Chapter Text
May 2025
It took a while, before Eddie realised – well, truthfully he didn't really ‘realise’ at all.
He had had a lot going on, alright?! Dealing with his parents trying to steal Chris from him, dealing with fixing up the run down house he had bought that he knew they were judging him for, and hadn't they been going on and on for the past few years that they wanted him and Chris to move back, yet now that he had they were pissy?! There was just no pleasing some people, now was there… (He thoroughly whacked the little voice in his head that sounded like Buck into submission when it said he would probably have been better off finding somewhere to rent first rather than buying outright). He was busy with his new job and hoping a space would open up with El Paso FD (and again thoroughly whacked the little voice in his head that sounded like Buck into submission when it said he should probably have had something lined up before he moved his entire life down there instead of just assuming there would be availability), and learning how to make better money as an Uber driver (his inner Buck judging him for the new car and how much he talked about his own problems before that one lady got fed up and told him how to get better tips from customers – he whacked him into shutting up over that too), and most importantly, he was dealing with trying to get his son to even speak to him again, let alone move back in together.
So he could be forgiven for not asking what Buck was up to – it wasn't as if the guy had ever mentioned it! He was more than happy to help Eddie with his problems and give him a safe space to vent, and why wouldn't he have been?!
He could absolutely be forgiven for expecting Buck to be right where he had left him, because it wasn't as if anyone had mentioned anything otherwise!
Which is perhaps why, when Eddie and Chris showed up at Buck's loft to surprise him, hoping to crash there for their quiet visit back to L.A., they were the ones who were surprised when it was not Buck who answered the door.
Even more so, when they were told that Buck did not live there anymore, and hadn't for some time now.
…WHAT?!
Eddie couldn't believe he was apparently in love with this guy!
Hell, if Buck had been planning on moving out of the loft anyway, the least he could have done would be to tell Eddie!
After all the hassle and stress Eddie went through trying to find a subletter so he wouldn't have to pay a fine let alone break his lease for good (the thought terrified him in its permanency, but Eddie had not even allowed himself to acknowledge that that thought existed in any way, let alone admitted it to anyone), and Buck could have taken it over this whole time?! Then Eddie and Chris would have been able to stay in their own damn house when they came here!
God, Buck was so selfish.
Didn't he ever think of anyone but himself?!
The hassle and stress on top of all the other crap that came with moving that the inconsiderate man could have saved Eddie…
Well, looked like they were surprising Tìa Pepa a day earlier than planned – here's hoping she hadn't just upped and moved without having the basic decency to tell anyone too…
And hopefully she would let them crash at hers, because thanks to his inconsiderate so-called best friend Eddie now had nowhere else lined up for he and, more importantly, his son to stay the night.
And then in the morning, he would get onto hunting the idiot down.
Buck sure had a lot of explaining to do!
December 2024
Eddie hadn't meant to fall in love with Buck, was the thing. He was a MAN for crying out loud!
And Diaz Men were NOT gay!
Well, he would never tell Chris that, of course not – but that was different. Eddie wanted nothing but the best for his kid, and that meant being himself.
Of course, it would be easier all round if Chris could just be a straight cis guy – lord knew how their wider family would take anything else, not to mention the broader world. And sure, Chris had grown up in Los Angeles where he had been exposed to a lot of different mindsets and people, or at least the idea of them.
But he was in El Paso now, by his own choice.
And sure, Eddie was sure there were people who were accepting of… all that, around here – hell, he knew there were!
He just… didn't want his son to have any more difficulties or differences than what he was already dealing with and would be for the rest of his life.
Was that really a bad thing?! He was a father who wanted what was best for his son!
So yes – if Chris was… something, then of course Eddie would support him!
But Eddie… Eddie was not allowed to be any of those… LGBTQ things. Hell, the thought had never even entered his mind that he could be!
And sure, he had heard all the jokes before, kinda knew there was a joking betting pool on when he and Buck would end up together for real.
That didn't mean he had ever put any stock in it!
But when complete strangers who didn't know either of them started making comments without having seen them together with Chris and so made certain assumptions even far away from L.A.…
Well, Eddie had a lot of time to think in El Paso.
It wasn't as if he had much going on beyond fixing up his dilapidated house, working his new monotonous job, and trying to get his kid to talk to him.
And God but he kind of hated that damn house. Buck had been right, he should really have looked at rentals first so he could see properties in person if he was that desperate to buy something rather than taking the first thing he could get.
Why had he ignored Buck anyway? He was right! He had never really brought it up again though, had he… Why not?
Well… maybe Eddie's reaction to it? But whatever, Buck knew he was stressed, Eddie hadn't done anything wrong.
He supposed accusing Buck that trying to convince him to rent something was really just his way of trying to sabotage Eddie's move and keep him away from his son had been a little harsh maybe.
…a son who Eddie knew Buck loved like his own, but he… well, he had been successfully trying not to think about that, hadn't he?
Still. Buck hadn't mentioned renting as an option again after Eddie had yelled at him about his impermanent solution, and had just quietly got on with helping Eddie find a house he could actually afford.
It was an absolute shit hole, and Eddie had known full well Buck was holding back comments the entire damn time he had been helping him with the purchase and all that entailed.
Hell, he had annoyed Eddie so much with his silence he had made Eddie take out his frustrations on him again!
