Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ravio sat in the loveseat, knitting away at a new scarf. The soft hum of Link’s family surrounded him, filling his body with a peace he’d never known before. It was rather lovely to be able to relax for once. No customers complaining that something was on sale (he knew it wasn’t) or that he should allow refunds on things. Just peace and quiet.

Then the front door opened, and Link came inside. He looked tired, to the point that Ravio was sure he wasn’t sleeping properly.

“Hey…” he mumbled as he sat next to him on the loveseat.

“Hello Link! What did the Princess have to say?”

“Blah blah blah, monsters, blah blah blah, black blood, blah blah blah, take them out.”

Ravio snorts, rolling his eyes as he leans into his friend. “Blah blah blah, Link is a toddler?”

“You hush.” Link huffs, shoving him away. After a moment, he turns and looks at his new project. “Those aren’t your usual colors,” he comments.

“That’s because he’s making it for you.” Hyrule smirks.

Link turns his head to look up at his, friend? Brother????

“...why?”

“We told him you refused to wear pants in the snow.” Warriors shrugged. He was currently polishing his sword for the 8th time since he’d come into his house.

“Or a proper hat.” Sky slid in like he was handing someone a secret code.

“Or gloves.” Twilight gruffed, fixing Link with a look that mocked Time’s.

Link looked betrayed.

Ravio felt even better about making them.

“Don’t give them that look, Link.” He told him as Link started to glare murderously back. “You know that they’re just looking out for you. Plus, this is your color anyway.” After a beat, he mumbles thoughtfully. “Maybe I should make you some mittens too...”

“At least give them fingers!” Link practically whines when he hears Ravio’s comment. It was like he thought Ravio was trying to torture him!

Well, he was.

In a way…

“Well, hearing that you’re not staying warm, you might not get fingers for your gloves!” Ravio shoots back, poking Link in his side.

Link squirms away, glaring at Ravio before rolling his eyes and grumping onto the couch. He trained his eyes away from Ravio, his arms crossed and a peeved look on his face. Ravio can only sigh and snatch Link’s hat. Watching him squirm back around to grab it made him laugh.

“Look at your hair! When was the last time you brushed it!?”

Link grabs his hat, looking angry (Ravio could tell he wasn’t, just embarrassed). “I do!” A pause. “Sometimes!”

“There it is.”

“Legend.” Time says, breaking the ‘tension’ between the two. “Would you mind telling us what the princess actually wanted?”

Link fidgeted in his seat before sitting up, crossing his legs on the cushions. “She’s gotten reports from a few different places of black-blooded monster camps. We might have to split into groups of three to tackle all of them just in case we find a portal before we can travel to the second.”

"Then we should get going as soon as we can." Warriors says as he looks up from his cloth.

Ravio pokes Link's cheek.

“And that’s all well and good, " he says, smirking. "but Link, we have some taxes that you need to file.”

Link groans and looks over at Ravio. “I just got home!”

“I know," Ravio said with at least some sympathy. "But, the sooner you do it, the sooner you don't have to think about it.”

Link gets up with a stomp, making a beeline for the office. “Fine then! But I won’t make you any apple cider tonight!”

“Oh, the torture!” Ravio cries back, placing his hand on his forehead while the other hand graces his chest as he leans back. “How will I ever survive!?” He hears the door slam in response before he snorts and looks at everyone. “He’s just being a baby. He'll get over it soon.”

Wind starts laughing, clutching his stomach, while Time shakes his head.

“Sorry, Sailor, but you won’t be laughing soon… I understand his pain.”

Twilight, Warriors, and Sky nod along with him.

“That’s why I make Malon do it.”

Twilight, Warriors, and Sky look at him in shock. Then Sky nods.

“Sun does it for me.”

Warriors gasps, shock and horror in his tone. “You two are so unchivalrous! You should do it for your partners!”

“But my partner is being chivalrous.” Sky smirks.

Laughter brews in the room, and soon, Warriors tackles Sky, wrestling him into the rug underneath them. The captain quickly pulled the knight into a headlock and refused to let go.

"Say you'll be chivalrous! Do your taxes for her!" He shouts.

"Never!" Sky shouts.

Before Warriors could respond, angry threats on his tongue, the office burst open. All eyes turn to the door, finding Link glaring at Ravio. Steam was practically billowing from the hero's nose.

“Ravio!” He practically growls. “Let’s get married.”

Ravio smiled, hearing the confusion in the group around him.

"What was that exactly?" He said, a smirk playing on his lips.

Link walks closer, pulling a simple silver ring off of his finger. He gets on one knee, holding the ring out, and sighs.

"Ravio, will you commit tax fraud with me?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Ravio grins, letting the ring get placed on his finger.

