Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gaia is aware of her many reflections. She can feel her sisters and their shared connections, their fates, their destinies… all woven from the same threads yet creating entirely different tapestries from even the slightest of deviations. This reflection of herself could feel the Calamity from the Skies upon her body. It was watching and waiting for a time to strike, to enact vengeance for the prison she and her children forced the parasite into to keep all other life safe until a champion could eradicate the threat once and for all. The cost was heavy but Gaia and her children knew it would be far heavier without their sacrifices…

So Gaia was satisfied and it was time for her to rest.

Until, that is, she could feel The Calamity’s presence growing stronger once more and woke from her healing slumber.

What she woke to was the passing of time, much longer than her rest was meant to be, her body and lifeblood being devastated by human greed, her parasitic nemesis growing stronger by the day due to the human Scourge who tampers with her children, her lifeblood, and The Calamity, and finally, herself growing weaker by the moment and so few allies left…

Soooooooo yeah, she decided to tweak fate just a little bit.

It was far easier to send her voice to her children, no matter how unrecognizable they became under The Scourge’s hands, to complete this mission than to wait for devastation enough to send a WEAPON or her Champion. Her sisters have proven that that price is not worth being paid.

If she is anything, she is patient. It takes days… weeks… months… of reaching out to her children, her voice a mere whisper as they are stuck in the cage forged from her bones rather than next to her veins. But then the day arrives that her children fought so hard for, both on her behalf and their own.

The Scourge did not notice that the continuous escapes of her children were all carefully planned. Some distracted the human-parasite predators sent to capture or kill the escaped children, while others slowly whittled away at their targets to not arouse suspicion and have their plan thwarted.

Eventually enough damage was done, their preparations complete. Then when The Scourge entered the trap, Gaia pushed her presence through her lifeblood, and The Scourge was met with devastation unlike any other…

She is not supposed to, but for all her sisters that The Scourge sped towards their death as a puppet of the parasite, she relished in his screams until his soul was eradicated by her lifeblood just as his body was.

There. Everything was prepared for her Champion to finish the job, to fulfill his destiny, to be the hero and save Gaia and set all her children back onto a path of cohabitation and healing…

At least that’s how it was supposed to go… but hey, so long as it gets there eventually, she can keep being patient.

Chapter Text

Gaia has one messed up sense of humor. 

Nothing else can explain the past year of bullshit.

What makes Cloud so confident you may ask?

Let’s go through the checklist:

1. Gaia has sent him back into his younger self’s body, approximately his 16 year old self, in the fucking past. 
2. No warning, just waking up in his younger body in Shinra barracks all to have a mental breakdown in front of squadmates he doesn’t remember.
3. No enhancements followed him back.
4. Because Gaia sent him back to when he was in the infantry, he still has to work off his contract with Shinra or end up in generational long debt from the fine Shinra would slap him with. He still gets flashbacks to the paperwork nightmare that was.
5. All the work he and Avanlanche put into saving Gaia has been completely undone and he still has no idea how to save the planet on his own without enhancements.

The only good thing he’s found out while adjusting to the crippling depression, being forced into a body still going through puberty and without enhancements, all on top mind fuckery of time travel-

Hojo is apparently already dead?

He’s not fully sure what the fuck happened there, only that whatever did happen, it was caused by Shinra’s neglect to the building’s structure. Specifically the pipes. Which somehow led to them tossing more money at Reeve and his department, meaning that there was a surge of plumbing jobs made available throughout this ridiculously massive building.

So yeah, Cloud, in his Gaia induced moment of mania, decided the best way to stay away from SOLDIER until the end of the three years left to his Shinra contract was to transfer to the maintenance crew.

As a plumber.

Don’t ask him how the hell it made sense at the time. It certainly hardly made any sense as they explained that they’d allow the transfer of his military contract to enter a position they needed to staff asap and since he showed promise with his repair skills. Then dumped a mountain of papers he had to sign so that they could make the transfer official. Hence part of the reason he has paperwork trauma now.

Since Cloud was already two years into his contract when he woke up here, and it’s been a little over a year now since he’s become a plumber, there’s only two years left in this Shinra employment nightmare. Yet he still hasn’t made any progress in somehow figuring out how to get rid of the mako reactors, how to take out the President and the other directors that are outright unable to be spared for the sake of the planet’s future, or how to get rid of the biggest threats of them all.