Like ever, Buck just took his licks though. He knew when he fucked up, and would always let someone tell him it, without trying to argue back.
Eddie liked that in him.
Eddie did feel a little bit bad that he had blown up at Buck when the other man had been worried out of his mind about his sister, and then dragged Eddie into helping him look for her.
He had just been so frustrated! He was worried about Maddie too – not that he would ever have thought what had happened to her would be as bad as it had been! – and stressed about the move. And Buck was not helping Eddie's tight schedule by spilling his emotions all over the place and not helping Eddie keep a lid on his own!
…Eddie did feel bad about that later on when he heard Maddie had had her throat slit, and that Bucks worry was justified.
Buck hadn't held it against him, of course, and Eddie hadn't apologised with words – Buck knew he didn't mean it, and anyway, real men didn't bring more attention to it when they had been wrong than was absolutely necessary.
It was a sign of weakness to say you were sorry, after all.
The long drive to El Paso had given Eddie a lot of time to think, and he had managed to let some of his simmering resentment and anger towards Buck go.
He had said a lot recently that Buck was selfish and making everything about him, and trying to make Eddie choose between him and his son – he had outright told Buck that he would lose every time!
As if he didn't already know that… Hell, Eddie was pretty sure Buck would put Chris first in anything as well.
Or, well – he used to.
Still – Buck had, admittedly, done a lot to help Eddie move to El Paso. He had jumped straight in when Eddie had told him about moving to get Chris back. Despite the shock Eddie had seen in his friend's eyes, the man had still just… jumped in feet first when Eddie needed him.
And sure he had thrown a tantrum and told the others before Eddie had wanted them to know, but had Eddie… actually told him they didn't know? He couldn't remember – had Buck thought they had already known? But he and Buck had been discussing the move for ages, it seemed like, had Buck been attempting to sabotage him like he had thought? It seemed like a lot of work to put in to help him, just to turn around and do some underhanded shit to stop him…
Then again, he had been increasingly childish in the run up to Eddie actually moving.
I mean, wanting to adopt a dog of all things?! Was he that desperate for attention?!
Stupid, selfish, childish man.
What apartment in L.A. even allowed dogs, had he bothered to consider that?!
But no, of course not, because Evan Buckley did not consider his actions, he just made snap, impulsive decisions and then jumped in without thinking about the consequences or logistics.
Idiot.
He had been explaining this to the barista at his local coffee shop – the quiet one down the street, that he actually kind of liked – all about how he had moved here to be with his son.
And it was her comments that had sent his brain spinning into overdrive.
“Damn, what I'd give to have a friend like that!”
“So Buck, he helped you find a house just to get you back to your son? …Seriously, he cancelled plans just to help you out? Multiple times? Wow dude, he sounds like a keeper,”
Little comments that made him actually consider how much Buck had helped, but he did make a point to tell her all the things that Buck had been doing wrong as well.
How he was childish and immature and needed to learn how to be alone – how even his sister agreed with that, Eddie had heard her say that to him himself.
“Well I mean, you guys have basically been living out of each other's pockets for years by what you've said,” The barista – Ali, and no, Eddie did not think of Buck's worthless ex who had bailed on him when he was laid up injured at all when he heard her name, thank you very much – had said when he was in one time. “Of course it's going to be an adjustment – for the both of you.”
She was weirdly invested in his drama, he had to admit. She said she was living vicariously through him, and yeah, he was a little weirded out, but it was also nice to just have someone to vent to who was separated from the whole thing and would understand his frustrations about Buck – because it wasn't as if he could discuss those with the man himself when he discussed all his other problems with him on the phone.
God only knew how he would take it, and the resulting spiralling and temper tantrum that would follow.
And Eddie… he had never really considered what it was like for Buck, Chris moving to El Paso. After all, Eddie was Chris's dad. Buck was just…well, their friend. And sure, Buck was in Eddie's will – he was a back up dad, he supposed.
Ali had stared at him wide-eyed when he had said that. Eddie honestly thought he had broken her for a long moment there.
Then – “Dude. You baby trapped the guy!”
Which – he abso-fucking-lutely had NOT, thank you very much!
That was just – no!
He had protested that, but she had pushed, and Eddie had found himself reminiscing on all the ways that… well, that Buck was like family to them over the years.
…he kind of had baby trapped the guy, hadn't he?
But not in a weird way!
They weren't gay!
Well – Eddie had then had to explain that actually, Buck had recently realized he was bi, but that he had blown that relationship up rather spectacularly too just as he always did. No, he didn't know the details, he hadn't asked and Buck wasn't talking.
Just baking a lot so he wouldn't call his ex, which Eddie honestly thought was pretty pathetic – he did appreciate the free baked goods though and Buck's resulting improved skill in that department – the cookies to snack on on the road here had been great.
Not that he would get to benefit from Buck's new found crazy time-consuming hobby anymore, not now that he was down here. Damn.
And he had helped him, thank you very much! He had protested when Ali had made some apparently pointed comment to the contrary. He had made sure Buck couldn't get his phone to call his ex when he was on shift!
…yeah, she hadn’t seemed too impressed by that when he had told her, but what the hell did she know?
