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“What the hell are we gonna do about this?” Clint demands.
“Well, we now have 5 mini team members… so we have to take care of them.” Natasha says with a face of concern
“Yeah, thanks Thor.” Clint says with a glare
“I apologize.” Thor says looking down
“So let me get this straight.” Fury asks walking in with Phil looking at Clint, Thor, Natasha and Bruce. “You have a 10 year old Steve, a 10 year old Sam, an 8 year old Rhodes, a 5 year old Loki, and a 5 year old Tony.”
“As best we can tell, yes.” Clint says cautiously. Fury rubs his face “I mean there are 6 of us and 5 of them. How hard can it be?” Clint asks with a shrug
“STEVE!” Clint shouts running over. “No more cookies!” and grabs the 7th cookie out of Steve’s hand “I said one!”
“I wanted more than one.” Steve says huffing
“Where did you even get them?” Clint asks annoyed
“Loki.” Steve says smiling. “He keeps making them appear so I have to eat them.” Clint looks over and sees Loki making different types of cookies and offering them to everyone.
“No more cookies Steve.” Clint walks away “Loki, stop making cookies.”
“Stop bein ‘woud.” Loki demands. Looking at the scared boy in the corner.
“Just stop okay.” Clint says watching Sam who is now trying to keep Rhodey and Steve from fighting.
“Tasha! Where the hell did you go?”
“I’m coming!”
“Sam, I appreciate you trying to help, but let me take care of it.” Clint says looking at the two boys who are trying to get to each other.
“What happened?” Clint asks holding the two apart.
“He’s being mean!” Rhodey shouts
“Okay, both of you stop it now.” Clint says with a stern look. “Where the hell did Phil go.” Clint groans “Phil!”
“I’m coming too!”
“Where did you all go?” Clint demands looking at the mess in front of him.
“To take a breather.” Phil admits
“There is no ‘breather’ in child care! Now get to it!” He looks around “Nick!” He shouts.
“In here.” Nick comes out with a bottle of water and painkillers “I don’t do children.”
“Well start now. We need all hands on deck.”
“N’tatha.” Loki says pulling on her hand
“Yeah, Loki?”
“Will you and Bruth pway a game with me?”
“Not right now, kiddo.” Natasha says patting his head “Later though okay?” Loki pouts
“Okay.” Loki says defeated and walks off to Tony.
“Tony are you okay?” Loki says sitting next to him. Tony is curled in on himself trying not cry
“’m fine.” Tony squeaks out
“You don’t wook it.” Loki comments
“”m fine.” Tony says more firm
“Should I get tatha and bruth? They can make you happy.”
“No. Don’t.” Tony says with a wobbly voice “I’m strong. I don’t need anyone’s help.”
“Tony.” Loki says looking at him. “Want a cookie?” Loki offers making one appear. Tony just looks down
“Steve. Stop it.” Clint shouts at the little boy.
“No! Not until I get more cookies!” Steve stomps
“There are no more cookies.” Clint says angrily
“Have Loki make them.” Steve demands
“Great, hangry child Steve. Why is he this difficult?” He turns to Natasha “He should be the easy one! Rhodey!” Clint shouts running over “Tash, watch him.” Clint walks over to Rhodey “What’s wrong?”
“Make him shut up about Falcons.” Rhodey says glaring at Sam who is pouting.
“I was just telling him they’re cool.” Sam says softly
“Hawks are better.” Clint points out
“No Clint. Hawks are stupid. Have you ever seen a falcon?”
“Sam, Hawks are so much cooler. How do you not know this?” Sam grumbles
“Hawks are lame.”
“Clint, stop arguing!” He hears Nat shout
“Right.” Clint shake his head
“Tatha, Bruth.” Loki pulls their shirts “Play wit me.”