Jenova and Sephiroth.

For some odd reason, unlike before he was sent back, Sephiroth seems to have retreated from the public eye, from fighting as a SOLDIER in general even when the conflict against Wutai hasn’t finished yet. Which is another thing he’s made zero progress in fixing…

He’s heard too many reasons for what was potentially the cause to really feel any of the Shinra employee gossip was reliable but everyone seems convinced it has to do with family matters. The only family Sephiroth should have is either dead or an alien currently snoozing in Nibelheim so Cloud’s not sure even that common gossip comment is true.

That is until today decided to prove him wrong.

He knew something was off when Pol had a grin this morning that was not their typical mischievous cheer, but instead clearly restrained insanity before dumping a request in the SOLDIER apartments into his hands, despite Cloud making it clear he didn’t want anywhere near those floors.

Cloud had even reminded Pol about his one request, Pol had just grabbed his shoulders and with a tone perfect amounts defeat and frustration with life that he could relate to all too well they had mumbled, “Shinra wants plumbers for practically every floor. Does it make sense? Not at all. It’s a seventy stories tall fucking building. Did they even give us enough staff for such bullshit in the first place? No. And half the staff are incompetent, untrained, or can’t handle their own goddamn jobs without someone holding their hands despite having the skills to do it alone. You’re one of our few competent workers that we can trust. For the love of everything on this planet do me and Ollie this favour Strife and we will give you a pay bonus, weekly top plate restaurant dinners on us until it's over, and shiny new tools of your choice- for you to keep not Shinra’s cheap ass attempts at underfunding this department by loaning the equipment- and even have your name at the top of the list for next pay increase, so long as you cover those damn floors of chaos for the next month before we die from aneurysms."

There is enough self awareness that Cloud can admit he can be an asshole. He could’ve said no and he’d know that Pol and Ollie would’ve respected that boundary. The thing is, Pol and Ollie were good people, actual good people despite being in this evil infested company and have somehow earned Cloud’s respect so he unfortunately doesn’t want to disappoint them. Plus the deal was good, really good actually, and it was only for a month. He knew the SOLDIERs floors had a reputation but he’s handled worse. And Cloud figures he can keep himself out of sight without too much trouble…

So like an idiot, he had said yes and now he has to face the consequences.

He didn’t expect those consequences he has to face to be three youthful faces he knows all too well even if they’ve shrunken down to toddlers from the nightmares he still has from geostigma.

“Are you the fix-it man?” A small chubby albeit still hauntingly familiar boy questions, “We can only let in the fix-it man.”

Cloud gapes down at the Remnants crowding around the door to the SOLDIER apartment he was given this morning. His eyes jump to the number by the door to that on his card and PHS and they all unfortunately said the same number, 797.

”It’s plumber, stupid.” Kadaj hisses to Loz, whose eyes begin to water as his lip wobbles.

Deciding to ignore whatever the fuck fate decided to do this time, he sighs heavily, dragging a hand down his face before reminding himself the sooner the job is done, the sooner he can leave.

“Stop crying, Loz.” Yazoo huffs.

“M’not crying!” The boy clearly about to cry whines.

“Can you show me the toilet that’s clogged?” Cloud asks before Loz is able to really start crying, it seems to work since all three pairs of mako eyes snap back up at him. Not sure how he feels about the eerie silence they fall into to just blatantly stare at him though… He decides to ignore it, it’s above his paygrade.

Kadaj steps away from the other two, looking over his shoulder in a dramatic way a kid can’t pull off without it being hilarious. Kids are just too tiny, on top of that Kadaj looks tiny even for a kid, “This way.” In a tone that’s far too serious for a naturally childishly high pitch.

Taking their cue from their tiny leader, Yazoo and Loz follow after Kadaj into the- honestly it’s a pretty decently sized apartment. Before Cloud makes it very far, literally having just walked through the doorway and into the entryway, closing the door behind him and moving to follow the trio of toddlers until Yazoo’s head snaps back towards him so quickly Cloud nearly grabs for a weapon, “No shoes inside. Those are the rules.”

