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Chim looked at Buck as he made his way towards the ladder, and he felt the need to shout over the rain. "Hey! Where do you think your going? I got this."
Buck smiled at him. "Ah, no way. You got the last one." You put one hand on Bucks shoulder and squeezed so that he looked back at you, rain falling over the three of you on ladder duty.
"Nope, I'm going." You smiled.
"What? Why?" Buck complained, an honestly adorable frown and pout on his face.
"Do you really want me to throw your helmet down? Get off." You strapped yourself to the ladder with the red fabric and started to make your way up, chuckling as Buck complained to Chim. Still, Chim told Buck that you hadn't gone up the ladder in a really long time, usually driving the firetruck or helping in menial tasks.
The way up was loud, would it make sense since you were technically closer to the lightning now? It was also hard to get up there without slipping on the medal, maybe this would be the last time you went up the ladder. It took a toll on your back, and you weren't even all that old.
When you finally reached the top, the water came barreling out of the hose and you pointed it to the nearest fire. Pretty quickly though, you realized that something was wrong, but you couldn't put your finger on it. You looked up at the sky and frowned through the stormy water pouring on you.
We're the clouds... blue? It looked like they were charging up or something—
And like nothing else you had ever experienced, a mind numbing pain fell over your body as it all went white, then black. It felt like fire ants were crawling all over your body. The feeling you get when you eat too much of that processed wasabi and your head feels like it wants to explode or come off. That, but all over.
And then, it truly went dark.
—
Buck flew back as the lightning hit his hands, landing on his back with a thump. Still, the only concern right now was you. You, who had fallen forward and were now hanging off the ladder like a sick game of hanged man. He had never stood up so quickly, running towards you, Chim closely behind him. When he finally got to you he wanted to cry, to beg, start mourning because... how high was the chance that you survived this?
But instead he pressed two fingers to your throat. Nothing. No heartbeat, not breathing. Hell, your body was already cold. Though his logical side told him that that was obviosuly due to the rain and wind, not because your blood had completely stopped pumping. It would take a few minutes until you would be cold due to that.
The rest was a blur of getting you down, starting cpr, and getting you to a hospital. They couldn't even restart your heart because the lightning had messed that one up. Buck felt his knees buckle as he kept on pumping air at your lower face, pressing the hard plastic ball over and over again. Would you really die now? After so long? He couldn't imagine his life or work without you.
When he had gotten to the 118, you had been the one his eyes gravitated towards before he even looked at Bobby. Starting to eat dinner while Bobby played a small joke on him, not even waiting for your captain because apparently you were "too damn hungry to let the food get cold over a rookie like him."
It had made him laugh back then, it would make him laugh now too, but he was starring at your more or less lifeless body while the ambulance rocked him back and forth. Hen was there and so was Chim, trying and coming up with no other solution other than getting to the hospital in time. Their concern for Buck was obvious in their eyes, taking small peeks at him and his pale expression.
You'd make it. You had to.
—
One moment it was dark, then you were standing in the firehouse, as if nothing had happened. Chim walked past you and clapped your shoulder once as he walked by. "Morning, cap."
"Cap?" You muttered and turned around. What the hell did he mean, 'cap'? It was true, you were being considered for the position of captain while that asshole was leaving the 118, but it had never made it through because... because Bobby had arrived. Yeah, something was wrong.
"Uh, Chim... quick question with no questions back." You walked after him while he went up the stairs, likely to eat his lunch.
"Sure. What is it?" He looked back a bit confused but he didn't seem to want to press.
"Do you know a Robert Nash?"
Chim didn't stop, which meant that the question didn't shake him up. Which likely meant that he didn't really know him. "Uh, kinda. I think that he was considered for the role of acting captain but he.. uhm." He lowered his voice. "Killed himself."
Your eyes became the size of saucer plates. "What?"
"Yeah, since his family died and so many others. Put the blame on him since he accidently started that fire. Or... that's what the news said back then." He shrugged. "Sad for him. I mean, I don't know what I would have done if that was me."
You stopped following him and instead looked around. Hen was already at the counter, drinking some coffee and now striking up a conversation with Chim. Eddie was luckily also there, on the couch reading a magazine and looking confused about what was written in it. Then that left... Buck.
