Chapter Text
Legend of the Boneknapper Dragon
It hasn’t been long since the end of the dragon war. But it was long enough for this to be an uncommon occurrence.
“Fire!” Hoark yelled as Uncle Gobber’s roof was on fire. “Get the buckets! To the ocean! What happened?” Someone yelled.
“The wind is shifting! Fire Brigade, move in! Bring the Nadders in from the South!” The Chief ordered. “I'm on it!” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at Asher.
“Gronckles, aim for the roof!”
“Yeah!” Fishlegs cheered as he led the Gronckles. We stayed in the air and watched. There was no need to get involved.
“Good work, just a few hot spots left.” The Chief said as we landed in between houses. It was harder to sneak around now that eyes were all on us. My stump still ached even more after today's flight.
“Where's Uncle?” He wasn’t inside. I knew that. I’m just not sure where he is. “No, we can't find him…” Chief was cut off by Uncle Gobber appearing with a cart of weapons. “I'm right here.”
He raised his hook to the sky. “That beast will pay for this!”
“Gobber, what happened?” The Chief spoke kindly to his friend whose house was just burned. “What's it look like? A dragon set my home on fire!”
“What?” Ruffnut asked what we were all thinking. “You pushed me too far this time, you ugly bag of bones!” The dragons might be fighting for dominance to get me off the throne for Queendom but they never attacked anyone of the humans. My only order as Queen was not to attack any humans unless attacked first. I’ve been a kind Queen and these dragons have been under the Red Death for too long. Despite the attacks on my life I've never actually punished them. They won’t be willing to disobey the only order I gave them in a fight for power in fear of retaliation like the Red Death.
“Dad, what's he talking about? Our dragons don't do that anymore.” I wouldn’t punish a dragon but like that. I know they’ve been abused by their previous Queen too much for them to trust me so soon. ”He doesn't mean one of yours. Gobber, for the last time, there is no such thing as a–”
“Boneknapper?!” Uncle Gobber cut him off.
“A what-knapper?” Tuffnut asked, looking at me I just shrugged. “A disgusting, foul beast. Wearing a coat of stolen bones like a giant, flying skeleton.” I just look at Toothless. He just shrugged. “Every dragon has their thing.”
“The Dragon Manual says that the Boneknapper will stop at nothing to find the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. It's awesome!” Thank you Fishlegs.
“Come on, it's just a myth. It doesn't even exist.” Stoick shook his head at his friend. “I'm telling you, it's real! I've been running from him my whole life. He's the one who started this fire.”
“Stoick, we found Gobber's underpants hanging by the stove. They must've started the fire.” Why? No, I don't want to know. “Still think it's the Boneknapper, or just your underpants?” Stoick raised his eyebrow at Uncle Gobber.
“I don't think! I know! Somehow he found me again. That dragon is pure evil.” I highly doubt that. You probably did something to anger the Boneknapper first. Even the dragons who try to get me off the Queendom do it because they fear I'll become like the Red Death and don’t want to live through that again.
“Gobber, it's late, and we're too tired for your stories. Now, get some rest.” Stoick tiredly spoke. And he’s not wrong it is quite late for us to be up without a raid. “You rest, I'm putting an end to this.” He grabbed the wheelcart of weapons, Phil, and walked toward the docks. “Come on, Phil. Let's go. We don't need their help anyways.”
“Baa.”
.
.
God damned it all.
“We can't let him go by himself. All right, Vikings! Grab your shields.” I turn to the other teens. “Yeah! Yes!” The other besides Snotlout shout. “There's no way I'm getting on a boat to go after a fake dragon.”
“The Hatchling Queen is leaving?” Ignoring that I turned to Toothless. “I’ll be back before the week is up. You're in charge while I'm gone.” He didn't like it. I could barely walk without assistance and flying for long periods of time was painful. Spending all day today walking or flying already made my leg ache. “I’ll have Uncle Gobber with me.”
It didn’t make him feel better. “You're gonna have to let me leave by myself eventually.” Toothless scowled at that. He hasn’t really liked the village or the people. On edge more often than not. “The sooner I'm gone the sooner I'm back.” I kiss one of his ear flaps and hop along to the docks.