Still: the point was, Buck may have realized he liked dick – and Eddie shouldn't have been surprised, there was just… something about the guy. He knew his own father wouldn't have approved, and indeed had made more than one snide comment over the years. Something about Buck making someone a wonderful wife someday when Ramon had heard that Buck cooked for them fairly regularly that one time…
The point, what had the point been… Right! Buck may like dick now, but, most importantly, Eddie did not thank you very much,
That was fine for other people, but Diaz men were real men – and real men did not like dick of any kind.
Nope, they found a good Latina woman and had a beautiful family with them.
(Eddie had wondered over the years, occasionally, at the hypocrisy of that. His own father had not found a good Latina woman, after all, so why HAD they hated Shannon so damn much?)
Ali had been unconvinced, but she hadn't pushed.
(Eddie had been stupidly grateful, but he hadn't known why. He had hightailed it out of there quickly that time though.)
Whatever.
Sure, Eddie appreciated Buck's company – usually – and he didn't have panic attacks when random people assumed the three of them were a family, not like he had when that one guy had assumed about he, Chris and Ana. Not that that had happened since, and NOT that he had panic attacks.
Diaz men did not panic. (Eddie conveniently shuffled that period of time into a box in his mind, never to be contemplated or thought about again. At the time, he had finally admitted that he was not OK.
Now, he would not be admitting any such weakness.
Diaz men were not weak, and he was not about to give his parents any more ammunition than they already had against him, thank you very much.)
(Eddie confidently forgot a lot of things as and when it suited him, it had to be said – not that you would ever catch him admitting to that.)
And yeah, Buck just… fit with them, in a way that no one else had before – and God knew Eddie's attempts at dating hadn't exactly worked.
Ana had hated Buck, and Eddie hadn't really known why. Looking back… well, there were more than a few pointed comments about if Eddie was even looking for a partner when he already seemed to have one.
When he realized that, one dull December day moping around the town he had grown up in and then ran like hell from, an idea began to form in the back of Eddie's mind. Hazy, at first, by growing stronger and clearer as the days went on.
And when Chris was finally talking to him again and Eddie took him to his new favourite little coffee shop and he met Ali, it got stronger than ever.
Because he hadn't even thought about how much Chris might be missing Buck too.
It wasn't really something they had spoken about. Conversations between them were still somewhat stilted and careful, and generally avoided anything about their life back in L.A.
Eddie figured Chris just wanted to forget about it, having made his life here now, and Eddie was more than happy to avoid the Kim of it all by just not bringing any attention to L.A. in case Chris suddenly decided he wanted to talk about it.
Eddie did NOT want to talk about it.
“Well hey,” Ali grinned over at them as they entered, straightening behind the counter and quickly tucking away the phone she had apparently been scrolling on.
There was only one person in the little cafe, so it was a slow time for business – and Eddie had to do a double take and check on them again where they were slumped back in their booth, mouth hanging open. No, he was pretty sure they were just sleeping, not dead.
Scratch that – definitely sleeping, going by the snort-snore they let out a moment later.
“If it isn't my favourite bitching buddy!”
Eddie rolled his eyes, but smiled good naturedly, approaching the counter with a curious Chris. “You have many of those?”
She shrugged, looking unrepentant, “Maybe. But none as interesting as you, handsome,”
Chris wrinkled his nose and made a disgusted sound at Eddie's side as she winked exaggeratedly, causing him to glance down at the teenager – but depressingly not nearly as far down as he had to just a few short (VERY LONG) months ago. “Gross. Please don't flirt with my dad, lady. Trust me, you do NOT want to date him,”
OK, Eddie felt like he should be offended both at that and at how Ali threw back her head and laughed.
“Oh trust me sweetie,” She said, amused as she looked back at them. “I ain't interested in your dad that way at all. I'm gay as hell, for starters, and aro on top of that. No thank you,” She gave a theatrical shudder, and Chris chortled a bit, leaning against the counter as he relaxed a bit.
Eddie, however, frowned – huh, he hadn't realized she was a lesbian. He thought only guys were called gay… Well, guess not if she called herself that, right? But – “Aro?” His brow wrinkled in confusion, and Chris gave him an epic eyeroll in return.
Yep, his baby boy was most definitely a teenager.
(His inner Buck spoke up saying he was most definitely a Diaz too – they were all bitchy as hell, apparently. Eddie promptly muzzled him.)
“Aromantic Dad, duh,”
Eddie rolled his eyes at the attitude, and gave Ali a pained look, as if – ‘you see what I'm dealing with?’. She just grinned at him, enjoying his pain.
“Right,” She smiled at Chris, then her grin took on a mischievous glint, “Hey, you reckon your dad knows what that means?”
Chris turned to scrutinise said dad for a moment, then – “Nope.” He turned back to Ali, and – well, Eddie would protest, but he actually didn't. Was it something he should know? It sounded… vaguely familiar, but more as if he had heard it somewhere once or twice before rather than something he had known once upon a time but had forgotten.
Ali took pity on him, and explained; "I'm not interested in romantic relationships,” She supplied, “Well – for a very simplified explanation. It just… isn't something I want, you know? That whole white picket fence, two and a half kids, someone constantly in my space… no thank you!”
Eddie blinked, surprised.
But… wasn't that what everyone was supposed to aspire to? Find someone, settle down, start a family.
“You don't want a husband? Well – wife I guess?” He blurted.
