Archive of Our Own ^beta

everything was fine at the moment, the members all laughing as they approached their hotel rooms.

really, shuaibo basically forgot about anything he was stressed over, giggling when woongki slapped his arm from juwon's joke. a normal busy day as kpop artists working hard to succeed and thrive. then that's when shuaibo hears it.

he shouldn't even be affected by this sentence but he was. it made the hair on his arms stand up every time. his mood goes blank, lips pressing into a thin line once the smile leaves his face, eyes diverting elsewhere from the members.

"so han, chih en, and shuaibo will share a room. shuaibo, you lucky tall boy, you get your own bed." steven announced after the pairing had aired, sighing with hopes that one day he could have his own bed. shuaibo nodded, forcing a small smile as the members complained about how tall he is, wishing they could get their own bed.

shuaibo knew he should be happy about this, having his own space with no one to trespass his side. yet he can't. not when he sees the way all the members cuddle with each other, the ability for them to look smaller in each other's holds. how they had the option to be held or do the holding, no worries of being too tall or bigger in their arms or carried on their backs. just perfect and comfortable.

shuaibo hated it. he wanted to be held so badly, to be their height and size just to feel what it's like to be held. not having to worry about being too awkward or heavy on their backs, always doing the carrying for the sake of the members. he so badly wanted to be like them, any of them. it hurts more when the members complain about not being tall, because shuaibo really wonders if they did. but again, it wasn't like they had the same desire to be held the way shuaibo wanted.

surely it wouldn't be a problem if they were all shuaibo's height, but they aren't. shuaibo doesn't know how much longer he can handle all this, especially when juwon jumped on jeongwoo's back and pointed their way to their hotel room, woongki and daisuke following behind. how he yearned to be able to do that without a second thought. he watched as steven and jl went into their room, where they had to share a singular bed.

he didn't realize he had zoned out until chih en tapped his shoulder, making shuaibo flinch.

"you okay hyung?" chih en questioned with a concerned look, glancing at han. shuaibo managed to let a small smile out, gulping heavily when han stared at him a little too hard.

"oh yeah, i'm good! just zoned out a bit." shuaibo answered with a forced giggle, relieved when both chih en and han nodded.

"okay. let's get to our room, i'm hungry." han said, leading their way to their room, making shuaibo and chih en smile.

"you're always hungry." chih en added, shuaibo chuckling as they began making their way to their room. however shuaibo couldn't get the look from han out of his head, unable to shake away the feeling han read into him a little too much. he brushed it off as nothing for now, wanting to focus his time on his roommate for the night.

-

hours went by with them all eating in steven's and jl's room while playing some games. midnight was approaching and the members decided to end the night despite woongki complaints on continuing, ignoring his little dance to convince them to stay longer.

once the trio reached their room, they quickly got ready for bed. shuaibo went last, getting out of the bathroom and turning off the light after he was all clean for bed. it didn't take long for shuaibo to notice the room was quieter, no sound of phone playing or chatting. shuaibo suspected they had fallen asleep, walking past chih en's and han's bed but halfway through, he froze.

shuaibo gaze lingered on the duo, his legs stiffened as his mind jumped all over the place. this was the last thing he needed at the moment, biting his lower lip as he stared longing at their position. han was flat on his back at the right side of the bed, while chih en was laying on his stomach, slightly invading han's side. han had his right arm out with chih en's neck pressed on top of it, chih en's right arm comfortably on han's chest with a leg fairly hooked on han's legs.

they look so...warm. safe. comfortable.

it was almost as if they were meant to be in each other's arms. everything shuaibo wished for. the way han managed to make chih en appear smaller despite their similar height, how chih en cuddled into him easily. shuaibo hated how jealous he was right now, body and mind yearning to be held like that.

it simply wasn't fair.

a couple of tears rolled down shuaibo's cheeks, snapping him out of his thoughts. shuaibo hurriedly wiped his tears, heading back to his bed as he reminded himself to suck it up. but this time it didn't work the way it typically did, his tears flowing endlessly and his lips quivering.

he won't, he can't.

he didn't have time to cry, especially in the room where his members laid besides him. except they weren't besides him, they were in a separate bed so shuaibo had more space. shuaibo didn't want extra space, he didn't want the emptiness that laid next to him. it hurt so much knowing he can't be in the same bed as his members, nonetheless cuddle them and be held.

shuaibo knew he couldn't ask them to hold him because he knew what their thoughts would be and how they would react. they would be confused, wondering why shuaibo would want such thing. he didn't have to ask, he knew. the tears came continuously, shuaibo unable to hold back his sobs as he pulled his knees up to his chest.

he needed to stop. he couldn't risk them hearing him but his chest aches, everything he had bottled up about this seeping through every inch of his skin. his body shuddered from the amount of emotions, wondering why out of all time, it had to happen now. shuaibo shut his eyes, wishing he could shut everything all out, just shrink to their size so he could be normal, feel normal.

suddenly, shuaibo could feel a light dip in the bed. his figure went rock hard. breathing swallowed. emotions bubbling in his throat. his fingers clenched the sheets tighter when a hand rested on shoulder over the cover, then a low voice gently called his name, lingers of worry and concern sticking to his words. shuaibo knew who it was, the sweetness yet smoothness of his voice hit shuaibo.

"hyung?"

it was han.

shuaibo attempted to subtly wipe his tears with the back of his palm, turning to see han looking at him. shuaibo locked eyes with han, noticing han's eyebrows smoothing out as he examined his face, realization dawning on him.

shuaibo should've known, even despite the lack of light, the night light shined enough for han to see him enough. it made shuaibo wonder what he looked like based on how han observed his face, eyes pooling with concern. if he could guess, his face was most likely bright pink, eyes sunken with wet lashes batting against his cheeks, quivering red lips with saliva coated. he wanted to hide, tell han he was fine and to not worry. yet he knew that wasn't possible, sniffling as he continued to gaze into han's eyes.

a part of him begged to let it out, spill everything to han. he battled against whether he should tell him or not, afraid of burdening the younger with his useless insecurities and jealousy. however when han's hand cupped his warm, tear-stained cheek, skin cold against shuaibo's, a sudden wave hit him hard.

shuaibo really tried to stop it but it was endless. han noticed his attempt, hands retracting, only to clutch at shuaibo's arms and pull him into a hug from where he was sitting. shuaibo didn't fight it, falling limp into han's body as his forehead pressed into han's shoulder. he could feel han's arms tighten around his waist, tugging him closer.

"let it out, i'm right here." han whispered.
han cradled shuaibo's head into him as the older drenched his shirt with salty tears, muffling his sobs so chih en wouldn't wake up. his body shook against han's yet han remained stable, even ignoring when shuaibo's hands gripped the back of his shirt, nails piercing into his skin. it didn't bother him, mostly focusing on calming his hyung as much as possible. his other hand drew circles at shuaibo's lower back, keeping him supported even when the position was slightly uncomfortable.

as the minutes goes by, shuaibo's cries softened before he went quiet, regulating his own breathing. han stayed silent, giving shuaibo just what he needed at this moment. his hand carded through his long locks, a silent but gentle reminder that han was here. shuaibo didn't move either.

it wasn't because he couldn't face han after his breakdown or how he didn't want han to look at his crying face. it was because he was gonna miss the warmth he felt at this moment, spending a little more time to soak in all of han's embrace.

however when han leaned back, forcing shuaibo to pull back, shuaibo couldn't help but whimper. not loud enough for han to hear but enough for shuaibo to feel. if only they could stay just a little longer like that.

"hyung, can you tell me what happened?" han asked as his hands lingered at shuaibo's hip, hoping the older would look him in the eyes. shuaibo avoided han's stare, sniffling as he contemplated, biting the inside of his cheek with uncertainty.

"it...it's embarrassing and stupid." shuaibo muttered, fumbling with his hands in his lap.

"it can't be stupid if it has you crying like this." han mentioned, causing shuaibo breathe to hitch at the comment.

he's right. han is always right.

