Archive of Our Own

The celebration of life was actually Abuela’s idea. 

It had been a tradition, almost. She had told Eddie a few stories of funerals she had been to when she had gotten back to LA a few weeks ago, after he had told her about Bobby’s. She had said that, after the tear-filled, stuffy procession and burial with the church, the family would gather at her mother’s home. They would cook and drink and laugh and remember the life of the person that had passed. Honoring them through celebration—through joy—after shedding their tears and sending them to God. 

“He would not want you to be sad forever, Eddito,” she had said, “You of all people know that grief persists, but you and your family should celebrate him. Remind yourselves of his love and his life.”

So they did. 

Eddie still isn’t entirely sure how it got pulled off. Somehow, the entire station is offline for the party and every shift is in attendance. Not everyone worked directly with Bobby as much as the core four had, but even the members of the 118 that had only really seen him in passing were there in support. Bobby had touched a lot of souls in his time as captain, and it shows in the bustle of people filling the station. Besides the actual 118 staff, extended family, and friends, a few faces Eddie recognizes from dispatch are here, bumping shoulders and eating food and sharing stories and tears and laughter. His own family (minus his parents) are in attendance and Eddie had made an abrupt U-turn when he spotted his abuela talking with Athena’s mother of all people. By the looks of it, it’s an interaction that he’s sure he’ll hear about later.

He ends up on the outskirts of a conversation with Maddie and Karen, listening and humming along as needed but not actively participating. There’s still grief sitting deep in his chest, but he feels warm and happy, almost glowing from the love all around him and the drink his sister had wordlessly pressed into his hand before disappearing into the crowd. 

That was a big reason for his cheer, actually. Both Adriana and Sophia had come to LA with Abuela, two u-hauls full of boxes trailing behind them. All three of them had dropped hints about moving while he had been in El Paso, so Eddie was really only shocked that it was happening now instead of in a few years like he had expected. They were staying with Pepa for the time being, and Eddie is almost disgustingly excited about the little bubble of LA Diazes getting that much bigger.

He’s still thinking about it now as a fond smile graces his face. Maddie is telling Karen a story he’s already heard, so he lets himself tune out just a little as he thinks about how much happier Abuela had been when she surprised him at his front door, his sisters horribly hidden behind her small frame and Adriana’s husband waving excitedly from one of the cars.

Maddie breaks him out of his stupor with a knowing hum. “I know that look,” she says, shooting him a smile full of mischief. “What happened this time?”

“Oh,” Eddie starts, trying to school his face into something less gooey. “My sisters are moving to LA with my Abuela.”

“Eddie that’s amazing!” she says, eyes going wide and excited in an expression that Eddie has seen a million times on a completely different face. 

“Yeah, I’m really excited,” he sighs, completely failing in his endeavor to school his features. 

“Rightfully so,” Karen says, lifting her glass to him. Maddie does the same, and as Eddie raises his glass to complete the little cheer, he catches them exchanging a knowing glance. 

He opens his mouth to ask them what that was all about when he feels something odd. The back of his neck tingles like someone is watching him and something in his gut turns. It’s almost anxiety but not quite, like he’s aware that something has happened but he has no idea what. 

Like a jedi, his mind supplies in a voice that sounds a lot like Buck. There’s been a disturbance in the force!

Eddie glances around the room, expecting to see something drastic like a kitchen fire or something equally as ironic and worrying, but as he scans the room he sees nothing of the sort. He continues his scan, catching Hen’s eye at one point and shooting her a smile. The feeling doesn’t go away though, so he excuses himself from Maddie and Karen and starts to loop the room. 

He’s up in the station loft, so he weaves through the kitchen first, pausing to grab a little stack of meat and cheese from the charcuterie table and to plant a loud kiss on Abuela’s cheek before whisking away. Head on a swivel, he finishes checking the loft but the feeling still remains. He heads to the stairs, pausing at the top to get a bird’s eye view of the lower level. Everything seems fine, nothing about the sea of people below him screaming danger. But there’s still something going on. Eddie can feel it in his bones. 

