Work Text:
Chapter 1:
Mach is sitting at her desk, playing Project Sekai. Just as she finished frame-clearing The Disappearance of Hatsune Miku, the Regretavator chimed, indicating a lobby entering in the next few seconds. Placing her tablet down, and stretching, she gets ready to engage with the group of Robloxians who have entered her Office. She makes idle chatter with those who stand in front of her desk, watching a few others rest in the Fountain of Oceanis absentmindedly. All par for the course, although one of the strangely dressed citizens keeps calling her “Mommy.” Mach doesn’t understand this, but frankly she doesn’t really want to know. As she’s tuning this out, a noise catches her attention. Leaning over to the side of her desk, a flicker of anger sparks as she sees a group tormenting Pilby, her coworker and one of her closest friends. Snowballs, tomatoes, and the spray bottle are being used to torment the overstimulated forever-caterpillar. “D’oh, now I’m sopping… :0('' Mach's eyes narrow, debating if she should intervene. But, before she can act, they walk, or rather run out of the elevator on their own accord. This, in contrast to everything else,is very unusual. They typically don't dismount the elevator on this floor…
“Pilby?” Mach asks, head turning to follow the caterpillar who is sprinting into the back room and wiping tears from their face. As the door slams behind them, the Robloxians seem confused. This wasn’t how it normally went, and the group was starting to pick up on it. With tense shoulders, she overheard the Robloxians start to talk amongst themselves. “Is this a new update?” One whispered to another, and soon similar sentiments filled the room in hushed voices. At second glance, there were other NPC’s in the elevator, specifically Split, Reddy, and Bive, who appeared just as confused. “The CLOWNS, their secret hideout has been discovered!!” Bive yells in shock, seeming to believe she has solved one of her mysteries. “Gzzzrt, negative. The caterpillars pathing, is, incorrect.” Reddy tilts its head, uncomfortable with this shift in routine. Split, who is currently brushing flower petals out of her hair, appears to be the most visibly concerned. “Pilby??” The Fruit-Taur peers out of the elevator, brows furrowed, looking concerned. “Is something “bugging” you?“ While she tries to make a pun, and some of the Robloxians laugh, it’s clear that something isn’t right.
Slowly, the passengers of the elevators turned to Mach, awaiting an explanation. The deity ran the incinerator, and had done many strange things. Surely this was some kind of show, or performance. But…for once, this wasn’t a show. Sure, there were times where Pilby would occasionally be on the elevator during OFFICE OF, and she knew that sometimes passengers were capable of being quite rude. But, she had never seen them barrage the caterpillar like that, and she certainly hadn’t seen them full on sprint off the elevator like that. If Mach was honest, she didn’t even know that an NPC could choose when to dismount if their floor wasn’t assigned.
Uncomfortable with the attention, and frankly still upset at how certain members of this lobby had treated the clown, she snapped her fingers, teleporting everyone back inside the elevator. The Robloxians chatted amongst themselves, sharing photos they took of the incident, some complaining about how they got teleported right as they attempted to buy an item. Meanwhile, the NPCs seemed to be more panicked, being aware that something was out of the ordinary in a way the regular people were not. “Top-hat?! What is happening in this ESTABLISHMENT?!” Bive was holding onto Split’s hand, whose eyes were wide in confusion. “Wait! They aren’t on the elevator!!!” Reddy opened their jaws and made an inquisitive sound, observing the panic of the two women in front of them. “Mach, what’s going on? Where is Pilby?!” The woman’s voice grew more concerned, altering the other passengers. Mach looked away as the doors closed, doing her best to ignore the growing concern and questions as the door closed and took them to the next floor. She was technically able to teleport everyone, including Pilby. In most situations, she made sure every NPC and passenger ended up in the elevator. Unless, of course, they had attempted to steal her precious Banhammer, in which case they were promptly sent to the lobby after being killed for the consequences of their actions. That always gave her something to laugh about after the day’s shift was over. But…she didn’t feel comfortable forcing the caterpillar on the elevator. Something was wrong.
Unfortunately, she still had to call her employers, discussing inter-dimensional matters over the telephone. Once the Office was quiet, and the phone had finally stopped ringing, Mach stood up from her desk, pocketing her tablet and swinging her hammer over her shoulder on instinct. She approaches the backstage door, and her hand hovers on the doorknob as she listens for Pilby, expecting to hear them sobbing as they often would when faced with a rough day on the elevator. She wasn’t good at comfort. She’d never been, even before…Shaking her head, Mach tried her best to fight the grief of losing her entire family, the rage of being cybernetically enhanced, and the other painful, complicated emotions trying to rise back up, and pushing them down.“ Not now Carolina…” She mutters to herself, free hand shaking.
But she’s snapped back to reality when she hears Pilby coughing violently on the other side of the door. A spike of panic sets in, and she forcefully opens the door. They yelp in surprise, and seem to sob harder at the intrusion. “Y-you scared me! :,,0(“ They say, hiccuping and trying to calm their breath to no avail. Sighing, Mach places her Banhammer by the doorway, knowing it intimidates Pilby. Unfortunately, scaring them happens more often than she means to, due to her towering height and…what had the passengers called it? Resting bitch face?? Effectively kicking the door down likely didn’t help either. “Oh.” She says, her monotone voice not expressing the emotions she’s feeling inside.
Mach crouches next to the couch Pilby is sitting on, the caterpillar sopping wet, melted snow dripping on the ground and tomato pulp staining their hood and smeared across their face from their attempts to wipe their tears away. She stares at Pilby, trying to read their expression. “Y-y-you hate me, don’t you?!” The caterpillar buries their face in their hands, turning away. The deity blinks, confused. “No.” She replies, voice cold but also with the slight inflection of a question. Pilby raised their face slightly, breath still hitching. “Then, why are you angry… ):0(“ Mach blinks, trying to figure out what gave them that impression. “I’m not.” She sat crossed legged on the ground, her 6’ 10 frame now slightly below eye level with them, the caterpillar's 5’ 6” frame being significantly shorter than hers. Tilting her head, and tone stoic, she looks into the caterpillars teary eyes.