…

…

…

" WHAT!!?? "

Chapter Text

Legend shut the door to his office, groaning as he pulled the papers out from where Ravio was storing them.  This was so awful.  They were surely going to be overdue soon, and honestly, that was a lot of money.  How dare they claim he had to give them that much!?

A frown settled on his features as he started counting out the rupees, watching his wallet empty.  One more here, a couple there, did he count wrong?  Better start over, just to be sure.  His head pounded as he tried to remember where he left off.

Maybe he just wouldn’t do it.

But then the king would send soldiers after him.

Legend groaned, hitting his head on the desk.  He was tired and felt gross.  He just wanted to eat, shower, and sleep.  His eyes trailed to the loads of paperwork and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t tear up a little from the thought of having to do it.

Sitting up, he pushed away from the desk, frustration boiling over as he got up and slammed the door open, glaring into the living room.  “Ravio!” He growled, trying to keep his tone level.  “Let’s get married.”

Legend watches as a sly smile forms on the merchant’s face before he stupidly asks: “What was that exactly?”

Legend could ring his neck right now.

But if he doesn’t want those taxes…

Robotically, he walks over, slipping a silver ring off his finger.  It was Ravio’s metal, gold just didn’t look right on him.  He falls to one knee, holding the ring out before a sigh leaves his lips.  “Ravio, will you commit tax fraud with me?” He hates how pitiful he sounds.

“I thought you’d never ask.” The merchant responds, holding his hand out for the ring to slip on his finger.

Legend carefully puts it on, watching the light dance off the ring.  On the top of the ring was a simple black heart.  Fitting for the occasion, he supposed.

“ WHAT!!?? ” The sound chorused through the room, ricocheting in Legend’s mind.  He winced, looking over to meet the shocked and opened-mouthed looks of his companions.  He blinks at them all, he had completely forgotten they were even there.  Heat rises to his cheeks before he hears the captain spluttering and a smirk plays on his lips.  Maybe this had an upside afterall.

“Y-you can’t just-” Warriors starts before stealing his gaze.  “Okay, that takes the cake.” He says before glaring at Sky and Time.  “And I thought you were unchivalrous.”

“I-... what?” Legend blinks between the three before he’s slammed into from the side.

“You’re getting married!?  For taxes!?” Wind’s voice shrills in his ear like nails on a chalkboard.

Legend tries to push him off, but the sailor holds fast.  “Yes, I am, now off!” He says as he kicks his knees.

Wind glares at him, shoving him in the chest as he pulls away before he looks down thoughtfully.  “Why didn’t I think of that…?”

“No!” Warriors’s voice calls over the snickering surrounding them.

“You’re like 10, why would you have to pay taxes?” Sky smirks, leaning over his knees.

“I’m 14!”

“Not yet you aren’t!” Hyrule teases, poking the sailor in the cheek.  “You're just a baby!”

“You better stop before I show you why the great sea fears me!”

“How could they fear you?” Twilight asks, scooting closer.  “You’re just a guppy!”

“Does no one care we just got engaged?” Legend whispers to Ravio who shrugs in response.  Unfortunately for him, someone takes notice and pulls the conversation back.

“So, who’s in the dress?” Wild asks, smirking as he looks at his slate.  “I’ve got a nice wedding dress here a certain someone could borrow.”

“I’m not wearing a fucking wedding dress, Wild .” Legend growled.

“I don’t know dear,” Ravio started, ignoring Legend’s ‘don’t call me that’ as he continued.  “I think you would look lovely.”

“No.  Fuck you both.”

“But you hate pants.” Warriors crosses his arms, raising an eyebrow.  “What are you going to do?  Show up in a suit coat and boxers?”

“Well-”

“Absolutely not.” Ravio frowns.  “If I’m getting married, I want it done properly.” He gives Legend a look; Legend takes offense.

“Oh come on!  Can’t we just sign a dumb paper so I don’t have to deal with these stupid taxes anymore!?”

“No!  I’ve always dreamed of a nice wedding and I won’t have that ruined because you’re being selfish!”

“And you’re not!?”

“Alright ladies, you’re both pretty.” Sky says as he pushes them apart.  “Why don’t we compromise?  You sign the paper now, but Ravio still gets his big wedding.  That sound fair?”

Legend hated that it did.

“I’d be fine with that.” Ravio drawls, giving Legend a look.  “So long as you make sure to pay for everything.”

“50/50.” Legend frowns, giving him a glare.

“25/75.”

“Deal.” Legend shakes Ravio’s hand, then looks at the group.  “Who wants to be the best man?”

Neither Ravio nor Legend could prepare for the chaos that ensued at that question.  Legend might have to rethink this decision.

