Work Text:
————
(Yoshi’s POV)
📱📱📱
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: Hello Yoshi-kun
Me 🐯: Hi boss
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: I won’t be around for a week so I
expect you to open and close the shop on time ok?
Me 🐯: But what about my classes?
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: I’ll get Jihoon to cover the morning
shift since he’s about done with his classes for this semester,
at least that’s what he told me
Me 🐯: Alright boss
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: And hey?
Me 🐯: Yeah boss?
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: I know you’re alone here but
try to make some friends ok?
Me 🐯: I thought you’re my friend, noona
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: I am but you gotta stop
being such a shy guy
Me 🐯: When are you leaving?
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: Tonight, but I’ll come by the shop to
give you the keys and other stuff
Me 🐯: OK noona.
I’m about to be done with my classes.
I should be able to come by soon
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: Are you gonna walk or take your bike?
Me 🐯: I brought my bike today
Lady Boss 🧝♀️: Good so I can expect you sooner
cos I still need to finish packing
Me 🐯: Sure noona, I’ll see you later
📱📱📱
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 1: 𝙰𝙻𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙳 ♫
“𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝´𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚊
𝚗𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎,
𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚝 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎?
𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚍?
𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚗´𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚐𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚗𝚎𝚠
𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚒 𝚍𝚘,
𝚒 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞.
𝚠𝚎´𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍.”
Hi, my name is Kanemoto Yoshinori. You can call me Yoshi. But the name on my work name tag spells Y-O-X-I.
Why is that? It’s my online name, and I like it that way. It sounds cooler. One day, when I get famous and people google about me, they won’t confuse me with that Mario green dino character.
I’m now in my second year of college. What did you say? What’s my degree? Believe it or not, I’m actually a law student. What am I doing in Korea instead of Japan? Well, that’s a long story, but to make it short—
“Hey, Yosh. What are you doing talking to yourself in the corner like that? Don’t be weirder than you already are.”
“Oh, it’s you Ji. Leave me alone, okay? I never complain when you skip serving the annoying customers and hide in the storeroom to video call your boyfriend—mmph!”
“Shh! Nobody knows I’m dating Sukkie-hyung! Keep it to yourself— oww! You bit me?? What are you, a 3 year old??”
”You deserve it,” I said as I wiped my lips with the back of my hand, smirking as Jihoon fussed and whined, making a show of rubbing his bitten palm like a big baby, stomping his feet and pouting excessively.
I swear to god, Jihoon was so annoying, and to make matters worse, he kept treating me as if we’re besties. I really didn’t care about having friends, I’m content with my current life, but Jihoon was just so persistent. Like a very cute, needy puppy. And right now, I just felt like taking a pink ribbon and put it in his long, shaggy hair. He even had it tied half up, to show off his piercings I suppose.
“Hey, Ji…,” I said as I scrutinized his face, counting the piercings he had on his ears and the single silver stud he had on his left nostril.
”Yeah?”
”Have you ever thought of getting a septum ring?”
”You mean like a cow?”
My head snapped up as I looked at him, I could feel my forehead creasing as my eyebrows raised incredulously.
“A cow?!”
Jihoon just looked at me as if I’m a daft child, crouching down to my level and said, “Well yeah, moo?” He then raised both index fingers behind his head, imitating a bovine and started mooing and tossing his hair. I would’ve fought him right there and then, but he looked so cute and ridiculous as he tried to plough me down that I couldn’t help but let out a shout of laughter.
“You ass…I’m gonna tell Rosé noona what you actually thought of her septum ring— ahh!”
”No, you won’t!” Jihoon playfully growled and he looped his arm around my neck as he tackled me down, tickling my sides. I really thought that I was about to be choked to death as we rolled on the grass…until a pair of high top Chuck Taylors in olive green suddenly materialized next to our faces. When the owner began to clear his throat, I couldn’t help but let my gaze climb slowly up those legs, clad in tight-fitting black ripped jeans.
I’m probably exaggerating, but the ascent took a while because he had such long, slender ones, and when I finally saw his face, frowning with arms crossed, white hood pulled over— leaving an unruly mess of bangs over his forehead, my cheeks couldn’t help but burn in mortification at the thought of him witnessing me being pinned down by my stupid friend and colleague.
Him.
Kim Junkyu.
My crush.
“Park Jihoon, you forgot to submit our group assignment again,” said Junkyu as he pouted, his eyebrows pulled together as he began tap tap tapping his foot while we scrambled to sit up, me pushing the heavy Jihoon off of my body as I straightened myself, and pulling out some stray grass from my hair as I tried to make myself more presentable.
”I have it here with me, Kyu. I was about to go to the lecturer’s lounge before I got wrestled down by this blonde cat—“
”Hey, don’t blame me. Also, you attacked me! What do you mean I wrestled you—“ but my mouth was quickly clamped by Jihoon again as he grinned while pulling both of us up.
“Anyway, Kyu, you know Yoshi, right? Second year law,” said Jihoon as he gestured to me, and what a way to suddenly freeze as I found myself slackened and stood there like an idiot. I probably didn’t move for a good five minutes until I felt Jihoon’s elbow in my ribs.
“Oww! What the fuck Ji—“ I was about to complain and scowled at my annoying friend when I suddenly felt my clammy right hand being engulfed by not one, but two strong hands, his fingers long and warm as they gripped mine.
“Hi, Yoshi,” said Junkyu and I berated myself for freezing up once again.
What on earth is wrong with you, Yoshinori!? Get a hold of yourself!
My eyes slowly shifted from the slender fingers around my own as they traveled towards his face. I probably gasped like the weirdo I am because the sunny smile that painted his lips, his rounded pink cheeks, and shining eyes completely blinded me that I’m pretty sure a part of myself melted as I stared.
“Yoshinori, buddy, you’re staring.”
”Eh? Oh, I-I’m sorry,” I stuttered. The sound of Jihoon’s voice successfully broke me out of my reverie, and I quickly snatched my hand away, which I immediately regretted— because Junkyu had this sad look in his eyes and he pouted as he withdrew his hand to put it in his pocket.
I was actually very shocked and embarrassed when Junkyu grabbed my hand. It was no doubt very wet because, number one, it was a hot day and I’m sweating buckets. Number two, I actually have this wet palm syndrome that makes me sweat even more whenever I’m stressed or embarrassed.
Junkyu then snapped at Jihoon, “Of course, I know him. I’ve seen him working with you at the record store. Also, Jihoon, you’re really wasting my time here. If you’re not gonna submit our assignment, then just pass it to me. I’ll submit it myself. You really do have so much free time, don’t you? Unlike working at a record store, I actually have a real job and I’m already late as it is because our lecturer wouldn’t stop texting me about how our group is the only one that didn’t submit on time—”
“Oh relax, Kyu. You’re such a prude. I’ll go talk to Mr. Jung right away.”
“But he was in a pissy mood and if your tardiness gets us a D, I will personally wring your neck—”
“Oh yeah? With what muscle?”
“Excuse me, Park Jihoon. I’ll have you know that I’ve been working out diligently, but unlike a certain someone, I don’t go around showing off my abs at everything that moves!”
“Ouch… you really do know how to hit right in the kokoro, Kim Junkyu.”
“That’s because you’re such an ass, Park Jihoon. Anyway, this has been very annoying and—” Junkyu glanced at his watch and realized the time and he started screeching but quickly clamped his mouth when he remembered that I was still there, witnessing his mental breakdown in the middle of the college lawn and he began to turn crimson.
“You and your dramatic ass, no need to yell like that. I already said that I would settle it—”
“No Paji, I’m so late! I’m supposed to clock in at 4 and it’s already 3:45 p.m.! I’m screwed! My boss is gonna kill me, and the train takes 30 mins to reach the cafe, and I still need to take the bus to get to the station, ugh—”
When Jihoon saw that Junkyu was about to go apoplectic at the prospect of clocking in late, he immediately grabbed me, who was witnessing the entire exchange with a confused expression, and pushed me as I barreled right into Junkyu, causing him to trip on his shoelaces and almost fall backwards. I was faster though, as I quickly caught him.
“You brought your bike today, right, Yosh? Why don’t you give Kyu a ride as well since you’re both heading to work?”
“Oh, o-okay,” I stuttered as I felt myself turning even redder, especially as I realized that I was actually holding Junkyu’s torso… and fuck, I could also feel the firm swell of his pecs…
“Um, aren’t you guys gonna let go anytime soon?” At Jihoon’s booming voice, we quickly broke apart and just stood there frozen, staring at each other in embarrassment before he continued, “Go on, you need to meet Rosé anyway before she leaves.”
Jihoon then leaned against me and whispered into my ear, “You don’t have to feel weirded out, you’ve already hugged him so hard just now, haha.”
My eyes almost popped out of their sockets when I heard what Jihoon said, but I didn’t deign to reply. In truth, I was literally screaming inside as I could still feel how toned Kyu’s abs was, and his chest…
Ugh, I could feel myself burning again and the very thought of having Junkyu right behind me on the bike in such close proximity, our bodies pressed close to each other truly made me want to hit my head against the wall.
“Guys, it’s getting late. You should go now,” Jihoon warned before muttering under his breath again so only I could hear— “Don’t be so obvious, Yosh. Also, thank me later,” he said before winking mischievously and waved us goodbye as he walked off to link his arms with a bleached blonde guy he spotted at the Computer Engineering Faculty building.
“Erm, come on, Junkyu. My bike’s this way.”
I then thought that Junkyu had an odd look on his face, but it was fleeting as he smiled his sunny grin again, revealing his dimples as he nodded, and we made our way towards the parking area. As we cut across the lawn, still walking, I started to have palpitations as I couldn’t believe that I was about to offer a ride to the very guy who caught my eye and was obsessed with for almost a year since I first set my eyes on him— way back when I first got accepted into the law program.
I was still new, and wasn’t that fluent in Korean language, but the first person I met at the enrollment office was Junkyu, who was so sweet and helped me out, even though he wasn’t as fluent in Japanese himself.
I actually came to Seoul because I wanted to be with my long time girlfriend, a Korean whom I met back in high school in my hometown of Kobe. When we graduated, the girl went back to Korea when her family relocated to Seoul. We were still in a long distance relationship, and I hadn't seen Karina for over a year since we parted, but she was my first love. We didn’t exactly drift apart since we kept in contact through FaceTime on the daily.
You could imagine my excitement when I got accepted into the law school of one of the most prestigious universities in South Korea, where Karina was also studying. I actually wanted to surprise her, I thought that I could finally move in with her, and go to college together since both of our families were also close to one another, so living together wouldn’t be a problem.
But after I managed to register and got all the necessary paperworks done, and walked into her kissing another girl, I realized that I was the only one who thought that we’re exclusive. Karina cried and tried to apologize for cheating, and blamed the long distance romance, but I felt stupid and heartbroken. I was pathetic, like an absolute fool.
We mutually decided to end it for good, but in my stupidity, we agreed to remain as fubus.
In the meantime, I got even more introverted and refused to make friends. I was content being by myself until that fateful day when I saw a vacancy signage at a neighborhood record store. I needed money to support myself, and there I met Rosé who quickly became my surrogate sister of sorts, and reluctant friends with Jihoon, who for some reason was really intrigued with me.
I then started to dabble in YouTube, sometimes playing my guitars and recommending obscure music I’ve discovered while working at the record store. It was quite pathetic really. I didn’t get much views, but there’s always a user who seemed to like all the music I recommended, and for some reason, we even managed to form a weird sort of friendship from replying to his comments and stuff. We became mutuals on Twitter, DM-ing each other and recommending music to one another.
I was happy to be in my own little world, I didn’t need any real friends, and the fact that the record store was next to the cafe where Junkyu worked made me even happier. I was happy to admire Junkyu from afar. I’ve never even entertained the thought of approaching Junkyu, ever.
I was just fine like this…until today.
I was still engrossed in my thoughts when I collided with a pair of pretty girls— Karina and Minjeong.
“Hey, Yoshi. I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” said Karina, smiling as she batted her eyelashes, her long black hair glinting under the sun as she flipped them away from her shoulders. “I left some of my stuff at your place—”
“We’ll talk later, Karina. I’m busy,” I cut her off as I walked faster, refusing to look at her as I saw Minjeong’s facial expression change from the corner of my eye, her lips curling in displeasure at the sight of me. Awkward!
“Oh, who’s this? You look familiar, have I seen you before?” said Karina.
Junkyu blinked, “You’re talking to me?”
“Yeah, who else? You’re cute,” said Karina flirtatiously as she openly admired Junkyu, appraising him from head to toe. I frowned, what’s wrong with her? Flirting so openly with two guys, one of them being myself— her ex, so blatantly right in front of her own girlfriend? How rude. But before Junkyu could answer, I revved my bike loudly, already had my helmet on.
“Let’s go, Junkyu,” I said curtly, unwilling to spend another second in this sticky situation as I held out an extra helmet for Junkyu to wear. Junkyu took the helmet and flashed an apologetic smile towards the girls before looking at the object in his hands and cocking his head to the side cutely and promptly pouted at me.
“I don’t know how to wear a helmet and I’ve never rode a bike before, Yoshi.”
I then bit my lips before pushing the visor up to look at Junkyu, and as I did that, I could feel my cheeks reddening again before I nodded.
“Okay, let me help you with that.”
When I reached out to put the half helmet on Junkyu, he suddenly fidgeted as he lifted his arms to firmly press the dome of the helmet down onto his head— causing me to accidentally brush my hand against his lips and cheeks. I couldn’t help but gasp inwards as they were so unexpectedly soft and fluffy, just like mochi and I had a hard time fastening the chin strap as my traitorous fingers just couldn’t stop trembling to my utmost mortification.
I didn’t want to dwell on it further, and so before I completely went into a nervous breakdown, I quickly flipped my visor down and steadied myself, staring ahead before looking over my shoulder towards Junkyu.