“Hell no! Why would I?”
“Well – isn't that what you're supposed to do?”
Chris looked at him oddly at this, but Ali was worse – she looked more pitying. “No honey. Not at all. Whoever told you that is an idiot – actually, whoever told you a lot of what you think is an idiot. What do you boys want to drink? Sorry honey, I didn't catch your name? I mean, I can guess, but…?”
Chris grinned slightly. “I'm Chris. Does Dad come here a lot?”
She grinned widely. “Nice to meet you Chris. I'm Ali. And why yes. Yes he does! Please tell me your order is going to be something more interesting than your dad's dark as his own soul plain black coffee? It's as if the man is allergic to happiness or something!”
Chris giggled a little at this, and it wasn't a sound Eddie really heard these days – not since he had become a pre-teen and his little boy had started acting more adult. Christ, Eddie missed the days when his baby didn't think he had to act so grown up… “It is,” He chuckled. Then ordered some… monstrosity that Eddie didn't even know most of the words to.
Ali's grin had widened the more he spoke, and she was practically bouncing as she rang them up. “Awesome! Gotta say, I was a little worried you'd be a stick in the mud like your old dad here. I'm glad to see that is not the case!”
“Hey!” Eddie complained, “I'm not old!”
Chris gave him a deadpan look Buck would say he got from Eddie but that Eddie would firmly deny. “That's what you got from that? Sure Dad…”
“So,” Ali leaned forwards conspiratorially as she moved behind the coffee maker to get their drinks. “You mind if I join you guys for a bit? It's dead in here, and I am dying for some new info! Your dad is kind of light on the details he wants to avoid,” She informed Chris seriously. “I bet you have loads of hot gossip for me!”
Chris grinned slightly. “Oh? Like what?”
“Weeeell,” Her grin grew, “I'm betting you know this Buck guy? I have oh so many questions about him!”
Chris's grin grew at the mention of his favorite person (well – formerly favourite person; he was a teenager now after all, and Buck just wasn't cool anymore).
Eddie resigned himself to the next however long of his new friend and his kid gossiping about him.
He only hoped this wouldn't be too embarrassing…
Ah well – at least he was here to do damage control…
“So!” Ali thumped a drink of her own down on their table a couple minutes later and then plopped herself into a vacant chair. “Where to begin!”
Eddie was eyeing Chris's drink, more cream than anything else it looked like, and just how much sugar was in that thing?! He wasn't going to push though – he didn't want Chris to stop talking to him again.
He blinked, and looked up at Ali. “Huh?”
She rolled her eyes, and Eddie saw Chris grin out of the corner of his eyes, leaning forwards as he took a slurp out of his straw
A straw! In a coffee shop drink! (He was fairly certain Chris was not actually drinking a coffee – he'd better not be, anyway.
God, his mother would kill Eddie and hide his body probably if he was.)
“How do you know Buck?” Chris immediately asked, and Eddie just knew the answer was going to embarrass him.
“Your dad never shuts up about him,” Came the prompt reply and yep, there it was. “Never met him, but I did stalk him on social media. Wowza! I mean, I'm not into guys, but if I was…” She leered a bit, then apparently remembered she was talking to a child – a child who had practically been raised by the man in question going by what she had pieced together – and blushed a little. “Er, sorry. He seems pretty badass though, there's loads of results when you Google him!”
Chris laughed a little at that, but Eddie thought he seemed a little… sad? What was that about? “Yeah, he's the best,” Chris said quietly, fiddling with his drink.
Ali eyed him speculatively, then asked another question. “So how'd you meet him? I mean, I know he worked with your dad, but how did you meet?”
“Oh,” Chris perked up a bit, looking up at them again. “It was after an earthquake – our first big one in L.A. Dad's shift ran over, so I was stuck at school for ages. Anyway, his car was blocked or something, I can't remember, but Buck gave him a lift to pick me up and then dropped us home. Then he introduced Dad to Carla and kinda… I dunno. I used to call him my best friend,” Chris admitted with a chuckle, a blush staining his cheeks. “Super embarrassing, right?”
Ali chuckled quietly, a gentle smile on her face. “I don't think so…” She mused. “I'm betting he loved it,”
“He did,” Eddie agreed with a chuckle, and saw Chris look at him in surprise, and then his expression turned thoughtful. “Said I was instantly downgraded to second best friend – that there was no competition,” He rolled his eyes fondly, and saw Chris's pleased grin even as he ducked his head to hide it.
“I bet he misses you now you're down here,” Ali spoke up, and Chris looked up quickly. “Maybe even more so now you're dad's here too. You still talk as much as they do?”
Chris looked uncomfortable, and looked down at the table again, picking at his cup. “I, uh, not… not really,” He mumbled, and Eddie blinked in surprise.
“He hasn't contacted you?!” He felt anger stirring in his gut. Christ, Buck knew how desperate Eddie had been to get in contact with Chris when the boy was refusing to speak with him, and he had just cut contact with him?! What, as soon as he left L.A.?! Jesus…! What, was it out of sight, out of mind?!
“Uh, no,” Chris still wasn't looking up, wasn't meeting either of their eyes.
Ali looked a lot more understanding than Eddie felt, as if she knew something Eddie didn't.
“No, I, uh… He reached out, um, a – a lot. I… I, um, haven't really been replying?”
