Chapter Text
Seulgi feels old, but she shouldn’t say that out loud. It makes Joohyun a little self-conscious and sad, even if she hides it well. Joohyun’s not old, and neither is Seulgi, so maybe it would make more sense to say they’re older.
It’s nice – a blessing, even – to age and grow.
Her mother used to say that for women, life starts at thirty, anyway.
But Seulgi does feel older. Especially in moments like these, when it’s barely eleven but she can’t stop yawning, because Joohyun keeps yawning, which makes her yawn too.
The lights are set in a gentle, warm orange glow. It’s a slow day and they spent it carelessly; like it’s a given to have more days like these, like it’s certain.
She yawns again, laughing a little when Joohyun snorts amusedly. “Hey, don’t laugh, you’re sleepy too.”
“I’m not that sleepy,” though the reply is interrupted by a yawn of her own. “Being around you makes me feel dozy sometimes, I swear.”
“Me too,” Seulgi grins, hopping on the counter and watching Joohyun dry her wet hair with a light pink towel that she gifted her sometime around their debut as a subunit. It has a small Irene embroidered in a corner; one she spent around a week trying to sew. “I heard it’s because partners calm each other’s nervous systems, or something like that. I’m not sure.”
Joohyun laughs again, small and mindless. “That’s not good. How am I supposed to be productive in life, if I’m to spend the rest of it with you?”
A warmth fills Seulgi’s chest, and if she blushes it’s really, really not her fault. She leans back against the mirror and closes her eyes briefly. “Sorry. But I promise a lifetime supply of caffeine.”
The apartment is quiet tonight, quiet enough that she can hear Joohyun’s small sighs and sounds. Summer’s good, it forces them to slow down occasionally and enjoy each other. Many of the best memories she owns include Joohyun, the sun, and peach iced tea.
“Like I’d have it any other way, my love,” Joohyun affectionately rolls her eyes.
Seulgi knows that without having to look. Joohyun’s voice is light and sure in a way that’s probably making her blush harder. She blames it on the warmth filling the bathroom from their accidentally-too-long shower.
She feels sleep calling for her.
“Are you not dressing up and drying your hair before bed?”
“I am. I’m just…,” Seulgi breaths in and opens her eyes to find Joohyun watching her fondly. She grins sleepily. “I’m just looking for the motivation to exist, hold on.”
Joohyun rolls her eyes again, but her smile is loving and kind. She walks to Seulgi and settles between her thighs. Her hands settle on the bare skin of her knees, and they’re cool and soft. “You’re such a baby, you know that?”
Seulgi knows. “Your baby.”
They’re older, yeah. There were times when they couldn’t be this close, even if they were always a little bit in love. Well, Seulgi at least has always been a little bit in love with her. It’s nice to see Joohyun so free. She laughs more, now, louder and Seulgi hopes they’re together long enough that she sees laugh marks on her face.
Seulgi hopes for a lot of things, actually: a pet puppy they’ll name Reve, a bigger house where Joohyun has a room with a desk on which she can write more, photo albums filled with family and chosen family, arguments about which movie to play tonight, and maybe two rings, too.
“You’re thoughtful, tonight.” Joohyun reaches for a dry towel and doesn’t demand answers but she says it like she’s reminding her she can share. If she wants to. “Wistful, too,” she adds, an afterthought. She starts drying her girlfriend’s hair, her movements almost reverent.
Oh, Seulgi thinks, that feels so nice. She hopes for a lot of things, but one thing especially : that Joohyun always, always, always gets the happiness she so deserves.
“I think I want to stay in love with you,” she says, laughing a little, because there should be other ways to say it. Something more precious that means what she wants to mean, that encompasses what she feels and thinks. “I don’t understand how I get to have this: you, here, now, with me. And I also don’t think I’d understand if things were not like this either. I am in love with you, and I’d like to grow old with you.”
Joohyun pauses from drying her hair and meets her eyes. “I am in love with you, too.” She reaches for Seulgi’s jaw, thumb caressing the pinkish skin of her cheek. “I think I could easily be in any other life, too.”
She leans forward and Seulgi meets her halfway, because Seulgi will forever try to meet her halfway and farther if she’s tired. Joohyun’s forehead is warm against her forehead, her breath a little shaky. Seulgi reaches for her and her legs naturally wrap around her waist to pull her closer.
Their lips are slow when they meet. Sweet and careful, not a first kiss but it feels just like it. Seulgi can’t help but burry a hand in Joohyun’s hair, even if she feels her bathrobe slipping over her shoulder, even if it draws a small gasp from Joohyun.
They stop for a shuddering breath.
“I am growing old with you,” Joohyun murmurs against her jaw, “can’t you see?”
Seulgi closes her eyes, sighing. “Will you stay with me, then? Will you always try to stay, unnie?”
“Yes,” Joohyun says, a hand caressing up Seulgi’s stomach, and she almost begs her to believe her. “Yes, baby. Yeah.”
They don’t kiss again, but Seulgi can’t bring herself to lean back. Joohyun’s warmth is something she craves all the time, all the time. It’s addictive in its comfort, healing in its tenderness and Seulgi thinks no poet knew love if no one loved them like Joohyun loves.
Seulgi opens her eyes and finally kisses Joohyun’s forehead. “You know,” she whispers, her voice cracking. She leans back to smile at her girlfriend. “I promise you that I’ll choose you every day of my life, even on days we make each other’s lives difficult. Especially then.”
Joohyun bites her lower lip. “You’re so perfect,” she says, finally, brushing hair from Seulgi’s face. “I choose you too, every day.” A pause. “I want you to have no doubt about that.”
“Then you’re gonna have to remind me often.” Seulgi feels like her heart might burst. She kisses her again, gently. “Preferably with kisses,” she jokes and feels happy it draws a small laugh from Joohyun. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
They get to bed a few minutes later, Seulgi still in her bathrobe, Joohyun still chastising her to dress up. They settle against one another in the small bed, close enough that their voices carry even in whispers and sleep draws them in even as they fight it, yawns punctuating mindless musings.
Well, if Joohyun’s going to stay forever, Seulgi’s going to need a bigger bed.