“Uhm… please h-hold tight, yeah? I’m gonna make sure that we’ll both reach on time.”
Junkyu didn’t reply but hummed instead, and I gasped for the umpteenth time today when I felt him push himself flush against my back, snaking his arms around my waist. I then made the mistake of looking at him through the side mirror— my heart slamming into my chest as I saw him glancing at the two girls, his lips curving into the most brilliant smile before resting his soft cheek against my back as we sped off.
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 2: 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙽´𝚃 𝙲𝚁𝚈 ♫
“𝚒 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝,
𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜,
𝚒 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝,
𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜,
𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚗´𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚢.”
(Junkyu’s POV)
This day couldn’t get any worse. Not only am I late to clock in to my shift today (no Yoshi for me to hitch a ride this time), but one of my colleagues who was supposed to work with me suddenly went on a sick leave, which only meant that I would be stuck manning the bar and be in charge of the back of house as well, with only another person to handle the till and customers.
It also didn’t help that today wasn’t as chill a day as I wanted it to be despite it being a weekday— the cafe I worked in was proving to be quite popular among its patrons, and being in a trendy strip in the middle of town also made the human traffic to the shop very high.
I hated humans, by the way. Well, not really hate, but as an introvert, I found their presence suffocating and tiring. Why did I join an F&B establishment if I hated human contact so much then, you may ask?
Well, it was precisely that deficiency of mine that brought me to my current predicament of having to indulge in human interaction on the daily. Honestly, I’m just fine being a socially repressed homebody— I’m actually the happiest at home where I have my games, my programming, and my music, all within reachable distance in the confines of my room.
I simply didn’t need any human interaction. I actually had enough money to just survive in the little pocket world of my beloved bedroom, but my mom was adamant that I should go out of my comfort zone and try to make some friends.
As a result of that, my parents had completely cut off my pocket money, so besides the expenses needed to pay the rent of my ridiculously expensive condo in Gangnam and the utility bills, I was forced to take a part-time job if I were to feed myself. They even took away my Bugatti Veyron so I had no choice but to travel around with public transportation.
I really didn’t mind, though, because I wanted to keep a low profile in uni. I just refused to be surrounded by admirers and leeches like how I had to endure during my high school days when I was enrolled in one of the most expensive and prestigious private schools in Seoul.
I supposed I was also punished because my parents disapproved of my enrollment choice when I decided to pursue my love for gaming in the form of computer engineering and programming instead of their preferred choice of finance or business related studies, (I had secretly applied and only informed my parents when I got the offer and submitted my acceptance letter). Needless to say, they literally threw a fit!
But since I’m an only child, their precious little golden boy, my chaebol parents allowed it anyway, but they took away my money instead, forcing their otherwise kind of spoiled baby boy to earn on my own and in hopes that I would finally open up to human interaction. I guess I was just born weird. But who cares? I certainly didn’t.
And so one day, when I was walking all alone and lamenting about my life without my own pocket money, and no credit cards whatsoever, I saw two vacancy signs side by side— a record store and a coffee shop.
I was about to walk into the record store (I really didn’t fancy the idea of having to serve snobby customers) when I heard the familiar, loud, and annoying laughter of my coursemate, Park Jihoon, who was flipping LPs and playing some loud punk songs at the cash register.
”Oh, hey, Junkyu! What are you doing here?”
”Park Jihoon.” I said as I grimaced, he’s just so loud and overly friendly that I’m just super annoyed whenever I’m in his presence.
”Oh, who’s this, Jihoon?”
”Noona, this is my coursemate and friend, Kim Junkyu.”
”Hi, Junkyu. I’m Rosè and I’m the owner of this establishment. What brings you to my humble shop?”
“Oh, hello, Rosè-ssi—“
”Shush, just call me noona. Any friend of Jihoon is a friend of mine.”
“He’s not my friend, that’s just his one-sided delusion,” I muttered under my breath.
“Mmm…what did you say, Junkyu?” Rosè asked with a puzzled expression on her pretty face, her head cocked to the side as her curly blonde ringlets bounced upon her slim shoulders.
“Nothing important, Rosè-ssi…oops, noona,” I replied as I gave her the most brilliant smile I could muster. “Anyway, I saw that vacancy sign outside and I was wondering if you still need one—“
“Oh, Junkyu, if only you were a few hours earlier. We already hired someone— ah, here he is.”
I turned my head to the stickers and poster-covered glass door, and my heart almost stopped when I saw the guy I’ve been obsessing with ever since I first saw him at the enrollment office.
“Kanemoto Yoshinori,” I gasped.
God, to think that I actually gasped like an idiot when I saw his unreal face, his blonde fluffy hair had gotten longer than when I first saw him at the enrollment office. He had more piercings now, and so many necklaces adorning his neck— he can literally rival Hyunsuk-hyung! Do they even allow this kind of display in the law faculty?? He looked more like a rock star than a budding lawyer! Also, he had bright red hair when I first met him… and I hadn’t seen him since… until today.
It was only when Yoshi actually stared at me in confusion or disgust—I didn’t know, I was simply too mortified for saying his name out loud—that I quickly left the shop like the weirdo I was, ignoring Jihoon’s calls as I sped out of the store.
When I finally caught a hold of myself, I was already standing in front of the serving counter of the coffee shop next door, the manager and barista working there looking at me in shock because I was panting and sweating like I finished a marathon— the vacancy poster crumpled in my grip as I blurted, “I need this job. Hire me, now.”
***
Back to the present, I was busy sorting out the trash in the kitchen, grumbling to myself as I tied up the trash bags, sorting out the recyclables from the yucky garbage. To make matters worse, I was also in a bad mood because of what I saw last night on YouTube, when Yoshi was live-streaming his record picks of the day.
I was actually a follower of Yoshi’s channel, and I had been following him for almost a year to be honest. While the blonde was reviewing some songs, I then heard a girl’s voice and a shadow with long hair, and Yoshi quickly turned off his livestream then. I was really sad when I saw that and my immediate thought was that Yoshi was back together with his ex.
Yes, I knew all about Yoshi’s relationship because I had actually struck an unlikely online friendship with the guy, anonymously of course, only knowing each other by our respective Twitter handles: @yoxi and @notshinnosuke.
To tell you the truth, we had been talking to each other for almost a year, pouring each other’s heart out in the process. I guess you could say that what we had was cute, but to me, it was a sad relationship— one built on illusions and anonymity, and although I thought dearly of Yoshi, I knew the guy harbored no feelings whatsoever towards me.
I fancied myself in love with Yoshinori, but I was just too cowardly to confront and confess. What if I got rejected? What if revealing myself to Yoshi as his online “friend” brought him nothing but sadness?
What if upon knowing who I really was, Yoshi feels betrayed? That I was exhibiting stalker-like behavior?
I sometimes shed solitary tears in my bedroom as I pondered upon this. I hated the fact that I had finally managed to open up to someone, somebody I was able to connect to with all my heart and soul but only under the guise of internet fallacy.
And so, when it was time for my break, I took the trash out back, fully intending to go and browse some music at the record store and maybe catch a glimpse of Yoshi if he’s there. At that point, I didn’t even mind if it’s the annoying Jihoon who’s on duty, I just wanted to escape the cafe and the smell of coffee. It’s funny how I’d been working at the coffee shop for over a year when I hated coffee so much, but the customers always complimented my brewing despite my distaste for the drink. My colleague, Dobby, even joked that it was my bleak and bitter outlook on life that made the coffee taste so good.
Anyway, I was just minding my own business, dragging three bags of trash to dump them in the big bin in the back lane when I saw Yoshi squatting, his back towards me as he took a long drag, puffing out smoke rings one after another, his tattooed biceps flexing as he leaned against the wall…his shaggy blonde hair obscured under a reversed snapback.
As I stood there transfixed at his form, I thought he looked so cool in his cut-off oversized tee, the arm holes so large I could almost see Yoshi’s rippled and tattooed abs— and I promptly choked as I imagined myself being crushed against the wall by the guy I was obsessed with, letting him do whatever he wanted with my body.
I then bit my lips hard as I contemplated on striking up a conversation with Yoshi, as I noticed Yoshi bobbing his head to the music surely blasted under his headphones. I began to wipe my hands against my apron, trying to steel my nerves, forming words in my head on how to finally approach my crush as I closed my eyes and heaved a deep breath.
I slapped my cheeks to hype myself up, and I forced my legs to move forward— finally opening my eyes when I suddenly saw a long-haired girl burst through the back door of the record store, hugging Yoshi from behind.
My heart clenched so hard then, as I gritted my teeth and turned away from the scene I refused to see, slamming the door of the cafe in my wake, startling the couple as they whirled to look at me.
Unbeknownst to me, had I waited a minute longer, I would’ve seen the shocked look on Yoshi’s face, which later morphed into sadness and disappointment as he watched my back disappear into the cafe.
“Hey, Junkyu-hyung. Back so soon? You still have another 20 minutes of break,” my colleague and fellow barista, Dobby, then looked at me in puzzlement as I brushed past him in the kitchen. I grabbed a folding chair and sat in the corner, facing the wall as I flipped out my phone from the apron pocket, my face surely red and burning now.
”Hyung?” Dobby said softly as he put a warm hand gingerly on my shoulder, but I just couldn’t look at him. I tried to calm myself down by looking at cat videos online, swiping through them mindlessly as I tried my hardest to ignore Dobby. I was simply too angry by what I saw, but most of all, I was just sad.
“Kyu-hyung, are you alright? I don’t mean to pry, but why are you crying? Did something happen?” Dobby then reached out to grab a roll of kitchen towel from the counter, tearing a piece away from the roll as he pressed it into my jittery hands.
I really didn’t trust myself to talk, but Dobby was just standing there stubbornly, determined to know why I was acting like this. I knew the moment I opened my mouth, I wouldn’t be able to stop my voice from breaking. But he was still there and I knew that I didn’t have a choice.
“Nothing, Dobby. Nothing at all. It’s just my one-sided delusion.” I then turned to face Dobby, tears now pooling in the corners of my eyes as I squeezed them into crescents, and began to forcefully laugh out loud, just like my favorite anime character Nohara Shinnosuke, “HA HA HA!”
Dobby just looked at me, he probably didn’t understand what’s going on, but I could see what he was thinking. His face was just too animated to hide his own feelings and I knew that his heart sank as he watched me bite my trembling lips.
”I’m not crying, Dobby. I’m laughing, see? ‘Cause boys don’t cry.”
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 3: 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝚁𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙼𝙰𝙽 ♫
“𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚐𝚘 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝
𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗´𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛
𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚒𝚝´𝚜 𝚐𝚛𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎
𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚎
𝚊 𝚓𝚞𝚖𝚙𝚎𝚍-𝚞𝚙 𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚢
𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎
𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍, “𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐”
𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜”
(Yoshi’s POV)
I was sorting out the new arrivals from the used records when Junkyu suddenly burst into the record store and headed straight to Jihoon.
We had overlapping schedules today, so we had some time to help each other out with the sorting and also to discuss an upcoming gig that we’re both involved in. We’re in a punk rock band together, well, leaning more towards post punk as Jihoon was really into Joy Division and New Order, while I’m just obsessed with The Cure and The Clash, among others. Call us anglified, but that’s just the way it was.
The “gig” we were talking about was really just us messing around with our instruments in the record store, Jihoon on vocals and bass while I’m on guitar. We were lucky when we discovered that Jihoon’s coursemate senior, Hyunsuk was also a drummer— the blonde haired, heavily accessorized guy with crazy eyeshadow was twirling his drumsticks while eating a bag of caramelized popcorn on the sidewalk— a fresh cup of iced long black he grabbed from the cafe next door perched precariously next to him as he sat without a care on the grass, drumming in the air in rhythm to the beat thumping in his AirPods.
It only took me to say, “Look, isn’t that Choi Hyunsuk sunbaenim? Maybe we can ask him to be our drummer?”
I was only half-heartedly joking when I blurted that out, and how my eyes almost popped out of their sockets when Jihoon immediately dashed out of the record store to squat in front of the guy across the street.
“Hyunsuk-hyung, will you be our drummer?”
At least that was what I thought he said as I squinted against the glass door, pressing my face flat against the surface as I tried to read his lips between all those band stickers plastered all over.
I then surmised that Jihoon must be pretty convincing as not only did we found ourselves a gifted drummer for our budding post punk band, I also stumbled upon them fucking noisily against the cabinets in the storage room during the mullet haired brunette’s lunch break a week later, and their cheeky announcement that they’re together by the end of the second week of us playing as a full three-piece band.
I sighed heavily then when I remembered that extremely embarrassing moment as I totally ran out of the shop, my heart not only palpitating heavily, I was also getting turned on like a bloody voyeur! Ugh!
I could only dream of having a shred of confidence that Jihoon had in abundance, for when Junkyu stomped his way into the shop to smack his palms on the counter, it was all I could do not to drop the stack of vinyls I was carrying because my hands suddenly became so wet from sweat. Damn my hyperhydrosis!
“Kuso, what a stupid ailment to have,” I cursed under my breath as I stole furtive glances at Junkyu, who was currently speaking in pouts as he continued to nag at Jihoon regarding their annoying lecturer, who dared to give them such a short notice to submit their proposal or something of the sort.
“Okay, okay, Kyu…you already complained about this in our group chat, yet you still drag your ass here to repeat the same thing again! Gimme a break.”
“Well, everybody in the group replied except you!” Junkyu puffed his cheeks and pouted even more as he stood there, his hands firmly digging into his waist, his foot tapping in annoyance. “Besides, I’m on my break. I can do whatever I want and go wherever I please!”
Jihoon just gawked at his petulance as he shook his head, rolling his eyes as he chose an LP to listen to. There were no customers in the store, to my relief, as I’m really not in the mood to human today, especially when Junkyu was in such close proximity.
