Chapter Text
A starless abyss. An unexplainable hollow warmth. It surrounded him; it was suffocating. He couldn't breathe.
All memories fade eventually, no matter how much you treasure them or hold them dear to your heart, they will be gone, if not through fading, then through death...
And just like that, the darkness was replaced by something. He couldn't make it out fully, a few lines of light shone through the gaps between the window and curtain. The starless abyss was gone. But the feeling of a hollow warmth was still there. He didn't really even comprehend where he was for a few moments, his mind still reveling in the starless abyss. But the undercurrent of thoughts finally hit him. It felt like a curse.
He was in his room. The morning light was shining in through a few cracks. It was a small amount of light, but it felt blinding. A multitude of plates filled with uneaten food sat on his table. The room was clean and tidy.
He lay in bed for a long while, he didn't know how long. Could have been minutes, hours? He didn't really care. He heard a knock on the door of his room. A woman's voice, undoubtedly his sister's, was heard. "Keitaro, it's time to wake up. You have to get going in a few hours." Keitaro tried to move his mouth, but it felt numb and useless, he didn't have the energy to move his mouth. So the call was left unanswered.
The door creaked open, and his sister stepped inside. "Keitaro? How are you feeling?" This time a response was heard, "I'm tired..." the words felt sluggish and weak on his tongue, he was basically forcing them out.
"I know, but..."
"Do I have to go?"
"Please go, you need to get out of the house if only for the duration of camp."
She was met with a cold silence. She walked over to the curtains and pulled them apart. Letting the morning light flood the room, revealing Keitaro in bed wrapped up in his blankets, the only part of him peeking out was his upper face, the newly formed dark eyebags sat beneath his eyes.
"Your friend wants you there, he really does care about you. Think about Hiro. He's worried, you haven't seen him since school ended."
"I know..."
"I'll help you out of bed, alright?
She was met with a light grunt of acknowledgment.
She moved to grab him by his shoulders and pull him upright on the bed and pulled the blanket off of him, revealing his sleepwear. "Let's get you dressed."
She brought a black long-sleeved shirt. She went on to remove his sleeping shirt. And guided his hands up so she could slip on the new one.
"I told the camp workers about your condition." She said that almost carefully, as if fearing the response.
"Why? I asked you not to." Said the boy, it seemed like he wanted to be angry but didn't have the strength to.
"So they could take care of you, I'm scared they'll push you too far." She said, looking into his eyes before finally pulling the tight, long-sleeved black shirt down from his arms and onto his torso.
"I...ok."
"You need to eat breakfast, let's go downstairs." She extended a hand for him. He took it.
He sat behind the kitchen table, a bowl of cereal lay in front of him, half eaten. He could hear a suitcase click and clack against the steps of the stairs as she dragged it down.
"I packed your things, let's get going."
Keitaro stood up and poured away the remaining food and stepped towards the front door.
The walk to the bus stop was short, yet it still felt tiring. The trees and nature passed by in a blur of green, he was pretty sure his sister said something, but he wasn't really listening.
They sat together at the bus stop for around ten minutes. He wasn't sure if the silence was uncomfortable or not. When the bus finally came, the driver stepped out to put the suitcase into the baggage area, and Keitaro stepped up onto the bus with one foot and then looked back to his sister.
"Please, have fun..." Those words were meant to be happy and encouraging, but he felt that there was an undeniable sadness behind them. She was only hoping for the best, she wanted him to get better, she wanted him to be happy.
"I'll try my hardest." He flashed her a small smile, it was the best he could muster. And with that, he stepped inside the bus.
That damn empty abyss again. It was all around him. He couldn't feel anything or think of anything. He actually liked it, the nothingness. It was a calm moment of rest in a world of-
"Last stop: camp buddy!"
Those words interrupted his slumber. He opened his eyes and hurried out of the bus. When the light hit his eyes, it was almost blinding, he grabbed his luggage and stepped towards the wooden gate.
CAMP BUDDY It read, he gazed up at it, the shadow of the sign stopped the light from shining into his eyes. "I wonder where Hiro is, I hope he isn't too mad at me," he thought. Then a cry pierced through the quiet.
"KEITAROOO!" He didn't even have to turn to know who it was, but he did anyway. As he was turning, Hiro basically tackled him, when they hit the ground, Hiro was on top of him. He was pretty sure he didn't do it on purpose, Hiro just gets like this when he's excited. He couldn't blame him.
"Hey, buddy..."
