Archive of Our Own ^beta

The fellows had just gotten the blood test results for their patient, a 40 year old female with chest pain and other wavering symptoms. They've gathered in DDX room, waiting for House. A conversation started, and lead to the the statement:

"I believe that you can do anything you put your mind to," Masters says, while flicking through the patients blood results.

"Well yea, you can, miss prodigy," Chase responds.

"Don't let House hear you say that," Foreman advised Masters.

"Too late," House says, he bursts into the room.

"Uh ohhh" Taub says in an almost singsong voice.

"Oh Masters, so young, so sweet," House mockingly puts a hand to his chest. 

"The blood tests show no elevated-" Foreman begins.

"You can do anything you put your mind to (House mimics Masters voice) is one of those stupid phrases that they say so kids won't be depressed by the soul sucking adventure that is life," House interjects, sitting down.

"Well obviously your cynical ass would believe that," Chase replies.

"Oh Chase -- it"s my cynical butt," House leans in, making an gesture for Chase to lean in too before loudly whispering," no potty words in front of the child." House obnoxiously motions at Masters. 

"Ha-Ha very funny, the blood test rules out our previous guesses," Foreman tries continuing the differential.

"You called me down here to tell me that? House asks metaphorically, looking at them like they're morons.

"Actually you were the one that-" Masters starts, before hearing House go;

"BUP Bup bup bup bup bup"

"You were the-"

"Bup bup" 

"You-"

"Bup, the adults are talking," House says. Masters scoffs. "And one more huff from you and it's timeout missy."   

Taub and the others smirk as Masters folds her arms, House notices.

"What are you all smiling for, our patient went into cardiac arrest 3 times in the last 48 hours and you're all just here twiddling your thumbs, Foreman and Taub get a CT, Chase go back to the apartment."

The 3 men get up to leave, Chase tells House on his way out;

"By the way, your breath stinks", Masters remained seated until the door closed behind Chase. House gets up and walks into his office, he comes back out with... juggling sticks?!

"Practice makes perfect," House smiles as Masters sighs.

-----

This is ridiculous, Masters thought, Dr House has me practicing juggling while Sandra Wallis is downstairs coughing up blood?!? I could be helping the case but instead I'm here throwing sticks in the air! OW- that hit my head, ugh. Was Dr. House being serious about this? Do I have to stay here until I master this? That could take DAYS , and my pager hasn't even gone off in the last 3 hours. I need some coffee this is so- OW. 

-----

Eventually the team met up again in the DDX room, it was towards the end of the day and they all wanted to go home, House had another plan. 

"Before you all leave,"House cues to a woman standing off to the side, she comes forward, in full suit and tie, and plays a tune on her trumpet, "Masters, the stage the yours."

"Is he being serious?" Taub whispers to Foreman.

Masters slowly gets up from her chair and grabs the 3 juggling sticks, she attempts to juggle and lasts 4 seconds before fumbling up and having the sticks fall, clattering onto the ground. She tries again and manages to last 7 seconds before the sticks fall again, one landing on her toe, House start over-dramatically clapping.

"Why are you all just sitting there, clap! Get a load of these guys, everyone's a critic am I right?" 

Chase reveals his badly hidden smirk and starts clapping too before getting dirty looks from Taub and Foreman. 

"What? It's funny," he says when he sees Foreman and Taub's faces.

---

Over the next 4 days, House had assigned Masters various different and odd skills to do. He let her participate in the differentials though (mainly because Cuddy caught on to what was happening and forced House to let Masters do her job). Her breaking point was when her pager beeped on Friday afternoon. Their patient, Sandra Wallis, was released that morning and Chase had supposedly gone home for the day, despite the pager suggesting otherwise. This had House written all over it, Masters thought. 

She went to the previous patients room to find a piece of paper stuck to the door, "ROOF" scribbled swiftly across the page. She made her way up to the roof of the hospital, nervously opening the door. She found House on the roof, smiling slyly. None of the other fellows were there, her eyes widened as she saw it.

"Is that a PARAGLIDER?!?!?! Masters freaked out. "What the hell! How'd you- Why'd you- Huh?!?!" Masters spoke a mile a minute.

