Archive of Our Own ^beta

“D’you think exoplanets are real?” Galatea blurted out suddenly, setting down the small asteroid—Hrachov the Rocky—to address roughly the entire small group of moons at a whole. Which was sort of annoying because Proteus’ own asteroid—Mr. Janceen the Third—was supposed to be fighting him after Hrachov cheated on him with Amarina the Medium Sized. He was pretty sure Galatea was playing Hrachov to be as annoying as possible.

Proteus blinked, nearly losing his grip on Mr. Janceen, only barely catching it before it crashed into Hrachov. “Huh?”

Pausing mid word in her dramatic narration of the battle, Despina squinted at the two asteroids, before turning to Larissa. The larger moon pushed herself up from where she had been laying on her stomach cheering on Hrachov, opening her mouth to say something—

“We’re exoplanets!” Nereid immediately cut in, shoving Proteus aside—hang on, where did she come from?—to join in the smaller circle of moons. 

“Hey, that's my spot! Get your own!” He pushed her face away from his—Nereid barely reacted, tilting her head at Galatea, who stared blankly at her. “Wait… what did you say?

Nereid hummed, letting him shove her aside, before sliding back in to half lay on Proteus’ side. “We’re exoplanets!” 

A brief moment of silence filled the void—punctuated by the distant sound of someone laughing—as Galatea opened and closed her mouth a few times. Larissa looked between the two of them, then started a staring contest with Despina. Nereid’s discarded pencil and pad of paper floated by serenely, hitting Despina in the face. She shrieked, clutching her own asteroids close to her chest as she jumped, a clank echoing through the void as she knocked into Proteus’ left arm.

“That’s not what I meant,” Galatea huffed, crossing her arms. “I mean like the ones in stories. Who aren’t part of any system and go around in the dark terrorizing the universe! Like Hrachov and Amarina.” 

“Amarina’s not an exo—” Despina started, sounding annoyed, only for Nereid to cut her off. 

“But we’re still exoplanets, aren’t we? Outer—” Nereid broadly gestured towards the Kuiper Belt as a whole, before pointing directly at something. “—And that’s a planet!”

Proteus joined Galatea, Despina, and Larissa in turning to see whatever it was. In the far off distance, Neptune could be seen—Oh wow, he looked small enough to fit in Proteus’ hand!—picking something up and putting it in one of his pocket bags, before doubling back to lean down and stare at something else. 

“…that's just Neptune?” Larissa offered up, looking sort of uncertain about her answer for a second. “He’s not an exoplanet? I… Don’t think we are either?” 

“You’re not trying hard enough,” Nereid said, calmly reaching over and stuffing her notepad into one of her jacket pockets. “Words aren’t solid. They’re wiggly.”

“Nereid I honestly have no idea what you’re saying.” Galatea said flatly, picking Hrachov the Rocky back up and spinning him in her hand. 

Nereid shot her wide eyed smile that was clearly at least partially inspired by Neptune—Wait, wasn't Proteus supposed to be watching everyone? 

He surreptitiously leaned somewhat to the left, roughly skimming the void. Uh… Hippocamp looked fine. There was some sort of big game of tag that Proteus was pretty sure the smaller moon had started. As he watched, Hippocamp bodily tackled Laomedeia, who let out a high pitched shriek, immediately tagging the nearby Sao before running away herself.

Sao let out a curse—which earned him a silent look from a distant Triton—dipping his head in faux bashfulness before turning to chase a screaming Neso. Okay, everyone was doing great! He didn’t forget to check or anything.

“Maybe exoplanets are just like normal planets?” Proteus asked, turning back to Galatea and Nereid. He sort of wanted to go back to playing Exoplanet Warriors but Galatea’s question would probably bother everyone so much that the entire drama would get messed up to accommodate it. And dramatic love triangle stories were Proteus’ favourite.

“Ughhh that’s boring…” Despina muttered under her breath. She froze as the other four moons all turned to look at her, her surface brightening as she ducked her head, grabbing onto Larissa’s arm and half hiding her face behind the slightly larger moon.