Waiting for his heart to stop racing quite so fast, Cloud bends over to undo his work boots since he doesn’t really feel like arguing with his former enemies that somehow became two years old. Once he stands back upright, he notices the three pairs of eyes peeking around a door, no doubt the bathroom in question, watching him as if he were some sort of wild animal they were told to observe and document.

Taking a quick glance as he walks towards them, he notes that the apartment is nice, albeit a bit messy with kids toys strewn across pretty much every surface and some dirty dishes waiting to be dealt with at the sink but it definitely could be worse. The style of everything is every bit sleek modernity with blacks, whites, and greys that Shinra can’t seem to get enough of. As he finally reaches the bathroom, the three little Remnants part for him, or rather try to keep their distance from him while also undoubtedly hovering to see what he’ll do.

And yup, that’s one shit clogged toilet.

Cloud’s nose curls slightly at the smell, thanking the fact he didn’t have his enhanced nose right now, but he’s definitely smelt worse during this job. His hand smacks the bathroom fan on to hopefully lessen the stench a little bit anyway, “Either of you know what caused it to clog?” He asks, not really expecting them to answer or know the actual cause.

“We went potty.” Loz offers, glancing nervously between Cloud and the toilet.

“Loz is a baby and didn’t want to go alone.” Yazoo grumbles in a tone that’s clear he doesn’t want to be blamed for this mess.

Kadaj crosses his little arms before glaring at the toilet as if it had caused him personal offence, “We flushed but it won’t work like it’s supposed to!”

Cloud takes in the information as he sets his tool box down on the counter and grabs the bathroom’s plunger from the corner it was left in, until it finally sinks in and he looks down at the trio with confusion, “Wait, you all used the toilet at the same time?”

A truly impressive eye roll comes from Kadaj, “No dummy, we took turns.” Yazoo and Loz nod their heads in agreement.

Staring down at the wide eyed faces Cloud restrains the sigh trying to escape, “I meant did you all go to the bathroom and only tried flushing the toilet after each of you went.”

“Oh. Yeah. We did that.” Loz confirms while he nods his head.

Cloud stares at the toilet with a grim clarity that somehow Gaia has sent him back in time just to deal with his former enemies’ shit. Or maybe this was her revenge for him not fixing her problems faster…

At least it should be an easy fix… unlike the state of the world.

So without delay Cloud, with his mighty weapon the plunger, gets to work.

As the disgusting mixture within the toilet bowl he shall not bestow any details too squelches from his plunging attempts, he discovers a noise certainly not coming from a certain toilet.

He only pauses for a moment before continuing, not wanting to alert the toddlers he’s paying attention now- and sure enough after another squelch, he hears it clearly.

Giggles.

Taking a subtle glance over his shoulder, he sees each of the three boys covering their mouths with their hands to smother the noises but when he intentionally makes the noise this time, it’s clear in the shake of their shoulders that they can’t hide their amusement.

Kids.

With one final plunge the clog finally comes undone and the toilet clears itself out. Restoring peace to the bathroom once more.

Cloud doesn't expect the three cheers his success earns.

“He did it!”

“Fix-it man fixed it!”

“We can use the toilet again!”

The job now done, he sets the plunger back into its place, he’s certainly not the one cleaning it, and washes his hands, “It should be good to go now but promise me that if you all have to share a bathroom trip, flush between each of your turns. Otherwise there might be too much for the toilet to try to flush and that’s how it’ll clog.”

When he turns around from drying his hands off, he doesn’t expect little hands to be holding out bills of gil to him. Cloud raises his brow and asks plainly, “What’s with the money?”

The three toddlers all look up at him as if he’s stupid, Kadaj of course being the one to explain to the supposed idiot, “Dad said if we clog the toilet then we’d have to pay you to fix it.”

Ignoring the chill that rushes down his spine at the thought of who would be considered dad to these three, Cloud shakes his head and grabs his toolbox wanting to book it out of there now, “Shinra pays me, I don’t need your money. You guys keep it for candy or something.” He definitely hasn’t stooped so low as to take money from children.

Except Kadaj apparently doesn’t like the word no, none of them do. Loz starts looking like he’s about to cry again, Yazoo staring at the gil in his hands as if the money’s somehow lied about what it is and that must be why it was refused. Whereas Kadaj storms up to him and smacks the gil against his stomach with a glare, “No! You get paid or it’s- it’s-” Kadaj’s face slowly starts turning red with frustration as whatever word he’s looking for eludes him.

