Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Foreword (Unauthorized. Not at all.) by Suigetsu Hōzuki

"Because if the world is going to end, I at least want to laugh at the end." – Sui.H .

Hello there. Retired shinobi? Traumatized civilian? Curious young reader who survived the Infinite Tsukuyomi and is now trying to understand why the world is messier than Sasuke's hair after three days without washing it? Welcome to the official-unofficial, unauthorized record of what remains of the Fourth Shinobi World War!

Yes, the war is over. The good guys won. But no one agreed with the planet beforehand that it should remain whole and normal afterward.

Now, we have:

Pandemonium and social anarchy

Two highly dangerous Uchihas being taken to the Moon as if they were defective packages returned to their cosmic sender — much to the chagrin of the Raikage, who couldn't execute them as he wished.

We have: Albino gods floating around, judging everyone with pupil-less eyes and zero empathy.  They waited until the last possible minute before intervening; how benevolent they are, these alien people.

We also have countless attempts by courts to organize trials for war criminals and the like, to deliver "justice" and appease the people's anger, but these efforts completely backfire — several times, I should warn you.

Civil demonstrations take place in every nation, demanding things like " basic rights " and " Shinobi! Stop almost destroying the world every ten years! ” or, most hilariously, " Shinobi, get lost! ”

We have the Raikage — a media favorite, and my favorite too, by the way — with his authoritarian and controversial statements that are the terror of any lawyer or PR firm working for him, who constantly have to soften his words. (Spoiler: The Raikage doesn't care. Not one bit. And he can't contain himself either. Kumo idolizes him for it.)

We have several newly created and hastily expanded departments to meet the insane demand for: environmental restoration, public and legal relations, and national/global security, and the creation of the UN/Ninja – YES! Now we have that . We also have the WHO/Ninja, and several other departments full of desperate, traumatized, stressed-out people addicted to coffee with aspirin instead of sugar.

And of course, the most important question of all: Who won? The heroes or the villains?   I tell you! The only ones who "won" were deported to the Moon. There wasn't even time for a victory toast. How unlucky for them.

Conclusion: It was a draw! The important thing is that the world was saved. More or less. By a hair's breadth. And for now.

I was there. I saw it all.  Every fiery speech, every "this is unforgivable!" tear, every rebuilding/union plan that fell apart when someone remembered we don't have enough bricks and mortar to fill all the holes. Nor mental health.

And before you ask: no, I didn't fight on the front lines. I fought behind the scenes. Providing moral support to Sasuke. Facing mandatory court summons from Team Taka and facing legal charges without a lawyer.

This book is an attempt (probably futile) to organize the chaos, record the post-war collapse, and perhaps elicit a laugh or two from the reader on this tragicomic journey as everything slowly but stylishly falls apart.

Because if the whole world is going to freak out, crack, or implode in the very near future, then someone needs to be there to laugh a little while sipping a cup of cheap sake with a satisfied expression.

With acidic affection,

Suigetsu Hōzuki

(Team Taka Member | Current Survivor of Global Disaster | Amateur Disaster Critic in his spare and generally inappropriate time | Sword Collector and Volunteer Helper in his spare time)

➡️➡️➡️➡️

⚠️ Pay attention to the warnings. It's important. Don't skip them. ⚠️

Chapter Text

Survival Notice™ – by Suigetsu Hōzuki ⚠️

The following story contains: intense political debates (which I masterfully ignored), ethical discussions about power, human rights being kicked around by grumpy and self-centered military officers, and terrorists who have inexplicably become symbols of hope for desperate people.

It also contains overly talkative Uchihas, suspicious alliances, and a Raikage who doesn't know the meaning of diplomatic boundaries. Oh — and me. Suigetsu. The only one with common sense here.

If you're looking for a lighthearted story, full of love and redemption, something along the lines of happily ever after, maybe you should leave now. This is all emotional survival, social pandemonium, lethal doses of sarcasm, and what's left after the end of the world.

Enjoy your reading. Or don't. It doesn't matter. You've been warned. 

Chapter Text

Approximately a thousand years ago.

A father and a son.

The boy with serious eyes walked beside his father after another routine lesson. His small slippers made a noise on the floor, unlike his father's silent gait, who always preferred to float while sitting. Through the windows, he could see the night sky dotted with stars. The silence between them was comfortable — a silence between two beings who understood each other even without words.

But that night, Indra carried a weight on his chest.

"Father..." he broke the silence, his voice low. "Can I ask you something?"

