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Inukai is posing at the open door of the strategy room when she gets there. “Kitora-chan, here for the meet with the Cap?”
Ai greets him politely and lets him take the gift bag of snacks she brought; Hatohara-senpai was nice enough to give advice on the contents.
The squad room is not as plain as she expected; thr top-shelf is lined dinosaurs and planes and a crocheted tapestry hangs over the Operator desk.
Inukai waves her towards the table where Ninomiya is seated, discussing with Hiyami. Hatohara gives her a shy wave but Tsuji squirrels away before she can greet him.
“Well?” Ninomiya begins, one leg crossed over the other. “You wanted to exchange defence shifts with me. Why?”
Ai sits upright, her legs crossed in her chair, remembering what Netsuki said about mirroring.
“Yes. I have already talked it over with my squad captain and he’s permitted me. A review session for a topic I need to improve at clashes with my shift.”
“The Great Kitora is having school trouble?” Inukai snaps open a fizzy drink from the bag.
“It’s not ‘school trouble’,” she clarifies. ”And I said it’s simply a review session that I wish to attend.”
“What’s the topic? Addition?”
Hiyami gives an apologetic look to Kitora.
Ninomiya does one better. “Inukai, for the next twenty minutes pretend you’re a proper senior.”
He salutes but it’s probably not sincere. “I could tutor you, Kitora-chan.”
“That won’t be necessary, senpai. I don’t have problems with Math. This was an English class and I just need to attend the review.” She turns to Ninomiya. “All other times available clash with my PR duties and other Border events and I had tried exchanging with some other Gunners and Attackers but none of those times worked either.”
“Do you understand why the admin schedules older agents during that time of the morning?”
Ai nods.
“And do you know it is four hours long?”
Ai falters. She had hoped he wouldn't bring it up. Shifts were typically 2 hours long but some squads were on Away Missions and that meant longer shifts.
Ai simply said the truth: “I can handle it.”
Ninomiya didn’t give any discernible change in his expression. “Get admin approval first then I’ll exchange with you.”
“No school today, Ai-chan?” Grandmother smiled at her as she came down the staircase. She was seated at the couch beside Grandfather, a novel in hand with her notepad open to a clean page.
Ai returned the smile with her greeting. “I’ll be at school today but I have a Team Meeting first. Netsuki-san gave us replicas of our uniforms so we can use them without having to be in our trion bodies for long.”
“I’ve always been suspect of this trion thing,” Grandfather snapped open the next page of his newspaper and Ai grimaces a bit. “Anything you can’t do for too long should be suspect.”
“Father, you shouldn’t stay in water for too long; are baths suspect?” Mother came out of the study and kissed Ai’s head while Grandfather scolded her for her poor analogy.
“Don’t mind him,” her mother said in a faux-whisper before saying “Your disposition is charming today,” out loud.
Ai hadn't wanted to mention it out loud but she did wake up in a very good mood. It’s simply wonderful to have all your plans align and then a whole day to watch them come into fruition.
She had already rearranged her planner for today: Team Meeting in the morning, classes and lunch with her friends, early dinner with her family, then schoolwork, and if all went smoothly she would still have time to try a new Sichuan recipe she stumbled upon.
Her mother walked her to the bus as they talked about the local news. At HQ, Arashiyama brought dango along to thank the team for their hard work lately and she was able to help Ayatsuji with a new training method.
The day just kept getting better and better. Even lunch met her expectations. Lately, she had just enough time to eat and say ‘Bye!’ to her friends before Border duties called. Not today! It was the most fun lunch she had at a school in a while.
Then hitch came at 11 PM. Ai kept dozing off.
She was at Madoka’s room at HQ, working through schoolwork in her regular body so she didn’t overuse trion. Her parents knew she was staying over at a friend in Border HQ but thought it was just a sleepover and not preparation for a shift.
Her family wouldn’t understand all Ai needed to do to fulfill her duties and she didn’t want her parents arguing with Grandfather again.
Madoka paused her game to wake Ai up. “Can’t believe you can fall asleep after that spicy meal.” She pats her stomach.
It was true that Ai was tired. She had been awake all day and 10 PM was her typical bedtime.
She stretched her arms.
“Kitora-chan,” the light of the save screen dances on Madoka’s face. “What are your trion body feeling settings?”
“It’s at 2 so I don’t get surprised by limb loss.”
“If you come with me I could tinker with the settings to get them down to zero. That way, you can use it to stay awake without feeling anything at all.”
“Thank you for the offer Madoka-senpai,” she replies, feeling grateful, “but then I would have to wake you up again so I can get my settings returned to what I’m used to.”
Madoka tapped her fingers. “True. However,” she raises a finger, “the settings use a marginal amount of trion to respond to your surroundings and connect you to your internal state. If you’re conserving trion, turning it off would be good.”
“It’s not that I’m afraid of running out of trion - my levels are standard now - I’m just thinking in terms of quality and what I’m used to.”
