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Choromatsu frowned a bit with pursed lips as he realized the shower water just wasn’t as hot as it usually was today.
One of the things he liked the most about moving in with his girlfriend, was that he never had to wait in a long bathroom line anymore.
Nowadays, his mornings usually started with him taking a nice long shower. The kind of soothing shower he’d never really experienced before in all his life, living with 5 other brothers.
Then, he’d go downstairs and find his girlfriend making some kind of breakfast for him. He’d always told her it wasn’t necessary, but she never failed to put food on the table for him in the mornings.
She was kind enough to offer up her home to him, but cooking for him as well made him feel a little guilty, especially since he was still unemployed. He’d peruse the internet each morning for job listings while munching on whatever delicious thing his girlfriend had prepared for him.
She was like a dream come true. Like a perfect girlfriend straight out of a manga. That’s why he didn’t want to mess this whole “trial-basis-moving-in-together” thing up. He felt he was ready to take that step in their relationship, and once he finally got himself a job, he’d be able to pitch in and pay her back for all her kindness.
A working man, living with a girlfriend as fantastic as her? He’d finally be a respectful person. Success was within his near future, he felt.
As he stepped out of his shower and began dressing himself for the day, he realized he could smell pancakes in the air. The sweet scent of maple syrup traveled all the way up the stairs, and was already making him hungry.
He ran down the stairs, even skipping a few steps on the way down, and smiled to himself.
That blissful smile immediately vanished as the carnage unfolded before his very eyes.
“[NAME]-CHAN! [NAME]-CHAN! MORE PANCAKES!” Jyushimatsu demanded with his signature enormous grin.
“Me! me! I want seconds too!” Osomatsu chimed in, wiping syrup off of his mouth with his hoodie sleeve, like some sort of uncivilized animal.
“Wh…” Choro mumbled. “Wh…” then he finally found his voice. It had been about a week since he yelled like this. “WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIISSSS?!” he roared. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!”
“Oh that’s not very polite Choromatsu,” Osomatsu chuckled. “After all, this is [Name]-chan’s house. You’re nothing but a freeloader, heheh!”
His girlfriend turned to look at him over her shoulder, slaving away making pancakes in one pan, and bacon in the other. “Oh, Choro-kun!” she called. “Your brothers stopped by about an hour or two ago. Isn’t that nice? We’re having breakfast! Sit down, okay? I’ll make you some too!”
Her face showed obvious signs of fatigue. And they had only been here for an hour or two? Clearly she was not as used to dealing with those hellish fiends as he was. Not to mention she’d been cooking for all 5 of their bottomless, gluttonous stomachs. She must be exhausted.
“No!” Choromatsu asserted. “You’ve been working way too hard! You shouldn’t let them push you around like that! You need to sit down!”
“Heh. I like your sense of chivalry, my brother. Helping your beautiful lady when she’s in need? You’ve learned well from me,” Karamatsu boasted.
Choromatsu ignored him.
“Oh but you haven’t eaten yet, Choromatsu! And neither has Todomatsu!” [Name] protested.
“Eh? Wh-why hasn’t Todomatsu eaten?”
“Oh! He just got out of the shower. Probably just a few minutes before you took your shower.”
Choromatsu spun around to find Todomatsu sitting with his legs crossed and his hair wrapped up in a towel, reading a fashion magazine.
“Oh hi, Choromatsu-niisan! Your girlfriends shower is the best. She has all kinds of cute soaps and shampoos, you know? I was in there for ever!” he giggled.
“YOU USED UP ALL THE HOT WATER? UGH,” Choromatsu complained.
“Oops. Did I? Sorry.”
“DON’T SAY SORRY IF YOU’RE NOT SORRY AT ALL.”
“Choro-kun, please don’t fight with your brothers. Here. You eat up. You too, Todomatsu! And heres seconds for you all as well, Osomatsu, Jyushimatsu, and Karamatsu.” [Name] had managed to stack the plates of hot pancakes and bacon on top of one another and smoothly set them down on the table.
She walked over to the corner of the room and placed another plateful of pancakes and bacon on the floor. “Here you go, Ichimatsu.”
“Hmm?” grunted Ichimatsu, who had been lurking in the shadows until now, “I told you I don’t need any.”
She smiled at him. “You’re a young man who needs his energy! What sort of hostess would I be if I didn’t serve you seconds!”
He grumbled in response but started digging in nontheless.
“Honey,” Choromatsu began after taking a swallow from his glass of milk, “You’re pushing yourself too much. You should really sit down. Have you had anything to eat yet, yourself?”
