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Robin could not stop thinking about those four words.
After the incident in the graveyard, the four had walked back to the girls’ dorms, at first quietly, but the air soon cleared up to allow small talk and eventually the usual joking around. Robin was sure they would remember the somber moment more in the morning, but right now, the intoxicated nature of their minds didn’t let them linger on such sad thoughts.
After dropping the girls off, Robin and Ramy attempted to appear as sober as they could on the walk to their own dorms. Now and then, one of them would stumble, and the other would grab their arm to steady them. Then the two of them would make eye contact and fall into a round of giggles while frantically shushing each other unsuccessfully. Finally, the duo made it back to the dorm, immediately dropping their facade and beginning to whisper and laugh softly on their way to their doors.
Which is now where Robin stood, leaning against the wall next to Ramy’s door, unable to get the words out of his head as the other boy struggled with the keys.
Don’t you know why? Don't you know why? Don’t you know why? Don’t y-
“Robin!” Ramy hissed, “Look, I did it.” His mouth crooked up into a charming but slightly loopy smile.
Robin turned to see that Ramy had indeed successfully opened the door and was holding it open for the two of them. Momentarily distracted, Robin shuffled into the room, starting to laugh again as Ramy almost tripped while closing the door.
“You’re so clumsy while drunk it’s astonishing.” Robin huffed out.
“Part of my charm.” Ramy’s grin grew as he flopped onto his bed face-first with his shoes kicked off somewhere in the room.
Robin was able to kick his shoes off with minimal fumbling before sitting on the bed next to Ramy and letting out a sigh.
“What an eventful night,” he said through his sigh.
“Tell me about it.” Ramy mumbled into the comforter, “Where’d you disappear to for a bit?”
Robin hesitated for a bit, not sure how Ramy would receive the topic for the second time, before finally deciding to just tell him. “Letty was crying. Over you.”
The other boy was silent for a beat before replying with a tone of something that Robin could only place as resignation.
“Was she? I don’t understand why she insists on her feelings. I've told her many times I’m not interested. It would break her heart less if she just accepted that.”
Robin let out a small groan and lay down on the bed. “Good thing you weren’t the one consoling her, I guarantee that is not what she wanted to hear. I don’t think it’s that simple, love, that is. I don’t think you can just stop it.”
“You don’t think?” Ramy questioned.
“Well, I certainly don’t know, can’t say I’ve ever felt that way…” he paused for a moment, debating whether to finish his thought, but the alcohol in his system chose for him. “...for a girl that is.”
Immediately after saying the words, he froze and cursed his addled mind. How stupid was he to say that? Even if Ramy didn’t catch his true meaning, it still was not normal for a boy his age to have never liked a girl.
Ramy seemed to freeze, too, not saying anything in response. Robin, scared for his reaction, turned towards his friend only to find the other boy propped up on one elbow and already looking at him. The two stayed like that for a moment, neither daring to speak before Robin finally asked the question that had been gnawing at his mind for hours.
“What did you mean, earlier?” He swallowed, watching Ramy trace his face with his eyes. “You said, ‘Don’t you know why?’. What did you mean?”
Ramy pressed his lips together before replying, “I think you know what I meant.”
Robin shook his head softly and said, “I want to hear you say it.”
“How about I show you instead?”
The next thing Robin knew, there was a soft press of lips against his, only for a moment, though, before they quickly retreated, and Robin was met with the face of his best friend staring at him nervously. He wasted no time grabbing the collar of Ramy’s shirt with one hand and lurching upwards to connect their lips again. Ramy let out a small noise of surprise before relaxing and kissing Robin back.
Ramy’s lips were slightly chapped, but even so, Robin couldn't get enough of how they glided against his in perfect tandem. Robin’s other arm looped around Ramy’s waist and pulled the other boy till he lay on top of Robin, slotting their bodies together as they continued to kiss.
Later, Robin would blush and blame his boldness on the liquor, while Ramy would laugh and sling an arm around his shoulder and plant a kiss on his cheek. For now, though, Robin appreciated the feeling of Ramy. His lips against his, briefly pulling away to catch their breath before diving back in just as eagerly. His arms, one propped up next to Robin’s head so he wasn’t completely crushed, and the other that had slid into Robin’s hair and was now entangled with the short strands. His noises, the small sighs and groans he let out as the two kissed. He wasn’t sure if the warmth in his body was from Ramy’s body pressing into him or the alcohol still running through his system, likely a combination of both.
At some point, Ramy pulled away from Robin, the latter letting out a groan at the motion. Ramy laughs softly and places a peck on his lips.
“I think that should answer your question,” Ramy said, the same cocky grin from before spreading across his face.
Robin huffed and shoved a hand against his chest, “Don’t be an ass, you-” but before he could finish his sentence, a yawn slipped out of his mouth. The two paused before devolving into laughter again, with Ramy burying his face in the crook of Robin’s neck to stifile the noise.
When the laughter died down again, Robin spoke.
“We should talk about this,” he made a vague gesture between the two of them. He thinks if he had been more clear-headed headed his mind would have been racing with anxieties, but right now he could only think of how tired he was, and how Ramy made an excellent blanket.
Ramy hummed into his neck, “Probably, but I think that can wait till the morning.”
Robin let out a sigh, wrapped his arms around the other boy, and buried his face in his hair.
“I suppose so.”
The morning would likely bring many discussions, what their new relationship would be, what to do about Letty, and maybe one of them would tell the other about the secret society they had found themselves in the middle of. For now, the sounds of each other breathing lulled them into sleep.