His eyes feel drawn to a corner by where the ambulance is usually parked. It’s not there currently, so he can actually see said corner from his viewpoint and his eyes catch on the pink of Sophia’s dress in the almost-shadows there. She’s on the edge of the crowd, talking to someone that’s blocked by another person that Eddie doesn’t recognize. She looks concerned, almost sympathetic but not quite. More like she’s figured something out or gotten information that she’s not supposed to know. Eddie recognizes it from their childhood and it immediately makes him curious and he moves to head down the stairs. He has to look away for a moment after almost running over a group on their way up, and by the time the traffic jam clears and he looks back over he can finally see who Sophia is talking to. 

It’s Buck, who looks more scared than Eddie has ever seen him. Their eyes lock and Eddie watches in confusion as Buck somehow gets even more scared, his shoulders tensing up towards his ears. They’re both stuck there for a moment, caught in whatever this exchange is. Eddie is the first to move, finally taking that first step down the stairs and as he does, he watches Buck nearly jump out of his skin as he turns abruptly, stumbling for a moment before racing out of the station. 

Eddie is down the stairs and next to Sophia in a heartbeat. He’s not even entirely sure if his feet touch the ground of if he has somehow unlocked the ability to teleport with how suddenly he appears at her side. She’s nervous and jumpy, hopping away with a sharp gasp as Eddie surprises her. 

“What happened?” Eddie asks, voice gentler than he expected it to be. He’s reaching out for his sister before he realizes it, his hand coming up to cup her shoulder as he searches her face for some sort of explanation. 

“I don’t—I didn’t—Eddie, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” she sputters, wringing her hands as she looks back and forth between Eddie and the doorway Buck had disappeared through. 

“Woah, woah, woah, hold on,” Eddie says, turning to face Sophia head on, both hands on her shoulders now. That feeling in his gut—that disturbance—is back tenfold. “It’s ok, slow down and tell me what happened.”

“I swear, if I knew then I wouldn’t have said anything,” she starts, looking up at him with wide, worried eyes. She doesn’t really look scared, just worried and nervous. Almost like she broke something. “I thought you told him.”

Well now Eddie’s just confused. He squints at his sister, trying to remember what on earth he had neglected to tell Buck that warranted that reaction. Buck knows all of Eddie’s deep dark secrets. They had gotten a bit drunk about a week ago and had sprawled out in the grass in Eddie’s their backyard and dumped everything out haphazardly. All of their fears and all of their feelings had been bracketed by more tears than Eddie would probably ever admit. Frankly, it was the only reason he had been able to feel anything other than grief and guilt this evening. 

So all Eddie can really ask is, “tell him what?” Because, truly, he has no idea. 

“Do you—“ Sophia starts. She pauses, closing her eyes and shaking her head like she’s trying to reset her mind. When she looks back to Eddie, the anxiety in her eyes has been replaced by that same almost sympathetic look that she had given Buck earlier. She stands tall, taking a deep breath and gently grabbing one of Eddies wrists before continuing.

“Did you really not tell Buck that you’re in love with him?”

Eddie flinches back like she tried to slap him, blinking rapidly. “I’m not—we’re not—we’re just friends, Sophie. I don’t—I’m not—“

He can’t get the words out. He’s trying to say that he’s not in love with Buck, that’s crazy. If anything, Eddie loves him like he’s a broth—like he’s the brot—like he’s family. Buck’s not his brother, he can’t even say that in his head. He’s—he’s Buck. That’s his person. 

Sophie grabs his other wrist and tugs Eddie farther away from the crowd. She pulls him into one of the supply closets, flicking on the light and shoving the doorstop under the door as a makeshift lock before turning on her heel to face Eddie. She puts both hands on her hips and heaves a sigh, leveling him with a gentle look. 

“It’s really not that crazy,” she says. Eddie looks at her with wild eyes, opening his mouth to speak. She cuts him off before he can, a determined tilt to her stance. 

“You talked about him all the time when you were in El Paso. More than you ever talked about Shannon. We literally couldn’t do anything or go anywhere without you mentioning Buck.” Eddie tried to protest again, but Sophia steps forward, jabbing her finger into his chest, barreling on. “For fuck’s sake, Edmundo, you call him your partner! He took care of your house while you were gone! He’s in your fucking will! How the hell was I supposed to know you weren’t together?”