“Hatchling Queen has left Alpha Toothless in charge.” Someone said as I made my way to the docks. I could feel no one liked it. I was their Queen and still healing. To them I should be guarded and cared for not off alone with untrustworthy new flock mates.
Still no one stopped us as we sailed away.
“Come on! Put your backs into it you lazy dogs! Stroke! You're not even trying! Stroke!” Uncle Gobber yelled after hours of rowing. “How fun is this, right? We got the team back together, another adventure. This is pretty cool, huh?” I said to keep our spirits up.
“Yeah, nothing cooler than rowing until your hands bleed.” Yeah I didn’t believe what I said either, I thought at Snotlout's yell. “I just want you kids to know that it touches my heart, you helping me slay the Boneknapper. True Vikings, you are.” I felt uncomfortable about that.
“Gobber, are we there yet?” Ruffnut asks tired like the rest of us. “Oh, you'll know we're close when your ears explode from the piercing screams. Legend says this dragon's roar is so fierce, it can melt the flesh right off your bones!” Fishlegs fanboyed.
“Not so, Fishlegs. The Boneknapper has no roar at all. That's why he's terrifying. He's a silent killer.” Uncle Gobber happily corrected.
“Wait, so if we don't hear anything... We're dead?” Ruffnut asked. We all stopped. “I don't hear anything.” Tuffnut conferred as me and the other teens froze in fear.
“Baa!”
“AAAAAAHHHHHH!!” We all screamed and at once turned to see Phil.
Bump.
Bump.
Holy shit I thought I was gonna die. “Good one, Phil. Did I ever tell you about the first time I met the dreaded Boneknapper?” Gobber asked, ignoring us.
“I was a young lad, about your age, on summer vacation with my family, when I heard the call of nature.”
“Dad, pull the boat over!” Teen Gobber shouted with urgency. “Didn't I tell ya to go before we left?” Gobbers father chastised.
“I saw an army of Vikings, frozen in battle. Clutched in the fingers of one of the Vikings was a small treasure chest...I had to have it. I reached in and pulled out the chest... It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw. But the frozen Viking was still alive! He started punching me in the face!”
“Oh, my tooth!” Teen Gobber exclaimed.
“And there it was...I never even heard it coming... The Boneknapper! It crashed into the glacier, causing an avalanche of frozen Vikings!”
“The treasure!” Teen Gobber shouted.
“I reached into the water... Only to find the frozen Viking punching me in the face again!”
“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Teen Gobber yelped.
“The Boneknapper wanted that treasure...but I wanted it more!”
“What took you so long?” Gobber’s Father asked.
“You expect us to believe that a frozen Viking punched you in the face?” Snotlout asked not believing a word. “Yeah, twice.” Uncle Gobber confirmed.
“Hey, it could happen.” I said not believing it but wanted to throw him a bone. “What do you mean "it could happen"? It did! But I outsmarted the silent beast.” Uncle Gobber chastised me.
“Um, Gobber, I hate to be a stickler for details, but...Boneknappers are not silent.” Fishlegs hesitantly corrected Uncle Gobber. “Fishlegs, I know what I didn't hear. But, I could feel it…”
“Uh, guys? Are there supposed to be...?”
“I had a sixth sense for danger. I can smell anything…”
“I really think we're gonna hit these…”
“ ...I could taste the oncoming doom!”
We hit rocks. “Whoa…” Tuffnut exclaimed, checking his sister over. I place my hand over my head. There was no blood but it's definitely going to bruise. “Um, I'm tasting rocks.” Asher said leaving the boat.
“Ah, we're here.” The giant rock through the boat made that obvious. Unlike the others who jumped in the water I made my way to the rock. Everyone but Snotlout and Uncle Gobber looked at me weird. Not knowing how to swim is not something I like advertising after all. I point to my prosthetic leg and the others just nod with an oh. Snotlout just rolled his eyes and turned his back to me. Getting the hint I climb on and let him swim me across.
“Ugh. Now we're stuck in the middle of nowhere, and no one even knows where we are!” Ruffnut said once we made it to land as she looked at the sinking boat. “Except the Boneknapper. Legend says…”
“Hey, you know what legend also says? Stop talking!” Snotlout cut Fishlegs off. “Okay, just hold on one darn second…” Fishlegs threw down the oars ready to fight Snotlout.
