Chapter Text
On a lone spear of rock, two old friends sit together, their backs to the setting sun. Between them rests a bakery box filled with six plump, juicy pork buns. They’ll talk until their meal is done, then go their separate ways until the next time their busy schedules align.
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KURIKARA: How was your trip to Qiming?
BELLA: It was a wonderful! The people are charming, the architecture is breathtaking, and the food. Oh my goodness the food—
KURIKARA: And the little Vitas?
BELLA: The cutest little things in the entire solar system.
KURIKARA: Did you get to see them while they were working? Isn’t it so cute when they’re trying to act all grown up?
BELLA: Yes! Aaaaah I wanted to squee. One day, they were holding a forum to take community feedback on a recent aqueduct project and they responded to criticism was like little politicians.
KURIKARA: (Imitating Red Vita) We’re not taking questions on that topic at this time.
BELLA: Haha! Yes! Oh, and when we first got there, they welcomed us with this little official ceremony. It was so cute I wanted to explode. But like, you could tell they wanted to be taken seriously so I had to hold it in and act all official, too.
KURIKARA: I love that. Who did you go with?
BELLA: Herrscher of Sentience, Project Bunny, and Eins.
KURIKARA: Interesting group.
BELLA: That’s what I thought. It was good, though. Most of the time we each did our own thing but we shared at least one meal a day together.
KURIKARA: Was everyone there on vacation or were some people there to work?
BELLA: It was a mix. Senti was there on behalf of Fu Hua who couldn’t make it.
KURIKARA: Oh is she still in that bubble universe?
BELLA: The one that smells like scallions, yes.
KURIKARA: What’s she still doing there? I thought they anchored that universe already.
BELLA: They did, but they really want to find out why it smells like scallions all the time.
KURIKARA: Huh. What about Project Bunny? I hope she was there on vacation.
BELLA: She was there for some R&R.
KURIKARA: Poor thing.
BELLA: That girl is burned out.
KURIKARA: I heard that even after Bronya stopped working her so hard, PB kept putting the pressure on herself.
BELLA: That’s exactly was it was like. Overworking has become second nature to her so it’s hard for her to stop.
KURIKARA: It is so hard to unlearn behaviors. Like, sometimes, I still think about killing humans.
BELLA: I’m the same way! I can tell Sirin about it but some people make it weird. Like, Theresa will ask, (in a tiny voice) Oh but you’re not really thinking of killing humans right? (In her normal voice) And she’ll try to play it off like she’s joking but you know she’s serious. Obviously I’m not going to start randomly killing humans..
KURIKARA: Right?
BELLA: You get it!
KURIKARA: I totally get it!
BELLA: We’d never do it.
KURIKARA: Of course not!
BELLA: But sometimes you think really hard about it.
KURIKARA: There’s nothing wrong with a fun little thought!
BELLA: Nothing at all.
KURIKARA: Anyway, did PB have a nice time?
BELLA: I think so. She was so stressed the first few days because she couldn’t login to work, but after a few days she started to relax. We snuck an aromatherapy diffuser into her room and I think it helped stop her anxiety spiral.
KURIKARA: That’s good.
BELLA: Orange Vita took her to the hot springs at the edge of the city and on our third or fourth day, Senti, Eins, and I took her to get a massage.
KURIKARA: Do massages even work on her?
BELLA: I guess so. She seemed to like it.
KURIKARA: Dude, I love massages. The best thing about having a dumb soft human body is that I can get a massage.
BELLA: I completely agree. The closest thing you can get to a massage in dragon form is having someone power wash your scales.
KURIKARA: Oh for real? I never tried that.
BELLA: Sirin is getting all domestic now that we own a house. She bought a power washer for the driveway. One day for fun she turned it on me and oooh it feels gooood.
KURIKARA: Nice. Oh, what about Eins? What was she there for?
BELLA: I don’t know. Something science-y. She explained it at dinner the first night we were there but between the jet-lag and the special relativity I couldn’t follow what she was saying. Setting up sensors is the short version.
KURIKARA: Those scientists and their sensors.
BELLA: They can’t get enough of them.
KURIKARA: They’re always trying to detect things. So nosy!
BELLA: Can a neutrino travel in peace?
KURIKARA: Not with all the dumb physicists in the universe trying to detect everything.
BELLA: Tch.
KURIKARA: Tut!
BELLA: Hmph!
KURIKARA: Pbbbbbbth.
Bun 2
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KURIKARA: Were you at that big diplomatic thing with the Xianzhou Alliance?
BELLA: Yes. I was there in my capacity as Sirin’s knight.
KURIKARA: Was it cool?
BELLA: Cool is not the word I would use, but it was a momentous occasion. I’ve been meaning to ask why you weren’t there.
KURIKARA: Mei asked if I wanted to go and I said no thanks.
BELLA: I think that was a good idea. You’d have found the whole thing boring.
KURIKARA: Exactly. I had Earth’s diplomatic interests in mind by not attending because falling asleep at the negotiating table is not a good look. Did I miss anything good? How were the delegates from Xianzhou?