"Ed." He looked up immediately. This authority thing was growing on you. "Where's Buck?"
"Uh, I think he wanted to get something from his locker but that was..." He looked at his watch. "Fifteen minutes ago." Eddie shrugged and you turned around to go down the stairs. You wondered how Buck had changed in this weird... dreamscape? Parallel universe? A simple dream?
Bobby had set him straight, made him an... honest man? Nah, he had made him just a man. You had made him an honest one with your no nonsense. Hopefully he wouldn't be a slutty, cocky jerk here. Chim and Hen seemed the same, so did Eddie. Could Buck also be?
"Buckley." You walked into the locker space, and he immediately turned around, hiding something behind his back. What was that about?
"Yes, cap?" God, that look in his eyes. The way his eyes shimmered with admiration and his light breathlessness? It made you want to really kiss him right about now. Which you had wanted in the real world for quite some time but had never trusted that Buck would find you all that interesting. The man went through relationships like you went through shoes, new ones every season.
"What's that you're hiding?" You tilted your head as your hands found their way to your hips. The sweat basically and comically fell off of his forehead. It was funny to see him scramble.
"Nothing."
"Cmon, Buck. We've been friends for quite a bit." You said 'quite a bit' because you did not know the timeline here. How long ago had Buck joined? You and him had hit it up about a month after he joined, and that was mostly due to some of your own personal issues that made you distracted. Buck for a long time had believed that he was the problem in the beginning, too much of this, too little of that. When he had told you that you'd felt awful and had explained it to him, so that he could feel less awful.
"Alright. But you can't tell anyone, alright?" He smiled, like a teenager about to reveal his crush.
"Yeah, yeah. Spit it out."
He revealed what seemed to be a... box? No... he couldn't be getting engaged. Damn it! Not even in fantasy were the two of you together. You were lightly pissed but did not show it, instead, you embraced your inner Bobby. Your displeased inner Bobby.
"Is it what I think it is?" You raised an eyebrow and he opened up the box. It was a beautiful ring, all silver and likely lab made diamonds. Real pretty for his special someone. But who was it?
"How do you like it?" He asked.
"Real pretty. Uh, tell me again... who are you proposing to?"
He looked a bit confused. "Abby, of course." Buck looked a bit unsure, or maybe like you'd gone crazy. Then again, when he had been with Abby, he didn't really bring her around much and you only heard about her second-hand from him. Which admittedly wasn't very often.
"Ah, right! Sorry, forgot her name for a second there. Well, I'm really happy for you. You'll do great. How do you plan on proposing?" You went and sat down on the bench beside him, and he sat down next to you.
"It's like a private restaurant, separate rooms and everything but basically still a restaurant. I know she doesn't really like public acts of love like... well, this big. So I thought It'd be nice. You know?"
"It's really great."
Very suddenly, you got a weird sense of heartburn, or like someone was choking you. You put a hand to your chest and tried to breathe in through your mouth, that's when Buck got tense. He put a hand between your shoulder blades and got closer to you.
"You alright, cap?"
"Uh, yeah—yeah." You coughed, but it didn't really help. You felt like you were drowning and dying and it really was getting really hard to breathe right about now—
—
Buck sat beside their bed, he hadn't slept in far too long. More or less the last four days they had been on the bed. He wanted to kiss their eyelids and stroke their hair and tell them that everything would be alright. But he simply couldn't look at their face with that tube shoved down their throat. It just looked... wrong.
Buck and the 118 had a whole lot of incidents, but they were more used to being out and about on the streets. Always saving, never being the one needing the saving. And especially_________ didn't need any type of saving. As headstrong as a bull and sly as a fox, they always got themselves out of tricky situations with the snap of their fingers.
Like when the tsunami hit and while Buck was trying his best to stay alive, what with the blood thinners, they were out there in all of their civilian glory trying to get people into safety without any regard of their own. It was like they were invincible or maybe just a bit naive. That was ________ for you.
What got him out of his thoughts was a slight jerk of their hand, a twitch which then became a full on spasm. Suddenly their BP started dropping rapidly and while nurses rushed to help them, Buck was forced out of the room. Of course, he understood why he had to stay outside. Because he would get in the way, but still... that was his friend and his most stable crush so far since he's been in LA.