Hiro was hugging Keitaro now. "Oh, Keitaro, it's so nice to see you again!" He was basically panting because of how fast he had run to Keitaro.
"Yeah. It's good to see you too."
Hiro's eyes perked up to look at Keitaro's face at the distinctively unenergetic voice. His eyes wandered over Keitaro's face for a second or two, taking in the tired look and eye bags. A questioning expression befell his face.
"Since when have you had eye bags?"
"I got them sometime during the summer."
"Why, you look so tired as well."
"Most likely because I am, haven't been able to sleep well this summer at all."
Hiro shot him a small glance. There was a moment of silence.
Keitaro broke it. "Shouldn't we get up?"
"Oh, yes, of course." Hiro lifted himself off the ground and dusted off his jeans and offered a hand to Keitaro. He took it, and the other boy raised him up as well.
"Sorry for that." He said as he dusted off Keitaro's dark long-sleeved shirt. After that, Hiro looked around and up at the sign, then his gaze wandered to the sky and then the trees around them.
"Aren't you going to take a picture?" He points at the camera hanging from the other boy's neck.
"Why? There isn't anything special here."
"Of course it's special, it's the start of the most special and magical summer of our lives."
"Fine then."
They positioned themselves with their backs to the gate, standing next to each other. Keitaro turned the camera around in his hand as if to take a selfie, holding it at an awkward angle.
"Smile!" Keitaro looked to the side for a second to see Hiro smiling, and a small but real smile spread across his cheeks. He clicked the button at the top of the camera.
The camera clicked and then whirred as it printed out the photo. The two of them standing in front of the gate.
"Do you want it or...?" Hiro inquired.
"Yeah, you can have it."
Hiro grabbed the photo and shoved it into his pocket. Then looked at Keitaro and flashed him a big, almost childish grin.
"Let's get going then."
They started walking into the campground and eventually found themselves in a central field. There were two buildings, one was the mess hall, and the other was the scoutmaster cabin. It was surrounded by forest and trees, and in between them there was a small clearing that opened the view to a dock and lake, its water glistened and shined under the sunlight, and behind even that towered grand mountains. It was a sight to behold, truly. Hiro continued to stare at the beauty, but Keitaro had already looked away and was scanning his more immediate surroundings. He was the first to notice another man approaching.
"Hello, what can I do for you two?" The man wore a scout uniform and gave them a large smile.
"We are here to join camp buddy!" Hiro declared.
"You must be Mr. Akiba and Mr. Nagame."
"That's us." He confirmed.
"I have been expecting you, I'm Yoshinori, but you can call me Yoshi. I will be the head scoutmaster for your term. I'm going to go and prepare your lodgings and uniforms, I'll ask Natsumi to give you a tour. NATSUMI!"
There was a stillness in the area for a moment, but then a scout emerged from one of the cabins and hurried over. He was quite tall and lean but well built, his hair was kept to the side and upwards. You chouldn't really tell if it was just bad bedhead or an intentional stylistic choice. When he finally made his way over to the three men, he assumed an almost military-like stance.
"Natsumi reporting for duty."
"Show the new scouts around camp, alright?"
"Yes, of course, sir."
Then Yoshinori walked off into the cabin where Natsumi had come from. Both boys finally turned fully to face Natsumi.
"Hello, my name is Natsumi Hamasaki, it's nice to meet you two."
"It's nice to, uhh...meet you too." Keitaro spoke up for the first time in a while.
"Yeah, I'm Hiro Akiba, and he's Keitaro Nagame."
"Shall we start with the tour?"
"Yeah, let's go, Keitaro!"
As they walked around the campground, Natsumi kept explaining and talking about different parts of camp, the scoutmaster's office, and the dock, he even let them peek at the unfinished obstacle course. Hiro was pouncing around the whole time and asking questions from Natsumi, but once in a while he turned to his side, expecting to see Keitaro, only to realize that Keitaro wasn't keeping pace and was walking a good few steps behind them both, and most of all, he was being silent. This wasn't like Keitaro at all, he always had something to say, something positive, something nice. He didn't like the silence.
He wanted to hear Keitaro's sweet voice, the voice he had heard in his dreams so many times.
Maybe I screwed up when I ran over and tackled him. I really didn't mean to, I just got so excited. Maybe I made it awkward, maybe he hates me now, maybe he hated me before as well, he hasn't spoken to me at all since summer started.....get it together Hiro, this is what your mom told you about, stop overthinking. His hand had instinctivly started playing his hair pin, to him it was a constant reminder of Keitaro.
