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“Deep breath. Hold it.” A blonde girl told herself and shut her eyes. She waited for the craving from her stomach to pass. Her leg started bouncing underneath her desk as she silently begged for her stomach to keep quiet.
A hushed whisper was heard next to her. “Dude, what is she doing?” A snicker followed that.
She reopened her eyes as she released her breath and felt eyes on her as looked forward towards the board again. The math equations looked mixed up as they always did. She wished that their teacher would give them printed handouts instead.
“What an idiot.” She bit her lip as she worked through the problem. It was hard to tell if that voice was in her head or from one of her classmates.
“Miss Sinclair.” The teacher, Miss Thornhill, called her name out making her feel more eyes on her.
With panicked eyes, she looked up to her teacher.
“Enid, could you tell the class the answer, please?”
“Uh, I-” She started stuttering. The snickers started up. “I don’t know.”
“Could you tell us how we start to solve it?”
“Uh, sure,” she said with a shaky breath. “First you take the five.”
“There is no five, Enid.” Thornhill informed.
The panic started building, hunger replaced with illness. “Shit, I mean-”
Laughter disrupted everything as Enid bit her lip hard, reminding herself not to cry. The eyes felt like knives now as she tried to shrink.
“Settle down!” Miss Thornhill yelled out. “After class, Enid.”
Lowering her eyes to her paper, she tried to focus on the jumbling letters and words. “Yes, ma’am.”
The rest of the class, the blonde girl, stayed focused on her paper. The thought of the eyes on her were enough to push away thoughts of hunger. She forgot she was hungry until her stomach growled again, right before the bell started ringing.
There were a few giggles as her classmates began their journey to the lunch line. A few side-eyes and hushed words between friends directed at Enid later, she was left standing in front of Miss Thornhill’s desk with only the two of them.
The redhead let out a soft sigh. “What happened?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve heard amazing things about you and how great of a student you are. Why can’t you answer a simple question?”
The feeling of tears threatened to spill. “I was trying, but I-”
The teacher looked deep in thought as she stared at Enid. “Look, Miss Sinclair, if you’re getting distracted then I believe you’ll need to be moved to the front.”
“What?” The panic settled in. She couldn’t move to the front. Everyone would be staring the entire class. “Please don’t! I’m fine, I’m ok in my seat!”
“This is the third time now that you haven’t even written the correct equation. I think you’re having trouble seeing.”
“Please, Miss Thornhill, I want to stay in my seat.” Pleading as best as she could with her eyes, she heard Thornhill sigh.
“You get one more chance. Next time I call on you, I want the answer.”
With her own sigh of relief, “Yes, ma’am!”
Quickly, Enid took off towards the lunch hall. She wanted to grab her lunch and take off to the nearest corner outside. Not that Enid didn’t like to be around people, but when everyone around her took the time to make her feel uncomfortable, she didn’t want to be around them.
Walking in, Enid grabbed her provided lunch and started to head out before someone stopped her.
“Sinclair, heard you caused some trouble in Thornhill’s class.” They laughed. “Still can’t read?” They grabbed the tray out of Enid’s hands. “You know, I’m still feeling hungry. Reading really takes it out of me. I’m sure you won’t mind since you can’t read. You probably still have all your strength from breakfast.”
Shaking and hearing her stomach growl, the kids around her laughed. “Get out of here.”
Sprinting away, reminding herself not to cry. She went into the library, maybe if she was lucky she could swipe a few pieces of candy from the librarian’s candy bowl. Picking up the first book she saw, she sat down at a table.
“What are you doing?” An angry voice asked her.
“Uh, reading.” She looked across the table, blue eyes meeting brown. “Just like you.”
“Go find your own table.”
“No, I’m fine here.”
“I don’t want you here.” Brown eyes weren’t filled with anger, just annoyance.
“Girls, if you can’t quiet down, I will ask you to leave.” The librarian said quietly to them before returning to her desk. There went Enid’s chance at candy.
Huffing but returning to her book, the girl sat up straight with perfect posture.
Blue eyes looked down and then widened. Enid realized she had grabbed an anatomy book. She covered her face as she rested it against the table. Her stomach growled again, sounding the loudest it had all day.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” She grumbled to herself.
