Archive of Our Own

It was maybe a bit pathetic for a grown woman to be spending almost every evening playing around in some kind of dream world of her own design. Well, okay, it was totally pathetic. Not like Alphys had ever considered herself much of anything else, anyways. And not like the dream world was exactly hers either... It was complicated. For all this world matched her niche interests and hobbies — the kinds of things that were reflected on the walls and surfaces of her messy apartment — it still felt like a foreign land. A world that would have just as easily rejected her if given half the chance. The vast rolling hardwood valley, the depth of the shadows and the dark places they led to; lucid dreams (or Dark World dreams?) could turn into a nightmare if one didn't know what they were doing with them. And Alphys didn't.

But she wasn't alone, either. Every time she woke up in this place, he was right there with her. Under the flashy lights of Tenna's stage the unpleasant realities hovering over Alphys' subconscious subsided. Between the two of them, there was always a new project to work on or a new game to play. Alphys was grateful, honestly, for the company. Even if her new friend was debatably nothing more than a product of her own overactive imagination projected onto the TV she'd found abandoned in the alley a few weeks back.

It was definitely pathetic.

Tenna was both exactly what Alphys would have expected from her own inner psyche and a bit of a surprise. Enthusiastic, sociable, and charming in a way that forced Alphys out of her shell, and anxious enough about 'putting on a good show' that she could immediately relate to him. He was also super moody? At first Alphys had thought her subconscious mind had been trying to teach her how to better handle her teenaged students with that one. On top of providing the social outlet she so desperately needed. It had seemed possible. Reasonable even, given the self-help webpages she'd found herself on some late evenings. But the more Alphys had learned about Tenna the less convinced she'd become that this was entirely all in her head.

Tenna knew things that Alphys could never have known herself, about the Dreemurr family, about the inner mechanics of a CRT and how to repair one. It wasn't entirely explainable, except to say the Dark World was more than it seemed. More than just a dream, even though she always 'woke up' whenever entering or leaving it. Alphys had tried looking it up as soon as the internet had come back online, but even the most obscure dreamwalker forums had nothing more concrete than wild stories and far flung theories. Honestly? It made more sense if she considered it as some kind of wonderland trope and left it at that. At least she didn't have to fall down a well to get here.

So, the Dark World, and Tenna, and all the time she spent with them was just another weirdo hobby she could never connect with anyone else over. But... it was fun?

Yeah, they had fun. Usually. Right now Tenna was the only one really enjoying himself, bobbing about the stage as he led her through some kind of DDR inspired game. Or killer workout, rather. This really wasn't Alphys' kind of thing, a fact made obvious by her embarrassing display tripping over her own feet and sweating through the neatly pressed white button-down shirt she always seemed to be wearing here. She was a terrible dancer and she knew it, but Tenna had been so excited about his idea that she basically had no choice but to go along with it. He'd slowed down the pace and simplified the moveset when it became obvious she couldn't keep up, which was nice enough, but it didn't stop Alphys from wiping out completely. She landed head over tail on the stage floor with a thud.

"Mike! Cut! Cut!!" The music screeched to a halt, and Tenna knelt all the way down to offer Alphys one giant hand as she untangled herself from the floorboards. "Wow! Too bad crash landings aren't a professional sport!" he laughed, "'cause you'd take home the gold every time!"

It was meant to be a joke, but Alphys found the heat rise on her face all the same. Hastily, she used Tenna's hand for leverage as she hoisted herself to her feet and brushed the dust off her skirt. Clumsy as ever, even in her dreams.

"Heh, yeah, um..." She panted, struggling for lungfuls of fresh air and wishing she had suggested something else from the start. "Uh, so... so who's Mike anyways?"

Mike. Tenna brought him up often, but had never really explained him. It was a better topic then how terrible she was at basic coordination, though. Or cardio. He might have been made of robotics, or imagination, or something, but it still felt unfair to know Tenna wasn't even winded after all that action.

Not winded, but not unaffected either. Tenna's screen went from a neutral glow to dark and empty as he processed the question. The stage lights shifted in melancholy. "Oh, Mike? Did I— Why the interest?" Tenna asked, "He's just a friend. Or, ah, he was a friend... Haha."

Shit! Clumsy as ever! Alphys cringed inwardly for the second time in about five seconds and tried to backtrack as fast as possible. "Oh god! S... Sorry! Y-You don't have to tell me! I just thought because you mention him so often, but of course you wouldn't talk to him anymore... Because you're here now. I sho— should have known..."

Search the whole globe over, there was no one more embarrassing or awkward than she was. Alphys was sure of it. Of course Tenna wouldn't have any of his old friends around anymore. He'd already explained to her that they got left back in his original home. It was just the two of them here. What was he supposed to do? Call Mike? She shouldn't have asked.

Despite her own racing thoughts, Tenna didn't ditch her then and there for her ignorance. He didn't even seem that annoyed. Gently he motioned for her to climb forward into his cupped hands — a move that had become somewhat practiced between the two of them — and lifted her up to screen level.

"Hey. It's okay." the lights were still dim, but his tone was bright as he smiled at her. There was definitely a type of comfort that could only be found perched in the hands of a giant robot man. "Might be nice to get it off my chest actually. If you don't mind."

Alphys was just lucky that this giant robot preferred dramatics over conflict. She shook her head and offered Tenna what she hoped came across as a sympathetic ear. "No! I mean, g-go ahead! Y... you can tell me whatever you want."

Whatever the story ended up being, it was time to learn about Mike.

So, Mike was surprisingly involved it turned out. In some ways, he was exactly what Alphys had expected him to be. An old coworker, Tenna's assistant, a friend. Just a guy he used to know and had been pretty close to. The more details Tenna gave about his history with Mike however... the more Alphys started to catch onto a certain kind of notion. A premise, you could say. It wasn't unusual for Tenna to start sounding wistful and longing when he spoke about his old life no matter what the topic, but when it came to Mike he was... Well, she could tell it came from a different place. This was just the kind of thing a woman of Alphys' sensibilities developed an ear for.