Her coworker seems to ease up, though only a bit. “W-well, I ran off the elevator when it wasn’t my floor. And I confused the crowd, so I t-thought y-you’d get upset.” Pilby winced, looking away and adjusting their bow tie. “Oh golly Split is gonna be worried about me :0(“. They try to stand up, but their legs are still wobbly from the anxiety attack they went though. Mach manages to catch the caterpillar before they collapse, placing them back on the couch. “Sit. You need water.” Pilby nods, and the deity swears their face is a little pinker than usual. Most likely a side effect of the intense distress they were in. Taking a mental note of that, Mach turns her back to them as she walks to the minifridge.
The back room of WHEEL OF had been empty for a long time, only being used as storage. But one day, Pilby had arrived and found themself trapped in a janitor's closet. Neither of them knew how the caterpillar had ended up there, but eventually they assimilated into the deity’s life, becoming a regular part of it. Mach had slowly brought in objects that brought the caterpillar joy and comfort. There’s a shelf full of coloring books, sheets of plain paper, crayons, markers, and various art supplies alike. A couch, a coffee table and a wall-hanging tv adorn the middle of the room. This is where Mach typically stays when she has a very, very rare moment of free time, hooking up rhythm games to the tv and sipping some lemonade as she absolutely decimates them. In the corner, there’s a pile of beanbags adorned with fluffy blankets and various soft plushies. This is where Pilby often hangs out, with them coloring as Mach plays her video games. The two don’t often have conversations at this time, but the deity finds herself remembering those moments often, which brings an uncommon warmth to her heart. Or, what’s left of it. The caterpillar also sleeps here, when they aren’t staying at Split’s house for the sleepovers the Fruittaur often holds. Mach never understood the idea of a sleep-over. Why would you want to engage and speak with others in the late hours of the night? Those were the hours she preferred to be alone.
As Mach opens the mini-fridge in the kitchenette area, getting out the pitcher of water, she finds herself slightly annoyed thinking of Split. The banana was making her friend upset, indirectly or not. She found herself feeling frustrated when the two hung out, though she had no clue why. She didn’t want to dwell on it right now, Pilby was her focus right now. Pouring a glass of water with the type of ice they like, she puts away the pitcher and walks the glass over. “Drink.” Her voice comes off more harsh than she intends it to, judging by the way her coworker winced as they took the glass. “Thank you...” The caterpillar slowly sipped the water, as their lower arms fidgeted and stimmed. Their voice was stuffy but slowly getting less shaky. “S-sorry for making you worry.” Mach nodded. “It’s fine.” She watches Pilby drink the water, reminding herself to look away every now and then as to not appear intimidating. Socializing was draining, so aside from her job, she tried to avoid it. But as much as she struggles at comforting Pilby, even after all this time, she does know that they enjoy talking and reflecting after an emotional episode.
Placing the glass on the coffee table, Pilby tries to stand up again. They are able to, but on instinct Mach tries to make them sit back down. “I’m good, I can walk now! >:0/” They seem to get tense at this. She backs up, in her concern forgetting that the caterpillar hated being babied or overprotected. “Ah.” She backed up, as the forever caterpillar stretched and walked over to their beanbag bed. Flopping down, they buried themself in blankets. “I…I don’t know if I can perform anymore today :0(“ They looked at the wall, avoiding the deity’s gaze. Mach furrows her brows. She isn’t upset that they need a break, far from it. But she is still curious about what caused the breakdown in the first place. “Understood.” Pausing, she parses her thoughts. Eventually, she breaks the silence. “What…what happened. In, the elevator?”
Pilby is silent for a while. But eventually, she hears them clear their throat. “W-well, they sprayed me and threw things at me. Like normal, but…” Though their head is turned away, their shaking hands are visible, all 4 of them. “I…I had someone throw petals at me. And I said, said how Mama used to give them to me…” Mach‘s usually somber expression betrays sadness. Pilby’s mom is trapped in another dimension, somewhere over the abyss, making it impossible for Mach to use her powers to reunite the two. Until that happens, the caterpillar is essentially separated from her, and they were very close with their mother. While she hasn’t told this to anyone, she can relate to that pain, that longing for a family member and those days you can’t get back. Having your sister and brother be murdered by your psychotic, horrible great-grandfather and finding their bodies will do that to you.
“Yes. I…know how much you miss her.” She tries to once again, push her memories aside to comfort her coworker. Pilby nods, holding onto their wrist to stop it from shaking. “Y-yeah. But…” Their voice shakes. “S-some of the Robloxians…they heard me say this and they…” Voice breaking, Mach can hear their composure slipping. “…They s-said I was a crybaby, a failure. But worst of all, they said that…Mama would be disappointed in me…. ):,0(“ The deity’s jaw drops, and she nearly sees red as she realizes how those in the elevator were tormenting her friend. “I’ll kill them.” Her voice was cold, dangerous, hand shaking and holding back the urge to beat the ever loving shit out of everyone who dared to say those horrible things to a grieving person. Pilby turned around, eyes widening. “No! No murder!!” Their 4 arms waved in panic, making it clear that was not the solution they were looking for. “T-they probably thought it was a funny joke. A-after all, no one else knows where I come from.” The caterpillar curls up. “They’re probably right, anyway…”
Mach’s voice rose in volume, more than she intended. “No!!” They looked up in alarm. “Huh?! ):0/“ The deity tries to steady her emotions, but is quickly finding that to be next to impossible in this moment. “You are NOT a failure, Pilby.” She approaches the caterpillar, looking down at them. Somehow, she can’t find the words to describe how she feels looking at them. “You…” Swallowing, and against her better judgement, she let herself be vulnerable, if only for a moment. “You are one of the strongest people I’ve seen.” The caterpillar’s face definitely goes red, but Mach cannot for the life of her understand why. Are they sick? Are they blushing? Why would they be blushing, at her??? At that idea, she felt her own face heat up. Goddamnit! She curses to herself. You can’t care, Carolina! Remember what happened last time…
As the screams of her siblings echoed in her head, she steeled her expression. “Everyone’s miserable in the elevator. You’re not afraid to be honest with your emotions. That’s not easy.” She states this matter-of-fact, as if this isn’t out of the ordinary for her to compliment people. There is a silence in the room, this one awkward and tense, unlike the comfortable, warm silence when the two are hanging out in the break room normally. Eventually, Mach feels too uncomfortable to just stand to stand there, especially with Pilby’s eyes boring into her, with an expression she can’t recognize. “Feel better.” She says, much too fast, grabbing her hammer and quickly exiting the break room, leaving her confused and emotional coworker alone.