Keitaro was still trailing behind, nevertheless they made it to the mess hall. As they stepped inside, the smell of food hit them, it made their mouths water.
"Here we eat all our meals. Today I think there's pizza and rice if you wa-" he was cut off by a yell coming from the other side of the mess hall.
"Give me your slice!" The yell came from a purple-haired man, who was exceptionally muscular. His purple hair was spiky almost making him look like he had dog ears which was fitting because of the collar he wore.
"No, this is mine i won't give it to you! Where is your own slice?" The frailer and quieter voice argued back.
"I ate mine, and now I want yours!"
Natsumi turned to the newcomers "I'm sorry, Yoichi is stirring up trouble again, I'll go take care of it."
Natsumi walked over to Yoichi and started scolding him. Yoichi was not enjoying this in the slightest.
The other boy took the chance to slip away as he passed Keitaro. For a moment his attention was drawn away from the louder Yoichi and to the frailer boy who's now walking towards the door of the mess hall.
And for a second, Keitaro's heart stopped and the whole world slowed down to a crawl, he took in the essence of the other boy, his slender and thin body, his yellowish blond hair, and those...blue eyes. Which were watery, looking as if he's going to start crying any second now.
Keitaro turned his head to follow the boy as he exited the building and kept staring even as he became smaller and smaller in his view. Keitaro's jaw was hanging open just slightly.
Hiro was oblivious to this, he was still focused on the scolding that was happening just a bit away, slightly smirking at the almost humorous sight.
Natsumi finished and walked back to the two boys. One of which was still staring at the figure disappearing into the distance.
"I'm sorry you two had to see that, Yoichi just is like that when he's hungry."
"Who was that?" It came out as almost nothing more than a whisper, but Natsumi heard it and glanced over Keitaro's shoulder to see.
"That's Hunter."
"Hunter..." Keitaro repeated the name as if testing it.
Hiro, who now finally noticed Keitaro's behavior, turned and raised an eyebrow at this behavior, as did Natsumi.
What does this mean? Thought Hiro.
The moment of confused silence was eventually broken by Natsumi's interjection.
"Ummm, do you want me to show you the cabin you'll be staying at?"
"Oh, yes, we should probably do that."
The three arrived at the cabin. As they stepped inside, the warm and cozy feel of the cabin became more apparent, stepping in, to the left were the showers and bathrooms, and to the right opened the sleeping area. There were a total of eight beds, but only five had been made.
Two beds stood out because on them sat scout uniforms.
"Those are for us, right?" Hiro's voice was almost a squeal when he said it.
"Yes, those are your's, the one with the orange details is for you, Hiro, and the other is for Keitaro."
After that, Natsumi turned his back to them, giving them more privacy to change, and so they did. Hiro undressed quickly and down to his underwear whilst Keitaro kept his dark cotton long-sleeved shirt on. Keitaro was also pretty sure he saw Natsumi peeking at them from over his shoulder for just a second.
Now they were both dressed in their scout uniforms, although Keitaro kept the black undershirt on and Hiro kept the raccoon tail attached to his waist.
"Well I'm gonna go do my chores, you two can look around and do whatever you want for now, look around camp some more, talk to you new buddys." He said as he walked towards and out the door.
"We went to the mess hall, but we forgot to get food, let's go and get some."
"I'm fine, you can go. I'll rest for a little bit," responded Keitaro.
"I'll bring you back a slice or two, ok?"
"Thanks," and with that Hiro hurried off back to the mess hall.
Keitaro was left alone finally in silence like he hoped, now he finally let his gaze fully wander around the cabin until he spotted a tuft of blonde hair standing out from behind one of the beds. It's him. He felt his heart speed up, and his face went a bit red. Hunter...that was his name. I should go and talk with him.
Keitaro crawled out of his bed and walked slowly towards him. As he approached Hunter, his full body came into view, he was sitting next to his bed with his back against the wall. He also had a book in his hand, which he was so engrossed in, he didn't even notice the other boy approaching him.
"H-hi." I'm already stuttering, damn it.
"Oh, hello." He lowered the book down and closed it but left one of his fingers between the pages to keep track of where he was.
"Are you alright?" His voice sounded worried and lightly sympathetic.
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, with everything that happened with that Yoichi guy, you know, I was just worried."
"I-I'm fine, thank you."
Keitaro's eyes wandered to the stack of books beside Hunter's bed as well as the art supplies and then to the bed itself, on whiches blanket he could see the lightest wet marks. He had been crying before he came. His eyes move to Hunters eyes, they were a light radiant blue, and looking into them felt enchanting.