Tenna had a thing for Mike. She would have bet every Dr. How episode she owned on it. Including the audio recordings of the lost season 1 finale.

"Poor old Mike... I hope he's doing alright without me." Tenna sighed, having long since moved them from the stage to his tiny green room where he'd collapsed on the sofa with Alphys beside him. "You know, he goes a bit zany if he doesn't have enough work to do. I'll bet he's regretting walking out on me now. No one'll pick up the slack with me gone, and you can bet on that!"

Like an old married couple, huh? That was cute. Had they been meet-cute or slow burn, Alphys wondered. Slow burn was ideal for a workplace romance, especially given that Tenna had been the boss of things back then, but Alphys couldn't really see him as the type to take anything slow. Tenna had cooked up a cute virtual-idol inspired outfit, choreography, and scored a song just for the one game Alphys hadn't even really wanted to play tonight. Heck, he'd even made the whole stage area from scratch within one day of Alphys meeting him. Tenna didn't do things by half measures. He was kind of intense that way, actually.

It made the question an obvious one. Alphys had to know what kind of guy a Darkner like Tenna would be so interested in. Who was Mike, anyways?

"So... you guys were pretty close I guess, eh?" Was what she actually asked, because that was way more normal and unobtrusive.

Curled up on one end of a sofa that was threatening to buckle under his weight, Tenna was both the smallest and the largest presence in the room right then.

"Hah! That's one way to put it." An overexaggerated laugh before his screen filtered to an unnervingly blank expression, hum audible. "I always said, y'know, that I had no idea what I'd do without him... Well, I do now."

Didn't know what he'd do without him? This had all the trappings of an illicit workplace relationship and a messy codependency. B-but it wasn't right for her to get all worked up about a potential new ship when Tenna was on the verge of moping about him again right now.

"I guess... I wish I could have met him." Alphys offered, keeping an eye on Tenna's screen so she could gauge how awkward things were about to get if he really started throwing a pity party again. He had before, and come to think of it, last time it had been about Mike too. Wow, they really needed each other. That was so cute.

Tenna nodded. He was still pouting, but he wasn't getting dramatic about it. "Y'know? I get the sense a lot of people feel that way..." he replied, hand working its way up to fiddle absently at the short tie on his outfit. "Too bad, though! You'd have to go to Tori's place for that."

She'd thought it before, but it seemed very obvious right now. Tenna would have been happier if he'd been back at the Dreemurr household. O-or maybe somewhere else. A livelier home with more people for him to spend his time with. He was a social guy after all, and Alphys... wasn't.

"Sorry..." she mumbled, picking at a seam on one of the sofa cushions. Sure, she may have found him damaged and alone in the alleyway... but she'd still taken him back to her apartment without even asking. It was hard not to feel guilty.

"Don't be! I'm so glad you picked me up, Alphys. Couldn't be happier here!" Tenna jumped up from his seat with enough force to jostle Alphys out of her reverie. Always quick to theatrics, he crossed both hands into their now signature plus sign and beamed. "Sure, it's a bit harder running the show without Mike around, but in terms of audience... Well— That's smaller too actually. Haha! Works out, doesn't it?"

Wow. Okay, so she had to find some way to help out.

The words were out of Alphys' mouth before she'd had the time to consider if she was being an insensitive dweeb again. Blurted out in the space between them with all the eagerness of an idea for a new project. "About Mike... Maybe I could find him? Bring him over here, you know? T... through the Light World. Uh... If Mike's connected to an object like you are then it, um, should be possible? Theoretically."

Theoretically. But she was only basing that theory off of one Darkner and the stories Tenna had told her of his past. It didn't mean any of it was feasible or that this was the logic that Dark Worlds operated through — if they even adhered to logic at all. I-It was weird suggestion, she almost immediately regretted making it.

Tenna loved it. "Alphys! That's a FANTASTIC idea!!"

"Y-yeah!" Was it? It sounded a little half-baked even to her own ears. But Tenna's enthusiasm was like a force of nature, and it was for a good cause anyways. The sanctity of BL. "I'll do it!"

She could definitely figure it out!

Probably. It wasn't a hopeless endeavour. If Mike existed in the Light World — and Tenna was sure he did — then it was only a matter of finding him. Right? Of course, Tenna had never seen what he looked like in the real world, and neither had Alphys, but he had given her a detailed description of what he looked like in the dark to work off of. Mike was based off of a microphone. Which made sense with his name. He had a red bow-tie, a wide brimmed hat, and pink and yellow eyes. His big grin could light up a room, and he had cat ears and a tail. All in all, he sounded like a pretty unique guy, which should have made things easier.

Once Alphys had woken up again in her normal apartment with morning light streaming through her cheap department store curtains, she'd scoured the internet for any microphone on the market that matched those design notes. Pink, yellow, and red... cat ears... gimmicky. The answer seemed to be a Mew Mew: Kissy Cutie karaoke mic that had been released a few years back. It made sense, Alphys was sure of it. Months ago she'd lent Asgore her season two collection after talking his long ears off about the show at QC's diner. At the time he'd mentioned that the characters looked familiar, which had been a surprise to her. They must have bought the karaoke game for the kids back when it had come out. Crazy lucky. Those mics would be a collectors item in just a few years now that the game had been discontinued.

That had to be Mike. She was sure of it. Now all she had to do was get that Mew Mew microphone from the Dreemurr family living room into her own apartment. Yeah. Piece of cake.

"Hey, K-Kris... Can I speak with you? Just for a minute!"