"shuaibo...i won't force you to tell me, but i want you to know that i'm always here. i don't know what is going on but i don't like how it's making you cry like this. if you want me to just listen, i can do that. i need you to know i would never judge you, no matter what." han stated as his hands find their way into shuaibo's, holding the shaking hands firmly. that was all shuaibo needed.

"i hate being tall." shuaibo blurted, catching han off guard but he didn't say anything like he promised. shuaibo was grateful for that.

"i mean, i hate being the only tall one in the group. everyone is near the same height yet i'm over here standing a couple inches taller than you guys. i know you guys want to be my height and i understand but at the same time, i don't. i would rather be the same height as you guys than be taller. the main reason is because-i want to be held. not just once, but over and over again. i see you guys always carrying each other on your backs without a thought, no worries if you are too big or too tall to be carried. yet i have to. and-and when you guys pick who is sharing beds, i'm always the one who gets left alone. 'yay me, i get more space and the entire bed to myself.' i hate it. i can't stand it because i know that in the bed next to me, two of you guys are cuddling. i never get that opportunity and when i do, i'm always doing the holding. the best thing about it is that you guys can change positions because it's that easy. you both can fit into each other comfortably, no long legs in the way or anything like that. i have to worry about that. and... i don't want to be the one doing the holding as selfish as that sounds. i want to be held, have someone cuddle me like i am smaller than them." shuaibo ranted like he never did before, finally lifting his gaze to meet han whose eyes had been burning into head.

"it's all i want." shuaibo ended, words full of desperation and longing. shuaibo couldn't read han's expression, no longer able to see what was swirling in his brown orbs. he wasn't sure what he wanted han to do, to say anything or nothing at all.

it wasn't until han unexpectedly pushed the covers from under him down to the foot of the bed, laying down on his back in the middle of the bed as he got comfortable. once he was done, he turned to shuaibo with open arms. shuaibo stared at him puzzled, wondering if han was doing what he was thinking. he didn't want to get his hopes high up, butt glued to the bed as he continued to watch han.

"come here," han said softly, patting his shoulder as a direction for where shuaibo to go. shuaibo blinked before it finally clicked to him, immediately moving from his spot and climbed towards han. shuaibo stopped once he was right next to han's side, hands and knees holding his body, unsure on how exactly he should lay down.

he didn't want to cross any lines or make han feel uncomfortable if he had put too much pressure on one spot. han noticed and was quick to help him. "here, come on top of me." shuaibo listened carefully to han's instructions, staring down at the younger.

"scoot down until you head is directly above my shoulder." han said, helping shuaibo maneuver his body. "now lower your body on mine." han finalized, catching the worries in shuaibo's eyes, sighing.

"your not heavy or too tall to be held, okay? i will let you know if anything is uncomfortable if that's what you're worried about." han added, watching shuaibo nod hesitantly. "lastly, do whatever you like. i don't care where you grab or touch or hide. whatever makes you feel comfortable and smaller, alright?"
shuaibo exhaled after han's words, his worries and relief fleeing with his sigh.

"okay." shuaibo managed to let out an answer, finally pressing his body on top of han's.

at first, shuaibo didn't know what to do but he knew he needed to fix his position. his head was resting on han's left shoulder but he wanted to be closer to han, slowly inching his head between han's neck and shoulder. he already felt better, body relaxing as he draped his left leg over han's hip. shuaibo's right arm hugged from underneath han's left shoulder while his left arm sat on han's chest, his hand softly gripping his shoulder. shuaibo felt at peace for the first in forever, actually feeling small in han's embrace despite their height difference.

it made him smile, a tear of joy slipping down his cheek. he was so happy and content, snuggling closer to han as if there was any space between them to begin with. once han noticed that shuaibo had gotten comfortable, he wrapped his arms around his waist, giving him a small squeeze as he fixed his legs more comfortably.

"all good?" han asked, feeling shuaibo's smile pressing into the junction of his neck.

"y-yes, thank you hani." shuaibo whispered, revealing his face from han's neck and giving him a peck to his cheek. he quickly nuzzled back into the safety of his neck, feeling han throat jiggle lightly from his giggle at shuaibo's act.

"of course," han said as he nuzzled his head gently against shuaibo's, "let's go to sleep now." han whispered, a hand rubbing shuaibo's back as he closed his eyes. shuaibo rested his eyes, enjoying everything he was feeling and the touches han was giving him. he was so grateful for the younger, no judgement or anything from him besides his comfort.

shuaibo couldn't be any more happy, excited to be able to cuddle one of his members to sleep. the best part was that he was being held. it made him forget that he was still taller because he felt smaller for once. he never thought he would ever feel small, tiny but protected in the arms of his member. his wishes finally came to light, curling into han as another thank you and to curve his excitement of being held.

he couldn't get enough, skin yearning to feel han's, temptation of ripping their clothes off just to be closer to him. although han gave him the freedom to do anything, shuaibo knew that doing this could cross some lines han may not be comfortable with. right now, he was grateful for what he has and maybe another time he could give into such temptation. he pushed aside any thoughts, eyes slowly blinking as he smacked his lips. his face was perfectly aligned with han's neck, the warmth of skin acting as serotonin for shuaibo. 'i will never forget this, ever' shuaibo thought lastly before his eyes finally gave into sleep.

-

han wasn't sure when he fell asleep before he was met with a figure staring at him, a hand barely clutching his bicep.

han forced his eyes to stay open as he groaned fairly, his gaze glancing around his area merely to realize another body was on his. memories of last night flashed in han's eyes, his arms instinctively squeezing the body closer to him. he could feel shuaibo breathing against his neck, staring at the older for a moment before turning his gaze back at the figure.

"chih en?" han whispered, voice groggy upon being woken up from his deep slumber.

"why did you leave? i woke up and you weren't there." chih en voiced with confusion, a faint hint of hurt roaming in his tone. han could hear it and fairly see it in chih en's expression, a subtle sulking face that made han fear chih en would get the wrong idea. han pulled his right arm away from shuaibo's waist, his hand grabbing chih en wrist while his thumb rubbed his skin gently.

"shuaibo needed some comfort last night so that's why i'm here." han answered, his vision finally clear enough to see chih en face properly and he was glad to see that all of his doubts had washed away.

"oh okay, what happened?"

han's gaze averted for a moment, not exactly wanting to tell chih en what happened. he didn't feel like it was his place and shuaibo clearly struggled telling any of them about this so han was gonna keep it a secret until shuaibo does so.

"i can't tell you, shuaibo has to be the one. but don't worry, everything all good." chih en nodded once more, staring at shuaibo and han cuddling. he wanted to join them, knowing he may struggle falling back to sleep without another body next to him. i guess this is what happens when you spend so much time sharing bed with your members, you start to get used to and slowly become unable to sleep on your own.

"get in." han said, catching chih en off guard as han tugged the cover and sheets over his body, right arm open. chih en wanted to ask how han could have possibly known what he was thinking but chih en already knew the answer. han had always been the observant type and strangely great at reading everyone. chih en doesn't know if that was a good or bad thing for him.

regardless, he got in with no questions, being extra careful to not wake up shuaibo. since the older took up most of the space, which chih en didn't mind, he faced away from the duo on his side, back pressing into han's side. chih en's head rested on the pillow above han's arm, his neck pressing into han's bicep as he bent han's elbow so he could cuddle his forearm and hand to his chest. chih en sighed out in relief once situated, mumbling a 'thank you' to han who patted his upper abdomen as a 'your welcome'.

as chih en fell asleep, han wasn't far behind, grateful that he sleeps on his back because if he couldn't, he would not be able to fall asleep in this situation. before he knew it, his eyes screwed shut for the second time.