BELLA: They were interesting, mostly military types, but a few civilian ministers were present.
KURIKARA: Any hotties? People from outer space are usually hot.
BELLA: What makes you think that? How many aliens have you seen?
KURIKARA: Do Vita, Sena, and Lantern count as aliens?
BELLA: I guess? Technically? We’re all from the same solar system though.
KURIKARA: Well, they’re hot. Also, aren’t we technically aliens? Like, we’re from the Cocoon of Finality which isn’t originally from this solar system, right?
BELLA: I never thought about it that way, and after considering what you said for three seconds I think I’ll continue not to think about it that way. I’m from Earth, even if our people originally aren’t.
KURIKARA: Yeah, you’re right. I think of myself as being from this planet.
BELLA: But you asked about hotties.
KURIKARA: I did! Were there any? Tell me tell me.
BELLA: Fine. Here.
Bella leans over to show a picture on her phone.
KURIKARA: I’m in love.
BELLA: Please be normal about this.
KURIKARA: She looks like she smells amazing. I want to bury my face in her big bushy tail and and just breathe her in.
BELLA: Dude…
KURIKARA: What’s her name? Is she a mom? She looks like a hot mom.
BELLA: Her name is Yukong. She’s the captain of one of their worldships and I don’t know if she has kids or not. It didn’t come up.
KURIKARA: Damn. She’s so pretty. Can you send me that photo?
BELLA: I don’t think you can be trusted with it.
KURIKARA: You know me too well. Maybe I’ll go to the next one of these diplomatic summits. Scope out some space hotties.
BELLA: We receive envoys from one of the most powerful space-faring factions in the known universe and all you can think about is how hot they are?
KURIKARA: Have you been on the Internet? Us alien-lovers are legion, Bells. And hey, what solidifies alliances faster than interbreeding?
BELLA: Oh, you’re planning to have children with these aliens?
KURIKARA: What? Ew! No. I do not want kids. Kids are gross. I just meant in general. But speaking of kids, are you and Sirin still thinking of having kids?
BELLA: Yes, Sirin and I are considering having gross children.
KURIKARA: I didn’t mean all kids are gross, just most kids. And if they’re your kids I’ll get to be a cool auntie!
BELLA: Assuming I ever let you see them.
KURIKARA: Hey! I’m your best friend!
BELLA: My best friend is my cat.
KURIKARA: Damn. Beaten by Madame Cheesecake yet again.
BELLA: But after her, yes. You are my best friend. I still don’t understand how we’re the only two Honkai dragons in existence and we’re so different.
KURIKARA: Maybe it’s some kind of cosmic balance. You’re a cool, responsible knight and I’m hot, violent flake.
BELLA: The perfect role model for my theoretical children.
KURIKARA: Or I could be a cautionary tale. You could be like, “See Auntie Kurikara? She lost a fortune on crypto. Don’t be like her.”
BELLA: You invested in crypto?
KURIKARA: Hell no. I mean, I was going to but then Senti said it was a good idea so I knew it was a scam.
BELLA: Senti is sort of a financial advisor in a way.
KURIKARA: Do the opposite of what she tells you and you’ll be rich!
BELLA: Exactly.
KURIKARA: Speaking of dragons being rich, what’s with that stereotype that dragons have all this gold?
BELLA: It comes from old legends. I don’t know why they think we’re all rich.
KURIKARA: What would a dragon without a human form even do with money?
BELLA: And why do they always show us sleeping on the gold? Why wouldn’t we sleep in big beds?
KURIKARA: Hey what if we got giant beds?
BELLA: Huh?
KURIKARA: Where do you usually sleep in your dragon form?
BELLA: I can sleep anywhere in my dragon form. I just curl up and it’s lights out. I’m happier if I’m somewhere warm, of course.
KURIKARA: Same! In my original form I can sleep anywhere, but what if they made beds big enough for our real selves!
BELLA: I never thought of that.
KURIKARA: A bed that’s comfortable like a human bed but would still be strong enough to hold the weight of our dragon bodies…
BELLA: Let me text Tesla. She’d love the challenge.
- - -
BELLA: The buns were delicious. Thank you.
KURIKARA: That’s what she said!
BELLA: Ugh.
KURIKARA: Hahaha I love you, Bells.
BELLA: I love you too, Kara. I should get going.
KURIKARA: Me too. Mei is coming home from visiting the moon and you know how she gets.
BELLA: Kiana withdrawal?
KURIKARA: Kiana withdrawal. I’m going to fly over and keep her company.
BELLA: Look at you, being a reliable dragon for your Herrscher.
KURIKARA: Don’t give me too much credit. If Mei’s sad for too long she summons stormclouds without realizing it. I’m doing this for the sake of our good weather.
BELLA: Tell her I said hi.
KURIKARA: I will. Tell Sirin I said hi.
BELLA: I will. See you later! Next time, I’m buying.
Bella leaps off the cliff. A moment later, a massive dragon soars into the sky, disappearing quickly into the clouds. Kurikara crumples up the cardboard box as best she can and incinerates it in a cloud of crimson lightning, leaving only ash to be scattered in the wind.