"Cool isn't it?" House casually said," I rented it for the weekend, I even cleared out a space in the parking lot- Cuddy's a stickler for safety, ugh" he dramatically rolled his eyes.

"Cuddy approved this?" Her voice was shaking as she walked over to the edge and looked down. She then noticed House in gear attached to the glider and similar gear being held in his hand. 

"Of course! Besides, you can do anything you put your mind to!" House said, coming towards her.

"Oh no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no," Masters froze in place.

"Trust me," House said, pulling the gear around her stomach and adjusting the length,"lift up your leg." Masters did so and House put on the rest of her gear, he tightened the straps before walking over ( and subsequently dragging Masters over too) towards the paraglider pitched on the edge of the roof. He got a rope and safety strap and attached them to the paraglider. House guided Masters hands towards the handles of the paraglider. She was shivering from fear.

"OK ok I get it, you can do anything you put your mind to is a stupid phrase, I'm really scared," Masters said, her breathing got quicker.

"Hey, breath with me, ok?" House said, trying to calm her,"In and out, in and out, there you go," he said, reassuringly." Now all you got to do is hold on to the bar, ok? Nod if you understand." 

Masters nodded.

"Ok, three, two , one-" House pushed against his feet, the paraglider flew off the hospital. House steered it almost perfectly, upon House's command, Master's yelled:

"WOOOOOOO", adrenaline and nerves rushed to her heart. They flew for a solid minute (with house circling and hospital parking lot) before gracefully landing in a large circle for traffic cones. House undid their straps from the paraglider and slowly got off, Masters following suit and stumbling as she walked on the ground.

 "You're screaming gave me a headache," House said, coming back to his usual grumpy manner.

"Oh, sorry," Masters apologized.

"No, well done,"House said. He hugged her, she squeezed him tight for a second (still shaken from the paragliding), they then heard a different type of yell. 

"HOUSEEEEEEEEE," Cuddy screamed.

"Uh Oh, Mommy's mad," House said to Masters, "Dammit, I forgot my cane on the roof."

"You didn't approve this by Cuddy!!!??!!!" Masters yelled shocked, pushing away from the hug.

"Of course not, what idiot approves jumping off a hospital building in a paraglider." House smoothly says, turning and walking towards Cuddy.

---

That Monday morning the team came into the room to find a chair facing the corner of the room, no one thought anything of it and Masters dragged it back over to her spot at the table. House came in, carrying a mysterious box, he noticed the lack of chair in the corner and without a beat, asked:

"Who moved the chair?"

"I did," Masters replied.

"Move it back," House ordered, Masters sat up and moved it over. "Now sit down, you're in timeout for messing around last week, jumping off the roof-"

"Jumping off the roof!? The other fellows simultaneously said in disbelief.

"Yes; mommy said that was a big no no, and most importantly, costing me $60 for a trumpet player."

"But you made me do all of that!" Masters objected.

"Exactly, 5 minutes. Sit there and reflect on the idiocy of inspirational quotes," House said while grabbing a sign out of the mysterious box, it read "TIMEOUT" is big, red letters and had a rope attached, he gave the sign to her, saying "to put around your neck". 

"Seriously?" Masters asked.

"Is that backtalk young lady?" House responded sarcastically. Masters sighed, put the sign around her neck and sitting down in the chair, checking her watch. House started the differential, handing out files, they were a minute in and Chase couldn't resist leaning over an nudging Masters.

"Did you really go paragliding off the hospital building?' Chase asked. 

"Chase stand up for the class" House said, he complied. House walked over, grabbed the back of Chase's chair and dragged it over to the corner beside Masters. He then went over to the box and lifted out another nearly-identical sign. 

"What? Come on I didn't even do anything!" Chase protested.

"You talked with someone in timeout," House said, before adding "10 minutes for you" and handing him the sign. 

"But Masters only got 5 minutes!" Chase scoffed, taking the sign.

"Do you want 15?" House asked.

Chase groans and sits down on the chair, checking his watch and sighing. 

Productive start to the day, House thought, he smirked himself before continuing the differential, glancing at Taub and Foreman's shocked faces.