“We’re kinda busy, sweetie.” Loki’s bottom lip starts to wobble as tears form in his eyes and Bruce looks down
“We’ll play with you. Okay?” Bruce says bumping Nat. Loki perks up
“Yay!” Loki cheers tears instantly gone and Nat and Bruce share a look.
“Hey Sam?” Phil asks sitting down next to him.
“Yeah, Phil?” Sam asks
“Want to play a game?”
“Depends. What kind of game?”
“What do you want to play?” Phil asks
“I want to play… go fish!”
“Okay, let’s go find some cards.”
“Thor.” Clint pulls him aside. “I need you to go find a way to reverse this. We can probably handle it here, but we need them as adults again. I don’t care how you do it. Sleep with her for all I care, just changed them back!”
“I am on it.” Thor leaves just as a sudden high pitched scream and all the adults (minus Thor) get up and run to the source.
“What happened?” Clint asks seeing Steve on the floor on tears.
“Rhodey punched me!” Steve says with tears streaming down his face.
“Rhodey is that true?” Clint asks kneeling down
“He punched Tony first!” Rhodey defends.
“Where is Tony?” Bruce asks seeing everyone else around but Tony. Clint nods to Bruce and Natasha to go find them.
“Why did you punch Tony, Steve?”
“Because he wouldn’t stop crying!” Steve shouts crossing his arms “it was getting annoying.”
“Steve, Rhodey. We don’t hit people. Violence is wrong.”
“But I told you he was being mean and you didn’t do anything! I had to protect him. You guys won’t.”
“Do you know why Tony was crying?” Clint asks gently. They 2 children shake their heads.
“Where the hell did they go?” Clint asks himself “And where’s nick? Okay, you two. Stop fighting. I have an idea.”
“Nick?” Natasha asks looking at the man crouched behind the couch “What are you doing?”
“Taking care of the kid who needs it most.” Nick says in a calm voice “Stop shouting.” Clint bends over and sees Tony silently crying
“Tony, why are you crying?” Bruce asks softly
“’m not.” Tony says wobbly. “I’m not crying.”
“It’s okay to cry.” Natasha says softly
“Stark men don’t cry.” Tony says firmly “I’m not crying.”
“Okay.” Bruce says “So why are you hiding then?” Tony doesn’t answer
“Steve punched him. And we’re scaring him.” Nick says softly
“What? how?” Bruce asks looking at the boy.
“We’re loud.” Nick says “I guess adult tony hasn’t told you, huh?”
“Told us what? And whatever it is how do you know?”
“Doesn’t need to be discussed now. Go make them be quiet.”
Bruce and Natasha give a last look to the boy but nod
“Hey Tony. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I don’t need help.” Tony says crossing his arms “And I’m not scared.” Nick shakes his head knowing he’s very scared. “I wanna be weft awone.” Tony says curling in on himself
“I don’t think-“ Nick starts but Tony cuts him off.
“Just weave me awone. I can take care of myself.”
“Tony,”
“You asked me what you can do to help.” Tony says looking down “That’s it. Weave.”
“10 minutes. Then I’m coming to check on you.” Fury says standing up
“Thank you Uncle Nicky.” Tony mumbles
“Never thought I’d hear that again.” Nick whispers with a small smile “You’re welcome, Tones.”
As soon as Nick is gone Tony climbs out from behind the couch to find a new hiding space.
“Tony.” JARVIS says “If you could like to follow the lights I would gladly take you to more quiet location.”
“Where are you?” Tony demands
“I’m everywhere. I’ll explain one the way.” The light in the living room flicker and then the next one and Tony follows to under the kitchen sink.
“Hello, Tony.” The voice says once he’s settled in.
“How come you’re under a sink?” Tony asks confused
“My creator… is a little extraordinary.” JARVIS says “I will be glad to help you with anything I can.”
“I want Jarvis.”
“I know, but until that can happen, I will gladly assist you as best as I can.”