“Ohoho!” Osomatsu chuckled. “’Honey’ this and ‘Choro-kun’ that! Man, are you guys hearing all that? Pshh. I can’t believe Choromatsu was actually the first one out of all of us to get a girlfriend.”
His brothers nodded in unison.
“DON’T JUST AGREE WITH HIM SO EASILY!” Choromatsu shouted.
“If you guys are all lovey dovey like that, you could just feed her from your plate, right? Ehhh? Right? Say “aah” [Name]-chan!” Osomatsu continued.
“GET OUT! GET OUT OUT OUT ALL OF YOU OUT RIGHT NOW OUT-”
“Actually,” [Name] began, instantly silencing her boyfriend, “it looks like I’ve got to head off to work now!” After checking the time, she shoved her phone back into her pocket and speed-walked to the front door.
“But you haven’t even eaten anything!” Choro whined, following her to the front door, his 5 brothers close behind him.
“Thats ok, I’ll grab something on my way in,” she kissed Choromatsu on the cheek and waved to him and his brothers. “Bye-bye! See you in a few hours!”
Choromatsu’s cheeks were warm, and he smiled like a dopey idiot, gently caressing the side of his face she had kissed.
“Okay... see you then,” he replied, slurring his words in a bit of a lovestruck stupor.
The door shut, and his girlfriend was off to work, leaving him alone with those 5 devils.
“You get that way over a kiss on the cheek? Yet you live with her now?” Todomatsu asked, obviously judgmentally.
“I guess Fappymatsu will always be Fappymatsu. He turns into a total idiot around girls.” Osomatsu shrugged.
“CHERRYMATSU!” Jyushimatsu declared.
“Non non non, Jyushimatsu,” Karamatsu corrected. “That ship has sailed, I’m afraid. Choromatsu has climbed the ladder into true adulthood.”
Choromatsu suddenly found himself to be at the hands of the envious Ichimatsu, who was wringing his neck ferociously. “You bastard. You non-virgin fappy bastard. It’s not fair. I’ll kill you.”
“No need for that, Ichimatsu,” Osomatsu stated, rubbing his nose. “There’s a simple solution to all of this, I think.” He paused, and Ichimatsu dropped Choro to the floor, leaving him gasping for breath. “We need to share [Name]-chan!”
“WHAT?!” Choromatsu howled.
“Think about it!” Osomatsu continued, “She’s sooo perfect! It’s total cosmic injustice that a girl like her would be with a guy like Chorofappyski. He’s not man enough for her! That being said, we’re all pretty shitty too, right? But all 6 of us together? That’s a different story!”
The brothers nodded. “Genius, Osomatsu-niisan!” Todomatsu praised.
“I know, right? Heheh-”
Choromatsu slapped Osomatsu across the face. “How dare you come into my house and suggest to SHARE my girlfriend?! You all are the lowest of the low. Disgusting. Die!”
Osomatsu rubbed the side of his face. “Jeeez, Chorofappyski-”
“STOP CALLING ME THAT.”
“It’s just no fair you leave us all behind in the realm of being virgins who still live with our parents. Remember what Todomatsu said that one time? About how if one of us graduates from being a virgin, he should help pull the others out of their virginity too?”
“Not with MY girlfriend! Go find your own!”
“He says that so casually now like it’s always been easy. Thats how spoiled he’s become.” Todomatsu scowled.
“Die.” Ichimatsu added.
“But YOUR girlfriend is so great!” Osomatsu continued.
“She can even tell us all apart! Easy!” Jyushimatsu exclaimed.
There was a pause in the conversation as that realization dawned on Choromatsu.
Karamatsu grinned. “Didn’t you notice, brother? Not once did she refer to any of us by the wrong name. That’s never happened before.”
Choromatsu was speechless. He hadn’t noticed at the time…but they were right. He could see why they’d be jealous. His girlfriend was truly amazing.
Osomatsu flopped to the floor and started wriggling, throwing a tantrum like a child. “Right?! Right?! That’s why we just can’t let this one go! No! I refuse to! Waaaaaah!”
Choromatsu’s rage was ignited again, he began grabbing his brothers by their shirt collars and tossing them out the door.
“No! Fappymatsu, wait! Waaaah I want [Name]-chan to make ME breakfast every day and **** my **** while she-”
The sound of Osomatsus whining was cut off by Choromatsu slamming the door. He’d exorcised the demons from his home, and there’s no way he was letting them back in. He locked every door and window in his house and heaved a huge sigh.