Oh.
Well.
“Well, you've been busy,” Eddie shrugged it off, giving Chris a smile. “It's hard moving to a new town, a new school, right?” He forced some cheerfulness into his tone, and saw Ali raising an apparently judging eyebrow at him.
“Uh, yeah…” Chris mumbled, and Eddie… had never really thought about it?
Like, he knew that Chris and Buck spoke outside of when Eddie was part of the conversations, knew they texted or whatever.
Hell, Eddie himself had drafted in Buck to speak to his son when he was too uncomfortable to or when he couldn't get through to him on multiple occasions over the years!
But… he had never even really considered if they were still speaking when Chris moved to El Paso.
And just now, when he assumed Buck had cut contact, when he had been angry about that… Did that mean that he had been assuming all along that they were in contact? That Chris was speaking to him? They hadn't really spoken on that awkward as hell birthday call, and Eddie wasn't really sure if Buck had ever really mentioned it.
How would Eddie have reacted if he had?
Hell, he would probably have been annoyed if he had found out that Chris had been speaking to Buck when he wasn't speaking to Eddie – even more so if Buck never bothered to mention it. Why had Eddie never asked?
But to hear that Buck had been reaching out but Chris hadn't been responding? Well, it made him feel a little better, actually.
At least he wasn't the only one.
And hey, Buck hadn't even been the one who had fucked up badly enough that he had sent his kid running to his domineering grandparents when he had walked in on him hugging his dead mothers doppelganger.
Yeah, it made him feel a little better that Chris had been ignoring Buck too.
At least Eddie was slowly but surely repairing his relationship with him!
And now that they were in El Paso, did it really matter if Chris and Buck didn't have as much contact? It wasn't as if Buck would've been babysitting anymore after all.
If Chris didn't want to speak to him much, that was his choice.
Buck would just have to suck it up.
…he was a little surprised Buck had never whined about it, actually, and he voiced that – he hadn't even meant to. “Oh! He never said,”
Chris looked up at him, surprised. “Huh?”
“Buck,” Eddie explained, seeing Ali's look. “He, ah, never said you guys weren't really speaking. I'd have expected him to whine about it, honestly, like he does everything else,”
Chris looked at him a little oddly at that, but just shrugged. “Dunno,” He mumbled, back to staring at his hands picking at his cup.
Ali was definitely staring at Eddie and judging him, but Eddie didn't know what she could possibly be judging him for.
Then – “So you miss him, Chris?” She asked abruptly, and Chris’s head shot up as he stared at her with wide eyes.
A blush slowly started darkening his cheeks, and – “...yeah.” He admitted. “I guess… yeah,”
She smiled slightly, gaze far more gentle than it had been on Eddie. “I'm not surprised,” She mused, “From what I've heard, the guy's basically raised you for the last… how many years have you known him?”
Chris was definitely blushing. “Bout seven years,” He mumbled. “Actually, I, uh,” He cleared his throat, and didn't dare meet either of their eyes. “I used to call him Papì, sometimes. Just… in my head.” He shrugged, and Eddie blinked.
He hadn't known that.
“I didn't know that,”
Chris shrugged again. “I was a kid. I dunno, it's stupid! But then you started dating again and Ana said he wasn't even close to being my dad, and I needed to grow up, and I…”
Eddie felt a swell of anger rise up within him, and he scowled. “She said what?!”
Chris shrugged miserably again, and this was a far heavier conversation than Eddie had been expecting bringing Chris here for a supposedly light hearted afternoon. “I dunno. She, uh… I don't think she liked him much?”
Eddie snorted at that, “Understatement,” He admitted, then cleared his throat, deciding in the moment that if Chris could admit something potentially embarrassing, then… well, so could he. “She, uh… She made…various comments, I guess. About why I was even dating her. Why I was looking for a partner, when, well…”
“You already had one?” Ali supplied dryly when Eddie's words failed him, and Chris looked up with wide eyes.
“Buck?!”
Eddie shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I guess? I mean, he did kind of help a lot in those days… What with COVID and all…”
Chris was already shaking his head. “It wasn't just COVID, Dad. I mean, I ran away to him when I was mad at you that time!”
Ali's eyes lit up at that, apparently sensing more juicy gossip and another piece of the puzzle that was ‘BuckandEddie’.
Eddie's mouth was moving before he could gain control of it, however; “Why didn't you this time?” He blurted, and then paled dramatically. Shit, he had NOT meant to bring that up! “Um, uh, I mean –!”
“What, when I left L.A.?” Chris sneered. Then he dropped the attitude, looking miserable again as he shrugged. “I… dunno. I… I wasn't really thinking? I just… I wanted to get away. And then Grandma called, and –”
“Wait, she called?!” Eddie blurted, flabbergasted. “No, you called her!”
Chris looked at him oddly. “No I didn't? I mean, she texted first and we were talking a bit and then she called and I told her everything and…”
“And you asked her to come bring you here.” Eddie finished with an eyeroll, and was then taken back when Chris just frowned into his drink.
“...I don't… know, actually. I mean, I think I asked? But I don't… I don't remember asking, I guess? I was just…just so… so mad and hurt and… everything, and then they were there, and then I was apparently moving here, and you didn't want me anymore, and then we were on the plane, and…”
“Wait wait, hold up!” Eddie jerked forwards, staring at his baby boy wide eyed. “I didn't want you?!”