Madoka stalks over to her, putting her chin atop her head. “I can’t believe you’re up at 11 to study ?”
Ai shrugs. “I can get ahead of work and that makes things easier down the line.”
“Kitora-chan,” her chin wiggles on her head. “It’s a Friday night.”
In Ai’s opinion, sociocultural norms aside, using arbitrary days as a reason to avoid the discipline needed in life was inefficient. It would just create a pattern that in turn leads to a life that could slip away from you.
She said as much to her senior but nicer and politely because Madoka clearly believed it. The other girl just laughed then laughed and laughed.
She ended up needling Kitora into reading Sailor Moon with her.
“I project it to my TV sometimes so it’s really large!” was enough convincing. They stayed awake together long enough for Madoka to see her out of the dorms although not to the Forbidden Zone because Ai didn’t want her walking back alone.
The starting point for tonight was a house almost at the edge of the Forbidden Zone. It should feel creepy coming here alone especially because she’s never done that before but there’s nothing to fear here.
All the fear was in the past and left behind with the furniture, the kitchenware, books and clothes, wants and plans of the people who could no longer live in these homes.
There’s a light in the house she’s supposed to go to; trion lamps matching ones in the other watch points along the Zone. This house has a crumbling hole in its corner large enough that she can see her seniors milling about.
Ai knocks at the door regardless and waits for permission to come in. The first person to see her gasps.
“You’re much littler at night!”
It’s Kako. She’s part of the 10 PM - 2 AM shift and Ai wonders briefly if she was here too early. Ignoring the rubble, the living room has a fairly standard build. The upright shelves next to a TV stand her dad would have liked are empty - the family must have been allowed to take their knickknacks. There are leather armchairs shifted to the walls, a very dirty rug and a bluish cloth couch right in the center.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Toma is suddenly in front of her, bending to peer into her face. “You’re the Attacker after us?”
Ai greets them both and corrects Toma. “I’m taking a Gunner role this shift.”
But he’s not listening, instead conferring with Kako that Ai did indeed look smaller late at night.
“Oh?” It’s Kakizaki, coming in from outside. “Kitora, good evening. What are you doing here?”
“She’s replacing Ninomiya this shift,” Kazama switches to his trion body as he walks in then walks out through the broken open end of the house. “Does no one look at the schedule?”
“You replaced Ninomiya?!” Kako’s voice takes on a pitch and she clutches Ai. “Oh you little darling, thank you.”
“She doesn’t look very comfortable, Kako-san, do you mind letting her go?” Kakizaki says, amused.
Ai gets squished even more. Maybe she should have let Madoka turn down her settings.
“It seems we have a full house.”
Ai can’t tell who just spoke but Kako spins her away suddenly.
“Captain!” She says. “I see you more often on campus than I do at HQ.”
“Really?” Azuma smiles at her. “I haven’t seen you on campus at all.”
“Exactly my point.”
“Azuma-san!” Toma comes up to him and claps his shoulder. “I marked a spot on the roof. Good vantage point. Easy to see, can’t miss it.”
“Thank you, Toma, that’s very helpful.”
With his expression, Ai can’t tell if he’s joking or not but Toma takes the response with a smile and switches off his trigger. It’s a little surprising - she’s never seen him without the pompadour. He’s in a plain white t-shirt and sweatpants and he fishes a pillow out from nowhere, flopping down on the couch.
Kako wrinkles her nose. “You cannot be serious.”
“Don’t worry Azuma-san will wake me up, won’t you, Azuma-san?”
Azuma walks away shaking his head. “Go home, Toma.”
“I concur,” Kako says and gives Ai’s head one more pat as she leaves.
Suddenly, she feels out of place. Kakizaki had left at a pint and the feeling of this once-loved house settled on her.
No matter. Ai squares her shoulders. The only difference in this duty is the time of day. And the lack of her team. But the job is the same.
Stay at the gate hotspots. Move if need be. Eliminate Neighbours.
“So, Honour Roll.”
She’d almost forgotten someone else was here.
“Netsuki allowed this?” Toma raises an eyebrow above his sleep mask but doesn’t take it off.
“Yes. For a puff piece about defence shifts.”
“So you’re taking on more work so you can stay up to work.” The eyebrow goes up even higher.
“Umm? Yes?” Ai had thought the piece would be fun.
Toma shakes his head. “Could not be me.”
The door slams open and Ai jumps. It’s Kako. In a purple plaid outfit. Her boots clack on the floor as she rushes in.
“I forgot to show you where to start!”
The patterns the trion soldiers had shown during the prior shifts weren’t too complicated. The only issue was how close to the edge of the Emergence Zones the gates had been opening.
“We’re keeping track for the Engineering team,” Kako had said. “Make sure you report the spots to - who’s the operator for this shift?”
“Kittaka-san,” Ai replied and Kako nodded approvingly. Then tried to recruit both of them at the same time.