“You thought we were—“

“Yes! Of course I did!” Sophia lets out a disgruntled sigh, turning away from Eddie as she presses her fingers to her brow in frustration. “Of course I did, dios mio, Eddie, you talk about Buck more than Adri talks about her literal husband. I thought that was your way of feeling us out.”

“...what?” Eddie asks, voice small. There’s a lot going on in his head. This is not what he was expecting at all. Sophia thought that he and Buck were partners partners. Romantic partners. It’s really not that crazy.

“I thought,” Sophia starts, turning back toward Eddie slowly, like she’s worried he’ll try and bolt. “I thought you were trying to see if we would be ok with you being with Buck. With you being romantically involved with another man. Me and Adri both thought you were going to come out at that last dinner with Abuela before you left. We almost got you a fucking cake, Eddie. You said you had a ‘big announcement’ and we thought—all three of us thought you were finally going to tell us you’re gay.”

Eddie is so overwhelmed he’s not sure where to start. He finally hears himself ask, in a choked voice, “a cake?”

“Yeah,” Sophia laughs softly, shooting him a fondly exasperated smile. “It was gonna be one of those rainbow layer cakes with white frosting. I wanted to write ‘surprise! ur gay’ on top with ‘u r’ instead of ‘you’re’ like you hate, but Abuela said it would be too much. That’s why she made conchas” 

She laughs again, looking down and away as she kicks at the floor. Eddie is still reeling, and after another moment of loaded silence he heaves a sigh before sitting on the floor. Sophia looks at him with one brow raised and he pats the concrete next to him. She moves to sit where he indicated, deliberately bumping his shoulder with her own as she settles. 

They stay there, leaning back against the metal shelving for longer than they probably should. Eddie’s ass starts to go numb and he’s about to break the silence when Sophia does it first. 

“It really wouldn’t be so crazy,” she whispers. Eddie can see her looking at him in his periphery, but he keeps his eyes locked on the sliver of light coming in from under the door. She forges on.

“Think about it,” she says, nudging him with her elbow. “You’ve never really felt comfortable dating women. You’ve told me more than once that it feels like performing which is exactly the same thing my friend Rachel said to me when she came out.” Sophia turns abruptly, kneeing Eddie in the thigh as she does. He lets out an annoyed ow, and she just starts punching his arm. 

“You had—“ punch “—a panic attack—“ punch “—when a random retail employee—“ punch “—mistook—“ punch “—your girlfriend—“ punch “—for your wife. Edmundo, that is the gayest shit I have ever heard.” Eddie is leaning away, halfheartedly trying to block Sophia’s punches. She finally finishes her rant with one big shove, tipping Eddie over, making him have to catch himself with the arm fending off her bony hand. It forces a chuckle out of him: both the childish punching and her exasperated tone.

“I guess that was pretty gay,” he mumbles, righting himself and finally looking over at her. 

“Yeah, usually people date with the intention of marriage,” Sophia says, going back to a more somber tone. “You were together for long enough that a person who actually likes women would’ve thought about it by then.

“I wasn’t…” he trails off. Because he wasn’t. He really wasn’t looking for a marriage. “I was trying to find a mom for Chris.”

“Which implies marriage, idiota,” she groans, gently kicking at his shin. “You can’t be in a relationship with someone and expect them to parent your kid without getting married. That’s insane.”

Eddie sucks in a sharp gasp. Because that’s the thing isn’t it? He’s already in a relationship exactly like that with Buck. Buck does parent Christopher. Not to the full extent of the title, and he’s always worried about overstepping, but Eddie wants him to step over that line. He wants Buck to be one of Christopher’s parents and Eddie is just now realizing why that is. 

“I did that to Buck.”

“You did,” Sophia says, flatly.

“How did I not see it?” Eddie whispers. He’s asking about everything, and Sophia knows it.

“I think our parents made you grow up so fast that you never had a chance to look into who Edmundo Diaz really is,” she says softly. “I think you were overwhelmed by the expectations and the responsibilities of raising children that you never got to see yourself.”

