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L-elf found himself standing in a middle of great hallway. All of a sudden, and out of nowhere. He wondered what kind of building this was, since he didn't recognize anything as he sorted through his filed memories inside his head. The pillars should have been in patterns, yet his brain seemed to disconnect from his eyes. He couldn't make sense of them.
This must be a dream. L-elf sighed and arranged his thoughts in neat and orderly manner. Nightmares were nothing he feared. He had trained himself to face them, and for L-elf, reality had always been more devastating. He snorted as he remembered the last time he cried for someone else's death. That was the sort of thing that no nightmare could ever invoke from him. Usually, the shock momentarily disturbed his brain until he recollected enough to intentionally bring himself out of the REM sleep. No matter how bizarre the setting was, for the soldier, it was nothing.
"Michael!"
What?
L-elf realized he had made his presumption way too quickly, because of everything, he didn't realize just how much someone's voice could shake his core like this. It cemented the fact that this was a dream, because this voice belonged to someone that he would never have been able to meet again.
Yet a strange ray of hope basked him as he flipped over to the source of light. Someone entered the building from the outside, the steps slow and grounded, never wavering in their direction towards a single destination, L-elf himself. The silver-haired man couldn't shake off the thought that knew that person. He knew that voice. But how could it be?
The man who approached him with a smile was Haruto. At least, it should be him, but the details were wrong. The build was different. This Haruto was less wimpy, and his line of sight was actually taller than L-elf. For many reasons, the soldier felt offended.
It was funny that the discrepancy was the way his brain tried to convince himself that this was not Haruto. Because for some reason, L-elf couldn't even begin to doubt it, despite the sheer impossibility. Haruto wasn't supposed to be here, especially not standing in front of him, tilting his head to the side, while looking confused.
L-elf should be the one who was confused. He opened his mouth to ask who this person was, but his thoughts stopped in their tracks when this Haruto-lookalike grabbed his shoulders. Any other day, he would have slammed the body of any living being who tried to do funny things with him, but L-elf couldn't help but to be curious. He let that man do so, suppressing his instinct to punch the hell out of him. L-elf didn't want to get hostile first either, because his days of being a soldier was long gone. Not to mention --- why was he so slow in realizing this? --- the way this man called him so familiarly. Not his code name, L-elf, but his real name, Michael. And despite their proximity, he couldn't sense any hostile intention either coming from the other man---
Suddenly, warm lips invaded his privacy. On his lips!
With an almost audible 'poof!', he felt red taking roots in his head. Did he feel embarrassment? Anger?
"What did you-- No, who are you?!" he asked, panicking. No, L-elf, you should calm down. Yes, the days of war were over, but being assaulted should warrant a self defense mechanism instead of a freaking blush, shouldn't it?! Where was his weapons now, of all days?! He should maim for that man's life!
But... but what was this sense of familiarity? He didn't feel disgusted. The warmth wasn't unwelcomed, and the tingling sensation in his lips was even, dare he say, pleasant. L-elf's purple irises wavered as he saw a flash of hurt on the Haruto-lookalike's face. Inadvertently, because that really shouldn't be what he felt in that moment, L-elf felt the pang of guilt. This man's face looked so much like Haruto in his pathetic moments that it should have been illegal!
His voice, too, was very similar, albeit possessing a deeper timbre that didn't exist before. L-elf noted in full attention as the man responded him with another question, "It's happening again, huh?"
L-elf frowned, still protected his body out of the range of the man's arms. He felt so slow in responding. Must have been because it was a dream.
"Michael, we have been lovers for three years now, did you remember that much?" Haruto-lookalike asked.
"Renbokouji's wedding was just over a month ago," L-elf said, mentioning the last big event he attended to.
"I see," Haruto's voice answered. "That far back, huh? Listen to me, Mi-- no, L-elf." He chuckled, although the smile didn't reach his eyes. Funny that L-elf could note so many details about the man and nothing of his surroundings. "It's been a while since the last time I called you with this name. Uhm, it's been a decade after that. You've been creating this wonderful country in all but name. Officially, it's called an empire with you as the emperor--"
"I knew that, I remembered founding it," L-elf cut the speech.
Haruto, at least L-elf could accept that much as a fact inside this dream, laughed sheepishly. "Yeah, yeah, I was just starting over from the beginning. Uhm, anyway, you've been working your bones for the sake of this country, day and night, without resting. Between that and the days when we were at war, you..." Haruto trailed off.
L-elf wondered what would be the ending to that sentence. He didn't have enough information to calculate his own condition at the moment. Did he go senile? Did he go through amnesic episodes? Was that why this all felt surreal? That would have been an alternative to accepting that this was a dream. But this had to be a dream, because, Haruto...
"...You're not supposed to be alive. Or this grown up."
L-elf coughed after speaking that line.
Those words were difficult to let out. Scratching his throat in a way that hurt him more than accepting the surreal situation he was in. L-elf almost hoped that this was a dream, because that fact alone already turned into a sharp thorn that burst the pretty bubble. L-elf began expecting walls broken in animation sequences as this (un)reality broke down to pieces, just like he always did when he pulled himself out of his REM sleep. He closed his eyes. It would happen anytime now.
.
.
.
...yet, it didn't.
"Huh?" L-elf looked around, blinking the confusion away. He still couldn't make sense of the building he was currently in, and the dizziness he felt started bothering his ability to process what his senses captured. "Why couldn't I return...?"
Haruto hugged him, invading his privacy for the second time. L-elf didn't mind it. Not the first time, apparently, but also not now. "Because this is real, L-elf. Michael. You must have been thinking that this is a dream, again."
