Work Text:
Simon's PoV:
As I saw the paparazzi running towards us, even though we were still in the car, I zipped my hood up and looked on the ground. Wille already laid an arm around me, holding me tight against his chest. Malin, who drove the car, tried to find the perfect place to park, but the crowd was too much to not unsee us. "It's going to be alright." He kissed my head softly, fully wrapping his arms around me as soon as we were out of the car.
His arms were squeezing me against his chest, with enough space, so I could look on the ground. Still, the people tried to get pictures of me and Wille. Especially, they tried to get to me, so they could post shit about me again. It was slowly getting on my nerves, that the couldn't leave us alone and let us be a normal couple. Since Wille confirmed, he has abdicated and given the throne to his cousin, the journalists bothered us even more than before. I always asked myself, why the couldn't just let us live in peace.
Suddenly, I felt myself slowly losing my balance, anxiety quickly rising up my chest. I tugged myself on my boyfriend's jacket, trying to walk properly again like that. His head turned down to me, him asking if I was ok. "Mhm, just the anxiety getting worse again." I whispered, while he looked around the little crowd that formed, probably seeing Malin, as he tightened his grip around me. Gradually, I moved my head up too, spotting Wille's bodyguard around us. So, I laid my head against his chest again, giving him a sign, that I was getting worse bit by bit. His aura changed into an angry one and, at some point, he turned around to the paparazzi.
"Oh my fucking god, leave us alone! I answered every question on the internet, so do it like all the other normal people and watch that damn video. I'm sick of protecting my boyfriend, everytime we go out somewhere. We just want to live a normal life again." It still made me smile a little, even if I knew that this wouldn't stop those people in any way and rather would make a new headline on the internet. After that, Wille almost ran into the shopping center. Luckily, the people couldn't follow us inside, because they weren't allowed in here. Malin already made sure of that, I guess.
Obviously, she let us do our own thing at this point. Finally, I parted from my boyfriend a little, watching the muscles in his face calm down and forming a concerned look. "Are you ok? Should we find a bathroom or a private place, so you can calm down again? I still can feel your heart pounding really quick." Shortly, I thought about it, but then shook my head.
"No, I'll be fine. Thank you for protecting me from these assholes." He was about to answer me, when several flashes caught our eyes. We both scoffed, turning around and walking to the place we actually wanted to go to. I was happy, I had Wille's hoodie on, so I could calm down easier through his scent, it was spreading. He took my hand in his tightly, leading me to the little café, we wanted to go to.
Surprisingly, we made it to the café, without any weird looks or photos. We sat down on a table in the corner, far away from the entrace. After we ordered drinks and something to eat, I sighed and sank more into my seat. "I feel like the journalists have gotten more, since you abdicated. It sucks." Wille reached for my hand over the table, not taking his eyes off me. "I know, Simme. I wish we could have a normal relationship, like all the others. I would like to give you at least that. I'm so fucking done with them." He groaned, while I nodded.
He's right, we couldn't be a normal couple, since we've gotten together. I thought, that it would get better after he abdicated, but it didn't change much. At least, when it comes to the media. Our relationship has changed to the good, after the royal family stopped controlling us. We were free. And that was, what really mattered to me. I wouldn't leave him now.
"You give me enough, Wille. It's not your fault." I whispered, smiling at him slightly. His thumb stroked my hand softly, him also smiling at me. Finally, a waiter brought us our order, making our hands untangling themselves. I looked around shortly, just to check if anyone watched us or made pictures. A habit I started to develope, since my anxiety got worse. Whenever I go out, I always check if anyone looks at me or us, in this case. A fear grew in my stomach, everytime I was in a place with many people. I never felt like that before, so it was even harder to get through it. Luckily, I had my boyfriend, who quickly realized that something was wrong, as soon as I set a foot outside.
And he noticed this time too. "Try to ignore them, Baby. I'm there for you. If someone looks weird to you, we'll leave. ok?" My eyes met his, also seeing some nervosity rise up in them. So, I just nodded, taking his hand once again, him surrounding my hand in both his. We stopped talking about this topic, focusing more on useless things.
At some point, I could forget about what happened earlier completely. I chuckled at something Wille told me about Felice. "Yeah, she actually did that!" He smiled at me with relieve in his eyes. His smile copied on my face, me only having eyes for him. Everything around us went blurry, letting me watch my beautiful boyfriend in peace. "What's wrong?" I took the coffee, in front of me, in my hand, sipping on it slowly. It was still pretty hot, so I sat it down on the little saucer again. His light brown eyes stared holes into me. Mine just tried to read his mind, not quite understanding what his look meant.
"What do you mean?" He tilted his head slightly to the side, still smiling. Oh, how I loved this look of him. I reached over to him, brushing a strand of golden hair behind his ear. His head leaned into my touch, him closing his eyes. "You were looking at me with relieve. Why?" Understanding spread through his look, relaxing the muscles in his face. A hand crossed mine, pulling away from his cheek and brushing my thumb with his.
The cup met his lips shortly, drinking a sip out of it. "I was just happy to see you smiling again. Consindering what happened a while ago." He laid a gentle kiss on my knuckles, making my index finger caress his cheek. I wanted to respond to his answer, but suddenly heard a clicking coming from somewhere. My smile faded immediately, as I realized what this meant. I didn't even bother to look behind, just pulled my hood up again from Wille's red hoodie, letting my curls vanish abaft it.
