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It's been two years. Two years too long.
The Astral Express had recently been docked at Pier Point, but Ratio had been undertaking an assignment and wasn't present at the time. When his colleagues informed him, he'd had to grit his teeth and pretend like he's indifferent. He hadn't seen them in two years, and his superiors had the audacity to send him away after the Express had already announced their arrival.
It may not have been on purpose, but he'd glared at them upon his return anyway—he'd missed the Nameless. He'd missed Caelus.
But that was a month ago, today is different. He presses his nose into the boy's neck and inhales the scent. It's still the same as he remembers, the sweet and sour combination that is unique to Caelus and Caelus alone. No two people taste the same, but Ratio could never taste another after him.
He drags his lips down the soft skin, over the bumps of his previous bites. Scarred over, the small puncture wounds are barely visible. No one has bitten him since Ratio did. No one would dare, when Caelus is marked by him. It's not an obvious mark, most humans would never take note of it, but vampires can sense it all too well. By marking Caelus, Ratio had made him his and other people should know not to touch what is his.
If someone tried, there'd be hell to pay.
"Veritas..." Caelus sighs softly into his ear and cards fingers through his hair. With the warm body pressing so close into his, he hears—feels—Caelus' heart rate pick up. Whether it's from anticipation, anxiety, or desperation, Ratio can't tell. He should ask... he should ask how Caelus is feeling but he's just as desperate for the contact, so he sits in silence instead, hiding his face in the crook of the other's neck.
Ratio would never describe himself as a lonely man, but when it comes to Caelus, his absence is too loud, too painful. And it hurts, because he's a Nameless. He will always be on the move and Ratio will have to settle without him for too long. Possibly forever. He should be used to it—he is used to it—yet it always feels like he's suffocating when they go their separate ways, back to their own respective worlds.
There's a huff of air on his skin, and he pulls back to look at the Trailblazer who is watching him with a playful smile. "I can almost hear your thinking." He cups Ratio's face and levels him with gentle eyes. "What's wrong, aren't you hungry?"
Hungry? Ratio is starving. He's had to endure months alone, his fingers itching to caress skin and lips longing for the shape of Caelus' lips. "If you want this to end," Caelus had told him once, "if it's too much to bear, I'll understand." But how could he walk away? It's not that Ratio isn't interested in romance. He's had partners throughout his life, some more serious than others. Never has he felt like this, where his entire being aches at the memory of a person next to him, hand in hand as they promise their lives to one another.
So yes, he's hungry—hungry to devour this body that is now pressing against him. Craving to hold it, taste it, sink into its heat and indulge himself until dawn calls and they're pulled apart once again.
He doesn't voice any of this. Instead, Ratio simply says: "I've missed you."
Caelus' smile grows even wider, and he kisses the corner of Ratio's mouth. "I missed you, too," he murmurs into the space between them. Another kiss, and then he pulls back. "Though, we should lie down if you don't want to eat. My legs are falling numb."
Perched over Ratio's lap as he is, he's not in the most comfortable position. But this, they'd found, is the most convenient arrangement for Ratio to feed.
He's right, Ratio is wasting too much time. Spurred by the reminder, he leans back in, plants a kiss into the pulse that smells so sweet before he sinks his teeth into the soft flesh of the neck. He only has a brief moment to revel in the gasp that follows, because in the next second the taste of Caelus' blood fills his mouth and overwhelms his better senses. After months of starvation—physical and emotional—he loses himself in greed.
Before their first bite, Caelus had been hesitant. "Can you even feed off me?" he had wondered. "I'm not a real human, what if I make you sick..." Ratio would've gladly poisoned himself if it meant he could take a piece of Caelus for himself, but he knew there was nothing to worry about. Whether he was born of a mother or created through Aeonic power, Caelus is human. There is no difference in physique or psyche. With all his charms and flaws, resilience and determination, he is human. Ratio had told him as much, back then.
The next question had naturally been: "What do you think I taste like?"
It was a silly thing to ask, given Ratio could smell him and make an educated guess. But he'd indulged him anyway. The conversation had fallen into wild theories and joke guesses from there, deepening Ratio's perception and appreciation for the Trailblazer and his shenanigans. That had been one of those afternoons where he'd walked away drunk on the memory of a bright grin and clear laughter.
"—tas..."