"So, it's... not?" It couldn't be.
"It's not," Haruto sounded so sure, making L-elf want to believe in him.
The reassuring voice contrasted L-elf's own doubt, especially the moment that hug ended. He felt at loss, both from the confusion and the warmth he longed for.
However, in an instant, L-elf felt his hand being grasped gently. He could feel the hesitance in that act, (just like Haruto) but, soon, their fingers intertwined like lovers would be. He remembered this warmth as if he had done this a thousand times before. Yet another sense of familiarity.
From his hand, Haruto took L-elf outside of the building. L-elf let himself get carried away in that man's pace. The sun was shining bright, reflected on the surface of a sparkling blue lake. The view welcomed him first, but his legs could feel the fresh grasses around his steps as Haruto took him down the hill, onto the shore of the lake. This place was beautiful. More than he could have ever imagined. Haruto didn't say anything, only tugging him with his gestures, down on the sandy shore until he could see the ground below the shallow water surface. L-elf could think of a dozen of reasons in a second, yet none seemed to be closer to what Haruto had in mind.
Without him realizing it, he had been holding that warm hand in return.
"There's no mirror around this place, this is the fastest way to find a reflection," Haruto explained.
Lousy. "Neither of us brought electronics, I assume?"
"Hahaha! After all the hassle I went through to kidnap you away from your schedules? We can't risk them to start hounding our phones."
L-elf figured that Haruto added more details to his explanation than necessary.
"But, thank you," Haruto said, with a soft smile. "For not shrugging me away even when you didn't remember anything. Back then, and now. So, anyways, take a look! Look at the water!"
L-elf complied, forgetting the protest he originally almost let out.
He took a step closer to the dark water. The sunshine was just in the right angle to make this easier.
The L-elf that looked back at him was with longer hair, down to his shoulder. It must have been a while since he cut down the hair. His face wasn't as disciplined as before, either. There were signs of weariness under his eyes, but more than that, there were wrinkles on the edge of the same purple eyes. The wrinkles that wouldn't form if he didn't smile often.
"That's the Michael I've been with for a decade," Haruto said, his distance was just right to be close without invading L-elf's comfort zone.
L-elf raised his eyebrow.
"You said you were my lover for three years," L-elf said accusingly.
"Mm.. hahaha. I did. I mean. Not in that sense. I mean by your side? Uh..." Haruto stuttered.
"Give me the proof."
L-elf shouldn't insist that hard. He should look and process his own clues. However, he started getting desperate here.
L-elf couldn't smell the water. His ears had been really sharp, and he doubted a decade could change his senses to this extreme, where he couldn't even hear the trickle of water. When he tried to zoom in to details of the grass, there were just abstract swirls of patterns coming to his eyes. He lost the details of this reality. His head was dizzy, his throat hurt, and his heart yearned for this to be real, way more than Haruto could possibly know.
"You've been thinking of me as 'Haruto'," Haruto answered. The man with blue eyes fidgeted in embarrassment, where L-elf blinked. "Uhm, last time this happened, you told me you hadn't been calling me like that in your mind before we're together."
L-elf went silent. Since when did he do that so naturally? Did Haruto say the truth? Or was this a culmination of his wishful thinking, manifesting in the dream as some sort of messed up logical trap that he set for himself? However, in that war, all those years ago, he had really been calling Haruto as Tokishima Haruto in every single instance. When the youth was being naive, when he was being frustrating, when L-elf wanted to manipulate him, when L-elf had given himself to the kamitsuki to appease his needs of Runes, when he pulled Haruto into the foils of his plans to save Lieselotte, when he realized he began to trust that youth, when they were together inside the Valvrave, when... When the last sliver of light left Haruto's eyes, leaving them into the dullest tone of blue that L-elf had never wanted to ever see again in his entire life.
When L-elf realized that he had just lost another person that he couldn't afford to lose.
So...
"Three years...? I believe I've loved you longer than a decade," L-elf said matter-of-factly. A smirk tugged his lips up.
"Wait, huh? It's the first time I heard that! Michael, you---"
It doesn't matter if it's a dream, he thought, Haruto's words went to deaf ears as L-elf submerged himself in his mind. If this is a dream I can't wake up from, let it be.
And right after he thought of that, the world went dark.
L-elf's heartbeat went through erratic beats, but his eyes couldn't open. Why were his eyes unable to open?!
In the middle of anxiety-inducing state, he felt pleasant movement on top of his head. Someone... brushed his hair?
He cooled down in an instant, his mind floated in the midst of a gentle wave.
There was a sound of water poured before he caught a whiff of coffee scent. It sounded so normal that he suddenly had the urge to snuggle to the blanket. He bet whomever made that coffee would allow him to, as usual.
...
He wondered why he thought 'as usual' as if this was truly a normalcy. It didn't matter much, though, the scent lulled him back to sleep.
There was no one when he pulled his body up. A damp pillow sheet under his head showed that he had sweated a lot last night.
This room looked like the dorm of Sakimori high school. Eerily so. Even the placement of the furniture was the same.
There was a cup of barely steamy coffee on the table, with a plate of ham and egg. The egg was eaten half, but he thought it was originally two in the first place. How sloppy.
He began sipping the coffee. Sweet.
There was a card on the table and he reached for it.
"Good morning,
I t seems we're going to be here for a while, so I'm going for supply first. If I told the others that you had huge fever, I'm sure they'd listen and give you a week of vacation.
I made your breakfast, I hope you're well enough to eat them.
Happy Birthday, Michael."
It wasn't signed, but it didn't have to. Michael smiled, and began eating his breakfast.