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Phantom Pregnancy

Summary:

Luz expected to learn about pregnancy at Hexside - but in health class, not Oracle class. The teacher is demonstrating a long-lost spell that allows the user to become pregnant with a spirit for magical benefits. Can Luz, a bored 18-year-old with a fascination for pregnancy, survive such an awkward lesson?

TOH pregnancy lore. No smut or referenced sex at all.

Notes:

This chapter contains: no smut

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Luz did a double take as she walked into the Oracle classroom. The chalkboard read Phantom Pregnancy in big letters, underlined. This wasn’t Healing class, right?

The presence of Mrs. Caprex, the goat-headed Oracle teacher, confirmed that it was, in fact, Oracle class. But why did the chalkboard say Phantom Pregnancy on it? That seemed like a Healing topic. 

Hopefully it was just some kind of technical term. Luz (and her girlfriend Amity) were very attracted to pregnancy, though at age 18, they were too young to become parents themselves. That didn’t stop them from fantasising about it though. Sitting through a whole class about pregnancy would be awkward.

Luz sat down next to Barcus. “Hey, do you know what this whole phantom pregnancy thing is about?”

The canine student shrugged and barked. Nope. 

“Ooh lemme see if I can look it up,” said Luz. She whipped out her phone and typed phantom pregnancy into the search engine, then tapped on the Wikipedia page. 

“Pseudocyesis,” Luz read. “Well, that’s not very helpful. Let’s see. False pregnancy … appearance of pregnancy symptoms without actually carrying a foetus … psychiatric component … blah blah blah. I wish Wikipedia had Boiling isles information too.”

I bet there’s something about it in the library. You can ask the Demon Decimal System, said Barcus. 

Luz snorted. “Last time I tried to use it, it almost ate me.”

Barcus looked unimpressed. Everything tries to eat you.

Before Luz could respond, Mrs. Caprex cleared her throat and tapped her pointer stick against the chalkboard. “Good morning class,” she said, her voice bleating slightly.

There was a chorus of half-hearted groans and tired greetings. It was first period, and everyone was tired. 

“You might be curious about today’s lesson. Phantom pregnancy was a lost art for many years, banned by Emperor Belos during his reign, denounced as wild magic. But in the last four years, researchers have been able to recreate its function. Not all the necessary spells survived the purge of wild magic, but we have developed new ones.”

In front of Luz, Celine raised her hand. Luz craned her neck to look around the girl’s crescent-moon-shaped head. “I thought phantom pregnancy was a medical condition,” she said. 

Mrs. Caprex raised a pedagogical finger. “There is a medical condition colloquially known as phantom pregnancy, but its true name is pseudocyesis , from the Savage Tongue words pseudes 'false' and kyesis 'pregnancy’. True phantom pregnancy is a series of spells that allow an Oracle to form a closer and more powerful bond with her spirit.”

She raised a finger, spinning a white spell circle as the crystal balls on everyone’s desks began to glow, showing images for the lesson. “Phantom pregnancy is a high-level Oracle spell which involves aspects of Healing magic as well, which is why it was banned under Emperor Belos’ reign. It was not traditionally taught at Hexside, and the Parent Creature Association has petitioned to keep things that way. I will not be teaching you how to cast phantom pregnancy on yourselves today, but rather, providing a demonstration.”

The image on the crystal ball switched to that of a spirit coming out of a crystal ball. “Crystal ball-ception,” Luz whispered to Barcus, who woofed softly with laughter.

“Ordinarily, spirits reside in crystal balls,” said Mrs. Caprex. “But they can take up residence in other objects as well. Many of you are familiar with Oracle Stones, which can be worn as jewelry, and magic mirrors, even if they’re obsolete.”

The image on the crystal ball switched to a glowing necklace, then a mirror with a spirit’s face in it. 

“However, these external locations can be inconvenient. One must rub a crystal ball or Oracle Stone, or speak to a magic mirror, to activate it. The spirit must communicate verbally, which has a slight time delay and could lead to misunderstandings,” said the teacher. 

The image on the crystal ball played a short, cartoonish video of a Witch being attacked by a Slitherbeast. In the time it took her to summon her spirit, the Slitherbeast swallowed her whole. 

“It is possible to house a spirit within the body, for some people. Only those with a uterus or similar organ can perform the phantom pregnancy spell, since the uterus is already primed to contain magical beings - the growing foetus. Almost any female Witch or Demon can perform this spell, even those who lay eggs or have metamorphic offspring. Only those who reproduce by budding are incapable of performing this spell.”

The crystal ball showed a cartoon image of a pregnant Witch with a green check mark over her head. Next to her was a shrub demon who had a half-grown child hanging from her branches like a fruit, with a red X mark above her head. 

“As for males, most cannot perform this spell. However, some Demon males take in the fertilised eggs or spawn of the female and allow them to grow within certain areas of the body, such as pouches,” said Mrs. Caprex. “Those males can perform this spell.”

The crystal ball showed a froglike demon opening his mouth to reveal a dozen little tadpoles in his cheek pouches. Then it switched to a seahorse demon ejecting fry from his bellybutton.