-

morning came too soon for shuaibo liking, leaning into han's body in hope he could just glue himself to han forever. he didn't have plan leaving this anytime soon, not when he still felt small and cared for. he didn't even want to move his face away from han's neck, enjoying the warmth and the sense of security he he felt.

however something felt off, the dip in the bed bigger despite barely even being on the bed. he decided to brush it off and enjoy his time in han's arms until he felt some shifting against the bed. shuaibo knew it wasn't han since he would have felt it, realizing that someone must be in bed with them. shuaibo struggled with staying put or checking who it was, realizing that it had to be chih en since he was the only one in the room. but just to be sure, shuaibo lifted his head and looked over, seeing black fluffy hair plastered across han's shoulder. it was indeed chih en.

shuaibo wondered how he got here because it seemed han had made some space for chih en. he wasn't jealous or any, genuinely curious what happened. did chih en join them in the middle of the night? did he wake up han as well? did han tell him what happened last night? shuaibo should have guessed what would happen next when he suddenly heard his name in his ear.

he flinched hard, a small screech fleeing his lips as he turned to han. shuaibo sighed in relief but didn't hesitate to slap han's on the shoulder, seeing han smile at successfully scaring him.

"you seriously need to stop that before i get a heart attack and you have to take me to the hospital." shuaibo pants softly, leaning his forehead on han's shoulder.

"well you need to stop getting lost in that crazy mind of yours." han teased as his left hand reached shuaibo's head, tapping it with his words before threading it through his fingers.

it was quiet for a moment, shuaibo taking in the feeling of han's long fingers brushing through his curls. "chih en woke me up last night, asking me why i wasn't in bed with him. i told him that you needed some comfort and he wanted to know what happened but i didn't tell him. then he came into bed because it was clear he wanted to join us." han explained just as shuaibo expected, humming.

han read him like an open book. it was almost useless trying to hide any thoughts from han because he caught it every single time without failure. and again, he was always right.

"he seemed worried, you should tell him. well, not just him but all of them." shuaibo gulped at han's response. "you don't have to tell them right now or even this week but soon. i'm sure they would want you to tell them if they are upsetting you by saying things that hurt you. i'll be right next to you through it all if you want me to. and...you deserve to be held and cared for shuaibo. neither your height or size should determine if you can or not. i will hold you as much as you want me to, all you gotta do is tell me. the members would say the same things too." han voiced with such care and love that shuaibo teared up at his comment, feeling overwhelmed.

han really knows how to get him. just saying the right things and picking at bits and pieces of him so gently, shuaibo could just kiss him. maybe he will if he keeps this up. shuaibo finally lifted his head off han's shoulder to meet his gaze, trying to prevent any tears from pouring past his already welled tears eyes. han's face softened at shuaibo's appearance, removing his hand off shuaibo's waist and placing it on his cheek.

shuaibo couldn't help but melt into his palm, the contact so sweet that a single tear slid down his face upon closing his eyes. han's thumb softly wipping it away before caressing his soft cheek. han just gaze at shuaibo lovingly, appreciating shuaibo's bravery to let him break down his walls and help him. it hurt han to see him struggling with this, how he believed it was pathetic despite how much it hurt him. han didn't want shuaibo, or any of his member, to deal with something like this on their own, especially if it has something to do with them. they, even himself, all needed to know they are here for each other through ups and downs, no matter how stupid it is.

when shuaibo opened his eyes again, han let his lips curl up into a smile to which shuaibo giggled. "i'm gonna kiss you if you keep this up." shuaibo announced, observing the way han's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"why not do it now?" han challenged, the blood rushing to shuaibo's cheeks as he shyly wiggled his against han's body. it didn't help when han's smile grew, clearly glad he got shuaibo flustered that shuaibo couldn't let han win. it wasn't even a competition but shuaibo wanted to get han back to the point his mind went blank and his heart did what it desired.

just like that, he leaned in. when his lips met han's, a wave of tingle shot down his spine and his mind melted. all he could think about was how soft han's felt against his own, even despite his lips being on the thinner side. he really should wake up, snapped out of it but he couldn't. his body itched for more, begging. he really couldn't stop his lips from leaning in more, flesh gently sucking at han's.

his legs shook when han finally responded back, lips moving against his in a slow, tender flow. butterflies erupted in his stomach, falling deeper into the intimate kiss to the point he couldn't think, even if he wanted to. he was lost, entranced and dazed by his own fleshly desire. so much to the point he couldn't care less that his bandmate laid right besides them, still sleeping on han's right arm.

when han's hand clamps his nape, tugging him deeper, shuaibo body reacted hastily and pressed further into han's body. he knew it was to search for more contact, to feel the heat of his skin against his own, touch whatever he could. his shaky hands ran through han's fresh hair, something to support himself because he didn't think he could hold on much longer. not when han kissed him like he meant it, like he was all shuaibo needed. that thought alone made shuaibo want to dissolve into a puddle, so turned on that the heat cursed throughout his body like a wildfire.

he wanted more. needed more.

just before shuaibo could move to the next level, lips beginning to part, they both felt a shift beside them. they faltered, bodies on high alert, staring at each other with wide eyes and red, slicked lips. they waited it out, watching chih en out of the corner of their eyes and as the time passed with chih en stilled, he suddenly moved again. this time, he yawned and his arms began to fumble around han's forearm.

shuaibo has never moved so fast then he did now, rolling off han's body without a second thought and staring up at the ceiling. shuaibo tried to keep his gaze up but he couldn't help but watch them out of his peripheral vision, noticing han squeezing his eyes as if he was trying to remind himself of something. chih en turned around abruptly as he plopped his upper body on his elbows, glancing at shuaibo and han.

"good morning," han greeted him with a smile, laughing at chih en disheveled hair. chih en pressed his lips together, pushing han's hand away from patting his crazy morning hair. shuaibo was shocked by how fast han recovered from their kiss, almost as if it didn't happen. shuaibo was barely holding it together. he could still feel han's lips on his own, the lingering imprint of his hand on his neck, the burning heat between their body. shuaibo wondered how han could pretend nothing happened.

"hyung, you alive?" chih en asked, snapping shuaibo out of his thoughts once again. "huh, what?" shuaibo batted his eyelashes, turning to chih en. shuaibo could feel han staring at him but his gaze felt heavier that when shuaibo glanced at him, he immediately understood his message.

"jeez hyung, you have been dozing off so much lately. i asked if you were okay, you were just staring at the ceiling." chih en repeated. shuaibo quickly fixed himself up, smiling.

"yeah, i'm okay."

"what are you thinking about?" chih en asked and shuaibo knew he needed to make up a lie on the spot. "i'm just thinking about the group, you know, how grateful i am to have you guys and that i'm actually in a group. it's still bizarre to me that i'm here." shuaibo explained as naturally as he could, glad to see chih en doubts slip off his face.

"oh, yeah it's still a little crazy at times but try not to zone out as much, it's hard to get your attention." chih en pointed out, shuaibo nodding. "i can work on that." just like that, chih en didn't seem to suspect anything else and stood up.

"i'm gonna go get ready if you guys don't mind." chih en announced, walking to his bag to grab his toiletries.

"that's fine, just try to go fast." han responded, chuckling when chih en rolled his eyes at his comment before locking the door.

shuaibo thought it would be awkward when it was just them but he was proven wrong when han's body blocked his vision, hands pinning shuaibo's wrist to the bed. shuaibo eyes widened in shock, staring back into han's eyes, enchanted.

"you and your zoning out again, huh?" han asked, eyes admiring shuaibo's features before smiling at the pink tint coming through his cheeks. shuaibo really hate how easily flusters he get, rubbing his lips together.

"others are starting to notice." han added, shuaibo sighing because he noticed as well. han understood why this would be hard for him, giving him a reassuring smile.

"when are you gonna tell them?"

shuaibo wished he had an answer for that question because now he was a little conflicted. being held by han all night was the best thing ever and at that moment, he wanted it from everyone else. however when he woke up, he felt attached to him like he couldn't let go.

han's skin was addicting to him, his warmth, his soft honey like words, how he helped him let it out, just everything began to corrupt his mind. he liked han so much in the span of 12 hours that he would be happy just being held by him. he almost didn't care to be cuddle by the others because han's touch was all he wanted even though he hadn't even tried it with the others.

to top it off, that kiss completely changed shuaibo chemically. shuaibo didn't know what it was exactly but he knew that all he could think about was the kiss. the way his body reacted to a kiss, how his skin craved his, how he was barely containing himself from pouncing on him like a starving hyena, how he was willing to go all the way... how he only wanted him. even now with han staring down at him with so much care and love, shuaibo no longer felt alone.

shuaibo had the answer inside of him but how does he tell han that he is already connected to him. how he didn't want the others, merely him. shuaibo wondered if he now has a crush based on definition and these obvious desires to touch him. did han feel the same?