Something hit the table next to Enid. She looked around the book to see a bag of trail mix next to her. Her eyes looked around for who had placed it there.
“Just eat it.” The girl across from her said, not looking away from her book.
“Thank you.” She said quietly before snacking as she looked over the pictures and tried to piece words together without getting frustrated.
The next day went better, no one called on her and she was able to walk away with her lunch. It was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but Enid couldn’t be happier. She walked confidently down the hall towards the door to the outside area, but passing by the library, her eyes caught the girl that had given her the trail mix sitting at the same table she was yesterday.
Looking at the sandwich then back into the library, Enid shoved the sandwich in her mouth. She chewed the best she could before swallowing and rinsing it down with milk. She nearly swallowed her fruit whole and was coughing as she walked into the library.
She grabbed a book, this time being aware, and sat diagonally from the girl.
“Why are you here again?”
“What?”
“I don’t have food today.”
Enid shrugged. “Can’t I come and enjoy your silence?”
The girl looked taken back before returning to her book. It was different from yesterday.
Turning back to her own book, Enid focused. She could read this, it was a children’s book. She started the first page to Captain Underpants.
A week passed with Enid joining the girl at her table. They shared a few words but nothing more other than silence as they read. Enid felt herself reading with more confidence once she made it through the first book then felt like she breezed through the second. She had started on the third one today and was making good progress.
The bell rang making Enid a little disappointed.
“Hey, I never found out your name.” Enid said before the girl could run away.
She didn’t stop packing her book up. “That’s not important.”
“C’mon, my name is Enid!”
“Wednesday.”
“No, it’s Thursday.”
“My name,” she said forcefully, “is Wednesday.”
“Oh, nice to meet you, Wednesday!” Enid smiled. “Same time tomorrow?”
The girl let out a nod before walking away.
The blonde couldn’t lie, that nod filled her with more acceptance than she’s felt in a year.
Barely chewing through another lunch as she walked towards the library, Enid nearly skipped her way there. She had been sitting with Wednesday for a month. Her reading confidence has improved, she was about to start Percy Jackson and Wednesday had never said a word about her reading choices.
They had shared some conversation, but not as much as Enid would’ve liked. She knows that the girl likes horror movies, gothic literature, and a certain type of pen. She looked offended when Enid asked to borrow it one day but hesitantly handed her the pen. Seeing that, Enid was so careful as she wrote down a quick note then quickly handed it back. It was obvious that it meant something to Wednesday and she was not going to ruin their friendship by breaking her pen.
Stepping through the door, she saw Wednesday in her usual spot. She sat in her seat.
“Hey, Wednesday! How are you today?”
“Acceptable, and you, Enid?”
She smiled at Wednesday. “I’m having a great day.”
“Were you able to read the board today?”
The blonde felt her smile drop as she looked at Wednesday. “What do you mean?”
“My apologies.” The goth had a slight panicked look. “I’m aware that you have some reading troubles.”
“I can read just fine.” Enid had a sharp tone that was surprising herself. “Who told you I couldn’t read?”
“Enid, again, my apologies. I know you can read but I have overheard people speaking about your dyslexia problem.”
“I don’t have dyslexia!”
“Girls! Quiet or leave.”
A few moments of silence while Enid felt like she was going to cry. Until Wednesday stood up.
“May we continue our conversation outside?”
Enid shook her head. “No, I’ll just go.”
“Enid, I insist.”
They both walked outside the library. The shorter girl pulled Enid back before she could run away. The blonde looked anywhere but at Wednesday trying to maintain that she’s fine.
“I’m sorry, I did not mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”
Enid took a deep breath. “It’s fine. Of course you knew I couldn’t read. Everyone knows I can’t read.” Every word was starting to get louder. Her brain felt loud.
“Sinclair.” Wednesday hissed, making every thought cease. “You can read. You do it every day at lunch hour with me. Your brain is wired to read things differently.”
“How do you know I’m not faking it? I’ve been reading picture books for the past month.”
Brown eyes were lost in thought before focusing again. “I’ve seen the notes and scribbles you’ve made while reading. When there’s a part you struggle with, you become really focused. You’re doing your best, I admire that.”
The blonde felt tears in her eyes as Wednesday spoke to her, but when Wednesday said she admired her, her heart could have exploded. “You admire me?”