Chapter Text

Link looked irritated.  Ravio cocked his head, staring at the blonde curtain covering his fiance’s (that was weird to think about) face.  His eyes trailed to the fingers that rung the red tunic spilling out in front of Mister Hero.  With gentle fingers, Ravio guided his chin to look at him, not at his worrying hands.

“You okay?” He mumbled, his eyes tracing the stone face before him, landing on violet eyes that flickered away from him.

“I don’t know.” Mister Hero says honestly.  Being away from his family made him more open to Ravio.

Ravio was pretty proud of that fact.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know.”

Now it was just becoming a defense.

Ravio sighed and rolled his eyes slightly before he grabbed the worrying hands and gently pulled the rings from his fingers.  Link didn’t fight him.  A good sign if Ravio ever saw one.

“Look, Mister Hero.  You’re my best friend, and now my fiance.” He stuck his tongue out at the name, then grinned.  “No, my finance .” He decides cheekily, electing a snort from Link.

“Finance?  Farore’s horns you’re an idiot.”

Ravio chuckles beside him.  “As I was saying,” He looks at Link’s hands to run a thumb over the back of them.  “I feel like I should know if you’re feeling down.  Are you having second thoughts?  Do you feel like you’re rushing things?  If you have someone else in mind to marry, you absolutely can-”

“No.”

Ravio jolts and looks at Mister Hero, who looks downcast.  Had he said something wrong?

“No…?”

Link sighs.  “No, I-” he cuts himself off, swallowing thickly.  “The only person I would marry is… she’s…”

Ravio’s heart sinks.  Of all of Link’s adventures, that one was the only one he refused to share with anyone but him and Princess Zelda.  It was like a secret that was kept under lock and key.

With as much gentleness as he could muster, Ravio cups Link’s face.  “Shh, we don’t need to think of that if you don’t want to.  I’m sorry I brought the memories up.”

Link leans into it with a sigh.  “It’s not your fault.  I’ve experienced worse.”

“Doesn’t mean you should have to keep experiencing it.  You deserve a rest.” Ravio watched his finance, waiting for him to respond.

“You asked me if, if I was having second thoughts…” He mumbles.  “I think I am.” Link’s eyes pointedly look away from Ravio.  “I mean, it started with the Links, how they all reacted… I don’t want to upset anyone that, their hero is being an idiot and choosing to marry because he hates taxes-”

“-which I knew you would do.  You still owe me that gold rupee.”

“Which I will give you when I’m not flat out broke.” Link rolls his eyes.  “I can’t believe I made that fucking bet with you.”

“Oh, you’re swearing again!  That means you’re feeling better!” Ravio jokes, poking him in the chest.

Link grunts, rolling his eyes again.  “You know, most people take that as a bad sign.”

“Not when it’s your normal.”

“Shut it.”

And Ravio does, hearing the slight waver in his tone.  He waits for a moment before talking again.  “You were talking about second thoughts…?”

“Right…” Link takes a deep breath and rests his head on Ravio’s shoulder like it was his anchor.  “I feel like I’m going to be ridiculed because of this choice… Is it a bad thing to want to back out because of this?  I need to be strong for all of those people and yet, here I am, breaking down at the idea of doing taxes and marrying because of it.”

Ravio hums, letting silence fill the air before he decides to break Link out of his spiral.  “You know what I think?”

Link looks up at him for a brief moment, eyes looking tired and worn.

“I think that everyone else can suck an egg.”

Link snorts and shoves Ravio.  “Thanks for cheering me up.” He says, sarcasm dripping off his tongue.  “Really solved my problem.”

Ravio laughs with him.  “I’m being serious!” He pauses to let them settle back into a comfortable position before talking again.  “Everyone has a weakness, yours happens to be spiders, socks, and taxes.”

“Way to call me out.” Link grumbles.

“But,” Ravio goes on, glaring at Link’s head.  “That doesn’t make anybody any less stronger or anymore weaker for them.” There is a brief pause again.  Ravio recognizes this as Link shutting down and he quickly goes on.  “Link, if you’re worried about it, we are putting on a wedding, remember?  All we need to do is act.  We’re pretty good at that if I do say so myself.” Ravio smiled smugly.

“Wait, what?”  Link looked up at him, confusion filling his eyes.  “Act?”

“That’s right.” Ravio nods.  “We pretend we’re star struck lovers or something.  Then no one will be able to question us or our relationship.  We don’t tell anyone else that’s our plan, unless you want to tell your sister, and no one will think twice.”

Link’s eyes go blank as he contemplates the idea before flopping straight into Ravio’s lap.  “Fine, I can do that.” He grumbles, then crawls out of bed.  “Now, I gotta shower.  Do not move anything .” Link glares at him, pointing an accusing finger at his chest.  “I just organized all of those.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Ravio rolls his eyes playfully.  “Now go shower!  You smell like a lynel’s ass.”