"hani..." shuaibo started off, wondering how he could put this into words. han hummed. shuaibo chewed at his lower lip out of nervousness but was forced to stop when han's hand gently grabbed his chin and used his thumb to pull the skin down, releasing shuaibo's lower lip from his bite.

"i'm listening." han said. shuaibo paused momentarily, wondering if han was doing this on purpose. he has to be because he keeps doing things like this that he knows makes him blush and become shy. shuaibo stared at han but this time really looking into his eyes, scanning for anything. that's when shuaibo sees it, the tiniest hint of teasing, testing shuaibo to see how he reacts. well han got him into a dangerous game because shuaibo was gonna play along.

shuaibo let his hands crawl up han's side until he was at the collar of his shirt, slowly fisting the fabric into his palm tightly while keeping eye contact with han. shuaibo smiled sweetly at han before he yanked han down by the shirt, his body firmly pressing into his own.

"i don't need to tell them anymore because i have you now," shuaibo whispered, observing han's face carefully, noticing his subtle lip rub and his nose scrunch. "you can hold me forever, right?" shuaibo questioned with puppy eyes, catching the little flicker in han's eyes.

it was silent for a moment. eyes piercing into each other until han hummed as his hand moved from shuaibo's chin to his cheek, the back of his fingers caressing his skin fairly.

"wanna find out?" han challenged, the corner of his lip twitching from suppressing a smirk. shuaibo nodded without a thought, expecting for han to kiss him again. he watched him lean in, body burning with desire the closer han got. just as han's lips ghosted over shuaibo's lips, he moved past it and down to his ear, confusing shuaibo.

"well you're gonna have to wait." han whispered, pulling away with a smile as he pushed himself off the bed. shuaibo could feel the warmth in his ears, watching han leave just as the door of the bathroom opened.

'that fucker' shuaibo cursed at han in his mind, running his hands down his face in frustration. of course han would do that, tease him, get him all excited only to leave him starved. yet he happened to leave right when chih en got out of the bathroom, making shuaibo wonder if he got sixth sense or some psychological power. it would explain his incredible insights on everyone and how he managed to guess everything just right.

shuaibo brushed it off for a moment, realizing he was getting lost in his cloud of thoughts and he can't risk chih en catching him again. good thing he did it that moment because after han entered the bathroom and chih en made it to his bed, he called his name out.

"has there been any message from the others or the staffs?" chih en asked as he laid on his bed, exhaling. 'um i don't know, let me check." shuaibo replied back as he crawled towards the nightstand and grabbed his phone. as shuaibo scrolled through his phone for messages, questions of han came pouring in.

'wanna find out?' shuaibo didn't quite understand what he meant. 'your gonna have to wait' as in tonight or later? 'the others are noticing' did he mean his zoning out or because he didn't want them to find out what's happening between them. shuaibo didn't know but he was gonna find out no matter what because he wasn't gonna let han get away this easy, not when he got him addicted.

-

let's just say today was absolutely miserable for shuaibo and it wasn't because of the hectic schedule. it actually went quite well despite how exhausting it can be. they attended their interview for their recent comeback before doing a show for two other channels. by the time they were done, they had an early dinner before heading back to their dorm which was a three hour drive.

however he wasn't expecting han to ignore him during the entirety of the day, barely sparing him a glance. shuaibo didn't understand why han was doing this to him. did he regret it? was he mad? questions after questions ran through shuaibo's mind, worried that he made a mistake. shuaibo wanted to ask him so badly but he has been avoiding him like a plague whenever shuaibo finds a chance to talk to him. even now on their drive back home, han made sure he traveled in the other car back.

shuaibo wouldn't think any of this but after everything that went down, he was extremely bothered. he could barely talk to his members without han popping up his mind. was han gonna pretend that never happened when they get back home? would he tell shuaibo it was a mistake? tell him to forget it ever happened? no longer hold him like he promised? so much questions that shuaibo's head was gonna explode if he doesn't get any answers.

shuaibo just didn't understand, a blend of frustration, sadness, and hope coming all together. shuaibo could feel his blood rising but he knew he needed to calm down, reminding himself he doesn't know the full story yet. he didn't even realize they had arrived at their apartment until daisuke had to shake him to get his attention. his music was blasting through his earbuds so loud that he couldn't hear any of the members calling for him.

"we're here, c'mon." daisuke said, tugging shuaibo with him out of the car once shuaibo nodded. they all grabbed their belongings before entering the building, heading to their floor. they were separated into three dorms, woongki and shuaibo in the smallest, han, steven and juwon sharing the second one while the other four shared the last dorm.

when shuaibo waited for woongki to open their door, he glanced at han, watching him open his own door. shuaibo looked away, genuinely confused as to why han was ignoring him. they both stepped into their dorm and headed to their shared room, woongki blabbering to shuaibo about the interview.

shuaibo could on nod and laugh, trying his hardest to push han out of his mind. yet when he spotted his bed, his knees locked. how was he supposed to sleep tonight? he didn't want to sound dramatic but he really didn't want to go back to bed by himself. he wanted to be held again, specifically by han. to hide himself into his neck as if he belonged there, skin to skin contact, his fingers brushing through his hair while rubbing his back. he already missed it despite it being barely being 12 hours ago.

shuaibo bit his lower lip, heading to the bathroom and changing out of the tight shirt into a looser one, replacing his jeans with sweats. once comfortable, he began unpacking his bag at his bed. while doing so, he saw woongki packing his bag once again after clearing it out, shoving clean clothes back into the bag.

"what are you doing? why are you packing again?" shuaibo questioned, causing woongki to peek at him with confusion, an unsure smile resting on his lips.

"i'm having a sleepover at steven's, juwon's and han's dorm, duh. han is coming over here to have a sleep over with you, remember?" woongki said, cramming more clothes into his bag and grabbing his pillow. shuaibo was so shocked yet dumbfounded, eyes blinking. woongki noticed, eyebrows stitching together.

"han told you about it, right? he said you guys came up with the idea." woongki mentioned. shuaibo could only think about what han was up to. they haven't talked all day and then he decides to come sleep over here out of nowhere? what was he doing?

"oh yeah, he did. i almost forgot about that, stupid me." shuaibo answered with a laugh, making woongki ruffle his hair. "at least you're pretty, that's all that matters, take it from me!" woongki added with a little twirl, making shuaibo giggle.

"anyways i gotta go now, you two have fun! but not too much fun..." woongki said as he grabbed his belongings and other essentials, staring at shuaibo through the door as a warning. shuaibo played along, pouting. "i could never have as much fun without you here." woongki smiled, proud.

"good, that's how it should be. see you tomorrow, sleep well! love you ~" woongki gave him an air kiss, shuaibo pretending to snatch it as he sent one back.

"you too, love you." shuaibo responded, waving bye to woongki who left the room. shuaibo waited until he heard the door to their apartment shut, sighing as he laid back on his bed.

what the hell is han doing?

shuaibo didn't understand any of this, desperate to know what han was thinking. he hated how he was being left behind in the circle, clueless and ignored. shuaibo knew once han walked through that door, he was gonna throw hundreds of questions at him if he didn't explain himself. just as he finished that thought, he heard a knock at the door. quite literally speaking of the devil.

shuaibo got up as he reminded himself to keep calm. despite the confusion and anger he felt towards han for ignoring him all day, he still couldn't help but be excited to see him. once he approached, he inhaled deeply before turning the knob.
shuaibo was not expecting for han to immediately push past the door before shuaibo could do or say anything, a hand on shuaibo's mouth as he shushed him. shuaibo was confused for what seemed like the 1000th time, trying to yank han's hand off him as han shut the door and locked it. only then did he remove his hand, turning to shuaibo who stared at him like he was crazy.

"what the actual fuck-" shuaibo began but han cut him off.

"hold on, i know how you must be feeling and i'm sorry. i'm sorry for ignoring you, i didn't want to, i promise." han explained, inhaling softly before taking a step forward to shuaibo. shuaibo didn't move but he was still puzzled, eyebrows stitched together.