There was an awkward moment of silence, which was broken by the smaller boy.
"Hunter."
"What?"
"The name is Hunter."
"Oh, yes, I'm Keitaro."
After that there was an even longer minute of silence, but this time it was interrupted by the other boy.
"What are you reading?"
"Oh, this, uhh it's...weird, you won't like it."
"I like reading too, I'm sure it's not that weird."
"You like reading too? What do you think of romance?"
"I read romance, occationally."
"Most guys aren't into romance, but well, the story is about a cursed prince and his brave guardian knight as they adventure to help alleviate the curse of the prince, which is slowly killing him."
"That sounds...dark."
"I would say that the book is rather hopeful, actually."
"That's nice then," There was a pause.
"I haven't ever really had friends who share my interests or...even just friends at all."
"That's no problem, I'll be your friend." After Keitaro's statement a light blush came onto hunters face.
Then the voice of Hiro could be heard coming from outside as he approached.
"Keitaro, you won't believe what I just saw. There was a guy wearing nothing but an apro-"
He cut himself off as he noticed Hunter.
"Oh, hello. You're the guy who was being bullied earlier, right?"
"Yeah, t-that's me." Said Hunter, his voice was far quiter now that Hiro was here.
"What were you two talking about?"
"We were talking about the book Hunter was reading."
"Mhh, reading, that's so boring, every time I open a book I fall asleep on the first page."
"Oh..." he looked upset at the remark. "I think I should go." As he was leaving, he noticed that he had the same look as before, a wateriness in his eyes, but he didn't look as sad as the last time. He walked out of the door and turned towards the dock.
Hiro looked at him as he left. "What was that?"
"You just called his hobby boring, I think he was offended."
"Well, it's not my fault he's so sensitive, he should toughen up a little."
"Don't say that, Hiro, you're being mean. You should apologize to him."
"Ohh, Keitaro, you're too kind."
"Seriously man."
"Ok, ok. I'll apologize next time I see him." Hiro looked almost defeated.
"Good."
"Well I brought you a candy bar since they ran out of pizza."
"Thank you," he muttered as he put the candy bar into his pocket.
"We should go out and play, do something, you know?"
"Yeah, let's go look around some more."
They walked around camp for a while until they eventually found a spare set of badminton gear and played for a few minutes until Keitaro got too tired and didn't wanna play anymore so they just sat and talked for a while more. Eventually the sky darkened and they decided to go back to the cabin. As they entered the central plaza, they noticed Natsumi walking over to them at an unusually quick pace.
"Where have you guys been?"
"Playing," responded Hiro in an annoyed tone.
"Well, we have something special to show you. Come with me to the mess hall." So they walked there, from the windows they could see that inside was completely dark. Natsumi, with his quick pace went inside first. After that the other two also reached the door and stepped inside into the darkness. The air was still and quiet. Soft movements could be heard from the darkness. The door closed behind them, making the two boys let out a small yelp, now they were completely in the dark.
"N-n-natsumi?" Hiro's voice sounded shaky and scared. At the same time Keitaro was too caught up in the moment to say anything.
The lights of the mess hall turned on all at once, revealing everyone at camp all together. The room was filled with balloons and confetti. Then all in unison they screamed, "SURPRISE!"
A shock overcame both the boys, but in a few seconds the feeling passed, and they were left in awe at the sight before them.
"What is this?" Keitaro finally asked.
Yosinori stepped forward from the group of people. "We decided to give you a surprise party."
"B-but you really didn't have to, I mean..." At that point Hiro shushed him.
"Thank you, sir, for the party. Now let's go and have fun."
After that there was a lot of commotion in the building as everyone moved to do their own activities, whether it was dancing, eating, playing games, or just talking. Keitaro scanned the area, Yoichi was playing games with some of the other scouts, and Natsumi was standing over them, checking that the game didn't get too out of hand.
"I'm so hungry keitaro, let's go eat."
"But aren't we missing someone?"
"Who?"
"Hunter."
"Oh, that guy, if he doesn't want to come, then he doesn't have to, let him be."
"No, I'll go and look for him."
"Whatever," he muttered as he walked towards the food table. Why doesn't Keitaro want to spend time with me?
Keitaro walked back to their cabin in the dark, it was pretty cold. At least the black undershirt kept his torso and forearms warm. The same couldn't be said for his legs, which were shivering and covered only by the shorts of the camp uniform.