Chris shrugged, not looking at him. “It's fine Dad. I know… I know I was an accident, alright? Neither you or… or Mom wanted a baby. You were just… you were just kids, y'know? I wasn't… wasn't wanted. And with me living with Grandma and Abuelo, you got to actually live your life, you know? I…”
“Chris, you are my life.” Eddie said strongly, his heart shattering more than a little as he saw the surprise in his baby boy's eyes. Dios mio, how had things got so messed up that Christopher was surprised by that?! “I have never regretted having you, do you hear me? Never! And yes, sometimes it's been tough, and yeah, I was kind of a mess and screwing up when we moved to L.A. But like you said – we met Buck, and he introduced us to Carla. Gotta tell you buddy, she was an absolute godsend back then,” He admitted. “I'm not sure I would have managed all the paperwork and everything for us to stay there without her. And Buck… Well, I guess he helped too. He was just… He'd come when we asked, you know? I mean, I could literally drop you off at his place with no warning and he would just… hang out with you for the day, even when he was injured!”
Chris smiled somewhat shakily. “They are awesome,” He agreed quietly, then smirked slowly. “Plus, I'd literally be dead without Buck, so…”
Eddie shuddered, remembering back to those absolutely soul destroying few seconds when he had thought his baby was dead when Buck had… when Buck had…
It was not an image he was likely to forget in a hurry.
“You also wouldn't have been in danger if it wasn't for him,” He pointed out dryly, shoving those thoughts aside, determined not to dwell on them.
Chris shot him an odd look at that, while Ali was staring wide-eyed and looking like she had SO MANY questions.
Eddie… didn't entirely blame her, but he really hoped she wouldn't ask them.
“Dad, you are literally the one who dropped me off with no warning.”
Eddie fumbled for an answer to that for a moment, because… well, he had done that, hadn't he. “He needed cheering up!”
“Sure. I suppose if you want to play the blame game, you can blame Bobby for us both being in danger that day then,” Chris said blithely, then slurped at his drink as if he hadn't just said something completely out of left field.
Eddie blinked at him. Nope, still didn't get it. “Bobby? What does Bobby have to do with anything…?”
“Well, he's the reason Buck wasn't working,” Chris pointed out, as if this was NOT nonsensical information.
“...huh? Chris, what the hell are you talking about?”
Chris just blinked at him, looking as flummoxed as Eddie felt. “He wouldn't let him back? Dad, do you actually not know this?!”
“Know what?!” Eddie was beginning to feel somewhat frantic, and he had absolutely no idea why. “Wouldn’t let him back where?!”
“To work? It's the whole reason Buck sued?”
“Buck sued because he wasn't listening to the medical professionals and wanted to return before he was cleared?!”
“Dad.” Chris was staring at him in disbelief. “Dad. I know you were pissed around then – but did you really never ask Buck what was going on? I mean, I know Bobby and Maddie and that were saying a lot of bull – um, rubbish around then. I don't know everything, but Buck and Carla explained some when I asked, and Denny and Harry were sharing what they knew too and we kinda… pieced it together. May helped. But seriously Dad. How do you not know?!”
“Chris, I have no idea what you are talking about. Buck wasn't listening to the medical professionals, he wasn't cleared to work! He didn't want to work a desk job, he pushed too hard – he gave himself a pulmonary embolism!”
“Dad.” Chris sighed, and Eddie never, ever wanted to have his kid look so disappointed in him again. “Buck was cleared – he was cleared by a bunch of people. I asked Carla about it, she was helping him with a bunch of the paperwork – didn't you know? The embolism was his body reacting against the screws they put in his leg – you know, the screws he had because Maddie convinced him not to get the bone grafts his doctor wanted? Carla was pretty mad about that. And she said that that desk job they had him on was really stupid while he was on blood thinners. Something about it being more dangerous than active duty, cause he was more likely to develop clots,”
“But – no, no, Bobby said he couldn't work on the blood thinners! And you don't know all the things he told his asshole lawyer!”
Chris just shrugged. “Yeah, alright, Buck said he should have gone with a different lawyer. But all that stuff he knew was public record, wasn't it? I mean, he and Carla said they used examples of stuff that had happened on the job to show how Buck was being treated unfairly?”
“But – no, he wasn't being treated unfairly! He wasn't listening!”
And why the HELL was this coming up NOW? Hadn't they moved past this?! Buck had apologised, and the firefam had – eventually – forgiven him for ‘Bucking things up’ as he always did. As they always did, forgiving him.
Eddie had forgiven him!
Chris looked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. “Dad. You know he won, right?”
“What are you talking about?”
“His lawsuit? He won?”
“No he didn't! He said he dropped it!”
“Yeah. Cause all he wanted was his job back. You know he turned down several million dollars, right? I mean, Carla said they still gave him all the back pay he missed – she was pissed about it all, something about disability ending when he was cleared and recertified, and then Bobby not letting him earn any income? I dunno, I didn't really get it back then, and it was ages ago. I still remember though, cause you were so angry all the time and you kept making really stupid excuses for why I couldn't see Buck,”
Eddie… had made some pretty bad excuses, hadn't he. “He abandoned you when you needed him!”