"For god's sake, they can't leave us alone for a second." My boyfriend still held my hand, slowly standing up with me. He went to the cashier register, getting a waiter's attention, so he could pay. I already got out my wallet to pay for my part, but Wille shoved it away quickly, shaking his head. "You know I always pay on the date." My eyes darted into his, guitly. This was the only thing I would always fight with him about.
Since we've been going on dates lately, he always wanted to pay. Money was a topic we would never get on the same wavelength. I would've liked to pay for him many times, especially because I had my own good paid job now, but he would deny it or anticipate me every time. Because the clicks of the camera didn't decrease, I put my wallet back into the hoodie pocket and looked to the ground. Wille took my hand into his left one tightly.
Finally, the waiter came and let Wille pay. As soon as he was done, he walked out with me speedily. Outside we got attack by a crowd of people immediately. Camera's were held into our faces, while we tried to get away from there. "Stay close to me, I'll try to find Malin somewhere." I nodded, still looking on the ground. It weren't much people, especially no journalists, but it still overwhelmed me, that so many people made videos and photos of us, while we just tried to live in peace.
My boyfriend searched after Malin, calling her a few times. In those minutes, I felt like vomiting any seconds. My knees felt like giving up, so I clutched onto Wille again, making him take me into his arms quickly. "It's gonna be alright, ok? Malin's coming here right now and then we leave as soon as possible." The people came closer and I barely understood what he said. After he realised that, he pulled me closer, stroking my cheek softly, making me look up at him. His lips met the inbetween of my eyes faintly, trying to calm me like that.
Some people reacted with a wave of 'aww's, some made videos of this moment and some, a little away from the circle of people that formed around us by now, changed their faces into a disgusted one. I imagined someone shouting slurs, but this may also could've been my subconscious. Even though, I knew Wille did that to calm me, which worked, but we both also knew that it was a bad idea, consindering that this would be the number one the media would talk about the next few weeks.
In the corner of my eye, I saw Malin walking up to us. The moment she arrived, the crowd loosened around us. She nodded at Wille to the exit, symbolizing us to get out of there. So, we almost ran to the other side of the hall. My boyfriend held onto me tight, supporting me while walking. I felt wind blowing into my face, as we sat foot outside again.
When paparazzi started approaching us, I tried to focus on the breeze and the sudden weather change. Which, honestly, was the worst distraction. They came incredibly close, barely giving us any space to even breath. "Why does Simon hide? Can you please answer our questions?" Here we go again. My legs shook even more, me wondering how I could even stand at this point. The arms, around me, tightened, trying to protect me like that.
The crowd got more bit by bit and it made my head go fuzzy. My vision went blurry. Fuck. I closed my eyes, following Wille as good as possible. His heart slowly started fastening and I knew that definitey wasn't good.
Before anxiety slowly became a big part in my life, I would always take care of my boyfriend. He went to another therapist, after Hillerska closed, to treat his social anxiety. And it worked. At least, better than you would expect for two weeks treatment. Because he wasn't forced to be in a spotlight anymore, he could look after methods to calm himself. It actually got better with all of that. But then I got worse. Luckily, I had him by my side and, after we really promised ourselves to never hide things again from the other, I 'easily' could tell him how I felt. Well, he rather found it out himself, the second time it happened with him.
The first time I felt my heart race like hell, my legs giving up under me and the need to vomit aggravate, was in the super market, when I tried to get some things for Mama. People, behind me in line, started talking about me disgustingly. They said some things like, I don't deserve Wille or he would've been a better prince without me. I left the market, so overwhelmed by the new feelings I felt, that I forgot the things, I wanted to bring home, there. My heart felt like it would stop at any second.
And it did now too. My boyfriend whispered something in my ear, but I couldn't hear him any longer. The next thing I felt, was him lifting me up and carrying me to the car. Softly, he let me fall onto the seat, put my legs into it and closed the door. By the time I looked over to the seat next to me, he was already sitting there, pulling me close to his chest. Not even a second later, Malin got in, started the car and drove off.
She was really fast, which made my brain spin. Fortunately, the boy next to me realized how I felt and told his ex-bodyguard. I smiled at him thankfully, the smile fainting immediately as a pain in my chest grew. My hand wandered up to my heart, trying to ease the feeling of being shot. This was new for me, so I didn't know how to handle it. This all was too new for me.
Wille pulled the hood down, dragging his fingers to my curls. He whispered cute and calming things into my hear, that actually helped a little. The whole ride, I needed to vomit and my body was so ready to give everything out I ate in, at least, two days. But, because of Wille's help, I could hold it in until we arrived at home.
The moment the car stopped, I ran to the front door, digged out my keys, opened the door and hung over the toilet instantly. How I hated this. I felt digusted by myself for something I couldn't even control. A hand placed on my neck and another one stroked my back. After I was done, I leaned against the person behind me, exhausted.
"I'm sorry. It was all just too much now." My boyfriend shook his head, humming a 'no'. "You don't need to apologize at all." He kissed my head caringly, going through my hair once again. I closed my eyes for some minutes, enjoying his warmth, he spread through the whole room.
"How about, I'll make us some tea, while you rest on the couch a little. Then we watch your favorite movie and try to forget about these stupid people from today. How does that sound?" Nodding, I watched him from the side. "That sounds good." So, we both got up, me with a little help from Wille, and went to the kitchen. I laid down on the couch, directly relaxing my every muscle.
When I opened my eyes again, I saw my boyfriend in front of me, staring at me with slightly loving eyes and slightly worried ones. His index finger met one curl, he twirled around it softly. "I love you, Babe." A weak smile grew on my face. He kissed my forehead, "I love you, too, Wille." and then my lips right after. I really meant it.