Her mouth opened then closed then a deep breath. “Yes, Enid.”
The taller girl wrapped her arms around the shorter one before she could run. She felt her stiffen and pulled away quickly. “Sorry.” She apologized sheepishly. “Thank you, Wednesday. Would you like to go back in and read?”
The goth regained her composure. “If you are sure, you are fine then yes.”
As the next month continued, Enid was really becoming disinterested in reading. At least Captain Underpants had pictures, Percy Jackson had just become a big bucket of words and Enid was sick of it. She started doodling on pieces of paper and eventually got a sketchpad. She felt bad for taking up so much of the table but Wednesday didn’t mind it. She continued reading her book as normal, but blue would meet brown on more than one occasion.
Rediscovering her love for drawing also awakened the bisexual crisis of her crush on Wednesday. She spent multiple nights on her floor staring at pictures of guys repeating “I will not crush on Wednesday.” It never worked, she still had dreams of Wednesday kissing her in the library afterwards. She had shamelessly drawn hearts of her and Wednesday’s initials on a few of her notes.
After the usual swallowing food whole while walking towards the library, Enid had unknowingly done something she had never before. She was the first one at their table. Her dark companion was nowhere in sight.
Without thinking, Enid dropped her stuff and began working on a recent landscape she had dreamed about a few nights ago. It may have been another dream where she had made out with Wednesday but she loved the scenery from it.
“What are you doing?” A voice from behind her made her nearly jump out of the chair.
“What?” Enid asked, smiling as she looked back at Wednesday.
Wednesday didn’t smile back as usual. “You’re on the wrong side.”
Looking at their table and on the other side, her smile slowly faded. “Shit, I’m sorry, let me-”
“Stay.” Wednesday placed her bag down before a deep breath as she sat down.
They were both still next to each other. Neither of them dared to move.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to move?”
She took another deep breath. “Stay, this is acceptable.” She pulled out her book.
The blonde felt her stomach fill with butterflies. She started back on her landscape making sure the shading was perfect on the tree that dream Wednesday had pushed her into.
Feeling bold, Enid looked over and took in Wednesday’s features, her sharp jaw, perfect eyelashes, and brown eyes that could bury her looking right at her.
“Oh shit!” Enid yelled after jumping when realizing Wednesday was looking at her. She fell out of her chair, hitting the floor with a thud. She felt eyes on her like she was reading aloud or answering a question.
“Are you ok, Enid?” Wednesday asked with a hand out to help her up.
Letting out a groan, “Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”
The bell rang and Enid started gathering her things while Wednesday stood next to her.
“Sinclair, what happened?” The librarian asked, walking over.
“Just got a little spooked.” Enid said sheepishly.
“Did you hit your head?”
“No, just bruised my as-butt.” The librarian looked between her and Wednesday who was still watching her closely. “Wednesday didn’t do anything to me.”
“Ok, girls, have a good rest of the day.”
Turning her head to see Wednesday hadn’t moved from helping her. “Are you ok, Wednesday?”
Dark eyes blinked seemingly coming back into focus. “Yes, I’m fine, just concerned for you, Sinclair.”
“I’m ok, I just didn’t think you were staring at me.”
Wednesday hummed. “I felt eyes on me.”
Thoughts rushed through her mind. She couldn’t tell Wednesday about her crush.
“And, I see you’re taking up a new genre.”
Blue eyes looked down at her sketch pad, she had unknowingly started on a portrait of Wednesday. She stuttered, “Oh yeah, I wanted to practice.” She paused to think. “Why not use my best friend?”
Wednesday narrowed her eyes. “I see. Have a good day, Enid.” She walked away leaving Enid behind.
The blonde smiled watching her walk away before realizing, Wednesday never told her to have a good day before.
The following week, Enid made sure to sit on the right side every day. Not that she didn’t like sitting next to her, but she was able to get away with looking more over here. Her portrait of Wednesday had become more filled out.
Walking into the library, she noticed that Wednesday was right in front of her. It seemed like the past few days, Wednesday was walking slower to the library, almost arriving at the same time as Enid swallowing the rest of her milk and throwing away her trash.