“Don’t let them interfere with your true happiness, Choromatsu,” he told himself, heading for the computer. “Just tell your girlfriend they had to go, and then never let them inside again.” He minimized the job finder site he was on, and pulled up an incognito window of a hentai site. Just for some stress relief, he told himself.
… ... ...He was awoken by the sounds of rustling somewhere in his house. He frantically checked the time. Hours?! He’d been asleep for hours?! The events from earlier, plus all that chorofappyski-ing must have really tired him out. But there were more pressing issues at hand.
Choromatsu warily creeped up the stairs. Someone was definitely in their bedroom. His girlfriend shouldn’t be home yet, but she was the only other person who had the key to their house. This felt…dangerous. It only dawned on him he probably should have brought something to defend himself when it was too late, and his hand was already turning the knob.
The door creaked open and…
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CLOTHES?!”
Osomatsu popped his head through one of Choromatsu’s green hoodies and stretched his arms out through the sleeves. “Hey, Choromatsu! Karamatsu, hair gel.”
Karamatsu handed Osomatsu a bottle of hair gel from his jacket pocket, and Todomatsu got to work on Osomatsus hair, smoothing out his cowlicks in the bedroom mirror with the gel.
“How did you get in my house?!” Choromatsu wailed.
“Heh heh…” Ichi croaked out a menacing laugh, holding up a lock picking kit. “You should really think about updating those locks of yours. Too easy…” he crooned ominously, stroking the tool kit like it was a kitten.
Jyushimatsu popped out of his girlfriend’s underwear drawer, wearing a pair of her intimates on her head, chuckling manically.
“JYUSHIMATSU! GET OUT OF THERE!” Choromatsu yanked the 5th son out of the drawer forcibly, face red with both embarrassment and rage. “ACTUALLY, ALL OF YOU, OUT! ACTUALLY, WILL YOU ALL JUST DIE?!”
“Quiet, will you?” Osomatsu admired himself in the mirror. “[Name]-chan will be home any minute! Ahem. Oh honey! You’re home!”
“What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Oh isn’t it obvious? I’m working on my ‘you’ impression! Your girlfriend does a good job of telling us apart, but I’m sure if I dress up like you or something and act like you, she won’t be able to tell the difference heheh. Maybe I’ll even get a kiss!” he switched back to his Choromatsu impression. “A kiss from such a hot girl would make a loser otaku like myself ever so happy!”
“Stop that!! Get out before [Name]-chan gets h-”
Everyone’s heads whipped around when they heard the sound of the door opening.
“Choro-kun! I’m hooome!” [Name] called.
Choromatsu laughed nervously. “C-coming hone-MMPPH!”
Jyushimatsu held Choromatsu in an Octopus hold, covering his mouth with his long sleeve.
Damn those brothers. Did they never have any sense of unity? No. Never. Any one of them would betray the other at the drop of a hat. They only work together when its in their best mutual interest, like now. Even when it means turning all against one. They were always like this. Especially when girls were involved. For [Name]-chans sake he would fight back with all he had.
Osomatsu skipped down the stairs and greeted [Name] in his best Choromatsu impression. “Welcome home!”
There was a long pause.
“Eh? Osomatsu? Why are you wearing Choromatsu’s clothes?”
Osomatsu’s face fell in disbelief. Just then Choromatsu came skidding around the corner, completely out of breath from struggling with Jyushimatsus grip, and nearly falling on his face in the process. “Ohhh ahahah! Osomatsu just got some syrup from this morning all over his hoodie so he borrowed one of mine!”
“Oh! Is that why Ichimatsu is wearing your clothes too?” she asked, pointing towards the end of the hallway, where Ichimatsu was standing in Choromatsu's clothes, hoping to get a kiss from [Name]-chan as well.
“Eh? ICHIMATSUUUUUU”
Ichimatsu cursed under his breath and ruffled his hair back into its usual messy state.
“NO HE’S JUST ANOTHER PIECE OF TRASH, IS ALL. IT’S NOT THEIR CLOTHES THAT ARE DIRTY IT’S THEIR SOULS!” Choromatsu hollered.
Osomatsu hummed softly and shimmied out of Choromatsu’s hoodie. “Thanks for letting me borrow your clothes, little bro. I think it’s time me and the rest of us Matsuno’s got out of your hair,” he smiled sincerely.
“Wh…wha?”
“I think its more than obvious now that’s a real keeper you’ve got there, Choromatsu. So don’t screw it up ‘kay?” Osomatsu chuckled, slapping Choromatsu on the back playfully.