Hagoromo stopped walking. His calm eyes rested on his son.

"Always."

Indra frowned, as if searching for the courage to give form to what had been troubling him so much lately.

 "You will... continue sharing chakra with humans? You will share... all your power with them? But what if they use it for evil? What if... what if they are weak?" He hesitated. "What if they corrupt the chakra? What will we do if that happens?"

For a moment, the Sage didn't answer. He looked up at the sky, as if listening to a distant music only he could hear.

Then he knelt down, bringing himself to his son's level. He placed a hand on Indra's small shoulder and said,

"You are right to think so, my son. Chakra is power. And all power reveals what lies within the heart."

Indra kept his eyes fixed on the ground.

"Then why trust them?"

Hagoromo smiled gently.

 “Because the human heart also harbors kindness. Because even when someone makes a mistake... it’s not always out of malice. No one chooses the path of darkness because they want to be bad. People choose it because they’re afraid, or in pain, or because they’re lost.”

“But what if they don’t find their way back to goodness? What if they’re lost forever?”

“Then we will be patient. And we will guide them, without imposing. True peace isn’t born of force... but of choosing to want it every day. Constantly. Free will is the greatest gift, and also the greatest responsibility.”

Indra seemed to absorb each word as if he were etching it in stone.

Hagoromo then touched his son’s forehead tenderly, between his eyebrows.

“You have a strong heart, Indra. Protect it. And when the world seems too dark, remember: sometimes, all it takes is a single lit candle for the darkness to retreat.”

The boy nodded, appeased. Meanwhile, in the darkest shadows of Sage Hagoromo's house, a malicious and cunning darkness crept unnoticed.

But there, in that serene moment, gazing together at the starry sky and the full moon, father and son were still united. They still loved and respected each other.

But neither knew... how much this conversation would one day shatter their bond and split the world in two.

Approximately one hundred and fifteen years later.

Broken Bonds; The bed of a rejected and defeated heir.

Toneri approaches slowly, still young and hesitant, confused but determined. His footsteps echo loudly in the room.

"Indra-oji-sama...?"

His ancient, worn eyes open. Indra's gaze is still firm, but blurred by age and overuse. There are scars and injuries that time doesn't erase, only worsens.

"Huh? You again, little Toneri..." His voice is rough, but not hostile. "What brings you here?"

Toneri hesitates, then sits down beside the futon, on his knees. His voice is calm and low, but restless.

"I wish I could understand... why you refuse to see your brother? He asks about you every day."

Indra closes his eyes for a moment, as if the question opened a wound that never healed.

 "Because we fought. Badly. Because he made a mistake," he replied bluntly. "They took what was mine, my rightful place. My brother believes the same nonsense my father did — that giving chakra to humans would help enlighten them. Tsk. But all they did was give fire to a child! They, humans, play with power... and get burned. And get lost. And they continued like this. Suddenly. I proposed... to stop it. But no one would listen."

Toneri lowers his gaze.

"But Hagoromo-sama believed they could learn."

Indra lets out a short laugh — dry as a dead twig.

 “I believed. Because he was foolish. Or… perhaps too kind and gullible. I saw what he didn’t want to see. What Ashura refuses to see. Humans are too young, too selfish. Too unprepared. Each generation becomes even more lost, inheriting the mistakes of the previous one and repeating the same cycle, heading toward destruction and foolishly believing they are… evolving.”

“So you never believed in them?”

Silence.

Indra looks up at the darkened ceiling, as if trying to see the sky beyond the stone.

“I once believed. But faith… is like a temple. When the pillars crack, everything collapses. And now…” — he slowly turns his aged face to the boy who must be his age — “…I have no time left to rebuild.”

Toneri seems small at those words. Still, he insists.

“What if they change one day?”

Indra stares at him. He sees only a blurred image of the child. And for an instant, he saw himself in him — a remnant of the young man he once was.

“Then you will see what I couldn’t. And perhaps, one day, you will forgive me for not waiting and believing more.”

Then he closes his eyes again, his face serene for the first time in many years.

“Tell them, if the time comes… that Hagoromo’s first son watched them and judged them unworthy. Tell them that I waited and waited until the end… to see what the Sage saw in them. Only time will tell if I was right or wrong in the path I chose.”

And with his last breath, his soul passes away. Silently. Leaving little Toneri to contemplate his words.

Chapter Text

When the Moon Appeared

The sky was red.