Chapter 2:As the door closes behind Mach, Pilby sits in their bean bag pile, face flushed and almost the same color as the tomatoes being thrown at them earlier. “What was that?!” They exclaim, mostly to themself. Groaning, they bury their bright red face in their hands. Great, their coworker was somehow making it even harder to hide their crush on her. How was that even possible?! Sighing, they attempt to parse through the chaos of the day's events, and more importantly, not overthink what just happened in the break room. Today had already had a rough start, with a tangible nightmare of their Mama and their friend Sunday from back home in their original dimension falling into the abyss as Pilby called out to the two of them, powerless to stop it. They had been able to hear the voices so tangibly, it hurt to wake up and realize they weren’t there, even with the relief of their family and friends being safe.
Rolling on their back, Pilby stared at the ceiling, when they heard something buzz on the floor beside them. “Oh! The radio!!” The caterpillar blinked, realizing it must have fallen out of their pocket when they flopped down. Every resident, i.e NPC had one, courtesy of Mach after the MR incident a few months ago. Pilby shudders as they remember the feeling of being disintegrated, and was still eternally grateful the elevator's respawn feature worked for residents as well as Robloxians. However, the clown had inside knowledge due to their friendship with Mach, knowing that if the rock managed to escape into an area not within range of the elevator, all hell would break loose and actual carnage could occur. Sighing, Pilby noted the signal was coming from Split’s radio. Great, now they’d have to see their friend upset. Why couldn’t I have just grinned and powered through like Split always does?? Pressing the receive button, they winced as Bive’s loud voice came nearly screaming through the receiver. “CATERPILLAR, are you ALIVE??!!”
Groaning, the caterpillar fidgeted with the soft beanbag they were sitting on. To be honest, the detective scared them. She was always on edge, and the anxiety radiating off of her was palpable. While they understood being frightened, especially as recently, some of Bive’s theories had been proven right, her volume regulation issues were sometimes a lot to deal with. “D’oh, please don’t yell… :0(” They felt relief as they heard Split taking the radio back, reminding her friend, and as Pilby knew her crush, to regulate her volume. “Pilby!! Thank god you’re okay! What happened?!” Wow, she must have been really concerned if she hadn’t made a pun… “Golly, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you…” They felt themselves frown, and that guilt came back. Despite what Mach had said about taking space, Pilby still felt guilty about standing out and seeming weak. They were already babied and mocked by the residents enough, and this wasn’t going to help. “I just, I could handle the tomatos and the snowballs and even the water, but…you know how I miss my Mama :0(“. Their brows furrowed as they heard Bive in the background say “You are QUITE the Mama’s Bug”.
Surprisingly though, the smelly woman doesn’t mock them with this. “Split is that way with Nan, always worried sick about her.” The robotic voice of Reddy joins in. “Affirmative. Familial love detected.” The caterpillar chuckles as they hear their banana friend shush the woman and the robot. “Well…orange you glad I called?” Pilby felt better as now she was at least attempting puns. “For real, take care of yourself though. This group is honestly brutal. Bive’s nearly gotten a bath already from how much they’ve been spraying her!!” The two friends both laugh at that, and after a brief chat, with the caterpillar reassuring Split that they’ll be fine, they hang up the radio call. While they don’t feel as guilty anymore, it still feels like taking space for themselves was wrong. As much as Pilby knew they deserved to be treated with respect, as both Split, Poob and hell, even Mach on the earlier…occasion, constantly told them.
But it was difficult, especially when other NPCs were able to just shake it off and not get sensory overload. Speaking of Mach, their thoughts couldn’t help but drift back to her. Pilby admired everything about her; the way she was able to effortlessly set boundaries, the way she carried herself with confidence and awe-inspiring energy, the fact she was just so, so pretty and so, so cool. “D’oh, I’m such a mess >//O//<…” Once again, they were red in the face. “But in my defense, she doesn’t exactly compliment anyone else!! Can you really blame a bug?” Pilby mutters to themselves, trying to justify their feelings to their own brain. They stood up, body still drained from the panic attack, but less so due to the water they had drank. Getting another glass, they enter the bathroom on the other side of the break room to clean themselves up and attend to themselves.
Some time passes, and while the caterpillar is fighting to get the tomato stains out of their hood, Pilby smells something concerning. “Is something burning?!” Bursting out of the bathroom, they look around for signs of a fire. The smell seems to be coming from farther in the building, almost in the direction of the full kitchen and ‘bedroom’ area behind Mach’s office. Calling it a bedroom doesn’t do it justice though, as the one time Pilby had been in the room, it was filled with long, spindly wires and a coffin-like capsule in the center of it. They were told that “The Hibernation Machine” was the only way she could get rest, but it still terrified them. But they had bigger problems. Running towards the back room of THE OFFICE OF, they were surprised to see not a fire, but instead the tall women attempting to…bake something?