“Osomatsu-niisan…?” Choro was at a loss for words.
Karamatsu patted Choromatsu on the shoulder. “Heh. I’m proud of you.”
“Karamatsu-niisan? You too…?”
“Come on guys, we’ve overstayed our welcome! Lets leave these two lovebirds to their nest okay?” Osomatsu called. The rest of the Matsuno brothers followed behind him, wearing warm, sincere smiles to both Choromatsu and [Name].
“BYE BYE!” Jyushimatsu cheered, waving to the happy couple with a floppy sleeve.
“Come and visit us sometime won’t you? Its a bit lonely with one less Matsuno brother around,” Todomatsu winked.
“Yeah but he’s in good hands!” Osomatsu stated.
“Don’t be a stranger…” Ichimatsu mumbled.
“Mmhmm,” Karamatsu nodded. “Having the two of you come visit us lonely five-some from time to time would fill my heart with song-OOF!” Ichimatsu jabbed him in the stomach, putting and end to his flowery foolishness.
“You guys…” Choromatsu was teary eyed. He and [Name] waved off the 5 brothers as they walked into the sunset. How could he have thought such cruel things about them earlier? Sure, they could be a little out of control sometimes, but they were his brothers. They really cared for him, just as he cared for them.
As long as they accepted he had no intention of sharing his girlfriend, and it seemed like they did, maybe he wouldn’t mind having them over from time to time…after all, in his heart, he’d been missing them as well…
(That night…[Bonus end])
“Choro-kun~” [Name] teased, straddling her boyfriend. Choromatsu lay completely flustered underneath her. No matter how many times they had sex, he always acted like a stupid virgin. Good thing his girlfriend usually took the reins, so to speak.
“Whats the matter? Are you embaaaarrassed?” she stroked the side of his face and leaned in to kiss first his lips, then his neck, causing Choromatsu to whine needily.
“Too cute…” she hummed. “If you’re too shy that’s okay, you can sit back and let me do all the work tonight.” She ran a finger down his chest and began to undo his belt buckle.
“Yes! I told you he’d be a total wuss in bed! I win! Pay up, Karamatsu.”
Choromatsu and [Name] froze as they realized they heard whispers coming from their closet.
“Be still Jyushimatsu! Settle down!” another voice whispered.
All at once, 5 Matsuno brothers tumbled out of their closet and onto their bedroom floor. [Name] hid herself behind a blanket.
“WHAT THE HELL?!” She shouted.
“Hmm your girlfriend looks almost like you when she yells like that, Choromatsu.” Osomatsu observed. “Except tons more attractive.”
“I should have known it! You’re all shitty to the core! What was all that about [Name] being ‘a keeper’ hmm?! DID THAT SINCERE BROTHERLY MOMENT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!”
“We missed you!” Jyushimatsu spouted.
“Yeah! And just because she’s a total keeper doesn’t mean we’ve given up. Hey, [Name]-chan,” Osomatsu turned to face her, “how would you feel about a sort of polyamorous relationship? Would you be all six of our girlfriends? I’m sure that between the six of us, we’d find ways to satisfy you in ways that-lets face it- Choromatsu probably… doesn’t!”
[Name] looked mortified. She couldn’t even reply. For a moment, it gave Choromatsu bad flashbacks to when Osomatsu had been equally as inappropriate around his beloved Nyaa-chan, leaving her similarly speechless.
“HOW DARE YOU?! OUT! OUT! BEFORE I THROW YOU ALL OUT THE WINDOW!” Choromatsu erupted.
“If you did that we’d just be back tomorrow,” Todomatsu said. His mouth was smiling, but his eyes were sinister.
“You can’t get rid of us that easily,” Ichimatsu agreed.
“OH CAN’T I?!” Choromatsu leaped from his bed and shoved them all towards the door. “GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, AND IF I FIND YOU HERE AGAIN, I’LL CALL THE POLICE!”
“That’s still not enough to get rid of us, Fappymatsu!”
“E-eh..?” [Name] chimed in. “…Who’s fappymatsu?”
“YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT FAPPYMATSU?!” Osomatsu gasped. “No way!!”
“OUT!” Choromatsu slammed the door behind him by shoving his back into it, and then slid to the floor in defeat.
“Forget every precious moment of my time I’ve ever wasted thinking they could be decent human beings” he thought. “I will never escape the shackles of hell that bind me…forgive me [Name]-chan for bringing you into this screwed up family…forgive me…”
“Choro-kun?”
“Y…yes?”
“So who is fappymatsu?”
[END]