“...Exploitation.” Yazoo mumbles softly and Cloud does not have enough sanity left in him to question how they tied that particular word to a worker not being paid money for their job. He tries one more time, “I’m not being exploited, Shinra is paying me to fix your toilet.”

Loz hiccups and tears really start rolling down his face, “W-We exploited him!”

For the love of-

“Fine, I’ll consider it a tip this one time, not payment, since I’m not being exploited.” At his words all three kids immediately beam with victory and run up to him to shove the money either into one of his uniform’s many pockets or smack it against him until he takes it like with Kadaj.

Once he’s gotten his money, the three start pushing his legs out of the bathroom, while muttering to themselves, “He’s been paid.” “Dad said that’s when he can leave.” “Okay you can go now. Bye.”

And just like that they’re back at the entryway and he’s slipping his boots back on, Loz even handing him his next boot for him when he finishes the first, and no he’s not forgetting what happened between him and the older versions of these three but-

Well, they don’t look older than two or three and he still hasn’t seen an adult around. Not that he wants to see the dad in question… not at all but- kids this young aren’t meant to be unsupervised right?

So before they can manage to shove him out entirely, he glances around one more time, noting now that there’s three plates with unfinished snacks on the coffee table and some kid’s cartoon channel on the tv. But no sign of adults apart from some pairs of shoes around the door in a cubby and one pair for one of the adult’s rows missing from one cubby.

“Are you three home alone?” Cloud can’t help himself from asking.

The three Remnants all visibly tense, their eyes wide as if caught doing something they weren’t supposed to and in a blink Cloud is pushed out into the hallway, his toolbox shoved across the floor after him, then a door slammed in his face and the sound of a lock clearly snapping into place.

“BYE BYE!” “GO AWAY NOW!” The two louder boys shout from behind the door that Cloud can only blink at in surprise.

Was he…?

Was he just kicked out by toddlers?

What the fuck has his life come to…

Chapter Text

There wasn’t exactly much he could do with a door in his face and a lock in place. Not like he could ask someone else about the toddler trio without potentially drawing unwanted attention to himself.

So Cloud, after being promptly kicked out by toddler Remnants, continued going about the jobs that popped up along the SOLDIER floors all while trying to keep out of sight from… two notable SOLDIERs specifically. Thankfully he saw neither hide nor hair of either of them throughout the entirety of his first day doomed to the SOLDIER floors. Though a part of him wondered if that was worse…

The day consisted of a faucet that wouldn’t turn off, a couple clogged toilets, one toilet that outright stopped flushing at all, fixing a sink that one newly mako injected third accidentally broke because they were still adjusting to their newfound strength- thankfully Pol told him that one of the best parts about the SOLDIER floors is that there’s storage closets full of replacements like sinks designated to those floors exactly for that reason. So there was no wait time for ordering a new one and he had it fixed that day.

By the time those were all done, the day was getting close to ending so he started working away at the checklist Pol had given him to chip away at throughout his month here to see if he noticed anything in need of repairs or attention for the drainage and pipe systems themselves that only a plumber would really be able to notice. Especially with the amount of mako that went through these floors, Pol and Ollie didn’t want whatever capital-I Incident they kept referencing from the R&D labs to happen again because Shinra neglected to simply check on their stuff to make sure it wouldn’t break from too much wear.

So that’s how Cloud ended up being in a maintenance only staff closet staring at the pipes while munching on the other half of his sandwich he didn’t finish at lunch, to write down the readings they were showing. It was honestly one of the nicer parts of the job, yeah not really mind stimulating but the quiet of his mind as he simply wrote down numbers while tucked away from the rest of the world, even if it could get a bit loud since it is pipes, it just let’s him breathe for a minute.

He even took off the new ballcap that Ollie had silently slipped to him when Pol no doubt snitched after Cloud told him why he kept the ratty one he’d found in the slums to hide his very distinguishable hair. Apparently they didn’t care about him wearing the hat so long as it was “workplace appropriate” and matched his uniform so that anyone in upper management couldn’t complain about it. Which led to one morning with Ollie handing him a ball cap the same blue as his uniform, with Shinra’s plumbing logo stitched into it, and revealed Pol apparently hand stitched it themself during his warning for Cloud not to lose it.