It was the end of class on a Tuesday. The bell had just rung, and even though they'd slept through the second half of class Kris looked like they'd rather do anything else than have a conversation with their teacher right now. Kris shrugged towards Susie, who wasted no time hightailing it out the door before she was asked to stay behind too, and shuffled their way over to Alphys' desk.

There was a pretty good chance that Kris could help her out with the whole Mike situation, Alphys figured. She had to be subtle, but if there was anyone in the Dreemurr family who could understand a weird request, it was Kris.

It didn't make her any less nervous about asking.

"S... So... Don't worry about sleeping through class today Kris! You... um, you didn't really miss that much. I-I'm sure Noelle or Susie can, uh, fill you in." Start casual. She didn't want Kris thinking they were in trouble or anything...

Kris said nothing, just stared back at her coolly from under shaggy bangs. Typical Kris behaviour.

Okay. She could do this.

"A... Actually I-I wanted to ask for your help with something." she admitted, fumbling with one of the figurines she kept on her desk as she spoke. "I'm, uh, kind of planning a surprise for the c-class on Friday. I was... was thinking, instead of a lesson we could do, um... class karaoke... as part of a media studies project..."

It wasn't the most solid excuse in the world, she knew. And it came with the obvious drawback where now she actually had to organize a karaoke event for the class. The whole class was liable to devolve into chaos on Friday... But, it worked well enough! This was a perfectly reasonable scenario to need a microphone for. Or even two or three!

"I think... I think it could be fun?" Alphys continued, keeping her eyes glued to the task of 'organizing' her desk. "Um, but h-here's where I need your help! W... we're going to need a couple, uh, extra microphones. D-Do you think... you could bring some from home?" Another fumble and she narrowly avoided knocking one of her figurines to the floor — scrambling to re-right it. God, she wasn't selling this idea, was she?

"T-Toriel mentioned that, uh... you... you might have some we could use?" It was an ad libbed idea to invoke Toriel into the mix, but Alphys hoped it garnered her some credibility.

Again, Kris was silent for a long moment. When Alphys finally dared a glance over to them she found their expression unreadable and blank. T-that was typical Kris behaviour too, it always took them a bit longer to finally process new information. However, in the moment it had Alphys second guessing the entire operation. Was she really doing this? Was she going to rob one of her students just to make her TV happy? If anyone heard about this, they'd think she was insane.

"... Microphone?" Kris finally questioned, and Alphys found herself nodding along automatically. Desperate for Kris to understand the impossible.

"Y-yeah! Any microphones you have, uh, at your house. J... Just bring them in tomorrow and I-I'll get them set up."

Obviously she couldn't mention anything like the Dark Worlds to them, that would just make her look like she'd gone totally crazy. (As if her students didn't already think she was a big enough loser.) B-but! Crazy or not, she was hoping Kris' own weird energy could be enough for them to catch on. Or at least not ask any questions.

It wasn't working. The look Kris was giving Alphys was a mix of confusion and caution. "... Don't have any." they shrugged in response.

Oh— No, no no, that couldn't be right!

"Really? A... Any kind would work... Maybe even like, uh... a cat shaped microphone??"

This was it. They just had to tap into the same weird wavelength and maybe Kris could understand her. It had to work! She was willing it to work, putting that energy out into the atmosphere. In the name of BL. They could understand that, right?

Actually!! M-maybe it was better if she didn't consider that at all! It wasn't any of Alphys' business what kind of Dragon Blazers 2 media her students got up to reading outside of class! (Even if Toriel had asked her about it discretely once.)

There was a flash of recognition. A spark of familiarity caught in red eyes before their 'normal' air of bored neutrality took over again. "A... Microphone." Kris asked again, tone louder than it had been before. Almost like an accusation.

Alphys flinched back and tried to wipe her sweaty palms on the thighs of her pants. "Th- th... That's right! If... If you have one like that? L-Like, a pink and yellow one?? I think we could, uh, really use it."

Oh god, this was terrible. What if Kris thought she was trying to steal Mew Mew merch from them? She kind of was trying to steal Mew Mew merch from them — b-but she didn't mean it that way! She'd even scour the online auctions to buy Kris a new one if it came to it, she just really needed this one specific Mike!

If... If that was what Mike was. She could have gotten that part wrong. Then she'd just be the weirdo accosting one of her students for no reason. This had been a bad plan—

Kris was still staring at her. Slowly they brought both hands above their head, resting the back of each hand on their forehead and extending two fingers out like an approximation of horns. They wiggled both fingers out of time with each other, m-more like antenna, and asked again: "Microphone?"

This had been such a bad plan. What if Kris ended up telling their mother about this?!

"Y-You know! Never mind! I-I-I think we'll, uh, be... be fine after all." Alphys stammered out around the feeling of her heart in her throat. Her palms were clammy as she tried to wave away the absurd notion altogether. She was such a creep. "U... Um, I have... I'll just see if I can o-order some, actually. Th-Thanks Kris! You can, uh, go now."

Alright, so she'd gotten ahead of herself... This wasn't easy. It was impossible actually. Mike may have been just down the street in Toriel's living room, but how was Alphys supposed to get him? Wait until the next time Toriel invited her over and go snooping around the house? No. She wasn't about to do something like that. And she couldn't try to ask Kris for help again after that embarrassing display.

Tenna wasn't going to like it, and Alphys hated to go back on an idea when she'd been the one to suggest it in the first place, but... When it came right down to it she had to prioritize keeping her job over reuniting a former TV host and his right hand man who may or may not have been (but definitely was) also his soulmate. She just hoped he would understand.

After class the following day found her in a calmer state of mind. Alphys popped in from the staff room to grab her new assignment plan — she still had to make good on this karaoke idea after all — only to find Kris hovering over her desk. Hastily, they scribbled something onto one of her post-it notes and smacked it onto a random collection of objects. A random collection of objects which hadn't been laid out next to her computer monitor just 15 minutes ago.