Eddie’s mind gets caught on one word. 

“Children?”

“Yeah,” Sophia says, smiling up at him with teary eyes. “You were raising three kids when you got back from Afghanistan, not just one.”

Eddie’s eyes sting and his face scrunches as the memories come flooding back. After Shannon had left, he had spent most of his time working, but when he wasn’t he was with his kids. He was with Chris, taking him to appointments or parks or single-dad-meets. Or he was with Adriana, doing college visits and helping her decide her major. Or he was with Sophia, making sure she made it to softball practice and didn’t slack off in her freshman year of high school. His parents had been there, yeah, but they had always been distant when it came to the things they deemed unimportant. They’d be there for milestones, sure, but the second their kids wanted to do something that they didn’t like, that kid was a failure, a disgrace. If they weren’t perfectly successful, they were nothing. 

For Sophia, it was softball. For Adriana it was math league. For Chris, it was chess. For Eddie, it was—

Sophia breaks him out of his spiral with a hand on his knee. 

“You’re a great dad, Eddie. I would know.” Her earnest tone finally breaks him and a tear runs down Eddie’s face as he reaches out to pull Sophia in to a hug. She hugs him back tightly, just like she always does. 

They stay there for a moment, holding each other until Eddie’s breathing finally evens out and Sophia pulls out of the hug. She looks around for a moment before leaping from the floor and grabbing a box of tissues off one of the shelves, ripping it open to grab one for herself before holding it out to Eddie.

“That’s LAFD property, you know,” he huffs, taking the box of tissues and pulling a few out to blow his nose and wipe his eyes. 

“You’re LAFD property,” she snips back, laughing as Eddie rolls his eyes. Sophia doesn’t sit back down, and once Eddie finishes cleaning his face he looks back up to find her in a familiar pose. Arms crossed, one eyebrow raised, left foot tapping as she stares at him expectantly. 

“Can we circle back to Buck now?” 

Eddie scoffs, rolling his eyes again. “You’re the one who brought up our parents.”

“You’re the one who married your best friend without actually marrying him.” 

Eddie looks away after that. It’s true—Sophia is exactly fucking right and it makes Eddie feel like he’s been flayed open. He takes a deep breath, steadying himself for a moment before speaking. 

“I overheard Buck and Hen talking one time,” he starts. His brow furrows as he recalls the conversation. “Buck had asked her how she knew she was gay and they’d gotten to talking about their experiences. She brought up something called comp…comp something or compulsory something, I can’t remember.”

“Comp-het?” Sophia offers, “Compulsory Heterosexuality?” 

“Yeah, that’s it,” Eddie says, “That’s the one. She explained it as the societal expectations put on a person. How someone like Buck could go their whole lives without knowing that they—that they’re gay or bi because they expect to be with a partner of the opposite gender because ‘that’s what people do’.” His hands fall down to his lap after he’s done with the air-quotes. He looks back up at Sophia and she nods for him to continue. 

“I think that might be me. I think I—I think I expected to find a mom for Chris because that’s what people do. Nobody told me to, but there’s enough stigma around single parents that they didn’t have to.”

“Chris could have two dads, you know,” Sophia stage-whispers. 

“I know,” Eddie chuckles, “or, I guess I know that now.” 

“Glad I could light the fire under the ass of your gay awakening.”

Eddie barks a shocked laugh before dissolving into what can only be described as giggles. Sophia joins in, pleased as punch that her joke landed. 

“Good thing we’re in a fire station,” Eddie says once their laughter dies down.

“Good thing we’re in a fire station,” Sophia echoes. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation in a supply closet.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda perfect isn't it?” Eddie asks, laughing again. “I can both literally and metaphorically come out of the closet.” 

“I love that for you,” Sophia sighs, trying for an exasperated tone that is completely wrecked by Eddie’s contagious laughter. She holds out a hand like she could actually help him up. He keeps laughing as he takes it, and she leans back with a surprising amount of force and drags him up off the floor, sending him stumbling in shock. 

“When did you get so strong?” he asks, dusting off his pants. 

“You’re not the only one who gets to punch things,” she says mysteriously, taking the tissue box from his hands and putting it back on the shelf. Eddie puts a mental pin in that for later.