“No need to panic, kids. I've been shipwrecked many times!” Uncle Gobber cheerfully to hopefully calm us down. “Oh, well that's...comforting.” Not.
“You never forget your first shipwreck... I was stranded on an island, with only my broom. It was a very small island. It's no wonder the Boneknapper found me again. He never forgave me for taking that treasure.There was another island. My only escape. But I was surrounded by blood-thirsty hammerhead sharks! I only had one chance. So I ran across the shark infested waters.”
“Take that! Watch it! Nighty night, fatty! Someone forgot to brush!”
“I didn't think I was going to make it. But then, from the depths of the ocean leapt forth...a giant hammerhead whale!”
“Whoa! So the hammerhead whale ate the Boneknapper?” Fishlegs interrupted. “Almost, but he got away. Years later, the dragon hunted me down again and chased me into the jungle.”
“All I had was my trusty egg beater. I carved through that thick brush as fast as a jungle cat. Still, the Boneknapper was right behind!”
“Ah, azaleas!”
“I ran up the side of a volcano and courageously leapt across the fiery crater. Then, deep within the burning volcano burst forth a giant hammerhead yak!”
“Okay, wait a minute. Now you're saying a giant hammerhead yak leapt out of the fiery volcano and ate the Boneknapper?” Tuffnut questioned as the story becomes even more unavailable.
“You would've thought so, wouldn't you? But the dragon got away again! I knew the boney scoundrel would keep coming after me… So, I set up a gauntlet of traps, and waited for the beast. And when he was ready... he charged! And then I ran like the wind! But the traps failed! Then, captured, I did what any brave Viking would do…”
“ Help!”
“The Gods must've heard my prayers. It was Thor! He tossed a mighty thunderbolt.”
“Aw, you missed.” Gobber told Thor.
“Wait for it…”
“Then, from the center of the earth blasted forth... The hammerhead yak riding the hammerhead whale!
“Deploy the yak.” The Hammerhead Yak yelled,
“Yes! Oh, my back!”
“Whoa... the whale saluted you?” Fishlegs yelled as we all slowly began to check out.
“Can you believe it? But the Boneknapper got away again! He found me on Berk and set fire–”
“Are you kidding? I don't believe any of this.” Snotlout interrupted. “Yeah, you totally made everything up!” Tuffnut agreed.
“Come on, Gobber, it's time to get out of here!” Ruffnut spoke after her brother.
“We need to get home!” Snotlout.
“You don't even have any proof that that thing exists!” Tuffnut.
“Of course I have proof. I still have the treasure. This stunning belt buckle.” Uncle Gobber showed us the buckle he's been using to hold up his pants for years. “It was in the Viking's treasure chest. It's kept my pants up for years.”
“It is stunning.” It's bone Fishlegs not gold. Asher pushed me and I fell. I placed my arms in front of me and they took the brunt of the fall. I got up rubbing the rocks off my palms and ignored the blood. “Um...listen, Gobber. Instead of chasing down an imaginary dragon, maybe we should figure out how to get home?”
“Say no more, I hear ya loud and clear. I've got a plan. Alright, who'd like to be dragon bait?” We all turned to Fishlegs and Phil. Phil did the smart thing and slowly backed away from Fishlegs.
~~~~~~~~
“Um, Gobber, are you sure this is safe?” Fishlegs asked, pretending to be Uncle Gobber.
“Safety's overrated. Okay, here's the plan. The Boneknapper wants me, right? He comes down that trail, sees Fishlegs, thinks it's me, rushes Fishlegs, causing Phil to trip that rope, dropping that rib cage and then we rush in and finish him off once and for all!”
“It's sad when they get old.” Snotlout whispered to me. Okay, I let this go on too long. “Gobber, you're taking this way too far, okay? You need to face it. There is no such thing as the Boneknapper!” I’m tired, in pain, and wanna go back to Toothless.
“Wormsquat! Now, get into position. Way to go Fishlegs, you're doing fine!” Uncle Gobber cheered. “No wonder the entire village thinks you're crazy.” How has this man survived for this long?