"K... Kris?" Alphys lingered in the doorway, unsure of what she was interrupting. "Do... Can I, uh— What's up?"

Caught in the act. Kris jumped back from her desk with a grimace, and then, after a moment that was far too long they mimicked that same antenna motion with their hands from the day before. The one that reminded her of—

"Um, w-wait! Kris!"

Kris didn't wait. It was after school, past the hours when teachers had jurisdiction over their students. They brushed past Alphys and sidled out the door at a pace much faster than she had ever seen them move in class.

Um... Okay? What was that all about?

On her desk, Kris had left an assortment of items that Alphys couldn't make heads or tails of. There was three of them. A dusty old TV remote, so worn that the text had rubbed off from the volume and power buttons. A plastic figurine that looked like a cheap collectible from a cereal box (the figure was holding an instrument, but it looked like it had been chewed on or something to that effect). And to top it all off, a basic green die. If there was any context for the collection, Alphys sure didn't know it! Even more confusing was the note Kris had left with it all. 'Cat shaped microphone. Keep them together.'

Was... Had their weird energies actually resonated after all?? Had Kris understood her?

It didn't really make sense. None of these objects connected with the idea of a microphone in any real way. And there was no way that Kris could know about the Dark World in her apartment, right?

... Right?

Alphys stewed over it for a couple hours, mind racing with the reality of Dark Worlds and shared dreams while she went about the overdue errands that could literally not be put off another day. The trio of objects Kris had left behind stayed locked safely away in her suitcase. When she got home, Alphys took them out and placed them on the same secondhand table that Tenna was sitting on. She had no idea what she expected with any of this. It probably wasn't going to work. But anything was worth a shot, right?

Maybe it would all work out, after all...

When she woke up again in the Dark World, things didn't look the way Alphys had expected them to. For one, she didn't find herself in the backstage area like she normally did when she came to. Things had been moved around a little from the night before, and the place was dark, but Alphys could still recognize that she was lying on Tenna's stage. Cheek pressed to the same floorboards that were normally bright with spotlights and game lights — a glow that never really faded. Without Tenna around however, the stage felt a little more lonely tonight. At least, it would have, if Alphys hadn't been woken up by the sound of someone arguing.

Alphys pushed herself off the floorboards to a sit, smoothed out the creases on her velvet jacket and, once she had taken a good look around... tried to understand what the hell she was seeing.

There were three guys... three creatures sharing the stage with her. A green guy with a square head, a mechanical snake thing, and the dark silhouette of a man. None of them seemed to fit in with the vivid decorations and props dotted around the stage, and all of them were more interested in each other than they were the world around them. Who were these guys?

"No, Catbreath. I don't care what you heard about liminal spaces. If we go out there like this, we're sitting ducks!" Square-head complained to one of his partners, the shadowy figure, who muffled his voice behind a dark hand before humming a few tenor notes that sounded like the broken wail of a really messed up saxophone. A saxophone? Like a squished one?

"I don't care how lonely he must be! Take a look around — there's nothing else here! Nothing else! We'll get caught." Now that she was looking more closely, Alphys could also see little green dots on the square guy's head. Four dots on one side, five on another. Like a die. There was the figure of a man with an instrument that looked like it'd been chewed up in a vacuum and a loud green die on Tenna's stage with her. So did that mean the mechanical snake (with buttons, they also had thick rubbery buttons) was a remote?

These were the items that Kris had given her. Right! That made sense. Kris' TV had turned into a person in the Dark World, so it could have been expected that all their other stuff would too. In some weird fantastical way, it was almost logical. This was what Alphys had been hoping for when she brought them back to her apartment, she supposed.

But who were these three?!

She watched as the mechani— the remote shuffled their way quite literally into the argument the other two were having and threw a red hand up between them like a stop sign. One thing was certain, none of them looked like a microphone. Or a cat.

"Hey, da Boss is gonna need us soon." The remote finished with a shrug. "We should finds him."

For some reason, the die didn't like that. He dragged an exasperated hand down the side of his head and the motion actually made it roll from a 1 to a 3. "You idiots!" Alphys was sensing some dysfunctional group dynamics here. "How are ya gonna explain to Tenna how a zapper got over here?"

"Uh, same way dat Mike did?"

"M-Mike!" The name left her mouth on automatic, and Alphys bit the inside of her cheek once she'd realized with embarrassment how loud her outburst had been. No one had noticed her before, but now three heads all turned to look her way at once. She hadn't meant to interrupt their.... whatever they had been doing, but this was about the mysterious Mike. Alphys steeled her nerves and pressed on.

"A... Are any of you Mike??" she stammered, "I'm, uh, l-looking for him."

All three Darkners twisted back around to look at each other, then two of them responded at once. The shadowy figure smiled shyly and gave her a big thumbs up at the same time that the dice guy went on the defensive.

"Who wants to know? Huh? Huh??" Dice guy bristled. Alphys was starting to get the distinct sense that he wasn't going to make himself all that helpful.

"Uh, what?" she replied flatly. After taking a moment to fidget with the collar of her shirt, a top priority now that so much attention was on her, she decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were just confused? "I... I'm Alphys. I live here. You're, uh, kind of in m-my home." It was enough explanation, right? She had been confused about the nature of Dark Worlds too the first time she'd woken up in one. But these were Darkners (presumably), and Darkners always seemed to understand the liminal space they existed in.

Well, okay, maybe "always" was a strong word when the only Darkner Alphys knew was Tenna, but— but—

"Oh, you're the new Lightner, huh?" Dice guy asked, and Alphys let out a sigh of relief. Behind him the shadow guy waved, and the remote tilted their head with a polite "Nice ta meetcha."