"if you didn't want to then why did you do it?" shuaibo asked. han sighed, running a hand through his middle part as he bit his lower lip. shuaibo wished he hadn't found that attractive.

"because...i-i couldn't risk the others finding out. i knew that if I touched you or even looked at you, i wouldn't be able to control myself. i wouldn't be able to hide it, so i had to ignore you. i really hated having to do that because i knew it would hurt your feelings. i'm sorry, please let me make it up to you." han locked gaze with shuaibo, eyes pleading.

shuaibo was slightly stunned by han's comment. he wouldn't be able to stop himself or hide it? what was he gonna do? and what the hell did he mean he had to wait from earlier? was he referring to this?

"what did you mean by 'wanna find out'" shuaibo randomly asked, han's eyes blinking in confusion.

"what?"

shuaibo sighed.

"you know, when i asked you if you would hold me forever, you said 'wanna find out'?" shuaibo added and for the first time, shuaibo saw han blush fairly, looking at the ground. he had never felt so happy by seeing such a sight, almost baffled by what he saw but kept his composure.

"well, i wanted to tell you my answer then but i knew chih en was gonna step out at any moment so i couldn't." han said, gaze back on shuaibo while rubbing his lips together. well then what are you waiting for? shuaibo thought, so pent up that he couldn't help himself from expressing it.

"what was your answer then? no one is here since you and I are having a sleepover together, right?" shuaibo asked, loving the look in han's eyes once hearing the second question. that wouldn't last so long though.

"do you really want to know?" han questioned, voice strangely eerie as he stepped closer into shuaibo's space. shuaibo's breath hitched, feeling the sudden tension that roamed the air. shuaibo felt like he couldn't speak when han's hand clamped at his nape, slowly guiding him down to his level.

when shuaibo's eyes aligned with han's, he remembered the look han was giving him. it happened when han was on top of him in bed and shuaibo asked him if he could hold him forever, it was all too familiar. shuaibo nodded, desperate to know what han meant. it had been circling his mind like a damn scene on repeat, unable to turn it off.

han's smile was small but just enough for shuaibo to get nervous, eyes trembling under han's gaze.

"it was a yes...but that wasn't it. i wanted to hold you in every way possible," han started off, gently releasing his grip on shuaibo's neck. "touch your skin," han's hand slid around his neck until he was at his adam apple, enjoying how shuaibo visibly shivered. "mark your skin," with a simple press of the thumb into his flesh, shuaibo gulped. "kiss your lips," han's fingers reached shuaibo's partially opened mouth, dragging it to the side before letting it go, the pink flesh jumping back into place. "make you feel good," han's voiced lowly but seductively, surprising shuaibo not just because he never heard han speak like such but how much it did to his body.

he was barely holding it together, legs feeling numb as he held his breath. when their eyes met, shuaibo shook. just like his voice, he had never seen han stare at him like this, like he was one second from pouncing on him and... shuaibo couldn't wait for han to do so.

"but i can't do that if the others are here can i? i need to be able to hear you moan, see you crumble apart under me...make this the night you will never forget." han concluded, pushing back a loose strand behind shuaibo's ear with a look. shuaibo no longer could take it, hands at han's neck as he yanked him into a kiss.

with the lips he had been craving since this morning back on his own, shuaibo's mind turned to ooze. it was everything he remembered except it wasn't sweet. this kiss was full of hunger, wet lips smacking as their tongue rushed into each other's mouth, unable to stop the rush of exploring. shuaibo's grip on han's neck tightened as his desire grew, limbs losing strength when han's right hand grabbed him by the hip and tugged him closer, crotch flushing together. shuaibo's moan was drawn out at the touch, hush but sweet as han swallowed it, tongue licking to pull more from shuaibo.

the heat between them increased with every passing second, sweat beading at their foreheads and seeping through their clothes. shuaibo couldn't think, mewling hopelessly, barely holding on. the squelch sound of their slick lips sucking and moving together, han's hand burning through the fabric of his jeans, his other hand now caressing his cheek, shuaibo was gone.

han noticed how dazed shuaibo was, eyes loopy and movements droopy. he knew he needed to pull away. once he did, shuaibo whimpered lowly as he tried to reconnect their lips, body leaning on han.

"cmon, let's go to your room." han whispered in a soothing tone, ignoring shuaibo mumbles of complaints, helping him towards his room. shuaibo didn't stop, clingy hands on han's cheeks as tried to turn han's head towards him, lips ready. han chuckled at shuaibo's attempt, realizing how needy and impatient shuaibo is. once they made it to shuaibo's bed, han gently laid him down before getting on top and in between his restless legs. shuaibo continued to whine, fisting han's shirts and forcing him down.

han gave in without a fight, tilting his head as he recaptured shuaibo's lips between his own, lapping the flesh before nibbling the plump, smooth lips. how the sweet flavor of cherry tingles his tongue, eager to taste more. although han didn't show it, he couldn't get enough of shuaibo's lips, slowly drowning. so much he had to bite shuaibo's lower lip, his teeth tugging at the flesh as he caught shuaibo's gaze. han almost collapsed right then and there, so turned on by shuaibo's doe eyes and whimpers that it went straight to his dick.

he dove right back in with more pleasure cursing through his veins, their teeth crashing as he tasted every inch of his mouth, addicted. shuaibo's body reacted to every single touch, skin hot and yearning, dick throbbing against his pants.

"hani-off, please," shuaibo pleaded against han's lips, both panting as shuaibo lazily tugged at han's shirt while also riding his own shirt up. han batted his eyes in confusion before catching on, getting on his knees as he quickly removed the material, helping shuaibo get rid of his own as well. once his shirt was discarded, han didn't waste a single second and hid his face into shuaibo's neck, kissing the skin before taking it between his teeth, slurping the pale skin.

shuaibo instinctively cocked his head to the side, giving han more room as his hands reached for han's biceps. he squeezed the muscle in his palms, his hum dragged out when han sucked at a sensitive spot and his nails dug into the skin.

'"so sensitive," han whispered, smirking against the hot flesh. he could feel shuaibo's vein pulse as he continued to drain the color out of shuaibo's neck. shuaibo was slowly losing patients, chest rising up and down heavily, his erection straining, begging for friction.

"hani please i-touch me, i can't-" shuaibo mumbles desperately, attempting to grind against han's crotch but he was just a little too far, shuaibo grumbling in frustration. so hot, so needy to feel more of han.

he knew how desperate he sounded but he no longer cared, wanting han to touch every inch of his skin. when han loosened his bite at his neck, shuaibo inhaled heavily, goosebumps rising on his skin.

he felt han pace slow, deliberately pecking his neck before traveling under his jaw til he was at his adam apple. shuaibo's eyes quivered at each touch, leaving a burning sensation as his anticipation rose. just then, han returned his gaze back on shuaibo, right hand cupping his warm cheek as his thumb brushed his bottom lip.

"where? do you mean..." han whispered, same hand dragging down shuaibo's bare chest, fingers faintly brushing over his perk nipples. shuaibo breath hitched, watching han's hand travel farther down his torso, stomach dipping in sensitivity until he reached his groin area. "here?" han asked as he tilted his head, palming the clothed erection.

shuaibo's body stiffened with a surprised moan, shaky hands firmly clamping at han's arms. han hummed in satisfaction at shuaibo's reaction, applying more pressure while gently rubbing his cock to which shuaibo's mewled loudly.

"f-fuck wait-" shuaibo pressed his lips together, one hand grabbing at his forearms, attempting to stop him. han noticed, his movements coming to a stop as he waited for shuaibo answer.

just based off looking into shuaibo's eyes, han knew this wasn't what he meant. he wanted to be touch somewhere else. who was han to not give exactly what his hyung wanted, especially with such glossy, pleading, eyes? it made him crumble, ready to do whatever shuaibo's says.

han removed his hand as he pulled away, kneeling between shuaibo's legs. shuaibo's stared at him, legs purposely wrapping around han's thighs to keep him from leaving. han smiled in amusement before hooking his fingers at the waistband of shuaibo's pants.

