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MCYT Fic Fight Season Four, Elaris_MCYT_FicFight_Fics
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Published:
2025-08-17
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1,165
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1/1
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19
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84
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look at all the work i've done (just took every drop of my blood)

Summary:

CROW: Interview of inmate 0011, the villain publicly referred to as ‘Phoenix’. Interview conducted by Crow and Blade. The time is 3:25pm. Inmate has been medicated to help with the interview process. Details are in the files.

PHOENIX: You DRUGGED me!

BLADE: With a truth serum, yeah. Because you wouldn’t talk.

PHOENIX: No. No no no no no no - you can’t-

CROW: We already did, mate. We just have a few questions-

 

OR; Tommy finds it a lot harder to keep his villain identity a secret when there's truth serum involved.
(title from self sufficient by cricket) (thank you lliw <3)

Notes:

LET THE RECORD SHOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TRUTH SERUM WORKS
Fic fight number 3 baybeee. This is formatted a little different but I had fun writing it all the same. Thank you so much for the prompt (:
(and go frogs!!!)

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

★ ★ ★ ★

[transcript of interview conducted at Hero Headquarters following the capture of the villain PHOENIX by the heroes to apprehend him, BLADE and CROW]

[tape recorder clicks on]

BLADE: How much longer ‘till it kicks in?

CROW: …I’d say it’s been long enough.

PHOENIX: Fuck you.

CROW: Interview of inmate 0011, the villain publicly referred to as ‘Phoenix’. Interview conducted by Crow and Blade. The time is 3:25pm. Inmate has been medicated to help with the interview process. Details are in the files.

PHOENIX: You DRUGGED me!

BLADE: With a truth serum, yeah. Because you wouldn’t talk.

PHOENIX: No. No no no no no no - you can’t-

CROW: We already did, mate. We just have a few questions-

PHOENIX: No! No, I won’t be talking. You can’t make me! You can’t make me and it will be very very bad if you do!

BLADE: Riiight. We’re so scared.

PHOENIX: You should be!

BLADE: Well, too bad. How did you get into the bank?

PHOENIX: Stupid fucking question. Vents, innit.

CROW: You broke into the vents?

PHOENIX: Didn’t need to, the vent on the roof is fucked up. You’re literally a bird and you DRUGGED me to ask about shit on the roof-

CROW: If you’d told us yesterday we wouldn’t have had to.

PHOENIX: Maybe you should mind your own fucking business!

BLADE: Maybe you shouldn’t try and fail to rob banks.

PHOENIX: I didn’t rob the bank! I merely caused a little - problem - in the bank.

BLADE: But you were trying to rob the bank. Badly.

PHOENIX: I was?

BLADE: Were you?

CROW: Blade, don’t confuse him. The serum could be affecting his memory.

PHOENIX: My memory is FINE, thank you very much! I was in the bank… causing a problem. A robbery would be a problem, right?

BLADE: Mm.

CROW: You also blew up the side wall.

PHOENIX: Oh yeah! That was awesome. So loud…

CROW: Why didn’t you hit the back wall?

PHOENIX: Uh, maybe because that’s where the workers were, idiot.

BLADE: The workers stopped you?

PHOENIX: Well I wasn’t trying to KILL anyone, God, who do you think I am??

BLADE: But you have killed civilians before.

PHOENIX: Not on purpose!

BLADE: How is setting fire to an office building full of people not on purpose?

PHOENIX: Th-That was - I didn’t - I didn’t mean to do that. I didn’t mean to do that it was just - just-

[PHOENIX begins to breathe unevenly]

CROW: This isn’t on topic.

BLADE: Crow, it’s important.

CROW: Even still,

PHOENIX: -I get stressed when I fight and when I’m stressed it - the fire is so loud-

BLADE: Alright, alright. Let’s go back to the bank - why did you blow up the side wall?

PHOENIX: Right, right - the bank… I told you, I was CAUSING a PROBLEM. The bigger the better, that’s what I always say-

CROW: You didn’t want anything else?

PHOENIX: Nope.

BLADE: …not even the money?

PHOENIX: N…no.

CROW: You just… wanted to cause a problem?

