, his eyes wavering in uncertainty for the briefest of moments. As if he were trying to squash a different thought that had come to him.
“Not like this.” Shirone had meant to hide his face, but instead he found his cheek pushing closer into the warm hand on it. He knew that this conveyed his feelings better than his words had as he watched golden eyes widen. A realization dawning in them that the blonde still wasn't sure he wanted realized. Not that he could stop it now, as he could see the growing understanding filling golden eyes.
“Oh.” All knowledge rested in that one word and Shirone wondered at his fate that rested within it. “You too.” The words barely registered as the blonde watched concern and amusement melt into something else. Something soft, soft in the same way Rian's thumb was comforting against his cheek. It was Shirone's turn to come to a realization, mere seconds before action took course. Lips, chapped and rough landed on the blonde's.
He knew that later he would likely refer to this as the feeling of time standing still. That phenomenon that seemed to envelop all emotional memories. But right now, in the moment Shirone couldn't feel time at all. Stalled or rushing, it didn't register. All he knew was the way his body was pulled forward, heated breaths exchanged between touching noses, lips flush then parted. Wet tongues meeting wet mouths, and hands along heated smooth flesh.
One touch led to another then another. And before the blonde had time to catch his breath he was bare. Back on the ground and Rian over him, lit only by the moonlight as the night wore on. Sweat glistening and muscles straining. Shirone felt full, his body and vision filled with the noble. It was a moment he didn't want to end, though he knew it would. That it had to. And when it did, that once more they would have broken all the rules.
Looking at Rian, golden eyes soft and feelings unsaid but conveyed nonetheless Shirone knew he would break every rule to be with him. He could feel that the noble felt the same way. And that even though things went right back to how they were the day before, with friendship and nothing suspicious at all, things were different. Would stay different as they continued to meet unseen except by the moonlight, bodies bathed in silver and sweat for the rest of the break.
Academy was calling, but Shirone now knew that despite all his hardships there was a place to return to. A person to return to. And that even if his classmates weren't always the most understanding or nice, Rian was supporting him. Rian would always be supporting him. As his sword, both in and outside the home. And as with all knowledge in this knowledge Shirone found power.