"can i?" han asked, teasing the band. shuaibo nodded, releasing his legs as he lifted his hips off the bed. 'so obedient' han thought, not wasting a single second as he immediately pulled the two pieces of clothing down shuaibo's legs in one go.

han threw them off the side, not caring where it land because his eyes took interest in something far more enchanting.

the paleness of shuaibo's long legs made millions of hungry thoughts come to life. just from the idea of marking his skin, littering hickeys all over made han's mouth salivate. he couldn't move his gaze away, mindless as his hands caressed the smooth skin. out of the corner of his eyes was when he realized shuaibo's was exposed, his erection sticking out. han found it pretty from the clean shave to the size. shuaibo was slightly above average, more lengthy rather than thick. it strangely suited shuaibo. regardless, it was a pleasant sight.

"hani?" shuaibo called out, voice shy but unsure as his legs caved in. han hurriedly snapped out of thoughts, looking at shuaibo only to find him awkwardly hiding himself. han's eyes widened upon realization, hands working to spread shuaibo's legs apart. "sorry, you're just so...beautiful, hyung." han reassured, running his fingers up and down on the outer sides of shuaibo's thighs.

shuaibo felt his face warm up as a frown-like smile appeared on his lips, hiding behind his forearms. a closed-lip smile creeped up han's lips at shuaibo cute reaction, hovering over him with forearms resting on each side of his face.

"hey, you can't hide from me, let me see you~" han teased, hands breaking in between shuaibo's arms. once han caught sight of shuaibo's reddened face, they quietly giggled, han's leaning in to gently rub the tip of their nose together. shuaibo chewed at the inside of his lip at the action, staring deeper into han's eyes.
it went silent for a moment, both admiring each other close up, every single breath just another reminder of what they were doing.

"do you want me to do this?" han broke the silence, fingers playing at the hair behind shuaibo's ears. shuaibo wondered how much more he had to show han that he wanted this more than ever.

"han, i need you to do this." shuaibo emphasized, arms warping around han's upper body. han's face softened with a smile, placing two fingers at shuaibo's lips and gently tapped the flesh.

"take it." han ordered, enjoying the way shuaibo's eyelashes fluttered in interests. he wiggled his fingers between shuaibo's lips, watching as shuaibo's jaw slackened and the two digit easily sank into his mouth. shuaibo brought an arm back and gripped han's wrist firmly, closing his mouth around his fingers.

shuaibo's didn't let his eyes slip away, continuing to peer at han while sliding the long fingers against the inside of his cheeks. his tongue teased at the skin, carefully playing with it, nice and easy as he observed han. han's eyes burned into his mouth, practically stuck. shuaibo hummed, picking up the pace and sucking the two digits softly, ramming han's fingers in and out of his mouth.

the wet sound consumed han, how shuaibo's tongue curled around his fingers, the smooth glide against his slick lips, his saliva already trickling down his chin. han's could feel his cock pulse against his pants, never finding such sight so captivating. he couldn't move his eyes away, chest heaving and tongue digging into the side of his cheek. he was gonna devour shuaibo. han locked gaze with shuaibo, heart racing at the lust pooling in his droopy eyes. han retreated his fingers back from shuaibo's hot mouth, bringing the drenched fingers down between shuaibo's legs.

"was this where you wanted me to touch you?" han asked innocently, circling the two digits at the entrance of shuaibo's hole. just before shuaibo could say anything, han pushed the two fingers past the rim and into his hole. shuaibo gasped, hands holding onto han's back as he arched off the bed.

"h-han-" shuaibo sputtered, walls suctioning han's fingers as his nails dug into his skin.

"relax, i got you." han whispered, pressing his body into shuaibo's until they were sinking into the bed, his unoccupied fingers threading through shuaibo's locks. shuaibo nodded while closing his eyes, taking deep breaths as he focused on han's fingertips massaging his scalp. han nuzzled his face into shuaibo's neck, pecking his skin. he gently slid his fingers out before pushing back in, repeating the action as he avoided shuaibo's sweet spot.

he could hear shuaibo little noise of satisfaction, his drawn out hums to small moans. han loved it, gradually plunging his fingers into shuaibo faster and more force. just that made shuaibo's body shake, chest rising and falling heavily as he whimpered.

"m-more, i need mor-ah-hani? i want to see you-" shuaibo mumbled with a pout, fingers curling into han's raven hair while tugging him away from his neck. han complied within seconds, preparing to slide another finger in and revealed his face to shuaibo, giving him a quick smooch to his swollen lips.

shuaibo yanked him into another thirsty kiss just as han's shoved three fingers into him, knuckles deep as he choked against han's lips. han used that opportunity to slip his eager tongue down shuaibo's throat, drinking all of his sweet, mellifluous noises. his fingers moved relentlessly, the loud squelch of the thrusts only turning him on more. it didn't help that shuaibo was making him intoxicated, spewing whines of pleasure into his mouth while pleading his name.

"han-mhm-please, need you now." shuaibo begged as he slurped up their salivas off his lips, panting against han's lips. as his fingers fuck shuaibo's anus, he faintly curled them down to hit his prostate dead on, watching shuaibo. just like he hoped, shuaibo threw his head back with a choked up moan, limbs spasming under the intense pleasure, fingers piercing into han's scalp.

"fuck! n-no please, not yet-want you, hngh!" shuaibo begged between each breath, a single tear breaking past his lashes as his lower body twitched. he didn't want to come like this, not when he's been yearning for han's dick. he needed the younger to stop.

"plea-please, not like like-" shuaibo begged breathlessly, eyes fluttering shut while catching his breath once han's fingers finally stopped, resting inside him. he could feel han's eyes on him but he was too focused on how his walls convulsed around han's fingers, finding it somewhat embarrassing. even despite feeling shy about it, he was just so aroused to the point of no longer caring, desperate for han to fuck him. he was barely holding onto the thread and really hope han would get on with it.

"hyung, look at me." han uttered. shuaibo cracked an eye, catching a glimpse of han before letting his eyes widen.

"i'm gonna give it to you." han assured, pulling away til he was on knees, staring down at the blond. shuaibo nodded, gaze flickering from his toned chest and the light shape of his abs. han noticed shuaibo's action but didn't say anything, hooking his fingers at the waistband of his sweats. han pushed the fabrics down his thighs, exposing his hard dick.

han felt his cheeks warm up from being bare, especially when he could feel shuaibo's eyes burning through his dick and he wasn't sure if he wanted to look. the silence didn't help and he didn't dare make eye contact with shuaibo yet. han knew he was above average but being naked in front of his member, or his crush, made him rethink it all. he reminded himself that everything is okay and that if shuaibo didn't want to continue, he will let him.

just before han managed to find the courage and look at shuaibo, he was yanked down by the hip and was eye to eye with shuaibo.

"can i touch it?" shuaibo asked, eyes full of eagerness that han was caught off guard. han blanked, blinking as he registered the question. "uh y-yeah," han mumbled.

shuaibo watched his own right hand on han's hip glided down between his legs, carefully but confident as he held the length. he peered at han, who lips pressed together, asking for permission to which han nodded. slowly but surely shuaibo's hand stroked han's hard cock, chewing his bottom lips.

he could feel the veins and textures of han's dick, the girth of his size that shuaibo never thought he would be so wet just by knowing this. he was tempted to put it in his mouth where he can feel everything, taste him but not now. not when his hole was begging for han, the rim pulsing in anticipation and the little noises at the back of han's throat. he needed it right now.

"put it in." shuaibo said, fixing his gaze on han.