Every time he looks at the hat, Cloud feels like the ache where his heart holds space for his lost friends isn’t as all-consuming as it was when he first woke up here. Not that it will ever leave…

Finished with one row of pipes and gauges, Cloud takes another bite of his sandwich and turns to get the readings on the next row-

Only for his PHS to blare out a ringtone he set for a very specific person.

Cloud scrambles for his PHS, ripping it out of his pocket while coughing on the piece of sandwich that went down funny and sure enough Pol’s name was waiting for him. With a flick the phone flips open and he croaks out, “Pol what-?”

“Cloud! Buddy, ol pal, the bestest employee in this den of idiotees! Just got a call from your floor saying there is uuuhhhh- an issue.”

“...An issue?” After a year he’s gotten pretty good at telling Pol’s moods and tones apart, this was going to make him yearn for his shitty dorm room bed badly, wasn’t it.

“Yup, in fact, it’s the same place you went to first thing this morning!”

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-

“Did I… do something wrong?” That’s gotta be why. Or maybe their “dad” came back and didn’t like how he handled something. Maybe the kids weren’t actually supposed to give him that gil despite their teary eyed insistence on not “exploiting” him.

“Do something- what? No. Strife what did I tell you this morning, you’re competent, like actually, full blown competency no takes backsies. So no you didn’t do anything wrong. It won’t be a hard fix from what I could catch but just go back over and try to calm those kids down at the very least. I could barely hear anything over one of them crying for the ‘Fix-It Man’, which, adorable by the way, totally stealing that.”

“Okayyy, what exactly am I fixing?”

“Sounds like they tried flushing the toilet too much and you know how unintentionally destructive kids are.”

They didn’t… Oh gods- if they did and their “dad” hears about who told them to do it then-!

Cloud swipes his things together as quickly as he can and rushes out of the maintenance closet like the devil is on his tail. 

Only he hopes he can be fast enough to prevent that outcome from becoming a reality.

…

The one to open the door this time is little Yazoo. Both his hands are covering his ears and even with his long hair it doesn’t hide the look of utter overstimulation from the noise shrieking further in the apartment.

“WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-!!!”

The boy winces at the volume but when Yazoo looks up at Cloud’s face and they make eye contact, a small gasp leaves him that’s nearly lost underneath the wailing from within the home, “Fix-It Man is back!”

A little hand wraps around his fingers of the hand not currently holding his toolbox and starts insistently tugging him inside, slamming the door behind them so fast it nearly clips Cloud in the side.

“Woah buddy-” He tries to start only to be cut off by another ear piercing shriek.

“DAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-!!!”

“LOZ! STOP! CRYING!” Comes from Kadaj before there’s a sound of an unmistakable smack.

Cloud stares down at both the red faced Kadaj and Loz who stares at his brother in shock with a bright handprint on his cheek. Both him and the two toddler remnants stay frozen as Loz’s lip wobbles but before he can overcome his shock, his eyes find Cloud and his breath stutters. Tears escape the glossy eyes but Loz doesn’t scream and takes an audible gulp, “F-F-ix i-it m-m-maaan…?”

Not knowing what else to do, Cloud simply nods, “Y-Yeah bud.” His eyes jump from the slap mark to Kadaj who seems to be huffing from his telltale anger issues but also there’s that dangerous gleam of pride…

So with a deep breath, Cloud prays for the overtime pay to be worth it…

Using his best stern voice, he tries his best to mimic Barret, “Here’s what we’re going to do.”

When all three pairs of eyes snap up at him due to his tone, Cloud stands a bit straighter but Yazoo is still holding his fingers so he doesn’t stand quite all the way, “I want you three to take a seat on the couch. I’m going to find something cold for Loz’s cheek. After that, Yazoo will show me what’s wrong with the toilet-”

Kadaj’s scowl doesn’t go unnoticed at the news but before he can get a word in, Cloud stares him down, “Yazoo is showing me what’s wrong with the toilet. Kadaj you’re going to calm down just like Loz because it’s not okay to hit your brother. Once I’m done with the toilet, we’ll talk about how it got broken this time.”

