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It’s as if he could sense something was wrong in the universe. Lan Wangji jolted awake and groped at his side only to find it empty. His alarm hadn’t even rung yet, meaning it should have meant his husband wouldn’t be awake. But clearly, he was gone. His phone started to buzz, but Lan Wangji ignored it. He stomped through the house, ripping open every door. But their home seemed as untouched as it was before. He went back to the bedroom and peered over to Wei Wuxian’s side of the bed, only to see his shark slippers still sitting there. If he left, they would be gone. Horror breached the recesses of Lan Wangji’s lungs. He collapsed onto the bed. His husband had vanished.
His phone buzzed again, and Lan Wangji exasperatedly grabbed the Nokia, growing a bit at the unknown caller ID. Who in the world would be calling him this early?! He rejected the call and basked in the silence while trying to ground himself. But the phone started to ring for a third time. This time, he answered.
“Who is it?” he snarled.
“Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan!”
“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji felt his heart drop. “Where are you?”
A nervous laugh echoed from the other line. “So funny story. You know how I’ve been working with electromagnetic waves and stuff lately down in the garage?”
“Mn.”
“I may have forgotten a solenoid in my pocket, so I got up to put it back because let’s be honest, things would be bad if I stabbed myself in the waist all because I got a little sloppy cleaning up. But I guess having a spiritually infused solenoid means it reacts with anything nearby. Which in this case was the phone,” Wei Wuxian rambled. Lan Wangji was mystified.
“What?” he hissed.
“Haha, Lan Zhan, I’m a Nokia!”
Lan Wangji made a strangled noise. Of course, only his husband would manage to pull off something like this.
“So, you… You are stuck inside the phone?” he asked.
“Yep!” Wei Wuxian answered. “Which, on that note, can you not tighten your grip so much? It kind of feels like you're squashing my spleen.”
Immediately, Lan Wangji loosened his hand. Wei Wuxian’s voice brightened up right away.
“Ah, much better. So from what I gather, it’s been about three hours. I figured out how to make myself ring, but I guess you were dead asleep. So, I had to wait until you woke. Now, as for how to fix this, I’ve been mulling an idea in my head that we probably have to generate some kind of energy equal to what was transferred to send my body into the phone. By any chance, is the solenoid still there?”
Lan Wangji flipped on the lamp and scanned the floor. Right by the nightstand leg, he spotted the little widget. However, he could sense no spiritual energy from it, and one of the prongs seemed to be singed and blackened on the end.
“I found it,” he told Wei Wuxian. “But it’s completely shot. There’s no energy.”
Wei Wuxian went quiet for a moment.
“Oh. Well. Hmm.” He muttered to himself, which made it all static noise for a second before his voice went back to being clear. “Maybe, we need a more direct approach. Can you send me spiritual energy?”
“I can try.” Lan Wangji focused and slowly tried to send a stream into the Nokia, but a high-pitched squeal made him stop. “Wei Ying?!”
“I’m fine, sorry. That, uh, tickles. But, it doesn’t seem like it’s sticking. We’ll have to try something else. What other kinds of energy would work here?”
The two bounced ideas with no success until Lan Wangji felt an itch as he stared at his husband’s slippers.
“Wei Ying, I need you to hang tight. I’m going to try something. It might… sting for a moment. But I’m going to concentrate some energy and zap it into the phone. Is that okay?”
“I’ve endured worse. I trust you, Lan Zhan.” Lan Wangji felt his chest squeeze tight.
“Mark my words. I will get you out of the phone.”
Lan Wangji got to work. He set the Nokia back onto the nightstand and ran to the other side of the bed. He retrieved a pair of bunny socks and pulled them up before scooting across the carpet like a madman. He went forward, backward, zig-zagged from side to side. He sashayed and ran in place. Rubbing. Rubbing. Rubbing. He felt his hair starting to stick up and figured it was fine. Carefully, he mucked his way back to the nightstand and, with all his built-up static electricity, he tapped the Nokia.
All of a sudden, Lan Wangji got flashbanged. There was a loud crunch as he covered his eyes from a bright light. When the dust settled, he gasped. Embedded on the opposite wall was Wei Wuxian and the Nokia. Lan Wangji rushed to catch him.
“Wei Ying!” he cried.
“Hah, that’s my name,” Wei Wuxian whispered. “Well, that worked. Whatever you did.”
“Next time, we'll check your pockets before you leave the garage,” Lan Wangji mumbled.
Wei Wuxian waved his hand noncommittally while he was helped to the bed. Once he turned around, his eyes widened at the very Wei Wuxian-shaped hole in the wall. However, even more perplexing, he stared at the Nokia still embedded in the wall.
“Is that thing still alive?”
Lan Wangji plucked the phone out and examined it. He turned it on and put it to his ear. The dial tone was as clear as day. He set it back onto the nightstand. Wei Wuxian was impressed.
“I can’t believe the wall is more damaged than that brick,” he exclaimed. Lan Wangji withered a bit.
“Don’t insult it. My brother got it for me,” he whined.
Wei Wuxian clicked his tongue. “Your brother got you a brick. Don’t lie, Wangji. Instead, what do you say we get back to cuddling? I’ve gone a few hours without hugging my husband, and I’m terribly upset about that. Fix it?”
Lan Wangji’s lips quirked up for a moment. He supposed that today was their day off anyway. There were no commitments.
“What does A-Ying need to say when he wants something?” he chided.
Wei Wuxian grinned. “Please, gege?”
That was all Lan Wangji needed before pushing Wei Wuxian down into the bed and rolling over him. Wei Wuxian yelped as he was pulled onto his husband’s chest. Both of them had to hide their little giggles and kisses. Even as the sun rose to bury their early predicament behind them, they once again allowed sleep to carry them back to peaceful rest. Brunch could wait.