I still remembered what happened yesterday when Karina suddenly came to the shop and into the back lane without any warning and hugged me. I didn’t know why she did that, I told her specifically not to come find me at work, I didn’t want anyone to find out about us, especially when she was so openly obvious about her relationship with Minjeong. Only three people besides my family knew of our history together, well… three people that mattered anyway: Rosé-noona, Jihoon (because he’s my self-professed bestie), and my dear online buddy, @notshinnosuke.
My heart sank when I saw Junkyu disappearing into the cafe when Karina startled me then. Did he see us? I really hoped not, I didn’t want him to think that I’m seeing anyone, especially when I’ve been gathering my courage to ask him out one day.
But would that day ever come?
I was lost in my thoughts when Jihoon suddenly blasted The Smiths’ “This Charming Man” on full volume, startling me when Johnny Marr’s heavenly riffs entered my heavily occupied consciousness.
“Oh shit!” I cursed as I was about to drop the vinyls in my arms again when a pair of strong arms swiftly caught me, causing me to let out an undignified yelp.
“Be careful, Yoshi-kun. Those are priceless first pressings, aren’t they? Let me help you.”
My brain first registered the information that Junkyu was holding me tightly around the waist. Secondly, his brown eyes were very large as they peered into my own blue ones (I’m wearing contacts, duh). And thirdly, he smelled so good. So fucking good that I may collapse right there and then as I inhaled his scent slowly.
He smelled so fresh, like a mix of some citrusy, woody… and eucalyptus, maybe? I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but yeah. He smelled so good that it took all of my self-control to stop myself from leaning in and inhaling into his neck like an absolute pervert.
“Uh, oh… th-thank you, Junkyu-san,” I breathed, my heart thundering loudly in my ears as I felt my entire body burning. He’s so hot, and so handsome that I could just die—
“Kim Junkyu, can you please let go of my guitarist before he passes out?”
Jihoon’s booming voice made us jump apart, but Junkyu recovered faster— grabbing half of my burden before he started to sort them out according to alphabetical order, plopping down on a chair as he lifted his eyes and beckoned to me, “Let me help you, Yoshi-kun. I still have a bit more time before my break ends.”
I felt my legs move automatically on its own before sitting next to him, spreading the first pressings on the long table before whipping out a list of the record prices (ridiculously priced, of course, one of Rosé-noona’s tactics to avoid sales). When my fingers accidentally brushed against his own long slender ones, the static shock was so great that I immediately stood up, knocking my knees against the underside of the table as I winced in pain and also absolute embarrassment.
“I-I need to go to the b-bathroom!” I mumbled before sprinting to the back. I’m so stupid, but I just couldn’t be in his presence, I may get a heart attack the longer I stay there, and so I shut myself in the toilet, turning on the water from the tap, which was now running freely into the sink, as I cursed myself into oblivion.
I then took out my phone as I slammed the lid of the toilet seat down, opening the bird app (now absurdly christened as X, what the fuck) and sat on the covered seat. I truly had nobody to confide in, well, at least no one in full flesh and blood. But I did have someone, my closest confidant, the one presence I would pour my heart and soul to, even though we’d never seen each other before, nor had we ever found the need to share our likeness with each other.
My bestest friend in the whole wide web (and world), and I smiled when I saw his pfp, a cute animated character with wiggly worm eyebrows exposing his buttocks— @notshinnosuke.
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
@yoxi 🐯: Shin-chan, yr there?
Shinnosuke?
Jjanggu?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Hey Yox
@yoxi 🐯: Where have you been?
I haven’t seen you online for quite some time
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Well, I’ve been a bit busy
with classes and work.
Life in general I guess…
@yoxi 🐯: Oh, okay. Anyway, guess where
I am right now, lol
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Hmm…
The record store toilet?
@yoxi 🐯: Wait, what?? How do you know that??
Do you have superpowers or something??
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Hahaha. Maybe?
Why? You’re scared?
You think I’m stalking you? 😏
@yoxi 🐯: Ofc not. Are you??
@notshinnosuke 🐨: What if I am?
What will you do?
Will you hate me?
@yoxi 🐯: Shin-chan, I could never hate you.
You’re my bff. But I’ll be hurt if you’re
near and you never even say hi.
Wait, are you in the store right now?
But we don’t have any customers…
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I’m just joking ok. You’re
so pure & innocent sometimes Yox,
it drives me insane 🤯
Anyway, my break is almost over.
I’ll talk to you later k?
@yoxi 🐯: Naurrrr… so soon?
But we just managed to chat. It’s been so long.
I’ve missed you ☹️
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I miss you too but
I really need to get back to work now.
There are so many customers too.
I’ll talk to you on the train, yeah?
@yoxi 🐯: Hmm… it’s also almost my break time.
Okay, promise me that you won’t ghost 👻 me again?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I won’t. Ttyl Yox.
@yoxi 🐯: Matta ne. 👋
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
(Junkyu’s POV)
I suppose I should’ve gotten offended when Yoshi just ran away to lock himself in the bathroom while we were sorting out the records earlier. No, I wasn’t offended. Not really.
I was saddened.
I’ve really thought a lot about it, wanting to confess I mean. I really wanted to do it, I would be lying if I say that the thought never crossed my mind.
Of course it did. In fact, every single day.
It tore me apart knowing that I’m literally just one wall away from him, and to make things worse, I see him every day too. At least twice a day— whenever I worked at the back of house, I would see him taking a smoke break, and sometimes I found him playing with the stray cats. He was something of a cat whisperer, the cats just flock to him like rats to the Pied Piper of Hamelin. Nothing dirty like in the fable, of course, but there was something endearing to him, his calm and soft demeanor, his gentle way of baby talking the kitties made my heart clench so hard as I found myself falling deeper into my yearnings for him. The parallelism between me and the rats and cats didn’t just stop there. As the hours of us being just next to each other grew longer, stretching from days to months, I found that I was the one being lured towards him— and his constant dependency on me as his online buddy only made the heartache worse.
I knew he only saw me as a friend, a confidant, and god help me, but I truly wanted to be so much more than that.
I knew everything about him. His deepest darkest secrets, his year-long crush on this guy from our university, whom I refused to probe into as it only served to make me even more broken than I already am. I also knew of his fubu relationship with his ex, how the girl was constantly in and out of his life even when she was in a serious relationship of her own. I knew of his taste in music, I even knew all the songs he planned to cover for his band because I’ve practiced them on my own, wanting to feel as close to him as I could. I knew his hopes and dreams, his heartaches and failures.
So what’s stopping me from confessing then, you ask?
It’s precisely all of these. How would he react if he knew that I’m his online bestie all along? If I were him, I would be disgusted and sickened. I practically worked in this cafe because I wanted to be close to him. I am friends (sort of, with reluctance, by the way) with his colleague and bandmate. If all of these didn’t amount to me displaying stalker-like behavior, then what does?
It was so hard for me to finally make a connection with another human being, I was a loner for so long. What if my confession to him costs me his friendship? I could not bear it. I wouldn’t be able to.
So I held it in, pushed it deep inside so it wouldn’t ever resurface.
I am content like this, just admiring him from afar and enjoying his virtual affections.
I told myself that I would be okay.
“Hyung? We need someone to make the V60. There’s an order that just came in.”
Dobby’s voice effectively broke me out of my thoughts and I quickly looked up to him as I fastened my apron on. Glancing at my watch, I noticed that it was already 5 p.m., and my heart began to race again as I pushed the saloon doors open, smoothing my hair down as I tried to make myself presentable.
I knew exactly who ordered the most expensive beans that we have in the house, without fail, every single day like clockwork at exactly 5 p.m. He would come sauntering in through the front door, whether he’s in his layered multicolored clothes, army green bomber jackets, shorts, cargos, or even tartan kilts layered over ripped jeans.
Blonde-haired, blue-eyed, piercings over his right ear all the way to the cartilage, and of course, his tattoos which I sometimes got a glimpse of whenever he put on his crop tops or his DIY cut-off tees.
Kanemoto Yoshinori was sitting at the corner booth, in direct line of sight to my drip coffee station, a sketchbook in hand as he bobbed his head along to whatever music he’s blasting through his AirPods Max in orange.
”What a cool guy,” I whispered to myself as I measured 200 mg of Finca Isabel Farm’s Bourbon varietal coffee beans, hailing all the way from Bolivia. I then hand-grounded them, steeped them in 310 ml of water, previously boiled at 95°C as I hand-poured it meticulously in short circular motions, continuously over two minutes. The entire process took me over four minutes in total as I made sure the beans were flat and not conically inverted.
I took a whiff at the end product as I poured it from the crystal decanter into a clear double-walled glass, making sure not a drop was spilled nor wasted. I stole a glance at him and I wasn’t sure if I imagined it, but I thought for a split second that Yoshi was actually staring at me, his piercing blue eyes looking right into my soul.
“Look, he’s staring at you again, hyung!” Dobby whispered in my ear, making me jump as he breezed his way to the industrial fridge behind me, grabbing a carton of cold milk.
I quickly grabbed a paper towel to wipe the decanter clean for there was still some excess coffee in it, trying to act nonchalant even though my cheeks were currently burning at Dobby’s words. I busied myself making the coffee presentable and reached for a jar of almond biscotti to serve the coffee with.
“I really think he likes you, hyung. Do you know that he’s been coming here everyday, and ordering the same thing during his breaks just to stare at you?”
I just clicked my tongue impatiently as I grabbed an extra shot glass for the excess coffee.
“Nah, he’s probably into you, Dobby,” I said dismissively but I’m not gonna lie, if what Dobby said was true, I would be over the moon. But I wouldn't get my hopes up because I knew the truth.
Dobby frowned as he crossed his arms over his apron, red lips pulled into a pout as he said indignantly, “No, he is not! Besides, even if he is, I’m not interested. Not when my own boyfriend is the handsomest in the whole wide world.”
I then snorted at his announcement as I raised an eyebrow while turning to look at my colleague who was now shoving his phone and pointing its wallpaper into my face.
“Just look at Haruto, hyung! You’re comparing Kanemoto-san to my Watanabe-kun? You must be joking.”
And I rolled my eyes as I swore Dobby’s eyes turned into little pink hearts before he kissed his bloody phone and I fake gagged. “You guys are so cringy, yuck.” I stuck my tongue out at him as I put everything I prepared on a serving tray, muttering under my breath as I left Dobby, “Yoshi-kun is an angel.”
Dobby must’ve heard what I said as he hollered before disappearing into the kitchen, “Well, at least mine’s taller!”
I shook my head in annoyance at Dobby’s competitiveness, feeling slightly jealous at my dongsaeng’s complete infatuation with his boyfriend as I walked slowly towards my own unrequited love.
When I reached to slide the tray on his table, Yoshi was still sketching furiously— until my fingers accidentally brushed against his own, making him jump and yelp as he noticed me standing there as I was serving him his coffee. He snapped his sketchbook shut and quickly shoved it in his bag as he pulled the headphones down around his neck, resting it upon his shoulders.
”H-Hi, Junkyu!”
His voice was high pitched and strained, as if he was extremely shocked to see me there, and I could see sweat beading on his forehead and his cheeks turned bright red.
How cute, I thought.
I bit my lips as I tried not to giggle at how flustered he looked, Yoshi was seriously so attractive that I could just sit and stare at him for hours and I would never get bored, I’m sure of it.
“Hi, Yoshi-kun. Here’s your order—”
“Uhm…Y-Yoshi.”
I tilted my head as I frowned slightly, “What? My name is Junkyu.”
“N-No. Yoshi. Call me Yoshi. We’re the same age. No need to call me with honorifics, Junkyu,” Yoshi stuttered as he looked up to me, his blue eyes widened as he stared into my face.
It was my turn to blush instead. What the hell? How can this guy be so damn adorable? It was as if I didn’t just spend my entire break sitting next to him sorting out the records earlier. I think I’m gonna pass out the longer I stay near him, ugh!
It’s so funny how eloquent and comfortable he was online, but in real life, he’s so painfully shy that even the slightest conversation made him break out in cold sweat and blush so fiercely. He was only comfortable whenever he’s with Jihoon, or his boss, Rosé-noona. And I wanted so badly to have him be at ease in my presence.
“Alright, Yoshi,” I smiled at him as I pushed a handwritten card explaining the beans we used. “So, today you’re having Bolivia’s bourbon variety beans that have undergone natural processing. The tasting profiles are blackberry, cocoa, dried cherry, and pineapple.”
I then took a shot glass that I’d previously prefilled with the same whole beans and let it angle at 45° under Yoshi’s nose.
“Can you smell them?”
Yoshi blushed even harder now, as he lifted his eyes to peer at me under his long eyelashes, taking a very deep breath as he inhaled.
“I-I’m not so sure, Junkyu. I smell something nice, but I can’t exactly pinpoint the profile you just described.”
”Okay, I’ll give you a tip. It’s just like smelling wine. First, you pull the glass away from your face by about a half-inch, open your mouth slightly, and then breathe in and out gently through your mouth and nose at the same time. Got it? Here, you try.”
I then passed the shot glass to him, but he suddenly wrapped his fingers around mine, they’re pretty wet and I almost gasped out loud as my hands trembled, but Yoshi just held my hand tighter. When I glanced at him in confusion and surprise, he brought our hands closer and repeated what I told him earlier, his gaze never straying from mine.
When he inhaled and exhaled with both his mouth and nose, I felt his breath on my skin, and despite its warmth, I felt a shiver running down my spine. He then smiled toothily, his eyes crinkled into crescents before licking his lips. I swore I was about to faint right there and then, but he spoke merrily, his eyes dancing with joy, and I felt myself drowning.
”You’re right, Junkyu. It really worked. I could smell chocolate and cherries.”