Chris looked at him oddly. “No he didn't? I still spoke to him all the time?”
Eddie's brain kind of… blue screened a bit at that. “...huh?”
“Yeah, we’d talk on facetime with Carla? And Abuela? He was having nightmares too – didn't you know? I guess it… It helped a bit, you know? Knowing Buck was still scared too?”
Eddie… had not actually known that, no.
He had never thought to ask – the possibility had not once ever even crossed his mind, not that he could remember.
“...oh. I, uh, I didn't know that.”
“Well this all sounds very dramatic!” Ali broke in suddenly. “And I'm very sorry, but I absolutely have to ask: WHAT happened?!”
Chris brightened, and a grin started to form on his face as he leaned forwards eagerly. He was always excited to talk about his favorite person, but even before moving down here it had been some time since Eddie had seen this enthusiasm. It wasn't cool as a teenager, but he guessed there must be exceptions or something…
“You said you Googled him, right? Did you see the ladder truck bombing?!” He asked excitedly, as then abruptly sobered, looking like a little kid again. “I, uh… I found videos. Um, years later. It was…” He shuddered and looked like he was about to cry, before he shoved it aside, firming his shoulders and seeming to will himself stronger. “Uh, it was, not good. Did you see any of it?”
Ali softened instantly, her own gaze looking a little haunted – and she hadn't even been there, nor did she know the guy behind Eddie's stories personally. “I did,” She admitted. “I admit I kinda… deep dived on him. Just wanted a picture or something, the basics – a face to put to the name, y’know? But then the more I learned about him…”
“The more you wanted to doom scroll?” Chris finished dryly. “Yeah, I get that. I, uh… I didn't want to think about L.A. much after I got here, y’know. And I wasn't talking to Buck but… I missed him, y’know? So I, uh…” He glanced at Eddie, looking vaguely guilty, but then finished his confession. “I googled him too, I guess? And, like, I knew about a bunch of it already y’know? But I'd never seen it?”
“Yeah,” Ali murmured. “I get it.”
“Right. So. So, uh, Buck's leg was… kinda a mess after that. Not as bad as it could've been, but he healed up and recertified, y'know? He broke records!” He bragged excitedly, and there was the little boy Eddie had been missing. “But then at his party he, uh, he threw up a bunch of blood. Had a blood clot in his lung, I think, and he had to go on blood thinners.”
Ali blinked, and interrupted. “What, he wasn't on them already? Injury like that, there's no way he didn't need surgery!”
“No, Carla said there was some mess at the hospital. She said he got a bunch of money as compensation or something, I dunno. Anyway, he wasn't allowed back at the station after that, and he was upset about it. I didn't really get it then but looking back… Well, I still dunno what he was thinking, but I guess I get it a bit more? Anyway, Dad dropped me off with him one day cause Carla was out of town and so was Abuela so there was no one to watch me, and we went to the pier. ‘cept, that was the same day the tsunami hit.”
“I saw he was in that,” Ali replied, “He got the carnegie medal or something for his actions that day, didn't he? Saved a bunch of people apparently,”
This time, Chris looked just as surprised as Eddie. “Wait, what?”
“I didn't know he got a medal!” Chris exclaimed, then he smiled. “Awesome. Yeah, he'd already saved a bunch of people before the water went out again and I fell back into it. Buck searched all day for me. Pretty sure he blamed himself for me being there at all…”
“He did.” Eddie admitted. “But we got passed that!”
Chris just shrugged. “Kay. Anyway, that's what happened – Buck saved me. Only, then he found out why he was really being blocked from working. He… wasn't happy about it…”
“I still don't buy it.” Eddie declared. “We had all his medical records! The ER doctor said he pushed too hard, caused the embolism! Maddie told us all! And then Bobby came in one shift and told us out of nowhere that Buck was suing us, and that we weren't allowed to speak with him! He abandoned me – abandoned you!”
Chris sighed heavily – a sound far too world weary for a boy his age. “Dad, did you ever ASK Buck what happened? Or did you just listen to Bobby?”
Eddie… didn't actually know. It didn't help that all his anger from back then was returning now. “I trust Bobby!”
“Sure – doesn't mean he's not a liar. Dad, Buck was cleared – he was cleared by everyone. I dunno what Bobby was telling the L.A.F.D. that had them listening to him over Buck's doctors and people, but I heard Bobby was lucky to get out of that with his job at all, let alone as unscathed as he was. He really fucked up apparently. I dunno the details, but Carla was furious, and I heard her and Bisabuela talking about it a lot. Bisabuela had… a lot of names for Bobby,” He looked momentarily terrified as he thought back to the irate woman's rants back then.
It had not been pretty, and Bobby Nash was lucky he had not run into the elderly Diaz matriarch back then.
Chris was sure she was still pretty frosty towards him even today.
Like seemingly anyone who ever met the guy, she adored Buck.
…Chris really wanted to call the man he was too afraid to call his second father, but who really was.
He was just… well, ashamed he guessed. And scared.
What if Buck didn't pick up?
It had been months, after all. Months of Chris ghosting him.
It was getting harder and harder to respond to Buck's messages after all this time, even though the man still reached out like clockwork.
Part of Chris wondered how long he would keep it up.
Another part of him hoped he would never give up – even though he knew that, realistically, by now Buck was not expecting a response.