Okay! So that was progress! Maybe these three could offer some insight after all to figure out this whole Mike situation. Maybe they'd be friendly...

"Kris told us that Tenna had a new home. I guess this is it." The dice sure was a talker, huh? He continued, glancing around the dark stage before waving a green hand dismissively. "Not much to see. You don't get so ambitious with the imagination, do ya?"

Or maybe not. Who were these guys anyways? None of them looked at all like the description Tenna had given her of Mike — so why had... Why had Kris dropped them off on her desk? And with that note?? Maybe this had all just been some kind of elaborate prank from Kris after all. B-but if that was the case, wouldn't that also mean they knew about the existence of Dark Worlds too? Despite the evidence, Alphys really hoped not... These places, they could get pretty dangerous actually. Deeper in the darkness there were 'nightmares' that preyed on insecurities and doubt. The few times Alphys had encountered those had been enough to keep her from wandering too far from the lights and safety of Tenna's stage altogether. And besides, Kris already spent enough time drifting off in class.

Worrying about it wasn't going to solve anything. Right now she needed answers and these three were the only ones around to give them.

"R-right!" Alphys put on her best stern-but-fair teacher voice, the one she hoped made her students recognize that she was actually an authority figure around here. "Tenna's with me now, and um, I'm trying to help him out so..." And here she looked past the shortest and most abrasive of the trio to plead with the other two directly. "Do... Do any of you know who Mike is?"

The little guy had an even stronger reaction to that name than Tenna did. He scrunched up his face so hard his eye had started twitching and looked about ready to start jumping on the spot. "Who's Mike? Who's Mike?! That's what I wanna know, sister!! But this isn't going to work the way your Dark World is set up!"

Oh god. Seriously, who were these guys? Before Alphys could muster up the voice to ask, the remote guy had interrupted their... friend? With a hand on his overexcited shoulder.

"Ey Boss, take it easy. We jus' got here. Maybe it'll be okay."

"Oh yeah?" Immediately back to arguing. These three were so loud. "There's no one else here! How are we supposed to operate in these conditions?"

By the time the shadow guy opened his mouth to add to the chaos with another musical cacophony, Alphys had a hand planted firmly over her eyes — pushing her glasses up to her forehead at the bridge. "C... Can one of you just tell me what's going on?" she groaned. "I don't know who you three are!" The Dark World could be enlightening and it could be threatening, depending on how deep you went, but it didn't usually end up coinciding with those recurring dreams Alphys had where her students wouldn't listen to her no matter how much she tried to get through to them. This was a nightmare!

From beyond her shuttered eyelids she heard a strangled burble of saxophone. Then the one who looked like Kris' remote (and not a microphone) straightened to a salute. "Sorry ma'am," they intoned, "Da name's Jongler. And 'dese are my pals, Battat and—"

"Alphys?" Tenna. Unmistakable, his voice rang out from somewhere in the direction of the Green Room and four heads immediately turned to look stage right. "Are you back? Didja bring a friend?" he called from offstage.

"It's da Boss!" Jongler gasped, scooting off the stage and behind the curtain that framed the large TV screen in a matter of milliseconds. The other two were quick to follow, with the shadow guy dragging a slack-jawed dice guy along with him (Battat? One of them was Battat. The Dreemurr family had some weird names for their... random objects). The sudden exodus left Alphys alone and confused on stage as the spotlight overhead washed it in a bright white light. For the second time since she'd "woken up" here tonight Alphys found herself with her hands over her eyes. This time to protect them from the spotlight flare of Tenna's grand entrance.

She really wished she knew what was going on right now.

"Ladies! Germs!! Hope you've got your popcorn ready and put the kids to beddy, 'cause it's now time for our Feacher Presentation!" Tenna started with his theme music, luckily a shorter version than the intro he'd stumbled his way through the first night they had met. By the time Alphys had rubbed the stars from her eyes and adjusted her glasses back onto her nose, there he was. Standing in his spotlight striking a dynamic pose parroted from the sentai show they had been watching last week.

"Hiya Alphys!" Tenna broke formation to shoot a wave down at her and then folded forward at the waist with his hands on the knees of his flashy asymmetrical boots so they could talk slightly more at eye level. "I thought school would never end today! But don't hold out on me! Where's your friend?"

How was she supposed to explain this? Tenna was smiling at her with all the brightness of a solar flare, and Alphys had brought in nothing but a trio of weirdos who didn't even want to meet him! They knew Tenna, right? They acted like it. Oh, crap, what if they were that mysterious ex-business partner that Tenna sometimes whined about? That person would have been some object in Kris' house too, right? That had to be it, it had to be something like that, and she'd brought them here without even checking first!

Alphys took a deep breath and forced her own wavering smile back towards Tenna. She twisted her fingers into the long sleeves of her jacket and hoped he wouldn't be too mad... "Well! Okay! F-Funny story!" she began. Tenna played the part of the enraptured audience. "So you know how I said— o-or I thought at least — that Kris wasn't going to be able to help out with our, uh, project?" Maybe if she didn't mention Mike directly he wouldn't notice that she'd totally failed to find him. "W... Well, i-it turns out they brought over—"

"Kris?? You saw Kris today?" Tenna interrupted. With his speakers fully repaired he played a little piano riff at the same time he said their name. Then he was in action again, dancing around the stage to look high and low, before nudging Alphys forward to look behind her as well. "How is the little devil? Did you bring them??"

Alphys stumbled forward a step and fought hard not to get caught up in the whirlwind herself, "No! No, I—"

"Haha! Well that's A-okay! Maybe some other time, right?"