The first bite was completely unplanned. Ratio had thought about it—as a scientist, he wanted to know if an Aeonic human possessed any distinct characteristics that ordinary humans don't. As a lover, he wanted to mark Caelus for himself. But he'd never do such a thing without permission, which he hadn't asked for at the time, nor had Caelus brought it up on his own. Then one morning, after a night spent together, as they were whispering about dreams and such to one another, Ratio had a brief thought: I want him to have a piece of me while he's away.
Ordinarily, that would've meant gifts. Mementos, pictures, handcrafts that are personal but small enough to be carried everywhere. Ratio could think of a hundred different things to give to his beloved, should the occasion arise. But vampires are defined as a different species by more than just their diet. In that one moment of negligence, distracted by the warmth in his arms, he let himself go and instinct took over. Without thought or warning, he'd bit down on the boy.
He hadn't even fed. Just marked.
He'd been apologetic afterward. He'd explained to Caelus his nature before, and explained it again after having bitten him. Caelus had taken it well. Ratio supposes, in some way, he should count himself lucky. That such a bright, darling person with friends all over the universe chose him to love and keep close...
He's never regretted the bite.
"Veritas..."
There's a tug at his hair, less gentle than he'd expect. It takes him a moment to realise his name has been called several times already. He'd been too lost in thought (and the savage vampiric instincts) to notice something's off.
"You're going too far."
The words register too slowly for his liking, but he detaches himself from the flesh he'd been feasting on to look over at Caelus. The Trailblazer flashes him a smile, but it falls just a little short as he takes a deep breath and tries to blink the dizziness away. He's become pale.
Ratio has definitely gone too far. If he weren't a doctor, maybe he'd even panic a little.
"I'm sorry," he breathes, already maneuvering the boy in his arms. He slides him off his lap and moves him to lie down on the bed, then takes his wrist to check the pulse. "You're not in danger, so try to relax. How are you feeling?"
Caelus makes a face. "Kinda weird."
"You're effectively experiencing blood loss, so discomfort is to be expected." Ratio clicks his tongue, and rises from the bed. "This was stupid of me, I should've been more careful. Let me check the dining car for food and supplies, I'll bring you something that can help."
Before he can move away, Caelus grabs his hand and tugs him back. Ratio instantly pauses, turning all his attention to his new patient. He raises his brows at the boy, who grins at him almost mischievously. "Stay."
"Caelus, this is serious."
"So am I," the mischievous grin turns into a shy smile. "Stay. You made me sick, now take care of me."
Ratio blinks in perplexity. "What do you think I'm trying to do? Let me bring you some food to start regaining your strength."
Caelus shakes his head. "I don't feel great, food sounds bad."
"Tea, then. And something light."
Another tug. "Stay. Hold me."
Ratio stays still for another moment, before he sighs. The least he can do is indulge him for a minute.
He sinks back into bed with the boy and pulls him close once again. Caelus' breathing is somewhat erratic—a symptom of his current state—but not enough for them to have to act with speed. Still, Ratio would feel more secure if he addressed the issue as soon as possible. This is his fault, after all.
Miss Himeko might even try to take his head once she finds out.
Caelus, on the other hand, melts into his touch and smiles in content. Ratio almost wonders how he can stay so calm before he realises that Caelus has probably experienced this before. The life of a Nameless is strangely dangerous, or at the very least, it's Caelus who has a talent for attracting trouble.
How many times... how many times has he been in danger that Ratio doesn't even know about?
"Caelus?" He whispers the name, but when he looks down, he finds the boy already asleep.
If Ratio didn't know him better, he'd think there isn't a care in the world for the Trailblazer. But he's heard first hand the recollections of the various threats the Nameless have run into in their travels. The memory makes his chest ache. He pulls Caelus even closer and leaves a kiss on his forehead.
Come next week, they will part again. For how long? How many times will Ratio almost lose him again?
Caelus is a Nameless. On top of that, he's a man born of Fate itself. He has so much to do and see in this universe. He will never be able to settle, nor will Ratio ever make him. That would be far too selfish. It would hurt far too much to bind him.
Ratio huffs a short laugh. What a dramatic way of thinking. Last time Ratio let such thoughts drift to the surface, he'd marked the poor boy without asking.
Come next week, they will part. Ratio will return to his research, and Caelus will return to mapping the galaxies. In a few months' time, they will meet again. They will exchange words, then breaths, then touches as they always do.
And when they part again afterward, they will meet again later.
They will always find each other.
They're human. They'll be alright.