“Before we go back out there,” he starts, shoving his restless hands into his pockets, “can you tell me what you said to Buck? So I know what to expect?”

“Of course,” Sophia says, reaching out to put a steady hand on his arm. “I don’t remember all the specifics, but he was telling me a story about you and Christopher and I said something along the lines of I can see why Eddie snatched you up. Then he asked me what I meant, and I said—“ she cuts herself off with a sigh, her face twisting in regret. “I said, ‘You two make a great couple. You obviously love each other very much.”

Eddie winces, “Straight to the point, huh?”

“Yeah,” she sighs, giving his arm one last squeeze before pulling away and shoving her hands into her own pockets. “I didn’t get a chance to say anything else. That’s when he panicked and ran away and then you showed up.” 

Eddie heaves a sigh before pulling Sophia into a hug. He plants a kiss to the top of her head before resting his chin there. Her hands finally leave her pockets after a moment, finally reaching out to grasp the back of his shirt. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Soph,” Eddie says quietly. Her hands twitch and he continues. “It would’ve come out—“ she laughs, “—sooner or later. Is it great that it happened in the middle of Bobby’s Celebration of Life? No, but that’s pretty on track for how my life goes, so I’m not surprised.”

Sophia laughs again as he hands unclench and she steps back from the hug. Eddie lets her go, patting her shoulder one last time before turning toward the door. He kicks the doorstop out of the way and reaches for the doorknob before pausing.

“Do I look like I just had a life-changing realization and was crying in the closet for an undetermined amount of time?” he asks, turning back to Sophia. She scoffs and rolls her eyes, as is her sisterly duty, before really, really looking at him. 

“You look…lighter. Like you did when you told us you were coming back to LA, but better.” It’s a reference to that dinner, and it brings a smile to Eddie’s face. 

“And you don’t look like you’ve been crying,” she adds, stepping forward to shove him out of the way before opening the door. She holds it, gesturing for him to go first, which makes Eddie laugh, which makes Sophia laugh, and they end up giggling like they just committed crimes as they walk out of the supply closet and she shuts the door behind them. Sophia gives him one last quick hug, grabbing his shoulders and looking at him seriously.

“Go get your man,” she says, squeezing his shoulders one last time before letting him go and making her way back through the crowd of people, heading to the stairs to the loft. 

Eddie stays there for a moment, looking around the station with fresh eyes. It almost seems…brighter, somehow. Like some sort of curtain has been lifted. There’s a part of him that wants to go mingle, to talk to all of his friends about everything he’s realized. They’re here—they’re all here, and it’s so hard to get everyone together that the only thing that pulls Eddie away, the only thing that gets him to turn on his heel and all but sprint out of the station is the tug in his gut and the memory of the fear on Buck’s face. 

He gets outside and realizes that he has no idea where to go. Buck had walked out fifteen, maybe twenty minutes ago? It’s dark out, and most of the light is coming from the inside of the station, the exterior lights off to indicate their downtime. The glow of the streetlights is just enough to illuminate the cars in the parking lot and Eddie makes a beeline to Buck’s Jeep. It’s still locked, which is a good sign, but Eddie still loops it, just in case there’s a giant, probably distraught man curled against the tire, hiding in the shadows. 

But Buck’s not there, and that feeling in Eddie’s gut comes back with a vengeance. He pulls out his phone, tapping quickly and impatiently into the Find My app. It loads fast, thank god, and he has to zoom in on the mass of icons that hovers over the station. They’ve all been through so much that everyone in their group with an iPhone has shared their location with everyone else. There’s too many bubbles in one spot, so he swipes up, tapping Buck’s name and holding his breath for the half-second it takes to load. The app zooms in on Buck’s bubble, an old picture of him and Chris squeezed together to fill the frame. He’s moving, slowly, down the street toward a residential area only a few blocks from the station. 

Eddie feels pulled in multiple directions, his brain wanting him to do everything he can all at the same time. He had carpooled with Buck so he doesn’t have his car here, but he knows where Buck’s keys are. He could just run. He could easily catch up with Buck on his own two feet, the man himself saying that Eddie’s the fastest runner. 