Yeah, right. Alphys wasn't about to start inviting students over to her apartment any time soon, Dark World or no. But that wasn't the discussion they needed to be having right now, she had to at least tell him what was going on before things had the chance to get even more awkward. When motioning for Tenna to stand still for a moment didn't work, she reached forward tug the edge of one of his long coattails instead.

"Okay, so listen! T... There's these... K-Kris gave me these..." just how was she supposed to explain this? Tenna turned a blank screen on her and Alphys felt the heat race to her cheeks and choke up her tongue. "These... uh, guys are here." She finished lamely.

Naturally, it explained nothing. Tenna tilted his head in confusion, glanced around the room and even under once of his boots before asking: "What guys?"

"Mi-hi-hi-yike! That's right!!" A third person shouted from across the stage.

Standing in his own dramatic spotlight, materialized from the thin air around them, was a fat little man. He had a big red bow-tie, a combover covering his round head, and a huge cheesy grin on his face. In his hand he held an an equally happy microphone. W-was that—? Where had he?

"MIKE~!! ❤" Tenna was across the stage in an instant, his long stride carrying him over to scoop the smaller man up in a crushing whirlwind hug. He twirled in place and the ribbon on the back of his head spun with him, trailing a corkscrew pattern. "Oh I'm so happy to see you, Mikey!"

"Happy ta be seen, Boss!" Mike chirped back, looking relaxed enough in Tenna's hands to suggest he was used to being manhandled like that. He'd lost his microphone and one shoe in the flurry of Tenna's enthusiasm.

So this was Mike. But where the hell had he come from?! Alphys gawked and tried frantically to put the pieces together in her head as Tenna moved from cuddling Mike against his glowing screen to holding him out in one hand like a scruffed pet.

"Hey! Don't think I forgot, bucko! You quit on me!"

Oh right, the drama. Tenna seemed to attract a lot of it. Alphys had heard in excruciating detail about how Mike had decided to jump ship after some disastrous 'last show' in the Dreemurr living room. Just like she'd been told that out of all the Darkners in his old studio, Mike was the only one Tenna felt he could fully trust with anything. It was... It was really something. That kind of desperate affection was the exact trope that had kept Alphys up past 2AM reading fanfiction on more than one school night.

But... The real Mike didn't quite look like how Alphys had imagined him. W-well! He looked more like a microphone than those other guys had (where had they gone off to anyways?), but she had no clue where Tenna was getting "cat" from. No pinks, yellows, or hats anywhere on him either. Did she need to take time over the weekend to recalibrate his display or something?

What Mike did have was that wide toothy smile Tenna had described. "Quit??" Mike asked incredulously. His grin didn't falter. "No, no, boss! I was just—"

"And after you told me you'd never leave! How could you do that to me, Mike??"

Boss/employee relationship tropes were always so compelling. A power dynamic Alphys could enjoy freely since it didn't hit too close to home with her actual career as a high school teacher. And, only slightly diminished by the fact that Tenna was dressed as a 15ft tall magical girl instead of wearing a suit and tie. She wished he had some prawn chips, or popcorn, or something to eat while she watched the whole scenario unfold in front of her. Now this was entertainment.

Mike pat the cuff of Tenna's sleeves, as large as his own hands, reassuringly and the sheer magnitude of their size difference was not lost on Alphys. "Alright, I'll level with ya, Boss... It's no fun not workin' for ya! There's nothing to do! Nothing! That's why I came ta see ya!" Something was familiar about the tone of Mike's voice, but it wasn't until he'd raised that voice to a near-shout in the building excitement that it clicked.

Alphys pulled her mind out of the gutter where she'd been contemplating how small a service top could functionally be and lifted both hands to her mouth as the shock of it hit her. Finally, something around here was starting to make sense. Mike, he sounded just like that dice guy who'd been freaking out all over the stage just a few minutes ago! From this angle Alphys could see it too. Even though Mike's shoe had been flung across the stage, he was just wearing another smaller one underneath. This was just a costume!

So, what? He'd hidden with his buddies and then changed into Mike for Tenna? Was that it? Was she really bearing witness to an actual secret identity romance in action??

And how had Kris known about this?!

She watched, dumbfounded, as Mike waved an arm frantically through the air, in the same erratic manner the dice guy had, and tried to sweet talk his way back into Tenna's good graces. It was absolutely the same guy. "It was a mistake I tell ya! A mistake!"

It was working. Tenna's screen bloomed into a big open smile as he placed Mike back onto the stage floor with one hand and gave him a pat on the head with the other. Mike was blushing so brightly his rosy cheeks were plainly visible across the entire stage.

"Oh, Mike~ I could never stay mad at you." Tenna cooed.

Seriously? This was so shippable! If anything, Alphys was almost annoyed that Tenna hadn't spilled the beans about Mike to her sooner! But, it wasn't all bad. She had no problem with a good old slow burn after all — and the scene as it was presently unfolding reminded her of a few of those guilty pleasure 'The Symptons' doujinshis she had hidden on her computer. The loyal right hand man and his capricious boss? Yeah, it was kind of giving Mr. Blurns and Smathers... Nice.

Tenna only added to that scene actually, when he tightened his grip on Mike's shoulder only a moment later to remind him: "And now that you're my only employee you can never leave again. Alright? I'll know if you try."

Wow. Cute and controlling. No wonder that dice guy was so high strung, with a combination like that, Tenna must put him through his paces pretty often.

But Mike only smiled. "Sure thing, Boss!" he said, tone much sweeter than his alter ego's had been. With that settled, he shuffled his lost shoe back onto his foot as discreetly as possible, fiddled with his bow-tie, and asked Tenna, "Hey, say, say... What's with the get-up? Ya look kinda..."