What exactly it was supposed to be wasn’t clear, as it was charred beyond recognition. “Pilby? What are you doing here?!” Mach seemed startled, which was odd, as not much truly scared her, as she hid the charred mass behind her back. The caterpillar felt silly for being so panicked, averting their gaze and adjusting their bow-tie. “Well, I thought there was a fire. I smelled burning…” They trailed off, hoping she could fill in the blanks. “Ah. No, there is no fire. You are safe.” She nods, turning her back to the caterpillar. “Okay…hey Mach?” The deity turns around partially, raising an eyebrow. “Hmm?” Pilby was still adjusting their bow tie, as it went askew with how fast they were running. “Well, I thought you, well, hated baking ):0/…” While Mach was quite skilled at cooking, having picked up multiple recipes from her excursions, baking’s use of specific techniques and precise timing and temperature usage often frustrated the woman. At least, that’s what Pilby had gathered from the few times Mach had attempted to follow a recipe. They watched as their coworkers' expressions became confused. “Well, not hate. But it is not my first choice, you are correct on that.” They paused, this response only exacerbating their own confusion. So she didn’t like to bake, they were correct on that. But…
“Then, what made you want to?” As they posed the question, they noticed a recipe on the table for …apple pie? “Wait, were you making a pie?” The for me remained unspoken, but it hung heavy in the air as an implication. As if things today couldn’t be a million times different already, they watched as an unmistaken blush made its way across Mach’s face. “Uh.” She stated, not finishing her sentence, clearly struggling for words. Once again, that awkward silence was there, except this time it was more palpable. “Well…I attempted.” She cleared her throat, lifting the dish, and when Pilby inspected closer they saw it contained a pie dish in the mass of charcoal. “I got impatient, so instead of 200° for 20 minutes, I set it to 2000° for one minute. But that seems to have been a mistake, as it is now quite inedible.” They snorted, much to their friends' dismay. “What? Is my failure …amusing to you?” As they continued to chuckle, Mach scoffed and tossed the failed concoction in the trash can, which was fortunately fireproof and protected from the still smoking mass. “Is it truly hilarious that I, Mach, am capable of overcooking a mortal dish?!” The caterpillar chuckles harder as they think of a comeback. “W-well you do overcook Robloxians in the incinerator for a living!! >:0)” The woman’s offended gasp makes it so, so worth it for the small risk Pilby might get hit with the Banhammer. Not that they truly believed she would ever use it on them.
Wiping their eyes as they got tears from laughing so hard, the clown shakes their head. “Okay okay, I’m sorry.” Mach scoffs, turning away. Pilby pouted, feeling guilty and concerned. “Aw, come on. :0( I was poking fun! Besides, you’re really good at cooking.” She turns back around, gaze softening,but she’s still silent and still frowning. It’s just, hehehe… :0).” A smile crosses Pilby’s face as they get lost in thought. “Sometimes I forget that even though you’re strong and powerful and pretty you can make mistakes too.” Mach just…looks at them. A tinge of nerves set in as the caterpillar felt her take them apart under her gaze. “Uh, d’oh, what I mean is, sometimes all the supernatural stuff with the elevator and my mom being in another dimension gets under my skin. And, I forget what it’s like to just live, I guess!” They feel their nerves increasing as she is still silent. Oh no, was their gut instinct about the hammer wrong? Pilby watches as their coworker turns nearly as red as the hammer, now legitimately concerned for her wellbeing. Is she about to explode at them?! Was poking fun at the pie too much?! “You…you think I’m…” Mach swallows, averting eye contact. “…Pretty?”
The caterpillar feels their stomach drop as they realize that they said that part out loud, and not just in their head. Oh god no, it was worse. So, so much worse than that. Pilby had basically just confessed, and entirely by accident!! If the silence from earlier was awkward, the tension in the room was far, far beyond that. It was equivalent to being stuck in gelatin, and not knowing if it tasted like delicious Jello or was acid-dissolving and would eat you alive. They start to panic as they realize they may have messed up the entire friendship, tears starting to rise again. “Nevermind!!” They promptly sprint out of the room and into the elevator, ignoring the way Mach calls after them. Pilby promptly slots a ticket in to go to Split’s floor, as there’s no way in HELL they are facing the deity before venting to their best friend and explaining literally everything. Once the doors close and it starts moving, they bury their head in their hands and just scream, for five straight minutes. Pilby picks up their radio, muttering profanity under their breath. They didn’t swear much but this was an exception. “Pilby, hi, are you feeling better?” The caterpillar hears Splits voice and just, straight up word vomits. “SPLIT I JUST TOLD MACH SHE'S PRETTY ON ACCIDENT AND I COULDN'T TELL IF SHE WANTED TO KILL ME OR KISS ME! HELP HELP HELP-“
In the midst of the clown’s rambling, they hear laughing on the other side that sounds like Poob, the confused clank of Reddy, and most audibly Split’s voice going “Huh?! Hold on, you have a crush on someone and never told me? Ooh~” Split’s voice is teasing, and from behind her they can hear Poob’s voice saying “omg!! they just told da whole elevator their true feelingz :D”. Reddy chimes in shortly after; “GZZRT. PDA is not allowed at Red Ball Diner.” Pilby groans, debating on going to Jeremy's floor and locking themselves in the cage. Anything to avoid the mess they’ve gotten themselves into. “Can one of you please, please kill me?” There is mostly a chorus of no’s, except for Bive who seems to consider it for a second before Split’s voice replies. “Okay, look. Come to my house and tell me everything, we wouldn’t want you getting ‘crushed’.” The raspy voice of the detective pipes up. “Whose getting crushed?? Where where where?!” The caterpillar rolls their eyes as the Fruittaur audibly reassures Bive over the radio, rubbing their temple in frustration. Well, the secrets out. They might as well go to her house, they certainly didn’t wanna be on the elevator alone with their thoughts after THAT. “D’oh, fine, just, don’t judge me!! :0(” Split claps her hands, audible through the radio. “Awesome!! I can’t wait for all the tea!” Pilby didn’t know why she’d be brewing tea, that didn’t make sense. But if it meant not confronting Mach right now, they’d take it at this point. As the elevator makes its way to Splitsville, they can’t help but wonder to themselves what the all-powerful, terrifying woman is doing.