After everything settled down, and ________ was in the clear again, Buck sat right back down beside them. Another long night ahead.
—
Hen pointed a light at your eyes which finally snapped you out of it and you tilted your head upwards again. The whole firehouse was behind the glass that separated the main room from the locker, aside from your team. Chim and Eddie were standing behind a crouching Hen, while Buck held your hand.
"I'm sorry, guys. I'm fine, back to whatever you were doing." Everyone aside from your very close friends left, assured now that you weren't shaking or seemingly choking.
"You good?" Hen asked and you signed with your hand for her to stand up.
"I'm fine. Just... I guess I had a moment. I'll be fine."
"What, like a panic attack?" Eddie asked, arms crossed. Here comes his over protective nature that wants to father everyone.
"It wasn't a panic attack—"
Hen stopped you. "Oh, it most certainly was." Her face showed no-nonsense, and you wondered why this dream didn't let the big alarms ring through the speakers. This really was pretty unrealistic, or maybe too realistic.
"Alright, alright. Maybe so. I don't know what brought this on, I'll just go and get a cup of water and I'll be fine." You finally stood up and walked away, Chim and Eddie parting for you. This authority thing was really growing on you, but thank everything that you weren't captain in the actual world. And also thank Bobby that he made Hen a replacement captain in case of emergencies because this whole thing was turning out to be too much for you.
You drank a cup of water and remarked about how real this all felt. But with this thought came another, what the hell was going on in the real world?
—
Bobby put a heavy hand on Bucks shoulder. "You should go rest, Buck. You've done enough for tonight. And the previous nights." He gave a smile. Athena was right beside him, holding her black purse close to her body.
"I can't just leave, cap—"
"Oh I'm not telling you to leave. There are rooms for... 'dear ones'. Where they can sleep. Ask for one and come back in six hours."
Buck sighed but stood up from the chair, stretching. "Six hours is generous."
Bobby tilted his head this and that way. "More like, six hours of not watching your friend unconscious. Six hours of rest. Six hours where you think about yourself and not—"
"Alright, alright. Got it." He chuckled and started leaving the room, but before he could, Athena placed a gentle hand on his cheek.
"Go and eat something too. There's a small grocery store a block away, get at least a sandwich. You look frail." Buck had never been mothered much by Athena, at least not like how Maddie was used to, but it was kinda nice.
"Ouch, frail? Can't have anyone think that." He chuckled and hugged Athena, she patted his back before he left. She watched after him as he left the floor and likely the hospital. Hopefully the hospital.
"Such a sweet yet dumb boy."
Bobby laughed. "Sounds about right for Buck." He pulled up a separate chair for Athena from the side of the room, and she sat on it, putting her purse on the ground beside her. Bobby sat down too, the seat still warm from Buck.
"Are you alright?" Athena asked after a while, to which Bobby turned his head to her. His eyes had a thin sheet of unshed tears ready to go, but he didn't want to cry infront of your unconscious body. He felt like that would take from you, because you were the one at deaths door, not him. You were the one suffering and you should be the one crying for your situation, not him. He didn't want to make it about him. Of course, he knew it was quite an unrational thought. He could cry and you wouldn't know nor care, because you were that kind of person.
And every time he wanted to cry he remembered why. Your limp body hanging loosely and lightning behind you, making a scene in the background. It looked like you had hanged yourself and he really didn't want to think about that. Because you wouldn't, you had promised him you wouldn't try and do such a thing again after last time. But maybe you'd let go, just so that you could finally leave and be at peace.
"Bobby, don't think so much." Athena placed a soft hand on his shoulder and he took a shaky breath in. "They'll be fine, they have to be. You know how strong they are."
He nodded and looked back to your body, a plastic tube disturbing the otherwise peaceful scene of you sleeping on white bedsheets. It was always weird to see someone unconscious on a hospital bed, they always looked so at peace within the moment but inside there was a war being waged. Mind and heart and body fighting to either die or stay alive.
He hoped that at least your mind was strong enough to choose to stay alive.
—
You were starting to hear voices, which lead to you driving to the hospital. Your 'shift' had ended and you had little else to do. Those voices were definitely Buck, Bobby, and Athena conversing, likely over your unconscious body.