Tenna looked adorable, but it was probably a far cry from what he'd worn back at their old studio if Mike's costume was anything to go by. Around here, the dark suit and combover stuck out like a sore thumb against a stage that was decidedly moe. In this Dark World, even Alphys always found herself in outfits that were much more flashy and fancy than what she was used to. Or felt entirely comfortable in.

Never one to pass up the opportunity for a good compliment though, Tenna struck a pose that showed off the best of his features. From his long legs and bow-kissed hip-joints to his cropped jacket over white leotard, to the big yellow bow cascading from the back of his head which bobbed in time with his antenna. And to top it all off, stars accenting every part of his outfit — including the one that sparked off the tips of his fingers as he flourished his pose with a snap-and-point. And, okay, forget what she'd thought before, now he was reminding her of that one filler episode from Mew Mew 2 that had always split the fandom. Too much fanservice, they'd said, ignoring the whole subplot where the writers had taken the time to make it lore accurate at least.

"Do you like it?" Tenna asked sweetly, only to be met with Mike and Alphys both nodding immediately back at him.

Mike gulped audibly, cartoonishly, and blushed even harder. "Y-yeah! Sure do!" he replied, and yeah, it was obvious. Mike had a thing for Tenna too.

"Alphys helped me design it!" Tenna continued, gesturing over in her direction bombastically.

Even though she'd been standing there the entire time watching their situation go down live, Alphys hadn't been ready for the sudden acknowledgement. Or inclusion. She yelped, straightening up as much as her near-perpetually sore back would allow, like she wasn't some weirdo who'd just been dissecting their entire relationship.

Predictably enough, Tenna wasn't a TV who noticed that kind of thing, too caught up in the magic of his latest performance as he clapped his hands and instantly changed costumes, first a maid dress, then a nurse's apron, then his Mew Mew cosplay (a personal favourite), before a final clap settled him back in his original outfit. He was kind of acting like a show off when he looked so good in everything he wore, but Mike definitely didn't seem to mind.

"The costumes around here are more showstopping than ever thanks to her!" Tenna explained, before leaning forward to stage whisper, "(in more ways than one.)"

Alphys cringed as a familiar pang of shame settled in her gut. She had grown accustomed to showing her more 18+ designs and games to Tenna as their friend— or well relationship had unfolded (though she hoped he might consider her a friend by now, at least a little). There wasn't anyone around Hometown who she could share these kinds of interests with, after all. And she even come to find some satisfaction in his scandalized reactions. I-it was fun, honestly.

With Mike in the picture now (and those other two?? Where did they fit in?) Alphys was finally being forced to reconcile with the full force of her own cringiness. It wasn't pretty.

"You'll get used to it now that you're here, Mike." Tenna grinned, oblivious to the crisis situation he'd just created within her.

If Mike was who she was absolutely certain he was, then he'd already proven himself to be the type who was quick to judge. That dice guy seemed like he'd be critical of everything... He'd probably drag those weird friends of his in on it as well, and there went Alphys' safe haven for her hobbies. Did Tenna have any idea about the secret identity thing? Given the way that guy (Battat? Was his name Battat?) had been freaking out about it to the other two, Alphys doubted it.

S-screw it! She wasn't about to get intimidated out of her own apartment by a guy named Battat of all things! She'd just have to show dominance. Own it! T-that's right! She was the reason behind Tenna's upgraded and totally adorable new fashion sense. And she'd do it again!

"I, um, I take my inspiration from multiple sources." Alphys explained instead, doing her best to maintain the tone of a confident woman.

And it worked! Maybe. Mike took an uncertain look between Alphys and Tenna both before plastering that big grin back on his face. "... I'll say!" he stammered, uncertain but uncontesting.

With that settled, Tenna was a flurry of motion once more, dancing his way over to Alphys to gingerly clap her on the back with one giant hand. The force of it was still enough that she had to scramble to keep her glasses from sliding down her nose.

"You finally found him, huh? I can't thank you enough, Alphys!" Pleased enough with himself there was even a flower blooming from the tip of his nose. Tenna was the happiest Alphys had seen him all week, and she couldn't help but smile back in return.

"I'll tell you, now that I've got Mike helping out I'll really be able to upscale our games. More action! More excitement! More slash fiction and all that other stuff ya like!" Tenna sang. Clearly her art practice and figmas weren't the only things Tenna had been taking notes on. Excitement ran through him like an electric current, and he couldn't help but share in it. "Oh! I've got it! We should do karaoke tonight to celebrate! Just give me a couple o' secs to get things set up back stage. You're both gonna love this!"

Decision made, Tenna began to float offstage again, taking his excitement with him in the same direction he'd entered from. He stopped short just before the curtain as a final thought hit him.

"And Mike? Don't forget to change your costume too."

Wait. Had he just—?

Mike was similarly stunned. "... M-my costume?" Alphys heard him murmur from behind her. No pep or pizzazz to his persona's voice this time. He sounded like he'd just been punched in the gut.

Wait, wait, wait— Did that mean Tenna knew after all? How long had he known? Was he the one who was fooling Mike instead?? Or was this the type of revelation that could only be made by their isekai situation? Alphys had to know.

But it wasn't quite any of that, because Tenna crossed his arms in a theatrical display of annoyance and sighed knowingly. Through his speakers it sounded a bit tinny. "We do anime here, Mike." Massive oversimplification. "You gotta make sure you fit in." He tapped a foot, thinking over the problem for a moment or two. But was it even a problem in the first place? Alphys didn't fit in either. At least she didn't think so. Maybe everything they did around here was to her interests, it was her apartment after all, but she could never pull off even half of the stuff Tenna did so well! If anything, Mike being overweight and out of place felt more familiar to what Alphys was used to. (She could even relate to feeling like an imposter too).

Then like a flash, Tenna snapped his fingers and lit up again. "I know! Why don't you switch to your cat outfit for now. You can be my animal sidekick!"