The ground trembled beneath the feet of the Allied Shinobi Forces. The entire world witnessed the rise of the fearsome Infinite Tsukuyomi. The moon, immense and enormous in the sky, closer to Earth than usual, replaced its silvery color with a scarlet red, the color of blood. The Juubi's peculiar flower bloomed openly, its petals wide open, leaving its single terrifying eye free to reflect its will onto the moon and illuminate the battlefield below.

The transformed Madara Uchiha floated high in the sky, his celestial eyes wide open, maniacal with euphoria, and focused on the moon — so eager was he to witness the fruition of his plan. Obito Uchiha stood on the other side of the field, his flaming thorns casting an eerie red light beneath his stoic face as he stared at the transforming moon.

It was finally happening.

The eternal dream.

It was the end.

The human hearts of the Shinobi Alliance trembled with fear as the two newly ascended gods reveled in victory.

The moonlight changed color, bathing the entire world in its light as the dream of a perfect utopia took hold and gripped the minds of every living soul. Or so it should have been.

Team 7 were the only living beings to escape the genjutsu. Easy enough to deal with, the new gods thought. But they were thwarted time and again by Naruto and Sasuke's new powers.

Then, suddenly, a concentric circle opened on the lunar surface, revealing another structure — an ancient, golden seal with difficult inscriptions that not even the Rinnegan could decipher. And then, they appeared.

Descending from the sky like shooting stars, several silver-haired figures with luminescent Byakugan eyes flashed and formed in the air. " Stop !" one of them said.  A man in flowing robes, a serene expression on his porcelain face, looked around — at the devastating landscape of the earth — and then finally introduced himself.

“ Greetings. I am Toneri Ōtsutsuki, Prince of the Moon.”

For the first time in millennia, the Ōtsutsuki Clan of the Moon had descended to interfere in mortal affairs. Not to wage war. But to prevent the ultimate error.

“ You must not release the goddess from the seal .” — That’s what they said.

“ Kaguya must remain sealed. The Infinite Tsukuyomi disrupts the balance. You don’t know what you’re doing .”

There was shock, disbelief, and anger. After all, who was this Toneri to interfere? Madara Uchiha didn’t like being interrupted or surprised. Obito… neither. They had that in common, after all.

But then, one of the celestials pointed.

“ Uchiha Sasuke .”

Silence. 

" You, direct descendant of Indra Ōtsutsuki. Heir to the Celestial Eye. Your place is not among ignorant mortals. Your bloodline is sacred ."

And then came the revelation.

The Infinite Tsukuyomi was not the perfect dream it promised to be. It was merely a distorted half-truth, purposefully distorted to serve another agenda with an entirely different purpose.

If the seal that bound the Rabbit Goddess to her eternal dream were weakened, the World Eaters — the original, cold-blooded Ōtsutsuki, plunderers of planets and chakra — would feel the call of her renewed powers and thus discover the whereabouts of their rebellious and traitorous princess.

And then they would come.

And who knows… it might even be too late to hide from them any longer.

Chapter Text

Suspension; On the threshold of silent apprehension.

After a long and exhaustive conversation between the only living beings on the planet – and some remaining Edo Tensei – the devastating 4th Shinobi World War was suspended, until further notice, Madara emphasized, and the Infinite Tsukuyomi was hesitantly undone, thus freeing the entire captive population from their sweet, perfect, and unreal dreams.

At first, there was confusion among the people. The lunar genjutsu manipulated the perception of time differently for each person and also occurred at different rates within the minds of the victims themselves. So for many trapped under the moon's effect, entire years or decades had already passed, while outside the protective cocoon, in the harsh reality of the world ravaged by the Juubi's roots, the jutsu lasted only a few hours.

It may not seem like much, or mean much, to those who managed to escape the hypnotic glow of the red moon, and therefore did not experience the phenomenal experience that genjutsu provided. But to those captured by the cocoons… those meager hours meant a lot. A lifetime of good accomplishments. Interrupted.

Unexpectedly. Interrupted.

It was a mental confusion. A dissociation. Then reality set in, and the shock came: 

the happy life of before was not real. 

Then came the anguish: their happiness had been stolen! It was replaced by the harsh, relentless reality.

Then came the anguish, the rage, and the anger: How dare these monsters do this to us?! How dare they toy with us like this?!?!?

Then after the collective epiphany came Chaos.

[...]

The shinobi alliance – or what was left of it – stood firm and proud – or pretended to be – as they stared intently at the celestial beings before them.

