Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Babe?”

“Mhm?” a barely awake Mayu answers.

Laying in Yooyeon’s arms, she tilts her head up to look at her girlfriend. She stretches out her left arm and then rubs her sleepy eyes.

“Do you think we were better off as a society when we had single use devices?”

“Baby… what?” Mayu questions, a little confused at this random, weird question that is being proposed to her at—she glances at the clock in her room—1 in the morning.

“I’ve just been thinking about how the modern cellphone has everything, communication, internet surfing, music, maps, camera, games, reading, like so much stuff. And that’s huge right, like that’s incredible that we have been able to invent and create stuff like that but like, now we just use our phones for everything.”

Mayu squinted her eyes and was wracking her brain for something to say but considering how she should be in the REM cycle right now, not much else was coming to her mind so she settled for an audible, “Mmmmm”

Yooyeon continued, unphased by the hardly conscious response from the girl lying next to her, “It just all contributes to a really high screen time, and we are missing out on other sensations and experiences. Like the aesthetics of listening to a Walkman with headphones is rad as hell, dontcha think?”

“Very rad, Yooyeon” Mayu yawned, closing her eyes. Keeping them open took too much energy. If she could just listen to a little and give appropriate grunts and hums, that might keep her partner satisfied until she tired out again.

“We don’t ask people for directions anymore either, we just type away what we are looking for in the maps app and go on our way. We’ve become hyper independent, and I’ve just been thinking about the ways how these technological advancements really do isolate us more than foster community. Though, I guess there is something to say for stan communities, I wonder if there’s any research done on that.”

“Maybe baby.” The blonde turned closer into Yooyeon, hoping that this would signal that Mayu wants to go back to being asleep in her arms and that she is too tired for anything other than skin to skin contact and dreaming.

But Kim Yooyeon wasn’t done yet. She adjusted and sat up, leaving Mayu’s head to fall from Yooyeon’s arm, to the mattress. Too fatigued to be angry, but not exactly pleased with the circumstances her life is under at this current moment.

“I’ve also been thinking about beef.”

Mayu rolled over onto her stomach, face down in the mattress and let out a sigh. This is it. She will never get to fall back asleep in the safe arms of her lover. She’ll never finish that dream about winning a fansign with Sana from Twice. She will have to brave being awake until she goes to work where she’ll surely fall asleep sitting in one of her meetings or while she’s taking new book acquisitions in. This is what Mayu gets for dating a PhD student. While she loves the qualities Yooyeon has— reflective, critical thinker, curiosity—those were the same qualities getting in the way of her getting the 9 hours of sleep she had been dreaming about since she got off of work earlier today.

“Beef?” she finally replied, resigned to her fully awakened state now. So much for the curtain of liminality, walking the fine line between sleepy and awake, Yooyeon tore the veil and brought Mayu into the land of existential questions and theoreticals. This was something she could engage in the morning while they both get ready for their days, not now while the world is pitch black.

“Mhm,” Yooyeon answered, “I was listening to a podcast and they brought on this guy who talked about how bad the beef industry is for the environment, and I think I always knew there were some pretty unethical practices, but man. I mean honey, did you know that, like not only greenhouse gases are a problem in the beef industry but also how much it contributes to deforestation? And also, just how much fucking water the industry uses? Not too mention the runoff water from manure makes the water undrinkable.”

The Japanese girl laid there staring at the ceiling, wondering if she could somehow get her girlfriend to take a melatonin gummy tomorrow.

“I don’t have the stats on me right now, but genuinely it’s so bad for the earth. And the guy who was talking about it was proposing that we could practice something called “beef days”, where like once a month, or in his ideals, once a year, where we eat beef. Cutting the amount of energy and land and all the resources it takes for the beef industry to be bursting.”

Mayu leaned off the side of the bed and picked up the pillow she had tossed aside. Yooyeon was her pillow once…

“Yeah baby I think that all makes sense. If you want to try and do “beef days” I am happy to join you in that if it means a lot to you.”

“Awh really babe?” Yooyeon turned to her girlfriend and rubbed her arm.