”I-I’m glad you did Yoshi. Uhm…I gotta go now and c-clean up my station. Please enjoy your coffee, Yoshi. S-Sorry to interrupt your drawing earlier.”
I wanted to hit my head for stuttering, but I couldn’t help it, my heart was close to bursting and all I could hear was my own heartbeat in my ears. In my haste, I snatched the serving tray from the table and turned to flee, but then Yoshi again stalled me, catching me by the wrist and I whirled to look at him.
”W-Wait, Kyu. Uhm, can I call you Kyu? Jihoon called you that right?”
I blinked several times, trying to process this unexpected development, but I’m pretty sure my system was on the verge of shutting down. I then smiled widely as I looked at him, I hope I looked sane enough and not like an extremely deprived lovefool as I nodded enthusiastically.
“Y-Yeah. Yeah, you can. Call me Kyu, that is… if you want,” I stuttered shyly as I fidgeted. I didn’t know how to react. This was the first time Yoshi ever talked to me, let alone touch me on his own volition. His strong fingers were still wrapped tightly around my right wrist and I could feel myself growing warmer by the minute. I bit my lips to stop them from trembling so much and reached up to tuck a stray hair behind my left ear.
”I-Is there anything else I can help you with?” I ventured as Yoshi also seemed to have zoned out, still clutching my wrist. My eyes darted from our joined hands to his eyes and Yoshi then seemed to finally snap out of his trance, blushing furiously as he let go of me. He then wiped his hands nervously on his cargo shorts, smoothing his cut off t-shirt before pulling down his beanie until it almost touched his thin, bleached eyebrows.
“Do you want to join me? There are no other customers and you made extra coffee anyway. I want to ask you something.”
I felt my eyes bulging out when I heard what he said and I looked around the cafe, and it’s true, the cafe was quiet and Dobby had gone to the back so I’m pretty much free to sit and chat. I unconsciously hugged the serving tray close to my chest as I mulled over his request.
“Let me just check with my manager and get back to you, yeah?”
He just nodded while smiling shyly, and I ran to the back to get my manager’s permission before I slid into the seat opposite him.
“What do you wanna ask me, Yoshi?”
”We’re having a gig tomorrow at the record store, just a small get together with our friends to celebrate Joy Division’s 46th anniversary of their album, Unknown Pleasures. So we’re gonna play songs from that album and also other British post punk bands.”
Yoshi was so excited when he talked about his interests that his entire face lit up, it was such a joy to see him so open and animated— it took every single particle of my cells not to jump and squeeze him in a hug. And maybe kiss him too.
God, I wanna kiss him so badly. Those pretty rosebud lips…his heavy-lidded cat eyes—
“You’re coming right?”
“C-Coming?!”
What the fuck? I was only fantasizing of kissing him, why was he asking if I was …ohh! It took me a moment to finally realize that he’s asking me out.
“Eh, what?”
”N-No, uh, I mean, you were saying?”
“You’re coming to the gig with me right?”
I then decided to be flirty and put my hand over his, the multiple rings he wore felt warm under my skin.
”Are you asking me out on a date, Yoshi?”
Yoshi looked taken aback and I immediately cringed internally for my forwardness and I quickly pulled my hand away, but he was faster, making me gasp as he squeezed me.
”What if I am? Will you come and watch me perform?”
”S-Sure. Yeah, it’s a date then.”
”Great!” I watched him sigh in relief as he smiled and then turned to rummage through his tote bag, pulling out a stack of tickets and pushing three pieces onto the table.
“I-I like Unknown Pleasures. I love Joy Division. I'll be glad to come and watch you on stage, Yoshi. It’s my day off tomorrow, but I’ll be there.”
I then began to hum under my breath, “I’ve been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand…”
He heard me and began to smile widely, his nose scrunched cutely as I saw shadows of double dimples I never knew he had adorning his cheeks.
”Hey, you do know Joy Division! Oh, I’m so glad to know that. Ahh, but don’t laugh at me if I mess it up, I’m really still a beginner at guitar—“
”No, don’t sell yourself short, Yoshi. I’m sure you’ll do great.”
”Thanks, Kyu. You really made me happy today. Anyway, my break is almost over and I’d better get back to the shop before Paji yells at me for being late. Here are the tickets for tomorrow, on the house. Bring your friends too.”
”Oh, but I don’t have any friends,” I pouted as I dropped my gaze to my nails, feeling embarrassed by my sudden confession of not having any.
“What do you mean you don’t have any friends, hyung?” Dobby suddenly piped in as he squeezed himself between me and Yoshi, crossing his arms indignantly as he threw a hurt look my way.
“Am I not a friend? Haruto too? That hurts you know.”
I then pursed my lips before sighing, “Yeah, okay, Dobby, you’re my friend. But Haruto is your boyfriend, how is he my frie—“
Dobby quickly cut in while gathering the cups and plates on the table, “Well, all of my friends are Watanabe-kun’s friends. Do you wanna be friends with us, Kanemoto-san?”
Yoshi just stood there with his mouth hanging open, completely flabbergasted by Dobby’s bluntness, but he quickly grinned.
“Sure, Dobby-kun. And since we’re now friends, you can call me Yoshi.”
“Yay, I’m so glad we’re all friends now, Yoshi-hyung. I’ll be there at your gig tomorrow with Haruto. But I’m sure Junkyu-hyung wants to be more than fr—“
I quickly yanked Dobby to my side as I clamped his mouth, he was now struggling like a monkey as I pushed him into the kitchen before smiling sheepishly at Yoshi.
“Dobby is a bit crazy so just ignore him, Yoshi. I’ll see you tomorrow, and thanks again for the invite!”
Yoshi was about to say something, but he decided not to and just waved at me as he let himself out.
As for me, I just wanted to grab a pillow and scream into it.
***
(Yoshi’s POV)
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
@yoxi 🐯: You said you’re gonna text me
when you’re on the train but you
never did 🥺
Hello. You there?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I got caught up
with some errands.
Sorry Yox
@yoxi 🐯: Are you avoiding me?
It feels like you are
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Why would you
think that?
@yoxi 🐯: I dunno. You just seemed…
different.
@notshinnosuke 🐨: You can’t even see my
face right now. How can you
even tell, lol
@yoxi 🐯: Ok ok, I’m just being a paranoid
android I guess 🤖
Haha, geddit?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: ofc I do.
That’s a cool song.
@yoxi 🐯: Speaking of songs, did you watch
that livestream I did when I was
reviewing Pixies’ Doolittle album?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I did. But then you went
offline so suddenly
@yoxi 🐯: Oh…yeah, I did, didn’t I
@notshinnosuke 🐨: It was Karina right?
@yoxi 🐯: I… how did you know?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Doesn’t matter.
Are you guys together again?
Why do you keep doing this to yourself?
Don’t you know that she’s
just toying with you?
@yoxi 🐯: No, no Shin-chan you got it wrong.
We really broke up this time.
@notshinnosuke 🐨: But you guys are still fubus.
Isn’t she serious with her girlfriend?
Why are you doing this, Yox?
@yoxi 🐯: But you don’t understand, Shin.
I have my needs, and she has hers.
We just help each other out.
I just… get so lonely sometimes
@notshinnosuke 🐨: If you think you’re lonely then
how do you think Minjeong must’ve felt?
She’s as much a victim are you are Yoxi
@yoxi 🐯: Look Shin, I’m not here to talk
about my problems
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Okay.
I’m sorry for caring.
@yoxi 🐯: Shin…you know I don’t
mean it that way.
Anyway, tomorrow’s your birthday
right? I got you a present. I left
it at the usual place.
Happy birthday in advance 🎂🥳🎉
@notshinnosuke 🐨: You remembered.
I…I don’t know what to say.
Thank you Yox 🥺
@yoxi 🐯: Ofc I do. You’re my bestie.
And I love you.
Ofc I’ll remember your bday and get you presents
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I… thank you, Yox.
I love you too. Bestie.
@yoxi 🐯: Anyway, you’re gonna love it.
It’s from Japan. Something I know you’ll
really like. As thx for always supporting me
and being my only friend.
@notshinnosuke 🐨: You really didn’t have to
@yoxi 🐯: But I really want to 🥺
Btw, we have a gig tomorrow night at the
record store I’m working at.
Wanna come?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I’m not sure if I’m ready
to meet you
@yoxi 🐯: Don’t be like that, Shin.
Let’s meet
@notshinnosuke 🐨: How will I recognize you?
@yoxi 🐯: I’m blonde & the guitarist of my
band. Bring the gift.
I’ll find you 😉
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Are you sure?
I’m shy. Also, won’t your campus crush
be jealous if he sees
you with me?
@yoxi 🐯: I doubt it. He doesn’t
even know I exist
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Yeah right.
I seriously doubt that.
A handsome guy like you’ll be able
to get anybody he wants
@yoxi 🐯: LMAO.
You don’t even know how I
look like. 😒
@notshinnosuke 🐨: You’re blonde, tattooed, in a band.
I’m sure you’re very good looking.
@yoxi 🐯: That’s not a very convincing way to describe
someone as attractive haha 🤣🤣
Anyway, let’s meet up alright?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Okay ☺️
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 4: 𝙷𝙴𝚈, 𝙱𝙴𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝚁𝚈𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙴𝙴𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 ♫
“𝚑𝚎𝚢, 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞
𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚞𝚜
𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍
𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛
𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚍
𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚢
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗?
𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘 𝚒 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚒𝚎
𝚠𝚎´𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍”
(Junkyu’s POV)
I woke up today feeling the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. But I’m also conflicted and scared. What do you mean Yoshi invited both my real self AND my online persona to meet him at his gig?! I almost lost sleep last night while I thought hard about this… I even had the craziest thought of calling up that gremlin Park Jihoon and asking him for advice!
I think Jihoon already had an idea of my year-long crush on Yoshi, despite his constant teasing, I realized that he had actually tried to set up every opportunity to bring us together. I guess I do love that germy, skirt-wearing freak after all.
When I saw my alarm clock, I also realized that it’s actually my birthday today and I’m excited to get to the station nearest to my college because that’s where the lockers we always exchange gifts at were located. In my haste, I couldn’t be bothered to dress nicely.
I just took a quick shower and threw on whatever clothes I saw that didn’t look too dirty and hopped on the next train to get to the station.
It was rush hour and there were so many people commuting to work or school. Usually, I try to avoid this many people, but today, all I could think about was Yoshi’s birthday present and what would unfold later at the gig.
I’ve made up my mind that when he sees me with whatever it was that he’s giving me, come what may, I would be brave and confess to him. I would apologize for hiding my true identity and I would tell him my true feelings. I won’t live a single day of this lie anymore.
And… and if he rejects me, well…I would move on. I would.
I, Kim Junkyu, 24 years of age as of today, would behave like an adult. A logical and rational adult.
The locker was coin operated, and since it also used fingerprint recognition, Yoxi had already shared the passcode to me so I could access the contents inside. I was expecting the usual stuff, a mixtape he made or even some obscure 7-inch vinyls that he thought I would enjoy.
What greeted me when I swung the locker door open was a small portable voice recorder and a medium-sized box. Satisfied that nothing else was hidden in it, I took out the two items and closed the door, and made my way to a small cafe near the station where I ordered a cup of matcha latte and a cheese sandwich.
I didn’t know which one I should open first, and truthfully, I was overcome with anxiety as my hands trembled while tearing the colorful wrapping paper— revealing a Buriburizaemon plushie keychain. I couldn’t help but smile like an idiot as I brought the plushie close to my chest and hugged it as I pressed play on the small device.
“Hey, Shin. It’s me, Yox.
Happiest birthday to you, and I hope you like my little gift. We’ve been besties for more than a year, and I just want you to know that I really appreciate your presence in my life. You kept me sane, when all I wanted to do was to give up.
Thank you for being you. I really want to see you. I love you, bestie. Please say yes.”
I guess it’s time for me to man up and be that adult after all.
***
(Yoshi’s POV)
(Yoshi’s home)
I was stuck in an endless dream where I was dancing like a marionette with two guys I’ve never met before. I’m pretty sure they’re Japanese too because their demeanor was very Japanese. I couldn’t remember exactly what we talked about before the weird dance-off occurred, but one of them was tall, and I’m pretty sure that was Dobby’s boyfriend, Haruto. The other guy was shorter, I think his name was Asahi? Akari? He looked familiar too…maybe I’ve seen him in the Robotics department of the IT faculty because the guy looked so stoic he didn’t seem human. It was very unnerving.
Anyway, we were all wearing fancy suits for some reason and were doing the mannequin dance for some TikTok challenge… It was weird as hell.
We were dancing on and on to some weird music and it was so horrible because we couldn’t stop dancing and I was crying my ass off until I realized I was having a nightmare— and the bizarre music came from my snoozing five-minute interval phone alarms.
I woke up feeling more drained than I ever felt before I went to sleep, thanks to that stupid nightmare. When I looked out the window, the sun was already high in the sky, its light bright and glaring.
I was lucky I didn’t have any classes today, or I would be so screwed for waking up late. All I had to prepare for was the gig tonight and I was both excited and dreading the event for I will be meeting Shin for the first time, and also that so-called “date” with my campus crush, Kim Junkyu.
I didn’t know what to expect, I just hoped that I could keep my anxiety and panic at bay, and my palms wouldn’t sweat so much. Oh yeah, and not to mess up my performance too.
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Hey.
I got your bday gift 🥺
TQ so much Yoxi, I love it 🥹😭
@yoxi 🐯: Glad you like it, Shin.
Pls wear it tonight ok?
I’ll be looking for you 😉
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Hmm…but I’m in
my ugly clothes now. Please don’t laugh at me.
@yoxi 🐯: What? Just be casual Shin.
It’s just a simple gig with friends.
Nothing fancy, really
@notshinnosuke 🐨: No, I’m serious.
