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Language:
English
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Published:
2025-07-02
Words:
1,245
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
1
Hits:
8

Stay out of it. It'll eat you up!

Summary:

An absolutely meaningless, purely humorous story about how Batman is shocked by the sight of an angry Russian woman. 

Notes:

The text written in a regular font is English speech.

The text in bold is Russian speech.

Work Text:

The gloomy landscapes of Gotham City at night are never a pleasant sight. When darkness falls, all the scum of the city comes out and wanders through the dark alleys searching for victims. Robberies, murder, rape are just a few of the things that happen here. No matter how much the police try, or how hard the heroes work, there seems to be no end to the filth. This city has been cursed.

 

Despite this, unfortunately, many people had to return home late. That did not go unnoticed for the fragile girl whose low heels tapped a fast, anxious beat with her hurried steps. Her shiny hair bobbed, and the hem of her coat fluttered like a cloak, revealing her beautiful legs. Such easy prey for rapists. Especially when that beauty is not paying attention. No, she was focused on a beer can in her hands that she couldn't open. On an empty street those metallic clicks sounded loud. Soon, after many unsuccessful attempts the can slipped from the girl's hand and rolled into a dark alley.

 

"Куда, бля?! (Where the fuck are you going?!) You're kidding me!" 

The girl hissed with annoyance and pursued, while the can of beer continued to roll down into the depths of the alley, into the darkness itself.

 

Here's a chance. That's what a suspicious man in a hoodie thought, taking his time to follow this girl. He got close very quickly and quietly, examining this attractive figure, which the coat didn't hide how it flowed around her ass when she bent down to pick up a jar. Yes, he had hit the jackpot! Of course, he shouldn't reveal himself until the last possible moment, just to take advantage of surprise. But thinking that she wouldn't go anywhere anyway, he decided to vote.

 

"Hey, cutie. Don't you know it's dangerous for beautiful girls like you to be walking alone in dark alleyways?" 

A hoarse voice said mockingly. Before the girl could even turn around, a big hand landed with a loud smack on her butt.

 

The criminal smiles lascively, mistaking the bulging blue eyes and trembling body for shock and fear. But in fact, it was anger - no, it's a rage. An all-consuming, terrible rage. After all, nobody knew what this girl had gone through today or how much shit happened to her that day. And now, that filthy, smelly bastard is the last straw.

 

"Ты что, шакал ебучий, берега попутал?!" ("You are a fucking jackal! Did you get anything wrong by any chance?!") came a clear voice in Russian. The girl tossed the bent jar away, followed by the bag on the dirt sidewalk. 

"I will break all your bones, freak!" she said.

 

And without hesitation, she attacked the man like fury, knocking him down with an unknown force. A flurry of punches rained down on his face and body. The girl, not holding back, hit the already poor guy, screaming furiously with every punch, switching between English to Russian and vice versa:

 

"Сука! (Son of a bitch!) I had a disgusting day today, you bastard! I got blood on the sheets this morning! The washing machine is broken! The coffee is burnt! The phone is broken! There are a lot of tasks at work, and my whole body aches from menstruation! I got blood on my pants at the workplace! My fiance cheated on me with my best friend a week before our fucking wedding! I broke the printer, and I'll have to pay a fine for it! I was doused with water twice by a car! I couldn't open the fucking beer can, and now the beer has gone bad! And now YOU, a complete asshole, decided to try to rape me?! Да вот хуй тебе за шиворот! Не на ту напал, ошибка природы! Я тебя так разукрашу, родная мать не узнает! Чтоб ещё только раз попробовал что-то подобное вытворить, я тебя сама из-под земли достану и на куски порву, понял меня!" ("Fuck you! You attacked the wrong one, you a mistake of nature! I'll decorate you like this, your own mother won't recognize you! Just take the risk of doing something like that again in the future, I'll find you myself later and tear you to pieces, understand me!")

 

Finally, she stopped, panting, hunched over the would-be rapist, whose face now resembled a bloody mess. He wasn't whimpering anymore, he wasn't asking to stop, he wasn't apologizing, he was just passed out. On the second attempt, she got up on shaky legs, puffing angrily, picked up her bag. With difficulty steadying her breathing, she opened the bag and suddenly discovered that something was missing in the bag. Keys... She lost her apartment keys. Her shoulders shook, a hysterical laugh escaped her lips, and her gaze fell on the crumpled, opened can lying in a puddle of beer. The cherished jar she wanted to cheer herself up with. That beer, her favorite brand, that jar was the last one on the shelf of the convenience store, the one she considered a sign that the dark streak of that day was over. She just burst out. Large drops of tears rolled down her cheeks, and a howl of despair and sadness rose from her throat. Shaking with sobs, she slid down the brick wall onto the cold sidewalk, burying her tear-stained face, on which mascara was smeared, into her knees. Now the alley was filled not with furious screams and the sounds of blows, but with a woman's anguished crying and howling. So heartbreaking that the local dogs howled in unison. It was the most disgusting day of her life.

 

***

 

And no one noticed a dark figure watching the scene from the rooftop. Even at the beginning, the dark knight noticed how a man chased a girl into an alley. As soon as they disappeared, he hurried to catch the criminal. But after that, it happened. To be honest, he was shocked. However, he was deeply shocked by the change in roles. He was particularly shocked when he realized who the girl was. She had recently started working as an office assistant at his company. Svetlana Belikov was a calm, quiet, and polite Russian woman in her twenty-six . When Bruce saw her for the first time, he couldn't imagine that such a fragile girl could do such a thing. 

 

Looking back into the alley, he saw how gradually her crying began to subside, and Svetlana, sniffing loudly, began to get up. She straightened and dusted off her coat, picked up her bag, and then shuffled towards the exit of the alley. For a moment, she stopped by the lying man, who, with groans, gradually began to come to his senses. The blond eyebrows furrowed angrily, and with a low voice: "На, сука!" ("Take it, bitch!") Belikova kicked the would-be rapist several times in the causal place. Bruce winced at the phantom pain. And he casually wondered if he could raise someone's salary. Besides, that broken printer was old, it's a sin to blame the employee. Maybe he broke down on his own? Besides, who knows, maybe this lady will get lucky, and Bruce Wayne himself will invite her on a date to a beautiful, expensive restaurant? But what, everything can be.

 

Because, yes, he admitted honestly, he simply felt humanely sorry for this girl. But the last option is a last resort only if he has free time from crime fighting and the rest of his job.