Work Text:
It was supposed to be a simple in and out job. Soundwave sent Rumble and Frenzy- as well as a bot by the name of Reflector for backup- behind enemy lines to gather intel. All they had to do was sneak into the Autobot base while Soundwave and his troops drew the enemy out, allowing his deployers to download any files they could get their servos on.
It didn't end how it was supposed to.
Where there had previously been anticipation and the eagerness to complete the battle over the bond with his symbiotes, there was suddenly an all encompassing fear. Thick, overwhelming, and horribly terrifying.
Laserbeak was soaring high above the battle, allowing Soundwave a bird's-eye view, while Ravage weaved in between his pedes as he fought back against any approaching Autobots. Soundwave danced backwards with the ease of a skilled gladiator, helm tilting out of the way of the Autobot's sword, only to disarm the mech and run him through with his own weapon. Ravage held no fear of being stepped on by his host, years of experience fighting alongside Soundwave making the movements second nature as he dodged, weaved, and bit at any legs that came too close.
Soundwave didn't even hear the explosion. All he felt was the sudden snap and resulting shatter over the bond. With it, came an immense amount of pain- more than Soundwave had ever experienced prior. Laserbeak fell from the sky, Ravage collapsed at his pedes, and Soundwave's own legs threatened to buckle. The sheer magnitude of the sudden loss was enough to render both present deployers unconscious.
Rumble and Frenzy were gone. Their tethers to his spark had been brutally ripped from his very life force, leaving behind a gushing, aching hole.
Something tore through the metal of his shoulder, energon exploding from the wound. Soundwave stumbled forward, but managed to keep his balance. Every ounce of his frame shook with emotions he couldn't even begin to comprehend. The urge to just simply collapse into a heap was beyond tempting, but then he felt his pede brush against the unconscious feline beneath him.
Blinding rage filled him. Nobody touched his deployers. Soundwave lunged forward, data cables ripping from their casings and stabbing through three approaching Autobots with a sickening crunch. The spark of one was yanked out in a burst of gore, then promptly detonated with a quick use of his Outlier ability. It exploded, taking its owner, and the other two Autobots, with it. Another bot approached, which Soundwave immediately slammed into with all of his weight. They toppled backwards, pedes slipping on spilled energon and tripping over the husk of a fallen comrade. Without another thought, Soundwave slammed his pede down into their helm, revelling in the gruesome crack and resulting squelch.
By the time Autobots stopped approaching him, there was a graveyard of filth surrounding him. Soundwave, with the gentleness of a parent and their child, lifted Ravage and held him close to his chest. He staggered forward, ignoring how his legs wavered with every step. A sob caught in his throat, but his Vow made quick work of quieting it. He picked his way over to Laserbeak's unconscious form, then carefully scooped her up as well. With the last two remaining deployers safely within his grasp, Soundwave finally broke.
He collapsed to his knees, frame shaking so violently that it hurt. His lack of typical optics meant that he couldn't cry, but his frame reacted as though he was. Chest heaving, throat tight, vents gasping. His spark burned in a way he had never experienced before. Empty, broken, hurt, lost.
It wasn't until Megatron finally found him at least an hour later that he was collected, gently being coaxed away from the carnage of the battlefield.
They were gone. Truly, absolutely, completely gone.
Numbed by the cruel world around him, Soundwave could only hope that Rumble and Frenzy had received a quick and painless death.
When Soundwave finally woke up, the first thing he took note of was how quiet the bond was. Laserbeak and Ravage were present, but their ends were still and void of thoughts. A telltale sign of being unconscious, whether willingly or otherwise. Then, there was the complete lack of input from Rumble and Frenzy.
Soundwave jolted upwards, vision onlining within seconds as panic crawled through his systems.
When he did not immediately spot his missing symbiotes, he lurched to his pedes, only to immediately collapse when his legs buckled. The dull pain of the floor colliding with his knees brought a sliver of clarity back to him- something he so desperately wished would just disappear. Memories flooded back, and all he wanted was to return to that blissful ignorance he had awoken with.
Soundwave raised a servo to clutch at his bare chest, digits catching on the lip of the glass hovering above his spark chamber. Laserbeak was not present, and while that should be a cause for immediate concern, he could feel both her and Ravage nearby. He dug his digits into his plating, frame rattling pathetically. He hurt. Not physically. His very spark ached, its very existence no longer complete. He could feel the caverns that dug into its core, their presence amounting to a monumental sense of wrongness.
Soundwave stared at his other servo. It shook violently, slender digits splayed out as though trying to grasp something that wasn't there. Shadows of two bots danced in his peripherals, but when he immediately jerked his helm in their direction, they were gone. Ghosts of laughter and snarky comments flittered through his audials, and they only made the spark-deep ache worsen. He reached for them, palm outstretched in some desperate attempt to make physical contact with something that wasn't there. When he could not feel the familiar weight of much smaller servos within his own, every ounce of him shattered.
Alone in a room with no one to judge him but Primus, Soundwave cried. For the first time since the start of the war, his voice was willed into existence, completely unfiltered and raw. Sobs wracked with pain and grief wrenched themselves from his throat as he collapsed in on himself. His digits buried themselves into his chest, their clawed tips sliding into thick, metal plating with ease. His free servo was used as support, palm being pressed into the floor to bear the full weight of his upper body.
He sobbed until he physically couldn't anymore. Until his throat felt raw from anguish and disuse. When he finally came back to the present, Ravage was curled up in his lap, and Laserbeak had managed to wedge herself between his servo, and the mangled state of his chest. Soundwave held his remaining deployers close, taking solace in the weight of their presence physically, as well as in his spark. He leaned back against the berth he had originally been laying on, helm clunking against it with a dull thud. Eagerly, he let unconsciousness grip at his processor, and lure him back into its sweet, blissful embrace once more.