I haven’t got a stitch to wear istg 😩
@yoxi 🐯: Lol, what? Don’t be so dramatic, Shin.
Why do you always have to be so over
the top? You remind me of my friend Paji 🙄
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Paji???
I’m nothing like that hyperactive idiot!
😤
@yoxi 🐯: Wait, you know Paji, Shin??
How? 🤔
@notshinnosuke 🐨: No, no. I just imagined
that he’s an annoying guy from our chats
@yoxi 🐯: Oh…hahah, yeah.
I guess I did complain a lot about him
before 😅
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Uhm… Yox? I saw your
post earlier
@yoxi 🐯: That photo of me practicing
my guitar? Why? Did I look weird?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: No, it’s not that. How can I tell even if you look weird?
You never show anything beyond your neck and torso in any of your YouTube videos, istg 🧐
Anyway, why are you still holding on to your ex’s promise ring?
You should return it back to her.
It’s clear that she’s just using you Yox.
@yoxi 🐯: You’re right… I guess I will.
I should… shouldn’t I?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Be wise Yox. I don’t want
to see you hurting again.
Anyway, I’ll see you tonight.
@yoxi 🐯: Yeah.
Yeah, you’re absolutely right.
See ya, Shin 🥹
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
*Doorbell trills*
I was about to finish dressing up, putting on the last bits of my jewelry when the doorbell kept trilling. Initially, I couldn’t be bothered, maybe someone got the unit wrong, a confused delivery guy perhaps because literally nobody knows where I lived, and I only have about an hour or so to get ready.
But when the ringing started to turn into incessant knockings, I started to walk towards the door. Maybe there was an emergency. Maybe my neighbors needed something from me. Maybe there was a fire and we needed to evacuate. Maybe—
“K-Karina. What are you doing here?”
”Yoshi, don’t say no,” was the only thing she said as she pushed her way through the door as she hugged me, her lips crushing into mine as she sneaked her cold bony hands under my shirt, kicking the front door close with her foot— her arms snaking tightly around my torso as she hugged me.
I was too shocked by her sudden appearance, unable to respond to her advances and she took that momentary hesitation to shove me onto the sofa, and as I landed on the old cushioned settee, Karina climbed over me and straddled herself around my thighs and began to kiss me over my neck— hungrily, desperately.
When she forced my lips open with her tongue, sucking my own, tugging at my lower lip as she moaned, her hands began to frantically undo my belt as she began grinding herself against my traitorous erection.
When she pulled my raging boner out, her own hands crossing over her chest to pull off her top to reveal her perky breasts, I gripped her forcefully over her shoulders, stopping her from going any further— to halt our impending debauchery.
”You’re drunk. What are you trying to do, Karina? Why are you here?”
I then pushed myself up against my left elbow, trying to sit up, but Karina struggled out of my hold, forcing me onto my back again as she sat on her haunches, her hands now stroking my cock and to my utmost chagrin, I too let out a moan as she continued to grip my shaft, her own pussy drenched as she moved higher to rub her clit against my angry head, her short pleated skirt spreading across my thighs.
I cursed loudly in Japanese for my inability to control my treacherous body, but my guilt got the better of me. I was sorry for using my strength, but I pushed her off, and I swung my legs away from under her body— putting a distance between ourselves.
My cock was throbbing painfully, but I couldn’t do this.
I mustn’t do this!
Not when I just promised Shin to stop this once and for all.
I stood up to go to the bathroom, fully intending to jerk myself off while thinking of Junkyu, when Karina started sobbing as she latched onto my back, hot tears burning through my shirt, gripping me around my chest.
I sighed heavily as she continued to cry brokenly, hiccups straining her voice. I moved to remove her arms around me, but she held me tighter.
”Let me go, Karina. We’re done. I can’t be your friend with benefits anymore. You cheated on me for two whole years, Karina, you played me. You turned me into a joke. I can’t do this.
I can’t be your backup plan.”
I then wrenched her arms apart as I turned to face her. She looked so sad as she continued crying and as much as I wanted her out of my life, she was once part of mine too. A very big part of me.
I held her trembling chin as I stroked her long hair and thumbed her tears away.
”I’m moving on. And I’m not looking back. You need to go.”
”M-Minjeong l-left me. S-She broke up with me.”
”Kay…”
”She said that I don’t love her, that what we have isn’t enough. I-I love her so much, Yoshi. So very much. I-I can’t do this. I c-can’t be alone right now, I don’t know what I’ll do to myself!”
”Don’t do this to me, please, Karina—“
Karina then dropped to her knees and hugged my legs, crying as if the world was about to end, sobbing hysterically.
”I need you, Yoshi. Please don’t send me away, please.”
”Get up, Karina. I’ll help you wash your face. You’re drunk and I need to go. I’m gonna be late for my gig.”
”Please, Yoshi, just this once? For old time’s sake?”
”Stop this, Karina! You do realize that I’m actually gay right?”
”So?? I’m fucking bisexual too! But I need you right now, please!”
My eyes widened as she pulled off her soaked panties and got on her elbows and knees but not before grabbing my hand and forced my finger into her ass as she whimpered.
”Y-You want to do me in the ass? Take me, I know you like Junkyu. You can fuck me, you can pretend that he’s me, you can moan his name, I don’t care! Just don’t leave me tonight. I don’t wanna be alone, I-I c-can’t be alone, not right now.”
When I just stood there, frozen, she just continued moaning as she bucked her ass against my hand.
”This is the last time. If you ever had any love for me, please don’t go. Please fuck my sadness away, Yoshi.”
***
Rrring… Rrring…
I groaned as my head pounded heavily, the house was dark and my entire body felt sore. I found myself slumped on my sofa, wearing only my boxers, my clothes strewn all over the cramped living room.
The phone kept ringing, muffled somewhat and I groped around in the dark trying to find the source of sound. I then saw something illuminated under my ripped jeans on the floor and I picked up my phone.
(Start of phone call ☎️)
”H-Hello?”
“Where the fuck are you??!”
“P-Paji?”
“Who else?? Where are you, Yoshi?? I’ve been trying to call you for the past four hours!”
“I’m at home. What do you mean you’ve waited for four hours?”
“You’re an idiot, Yosh! We’ve been waiting for so long! And you’re at home?? You missed the gig! We’re so worried something might’ve happened to you!”
”Oh, fuck! What time is it?”
”You stupid fuck, it’s almost 10pm! We had to get someone else to stand in for you!”
”What? W-Who?”
”Junkyu! Thank god he’s actually a multiinstrumentalist! But you, you are such a disappointment, Yosh! I can’t believe you. What the hell happened?!”
”I-I’m so sorry, Ji, I really am. Karina came…”
”Karina?! Your fucking ex?! I told you she’s bad news! Why are you still getting involved with her? The way she had you wrapped around her little finger—“
”Look, I’m sorry. She broke up with her girlfriend and we drank. One thing led to another and…”
”You should’ve known better, Yosh. I’m so disappointed with you.”
“I’m really sorry, Ji. I truly am.”
“The one you should be sorry to is Kyu. He insisted on waiting for you. I don’t know how he knew all the songs in our set list, but he managed to play your parts perfectly. It’s like I’m watching a shadow of you.”
“He d-did? Oh god… I’m such an idiot!”
“So much for your one-year old campus crush.”
My heart clenched as I listened to Jihoon nagging on and on about what an idiot I was for letting this opportunity go to waste and I couldn’t say a single word because it’s true.
I am an idiot. The worst kind.
“By the way, Ji, did a guy with a Buriburizaemon plushie come?”
“A Buriburi-what? What the hell is that? Another one of your scandals? No, I don’t know who or what you’re talking about, I was just busy trying not to go into a full blown panic attack because of you.”
“I’m really sorry, Ji, I really don’t know how else to apologize.”
“Like I said, the only person you should say sorry to is Kyu.”
I sighed deeply then as I scratched my head violently. I hated this…Yoshi, you dumb fucking idiot!
“And a word of advice and please know that I’m saying this because you’re my friend— you’re an adult. You should know who truly cares for you and who is just using you to fill their boredom. Stop holding on to nostalgia. Move on.”
(End of phone call ☎️ )
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 5: 𝙸𝙵 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙱𝚄𝙸𝙻𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵 𝙰 𝙼𝚈𝚃𝙷, 𝙸𝚃´𝚂 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚈 𝙱𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚂 ♫
“𝚌𝚊𝚗´𝚝 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗
𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎
𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚊 𝚖𝚢𝚝𝚑, 𝚢𝚘𝚞´𝚍 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎
𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎
𝚘𝚛 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚕𝚢
𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚝”
(Junkyu’s POV)
(Flashback to the day before - Gig day)
To say that I’m nervous was an understatement.
I’m crazy nervous, I kept going to the toilet. I might as well have worn adult diapers. I was so worried all the while, of the prospects of confronting Yoshi that I couldn’t even concentrate in class. I was thinking of so many things, and because I rushed out to the train station to get Yoshi’s gift, I wasn’t even dressed properly.
To top it off, I was stuck in college almost the entire day because my annoying lecturer decided that I should bear the brunt of my group’s failure to present our submission on time, since our actual group leader, Jihoon, wasn’t around because he’s busy preparing for his record store event!
My plans of dressing up nicely before showing up for our “date” literally went down the drain when I found myself panting and heaving as I jogged my way from college to the record store. But I really didn’t mind, all I had in my head was how cute Yoshi would look, and how cool he would be as he strums his guitar on stage.
I didn’t even care that all I had on was my old gray Supreme hoodie, coffee-stained, ripped blue jeans, and a pair of Converse.
But when I reached there, the Buriburizaemon plushie hanging on my chest from the strap of my crossbody bag in plain view for everybody to see— Yoshi was nowhere to be found.
As I waited and waited like a besotted fool, it became clear that Yoshi was never gonna show up. When Jihoon was pacing all over the store, yelling at the top of his lungs outside with Hyunsuk trying to calm his boyfriend down— I knew that something must’ve happened.
I texted Yoshi on our DMs as usual, but he didn’t reply either.
Something was wrong.
“Ji, where’s Yoshi?” I finally asked as they couldn’t delay their set any longer, being the last band to go on stage.
Jihoon was crouching on the stage, tuning his bass as he adjusted the floor pedal board, while Hyunsuk was messing with his drums for the crowd. The brunette was so pissed, his anger was palpable as he continued to adjust his distortion level, not even looking up to face me.
”I don’t know where that idiot is. He’s completely ditched us, Kyu! We are so screwed. I don’t even know why we’re even pushing through with this. We should’ve just announced that our band isn’t playing, but Sukkie-hyung insisted on waiting and just jam to keep the crowd happy. I should’ve just continued with my DJ setup instead of putting effort for this stupid fucking band. I ought to wring his neck. I’m gonna kill him the next time I see his pretty face—“
I interrupted his rantings as I grabbed a piece of paper taped to the floor— “Is this your setlist?”
”Obviously,” said Jihoon as he glared at me. “Fat load of help that’s gonna do with our guitarist missing.”
I then climbed on stage, and grabbed Yoshi’s guitar and adjusted the strap as I started to tune and adjust the blue Fender Stratocaster. When I started the riffs to Joy Division’s Disorder, the crowd began to hoot and clap as they began to gather closer to the stage.
I ignored them as I frowned in concentration when Jihoon suddenly hooked his arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards Hyunsuk, who was now smiling from ear to ear.
”I didn’t know you could play, Junkyu,” the bleached blondie with the scruffy hairdo that made him look like a cute duckling grinned as he began to fall in tune to my rhythm.
”I can kiss you for this, Kyu!” Jihoon yelled excitedly into my ear as I grimaced, trying to push him off as he pulled me in to kiss my cheek.
”Eww, get away from me, you disgusting turd!”
”Okay, okay, but damn Kyu, you’re a lifesaver. But are you sure? You can play all the songs?” Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows together as he scanned my face.
”I can play any instrument under the sun. And yes, I know all the songs. Let’s get this show going. I’ll fill in for Yoshi until he comes.”
”Yeah, right. I’m gonna kick him out of the band. You’re in, bro!”
I just rolled my eyes at Jihoon’s announcement, but I couldn’t help but smile. I love music, I’m something of a prodigy if I may say so. But I’ve only ever jammed in the confines of my studio at home and since Yoxi had shared all his music with me, and even the planned setlist, I, more or less, know everything there was to know about his musical tastes.
Yep, a stalker through and through.
…
By the time we’re done, I stayed behind to help them clean up, even Dobby and Haruto were there, chatting with Jihoon and Hyunsuk. As I looked at the two happy couples, I was so overcome with jealousy that I had to look away, clenching my fists as I felt tears starting to burn at the corner of my eyes. I walked out of the store to calm myself down in the back lane, hoping nobody would notice my absence.
”Kyu, are you okay?”
I didn’t even notice when Jihoon had managed to get behind me as he reached out to my hand and pushed a can of beer.
”I-I was supposed to meet him tonight, Ji. It was supposed to be a date.”
”What? Yoshi finally asked you out to be his date?”
”Y-Yeah… but I guess I got stood up, like an idiot.”
I continued looking at my feet as I fidgeted, I bit my trembling lips as I was so angry and sad at my own stupidity. I already know why I got ditched. I saw it on Instagram earlier. I almost threw my phone against the wall in a fit of rage, for being an absolute pathetic, lovesick fool.
I opened the can of beer and began chugging, its fizzy suds dripping down my mouth and dribbling down my neck, but I didn’t care.
“Hey, hey, Kyu…slow down. You’re gonna choke—“
”You know I’ve been in love with him for over a year, Ji?”
”That long? I know that you like him, it’s obvious when you kept hanging out at our store during your breaks…and I know you didn’t do that because of me, I mean you can’t stand my guts haha.”
”I’ve been talking to him anonymously online for over a year, Ji. I’m his online bff. And…and when he asked to meet tonight, I thought I would confess to him. I was so happy.”