“Okay, so we’re going to make a blanket fort!” Clint shouts and they remaining 4 children cheer
“Actually we’re going to watch a movie.” Natasha says walking
“Tony’s scared because it’s really loud.” Bruce whispers to Clint who gives him a nod
“You heard the scary lady. Movie it is.” Clint says more quiet.
“No!” Steve shouts and stomps “Blanket fort!”
“Yeah!” Rhodey says “I know how to make them the best!”
“Nuh uh!” Steve protests.
“Yeah huh!”
“Why are you two always fighting?” Clint throws back his head and takes a deep breath. “Okay I’ll tell you what, we can make a blanket fort, but I have two conditions.” They nod “One is that there is absolutely no fighting. One fight, and we take it down.” They nod again “Two, we have to be quiet. Like really quiet. Inside voice only.”
“Okay.” Sam whispers “I hate fighting anyway.”
“Is it because of Tony?” Loki asks looking up “He doesn’t wike the woud.”
“Yeah, it is. And when someone is scared we should help him feel less scared right?”
“We shouldn’t coddle them.” Steve says “They should be brave.”
“He’s 5, Steve. He’s allowed to be scared.”
“I wasn’t scared at 5!” Steve says loudly
“What did I say?” Clint says warningly
“Inside voice.” Steve whispers
“Good. Now let’s go get some chairs and blankets.”
“Tony?” Fury asks rounding the couch 10 minutes later like he promised. He looks and sees no one there. “Crap.” Nick groans “Okay, JARVIS where did Tony go?”
“He is in the safest position at this time.” JARVIS informs
“Yeah great. Where?”
“Until that information is pertinent, I am afraid I can’t tell you.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Nick asks
“A little bit both, Director.” Nick pinches the bridge of his nose.
“He’s safe though? And you have eyes on him?”
“Yes.” Nick takes a deep breath walks back to the room
“Okay, what we’re going to do is lay the blankets on the chairs so they hang over it. We’re going to put some only half up because then they can be this cool door like thing.” Clint explains once they have basically every single blanket and chair in the avengers area.
“No.” Rhodey says “We have to-“
“Clint knows what’s best.” Steve says angrily “He’s an adult.”
“I’m smarter then him. I know what we have to do.” Rhodey says with a glare.
“Steve.” Sam says calmingly “Let’s hear him out.”
“Fine.” Steve spits out
“We have to use the loops on the chairs. They’ll stay in place better. And will be able to hang down the side without sliding. And instead of putting them half down for a door, we use the smaller blankets that are lighter so it’s easier to move when crawling through.”
Everyone looks at Rhodey with a shocked but impressed face.
“Wow.” Clint says finally “How many blanket forts have you made?” Rhodey shrugs
“I dunno.” Rhodey thinks “Like a million probably.” Rhodey nods “Me and my friends would figure out the best way to do it. And we perfected it. Although I always was telling them what to do. And they would listen.” Rhodey smiles
“Okay. Well that’s exactly what we’re going to do, boss.” Clint says “Tell us what to do.” Rhodey grins.
“Tony?” loki asks wandering around after things start to get a little louder. “Where are you Tony?” He makes his way into the kitchen.
“In here.” Comes a muffled voice. Loki walks over to the cabinet and opens it.
“Are you okay?”
“’m fine.” Tony say softly
“I had an idea.” Loki says pulling himself “I can take this place over. And I’ll make them be queit.”
“No voilence.” Tony says sofltly
“No, I’ll use magic.” Loki grins
“Magic isn’t real.” Tony says sighing
“Is too. Wook, I’ll show you.” Loki opens his palm and a small light comes through
“Woah.” Tony says shocked.
“Yeah I won’t hurt them.” Loki says “I can’t anway. I don’t know any spells that can.”
“Pwomise?” Tony asks
“Pwomise.” Loki grins
“Everyone be quiet!” Loki shouts. When no one responds Loki uses his magic to turn off the lights.