“Really” she smiled and yawned. She may be tired, but she did love the girl, and she was commited to being a supportive girlfriend, no matter what.

“And you know maybe in the same line of beef, this guy also had another podcast where he talked about the layout of grocery stores and how they don’t make any sense and are also perpetuating the wealth gap.”

Her face immediately dropped. Mayu gave up. She situated herself to sit up against the head board and crossed her arms. No choice but to be Yooyeon’s primary interlocutor for the forseeable future.

“Go on” she beckons.

Yooyeon positions her hands to give a visual of the typical grocery store layout. She begins describing about how things are set up, where they are, and really how not intuitive it all is.

“These companies really center on maximizing impulse purchases because there’s no rhyme or reason. And in order to get to the stuff people actually need, we are forced to walk through the whole store to explore different departments and get us distracted on our way.”

Mayu placed her hand under her chin and pursed her lips. “You know what, yeah. Anytime I go shopping with Xinyu and Nien, we always end up buying things we don’t need. Espeically when we visit the one market downtown. I always thought it was interesting how they put the bakery near where you walk in. The amount of money the three of us have spent on little treats is diabolical…”

“See!” Yooyeon clapped her hands, “It’s intentional. It all is designed to make you spend more than you want and live out of your means. Especially the checkout line where they put all the kitschy tchotchke items and candy and bullshit to encourage last minute purchases!”

A big yawn as Mayu asks, “So what does this guy you listen to propose?”

The older girl straightened up her posture before speaking, “Well the program he was on was sort of a comedy, so he proposed using sort of like the Dewey decimal system.”

Now Mayu’s ears perked up. She worked at the public library, her department was acquisitions and community porgraming, but she has had her fair share of putting books back in the aisles. “You know I can see how that might work actually”

“I knew you would.” Yooyeon giggled. “You know, actually…” she crossed Mayu’s body to reach over to the nightstand, which was on Mayu’s side of the bed, to grab her phone. Almost blinded by her phone, she imiedately turns down the brightness and begins tapping away. “Here babe” she says and wraps her arm around her girlfriend. Together the duo watches the clips from the podcast Yooyeon had talked about and learn about how the ideal grocery store should be situated.

“See yeah I think that could absolutely work.”

“Should we open a grocery store babe?”

“We can add it to the list of things we want to do my love”

“You’re so silly”

Yooyeon reaches back across Mayu and puts her phone away again. The two sit in bed, Mayu’s head on Yooyeon’s shoulder. Yooyeon hums and thinks. Mayu can’t see her face anymore, mainly cause she’s closed her eyes again, and thinks about how in love she is, how she knows to her core how deep her feelings go for Kim Yooyeon. What a gift it is to love someone so thoughtful, full of wonder, and how special is it that Yooyeon wants to share that with Mayu. Filling up with soft love for the girl she’s sharing a bed with tonight, Mayu almost feels bad about being annoyed that she’s awake at this hour entertaining these questions.

Almost.

Mayu sits up and grabs Yooyeon’s face and kisses her on the lips. “Unnie,” she coos, a term she uses because it makes Yooyeon’s knees go weak and she really needs all the advantages she can get right now.

“Y-yes my love?” she stutters in response, confirming Mayu’s choice in term of endearment was working perfectly in her plan.

“I am so tired, and if I am not asleep in your arms in the next 3 minutes. I am going to be maybe the worst person you’ve ever encountered in your life tomorrow.” she said evenly, almost in an uncanny way, her lovey voice using something to convey serious thoughts.

Yooyeon nodded and promptly laid down on her side, inviting Mayu to be the little spoon. Mayu smiles to herself and without hesitation, assumes her favorite sleeping position.

Just as she takes a deep breath and settles into Yooyeon’s arms—

“Oh and also…”

Mayu turns her head around at the speed of light, and out of desperation and whines, “Yooyeon-ah”

“I love you” she laughs.

Mayu smiles reaches her hand back to the back of Yooyeon’s head and lightly massages her scalp.

“I love you too sweetheart.” She softly replies.

Mayu never did complete that dream about winning a fansign with Sana.

Oh well.