”Kyu…”
I chuckled in spite of myself as I furiously rubbed my tears away, taking another chug of the beer, spilling the drink over the front of my hoodie as I crumpled the can and threw it against the wall.
”He even told me to wear this! So he would recognize me!” I then forced Paji to look at my pig plushie with purple pants.
“I’m so sorry, Kyu. I-I don’t know what to say—“
”Just…whatever. I don’t care anymore. I’m giving up. It’s my fault anyway. I built this myth, I can’t keep hanging on forever to this…this thing. It’s clear that he never had any feelings for me. It’s really just my one-sided delusion.”
Jihoon then looked at me with such pity, his eyes looking so much like those black tapioca stuff people put in those disgustingly sweet drinks and that made me want to scream in frustration.
”You know what, Kyu? You might be wrong. It’s really not my place to say this, but Yoshi really likes you…the real you. For all you know, he probably had an idea that you and your online self are one and the same—“
”Don’t. Just…don’t, Paji. Don’t get my hopes up. No more. I shouldn’t have opened up. This is why I hate human interaction. I hate this. I’m leaving.”
”Kyu, it’s late. The trains aren’t running anymore—“
”Then I’ll walk!”
…
It wasn’t Jihoon’s fault at all. Despite him being the bane of my existence, he was actually being a very, very good friend. But I couldn’t take it. My pride wouldn’t let me.
I was walking slowly as the tears kept streaming down my face when I heard a vehicle slowing down next to me. I began to panic, it was late.
Am I gonna get robbed now? As if my entire world wasn’t already crumbling around me, the universe wanted to rob me of my meager salary too? I suppose I could always beg my filthy rich parents to rescue me…oh shit! Am I gonna get kidnapped? Will they ask for ransom? Am I gonna get tortured and killed like in those K-dramas? Will I be bundled and thrown into the Han River, my body bloated and unrecognizable as the fishies enjoy eating my malang-malang cheeks—
“Hey, Junkyu-hyung!”
The passenger seat window wound down as the car came to a complete stop, revealing Dobby’s cute face and his handsome boyfriend Haruto’s peering out to me, their faces mirrored in concern.
”You need a ride? We’ll send you to your place. It’s not safe to walk alone at night.”
”Yeah, come on in hyung,” said Haruto in his deep baritone voice, smiling as he put an arm around Dobby who then leaned in to kiss him.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at these two crazy lovebirds.
….
When I finally reached home, I saw that Yoshi had yet to reply to my messages. I was just so pissed beyond words that I couldn’t think. What I saw on Instagram right after we finished our set made me realize what I’ve long since suspected.
Yoshi was a player.
He played with my heart, with Shin’s heart… and even though I loathe to say this, but Karina’s heart too.
He wasn’t as innocent as I thought he was.
All those stuttering, wet palms, doe-like innocent eyes… everything was just an act.
I hated him.
I hated him to the core of my being.
I hated him for making me feel this way.
I hated him for making me open my heart to human interaction, for giving me hope that I could be as normal as anyone else. For making me fall in love.
And most of all, I hated myself for hating him.
I wished I hadn’t met him on that day in the enrollment office. I wished he hadn’t approached me in his limited Korean, looking so handsome and lost, his bright red hair glinting like the sun in the otherwise drab and gloomy world of academia.
I wrenched the plushie he gave me from the bag, I squeezed it tight, imagining it was his neck that I was choking. I wanted to chuck it in the trash, along with every piece of music he ever gave me. But despite it all, despite being his so-called only friend, I knew he was genuine. His love for me, whatever we were— more than friends or not, was real.
I went to sleep sobbing, my tears soaking the plushie, and I made up my mind to end it all with him.
Tomorrow will be another day.
The bliss was momentary, and this was the consequences I had to face.
I couldn’t keep hanging on to what’s dead and gone, I knew that now.
I knew that so well.
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 6: 𝚂𝙰𝚈 𝙸𝚃 𝙰𝙸𝙽´𝚃 𝚂𝙾 ♫
“𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗´𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞
𝚒 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞
𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕
𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒 𝚜𝚊𝚢
𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚕𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚏𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢
𝚜𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚕
𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚒𝚗´𝚝 𝚜𝚘
𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚛𝚞𝚐 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚛
𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚒𝚗´𝚝 𝚜𝚘
𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚛”
(Yoshi’s POV)
I woke up with a start when I realized I was still in bed. The sheets were rumpled, and I was still in my boxers and I groaned as my head pounded heavily, as if I had little Spongebobs drilling and making construction in my skull as Patrick danced around heavily without his pants.
I couldn’t recall how I managed to get into bed, but I remembered receiving a phone call from Jihoon who screamed his head off. He was already loud in the first place, but as I sat there listening to him, I didn’t even need to put him on speaker. He was that loud.
I then realized that I was actually nursing a hangover when I noticed crumpled cans of beer all around me, and a bottle of almost empty Rokkosan whisky lying uncapped on my side table.
“Shin,” I gasped as I grabbed my phone, and quickly opened my DMs, my heart pounding heavily against my chest as I swiped towards his messages.
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Yoxi.
Where are you? I’m wearing your gift, the Buriburizaemon plushie.
It’s really the cutest, I love it so much.
I’m already at the record store.
Really can’t wait to see you.
🥹🥹🐨
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Where are you Yoxi?
I went to the cafe next door for a while to get some hot chocolate.
Are you there yet?
Text me back ✌️☺️
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Seriously, I’ve been waiting for almost 2 hours
Yox 😭
Aren’t you coming?
Your friend Jihoon is currently going through a nervous breakdown
because nobody in the band can play the guitar except you.
Pls hurry up 🏃♂️💨
@notshinnosuke 🐨: The band was really good, and the guy who
covered your parts was really good as well.
But he looked a bit sad.
Maybe he was also waiting for you
😔🥺😭
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Where are you, seriously, Yox?
I’m so worried. I hope nothing happened to you.
Be safe. 😔
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Are you with her again?
@notshinnosuke 🐨: Answer me Yox!
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I should’ve known.
(inserted a photo screencapped from Karina’s IG story
captioned: “My Sweet Tora-kun”)
@notshinnosuke 🐨: You know what Yox… I don’t know
why you do this to yourself.
You know that she’s using you again and again.
I truly have nothing to say to you.
@notshinnosuke 🐨: You let me down, Yox
@notshinnosuke 🐨: I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore
…
@yoxi 🐯: Shin, I’m sorry, please…
let me explain to you
@yoxi 🐯: Shin?
(YOU’RE BLOCKED)
@yoxi 🐯: Kyu…
🙅♀️❎🙅♀️
“Son of a bitch!” I screamed as I threw an empty glass against the wall, shattering it to pieces as I quickly dialled Jihoon’s number, the guy must’ve had Junkyu’s contact. I need to explain myself. I couldn’t let it end like this.
I’ve long suspected that Shin might be somebody I knew in real life, the way he responded to me, and knew more things about me than I had ever let on. Of course, he was somewhat my agony aunt— I’d always poured all my frustrations, happiness and deepest secrets to him. When I first realized my crush for Junkyu, I tried to tell Shin about it, but he would always shrug it off or change the subject. This went on for months, and I thought to myself, could Shin had somehow developed feelings for me? That he was jealous whenever I talked about Junkyu? It was very suspicious, but I brushed it off.
Then, I started noticing similarities between the two of them. Granted, I haven’t talked nor hung out with Junkyu much, but I’m an attentive listener, and I’ve always observed the interaction between Junkyu and Jihoon. Junkyu seemed to listen to all the bands we listen to, I even caught him humming songs from the curated mixtapes I’ve always sent to Shin whenever I stared at him while he worked at the cafe.
I probably thought too highly of myself, but I’ve also caught Junkyu staring at me multiple times whenever I spent my time sketching or just lazing around at the cafe he worked at. He’s also almost always at our shop during his breaks, even though it’s pretty obvious that he couldn’t stand the sight of Jihoon, even though they’re coursemates. Could he have been hanging out with us so often just to be near me? I know I’m flattering myself, but it definitely felt that way.
When Shin guessed that I was in the record store toilet after being flustered so much by Junkyu’s proximity, I was really convinced that they’re indeed the same person. That actually spurred me to finally ask Junkyu out to the gig, hoping that if they were, in fact the same person— Junkyu would also be wearing the plushie I gave to Shin.
I also found out by chance that both Shin and Junkyu shared the same birthday when I heard Dobby wishing Kyu’s birthday in advance since it’s his day off and they won’t get to meet each other until much later.
I’m convinced that they’re one and the same.
(Start of phone call ☎️)
“Ji? It’s me.”
“Huh? Who the fuck’s me?”
“You idiot, it’s me Yoshi. I can’t believe you didn’t save my phone number in your phone! So much for wanting to be my best friend.”
“Oh relax, of course, I know it’s you. It’s just that you opened the conversation by ‘Ji, it’s me,’ like you’re calling me using a public payphone… the heck.”
“Arghh, I don’t have time for this!”
“Well, excuse me, do you think I have the time to listen to you?”
“Alright, alright. I’m sorry. Look, I really need Kyu’s number.”
“Why? So you could break your promise to him again? Sorry, Yosh I can’t give it to you.”
“Don’t be like this, Ji. You told me last night that I should apologize to him and I wanna do so. So please, give me his number.”
“Sorry, no can do. He specifically texted me just before you called not to give you his contacts.”
“Jihoon! Please, I thought we’re friends!”
“I’m also his friend, Yoshi. And I have to respect his wishes.”
“Ji…he’s Shin! He’s my online bestie. I know he is. I need to explain everything, it’s just a huge misunderstanding!”
“H-How did you know that? Did anybody tell you? Did he confess?”
“I figured it out myself. God, I’m such a prick. Please Ji, I-I really need to talk to him. I need to say sorry for being such an asshole—“
“Well, you are an asshole. While you were busy fucking your ex, Kyu was wearing his heart on his sleeve and even stepping up on your behalf.”
“I-I’m sorry—“
“He was crying, Yosh. He told me everything. God, and I actually rooted for you. I really meant it when I said that I’m so disappointed in you—“
“I love him, Ji!! I’ve loved him for over a year, and I was so slow because I’m just too stupid to realize it, but I know it now. It’s him. It’s always been him.”
“And yet you’re still fubus with Karina—“
“I know you don’t believe me, but we didn’t do anything. I mean she wanted to, but I didn’t fuck her—“
”Okay, okay. Spare me the details. Go explain to Kyu. But I still can’t give you his number. Go find out from the cafe or something.”
”Alright. Thanks, Ji.”
”Good luck, Tora-kun.”
”Arigatou.”
(End of phone call ☎️)
***
(Yoshi’s POV)
”Dobby!” I almost shouted as I burst through the front door of the cafe, startling the younger barista who was busy sweeping the cafe— making him drop the broom.
”Oh, so sorry. Here, let me help you,” I said as I grabbed the broom to pass it to him, the brunette looking at me with a puzzled look as he wiped the sweat that was starting to bead on his forehead.
”Thanks, Yoshi-hyung. So, what can I do for you?”
”Is Kyu working today?”
”Junkyu-hyung? No, he actually came by earlier, but he looked really pale and sick, his eyes were really red and swollen, Yoshi-hyung. It looked like he was stung by a bee so my boss told him to take the day off and go see the doctor.”
”Oh, he did?”
”Yeah, he just left like about 10 minutes ago. Why? Do you need something from him?”
“Ah…uhm…it’s kinda personal—“ I fidgeted as I trained my gaze on my feet, Dobby was staring unabashedly at me now as he stopped sweeping, clutching the broomstick as he rested his chin on top of it.
”Oh okay. Well, you better get to it then.”
”Yeah, I guess I will. Bye, Dobby. And thanks,” I said as I pushed the front door, the small bell attached on it ringing as I did so. I began walking heavily towards my bike, unsure where to go next as I reached for my full face helmet when I suddenly felt somebody grab my left shoulder.
I turned to look at Dobby who smiled sympathetically as he pressed a piece of paper into my hands.
“He really likes you hyung. He thought you’re so cool working in the record store with your music and fashionable style. He told me that almost everyday.”
I didn’t know what to make of that. Me, cool?
When I had no self-esteem that I cower from ever confronting my own crush? The me that was so dense that I had completely missed all the signals that Junkyu had been throwing my way all year long? When all I did was to push him further away from me everyday?
“I wasn’t sure if I should even give you his number, but Watanabe-kun said that we shouldn’t be judgmental. I’m sure you did what you did, because of reasons only you would know.”
I felt my eyes stung with tears as I gripped that piece of paper in my fists. I really didn’t deserve this much kindness from his friends when all I’ve done was make him suffer.
I bit my lips to stop them from trembling as I clasped both of Dobby’s hands, the warmth of his gesture touched me greatly.
“Thank you so much, Dobby. You’re really kind. I’m glad Kyu has a reliable friend like you. Please send my thanks to Haruto-kun as well.”
“Go win his heart, hyung. You have mine and Watanabe-kun’s support. You’re our friend after all. So be cool.”
***
I tried calling Junkyu to ask him of his whereabouts, but it kept going into voicemail. I had the feeling that he had also blocked my number as he did with all my social media applications. I really didn’t know where else to go so I just went to the train station nearest to our college, maybe check out the lockers where we always exchange our gifts for one another.
I quickly walked as I made my way through the throng of humans, their bodies sticky and suffocating. I then rounded the corner towards the coin lockers when I saw a familiar broad shouldered figure clad in white Supreme hoodie, the hood covering his head as he stood tall and lanky. The area near the lockers was deserted, and I hid behind the walls, looking at Junkyu as he placed something in it before locking them and walking away, his shoulders hunched as his head bowed— hands clenched together as he shuffled listlessly towards the platforms before boarding the train.
I wanted to shout, to tell him to stay.