Why were you unconscious again? You had barely even questioned why you were in this strange realm. Ugh, fire... lightning. Ah! The ladder, right. Man, the one time you wanted to climb up the ladder it struck you right down. Maybe it was a sign to never go on it again, which you had already planned on doing, so it didn't exactly throw a wrench into your life.
You had to try and find... something. A way out, you could feel that something was wrong. Nervousness due to no other reason other than the knowledge that you were likely in a coma.
—
Hen and Karen visited at around the same time as Chim and Maddie did. Hen had had a bit of a mental breakdown after seeing her longtime friend hanging like a limp doll and Karen had to comfort her multiple times throughout the last seven evenings. Chim wasn't better, recounting the conversation he had had with Buck on the engine, about how it was their turn to go up the ladder. If only he had gone up instead, not crumbled under the two younger firemen.
"Hey!" Maddie waved at them as they walked through the door, smiling despite her eyebags. Hen assumed that she was in the same position as Karen was with her. Only for Chim. "How are you guys?"
"Relatively good." Karen responded, seeing as how both Chim and Hen were pretty down and their respective wives noticed.
"What did you guys bring?" Maddie tried doing small talk, even though she hated it a bunch.
"Oh, some flowers, you know. Hopefully they wake up before these rot away." Karen chuckled as she threw the last set of flowers into a trash can and went to get some new water with the vase.
Hen and Chim shared a look, a long and miserable one, at that. Maddie felt like she was suffocating.
"Where's Buck? He hadn't left the last time I saw him." Hen started, looking at Maddie, not expecting Chim to want to answer.
He did, regardless. "Went for a bit of a break. Hasn't left the hospital, we brought him some clothes from his place." Hen nodded just as Karen walked in with a new set of flowers.
"Hen," Chim started, "they're talking about putting them off the ventilator, to see if they can breathe on their own." His expression was drawn and grim, Karen felt really bad for both of them, her wife and Chim. And, of course, the respective unconscious person in the room.
"I guess they have to, so that they can see what they can do next in case they don't breathe." Hen sighed and scratched her neck.
They stayed for another hour until Buck came back, then they left them in his care again.
—
You had found a room, a room in which your body was on a bed and Buck was sitting beside you. A big tube went down your throat and you felt your own constricting, but pushed that feeling down. As soon as you started to panic the beeping got faster and Buck looked up, even more worried. You didn't want that.
A person came in. What was weird was that, you couldn't really well see anyone. It was all blurry, like someone had left a smudge on a window and you were trying to look through said smudge. That, just your entire vision. Which made sense, considering that you were just looking with your ears and not your eyes.
"Alright." That was the doctor, you could tell from the white coat. How you knew he had a white coat on? No one could tell you.
They started the process of taking out the tube out of your mouth, likely to see if you could breathe without it. What if you didn't—
The effect was immediate, you felt like all of your airflow was cut off. Your lungs weren't expanding and the beeping got just a bit faster. It was so loud—too loud. It felt like your head was gonna explode—
"How much longer? They can't breathe." You heard Buck say, obviously aggravated. Too angry considering his usual demeanor. Likely because he didn't get much sleep, you could see him staying with you as much as he physically could.
"Just a few seconds more, then we can put them on the ventilator again."
The seconds felt like torture, and you thought back to the worst day of your life. That day you had left your home, run away to LA to follow big and stupid dreams only for them to be crushed under the boots of rich, old people. How you had to pick up the broken shards of your life and put them back together, the whole time struggling due to the training to become a firefighter after one stupid dream you had had one night.
Along with thinking of the past came past memories flashing in your brain for no apparent reason.
The day you met Hen and told her to not let those bastards from the 118 hold her back, that they would eventually come to respect her and she them.
The day you and Chim got together and he cried on your shoulder because his brother had died, how you had to hold him together.
The day Bobby came along and you could immediately tell that he had a deep sadness in him, but instead of talking to him about it you decided to create better memories for him too look back on.
The day Eddie came by your house because you were sick and decided to take care of you on his off day, since everyone else was at work and he was a goddamn angel.
The day you and Buck got really drunk and he opened up about his family, how scared he was and how you could do nothing but hug him and stroke his hair and tell him that it was all alright now.