It had been mostly Bamsters all night which was a cause for concern given where they were showing up. No one else said anything about it to the comms so Ai didn’t either.
Warnings for the new gates are working smoothly so they’re there when a Bander starts to crawl out. Azuma shoots its power source cleanly before it can release a beam and it dies midway with half its body hanging out of the gate. There’s a crunch and a screech as the trion soldiers behind it are wedged by its heft.
“Interesting,” Kittaka laughs. “The signatures read ‘incoming’ so stay aler -“
Marmods burst out from behind and through it.
Ai gets to work trapping and shooting them, stalling the advance and Kazama follows, making clean work of the soldiers.
The gate shuts suddenly. The Bander slices out and for a moment Ai can’t move.
She knows she should move. She knows how to. The path is in her mind.
But static runs through her body. Her trion body.
It’s buzzing when the halved Bander falls on her.
“Kitora!”
Her name resounds in the comms. It’s nearly enough to give her a headache but she shouldn’t have one. Not in this form, not with these settings.
A shadow falls over her. A Marmod. But she’s still disoriented, crawling out from underneath where she was flattened.
The soldier snaps to the side, a crater in its hull. The still skittering blades are sliced off in an arc of light before the rest of it gets cut in half. Azuma and Kazama had saved her.
“Are you alright, Kitora?” Kittaka asks with some disquiet. “Your trion readings glitched back there but they’re reading normal now thankfully.”
“I’m alright,” she responds.
“What was that?”
Underneath Kazama’s plain tone is some concern. Kitora can’t hide under feigned ignorance, And she won’t make them worry needlessly.
“My trion body glitched. I was tired when I switched into it.”
His expression is inscrutable.
“A trion body is not a palliative. You know that. You knew you were having an early defense shift. So you what? Stayed awake all day?”
Azuma comes to her defense in the comms. “Kitora it‘s good practice to sleep before an AM. You should have asked to make sure you knew the protocol. But we’re not scolding you for not knowing.”
“I understand,” embarrassment curdles in her. She lowers her head and apologizes to everyone including Kittaka.
“It’s okay, Kitora,” the operator responds. “Just make sure to take care of yourself.”
“Back on attention everyone,” Azuma says.
They get back to work but in a free pocket of time Kazama’s voice comes back over the comms.
“To be clear, Azuma-san may not be scolding you but I am. This was irresponsible. The shifts are taken in squads for a reason. Don’t let a trion body make you forget that you still have a physical one. ”
The sun peeks over the horizon as the shift ends, light sliding in, colouring the skies and framing the clouds.
A new day, even a Saturday, brings with it new work and Ai realizes she doesn’t feel determined. Not like usual.
“Azuma-san?” She reaches out over the comms. He’s someone with a lot of work, that much she knows. She’s hesitant to disturb him but maybe he can help her.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” she says when he responds. “But I wanted to ask for some advice. On how to manage my time.”
“Hmm,” he says at first. “My methods might not work for you - I don’t have any PR duties and at the graduate level you can mostly set your own hours.”
”Oh, I see.”
“But,” he adds. “A good rule of thumb is prioritizing yourself. I don’t mean selfishness. We all have responsibilities but there’s a point where they can become too much. You need to recognize that, and learn when to pull back or ask for accommodation.”
“I - I know. I just feel like I can do the things I need to if I just organize myself and my time better. Then I can fit it all in. Telling myself ’I should slow down’ or not do something…it seems like it would lead to slacking. And I won’t be able to fix the consequences.” Or the failures.
“I see where you’re coming from. But don’t you think taking care of yourself is also a responsibility?”
And in her head it’s like a light just turned on.
“Kitora?”
“Oh, I just,“ she clears her throat. “I just realized that.”
“Think of it like that. It might help. That way, you don’t get the short end of the stick. Although,” he gives a huff of amusement. “Knowing is a little different from doing.”
The lamps are still on back at the start house and Toma is snoring, the sleep mask over his eyes now crooked.
Ai taps his elbow. “Toma-san,” she keeps her voice low, “we’re back.”
He doesn’t budge.
She tries again and even shakes him a bit. Nothing.
“That might not work.” Azuma had been watching the whole time. “I’ve seen him fall asleep during sniper training.”
“Here, let me.” Kazama comes over and punches his arm.
Ai stifles a laugh when Toma awakes like nothing had happened, stretching & yawning.
“Already?” He mutters.
Kazama grunts and walks away.
“Go home and sleep !” Azuma tells him. Then looks to Ai and says the same but gentler.
Ai bows and thanks him, and thanks Kazama too but she doesn’t know if he heard her - he doesn’t respond.
At HQ, her mother and father are waiting for her, smiles on their faces. They all say ‘Good Morning’ to each other and Ai turns off her trigger.
Exhaustion nearly knocks her over and she’s stretched out on the cool backseat. fast asleep in no time.