"now, i need it now-put it in me, please." shuaibo whimpered. han never reacted so fast than he did now, spitting in his hand and smearing the saliva around his cock, biting his bottom lip when his finger brushed his sensitive tip. he aligned himself with shuaibo's entrance with a deep breath in, feeling his hole attempting to swallow him.

han looked at shuaibo once more, feeling the blond wrap his legs around his hips and his arms enveloping him at the neck. shuaibo tugged him closer, his lips ghosting over han's before nodding. han attached their lips once again while gently inserting his cock into shuaibo's hole, groaning at the tightness.

shuaibo on the other hand was overwhelmed. he was basically falling apart with han's lips sucking noisily at his own, tongue teasing into his mouth, his cold hand gripping his waist, his thick cock stretching him out. he felt like he was being ripped in the ass yet he chased that feeling, urging han's to continue with his fingers bunching up han's hair in his palm. shuaibo moaned against han's mouth, their lips coated in salivas as it smudged on their skins, tongues twisting, jaws falling lax.

shuaibo's mind slowly clouded once han bottomed out, han's dick throbbing against his wet hole as his legs shook heavily on han's back. it was intoxicating. heavenly. pure bliss. everything shuaibo wanted. han didn't move despite his low groans from shuaibo's hot heat, waiting for shuaibo to tell him he was ready, which he expected would be in a minute. except he was wrong.

"move," shuaibo panted against han's plump lips, grinding down on han.

"now? are you sure?" han asked in concern, not wanting to hurt the blond.

"yes, i'm so fucking sure, give it to me," shuaibo blurted, tone yearning and desperate that han could only comply, ready to give shuaibo everything he could. han drew his hips back, a long, painfully delicious drag, til the tip of his cock caught on the rim of shuaibo's hole, fixating his gaze on shuaibo's face before thrusting in with moderate force.

"oh fuck-" shuaibo's gasp echoed as his head dug into the pillow, fingers clamping han's raven hair tightly. han let out a strangled grunt, warm walls sucking his cock so feverishly that sent a wave of shiver down han's spine. his finger clamped harder on shuaibo's waist, trying to ground himself, hooded eyes flickering on shuaibo's face.

if only han knew that would be a huge mistake.

everytime his hard dick plunged noisily into shuaibo, shuaibo's face twist, eyes hazy, swollen lips spewing airy moans, a pretty pink blooming across his cheeks. han was gonna lose it.

"your insane, i'm gonna eat you alive." han muttered through each deep inhale. "pl-please, do it-i need-ah-it, mhm~" shuaibo spluttered, broken moans rushing into han's ears, body activating. his hips snapped harder. thirsty lips attacking shuaibo's neck. lapping and biting, skin bruising. pleasure pooling in their guts. air electrified, hearts beating loudly at the intensity.

shuaibo couldn't think, eyes rolling to the back of his head with every thrust to the sweet spot, sweat beading at his skin, back arching. all he could do was gush numerous pleas and let his fingers scratch down han's back. so much that tears drenched his cheeks, pleasure cursed through his veins as his cock throbbed against his abdomen.

he loved it all. how han's dick rammed roughly into his slick, stretched hole, producing a delicious squelch that resonated off the walls or when han's wet tongue lapped his neck messily, draining out the pale color with sharp nibbles. so full, so stuffed, so deep. he never wants han to stop. he needed him every second just like this, fucking him so good, whispering praises into his burning ears, hands clamping his body as if he never wants to let go. shuaibo wanted to drown in this forever.

"ngh-hani, hani...fuck-i'm close!" shuaibo moan stretched into a high sob, fingers finding home in han's damp hair, no longer knowing if he was trying to pull him closer or away.

shuaibo watched as han's face came into frame, goosebumps rising on his boiling skin from the hunger pooling in han's dark eyes, his lips coated in saliva, shining and glossy. shuaibo wanted to run his tongue over his red flesh so bad.

"hold it for me hyung." han mumbled, clashing his mouth on shuaibo's, hot and needy.

a drawn out moan spilled past shuaibo's lips, legs shaking from the speed of han's skin meeting his, walls melting as if han's cock was meant to be in him. shuaibo pants heavily, tongue lolling into the heat of han's mouth, mind cloudy. he gave it his all to hold back his release despite how unbearable it was, especially when his mind was utterly focused on how the thick cock drove into him, a smooth, easy glide.

"you're doing amazing, fuck-mhm i got you," han praised.

all shuaibo could do was nod dumbly, not even sure if he heard correctly except for how mellifluous han's deep voice sounded, willing to do whatever han wanted. han's hand departed from shuaibo's waist and cupped underneath his jaw, forcing shuaibo's gaze on him. han's gaze froze for a moment, losing himself in shuaibo's eyes.

"pretty, so pretty. just perfect around me... were you made for me? to take me like this?" han questioned despite the strain in his voice, catching the flicker of hope in shuaibo's dilated eyes. he was almost gone for the second time.

"mhm-y-yes, ahh-just for you." shuaibo's uttered, a whine bubbling in the back of his throat as his muscles contracts. han landed a long smooch to shuaibo's mouth as an approval, his rhythm becoming sloppy although his pace remained fast. his cock abused shuaibo's prostate recklessly, an intense sensation washing over their body as they near their orgasm.

"hani, i can't! mph!" shuaibo whimpered against his wet lips, salty tears mixing into their kiss that turned shuaibo on even more. han pressed his forehead against shuaibo's where they could really see each other, note every inch of their features. then han snatched one of shuaibo's wrist and guided his hand to his lower abdomen before firmly pressing shuaibo's hand down.

"can you feel me?" han murmured. shauibo's lips quivered with a small nod, feeling the bulge of han's cock penetrating in him, so deeply.

"good, because i'm gonna fill you up to the brim." han gritted, putting all his effort into legs, railing deeper and faster that shuaibo could only choke on his moan, hands thrashing the sheets. that was all shuaibo needed to meet his end.

his whole body convulsed as he came, head slamming back into the pillow as his back arched off the bed with a deep sob, eyes squeezing together. han's eyes drank shuaibo every noise and movement, chasing after his own orgasm.

with shuaibo's desperate hole clenching and pulsing around him and his strained whimpers from over sensitivity, han collapsed. at the last thrust, he spilled his cum deep into shuaibo with a guttural moan, painting his walls white. he really meant it when he said he would fill shuaibo up. his cock continued to spew his load, panting heavily into shuaibo's collarbone as his hips jerked a couple more until the last drop.

shuaibo felt so full, so stuffed with han's cum. he was more than content over it. shuaibo's body went limbless against the sheets, arms spread out as his legs locked around han's hips, almost as if it was instinctual. their chest rose and fell together as they cooled down from the intense release, breath blending together in the thick, foggy air.

they didn't move, they couldn't. even when their bodies tremble in sensitivity or the constant convulsion of shuaibo's slick walls at han's limp cock, they stayed situated. the atmosphere was still but comforting, leaving the two in silence for a minute. yet too long to leave shuaibo thinking.

"han-" shuaibo started off, breath hitching when han's face unexpectedly lifted from his collarbones, staring at each other. the question left his head in just a snap.

shuaibo couldn't ignore how his stomach churned, the aftermath of sex glowing on han. his hair was ruined, sticking out in every way, lips plump, eyebrows softened, the small red marks on his shoulders.

this made shuaibo wonder how he looked if han was this beautiful, especially when han's eyes traveled around his face.

han wanted to print this picture in his mind, remember all of it because he has never seen such beauty before, his voice caught in his throat. shuaibo's blond hair scattered across the wrinkled pillow, some front strands sticking to his skin due to the sweat, eyes blown out, nose scrunching, lips tatter, the residue of their saliva and shuaibo's tears smeared from his mouth to his chin to his cheeks, neck a displayed canvas of han's hickeys.

"too gorgeous, i think i need to eat you again." han whispered, returning his gaze back to shuaibo. the corner of shuaibo's lips curled up into a small smile, feeling flustered as his eyes crinkled fairly. shuaibo's arms slithered around han's shoulder, fingers interlocking from behind. han's face and body reacted before he could control it, mouth widening into a grin as his finger brushed away shuaibo's flyaways. he watched as shuaibo looked away in shyness, chewing the inside of his cheeks.

"hani, you said you would hold me forever, do you still feel that way?" shuaibo asked, hands fiddling together.

han sighed softly.

"hyung," han said, shuaibo's gaze returning back on him. "i will hold you until the very end, okay? i want this. i want us. i want you. i've felt this way for a very long time so i'm sure this is what i want. besides, there's no other place i rather be than right here with you." han uttered, leaning into shuaibo's arms at his shoulder and pecking the skin before rubbing his cheek against it. shuaibo let out a sigh as a closed-lip smile appeared on his face, nodding.