I wanted to run towards him, to engulf his body in my arms.
I wanted to tell him I’m sorry for not realizing sooner. For being so stupid.
But I didn’t do any of those things.
Instead I watched him lift his hand to hold the grab handles overhanging him, watched him sway as the train jerked towards its next destination as the door closed.
My phone then beeped and vibrated in my pocket, and I received a text message from an unknown number. When I opened the message, I saw a familiar string of numbers— the passcode to our gift exchange locker.
My heart sank the moment the locker door beeped open, and I saw the Buriburizaemon plushie keychain, looking all the worse for wear, it’s furry surface matted, some areas still warm and wet as I realized that Junkyu must’ve sobbed hysterically into it.
When I turned on the voice recorder, there was no sound, except harsh breathing noises, as if someone was quietly crying, its voice strained and broken.
I’m now convinced that Shin and Kim Junkyu were one and the same.
And I’ve lost them both.
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 7: 𝚃𝙾𝙽𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃, 𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙸𝚃 𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙽𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙲𝙴𝙽𝚃 ♫
“𝚞𝚑 𝚑𝚞𝚑, 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝
𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝
𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚗𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝
𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝
𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕
𝚘𝚑 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝, 𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚌”
(Junkyu’s POV)
When I came to work today, my face was still swollen. I haven’t had a proper sleep ever since that disastrous night at the gig next door. I just couldn’t stop crying, like the idiot I was. I kept telling myself that it was all for the best, and I wanted to end things amicably with Yoshi. I couldn’t do it over the phone, and I couldn’t text him over our DMs either because I refused to see any updates on his personal life. I couldn’t take it if I stumbled across another post of him that contained even a shadow of his ex. So I made up my mind to leave a coherent message to him in the voice recorder and leave it in the coin locker.
But when I cried myself to sleep while hugging the plushie he gifted me, I was flooded with memories our late night chats, and all the small things that endeared him to me— his little awkward smile, his constantly sweaty hands, all those times we stole glances at each other during our untimely breaks. Him sitting in the corner booth scribbling away, ordering expensive coffees everyday but never seemed to finish them.
The way his strong back felt against my chest as I hugged him close, his heart beating against my cheeks as I leaned on him on his bike…
In the end, all I recorded was the sound of me crying and gasping like a fish without water— tired… and broken.
I poured myself into work, serving the customers, robotic and mechanical. I had to work double shifts today because our manager wasn’t in, so by the time Dobby came in for his PM shift, I was just manning the till and I was so exhausted all I wanted to do was just sleep. And I did just that once I’m done counting the profits of the day.
“Hyung? Hey, it’s getting late. You should get going now.”
“Wh-what? Is that you Dobby?”
“Hyung, you fell asleep. You must be so exhausted.”
I rubbed my eyes as I yawned heavily, pushing myself up from the small sofa in the staff room at the back. I was still wearing my soiled apron and I stood up groggily while removing said apron to hang it.
“What time is it now, Dobby?”
“It’s already 12 a.m., hyung.”
“What?! 12? Oh no, I-I gotta leave now or I’ll miss the last train!
“Hyung, let me just send you home? Haruto’s outside in his car waiting for me. You’re lucky I came back because I left some stuff here or you’ll be sleeping here all night.”
“Thanks, but I need to get something at the station, just drop me there.”
“Alright, hyung. Go wait in the car, I’ll lock up.”
…
I knew that I was going to miss the last train as I ran up the escalators, bounding three steps at a time, but by the minute I reached the platforms, I saw the doors closed as the train went on its last journey of the night. I was almost there, reaching out my hands, my arms outstretched as I yelled NOOOOO, but I guess it’s my fate to be stuck out here after all.
I wanted to hit my head for my own stupidity, I should’ve taken up Dobby’s offer to send me home. And now, because of my pride and stubbornness, I’m left out on the platforms, squatting like a drunken man holding his head in his hands as I contemplate my life choices.
I guess I’ll just have to take a cab home and I forced myself up and walked to the taxi stand. On the way out, I had to go through the area with the rows of coin lockers… a place that used to hold so many happy memories as I anticipated the stuff he would so often curate just for me. I felt the almost familiar sting in the corners of my eyes as I walked as fast as I could towards the exit, it’s all I’ve been doing for the past two days anyway.
I should stop this, it’s pathetic. It’s loser behavior to the core, but I couldn’t help myself.
I’ve never understood heartbreak before since I’ve always avoided close interaction with people all my life, but now?
I think I’ve finally understood the meaning of to have loved… and lost, all in the span of one short week. And I never knew how painful it felt… until now. Until I met Kanemoto Yoshinori.
Argh, I really should stop feeling sorry for myself as I headed towards a cab, but when I rummaged through my pockets, I realized that I didn’t have a single cent on me. I looked frantically through my backpack, and I couldn’t find my wallet either.
Stupid, stupid Junkyu! You must’ve left it in the cafe when you rushed out like a fool!
As if this night couldn’t get any worse, I then sighed heavily as I walked out like a zombie. I guess I should go back to the cafe and get my wallet…and maybe just sleep there. It’s my day off tomorrow anyway, and I don’t have any classes to attend.
…
I finally reached the cafe after about a fifteen minute walk, the street empty and lonely, all the patrons and businesses closed for the night. It was a warm and balmy night, but still I shivered a little, even under my hoodie. As I checked my bag for the keys, I then realized that the universe must hate me so much right now, because it was Dobby who did the closing so, of course, the keys were with him.
I just sank down as I buried my face in my hands, I couldn’t help it. It’s so unfair. Why do I have to go through all this? Why am I so unlucky in life? What did I do to deserve all this shit? I’ve never hurt anybody, even if I’m the only son of chaebol parents, I’ve never flaunted that fact to anyone. I was living my own life, minding my own business. I’ve never wanted any human interaction whatsoever, but right now? Right now, as I cried pathetically on the sidewalk, next to the drain like an absolute loser… all I wanted was to be told that I’m not that bad of a person. That I too deserve happiness. I wanted to be held close in someone’s embrace, to be loved. To not be lonely anymore. All I wanted was—
“Why are you crying?”
I almost fell backwards in shock, but when I saw his kind face, his shaggy golden hair falling over his sad eyes— I couldn’t help but let out a loud sob. I’ve wanted to see this face.
“Did you wait for a long time… Shin?
”Y-Yox.”
♫ 𝙳𝙰𝚈 8: 𝙻𝙾𝚂𝚃 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻, 𝙷𝙸𝚃 𝙰 𝚆𝙰𝙻𝙻 𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝚆𝙴´𝚁𝙴 𝙰𝙻𝚁𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 ♫
“𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞?
𝚒 𝚌𝚊𝚗´𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚜
𝚠𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍𝚜
𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐, 𝚠𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚋𝚢
𝚌𝚊𝚗´𝚝 𝚐𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚍, 𝚊𝚒𝚗´𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎
𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚏 𝚠𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎
𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚎´𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝”
(Yoshi’s POV)
I didn’t get to see Junkyu the whole day since the last time I caught a glimpse of him leaving on the train. I also knew he actually came to work today because Dobby had discreetly texted me about Junkyu having to do a double shift, and since I was the only one working in the store today, I decided to wait for his break.
I really doubt that Junkyu would ever come back to hang out at the record store again, but when 3 p.m. came and his cute face was nowhere to be seen, I was hit by the realization that it was really over between us, before it even had the chance to begin.
The fact that the usually quiet store was suddenly swamped with a horde of 50 to 60 somethings looking for first pressings of their favorite music from their youth also didn’t help. Most of them were audiophiles and although I prided myself with my vast musical knowledge, being a timid, soft spoken 24 year old from Japan didn’t exactly help my situation in dealing with these so-called music snobs.
By the time these uncles left, most of them with holes in their pockets for trying and failing to haggle the set prices, I’m so bogged down and tired that I didn’t even have the time to catch a break. All I had was some cup noodles while I fed the stray cats out in the back lane, and I have yet to catch even a glimpse of Junkyu’s shadow.
I didn’t know when I fell asleep from the exhaustion of single handedly manning the store, but by the time I woke up, it was already 1 a.m. I was still groggy from sleep when I decided to go outside for some fresh air, and maybe smoke a fag or two before I close the store down and head home.
It was quite warm outside, but I somehow shivered in my cut-off tee and shorts, probably because my armholes were almost as big as the length of my shirt. My custom Zippo in my grip, I was about to light up my cig when I heard muffled sobs from across the street.
My first reaction was to fight or flight, because it’s really late and not all the street lamps were lit. But as I squinted to see the source of the crying, I saw a familiar figure clad in a white hoodie, its hood obscuring his features as he hugged his legs together, his face buried between his knees.
Was he…crying?
I only took a few puffs to calm my nerves before flicking the ciggy down and stubbing it out under my shoe. As I walked closer to him, his crying got louder— his shoulders wracking in despair as he hugged himself tighter, he didn’t even notice me standing there next to him.
“Kyu?”
He didn’t reply and I took a step closer, crouching next to him. I couldn’t see his face, but his hands were gripping his knees so tightly the knuckles almost turned white. I tilted my head to the side, watching him crying so desperately made me want to cry along with him.
Am… am I the cause of his despair?
“Why are you crying?” I tried again.
Junkyu then snapped his head up, his pretty eyes red with tears, his nose puffy, and his pouty mouth fell open in shock— he then gasped as he lost his balance and began to fall backwards, but I was faster. I caught him by his arms with one hand and held his nape with the other. He then let out a loud sob, his tears streaming down his cheeks.
I looked into his watery eyes, my own sadness must be mirroring his despair and I gave him a thin smile.
”Did you wait for a long time… Shin?”
”Y-Yox.”
The moment my online name left his dry lips, I felt my stomach clench and my chest tightened.
Shin was Junkyu.
My campus crush was my best friend all along.
“It’s—it’s you. It was always you.”
“Y-Yoshi, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m sorry I kept this from you, for behaving like a fucking stalker. I was afraid that you would hate me—“
I then put my palm against his mouth… muffling him as I shook my head.
”Shh… you don’t have to explain anything. I’m just glad that it’s you. That my bestest friend Shin is you, Kim Junkyu.”
”B-But… don’t you find me creepy at all? What if I turned out to be insane? And u-ugly?”
I bit my lips as I tried to stop myself from giggling, Junkyu was exactly like his online persona— self-conscious, naggy… but also so damned cute and slightly vain. I knew I shouldn’t laugh or crack a joke. The guy was crying his heart out and here I am, squatting on the sidewalks with him in my arms, trying to console and reassure him when all I wanted to do was to kiss him until he cried. Well, he was already crying, but I wanted a different sort of cry.
I want those pouty lips to cry out my name.
Mine.
”Kyu, you’re far from ugly. And you’re not insane. Well, maybe just a little bit seeing that you seemed to know everything about me, and Paji even told me when you played my parts it was like he was seeing a shadow of me—“
Junkyu then shrieked which caught me completely off guard before burying his face into my chest, gripping my shirt as he shook his head vehemently.
”H-Hey, Kyu what’s wrong—“
”No, no, no, don’t say it. I’m so embarrassed, I knew everything about you because I was slightly more than a little obsessed with you that I tried to emulate your style every time you posted your YouTube jamming videos. I’m such a stalker… I’m so creepy, a-and embarrassing—“
I immediately crushed my lips on his soft looking ones to stop him from babbling any further. I knew Shin so well, he tends to get derailed with his intrusive thoughts and he wouldn’t stop until I bring him back to reality and since he’s now in front of me, the only way to shut him up is to kiss him. Obviously.
”Mmph…Y-Yoshi, n-not out here—“
”Shut up and kiss me, Kyu.”
…
I didn’t know how we managed to get inside.
The moment I held him close and began to ravage his lips, I seemed to have completely lost my mind as Junkyu began to sink into my touch as he started moaning deliciously as I nibbled his lower lips. When I coaxed him to let me in, he welcomed me with such fervor that our tongues quickly found each other as I felt my body going into overdrive. He was so warm, and so eager to devour me that I almost forgot that we’re out in the open, in plain view for everyone to see.
When his hands began to wander across my body, sliding under my loose tee— I just kept sucking his now swollen lips, wrestling his tongue, the clacking and gnashing of our teeth did nothing to stop us from devouring each other. But when he began to move further down, when he began cupping my crotch, and I felt myself steeling against his hand, I decided that this wouldn’t do. It’s obvious that our mutual hunger was unbridled, from almost a year of pining for each other, so close yet so far apart.
I growled against his luscious lips, open mouthed and hungry as I pinched his hardened nipple—
“If you don’t want me to bend you over this grass right now, Kim Junkyu, you had better stop touching me like this.”
Junkyu then opened his eyes lazily as he stared into me, his pupils blown, his gaze challenging.
”And what if I want you to? What are you gonna do, Tora-chan?”
Like I said before, I didn’t know how we managed to get inside. The force of our intense desire for one another was simply insane, that the moment I managed to grasp the gravity of our situation, we were already all over each other.
“W-Wait, Kyu. Let me, let me play us something. We should listen to some music.”
I was making my way towards the DJ table next to the counter, fully intending to play something on Rosé-noona’s Technics SL1200MK7 turntable when Junkyu practically jumped onto my back like a monkey, refusing to let me go. As I was reaching out for The Clash’s London Calling vinyl, trying hard to find the song I wanted to listen to, he began kneading my pecs, rubbing my tummy from behind as he traced every single bulge of my abs. When he started to suck hickeys over my nape, tracing along my jaw— my fingers trembled heavily, and I had a hard time dropping the diamond-tipped stylus onto the grooves of the spinning vinyl.
”God, Kyu… be patient please!” I hissed as he began to tug over my earlobe, sucking my black die drop earring as his grabby hands creeped forwards to undo my belt buckle, unzipping my cargo shorts until they dropped heavily around my ankles.
”C-Can’t.”