“What the?” The all pause and Loki turns them back
“I said be quiet.” Loki demands
“Loki.” Clint says warningly
“No. I’m taking over and I’m making sure you’re not going to be woud.” Loki says firmly
“What do you mean taking over?” Steve demands “You can’t do that!”
“What did I say?” Loki asks letting a little magic come through his hands
“What’s that?” Steve demands
“Steve… kids, why don’t you… Stand behind us.” Clint and the adults put the children behind them.
“Okay, Loki. No one needs to get hurt.” Clint says first and cautiously
“Is Loki gonna hurt us?” Sam says scared.
“He is!” Steve shouts making the 3 children start to cry
“Okay, Loki.”
“All I’m asking is for you to be quiet.”
“Why is he like this, he’s 5.” Natasha hisses.
“Can we put on a movie?” Clint asks “Whatever one you want. You just… have to stop doing… that.” Loki nods and drops his hand
“Thank you.” Clint says sighing in relief. “It’s okay kids, Loki isn’t going to hurt you. We’re going to watch a movie and then have dinner.”
“Can we have pizza?” Sam asks rubbing his eyes.
“Is that good with everyone?” All the kids nod and Clint sighs in relief
“JARVIS order from our usual place, but get a significantly less amount. We don’t have a god and a super-soldier to feed. Well a mini one how much can he eat?”
“6 slices.” Clint says dumbfounded as Steve reaches for the next. “He’s going on to his 6th slice.” He looks at Natasha who hasn’t even gotten one because she is currently looking for Tony.
“He still has the serum I guess.” Natasha says with a shrugs “JARVIS, you said you had eyes on Tony, can you tell him its dinner?”
“He is aware. He is stating that he is not hungry at this time. If I may make a suggestion, let all the kids eat and then when they leave to finish the movie, Young Sir will mostly come out because it is quiet. If one of you would eat with him that would be ideal.”
“I’ll wait with him.” Nick says sitting down.
“Alright.” Clint says giving him a curious look. “Thanks.”
Once the feed time is over Clint takes everyone back over to the couch to finish Cinderella. (Clint, it’s obviously the best one. Of course Loki, because an Asgardain would know every single Disney movie ever made, Why not?)
“Jarvis, can you tell Tony he can come out and eat now.”
“Of course.” After a moment he hears a creaking noise and turns around and sees Tony crawl out of from under the sink.
“I remember you used to love hiding there.” Nick murmurs
“What kind of pizza is there?” Tony asks climbing on to a Furys lap. “We got some cheese, the one you like best.”
“Cool. Thanks Uncle Nicky.” Tony says taking a bite of the slice Nick hands him while, Nick himself eats a meatball one.
“Sure thing kiddo.”
“So.” Tony says swallowing a minute later “Where are we, and were is mom and dad and Jarvis?”
“You know, you’re the first person to ask that.” Nick says “Always the smartest one in the room.”
“Well?” Tony prompts
“Howard and Maria had to go away for a bit taking Anna and Jarvis with them and they left me to take care of you. We just had some other kids who had to be here too. I’m sorry it’s so loud. I know you don’t like it.”
“It’s okay.” Tony mumbles “When am I going home?”
“I’m not sure, but we’ll know soon enough.”
“Okay.”
“Hey Tony?” Fury says
“Yeah?”
“Everything is going to be okay. You’re gonna be great one day” Nick kisses the top of his head “Everything is going to be great.”
“I have figured out a way to reverse it.” Thor says walking into the room.
“Thank god. How?”
“Amora has assured me that spell will end at midnight.”
“Like Cinderella how fitting.” Thor raises an eyebrow “Doesn’t matter, what time is it?”
“It is just past 11.” Natasha says softly
“Should we put them to bed?” Bruce asks looking over “they’re half asleep anyway.”
“Just leave em, we’ll have JARVIS put in The Little Mermaid next.” Clint shrugs
“You did pretty good today, Clint.” Phil observes. “Better than the rest of us.”