That just made him feel even worse and increasingly nervous to actually reply.
He would – he would!
One day…
As for Eddie… Well, he had some new food for thought.
Would he actually dig deeper? Doubtful – it wasn't a habit of his.
Out of sight, out of mind after all.
He had left the lawsuit behind them long ago, after all.
But another thought – that other thought… that dug in deeper roots.
Because Buck had been helping him raise Chris all these years, hadn't he. And Eddie, he had let him – he had welcomed it!
Hell, he had expected Buck to drop everything and help him whenever he and Chris needed it – and he HAD, that was the thing!
All this time, people had been saying he needed a partner, a second parent for Chris.
All this time, neither man had been correcting strangers when they made assumptions when they referred to each other as ‘partners’.
Had Ana been right? Had Eddie had a partner all this time?
And look, sex was fine – good, even.
But Eddie was fine with his hand when he needed it, to be honest.
Sex with another person required a certain amount of trust and comfort and Eddie… well, he just wasn't really comfortable giving that to people.
Sure, it was a bit better now that Chris was older – but at the same time it was so much worse, and the thought of trying to sleep with someone made him feel physically ill when he remembered what had happened to end his last relationship.
Buck had said he had cheated on Marisol with Kim, some errant comment.
Eddie had snidely reminded him about kissing Lucy when he was still with Taylor, and told him he had not cheated at all thank you very much.
Buck had actually clapped back at that – something he didn't do often.
He had snapped something Lucy not taking no for an answer and plying him with drinks all night, and that at least he could admit it when he fucked up.
And by the way, Eddie, emotional affairs are still cheating you stupid bastard!
Well – he hadn't actually called Eddie a stupid bastard, but Eddie had got the distinct impression that he had wanted to.
It was probably a good thing that the alarm had gone off when it did, halting their conversation before it could devolve any further.
Then they had just… never picked it up again, and Eddie was content to leave it that way.
Now though…
“I guess you're right,” He admitted. “Buck… we have kind of been partners this whole time, haven't we?”
He was rewarded with an epic eyeroll from his son. “Duh Dad. Honestly, I thought you guys were, like, together for a bit but weren't telling anyone.”
Ali snorted at this, then quickly slapped a hand over her mouth to hold in her amusement. It did nothing to hide the mirth in her eyes though.
Chris flushed quickly, averting his gaze. “Uh…”
“Oh, honey, mo!” She rushed to reassure him. “No, I'm not laughing at you! I'm sorry, it's just – well, I thought the same?!”
“You did?!” Came the chorused reply from both Diazes, though in decidedly different tones.
“Yeah,” She admitted with a chuckle, and at seeing Eddie's wide eyed look of disbelief her grin grew. “Oh come on, Eddie. You never shut up about the man! And from the sounds of it, he puts up with a hell of a lot from you. I mean, if it was me, I would not be letting my friend just take my time and rearrange my plans whenever they were feeling bored or whatever. And seriously, dropping your kid off on him with no warning? Dick move bro – yet he just lets you do it? Clearly, he feels a lot towards you too.”
“No, he just – he's a people pleaser, you know? He… uh, he needs to feel useful? Probably because his parents didn't give him the time of day,” Eddie shrugged.
“He's always wanted a family,” Chris piped up. “Like, it's so obvious. And he's… I mean, he's a total dork, but he's pretty great with kids, y’know? Like, he totally adores his niece!”
“And you guys kinda gave him that family, huh?” Ali pointed out, and –
Oh bloody hell.
Bloody hell.
They had, hadn't they!
And maybe… Maybe they could be a family.
Because really, everyone was always getting on at Eddie to provide a second parent for Chris – which, yeah, he had already done if you thought about it.
And a partner for Eddie, so that he wasn't alone? He had never felt as comfortable or as free to just… be himself as he did when he was with Buck.
And really, they spent a lot of their free time together anyway!
Why pay rent on two places when they could just live in the one?!
And like Ali had said, not everyone had to feel romantic love for someone…
So why couldn't they just… oh, he didn't know. Cohabit or something? As partners in – almost – every sense of the word.
Eddie was fine being celibate – hell, he would gladly steer clear of romantic entanglements for the foreseeable future after the mess of his last few! Or… well, all his romantic relationships really, not that he would be admitting that.
And Buck was certainly a disaster in the relationships department as well, that was for damn sure!
Eddie had no doubt whatsoever that he would be more than willing to be a life partner to Eddie – it would solve so many problems.
And with Eddie giving him the family he obviously craved but would never manage to build on his own (the guy was kind of a disaster, after all), he was certain that Buck would be more than happy to go without sex as well.
Because Eddie was willing to do a great many things, including go against his parents and provide a second parent whom they would absolutely not approve of but whom Chris adored and already loved like a second father by his own admission.
But he was not about to touch another man's dick.
He was not gay, and nothing was going to change that.
Not even for Buck.
…then again, here was a slight flaw in this plan.
Namely: he and Chris were in El Paso, and Buck was in L.A.
Well damn.
Still – something to think about for sure…
Because really, who else would take Buck – overflowing baggage and all? Eddie would be doing him a huge favour by letting him into his little family officially, and letting him be a father to Chris and a partner to Eddie in more than just vague acknowledgments over the years.
Maybe… Maybe one day…