She watched as the goth paused, looked at their table, and then took a deep breath before walking over, then standing for ten seconds before sitting in her usual spot.
“Hey, Wednesday!” The blonde sat down in her normal seat. “Whatcha reading today?”
A playful look swirled in brown eyes. “Something that will make you faint.”
“Isn’t that what you read every day?”
“Most days, yes.”
The two silently went to their own things. Enid focusing hard on her latest drawing while Wednesday kept peeking over the edge of her book.
That following Monday, Enid walked in a bit frazzled. Her lunch was stolen again but she knew Wednesday had goldfish in her bag. A little later than normal which Enid tried to ignore, she knew Wednesday would offer her some forgiveness.
Walking up to her table, she stopped in her tracks. Wednesday was across from her normal spot looking a little scared and nervous writing in what looked to be a journal.
“Hey, spicing things up a little?” Enid said about to sit in the seat across when she noticed nails digging into dark sleeves. “Do you want me to sit next to you?”
A deep breath and a nod.
She sits in the seat flashing a smile before pulling out her sketch pad along with her several color pencils. Shuffling next to her signaled that Wednesday was getting comfortable with her book.
The week-long break from school felt awful for Enid. She hated being stuck at home. Her mother all over her for not studying despite having average grades. She brushed her off and stayed in her room as much as possible.
She missed her escape with Wednesday. The daydreams of pressing their lips together were becoming more frequent. Her sketch book was filled with portraits of her dark companion, places where Enid had dreams of kissing her, or things that she thought Wednesday would think were cool.
Mentally kicking herself for not getting Wednesday’s number, she pulled out her sketch pad. She missed her and let herself get lost in thought as she started drawing lines. She would see her again in three days, but those were long days until then. She didn’t want to think about her mother, but she wanted to think about how good it felt to be next to Wednesday, how her brown eyes always looked for her, and how there seemed to be a smile playing on her lips when Enid’s shoes brushed hers.
When she regained focus, she realized what she drew. It was a drawing of her pushing Wednesday against a bookshelf, lips almost locked. She felt her face flush.
Throwing her book across the floor. “What am I going to do?”
Returning to school, they fell back into their routine. Enid began to sit on Wednesday’s preferred side. She switched between reading and drawing when inspiration struck, but Wednesday changed books nearly every day like before.
Two weeks after returning from break, Wednesday was late. It was noticeably late, Enid tried to keep the voice out of her head. She will show up. She may be mysterious but she was always there. The drawing was her main focus on keeping the voice away.
“Sinclair.” Wednesday called out behind her making her jump.
“Shit.” She held her chest trying to calm her heart. “Hey, everything ok?”
A deep breath. “Yes, can we talk?”
“Sure.” Her stomach dropped. Her thoughts immediately racing to Wednesday wants her to leave her table. Their friendship was a ruse.
They stepped out into the hall but Wednesday led Enid further from the library. “Wednesday, what’s wrong?” The younger girl was quiet as she kept walking. “Why are we in the English halls?”
Wednesday stopped as they neared the end of the hallway. She turned towards Enid taking deep breath after deep breath.
“Wends?”
That snapped her eyes to meet Enid. “What the hell did you just call me?”
“Wends? Short for Wednesday?” The blonde said nervously.
A low growl left her. “Of course, I give up all desires to seek love and you walk in with that horrid anatomy book. I allow you in my space then you invade my thoughts. You make me care how you feel and if you are ok and not choking on a terribly made sandwich as you run down the hall.”
“What?”
Narrow, furious brown eyes met confused blue. “You idiot.”
“That’s so uncal-” Wednesday’s lips cut her off with her hands pulling her as close as possible. “Wait, you like me?”
Another kiss.
“You do!”
Another kiss.
“Holy shit!”
A week later, Enid and Wednesday were sat at their table. Enid worked quietly on her newest idea while Wednesday finished her book. Their relationship hadn’t changed much outside of Enid following Wednesday to her home and going home after dinner.
Sitting down her now finished book, Wednesday checked the time. “Enid, could you help me find a new book?”
The blonde looked over at her girlfriend. “Sure?”
She followed her over to the tall bookcases. “Do you really need my help?”
A deep breath. “No.” There was a small surprised moan swallowed between the two as Enid pushed her up against the bookcase.