Chapter 3:After what felt like an agonizing eternity, but what was realistically only around twenty seconds, Pilby arrived at the Splitsville floor. To their surprise, Poob had joined Split near the entrance to the classic Obby that their Fruittaur friend usually joined the elevator on. This time though, she waved her paw, and a ramp extended on the side. “Hi Pilby!! I’m ‘cheesed’ to see you could make it!” On cue, she pulled out a square of Cheese, tossing it to them. “D’oh, where did you even get that? :0(“ The party-loving noob blew their party horn in amusement at the exchange. “wat, dat was so random!! XD” The caterpillar, after making sure they didn’t drop the dairy into the water below the obby, noticed that the hairy detective was noticeably absent.
The four had been planning to go to Split’s house to discuss, well, frankly everything. But Bive wasn’t next to the two of them. “Huh, is Bive…not coming?” Split paused, looking a little guilty. “Ah, no. She’s uh, going to a different floor.” They raised an eyebrow as the two npcs averted their eyes, seeming to avoid their gaze. Pilby frowned, as something was off and they couldn’t tell what it was. “Why aren’t you guys looking at me? :0(“ The Fruittaur opened her mouth to answer, but Poob chimed in, interrupting. “we sent Bive to talk 2 Mach!!” Their voice sounded rushed, almost like a child admitting they’d done something wrong. Of course, the three of them were all adults, but the similarity was there.
Split’s guilty expression was quickly replaced with one of frustration. She face-palmed, or, would it be called face-pawed? Either way, she didn’t look too pleased. “Poob, you weren’t supposed to tell them that!!” The party horn sounds, followed by a sad expression on their face. “srry!! I didn't wanna lie…” Pilby felt their shoulders stiffen as a wave of panic hit them. “You did WHAT?! ):0(“ Oh no, this was going to make everything even more awkward between Mach and them! Despite knowing that Split, and by extension Poob probably had good intentions, they felt hurt. Not only had the two of them gone behind their back, they would’ve hidden it from them if not pressed. Feeling betrayed, they turned around to go back into the elevator. “Forget this, I’m leaving!” They exclaim, but are stopped by Poob grabbing their arm. “wait, where r u going?!” The caterpillar turns around, expression angry. “Home! >:0(“ They paused briefly, halfway in the elevator as they heard a voice call out to them.
“Pilby, wait!” She rushed over, but hesitated before speaking. “I…I’m sorry for not asking you. But, we were really worried about you earlier, and then when you mentioned you having…y’know on Mach, I got carried away. And…” She fell silent, looking at Poob. They spoke up, eyes full of concern as well. “we can call off Bive rn if u want ):/” They offer, voice reassuring but their expression betrays their guilt. Pilby sighed, rubbing their forearm. While they understood Split’s tendency to get excited and play matchmaker, this was too personal, and too recent. A boundary that they hadn’t realized was in place had been crossed. “Please, call Bive off. I didn’t…”
They sniffle, looking away. “This was supposed to be private, and now you’ve gotten a bunch of people involved, and you didn’t even tell me the truth… :,0(” Poob nods, and pulls up their radio, which is adorned with various stickers and has confetti stuck in the speakers. They step off of the ramp and walk next to the bleachers; which are empty as the Obby isn’t currently in use, and begin to speak into it. Split and Pilby watch in awkward silence. “Pilby-“ The caterpillar interrupted her, tone still cold and frustrated. “I know, you’re sorry!” As they looked at their reflection in the water, the insecurity and doubt that had plagued their mind for a long time slowly rose to the surface.
“I’m scared, okay? Today was so different, everything’s weird and everything is confusing. I’m just… it feels like I’ve ruined everything between me and Mach. And then, on top of that, it feels like this is all, just some joke to you!” The air is silent, and thick with tension. They knew Split sometimes had difficulty taking situations seriously. But this was important to them. “Having more people aware of the fact I screwed up, just makes it worse… :,0(” They can hear Split repressing a sob beside them, followed by more silence. “I…wasn’t entirely honest.” Pilby looked up in surprise as her voice, wavering and shaky, broke the quiet. “When you were riding to the floor…we got a call. From Mach.” They blinked, caught off guard. She continued to explain, slowly making eye contact. “I know, she never calls. We were shocked too!” She seemed to think about saying something else, but decided against it. “This really isn’t a time for puns, sorry. I didn't want to share what she said, but, let’s just say she’s worried. I swear, I wasn’t going to say anything to her, honest!”