“BUT AM CALM! LOZ IS THA BABY!” Kadaj screeches and stomps his feet to show off his fury, meanwhile Loz’s lip wobbles dangerously again and he hiccups on a suppressed sob.

“Screaming isn’t calm. And you’re all babies.” Cloud states bluntly and he sets his toolbox down a moment and offers his other hand to Loz who instead hugs pretty much half of Cloud’s arm instead. Unfortunately it’s as adorable as it is snotty but his uniform has met worse fluids before. Both bodily and otherwise. But he carries on anyway towards their target.

“AM NOT!” Kadaj is glaring daggers at them as Cloud leads his brothers over to the couch and he gives Yazoo and Loz a small boost onto the furniture since they’re- well, ridiculously short unlike their adult counterparts. They sit obediently enough, Loz clinging onto Yazoo now, who looks disgusted by his brother’s snotty face but only squirms a bit rather than shove him off, “Eww, bow your nose Loz.”

He can’t quite suppress his snort of amusement at that, so he grabs a box of tissues off the coffee table while Loz whines to his brother, “M’not eww ‘Zoo!”

“It’s okay to be a little eww. Also it’s blow your nose, not bow.” He’s not sure if kids this young know how to blow their noses properly or not so he sets the tissue box next to them but helps Loz start to clean up his face, which makes Cloud question how much snot one kid can possibly make. Do enhancements affect how much snot a person’s body produces? It feels like the tissues are endless for a moment.

Of course Kadaj hates being ignored so he comes over to the couch, scowl still in place, “That’s yucky.” Is all he contributes to the conversation before heaving himself up onto the couch out of short kid spite just to keep pouting in the corner of the couch furthest away from Loz and Yazoo.

Figuring the kid is cleaned up enough, Cloud goes to the freezer and sure enough there’s an ice pack so he grabs it then swipes a towel hanging off the oven's handle. Since he’s already started rummaging, he may as well commit. After opening a few cupboards he finds what he’s looking for and only gets one suspicious comment from Kadaj who he’s pretending not to see peeking over the back of the couch to watch him, “What is you doing?”

It doesn’t take long to fill them up and so he brings over what he “is doing” so to speak.

“Here you go Loz, can you hold this to your cheek for me?” Cloud hands over the towel wrapped ice pack before handing out the three sippy cups of water to each kid, they take what he offers with slight confusion on their faces so he explains.

“Loz was crying a lot. Crying uses up water, so it's good to drink water after crying.”

“But me and ‘Zoo didn’t cry! We’re not babies!” Kadaj exclaims, looking ready to chuck the offending sippy cup in his tiny chubby hands across the room.

“No but I have a job for you three so you all need sippy cups.” He lies, like a liar.

That seems to get all three of their attentions, Yazoo’s eyes widening from behind where he’s chugging away at his sippy cup, whereas Loz is still sort of trying to figure out how to hold both the ice pack and his sippy cup at the same time.

“Job? Like dad?” Yazoo asks quietly around his sippy cup.

Cloud internally sighs with both relief and exhaustion at the mention of the so-called dad, “Uh, sort of. Not exactly like your dad. But I need to fix the toilet, right?”

Kadaj seems intrigued and thankfully is quiet and not scowling, as much at least, “Yeah. You’s the Fix-It Man.”

Okay that sounded like a “You’re dumb.” kind of reminder but he’ll ignore it…

“Yup, so while I go fix the toilet, I need you three to drink up some water. Water makes you have to use the bathroom. Once I fix the toilet, you three need to use it to make sure I did my job right. That’s how you can help me make sure the toilet is working again.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“What if I don’t gots to pee?!”

Cloud blinks at Loz’s sheer panic at the mere thought of not having to pee later, “Uhhh, you don’t have to do it while I’m here. You’ll go eventually, especially if you keep drinking water.”

“Oh, okay.” With that said, the little boy keeps sipping away at his sippy cup as if his peace of mind was never disturbed in the first place.

Geez these kids…

“Alright… Yazoo, can you show me what’s wrong with the toilet?”

“...what about drinking the waters to go potty?” Yazoo mumbles while looking between Cloud and his cup.

“You can bring your cup with you and when you’re done then you can come back out and keep drinking. Sound good?” There’s a little nod and as he grabs his toolbox he hears the little thump of Yazoo sliding off the couch and isn’t sure if he should be surprised or not when little fingers wrap around his own again to lead him to the bathroom as if he wasn’t here just that morning.