The celestial beings themselves had to intervene in their chaotic mortal war. The psychotic perpetrators strangely resembled the beautiful celestial creatures before them – Obito still shimmered in the air. An uncomfortable unease that countless ninjas tried not to think about, but it was difficult to control the what-ifs. It was difficult to control the fear of the unknown. Of the supernatural becoming real. But the hardest part was accepting that they, ninjas who once considered themselves the strongest, most skilled, and cunning chakra users of their generations – capable of subduing tailed beasts – were now nothing compared to the existence of proven superior species like alien moon gods, the legendary ten-tailed chakra beast, and the freak Uchiha, proven descendants of demigods.

Yes. The world would never be the same after the Fourth War.  And that was just the beginning. The tip of the iceberg.

[...]

"What do you mean you're going to take them away?!? These criminals should be tried before an international public tribunal for their crimes here on Earth! They're not going anywhere!" — The Raikage slammed his fist on the table, cracking the poor piece of wood. He was so, so pissed. Who the hell do these aliens think they are? To come here and give orders? Fuck them! Ay, the IV, won't let these psychopathic Uchihas escape without feeling their wrath. It's their fault Killer B died after extracting his Tailed Beast. Fuck anything. Ay wants to crush them.

There's a huge hubbub inside the makeshift tent, hastily assembled to serve as the new headquarters for the Allied Shinobi leaders.  Inside are the Kages, vice-Kages on standby, generals, samurai, commanders, hastily chosen and appointed secretariats, ninjas patrolling and securing the place — these are likely unmasked ANBU, from all five villages, doing their usual work.

But the Yondaime Raikage's position is absolute and indisputable. He is still the supreme leader of the shinobi alliance. His final word is the final decision. They will not hand over the terrorists to the aliens. Gods descending from the heavens don't matter to him. Ay is decided. He will gather all existing political entities from the four corners of the earth if necessary, but he will not let the Ōtsutsuki take the terrorists away.

The only place those damned people are going is to a public gallows! Or to the guillotine! Or to a hot fire, since they are crazy, pyromaniac Uchihas.

"It's decided. Give us custody of these terrorists and we will deal with them properly."

“I disagree,” Toneri said.

Ay became irritated and pointed a finger. "Then go back home and be unhappy there, because I don't care!"

"RAIKAGE-SAMA!" someone shouted, horrified, from somewhere.

But Ay ignored him and remained impatient and irritated with that man. "This isn't your planet! You don't make the rules here. You have no authority! Respect us or leave now!" he roared angrily.

Prince Toneri, unfazed and not the least bit offended, was even a little amused by this human's outburst, so he told them: "But your terrorists aren't human anymore, are they? You can't handle them. You couldn't handle them before. You won't handle them now."

…. (Silence falls in the tent)

Damn it. The prince was right.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the ruined battlefield, medical tents were being set up, and countless ninjas sought treatment.

The tent teemed with human warmth, unstable chakra, and subdued murmurs. It was crowded. Cramped. And for Sasuke Uchiha, this was hell.

Sitting on the farthest stretcher, his left arm, just the stump, wrapped in bandages up to the shoulder with ointments, he watched silently. Vigilant. Naruto and Sakura were there – he could bear their presence, but bearing wasn't the same as wanting it. Sakura had insisted on treating his arm personally. Naruto, as always, couldn't bear not to be present. And to remain silent for five minutes.

Sasuke hated being there. Feeling the other people's eyes on him. The whispers. He was no longer the "dark savior." He was an uncomfortable, broken survivor. And yet, an Uchiha. The war might be over, but the weight of the name still lingered in the tent.

It was then that the canvas entrance exploded inward, as if chaos had grown legs and decided to appear. Unexpectedly. Explosively.

"SASUKEEEE – where are you?!?!" – Karin's shrill voice rang throughout the tent.

It was Suigetsu who entered first, with all the subtlety of a stone thrown through glass.

"Who was the bastard who woke me right in the middle of the dream where I was ruling an aquatic empire with my trident fit for a god?!" – he shouted, throwing his arms in the air. 

"Man, there was even a golden statue shaped like me in the middle of the plaza!"

Orochimaru, appearing right behind like an elegant shadow, added without even raising his voice:

"Indeed... the timing of the interruption was unpleasantly inopportune.”

Silence. All the patients, nurses, and even Naruto turned to stare at the emerging group: a dark scientist, an aquatic lunatic, and, right after, Karin, her hair disheveled, her pajamas torn – and her eyes fixed on Sasuke.