“Hello? He sees dead Vikings!” Snotlout pointed out. “Yeah, especially that thing about the hammerhead yak…” Tuffnut agreed.
“Um, guys...?” We ignored Fishlegs again.
“This is a complete waste of time.” Asher pointed out. We started arguing amongst ourselves. “Guys, hello?! Turn around! Guys! GUYS!!”
“WHAT?!” We all yelled as we turned to face Fishlegs. He was pale and pointing behind us.
It was silent.
“It's right behind us isn't it?” I asked, knowing the answer. Because of course it would be just my luck. Everyone turned around and there she was. A beautiful girl covered in bones. She roared but nothing came of it.
“Well, what do you know? No roar.” Fishlegs pointed out as we were frozen in front of the Boneknapper.
“RUN!” We did. Snotlout, not waiting for me to hobble, threw me over his shoulder and ran. “Okay, Gobber, we believe you!” Asher at the front yelled.
“Phil!” Uncle Gobber yelled as Snotlout carried me and finally reached the others. The giant rib cage fell on us caging us. The Boneknapper jumped in front of the ribcage and we all ducked. She burned as we used the bones as shields.
“Find a happy place, find a happy place…” Snotlout.
“No, no, no, please...please. He wants my head. I swear he wants my head!” Fishlegs.
“Bring it on! You wait till I get out there and I'll show you!” Uncle Gobber shouted as I looked at the dragon. It hit me like a Gronckle.
“Wait. It searches for the perfect bone to build its coat of armor. The treasure! Gobber, take off your pants!”
“Huh?”
“NO!”
“Wait, listen to me. I think Fishlegs was right. The Boneknapper is supposed to have a roar. But maybe he can't because the bone he needs is your belt buckle.” The Boneknapper broke the ribcage and grabbed Uncle Gobber.
“Gobber, please, you have to give it back.” Asher pleaded.
“No way, it's mine. Uh-oh.”
“Give her back her bone!”
“NOOO!”
“GIVE HER BACK HER BONE!” I shouted almost as loud as the disastrous graduation day.
“NOOOOO! Noooo... oh, alright.” He finally gave in and threw the bone to the dragon. Landing right in the empty spot.
She landed in front of him. “Gobber!” I was unsure of what she would do now. Dragons can and will hold a grudge.
“Alright, you've got me. Make it fast.” He opened his arms to let the dragon do as she pleased. Uncle Gobber’s pants fell.
“That's gonna give me nightmares.” I said looking away.
“Well, at least we have a ride home.” Asher said as Uncle Gobber petted the Boneknapper. “Aren't you cute? Yes, you are. Yes, you are!”
We all got on the dragon and I was once again uncomfortable with how close Asher was to me. “You know, I never doubted him. I was always like: "He's right."” I rolled my eyes at my cousin but wished he was behind me and not Asher.
“His tailbone is hurting my tailbone!” I moved closer to Uncle Gobber as Tuffnut yelled.
“She sure seems happy to have that bone back.” I wondered why. “Well, legend says that Boneknapper's roar is its mating call.” Fishlegs answered.
“Oh, that's just a myth.” Uncle Gobber waved him off. Multiple Boneknapper dragons roars could be heard in the distions. “Uh-oh!”
“Baa!” Phil agreed.
“I think Stoick will believe me now, eh?” Uncle Gobber asked and I had to face palm at that.
~~~~~~
Once the village came into view I whistled. “No danger.” It meant. None of the dragons attacked as the Boneknapper landed in the meeting square. Though they all did stare. “Hatchling Queen came back!” Someone squealed. “So soon?” One asked.
We all gently came down from the Boneknapper. I turned to her and crossed my arms in front of my mouth. “Thank you.” It meant in this situation. She bowed her respect to me as a queen and left.
I turned as Uncle Gobber held it over Chief Stoick’s head and laid down. In the middle of the meeting square. Soon Ruffnut joined me with her brother right after. I yawned as Snotlout and Fishlegs laid down. Asher soon followed and the six of us fell asleep right there and then. I knew I was safe.
I was surrounded by enemies on all sides but I knew Toothless would protect me.