The Fruittaur is crying now, tears running down her cheeks. “But, for her to reach out…I couldn’t just leave her! Pilby, when you ran off that elevator…I was angry at those players who were harassing you, sad that you didn’t say something, but worst of all…I was scared you wouldn’t come back! That…that somehow Mach would punish you for changing routine.” While they were still frustrated with their friend, they did feel bad. It wasn’t normal for NPC’s to depart the elevator, especially in the middle of the floor and even more so in floors they weren’t assigned to. Pilby couldn’t imagine how it felt to be in her position, watching a friend run away with no explanation. “I…I don’t know if I can just forgive you, just yet. I understand why you did it. I just wish you hadn’t lied to me, and joked about it.” Split nodded, a few tears falling down, hitting her square glasses. “Y-you’re right. I didn’t handle the situation well.” Pilby broke off pieces of the cheese, tossing them into the water as the starfruits, resembling the earthen creatures known as starfish, slowly swam over and devoured them. “That being said…” She turned to them, wiping her eyes and cleaning her glasses. “You’re still my friend, and I care about you. :,0)”
The caterpillar chuckles, catching the Fruittaur off guard. “Even with your giant, obvious crush on Bive. ;0)” Split’s cheeks turned pink, clearly not expecting to be called out. “Hey, lower your voice!!” She whispered, grinning sheepishly. They rolled their eyes, but they felt their hurt from earlier slowly alleviating. “Oh, so now that the shoes are on the other foot, you’re ‘peeling’ cranky? >:0)” She groans, placing her head in her hands. “You won’t get it…” The clown crossed their arms, all four of them. “Split, I radioed you screaming about how I wanted to kiss a certain someone. Trust me, I’ll get it. :0)” At Pilby’s words, she sighs. “You’re right, I’m being ‘shellfish’.” At those words, she taps on her banana peel, which some could argue resembled a snail shell. “I guess…I just feel like, what could Bive even like about me? Sure, I’m funny. But, is that enough? Plus, y’know, I’m not exactly the brightest, and …” Spilt looked down at her torso, which was on the heavier side in her species. The caterpillar shook their head vigorously. “Hey, none of that! You are hot as hell!! Platonically speaking! Also, you can actually tolerate her lack of hygiene.” She smiled at that, turning her radio, which is shaped like a banana, around in her hands. “Plus, at least you know she likes girls! I don’t even know if Mach likes anyone! Golly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s just been tolerating me… :0(“ Now it was Split’s turn to shake her head. “Are you ‘kitten’ me?! Besides DrRetro, I think you’re the only one who's been in her office. Also, don’t talk bad about yourself!”
Poob’s voice piped up from the bleachers, surprising the two as they glanced over. “ye! and if Mach doesn’t see how awesome u are, then she iz missing out!! :)” Seemingly done with their radio call, they slowly walked back towards the two. Pilby smiled, a rare sight on the gloomy caterpillar’s face. “D’oh, guys are too kind :0)” The noob then ran across the ramp, gleefully shouting “and Split, every1 already knows u wanna smooch Bive!!” The clown chuckled as the Fruittaur tossed multiple banana peels in the party noob’s direction. They avoided most of them, but slipped on the last one, falling into the water with a splash. “oof! :('' As Pilby helped them up, Split stuck her tongue out. “That’s what you get for eavesdropping! Don’t be a ‘party pooper’!” They adjusted their party hat as they made a smug face in return. “whatevr!! >:P But anyways uh, I told Bive she didn’t have 2 go. But…I heard Mach’s voice, so uh she might B there anyways…?” Both the caterpillar and the fruittaurs eyes widened, and Pilby felt that sense of anxiety return.
“Fiddlesticks, if Mach sees Npcs leaving the elevator she might get upset… :0('' They looked to the elevator, still nervous about going back. But as much as Bive and them haven’t been the closest in the past, they knew the deity could be absolutely terrifying from an outsider's perspective. They couldn’t just leave her there… Split nodded, handing a ticket to the caterpillar. She sighed, adjusting her orange turtleneck. “You should go check on them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy to see you, and I did wanna hang at my house!! But I’d feel just ‘rotten’ if Bivey got squished by that scary hammer before I finally told her…y’know.” Pilby took the ticket, but felt a frustrated expression cross their face. “Mach is more than her hammer, you know! And she doesn’t hit people with it! >:0(“ As they remembered what happened to players who attempted to mess with her, they paused.
“Well…okay she usually doesn't hit people with it!” Their friends weren’t convinced, judging by their expressions, so Pilby doubled down. “But that’s not the point! I’m serious, she has a sweet side, at least when you get to know her! She likes rhythm games, she’s an amazing cook, and she also really likes lemonade! :0) If I remember correctly her favorite flavor is raspberry lemonade-” They were cut off by Poob, who had been slowly smirking as they’ve been talking. “ooh u are down bad for her~ ;P” Pilby felt their cheeks turning red, and they promptly walked into the elevator. “You two should go back to your floors, right now!” Laughter could be heard behind them, as Split called out “This is my floor Pilby!!” She was right, and that made them feel even more of a fool. “W-whatever!! I’m off to save your girlfriend! >:0/” As the doors closed, Poob’s cackling could be heard alongside the Fruittaur, who was stuttering and tripping over her words. Soon, the elevator was silent. Pilby takes a minute or so to decompress, before inserting the ticket for Office Of into the slot. As the elevator started up, the caterpillar sat down and adjusted their bow-tie. Bive would be fine until they got there…probably.
Chapter 4/Final Chapter I wrote: (This one’s my favorite because Bive and Mach’s interactions are chaotic in the best way. Also Mach is somehow baking apple pie even though she burned the first one so just pretend she’s making a new one and it wasn’t a plot oversight)
*I’M NOT FINE!*
This thought ran through Bive’s head over and over as the elevator closed behind her, and she watched Mach’s eyebrows furrow as she stood up from the desk. She had been on the call with Poob, who had explained the situation and specifically briefed her to NOT mention the caterpillar's crush on the woman who was staring her down right now. Talk about a change of plans! Why had she agreed to do this again? Oh right, for Split. Curse that Fruittaur and her pretty face, now she was going to get squashed into a pancake!! “What are you doing here?” The deity’s voice was tense, guarded, her hand nearly on the Banhammer. Which was making the detective very nervous. As she stood up, the hairy woman backed up instinctively and hit the elevator doors. “GAH!!” Her panic only increased as she saw the tall woman sprinting towards her, and her hands went to her face in defense. “DON’T SQUISH ME!!” To her surprise, Mach actually stopped dead in her tracks a foot from her, though she was still holding the hammer. Her expression was one of confusion. “…Squish you?” Shoulders squaring, Bive tried to hide her fear, pointing at the red weapon. “YES! I’ve seen what you do to INTRUDERS!!” The two sat in silence for a minute, with the tophat-wearing woman scanning the detective with an intimidating scrutiny. “You don’t seem hurt, good.” Holding out her hand, two chairs seemed to materialize and scrape across the floor out of nowhere, once again startling the shorter woman. “WAGH!!” Tilting her head at the exclamation, Mach sat down and placed her hammer on the ground.