PHOENIX: YES! How many times do I have to-

BLADE: Why?

PHOENIX: So you’d… notice.

BLADE: …heh?

CROW: So Blade would notice?

PHOENIX: Both of you. Shit, shit, shit, shit-

CROW: You blew up a wall… so we’d come to the bank?

PHOENIX: Yes, okay, yes. Fuck!

CROW: Why?

PHOENIX: Because! Because I - I knew your patrol went near there. I knew it would be you guys who came.

CROW: Wait - how did you know our patrol?

PHOENIX: I heard you. I heard you talking about it, and I just-

BLADE: You heard us??

CROW: Blade-

PHOENIX: I always hear you! You never talk about anything else other than stupid fucking WORK!

BLADE: You listen to us. As civilians. You know where we live.

PHOENIX: Yes, yes, I - please don’t do this-

BLADE: You know about the missing kid we’ve been asking about then.

[PHOENIX inhales sharply]

PHOENIX: …Yes. Don’t know why you even care…

BLADE: The hell’s that supposed to mean?

PHOENIX: You never pay attention to - to him. Always working, always out on the late shifts just to get away. It’s no wonder he went missing! Where were you??

[a chair quickly scrapes the ground]

BLADE: Shut your-

PHOENIX: I’m sorry, I’m - I’m sorry-

CROW: Blade.

BLADE: Where’s Tommy? If you’re really so sorry - what did you do with him?

PHOENIX: God, I’m… Techno I’m right in front of you.

[a beat of silence]

[PHOENIX sniffles and hiccups]

BLADE: …Tommy?

PHOENIX: Heeeyyy…

BLADE: You’re Phoenix??

PHOENIX: Yes. Maybe. Slightly. Phil please don’t ground me-“

BLADE: I think bein’ grounded is the LEAST of your concerns right now,

PHOENIX: You weren’t supposed to find out! Stupid fucking drugs…

BLADE: Tommy, you were drugged because you’re literally a villain.

PHOENIX: It’s still fucked up! I have rights!

BLADE: You commit wrongs!

PHOENIX: Only harmless wrongs!

BLADE: You were the one who killed all those people…

[a chair is pulled back into place and creaks under someone’s weight]

PHOENIX: I didn’t want to, I said - I said I didn’t mean to. You have to believe me I know I’m a villain but I wouldn’t-

BLADE: How? How do we believe you? You’ve been lying for months, Tommy, do you honestly expect us to-

CROW: He’s still taken the truth serum.

BLADE: …true.

CROW: Even if he’s been lying before, the truth serum has a pretty high success rate.

[PHOENIX takes a shaky breath]

PHOENIX: I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just - I never see you guys anymore-

BLADE: So you became a villain??”

PHOENIX: I - yeah… Phil?

CROW: Probably shouldn’t call me that on tape, but… bit late for that now, I suppose.

PHOENIX: Are you mad? You look mad, I don’t - I’m really sorry…

CROW: …I just… can’t believe it. I knew the extra shifts weren’t easy for you to adjust to, but… why didn’t you tell me how bad it was?

PHOENIX: ‘s pathetic. I should’ve been fine, it - I should be able to take care of myself…

CROW: Tommy. I’m your guardian. If you’re feeling like you’re on your own in the world that’s - that means I’m failing.

PHOENIX: …you’re still a hero…

CROW: And you’re still my kid. Nothing can change that.

PHOENIX: Phil, I… I…

BLADE: Think the serum’s startin’ to knock him out. You did say it would do that, right?

CROW: Shit.

PHOENIX: ‘m fiiiine… just… need a nap…

CROW: We’re talking about this later. Techno?

[a beat of silence.] 

[BLADE sighs]

BLADE: …I’ll get him back for now. If we time it right, Blade could miraculously find the missing kid at the same time as Phoenix’s sudden disappearance. As long as you deal with the tape.

CROW: Right. Make sure you aren’t seen.

[fabric rustles]

[the metal chair creaks as weight leaves it]

[PHOENIX mumbles indecipherable complaints]

[the door opens, and then closes again.]

CROW: Interview, er… over, I suppose. Oh, God, this definitely means we need therapy-

[recorder clicks]

[end of transcript]

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