She saw him. Hurt. Missing an arm.

And the world stopped for two seconds.

"Sasuke!" – she gasped, and in a second she was beside him, kneeling, hands on his knee, as if his touch were the only real foundation she had.

Sasuke didn't stop her.

He didn't even try. He was too tired to stop Karin from being Karin.

How troublesome. He can't get rid of her; after all, he was the one who chose her to be on his team.

He was the one who built this team. He could try to deny any and all ties that bound him, but not these. Never these. Because he was the one who built this team. His fault. For choosing these people.

Karin lightly touched his bandage. Her fingers trembled.

"Are you... okay? You... you lost your arm..."

"I know," – he replied dryly, but without pushing her away.

She smiled with that tired mockery of someone who's survived too much.

"You've always had a tendency toward self-destruction, but this time you were bold, huh?"

Suigetsu snorted loudly.

"You know, Sasuke, she was DREAMING about you, by the way. During Tsukuyomi. I heard her say "Sasukeee~" so loudly several times. It was horrible." – Suigetsu scoffed.

Karin, flushed and irritated, didn't even hesitate. She turned theatrically, hands on her hips:

"Of course I was! We got married in my dream. It was beautiful. You weren't there because you didn't exist, and Sasuke was the most beautiful bride of all!" — she said with stars in her eyes.

Sasuke arched a questioning eyebrow at this absurdity. "--- I was the bride...?"

Karin blinked, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Of course! Did you ever think you'd be the husband in this relationship???"

A pause. Sasuke looked at her with an expression... quite emotional. It was resignation. Then, a grunt of surrender, almost a silent laugh, escaped his throat like a breath of air:

"Not with you being so bossy."

The medical tent froze. Literally. Sakura dropped a vial of something. Naruto's eyes widened as if Sasuke had grown two heads.

Sasuke.  Uchiha Sasuke. Prince of ice, cold and distant… Playing.

With Karin.

And apparently enjoying it?

Karin, also incredulous, stared at him for a second. The world was still spinning outside, but inside her, a part of her quieted.

Then she said, in a shy tone she rarely displayed:

"I knew that sooner or later you would give in… to my charms," she added bravely.

He looked at her. Long. Steady. Without looking away or blinking. As if he wanted to say something, but didn't know what exactly.

But that was okay. He didn't need to say anything. His chakra revealed enough – a confused flame, tinged with a hint of humor, warm… open, receptive… toward her. For the first time.

With a dose of courage, she took his hand.

The one she had left.

And squeezed.

A gesture. Just one. But it said everything. 

Suigetsu sighed theatrically.

"Yuck. When you two decide to kiss, let me know so I can dig a hole and disappear. This is already too sentimental for my taste. Ugh. Juugō! Let's find something to eat, I'm starving."

Orochimaru, from the corner, with a half-smile on his pale lips, commented:

"Ah, young love. How fascinating."

Naruto, still in shock, muttered:

"He made a joke... he... smiled? Did I really see that? Sakura... did I see?"

Sakura didn't answer. She just looked away from the scene. It was just too much to keep watching them.

— 

Hours later

Naruto was still turning that Team Taka joke over in his head. That small, tiny snort of resigned amusement Sasuke had let out. That joke - joke – he'd made with that red-haired girl…

Something he'd never done with Team 7. Their team.

At first, Naruto found it funny and amusing. Surprising, even, to see Sasuke-teme make jokes. But now that things had calmed down... he reflected on it. And made comparisons. Naruto knew he shouldn't, but it was inevitable. The little he'd seen of them – of Team Taka – was enough for him to realize how different they were: different individuals, different personalities. But they unexpectedly got along. With a surprising ease that Team 7 didn't have – and Naruto wondered why.

 … What they have that we don’t.

He can't find an answer. Not a satisfactory one.

When Sakura arrives and settles down beside him, inside their tent – Team 7's, which currently doesn't have Sasuke, Sai, Yamato, or Kakashi – he asks her, "Have you ever seen him making jokes before?"

Sakura sighed beside him. "Maybe. But it was usually at your expense. He was criticizing you. And you hated it."

"Yes, but…" — Naruto sighed — "If I, or you, admitted to dreaming about him being the bride, do you think he'd joke back with us?"

Sakura lets the silence stretch between them as she finally gives her honest answer. "Probably not," she says sadly.

Neither of them says anything else about it. Both are caught up in their thoughts of what-ifs.