Chapter Text
AITA for trying to stab my nemesis but accidentally ending up… in a situationship??
Posted by u/BusterWolf89
So uh. Title. Long story short: I (24M) was supposed to be fighting my nemesis (?? immortal war criminal?? long silver hair?? IDK his exact job description). Instead of killing him like a normal hero, I may have… somehow??? …ended up crashing at his place and eating his stupid fancy fruit.
Anyway. Tonight I was supposed to stab him (again). He smirked at me, said some cryptic stuff like “Your hatred only binds you closer to me,” and next thing I know, my sword is on the ground, he’s standing way too close, and I think I blacked out??
Now he keeps making me tea and telling me to “calm my turbulent spirit.” He also keeps calling me “puppy,” which is—what the actual hell.
AITA for not stabbing him?? Am I the asshole for accidentally maybe…kinda…dating my nemesis?
96.9k upvotes
-------
Top Comments
[deleted] · 15.2k upvotes
Bro this isn’t AITA, this is r/relationship_advice. You’re literally enemies to lovers. Just kiss him already.
u/BigSwordEnthusiast · 9.8k upvotes
NAH. But like. Did you at least try stabbing him first? Or did you drop your sword because he smirked? Be honest.
u/SephirothProbably · 8.7k upvotes
Imagine being so weak-willed you can’t hold onto a sword when someone looks at you. Couldn’t be me.
u/Materiacrackhead · 7.4k upvotes
INFO: Did he make you the good tea or the “I put mako in this and now you hallucinate destiny” tea? It matters.
u/Tifa4Life · 6.9k upvotes
OP I swear to god. You promised you’d handle this. Next thing we know you’re writing a “my enemy is kinda hot???” post on Reddit.
u/BarretWith2Rs · 6.2k upvotes
YTA. To yourself. Stab him next time or I’ll do it for you.
u/AerisGarden · 5.7k upvotes
Soft YTA. But also… enemies-to-lovers is peak romance. Don’t waste this.
u/CloudsLeftSock · 4.9k upvotes
Kinda wild how OP glossed over “he was standing way too close.” Sir. SIR. You dropped your sword because you were flustered.
u/FanficWriter420 · 4.3k upvotes
Bro this is literally my fic. Like word for word. Are you stealing from me?
u/ChocoboMom · 3.7k upvotes
Honey, no. He’s toxic. Don’t date him. Do you want your children to inherit villain monologues??
u/DefinitelyNotSeph · 3.1k upvotes
He’s fine. You’re overreacting. He makes excellent tea.
u/ModsAreAsleepPostPuppies · 2.8k upvotes
This isn’t even AITA, this is r/AmIInLove.
---
EDIT 1 (2 hours later):
Okay, so. I tried leaving. Packed my sword, said “I’m done,” etc. He just… followed me??? Like, full-on shadow teleporting after me through the streets.
Every time I stopped walking, he’d stop too. When I asked what the hell he was doing, he said:
“Ensuring my puppy doesn’t get lost.”
This man has zero shame. Zero.
---
u/loverboyLucifer · 8.1k upvotes
Bro you’re not in a duel. You’re in a leash kink.
u/TherapistNeeded · 6.6k upvotes
You need couples therapy. Immediately.
u/SleepyMoogle · 5.9k upvotes
> “Ensuring my puppy doesn’t get lost.”
Okay but that’s kinda hot tho.
u/DefinitelyNotSeph (again) · 5.3k upvotes
It was practical. He does get lost.
u/BusterWolf89 (OP) · 4.9k upvotes
STOP COMMENTING HERE
---
EDIT 2 (next morning):
He made me breakfast. Who the hell makes fluffy pancakes after attempted murder??
Also, he stole my phone while I was in the shower and followed my Reddit account?? If you see a user called u/DefinitelyNotSeph, that’s him. Don’t listen to anything he says.
------
u/CloudsOtherSock · 10.2k upvotes
Confirmed: OP is whipped. He’s not fighting anymore. He’s eating pancakes.
u/CidButAngry · 8.7k upvotes
Bro just stab him at brunch. Classic misdirection.
u/YuffieNinjaQueen · 7.2k upvotes
Nah, keep him. He sounds rich. Does he buy you things?
u/DefinitelyNotSeph · 6.4k upvotes
Yes.
u/BusterWolf89 (OP) · 5.8k upvotes
STOP REPLYING TO PEOPLE ON MY POST.
----
EDIT 3 (final update):
Okay. I might have kissed him.
ONCE.
It was a tactical kiss. Don’t read into it.
Anyway, we’re going on a “mission” later (he called it a date, I did not). Verdict: I guess I’m not the asshole, but I am maybe doomed??
---
u/RedditJudge · 15.4k upvotes
Verdict: NAH. You’re not an asshole. You’re just in love.
u/DefinitelyNotSeph · 14.9k upvotes
Confirmed.
------
u/Moderator · 20.2k upvotes
Locked due to excessive thirst in the comments.