“Like Hrachov and Amarina! Oh and Neptune! And Uranus! And Pluto and Miss Charon!” Proteus continued, purposefully addressing Galatea only as Despina slowly slid so that she was practically laying on Larissa. “Normal planets.”

“I think only… Hrachov…? Is an exoplanet?” Larissa started, as Despina frantically nodded in agreement, arms wrapped around Larissa in a way that left the other moon awkwardly unable to move her own arms. Larissa really didn’t seem to care that much. 

“Yeah but why would they want to be a normal planet when they could be all dramatic and terrorize other planets?” Galatea said, her tone of voice changing to something that usually meant they were about to start a multi day long argument about something. “Wouldn’t that be more fun?”

“If I was an exoplanet I think I’d want to make friends!” Proteus said, shrugging. His left hand accidentally hit Nereid—she somehow snuck into his blind spot, he kept doing that, he really needed to check more often—the clink of rock echoing through the void. “Being mean’s only barely fun in games and that’s only ‘cause I know that nobody’s actually getting hurt!”

Larissa looked between the two of them, before shooting Galatea a mildly apologetic look. “I agree with Proteus here… I don’t know why an exoplanet would just appear and be mean…?” 

“For the drama!” Galatea shot back, shoving Hrachov into one of her pockets, turning to gesture towards Despina. “‘Spina, tell me you’re on my side here? Nereid?” 

Despina shrugged, leaning even more against Larissa. “I’m not gonna take a side yet.” 

“Why don’t we ask an exoplanet?” Nereid chirped, a sly smile on her face. 

“H-What?” Galatea said, her mouth opening and closing. “Nereid for the last time none of us are exoplanets?” 

“Not us, there.” Nereid pointed at somewhere far off in the distance, past Galatea’s head. 

She whipped around, the end of her scarf slapping against Larissa’s cheek. Proteus couldn't actually see anything other than Neptune, who was floating somewhere. The distant ice giant suddenly stopped, one of his arms jolting upwards, his mouth opening to say something which was lost in the distance between them. Something orange appeared nearby Neptune, looking pretty much as big as Neptune himself, and Proteus felt his mouth fall open, no words making their way out. 

“Huh?” Larissa said from beside him, clearly having more words than Proteus. 

In the far off distance, Neptune tilted his head, saying something to a completely unfamiliar planet. Their atmosphere was a bright orange, dotted with black patches, a strangely vertical ring looping around their head. They said something in response to Neptune, their long orange hair moving slightly in the void as they gestured something. 

“Is that…?” 

“An exoplanet, yes!” Nereid said cheerfully, breaking the strange silence that overtook them all.

After a moment, Proteus noticed that it really was silent, the distant sound of the tag game pretty much every other moon was in was gone. He turned around, only to find a small crowd gathered, all staring in silence at the distant orange figure. Hippocamp turned to the moon next to him—Halimede, opening his mouth to say something. Without looking, Halimede reached out and grabbed Hippocamp’s head and turned it back to face whatever exchange Neptune was having with the orange exoplanet. 

“W-Oh stars…” Triton’s voice said and Proteus could feel the larger moon quickly stand up before the other pulled in his gravity. 

Proteus turned to look at him, the strange silentness of the void felt wrong. Triton wasn’t supposed to be the only one speaking. Triton made eye contact, visibly holding back some sort of sigh as he looked away, pinching his nose. “Naiad. Thalassa. Come here.” 

The two named moons jolted upwards from where they had been slowly drifting further from the two groups. Thalassa turned sheepishly towards Triton, one hand covering the bottom of her mouth. Naiad didn’t bother to take her eyes off of Neptune in the distance. 

Triton gave her a look, before jerking his head towards Proteus. Thalassa nudged Naiad, whispering in her sister’s ear as Triton did some sort of sweep, before speeding off towards somewhere. It looked sort of in Neptune's direction—

“Huh,” Galatea finally said, drawing Proteus’ attention back to the small circle of moons. “I guess we really can ask an exoplanet…” 

“What if they’re a mean one who likes to terrorize other planets? Like you said Gal…” Larissa started, her voice trailing off into the silent void. 

Galatea stayed silent, turning back to stare at the distant orange planet, now deep in some conversation with Neptune. “I… don’t know?”