Once Cloud gets to the bathroom and sees the issue he stares at the toilet, as though that would explain why part of its tank is just utterly shattered. There was clearly a mess of water due to it based on the mop and bucket still leaning in a corner of the bathroom that hasn't been put away but that's thankfully not his problem.

Not needing to be prompted, Yazoo explains, “We flushed. A lot. Then it went crick crack and dad said not to touch it ‘cause is pokey.”

“Right…” Cloud stares at the toilet and hums in thought. He knows where the closest closet full of replacements is, but…

He rummages around for his tools to at least make sure the water to the toilet is turned off for now. As he’s rummaging he figures he can’t avoid at least asking the one question that’s been nagging at the back of his mind since this morning, “So uh, is your dad at work now?”

Yazoo looks up at him and after swallowing the gulp of water he has in his mouth he shrugs, “Dad goes with scary man for work. Sometimes he goes sees the Misters in the hospital. They’re sick.”

“Oh… Do you three not have a babysitter?”

“We’s do. Lots of them. Dad needs to find ‘nother one ‘cause Kadaj bit dem.”

So nobody lasts long babysitting the enhanced toddlers. How does that make an unfortunate amount of sense…

Cloud makes quick work of turning off the water and drains what water is left in the toilet to prepare for the replacement he’s got to go fetch. Yazoo is watching over his shoulder and seems close to finishing his sippy cup of water, “Was you doing?”

“I’m turning off the water and getting rid of what’s left in the toilet so it doesn’t get everywhere when I go get a new toilet.”

“There’s water on the floor though…” Yazoo points out, and yeah there are a few spots from the mopping that haven't fully dried yet, which makes Cloud grin a little, “Yeah but we don’t want more water, do we?” There’s a silent shake of his head and he watches Cloud for a little while longer before deciding he’s bored and heads out into the living room again. 

Only for Kadaj to take his place as a hovering presence instead a moment later, “Did you fix it?”

“Not yet.” Finishing up with his prep, he shoves the broken toilet out of the way and Kadaj looks genuinely worried when all that’s left is the exposed plumbing where the new one will go, “No more toilet?”

“Just for a little bit. I have to go grab a new one but I’ll be quick once I have it.”

Kadaj follows him out of the bathroom, barely leaving him any room to walk. For good measure Cloud closes the bathroom door behind him so that they’ll hopefully not touch what they shouldn’t while he’s gone.

But when he tries to go to the door, all three seem utterly scandalized.

“Where is you going?” “The toilet’s still gone!” “My water’s done…”

Cloud blinks down at the three toddlers crowding around him before glancing towards the door, “I just have to go grab the other toilet. I’ll be right back, okay?”

There is some definite mistrust mixed into the weird onslaught of emotions going through the tiny faces. It only makes a bit of sense when Yazoo mumbles, “...dad says that too.” And Cloud seriously doubts the kid means that “dad” goes out to grab toilets of all things.

Trying to think up a solution, because he doesn't have time to fight with toddlers to make sense in their jumps of logic, he spots a PHS on the coffee table that wasn’t there this morning, “What if I call that PHS and you all can talk to me the whole time and that way you’ll know when I’m on my way back?”

Yazoo and Loz look at each other with clear hesitation, but Kadaj runs over to the PHS and brings it back over, holding it up like an offering and a persistent stare that Cloud recognizes all too well.

“Thanks.” And just that much gives the kid plenty of satisfaction as Cloud plucks the PHS out of his hand and with a few clicks, and thankfully no password to stop him, he’s got the number and even gives it a call then and there to prove his word. As the PHS rings, the kids gasp, “It called!” “Answer it!” “I wanna press the buttons!”

It takes a moment to wrangle them back into sitting down on the couch but eventually he’s out the door and on his way to the supplies closet. Although unlike his other trips, he’s got chatter in his ear the entire way.

“Fix-It Man?” “What’s he sayin???” “Is he dead?” “No! Don’t be stupid.” “M’not stupid!”

“I’m still here. No, I'm not dead. And don’t call each other stupid, it’s not nice.”

“Why not?” Asks the one that is most definitely Kadaj’s voice.