Link grinned as he was walking into the bathroom.  “I was hip checked by one.”

…

“What?”

“Showering!  Can’t hear you!”

“Are you injured!?”

“What was that!?”

“Link!” Ravio shouted as the door slammed shut.  “I swear if I find broken ribs I’m going to let you sleep with them!”

Chapter Text

Legend glared out the window at nothing in particular.  Honestly, it was too loud, his eyes hurt too much, his joints wanted him dead too badly, and the coffee was just too bitter.  He took another sip, grimacing at the taste, unable to hide his dislike today.  A small whimper left his throat, turning into a groan as he slammed his head against the counter.

At least it was cold against his forehead, and the noise stopped.

A hand touched his back and a voice broke his silence.

He couldn’t help it.

He just snapped.

“Can’t you all just shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone!?” He shot up to glare at-

Hyrule ?

The poor teen looked so scared, so worried as the hand that had been touching his back was cradled near his chest.  He glanced away before backing off with a mumbled apologies.  Legend felt guilt claw his stomach, his voice telling him he’d just fucked up hard.  He was such an idiot.  He rested his head on the counter again, wallowing in his own guilt like the selfish bitch he was.  He couldn’t even keep his own temper in check at home.

A hand touched his own and he shot up to snap when the mug he’d been holding was pulled out of his hands and replaced with a different one.  His eyes looked at it, barely taking in the pink coloring of it.  He squinted before he realized what it was and took a sip.  Sweet strawberry and kiwi rolled down his tongue and throat, ridding him of the bitter black he’d drank before.

“Better…?” A coo fills his ears.

Legend nods, picking his feet up and placing them on the chair with him, curling around his knees.  As he does so, he watches as a plate of four pancakes stacked from largest to smallest was set in front of him.  On top was maple syrup dripping down the sides, a large dollop of whipped cream curling on top with two strawberries, each cut into four parts, set just so in the cream.

His brain rewired itself, remembering he was home, back into routine, and he began to eat.  He didn’t care anymore, he was tired and hungry.  In fact, he was so, well, both of those things, that he took a large bite and immediately had to yawn after.

Voices murmured about him, leaving his ears to flick around to tune in, ultimately falling into a limp position when he couldn't register what was being said.  A gentle brown hand cupped the one that still clutched the new mug before pulling away, leaving him in peace.

As his plate was cleaned and he felt more alive, his senses came back to him.

“-re he’s always l-”

“-s, he just things to be th-”

“Same?  Why?”

Legend turned to look at Hyrule (no no no!  Don’t cry, Rulie!) and Ravio, who was holding the hands of the tanned teen.

“Same feels, well, safe, to put it simply.” Ravio coaxed.  “He doesn’t like change very much, which is why he’s so grumpy around you all.  We both like our schedules.”

“It feels wrong to stray from them.” Legend put in before walking over and taking one of Hyrule’s hands in his own, leaning into his brother’s side.  “Sorry I yelled, and swore, and made you upset.” He can’t meet those green eyes, letting his own train on their fingers wrapped together.  “I need the stability of a schedule.  Sure, being with you all has, changed it a bit, but, usually, you aren’t so loud so…”

“It was a change?”

“Yes.” Legend nodded.

“A bad change?”

“You could say that.”

Silence stretches between them before Hyrule is pressing back into Legend.

“Well, then I guess I’ll need to learn your schedule.”

Legend can only chuckle back.

“For the record,” Ravio interjects.  “His schedule starts with playing hide and seek with a bear.”

Legend’s cheeks flare and he sits up.  “I just turn a lot in my sleep!  I lose her sometimes!”

“A bear?” Hyrule looks between the two, confused.

“Who’s got a bear?” Wild perks up from the kitchen and hops over.

Legend wants to bury himself, he could feed the apple trees.

“Legend does, a stuffed bear.”

Legend wants to bury Ravio, he could feed his flowerbed

“Really?” Warriors looks over.  “I’ve never met this bear, what’s its name?”

“Willow, I believe.”

“Aww!  That’s a cute name!” Sky pipes in.

“So he plays hide and seek with it?” Hyrule still looks confused.

“He loses her and needs to figure out where she went when he wakes up.”

“Was the bear left here?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.” Wind scrambles into the conversation.

“Me either,” Four says thoughtfully from his perch on the counter.

“Maybe he’s hidden it?” Time says with a mischievous smirk.

“I’m sure Wolfie could find it.” Twilight smirks back, and soon all eyes are back on Legend.

Legend wants to bury everyone to feed his fruits and vegetables.