Archive of Our Own ^beta

Morning poured through the paper windows like warm honey, catching in the floating dust motes that danced lazily through the air. The little room smelled faintly of rice porridge and the lavender sachets Seonghwa kept tucked by the doorway, their scent mingling with the sleepy warmth of the house.

Seonghwa sat cross legged on the tatami floor, his hair still tousled from sleep wearing a loose sweater slipping off one shoulder. Across from him his youngest, Yeosang was perched like a wary sparrow with his sleeves swallowing his hands and his feet tucked underneath him. His dark eyes watched everything at once, the light on the floor, the paper crown crooked on the toy dinosaur’s head, and finally, his father’s face.

Between them stretched a battlefield of alphabet blocks and stuffed animals, though Seonghwa treated it like sacred ground. He placed the green plastic dinosaur in the middle, its crown askew but regal nonetheless.

“Diiiii…” Seonghwa sang the sound gently, his voice low and warm, like sunlight made of sound. He tapped the dinosaur’s head with his finger. “Diiino.”

Yeosang’s gaze flicked to the dinosaur, then back to Seonghwa. His lips pressed into a tiny determined line. His fingers fluttered against his sweater cuffs, restless, like they were trying to grab invisible words out of the air.

Seonghwa’s heart ached, but in the sweetest way. “Watch,” he murmured, and made the dinosaur bounce in a goofy little hop, complete with an exaggerated squeaky roar. “Dino! Hello, Dino!”

The dinosaur fell on its side dramatically. Yeosang blinked emotionlessly and then a sound escaped him. The smallest and softest giggle, like a bubble popping in water. His eyes sparked with quiet delight, and Seonghwa’s soul just about levitated.

“That’s it,” Seonghwa encouraged, his voice like a blanket. “Want to try?”

Yeosang’s lashes fluttered as he looked down, then sideways, then back at Seonghwa, who sat still as a statue, not rushing him, giving him all the time in the world tucked into his patient smile.

Yeosang’s lips parted. At first, it was only a breath, trembling like a moth’s wing. 

“...Duh…”

Seonghwa froze on his spot with a smile blooming on his face “Yes. Yes, just like that!” His voice wobbled with pride. “Keep going, my star.”

Yeosang’s brows knitted with fierce concentration and he tried again, mouth forming the shape carefully like it was a fragile treasure.

“...Duh…no…”

“Dino!” Seonghwa clapped softly, knowing Yeosang startled with loud noises. “You said it. Yeosang, you said it.”

Something bloomed across Yeosang’s face and he launched forward, scooping the crowned dinosaur up with a triumphant squeal.

“Dino!” he shouted clearer this time as if the word had finally found its home in him.

Seonghwa’s chest squeezed until it almost hurt and he pulled Yeosang into his arms, holding him tight as laughter bubbled from both of them. Yeosang smelled of sunshine, sleep, and the faintest hint of strawberry jam from breakfast. His little fingers curled into Seonghwa’s sweater like roots holding onto earth.

“You did it,” Seonghwa whispered against his hair, voice trembling with quiet joy. “My clever boy. My beautiful boy.”

Yeosang pressed his face into his father’s chest and hummed happily, clutching the dinosaur like a knight holding a sword. “Next,” Seonghwa murmured, rocking him gently, “we’ll teach Dino how to say ‘Yeosang.’”

Yeosang giggled so softly it made Seonghwa’s heart ache, knowing the struggles his boy will face as he grows up. Seonghwa holds Yeosang tighter and buries his face into Yeosang’s hair giving the boy a tiny kiss wanting to hold onto this memory forever.

After the triumphant “Dino” victory, Yeosang had darted off like a shooting star, dragging the crowned dinosaur with him on some mysterious mission that apparently involved hiding it under every cushion in the house.

Seonghwa used the brief calm to hum his way around the kitchen with his sleeves rolled up and hair pulled into a messy bun. The room was bright and warm with sunlight spilling through the open window while the faint breeze rattled the wind chimes. He carefully sliced strawberries, lined them up like tiny hearts on the plate, and added rice shaped into little stars, with a side of tamagoyaki rolled perfectly golden.

“Lunch time, little comet,” he called softly, setting the plate on the low table like it was a treasure offering.

Yeosang padded in on quiet feet, dinosaur dangling from one hand. His eyes lit up until they didn’t. Very slowly Yeosang's face crumpled like paper.