"i'm sorry, i just wanted to make sure because i think i have fallen for you in just a day." shuaibo added, blushing when han giggled at him.

"good because whenever i'm bored, i get to kiss you." han teased, shuaibo smacking his back while hiding his smile by pressing his lips together.

"c'mon, let's get washed up." han said, grunting as he carefully pulled out of shuaibo before getting up on his knees. shuaibo whined at the emptiness inside him, patting his stomach as his legs settled on the bed, stretching from being wrapped around han for so long.

"now i'm empty," shuaibo pouted, earning a fondly snicker from han at his reaction, rubbing his lower abdomen tenderly. "i can always fill you up again, we have all the time in the world but first, we need to get cleaned up." han reassured, gaining a grumbling noise from shuaibo.

"and also because..." han redirected his eyes towards shuaibo's hole, a subtle smirk tugging at his lips. it was bright red, still pulsing and clenching around nothing, his cum leaking past the rim. "your hole needs to recover."

han immediately hid behind his arms when shuaibo threw a pillow at him.

"ugh get out of here!" shuaibo playfully ordered, closing his legs while sitting down on the bed. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry-" han repeated in between giggles, rubbing shuaibo's thighs as an apology.

"whatever let's just go and get your stupid cum out of me," shuaibo mumbled, acting annoyed because he knew han would coddle him, which is what he wants.

"i'm kidding, i'm sorry hyung, i won't do that again!" han continued to spew apologies, following after him once shuaibo got off the bed. shuaibo grimaced at the wet liquid between cheeks while realizing his cum was dripping down his stomach, ready to clean it off. just as he took a step, his legs shook tremendously and shuaibo quickly held onto the bed. han came to his side, slithering his arm around shuaibo's waist while helping him hook an arm around his shoulder.
however, that only resulted in shuaibo sending him a playful, offended glare.

"look what you did to me," shuaibo mumbled with a pout, han unable to hold back his smile. "now you're laughing at me being unable to walk." shuaibo added as he frowned, shoulders lightly slouching with knees somewhat bent.

"hey, you wanted this too! don't put all the blame on me... i'm gonna help you anyways," han defended, encouraging with his head for shuaibo to take a step forward. shuaibo sighed because he knew he couldn't argue with that, slowly walking as he tried to ignore the way his legs trembled with each step. however it was so much that even han couldn't ignore it, glancing at shuaibo. "uh okay, i'm sorry." han apologized upon realization, biting his bottom lips.

"just carry me at this point, my legs feel like noodles." shuaibo whined with a heavy sigh, arms yanking han by the shoulder into him as he lazily tried to hike his right leg on han's leg. han's arms held shuaibo's waist tighter so he wouldn't fall although he was puzzled at the abrupt request. when he met eyes with shuaibo, he was giving him puppy eyes with his bottom lips jutted out, questioning why han wasn't picking him up.

any doubts han had, flew off his shoulder from that single look, determined to carry shuaibo. however he was gonna have to carry him another way because it wouldn't work from the front but if he piggybacked, han could do that. he didn't want to hurt shuaibo, even himself because he's not sure if he had the strength to carry him that way.

"i can't carry you this way, it's not safe, but i can carry you on my back?" han asked, hoping shuaibo would agree and thankfully shuaibo gave in without any complaints, most likely understanding that it would be hard for han to carry him in such a way.

han gave himself a mental talk, reassuring that he can do it and that he didn't work out for nothing. he was gonna do it for the sake of shuaibo because even though han was shorter and probably weighs less, he knew if he didn't, worries about being too tall or big would find their way back into his head. and han wasn't gonna let that happen.

"okay, hold on tight, yeah?" han said, almost a prep talk for himself, shuaibo nodding. he locked his arms around han's neck, lifting his right leg so han could grab it and get him in on back. han's hand clutch under shuaibo's knee, barely bending his knees so shuaibo could get on back easier. shuaibo hopped onto han's back as carefully as he could, immediately squinting at han over his shoulder when he heard him grunt.

"i'm not-?" shuaibo couldn't complete his sentence because han cut him off, shaking his head, "nope, i got you." han took a breath in, not because shuaibo was heavy but from putting all his energy in preparing for shuaibo only to be surprised. shuaibo felt light on his back.

well han wasn't that caught off guard since shuaibo has always been on the leaner side but still, he had worried over it too much. once shuaibo rested his chin on the tandem of han's shoulder blade and nape while his arms dangled over his shoulder, han began their journey to the bathroom.

they exited shuaibo's and woongki's room, shuaibo pointing him towards the bathroom door. shuaibo felt his smile grow as han carried him all the way to the bathroom, legs still working at an easy pace and his breathing exactly the same. he thought han's legs would have given out, chest heaving and out of breath. but he wasn't, which washed away all of his nervousness and doubts.

once they arrived at their destination, han gently bent down so shuaibo could get off his back safely, immediately looping an arm around his hips to keep him steady. han kept his gaze on shuaibo but shuaibo looked straight into the mirror, seeing a litter of hickeys all over his neck. his jaws dropped subtly, surprised at how much there was, some a deep purple, others a pretty pink, dents of han's teeth in his skin. han noticed, smiling.

"it looks pretty, you know?" han said although the doubt in his voice betrayed him, shuaibo sulking at han through the mirror. "stop lying," shuaibo muttered, hands gripping at the rim of the counter, cold but nice on shuaibo's warm skin.

"no i mean it, it contrast with your pale skin nicely." han reassured, thumb drawing circles into shuaibo's pelvis, resulting in shuaibo to melt into the touch.

"then why did your voice sound like that?" shuaibo pointed out, a pout still very much visible on his lips. han had to resist himself from biting the flesh.

"because i didn't realize i gave you...so much." han answered, his chin nudging shuaibo's shoulder gently, staring at face from the side. when shuaibo looked at han, the raven simpered. "i'm sorry, it's hard for me to resist you."

shuaibo blushed for what seemed like the 100th time, han's charm working on him so perfectly. he hates it yet he loves it. han caught shuaibo flustered state, pecking his shoulder. "so cute. you stay here, i will get everything ready."

-

han and shuaibo plopped on the edge of bed with a heavy exhaled, chest heaving, drained. it took awhile simply because shuaibo was barely able to stand on his own two legs so he had to rely on han for support. also because shuaibo still held a grudge against him for being the reason he was in this state. it was funny to han, finding his moping face so adorable and squeezable.

after scrubbing each other with a soapy, net sponge, they got out of the shower. han dried shuaibo's body, not forgetting to land small kisses to parts of his skin while admiring, realization settling in him that he get to see shuaibo like this. han then dried his wet body, catching shuaibo's gaze traveling his back from all the scratch marks he left. han just had to teased him, making a comment as he waited for shuaibo's skin to flare up. shuaibo did not disappoint, ears and cheeks a deep red as he landed a punch to his side, embarrassed.

they giggled and smiled widely, putting on clean boxers as they blow dried their hairs. now here they were, catching their breath on the bed, air lighter, comfortable.

"i'm cold," shuaibo broke the silence, head turning to han with hopeful eyes. han didn't even have to look to know what shuaibo wanted, a small chuckle leaving his throat. "you want me to cover you?"
han finally met locked eyes with shuaibo as a grin appeared on his face, shuaibo returning an even bigger smile.

"i thought you would never ask." shuaibo uttered. han stretched his arms out, completely open for shuaibo to take claim, to make himself at home. shuaibo plopped on top of han's body, cheeks pressing into han's plump chest as his arms slithered around his waist.

he let out a sigh, skin crawling with ants when han's hands caressing his bare back and tugged him closer to him. shuaibo never thought a day like this could ever happen to him. it went by so quick.

he was first upset over not being held to suddenly being with someone who swore to hold him forever, showering him with love that those feelings disappeared within a snap of a finger. regardless, shuaibo was content. he wouldn't change a single thing about how he ended up here. han will always hold him and shuaibo now knows that.

"cover me..." shuaibo whispered so gently that han couldn't hear, more of a reminder to shuaibo that he is exactly where he wants to be.