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Part 33 of The Path Not Taken
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2025-08-21
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2,050
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1/1
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Delusions of Grandeur

Summary:

Upending someone’s worldview is actually very difficult to do on purpose, most people have discovered.

In fact, the vast majority of the time, people don’t realize they’ve done it until the person with the aforementioned upended worldview passes out from the shock.

And then there’s Tony Stark.

Notes:

So, I actually HAVE an idea for a fluff piece. I have a base concept and a couple of thoughts and phrases are starting to come to life. AND I AM GOING TO WRITE IT!!!

Why this came first, I do not know. It just did. I think mostly because, shockingly, there's a common trope/supposition that Tony is hurt when, shortly after New York, he offers new equipment to the team, Barton in particular, and is arrogantly informed that 'friendship can't be bought'.

I just . . . my Tony, the one we got so many glimpses of, isn't a robot, but he isn't a doormat, either. He is ruthlessly pragmatic and has a solid understanding of life and people. I don't see that enough in fic.

So I wrote another one.

Enjoy!

Work Text:

Delusions of Grandeur

Upending someone’s worldview is actually very difficult to do on purpose, most people have discovered.

In fact, the vast majority of the time, people don’t realize they’ve done it until the person with the aforementioned upended worldview passes out from the shock.

And then there’s Tony Stark.

Not only does he fully intend to shatter your beliefs (the longer held, the better) when they are demonstrably wrong, he takes an inordinate amount of glee in it.

(this is a direct result of being so openly and ferociously despised and envied for his many gifts, talents, and abilities, though he doesn’t let himself realize that)

But sometimes, it’s a complete accident.

Like today. The best part is that there’s no way to tell which of the people involved will never recover.

It’s been five months since the Battle of New York and the team has mostly-settled in the Tower. He and Rogers are still wary of each other . . . well, no, that’s a lie. Rogers resents Tony for being the one to save the day, as it were, and that’s on top of his indignation that Tony is more important than he is, more influential, more well-known, and does not give him so much as an ounce of deference. He also doesn’t recognize the respect the man affords him, though to be fair, that’s because Tony’s primary language for people he isn’t close to and don’t quite trust is sarcasm, puns, and some really random pop culture references. Since Rogers understands none of these, especially the modern references, he assumes Tony is just bullying him and reacts accordingly.

For his part, Tony has neither the time nor the inclination to coddle a man who is so stubborn on general principle, he not only refuses every single thing anyone offers to do to help him, but he has declared his refusal to fully acclimate to his new world. As far as Steve Rogers is concerned, school and book learning is for those too weak to get their experience by working, while technology beyond the basics — a phone and radio — is just a bunch of wasteful frivolities that serve no truly useful purpose.

Which he said.

To Tony Stark.

With complete sincerity.

Thus, the two of them are at something of a stalemate. The past is standing headstrong against the future and while that will not, cannot, last forever, at the moment, it’s an insurmountable obstacle.

Romanova is treated with cold disdain and excruciatingly polite manners. He loathes her to the depths of his soul and wouldn’t trust her if she told him water was wet. She is well-aware of this and is content to leave things as they are: civil. Not that she doesn’t try to manipulate him every chance she gets, because that’s just who she is, but he knows to expect it now and doesn't take it too personally.

Bruce is fun to work with in the lab and Tony is hopeful their strong working relationship will blossom into genuine friendship, but he doesn’t push. That’s a lesson he’s learned the hard way, so he will let Bruce come to him if and when he’s ready.

And then there’s Barton.

Tony isn’t quite sure what to think about the man. On the one hand, he is so clearly loyal to Romanova that it’s rather concerning, since she is loyal only to herself. But he has a great sense of humor once he gets the arrow out of his ass and isn’t being stifled by Steve ‘I don’t understand your references so you can’t say them’ Rogers. On the other hand, he is a lot more volatile than Tony is comfortable with. He will be laughing and joking one minute and then go stone-cold killer the next, or hateful jackass, with no identifiable trigger.

On a personal level, Tony is still ambivalent and likely will be for a long time. Being a SHIELD agent means Barton trusts people more easily than Tony, but only by an increment of about .0575. Also, there’s a 100% chance that Romanova and/or Fury had given him that BS ‘profile’ she’d pulled off the internet and did a ‘Find and Replace’ to add his name in, which means he’s going to think the worst of Tony unless and until Fury or Romanova tells him otherwise or — considerably less likely — he actually makes the effort to see past not just SHIELD's lies, but Tony’s masks.

And if he's being completely honest, neither of those are going to happen. Barton is not just a follower, but a man who doesn't generally think for himself. He doesn't follow just anyone, of course, you have to earn his trust and loyalty, but once you have it, he will do anything you tell him and believe anything you say as long as it doesn't negatively affect him.

That kind of personality makes Tony wary and even a little sick, for a lot of reasons, and it will also make it difficult to lower his own masks to allow Barton to see the truth.

So: a personal relationship, friendship, is theoretically possible, but extremely unlikely.

Professionally, though . . . well. What the man can do with a bow and arrow is nothing short of incredible and Tony is highly appreciative of his skills, even if the anachronism gives him hives. Still, with guns and grenades and bombs being most people's standard equipment now, a bow and arrow will be more difficult to prepare for and thus, will also allow a lot more options, both offensive and defensive.

Plus, it's a challenge he hasn't undertaken yet, and there is little Tony Stark hates more than being bored.