She then tapped the second chair, seemingly inviting Bive to sit down. The detective was suspicious, inspecting and tapping the furniture before eventually climbing onto it. Which was a struggle, as clearly these chairs were meant for people much taller than her.
Once she was seated, the deity began talking once again. “Now that we are comfortable, I shall repeat my question. Why are you in my Office and not on the Elevator?” The shorter woman chuckled nervously, realizing that she didn’t really have a clear answer. What *was* she doing…? Oh right, the call from earlier! “Well! Split received your call about the Bug, and she and Poob are meeting up with them.” At the mention of Pilby, Mach’s expression seemed to soften. “Ah, they’re safe. Wonderful.” But almost as quickly, her expression hardened again, becoming cold and stern. “But, that doesn’t explain why *you* are here.” Bive’s shoulders tensed, shifting the change in mood. “Ah, well…” She paused, trying to think of what to say now that the plan had changed. Eventually, she decided to go with her gut, the question that had popped in her head the moment the three of them had received the phone call. “Are you good?” This caught the deity off guard, judging by the flabbergasted look on her face. “…I don’t consider myself to be…bad, if that’s what you’re asking?” The detective shook her head vigorously, trying to correct this misunderstanding. “No no NO! Are you FEELING good? Well, healthy, up-to-speed as the clown would say?” The deity’s brows furrowed once again. “Why wouldn’t I be?” The suspicion in her tone was understandable, but it still set the shorter woman on edge. “Ah, I didn’t mean that you WEREN’T, ahaha, it’s just that me and the gang were a little…surprised that you called us!! Is all.” A few moments of silence passed, which felt like hours from the tension in the room. God, why did the detective agree to do this? She didn’t know this woman, she didn’t know how to talk to her, and she certainly didn’t know how to communicate efficiently!
“…Ah.” Mach looked guilty now, averting her powerful gaze to the floor as she seemed to be lost in thought. “I apologize for causing you three to worry. I assure you, I am fine. Today has just been...” Bive interrupted, words trying to burst out of her chest and getting the better of her. “CRAZY! The caterpillar ran away, which we didn’t even know was POSSIBLE, and then we didn't hear anything for HOURS, and then You called us and They called us and…!” Embarrassed, she placed a hand to her mouth to cut herself off. But interestingly, the deity doesn’t seem annoyed by this. Rather, she is listening quietly and attentively. “…Pilby called you?” Bive nods, not sure why that detail is the one Mach took interest in, but continues to talk. “Well, they called Split, but Party Noob and I were in the elevator at the same time. They’re meeting with the two of them right now, talking about…” Now the detective is the one who is interrupted by the deity. “About me, I presume…” The shorter woman raises an eyebrow, although it isn’t very visible considering she is made almost entirely out of hair. “Actually, yeah. So, not to be nosy, but what even happened?” She swung her legs idly in the air, legs not long enough to touch the floor. “The CLOWN was talking a million miles an hours, and I didn’t even know this was POSSIBLE but they were somehow MORE of an emotional Mess than usual!” Bive quickly took back her statement as Mach’s face darkened at her last few words. “GAH! Uh, I mean…they seemed very shaken up. And all of us, we were kinda confused?”
The deity places her head in her hands, groaning, surprising the detective who isn’t used to seeing such emotion from the stoic figure. After a few words were muttered that she couldn’t pick up on, the purple-claud woman began to talk again. “Let’s just say, I let some emotions get the better of me. And…as a result, I believe I made them uncomfortable.” Lifting her head, the troubled expression became serious. “I trust you know this information is confidential?” Bive nods, knowing there’s no way she would attempt to mess with Mach anyways, much less in a moment like this. “…Good. In that case…” Adjusting her tophat, and averting her eyes, it seemed she was working up the courage to ask something. “Forgive me for asking but…did they seem…angry at me?” The detective shook her head, noting how she seemed to relax as she did so. “Nope! But, Split totally is!” Mach’s red eyes widened, tilting her head in interest. “Split…Fascinating.” While it bothered Bive that the deity didn’t seem to care that she had upset someone so near and dear to her heart, she tried to stay calm. “Well, it isn’t that surprising. Considering her…best friend runs out of the elevator, disappears, and we hear absolutely no word or explanation. I’d say it’s pretty REASONABLE to be upset!”
Despite her best efforts, the detective’s own annoyance bleeds through in her tone, which the deity seems to register. Pausing to take a breath, Bive attempts to calm down. “Sorry. It’s just-“ Her hands start moving as she gets more and more passionate in her explanation. “When the elevator was closing on us, Split was CRYING! She’s so happy, and so optimistic and takes everything with a silver lining, and she was in TEARS! I haven’t seen her that upset in a long, LONG time! And-“ Her voice slowly lowered as she realized she was yelling. “I…I guess I’m mad. For Split.” Mach let her finish, but afterwards started talking with surprisingly speed. “Is that because you’re friends?” Out of all the things Bive expected to hear from the woman, that was one of the last. “UH-“ Pausing and pursing her lips, pulling at her sleeves, she struggles to figure out if she should reveal her true feelings for the Fruittaur to this terrifying woman in front of her. Scanning the area for any cameras or drones, she took a deep breath. “This is confidential, so DON’T SHARE IT! But-…” Taking another deep, shaky breath, Bive decides to take the risk. “It's actually because I have a crush on her!” The deity registers this, thinking for a few minutes. The silence gets to the detective, who speaks up hastily. “What, you got a problem with that?!” Shaking her head, Mach still seems to be formulating a sentence in her head. “…How can you tell…when you have a ‘crush?’ Or more specifically, what sets this ‘crush’ apart from friendship?”