Finally stepping into the warmth of the cabin was a relief. As he looked around the cabin, he spotted Hunter lying in bed on his stomach reading his book. Keitaro's gaze couldn't help but travel along the curves of the smaller boy's slim body, the hairless pale legs, and above those legs, the cute round...
Why am I thinking like this?
"Hey, Hunter," he said as he walked over to his bed.
He was surprised for a second as he realized he wasn't in the room alone anymore.
"Oh, hi."
"The others are holding a welcome party for me and Hiro, you should join."
"I-I'm sorry, I'm not big on parties, I don't think I'll come."
"Oh well, ok then, but at least take this so you have something to eat." He pulled out the candy bar and offered it the to Hunter, the same candy bar Hiro gave him.
A small flush came onto Hunter's face. "T-thank you."
"Well, I'll go back to the party then. bye."
Keitaro made his way out the door and started walking back to the party, and Hunter was left sitting in the cabin. His eyes were focused solely on the candy bar sitting in his hands. The words Keitaro had said earlier that day were still echoing in his brain. "...I'll be your friend..."
Hunter sprang up from the bed and ran out the door as fast as he could, catching up with Keitaro halfway to the mess hall. Keitaro heard the footsteps and turned to Hunter, who was now lightly panting.
"I-I'll come to the party."
"Great, let's go then." Keitaro's face was now taken over by a small bashful smile.
They walked back to the party together. Hunter wasn't the most active, and Keitaro didn't have the energy to do anything, so they sat and talked for the remainder of the party, Hunter even ate some of the snacks. Eventually most people started getting tired and heading back to their cabins, and eventually everyone else did as well. The group got together at the mess hall, and they walked back to their cabin.
When they reached the cabin, Natsumi said, "Lights out is at 10:30. We have twenty minutes until then to do things."
The five boys gathered to sit on the beds of Hiro and Keitaro. Hunter sat the furthest away from Yoichi, most likely intentionally, but nevertheless the whole group was still engaged in lively conversation. A little before lights out, Keitaro remembered the suitcase he had brought along, which sat in between all five boys and the two bed which they were sitting on, still not unpacked.
Keitaro withdrew from the conversation and ploped the suitcase down and began to slide the zipper open. The contents were packed neatly and cleanly, it was good that his sister had agreed to pack it, because he always forgets something. There were multiple of the same black undershirt, which he was wearing right now, some sunscreen, money, swimwear, and underwear.
In the middle of everything lay a small bottle of pills, Keitaro recognized them immediately. The pharmceutical tag was covered by a small sticky small note. "please dont forget to take these, 2x a day, love ya" it was unquestionably his sister's handwriting.
When he realized that the others could potentially see the bottle right now, he shoved it away between some of his clothing and then looked to the other four boys to check if any of them had noticed. They all seemingly carried on with their conversation unaware of what just happened, Keitaro was relieved.
He continued to look around the suitcase, finding some money and his toothbrush. When he opened one of the small pockets at the inner side of the suitcase, he noticed a line of condoms squeezed into the bottom of the pocket, they also came with a sticky note. "Have fun (;" Goddamn her. Aside from all of that, everything essential was packed and there, so all in all it was good.
He closed the suitcase as Natsumi announced that it was time for them to go to sleep.
Most of them changed into something more comfortable whilst Keitaro, only slipped out of his scout uniform and put on some black shorts. To think of it, he looked quite monotone in the black full-sleeve shirt and black pants.
He was brought out of his thoughts by Hiro, "What's with the sweatshirt, Keitaro? I have never seen you wear something like that before."
"O-oh, it's just a bit chilly, you know. Gotta stay warm." His voice was a bit shaky when he said that.
Hiro let out a hum of acknowledgement, which but he didn't seem entirely convinced.
"Oh yeah, well, good night."
"Yeah good night."
They all climbed into their beds, and Natsumi shut the lights off. First the loud snoring of Yoichi was heard, which made falling asleep for the others difficult, but eventually sleep did take them.
Keitaros dreams were still filled with that starless sky...
In the middle of the night, a hand moves to open the zipper of Keitaro's luggage. Keitaro, who was beside him, turned in his bed, which made the boy freeze for a second, but realizing he was still asleep, he continued. He dug around between clothes until his hand felt a bottle of pills. The boy inspected it for a moment, then pulled the handwritten sticker off to reveal the pharmaceutical tag underneath. He held it up to the light coming in from the window to read it.
Prescription for: K. Nagame
Dosadge: two pills a day until the next session.
Contents: antidepressants (Escitalopram)