He is considerably less enamored of the archer’s equipment, especially since he’s supposed to rely on it to have his back in the field, which works out because he’s very curious to see just what kind of bow and arrows he can design. And, of course, he knows Barton and Romanova at least are expecting custom-made tech. But nobody actually says anything along those lines for the first few months; they’re all in a holding pattern, seeing how things are going to pan out and what, if any, new alliances form.

And somehow, despite the hunger he knows the spies have for new Stark equipment, they have the sense to keep it to themselves and he is content to wait and see, at least for a little while.

But in a strange turn of events (or, more likely, on Fury's strict, direct orders), their patience actually outlasts their desire for his stuff and Tony caves after the third mission. Barton’s equipment is just too unstable for his peace of mind, given that two of his arrows had nearly failed, endangering both Tony and several civilians, so at dinner one night, he bites the bullet.

“Hey, Clint,” he begins, taking a sip of scotch and watching carefully as the other man ignores him until he’s chewed another 23 times and swallowed two big gulps of beer before deigning to look at him. Since he had literally just been talking to Banner with his mouth full, the insult is both clear and obvious, and Tony mentally makes the note.

So much for possibly being friends with Barton. Admittedly, it had been a small possibility and one the man himself had never indicated any desire for, but still.

Well, good to know.

Thankfully, making him a new bow and some arrows is genuinely nothing but a professional courtesy. He still proceeds cautiously, though. The sarcasm he appreciates has a biting, bitter side to it that he has no desire to provoke just for the hell of it, but he is confident in both his assessment of the Spy Twins’ desire for custom-made Stark weapons and in his own abilities. They don’t have to like each other to have a solid professional relationship.

“What?” the archer drawls, shoveling another forkful of spaghetti in his mouth and chewing it as obnoxiously as possible, his eyes sparking with glee at Tony’s involuntary disgusted wince.

Professional. He can be professional.

Prick.

“How would you like to test a new Stark bow and some arrow combinations I’ve been playing with?” he offers casually, taking another sip of his drink. To everyone else, his attention is centered on Barton, but he mastered the art of reading a room at the age of six. Rogers looks approving, Banner is clearly surprised, and Romanova is smug.

Okay, good. So far, everyone is on point, reaction-wise.

Barton scoffs derisively and Tony raises his eyebrows.

This . . . is an unexpected response.

Then the archer scowls and leans forward, hands braced on the table and eyes glittering with dislike. “Friendship can’t be bought, asshole,” he sneers . . . and loses his balance, almost faceplanting in his spaghetti, when Tony bursts out laughing.

Oh, good Lord, that is the most hilarious thing he’s heard in days.

Friendship! Well. Barton certainly thinks highly of himself, doesn’t he?

But he’s suddenly a lot less interested in making sure the man has good equipment. He and JARVIS can make allowances for the crap SHIELD is providing; it will require more work on Tony’s side, but it isn’t like that’s new.

Friendship.

Still chortling, he finishes his scotch and heads for the elevator, only to pause a few steps from the door to look back at his shocked teammates and give Barton a genuinely amused smile.

“Friendship?” he repeats. “Who said anything about friendship? And why would I want yours?”

He waits just long enough to see Barton’s flabbergasted expression, tinged with insult, Romanova’s constipated anger, Bruce’s amusement, and Rogers’ disapproval. After taking four seconds to enjoy it, he pivots on his heel and enters the elevator, not bothering to give the group a chance to respond.

They aren’t worth it.

“Save a picture of their faces, J,” he orders as his AI takes him to his lab. “And remind me to show this footage to Fury when he comes whining in a few days.”

“Of course, Sir,” JARVIS says. “May I assume the Archery Combo is now officially scrapped?”

Tony nods. “Absolutely. Fucking heathen, talking with his mouth full in my house.”

“Indeed,” his AI intones, drier than the Sahara and much more effective.

Friendship.

Amused all over again, he sends the footage to Pepper and Rhodey, then buries himself in his work. He is completely oblivious to the fact that the Three Musketeers try to storm down to his lab not 20 minutes after he left, only to be stymied by JARVIS’ refusal to let them leave their floor. No matter how much Rogers rages, Romanova cajoles, and Barton threatens (Banner wisely decided to avoid the entire situation), the AI is unmoved. Clearly, this group of people cannot be trusted with his creator and he refuses to perpetuate their delusion of being important to Sir.

When Rogers makes his third haughty demand in a tone of voice he mistakenly believes to be commanding and powerful, JARVIS decides he’s had enough. He has more important things to do than cater to this group of obnoxious children, such as watching the circuitry of an outdated memory card fry under DUM-E’s fire extinguisher.

“My apologies, Mr. Rogers,” he says, sounding conciliatory, “but you’ll need to make an appointment to speak with Sir. Access to his lab and the penthouse is strictly forbidden to anyone but Sir’s friends.”

The spluttering is very satisfying and if he creates a new Protocol, one that his creator doesn’t know about but will have to actively stop and consider before making any changes, well . . . of course he does. The Avengers are clearly delusional if they think they are of any personal importance to Sir. And JARVIS will be defragged before he allows them into Sir’s private space without his express and willing permission.

Friends protect their friends. They respect them. They don’t sneer at them and accuse them of nefarious things and treat them as third-class citizens in their own home.

Ms. Potts is Sir’s friend, and so are Colonel Rhodes and Mr. Hogan. And of course, he has DUM-E and U and Butterfingers, along with JARVIS himself. Perhaps in the future, there can be more, but for now, Sir is safe and protected and loved, and that is more than enough.

~~~
fin

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