Every time Bive thinks she knows what the deity is going to say, she is somehow WRONG! But considering the other woman has a powerful weapon and she doesn’t, it’s most likely within her interest to give the taller woman an answer of some kind. “BEFORE I answer, keep in MIND I don’t…have. Many friends.” Fidgeting with her claws, the detective tries to answer to the best of her ability. “But…f-from what I’ve researched… crushes are on your mind more often than friends. You want to spend one-on-one time together, talk to them, do things with them. And…” Nervously chuckling, Bive remembers what got her into this situation in the first place. “Sometimes, you do things that you would normally NEVER do for them. N-no offense!” Mach goes silent, eyes widening. “So…trying to bake a…crush’s comfort food to cheer them up after a bad day. Despite the fact that you hate baking…that would…qualify?” The detective narrows her eyes in confusion. “Well, that’s a very hyper-specific answer. But…I guess? Unless you bake all of your friends their favorite foods all the time.”
Somehow, the taller woman’s eyes go even wider, and now it appears that she’s…blushing…? What is going ON?! This situation is so WEIRD, it’s confusing Bive. But as she looks around, she suddenly picks up on something she hadn’t before due to nerves. “Wait…why does it smell like BURNING?!” Suddenly, Mach stands up and runs to the kitchen, spewing a variety of colorful curses. Baffled, Bive follows her. But when she got there, the burning smell was even more prominent. “What IS THAT!?” As the detective is coughing, she watches the deity take out a pie of some sort, though the edges of the pie crust are the same color as charcoal. Mach sighs, placing the dish on the stove and placing her head in her hands. “…Apple pie.” Bive blinks, suddenly realizing the truth she has somehow been BLIND TO all along. “You have a crush on PEST!” The deity looks up from her hands, expressing a mix of confusion and disgust. “What?! No. How did you come to that conclusion?” The detective furrows her brows, trying to figure out what’s going on. “Apple pie is his favorite.” Her expression is understanding. “Oh, I see the problem. I wasn’t aware of that. When I was making this I was more focused on… the filling of the pie.” Bive tilts her head, even more baffled. “The filling? Like…the apple part?” Suddenly, the correct conclusion dawns on her as the pieces put themselves together. “APPLES, apples are the Clown’s FAVORITE fruit!” As if on cue, the elevator chimes, signaling someone is back. “D’oh, Bive….? Mach…? Are you there? :0(“ The detective’s jaw drops at the timing, and Mach stands up in a hurry, pointing at the door with her hammer. “Not. A. WORD.” She’s whispering, but her eyes are glowing, which is enough of a signal to the detective to know to get out of the floor as soon as possible. Running out of the kitchen, and past the caterpillar who calls out her name in confusion, Bive hits the elevator button as fast as she can. “Bive? What’s going on?! :0(“
The detective straight up yells “GO TALK TO MACH, RIGHT NOW!!” The doors close and the elevator begins to move. Once Bive is sure she’s far away from Office Of, the detective bursts out laughing at the whole interaction. So the two liked each other, but they were too nervous to realize it!! This was so funny to Bive, what were the chances?! Radioing Poob, the detective gets ready to update them on everything that went down. “hello? :)” Their voice is audible through the radio, and in the excitement Bive forgets to keep Mach’s crush secret. “PartyNoob, you won’t BELIEVE THIS!! The two have MUTUAL FEELINGS!” Just as she expected, they squeal in excitement on the other end. “no way!! dats so exciting!! :)” Chuckling, she continues talking. “They don’t even realize it, how SILLY! It’s so obvious and yet they DON’T SEE IT! I mean, how haven’t they NOTICED?!” To her surprise, Poob is laughing on the other end. “where have I heard dat before, hmm?” Bive shook her head, despite them not being able to see it. “No, this is NEW Partynoob. Plus, this means Split’s crush on Pilby isn’t requited!!” She whispered this last part. “That means, I might have a chance in the future!!” A sigh, and a party horn can be heard on the other side of the radio. “bive, you are so smart and yet so, so dumb.” Angry, her eyes narrow. “WHAT?! How DARE you, I am VERY Intelligent!!!” Poob sighs once again. “if u say so. anywayz, this callz for a party!! take the cardboard house path to the subway and come to my house :)” The detective grinned. “I will SO be there.” Turning off the radio, she still chuckled to herself about the situation at hand.
She did still feel bad that Pilby didn’t like Split that way back, even if her own crush on the Fruittaur made her happy about this news. She had thought her crush did a good job hiding her disappointment when the clown had announced their crush on Mach to the whole elevator, but Bive made a mental note to make sure she was feeling okay later. Unrequited love hurt like hell, she knew that first hand. She was surprised the clown hadn’t noticed Split’s crush on them the way she had. They were so oblivious! “Heh, imagine having someone like you and not realizing it.” With the confidence that could never be her, the detective watched the floors go by, excited for the party.
(And that’s all I ever wrote! If you got this far, thank you and uh, sorry there isn’t any more. If for some reason, anyone wants to write more feel free to and like mention this work somehow. This is a big if though, not pressure. It’s a very scuffed story since I wasn’t as good at writing a year ago. Anyways Regretavator good game, go play it. Bye!)