Your reasons to live, that's what was flashing in front of your eyes now.
You took a breath.
—
Buck almost cried when they took in a breath. Such a simple thing that made him full of hope. Ecstatic breaths of relief befell the small room, and even the doctor and nurses seemed pleased. The doctor talked to Bobby about the proceedings after all this, but Buck couldn't listen.
Buck finally cried.
—
When your eyes slowly opened up, it was blurry and you were quite parched. It felt like your mouth was full of flavorless cotton candy, and you smacked your lips and swallowed away the dryness. Unbeknownst to you, a nurse was checking up on you and turned a surprised head to you.
"How are you?" She smiled, her ponytail swinging around. You looked around the room with confusion, trying to take everything in. It felt hard to speak, but it would be rude not to answer.
"Fine. Water." You looked around the nightstands. She quickly set to motion and got you a cup, which you drank two of before you were satisfied.
"I'm glad you're already so lively. Your loved ones are taking a break currently, but they'll likely be back within the hour." She gave a last smile before she walked to the door. "There is a button next to your left hand, in case you need anything. Have a good day." With a final smile she left.
You had a bit of a migrane, but aside from that and your whole body feeling like it went through a full body workout session, you were doing fine. Surprising, considering the lightning. Everything happens for a reason though, aye? Maybe the reason was to save Buck, or Chim, or both. To take the brunt of it all. Like always.
After a long while just laying there with your eyes closed, familiar voices rang from the hallway.
"Yeah, and she even went down the slide all by herself. Even if she has a fear of heights." That's Chim, likely talking about Jee-Yun. He really did like the kid a lot, and you did too when you sometimes babysitted her with Buck.
"That's my neice, overcoming all." Bucks proud voice got closer until he was at the door. You slightly opened up your eyes but no one noticed, you were quite sneaky. It was only your team, no wives or kids. Good, you didn't want many people to see you like this, though you assumed a lot of them already had.
"Heyy, guys." You chuckled, and made everyone collectively jump before everyone rushed to your bed.
"Oh my god, __________, are you alright?" Bobby was at your feet, none of his usual smiles on his face.
"Quite fine. Bit sore." You murmered and burrowed further into the bed. "That's what I get for trying to actually get in on the action. Nothing but lightning."
Buck moved your hair out of the way for you, and then let his hand stay by your ear. He was so warm, almost too much. Or maybe you were just plain cold. You felt cold.
"All that matters is that you're awake again. You gave us... such a scare." Buck breathed out, a barely there smile on his lips. You gave one back.
"Not much I could do. Aside from saving you, if course."
Buck looked confused. "Saving me?"
"Yoy wanted to go up the ladder. If I hadn't stopped you than you would be the one on this bed right now."
He laughed a bit, and so did the rest because... it was so like you to mention that you saved someone and not talk about the fact that you nearly died.
"Did I actually die though?" You asked.
Hen answered. "Yeah. 4 minutes."
"Damn." You hit your head back on the pillow. "Well, I'm back. I just hope I can leave this bed soon and get back out with you guys."
"Ah ah, you're not going anywhere near a firetruck for three weeks minimum." Bobby scolded. You pouted because it was Bobby and you were you and you were kinda like his child by now.
"Bobbyyy..." You bemoaned but he didn't give. The rest of the crew chuckled, and Bobby smiled. "That's what I get for trying to be a good friend."
After a few more words exchanged, everyone left you to rest. Everyone aside from Buck. He would not stray, like a loyal dog.
"You can leave now, Buck. I'll be fine."
"I'll be more comfortable here."
"Watching me sleep? Creep." He chuckled and you were grateful that you could make him smile. "Thank you. For staying. You didn't have to and yet you did."
"How did you know? That I stayed, I mean."
"You're Buck." You breathed out a laugh. "And I could sometimes hear you. Talking."
"You could?" He looked a bit surprised.
"Buck, I really like you." You finally admitted. He looked taken aback by the sudden change of topic. "This whole thing really did make me realize that... I likely won't get another chance and we can't stretch our time together. We only have limited time with eachother. I want to love you for as long as I'm able to."
He had tears in his eyes and smiled while looking towards the ground. Slowly, Buck lifted his head, his eyes clearer. "I really like you too."
[The End]