My eyes bulged as I tried to compose myself, but Junkyu, the horny little kitty, was just relentless. As I was adjusting the amp output with so much difficulty, I really wished I had just turned on my Spotify playlist instead, to the utmost guilt of my audiophile snobby self, ugh! Junkyu wasn’t making things any easier either as he dropped on his knees and swallowed me whole, but not before licking a fat stripe underneath my cock before playing and pumping me.
”G-Give me a second, Kyu, you little tease,” I groaned, but Junkyu just shook his head stubbornly as he moaned pornographically around my shaft.
”W-Won’t.”
When Paul Simonon’s bass riffs filled the air, followed by the Jamaican rocksteady roots of the rhythm line for Guns of Brixton, I immediately lifted Junkyu off my cock as I flipped him around and bending him against the counter, my little cocktease whimpering as saliva dribbled down the corner of his lips as he whined at the loss of my manhood from the confines of his sexy mouth.
”Why, baby? Are you sad that you lost your toy?”
Junkyu then glared at me as he pouted, “Yeah, because I wanna have it shoved into me. Any objections, Your Honor?”
“Sustained,” I smirked as I slapped his shapely ass, making him moan louder. “You like a little bit of pain, huh? Kyu? You little pervert.”
”Am—am not a pervert!” He protested vehemently as he began rubbing his ass against my now throbbing cock, still wet from his previous teasing.
“Oh yeah? My turn now,” I hissed against his ear as I stripped off his jeans, Junkyu stepping out of them in his haste that he almost tripped and fell sideways before I caught him, whining petulantly in his baby-ish voice as I did so.
♫ “𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛,
𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎?
𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍?
𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚐𝚞𝚗?” ♫
“Which one baby? How you gonna come?” I teased as I started to land kisses all over his slim back, making purple blooms along his spine as I began jerking his cock with one hand, and pinching his nipple with the other.
“Ahhn, Y-Yoshi… that feels so good. I-I want it on t-the trigger of my gun please, hhh!”
“Oh Kyu, I didn’t know you’re actually this lewd,” I smiled as I continued to stroke his sizable length, almost as big as mine to my surprise.
When Junkyu started to buck his rounded ass against my cock, now red and angry against my stomach— begging to be enveloped and released of its burden, I groped for a box under the counter where I knew Jihoon had hidden his stash of lubes and condoms, for his use whenever him and his boyfriend decided to spontaneously fuck.
Sorry, bro, now it’s my turn to desecrate this store.
“Condoms?” I asked Junkyu as if I was offering food— who then turned to look at me beyond his shoulders, his glazed eyes narrowed, his crimson apple cheeks puffing out like a cute hamster as he shook his head, still pouting.
“Do me raw,” he whispered before biting his lips, out of mortification I suppose. But who am I kidding? That’s way hotter.
“You sure? I’ve never done it raw before… because of—uhm— obvious reasons.”
I loathed to remind him of my previous sexual history but then he began to smile, his dimple deepening as he bit one of the lube sachets open and spread the jelly over his long and slender fingers. He then bent himself further over the counter, his smooth ass pushed higher towards me as he spread his cheeks apart with one hand and plunged a jelly-coated finger into his pink hole with the other— putting on a show for me.
When he cried out in pain from stretching his own tightness, I grabbed his pistoning wrist to make him stop before he hurt himself.
“Kyu, let me help you prep—“
“N-No, Yoshi… I can do this. Let me do it, please.”
He then took a deep breath as he introduced the second finger, trying to scissor himself open. But when he cried out loud, tears dripping from his pretty eyes, I immediately pulled them out, but gently this time. I then began to kiss the back of his hand like he was a princess, trailing up his arm— surprisingly toned and muscled. Junkyu began to sigh in content as I left feathery kisses over his shoulder.
He then tilted his head sideways as he bared his neck, inviting me to devour it and I obliged as I traced the outline of his jaw, leaving traces of my desire for him as a reminder that he was indeed mine now. As he moaned deeply into my touch, turning his head towards me as I nipped and licked the corner of his mouth, I began introducing my finger, slowly easing it in, traces of the jelly from his previous sexual exercise aiding me as I swiped around his rim, stretching him out gently.
Junkyu still whimpered as he was still so extremely tight, but I continued to kiss him as I cupped his rounded pecs with my other hand, teasing his hardened nub in circles— adding another finger into his slowly stretching hole.
”Easy, Kyu… just relax. Concentrate on my kiss, baby… there’s a good kitty,” I muttered against his mouth as I felt him gradually relaxing, his pained moans slowly turned into needy ones as he started to rock his hips against my hand.
”You’re really tight, Kyu, but it’s okay. We can do this slowly, we have all the time in the world,” I tried to reassure him as he continued to moan.
”I-I’m sorry I’m so inexperienced Yoshi. It’s my f-first time, ahhn!”
“W-What? You’re a virgin, Kyu?” I immediately paused my fingers which led him to wail in protest, moving his hips further, trying to create more friction. “You’ve never even masturbated with a toy before?”
“N-No. Is that bad?” He then turned to look at me, his doe eyes tearing up again as he bit his trembling lips and my heart started to break as his face looked so damned sad. I then began stroking his hair, smoothing his drenched bangs away from his face as I kissed him on the top of his head.
”No, Kyu-cat. It’s not bad at all. In fact, I’m really happy that you chose to have your first intimate relationship with me.”
Junkyu then crossed his forearms together over the counter, burying his face against them as if trying to hide from me, his voice muffled.
”What did you say, Kyu?”
”I said I saved myself for you, I’ve only jerked myself off with my hands thinking about you or dry humping my pillow thinking of all sorts of lewd things that you would do to me! Ahh, this is so embarrassing, fuck!”
I only looked at him with so much love and desire from his confession that I felt as if my head was about to explode. Also, my cock was throbbing so painfully now when I heard his words that I continued to add the third finger in, making him cry out at the sudden stretch.
”Shh…baby, it’s okay. I’ll fuck you so well tonight and I’ll make sure not to disappoint you ever again, Kyu.”
”Hngh, Yoshi please— ahhh!” He cried again when my fingers finally found his sweet spot, and I smiled as I heard his moans finally transformed from pain to pleasure, his hips now rubbing desperately against my pelvis as my pulsating cock throbbed excruciatingly within his cleft.
”T-That feels so good Yosh, so fucking good, nngh… please don’t ever stop,” Junkyu pleaded. I really couldn’t take it anymore so I removed my fingers as I guided my cock against his rim, teasing him slowly… in and out, in and out— only the bulbous head penetrated him slowly. And I got the intended effect as Junkyu began to mewl desperately, pushing his butt cheeks towards me as he tried to make me go deeper.
“Please, please Yoshinori… I-I want more. Fill me in, share with me cause I need it right now. I-I need you, baby please.”
”Oh, Kyu…,” I only managed to say that as I plunged myself in, steadying his waist as I began my deep and slow strokes. Junkyu was still so incredibly tight, clenching hard against me that I had to stop midway— groaning as I felt his insides gripping me, as if he never wanted to let me go.
”K-Kyu, you need to relax baby, let me in… okay?”
“P-Please, d-do something Yoshi. Don’t s-stop, I need you.”
I pushed myself further in as I aligned myself against his body, his long legs quivering like jelly against my own, so I held his slim tummy with my palm, stroking his lower abdomen to encourage him to relax as I tilted his chin towards me and captured his lips against mine.
”I won’t stop, baby cat, don’t worry. Kiss me.”
Junkyu whimpered as he pushed his tongue into me, his hunger evident as he kissed me open mouthed, his saliva dribbling down his neck and I reciprocated by plunging further into him until I reached his hardened bump. When he began to arch his back, I knew he felt it as his painful moans turned into rapture, bucking his hips into mine.
“This… this feels so good, Yoshinori, I-I knew it. All t-those waiting, all those suffering—ahnn is s-so worth it, nngh!” He cried as he straightened his elbows against the counter ledge, effectively pushing himself against me, swallowing me whole in its glorious entirety.
”F-Fuck, Kyu… you make me so crazy for you. You’re so beautiful, so sexy, so damn delicious…argh,” I growled as I pulled his tummy further in. When I felt my own bulge moving against my hand, under his skin, I almost lost my head. And so did he as he began babbling things I couldn’t understand. I then wrapped my hand around his cock, stroking him faster and faster, my thrust deeper and more desperate— in tandem with him, crying out in ecstasy as he impaled himself around me again and again… and again.
“Y-Yoshi, I feel funny… it’s— it’s like my tummy is breaking into butterflies— ahnn, d-don’t stop. It feels so fucking good, ah ah ah!”
”I won’t baby, I won’t let go. But you can, you can let it out. Don’t s-stop yourself,” and I bit his neck as I gripped his hardened cock, stroking him faster— my thumb rubbing circles into his tiny slit, already dripping wet with precum.
When he let out a piercing cry of pleasure, I watched him explode into my hand, splattering his release against his chest and all over the counter and it was so hot that I almost, almost came myself.
Junkyu then began to lose his strength immediately after, I could feel him turn soft as his legs wobbled precariously so I flipped him over and hugged him close against me, not giving him a chance to catch up as I began to kiss him ravenously.
”Put your arms and legs around me, baby. We’re not done yet.”
“W-Wha—? Yoshinori? Where are we going, nngh!”
I didn’t answer as I held him close, my cock still in him, his cum now dripping all over my chest and tummy as his cock was still spurting weakly against my skin. I brought him to the staff room at the back as I kicked the door close and dumped him on the sofa bed.
We’re both still wearing our respective tops although mine is currently so wet the fabric clung onto my body so I simply ripped it off, it was a cheap t-shirt anyway. Junkyu, on the other hand, was still wearing his white Supreme hoodie and in my haste, the hood was now back on his head, making him look so virginal (not anymore) and innocent that I almost came there and then.
Junkyu looked at me as I bent one of my knees and hooked my elbows under his knees before hoisting his legs over my shoulders. He then tried to remove his hoodie before I stopped him.
”Keep it on Kyu. I wanna fuck you like this. Just. Like. This.”
“Why— ahh ahh ahh!”
I didn’t give him the chance to argue as I lifted his waist higher and began to fuck him fast and hard, the back of his knees against my shoulders, the angle made his prostate far more accessible than before and it showed as he began wailing desperately, fresh tears streaming down his face like an endless river, and I thought to myself how absolutely gorgeous he looked, so damned beautiful— just for me.
“Look at me, Kyu. Look at me and say my name.”
”Ahhn— Y-Yoshi!” He then screamed my name loudly as he came again, his clenching around me so powerful that I reached my climax as well, but I kept going, fucking him again and again as I watched my seed dripping out of him, sticky and filthy— until I couldn’t go any further, finally collapsing against him.
He then turned to look at me, his chubby cheeks puffed up, glowing in the aftermath of our carnal pleasure as he held my face before bringing me close to him again. I was so tired that I almost passed out, but the last thing I remembered was him looking at me so tenderly as he pressed his lips against mine, telling me that he loved me.
————-
“Yoshi?”
“Hm?”
“Is this considered a one-night stand?”
“I dunno, Kyu. Do you want to see me again?”
“This is the most I’ve talked to a human that I’ve ever done, at least for this year.”
“And do you like it?”
“…”
“Kyu?”
“I think I like it. A lot.”
“Will you do it again? To any other human?”
“… no.”
“Will you do it if it’s me?”
“In one short night, you’ve shown me the wonders of human connection. So, my answer is, yes.”
(Junkyu’s POV)
I then looked at his handsome face, gazing into his piercing blue eyes and I was convinced that he was indeed telling me the truth, which I never once doubted anyway. It was so cramped in this tiny room, and the fact that we’re both of almost the same height— huddled together on this old sofa bed made that fact even more glaring. And yet, it was also the most romantic and comfortable place I’d ever been, beating all those expensive five-star hotels that had been a permanent fixture in my life simply due to the fact that Yoshi was now with me— his arms were really the place I’d wanted to call home.
”Kyu?”
”Yes?”
”When I told Shin that I love him, I really meant it.”
“When did you know it was me?”
”I think it was the time when you guessed I was in the toilet out back, in our DMs haha.”
”That’s disgusting though,” I replied as I wrinkled my nose, and pouted my lips as I frowned at him, but I couldn’t help but smile after, as he caught my chin and leaned over for a simple kiss.
“I also heard what you told me last night, just before we both passed out.”
”Y-You did?”
”Yeah. I already told you what Yox felt and I’ll tell you again. I love you Kim Junkyu, for so, so long.”
”I know.”
***
(Yoshi’s POV)
BANG BANG BANG!
“Sh-shit! Are they here already?” I gasped as I woke up with a start at the incessant banging on the staff room door. I then turned to wake Junkyu up, but the big baby just grunted unhappily as he pushed my hand away and turned to face the sofa backrest, refusing to be bothered.
I sighed as I pulled up my cargo shorts, forgoing any top as I saw my ruined t-shirt lying crumpled on the floor.
The banging got louder and when I heard laughter and snickering outside, I just knew who was now trying to disturb my peace and quiet.
”I said hold up already!” I hollered as I quickly slipped on Junkyu’s bare bottom with his boxers, but I couldn’t help but pinch his jiggly ass as I did so, causing him to whine in protest even in his sleep.
When I finally opened the door however, there was nobody there except a square white box on a food trolley that suspiciously looked like the dessert serving trolley from the cafe next door.
Puzzled, I then opened the box, revealing a chocolate cake with ugly writing in red icing:
“Congratulations On Your First Fuck! It’s Been A Long Time Coming”
I just sat there as I burned in mortification when Junkyu suddenly shuffled next to me, peering to see what the fuss was all about. I knew what was going to happen next so I stuck my fingers into my ears, just before Junkyu let out an ear-splitting shriek reminiscent of a long dead prehistoric animal.
”PARK JIHOON!!!”
THE END.