“No,” he said in barely a whisper.

Seonghwa blinked, not understanding what was going through his youngest's head “What’s wrong, love?”

Yeosang’s breathing went erratic and he dropped the dinosaur with a thud, clapped both hands over his ears, and began wailing. A high, desperate sound, like the world had just betrayed him.

“bright!” he cried. “No no no no no”

Seonghwa’s heart pinched at the obvious distress Yeosang was in but he didn’t rush; he knew that would overwhelm him more. Slowly he knelt on the floor and stayed very still, his voice softening as if not to scare him.

“Okay. Too bright. Let’s fix it.”

He padded silently to the window and pulled the curtain halfway closed, dimming the golden light to something gentler and the room settled like a held breath exhaling.

Yeosang had curled up on the floor with his shoulders shaking and his little fists pressed to his eyes.

Seonghwa came back, not touching him yet and slowly sat beside him with his back against the wall. “You don’t have to eat it,” he murmured. “It’s okay to be upset. I’m here.”

Minutes passed with Seonghwa sitting beside Yeosang offering a soothing presence and gradually, Yeosang’s breathing slowed before he peeked out from behind his hands with his watery eyes.

Seonghwa caught the look and offered the smallest olive branch by plucking one of the star shaped rice balls and bit it with exaggerated dramatic flair making his eyes going comically wide. “Mmmm. Yummy. Oh no. I might eat them all.”

Yeosang’s lips twitched, still staring at the rice balls as if they personally offended him.

“Want to save one from the evil Appa?” Seonghwa whispered conspiratorially.

Yeosang sniffled before slowly reaching his hand out. His tiny fingers pinched a rice star and he popped it in his mouth after inspecting every inch of the rice ball was up to his standard.

Seonghwa brushed a gentle hand through his hair. “Thank you for telling me it was too bright,” he said softly. “That helped me take care of you.” Yeosang didn’t speak often and Seonghwa knew that telling Yeosang he was thankful would teach Yeosang to use his words more in the future.

Yeosang leaned against him letting out a small yawn and Seonghwa held him close, thinking of how the meltdowns would always pass but it would never make them any easier.

Yeosang lay on his tummy on the rug, building a crooked tower from alphabet blocks. His tongue poked out the side of his mouth in concentration, and the toy dinosaur that was still crowned like royalty stood guard over the growing structure.

Seonghwa sat nearby with his legs stretched out and one elbow propped on his knee as he watched. He wasn’t doing anything in particular, just soaking in the tiny huff of Yeosang’s breaths and the way his hair stuck up like a wild crown, the quiet hums that filled the space when words didn’t

“You’re very busy,” Seonghwa said softly, almost like he was talking to the breeze. “Are you building a castle?”

Yeosang nodded once without looking up from moving another block to the top.

Seonghwa smiled. “Does the king live there?”

This time Yeosang did look up and his gaze flicked from the dinosaur to Seonghwa, while his fingers tapped a fast, rhythmic beat on the rug.

Seonghwa tilted his head, voice gentle as falling feathers. “Who’s the king, hm?”

Yeosang just blinked at him, processing the words his father had said. He picked up the dinosaur and waddled over on tiny socked feet plopping it down in Seonghwa’s lap.

“Ohhh,” Seonghwa whispered dramatically. “King Dino has arrived.”

Yeosang smiled and climbed up into his father’s lap like it was the most natural thing in the world. He curled there into the warmth with his ear over Seonghwa’s heartbeat.

Then ever so quietly that Seonghwa almost thought he imagined it Yeosang murmurs “...Appa.”

The block tower toppled behind them, startling Seonghwa and making his breath hitch. His body went perfectly still, like the earth itself had stopped moving just to listen.

Yeosang didn’t notice the silence as he was busy tracing the stitches on Seonghwa’s sweater with one finger, humming softly.

Seonghwa blinked hard. “Wh… what did you say?” His voice cracked like thin ice.

Yeosang tipped his head back “...Appa.”

This time it was clearer and Seonghwa’s whole chest caved in with joy. A laugh tumbled out of him tangled with a sob he couldn’t hold back.

“Oh, Yeosang,” he whispered, gathering him close and his arms wrapping so tight and safe around his small body. “You said it. You said Appa.”

Yeosang pressed his face into Seonghwa’s neck. Seonghwa buried his tears in Yeosang’s hair, holding him like he was made of stars.