And with that revelation he was gone again, humming as he went backstage to set up the song rotation, and leaving Alphys alone with... Mike.

Mike. Who was starting to look more and more uncertain of the situation he'd been pulled into. That big smile had dropped into a grimace as soon as Tenna was out of eyesight. He stuck out among the backdrop, fitting better into his Mike costume than Mike did the environment around them. Well... Mike hadn't asked to be brought here either, presumably. An imposter caught out of place and struggling to stay under the radar. Alphys could almost feel bad for him.

"S-so, um..." she started, awkwardly, because one of them had to say something, "Cat outfit?"

The question left her mouth and immediately in response there was a rustling from the direction of the stage curtain. A shadowy figure tumbled out, looking like a tall anthropomorphic feline, with a white belly, a red bow, and a microphone head in place of each paw. The cat sang a few familiar broken notes, and "Mike" started shouting on the spot.

"No! I don't want to hear it, Pluey! Tenna's wrong, Mike is not going to be a cat!"

Pluey had pink and yellow eyes, cat ears, and a tail. He pranced over to where his friend was shouting at him to ruffle "Mike's" hair, and the entire headpiece moved with the action. Mike swatted the offending paws away and muttered something about how "Cat Mike was an unsubstantiated theory".

Um, what?

Alphys did not have to wait long for an answer. Jongler shuffled out from behind the curtain next, wearing a wide-brimmed cowboy hat, a familiar red bow-tie, and a headpiece that made their head look like it was... a microphone. "Whaddabout me?" they questioned, "I'm Mike toos."

No... No way. All three of them?! It couldn't be.

"No! No! This isn't going to work!" Battat complained, echoing some of Alphys' own thoughts as she took in all three of them standing together in their corny costumes. How did this work? How did any of this work?? "There can only be one Mike at a time!"

'Keep them together', that's what the note Kris had left her has said. But how did that operate without totally convoluting the secret identity part of the whole Mike situation? And what about Tenna?? Did... did he know there was three different Mikes, at least? He had said 'cat outfit' not 'cat Mike' so there was no way he knew, s-somehow. How did that work?? Had he just never seen the other two around? Then why did they need their own costumes? Did he have a thing with them as well?? A thousand and one theories burned through Alphys' mind in an instant — this was way more than she had bargained for when she had offered to help out with Tenna's Mike problem. Secret identities and some kind of polyamorous love triangle?? T-talk about catering to a woman's tastes!

"I's gotta theory about 'dat, Boss." Jongler said, and Alphys was getting really curious about what their relationship was like with each other too. She needed a shipping chart. "We're in a new Dark World, right? So maybe in this Dark World... 'dere is three Mikes."

Battat threw a scathing look in their direction. Pluey shrugged non-committally. "Do ya REALLY think Tenna is gonna BUY THAT??" he asked. At the constant volume they managed to reach together, Alphys had to wonder how they'd never been caught by Tenna before.

"Uh, maybe?"

It was here Battat finally gave up, smacking a hand to "Mike's" face in exasperation. "Well I don't have a solution for this! Whatever!"

"Um, h-hang on. Let me get this straight..." Alphys had been forgotten in the commotion, which was just as well when she hadn't been doing anything but ogling their situation in the first place. She made herself known now as their mostly one-sided argument dropped to a standstill. This was her dream after all, her Dark World, and she had to take some responsibility. For BL. "Are... all three of you Mike?" she asked, just to make sure she had gotten at least that right.

Standing side by side, the three of them certainly looked more like the Mike Tenna had described for her a week ago. A Cat Mike wiggling in place like he was just waiting for a tune to dance along to, a Cowboy Mike with their arms crossed over a broad chest like some kind of gentle-and-dependable bara, and a Small Mike who always had a lot to say about everything. Yeah, that was Mike.

Mike — Small Mike — sighed and adjusted the head of his costume back into place. "No, that's ridiculous." he explained, "There can only be one Mike. So... we just take turns pretending for Tenna."

Okay. Alright. So...

No, that still didn't explain anything, actually. Why did there need to be three of them? Alphys let loose a bubble of laughter, more out of absurdity than anything really humorous, and asked the only question she could think of that wouldn't immediately devolve into shipping discourse and conspiracy theories.

"... Why?"

Why? Why go through all the trouble? Because they had made a pact? A bet? Because they had all been afflicted with the Mike Curse? Or they were all secretly in love with each other first?? She had to know.

Jongler answered first, twisting their boxing gloves together shyly. Beside them, Pluey his his face behind microphone paws and blushed right through his costume. "Because we likes him." they admitted.

"No we don't!!" Battat insisted, frantically pointing an accusatory finger at each of his partners. And seriously? This could have been more 'Obvious Denial' if it tried. "These two are idiots! It's because Tenna gets all mopey and crazy if Mike isn't around. That's the only reason!" He was serious, or trying to be at least, but Pluey honked a sharp note and leaned over to clamp his cat mouth on the side of Battat's Mike head. Unsurprisingly it devolved into a scuffle.

Wow. Moe meets tsundere meets baka meets furry — this might have been the greatest crackship since that time everyone had started shipping Mew Mew's ancient eldritch bishounen rival (from that one movie with the time travel of course, not canon, and really that had only made the whole movement weirder) with himself.

"Anyways," Battat wiped the residue from cat-tongue off his fake cheek and frowned. "It doesn't matter now. How are we supposed to keep out identities secret in a Dark World this empty? It's over."

Maybe. If they had been in the middle of anyone else's Dark World, but Alphys had been a yaoi warrior since the days of mail-in zines. She knew all the tropes there was to know, and how to exploit them too.

"Fellas." she assured them, finally feeling like she was back in the driver's seat of her own subconscious reality. "If you want to pull this off... You're gonna need the help of a real fujoshi."