Unfortunately Cloud doesn’t really know how to explain it in a way that kids that young would understand… Then a fuzzy memory crawls into the back of his mind and he can hear his mother’s voice speaking through him, "Because words… have power.”

There’s an audible gasp, though he’s not sure which one it comes from, “Power?” “Like magic?” “Like a punch?”

Cloud snorts and nearly misses the turn he has to take to get to the supplies closet he’s looking for, “Uhh, I guess more like magic in this case? Anyway, words can either lose power the more you say them, or they can gain power the more you say them.”

“Why?” That one was definitely Loz.

“Well… I’m not sure, but it’s like learning something. The more you do the thing you’re learning, the better at it you get I guess. But uh, with words, the more you say mean things like calling someone stupid, the worse they make a person feel. People can even get sick when their feelings get hurt too much.”

“They can!?” “WHAT!?” “How!?”

Cloud winces at all the shouting and has to briefly hold the PHS away from his ear while he fishes around for his key to the storage room, “Uhhh, I’m not real sure about the specific science of it but do you know what chemicals are?”

“The things the bad guys use.” Cloud nearly drops his key at the hollow sound to Yazoo’s voice.

Fuck. That was a bad question.

Taking a deep breath and beating back the creeping sense of dread building up in his gut in reflex to certain… memories, Cloud tries to keep his voice steady, “Not... quite. Our bodies have chemicals to make them work. You know how there’s different languages?”

“Yeah.” “Duh.” “Like Wutai?”

“Yeah, like Wutai. Well some people have jobs as translators where they know more than one language and take words in Common and turn them into the words used in Wutainese. Chemicals are pretty much how your body translates emotions into a physical reaction in your body. So like how if you eat too much candy and get a stomach ache, if you have too much bad emotions, like from feeling sad that people are saying mean things to you, you can get sick.”

Only one of them make a sound as they digest the information he just dumped on them, “Oh.”

Cloud finally gets inside the closet and it’s pretty quick to locate where the extra toilets are since Pol and Ollie actually organize them all the same way like the efficient people they are, unlike the rest of Shinra.

“Mister Fix-It Man?”

He can’t help another grin at the name, “My name’s Cloud. But yeah, Loz?”

“Cloud. Are the Misters dad visits in the hospital sick because they feel sad?”

A difficult question, thankfully for someone else other than him to answer, “I don’t know bud. I don’t know who they are or why they’re there.”

“Could dad end up in the hospital because he’s sad?” Kadaj asks with a fear tinted with clear shock.

Technically their dad could end up way worse than in the hospital when he’s feeling particularly sad and angry actually. But he’s definitely out of the emotional capacity to even touch that shit on his own let alone try to explain it to toddlerfied versions of his former enemies.

“I’m not sure. But I don’t think so. He’s got you three looking after him right?” He tries to redirect as he bends over to grab the box he’s looking for and pull it onto the cart he’s got at the ready.

“Mm.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Are you sad Cloud?”

Cloud nearly bangs his head on the shelf above him but only narrowly misses it, “What? Me? You only met me this morning. Do… I look sad?” Though he’s not sure if he wants to hear this answer. He definitely isn’t… okay but he’s fine. Probably. He has to be fine.

“No, you look like a chocobo.” Loz states bluntly, and the other two burst into a peal of giggles, “He does!” Kadaj howls.

How the heck do they know- One hand pats at his head and Cloud finally realizes he must've forgotten his hat in that maintenance closet earlier in his rush. With a quiet sigh he rolls his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, I look like a chocobo.” Which the three little shits do, they laugh and laugh and he’s partway down the hall when he remembers to tell them, “By the way I’ve got the new toilet so I’m on my way back.”

“Toilet!” “Yay!” “Potty time!” “Wait for me Loz.”

Cloud feels a sudden sense of foreboding as he hears a door open over the phone and he quickly asks, “Wait you’re not trying to go potty right now are you?”

“Yeah!” “Bye Cloud!” “Potty time!” 

“Wait don’t-!” But the line is cut and Cloud stares down at his PHS with a growing sense of horror before he starts darting down the hall with his cart, nearly plowing down a few SOLDIERs here and there and he has to give curt apologies as he keeps rushing back to the apartment.

Their dad will probably kill him if those three do what he thinks they’re about to do.