“Yeah, so?” Clint asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Nothing, just… observing.”
“If you think this means we’re getting a kid-“ Phil just raises his hands
“You seemed the most like a parent. Just an observation.”
“Mhmm.” Clint flips him off.
An hour later a soft groan is heard.
“Think they’re back to normal?”
“What the fuck just happened?” Tony curses “why the hell am I in a cabinet?”
“Yeah, I think they’re back.” Clint says with a laugh Slowly they all make their way over to the group
“Do you guys remember anything?” Everyone nods slowly
“Why were we different ages?” Rhodey asks “And why the hell were you so difficult.” He says turning to Steve who just blushes.
“Hey, I can’t be the only one who wants to know why Tony was always crying or hiding?” Steve says with his hands raised
“That’s cruel, Captain.” Tony says with a glare.
“Yeah, but… why?” Natasha asks curious
“You guys were loud and annoying.” Tony shrugs
“You’re lying.” Steve says looking at him.
“Nick what did you mean when you said “Tony hasn’t told us?””
He glances at Nick who shrugs and then Tony looks down
“Tony.”
“Nick.” Tony whispers. “Do you mind…?” not meeting anyone’s eyes
“Sure.” Nick says with a small smile “Howard… wasn’t the man everyone thought he was. To put it simply.”
“And if you don’t put it simply?” Steve asks
“He was an abusive asshole who was always yelling at me.” Tony says keeping his eyes down.
“What?” There is a collective group ask
“Howard drank a lot, and was mean and yelled at me constantly so…”
“Did he hit you?” Steve asks outraged.
“No.” Tony says quickly
“Tony.” Nick says softly
“Fine, Yes.” Tony rolls his eyes
“And I punched you. God, I’m such an asshole. And Loki was only trying to help.”
“That’s a first.” Clint mumbles earning him a punch from Natasha
“I’m so sorry Tony.” all the avengers apologize too
“I’m fine. I don’t need a damn apology.” Tony says looking up “You were children who didn’t know any better.”
“How did you know?” Phil asks turning to Nick
“You want to tell them, Tone, or should I?” Tony flips him off “What, an hour ago you called me ‘uncle Nicky’ and now you’re flipping me off?”
“Would you rather I did something else?” Tony glares back
“Uncle… Nicky?” Steve asks
“Howard would bring me into SHIELD sometimes and well, Nick… would… watch me occasionally you know, being the new guy you get child care.”
“Did he change your diapers?” Clint asks with a grin.
“Fuck you, I was potty trained before he brought me.”
“There was that one time-“
“Why do you always have to bring that up?” Tony glares “That’s just as embarrassing for me as it is you.”
“What happened?” Clint asks with a laugh
“I threw up on him.” Tony says and they break out laughing
“I cannot picture you taking care of baby, Fury.”
“It was my orders.” Fury grumbles
“Nah, you just have a soft spot for me.”
“Do you know how annoying you were?” Nick asks with a glare.
“It’s not my fault you couldn’t keep up!” Tony goes back
“What other secret relationships are you hiding?” Steve asks
“Aunt Peggy.” Tony answers honestly
“What?” Steve asks shocked.
“How did you not figure that one out?” Nick asks “Howard knew Peggy before they knew you.”
“He never talks about her!”
“To be fair I don’t.” Tony shrugs.
“I just need sleep.” Clint groans “You 5 were a goddamn handful.”
“Hey, I was perefect.” Loki says with a grin
“You threatened to kill us all!” Clint shouts.
“Don’t be an idiot. You thought a 5 year old knew how to kill someone? It was basically a flash light.”
“What?” Clint asks and shakes his head “I’m going to bed.” Clint walks away Phil following
“Night.” Phil calls.
“Night.” They all say and head for their own rooms.
“What a Chaotic day.” Tony shakes his head and heads to his own bed.