“The benefits of phantom pregnancy are significant. The caster and spirit form a mental link, allowing for communication at the speed of thought. There are no delays or misunderstandings,” explained Mrs. Caprex.

The crystal ball showed another short cartoon. This time, the Witch sported a visible pregnant belly, and as the Slitherbeast lunged, a glowing spirit popped out and punched it. The cartoon Slitherbeast ran away, and the Witch gave a thumbs-up.

“In addition to speed and ease of communication, the user’s Oracle magic becomes significantly stronger because the spirit can more closely access the bile sac,” explained the teacher.

Barcus raised one paw. Isn’t that dangerous? Giving the spirit closer access to our bile sac?

“Yes it is,” said Mrs. Caprex. “That brings us to the downsides of phantom pregnancy. As Barcus said, it’s dangerous to allow a spirit such easy access to your bile sac. That’s why phantom pregnancy should only be performed with spirits you’ve worked with for a long time and trust deeply.”

The crystal ball showed an image of a pregnant woman with various areas highlighted in red, particularly the belly, breasts, and lower back. 

“Phantom pregnancy manifests itself physically in the same way as real pregnancy. You will look pregnant and have all the same symptoms, from mood swings to sore ankles. The womb, oviduct, or brood sac will swell as though there’s a real baby inside, though it will only fill with amniotic fluid, bloom, or brood slime. It’s just as heavy and inconvenient as real pregnancy. In fact, the spell makes the body think it’s pregnant, so your periods will stop or you won’t lay eggs. You can’t get pregnant for real while using the phantom pregnancy spell.”

A chubby boy at the front of the class raised his hand. “So you can use it as birth control?”

Mrs. Caprex bleated with laughter. “I suppose so. But there are so many easier and safer options. Phantom pregnancy is not to be used so lightly.”

She swirled her finger again, triggering everyone’s crystal balls to switch to the next image. This time, it was just a block of text: DEMONSTRATION.

“Ah, it’s time for the demonstration. This is not the first time I’ve performed the phantom pregnancy spell on myself, and you should know that it’s very complicated. You can’t hope to learn it just by watching me do it once. The spell is very exhausting to cast, so after the demonstration, class will be dismissed,” said Mrs. Caprex.

She cast another white spell circle, summoning a spirit from the crystal ball on her desk. “Ready, Jortathan?”

“Ready, mistress,” said the spirit in its usual creepy voice. 

A ring of white magic glowed, as wide as a hula hoop, above Mrs. Caprex. It passed down over her body, shining light into her as it moved toward her feet. The spirit wailed as it was sucked into her belly, hidden behind her robes. 

And before Luz’s astonished eyes, the teacher began to grow. 

The most obvious thing at first was her breasts. Since her belly was hidden under her teacher’s robes, the tightening of the fabric across her chest was more easily visible. Her breathing became heavier, and after a few seconds, the folds of her robes started to spread apart, revealing the white furry skin of her pregnant belly. 

Luz swore she could hear a creaking sound as Mrs. Caprex’s hips widened. Her butt plumped up too, though it was barely visible under her robes. All the while, the goat demon’s belly kept growing, swelling out of the folds of her robes. There was a sudden moist thwop sound as her bellybutton popped out. 

It was over in only ten seconds. Mrs. Caprex looked full-term pregnant, with the huge belly, enlarged breasts, and wide hips that were expected of a woman in her condition. Her posture had changed, leaning back to counterbalance the weight of her pregnant belly. 

“And that,” she said, panting softly. “Is the phantom pregnancy spell. Jortathan, are you alright in there?”

Her mouth moved again, but this time, it was the ghostly voice of the spirit. “Yes mistress.”

“Any questions?” asked Mrs. Caprex. 

Most of the class was stunned into silence, but Luz raised her hand. “How long does phantom pregnancy last?”

“As long as you want it to,” explained the teacher. “Since there’s no real baby inside my womb, I won’t grow any larger or go into labour. I could keep Jortathan in here for the rest of my life if I wanted. In fact, there are historical records of priestesses who got themselves phantom pregnant at age eighteen and stayed that way until death. They had the strongest connections to their spirits and were highly valued as prophetesses.”

“And on the topic of ending phantom pregnancy. All it takes is a simple nullification spell,” said Mrs. Caprex. She spun a white spell circle, and light shone around her pregnant body. 

As Luz stared, the spirit swirled out of her belly, floating in midair. Her breasts shrank, her hips slimmed down, and her belly deflated like a popped beach ball. In seconds, Mrs. Caprex was back to normal, her now-flat belly disappearing into the folds of her robe. 

The goat-headed teacher leaned heavily against her desk. “I know you have questions, but I’m very tired after that. Write down your questions to ask me tomorrow in class. You’re dismissed,” she panted, sitting down on the edge of her desk in exhaustion.

As Luz gathered her books and joined the crowd of students heading for the door, Barcus woofed from beside her. That was pretty crazy. 

Luz barely even heard him. There was a way to get pregnant temporarily, with no consequences, for as long as she wanted. She had to tell Amity about this. 

Notes:

Happy birthday Kusovotan!

My apologies if this is less polished than my normal works. I wrote it in under two hours and didn't give it a second look before publishing.

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