But Eddie is the one who fixed Buck’s “new” Jeep. He knows its quirks, including the touchy ignition switch and loose roof latches.

Eddie’s fingers are already digging under the soft-top of Buck’s Jeep before he registers what he’s doing. He lets himself dive into his own actions, breaking into the car and opening the driver door and popping the hood and digging his hands into the engine with a focused determination that would scare anyone away. It almost scares Eddie.

Then he’s driving down the road, Buck’s location slowly blinking as his own blue dot gets closer and closer.

Does he know what he’s going to say when he catches up? No. Does he think that technically stealing Buck’s Jeep will go over particularly well? Probably not, but he really doesn’t have time to think all of that through because he spots Buck walking down the sidewalk, shoulders hunched and hands in his pockets. 

Eddie’s on a roll, and the street is completely empty, so he speeds up a little bit, still barely going 30, and pops the curb in front of Buck. He throws the Jeep into park and leaps out, his feet barely hitting the pavement before he’s jumping and sliding across the hood to land in front of Buck where he’s frozen, confused and shocked in the middle of the sidewalk. 

It’s an interesting scene. Buck’s Jeep is half on the sidewalk and half on the street, its headlights shining into one of the last storefronts before the businesses turn into homes. Buck and Eddie stand about four feet apart, lit by a nearby streetlight. Even as close as they are, neither man can quite see details on the other’s face. They stand in the almost silence, the click of the Jeep’s engine and the gasps of Eddie’s heaving breaths the only soundtrack to this moment. 

“Abuela thinks we’re together. Together, together ,” Eddie says, finally, finally, and he watches Buck’s mouth crumple up and his eyes fill with tears and the words finally come. 

“I talk about you more than Adriana talks about her husband. Which is a lot, by the way.” Eddie pauses, huffing a disbelieving laugh. “My sisters and my abuela thought I was talking about my partner so much because I was trying to figure out if they were safe to come out to. When I told them I had important news, Sophie wanted to get me a rainbow cake but Abuela vetoed it to make conchas instead.” 

“You love conchas,” Buck whispers, his voice barely reaching Eddie. 

“I do,” Eddie says, breaking into a smile. Buck still looks confused, but he huffs a laugh and smiles weakly. Eddie opens his mouth to keep talking, to get his words out and tell Buck everything he has realized in the last half hour-ish, but Buck jumps in then.

“Maddie said it wouldn’t be so crazy,” he says, shaking his head in disbelief as a bewildered smile cracks across his face. “Tommy flat out said you were his competition, and Sophie comes out of nowhere and says that you love me and I—I just—I didn’t—“

“I love you,” Eddie says, cutting into Buck’s sputtering with big, earnest eyes and a fond smile. “Dios, I love you, and I still can’t believe I didn’t see it until Sophie had to say it to my face five minutes ago.”

“Technically she said it to my face first,” Buck points out, his voice going soft again, making Eddie sway forward to hear him better. 

“I’ve heard it both ways,” Eddie chuckles. Buck huffs an answering laugh and just stares at Eddie for a moment, disbelieving. 

“Say it again,” Buck breathes, and Eddie sees him say it more than he hears him. 

“I love you.”

“Again,” Buck repeats, a little louder, his voice tight and his eyes sparkling. 

“I love you.”

“One more time? Just to be sure?” Buck asks, voice so, so small that Eddie’s heart shatters in the very best way.

“I lov—“

Eddie doesn’t get to finish his third ‘I love you’, because Buck moves forward, closing the gap between them in one long stride. Both of his hands come up to cradle Eddie’s face and Buck kisses Eddie so gently that Eddie shivers in his grasp. He loses himself to the sensations, the new feelings of tilting his head up, the scratch of stubble against his face, and the low timbre of Buck’s groan that rumbles from deep in his chest. 

Buck presses forward, guiding Eddie back until he’s pressed against the passenger door of the Jeep, the cold metal making him gasp. Buck takes advantage of the new angle, kissing Eddie harder as his hands slide down Eddie’s torso, and Eddie gasps again as Buck grips his hips and pins him to the side of the car. Eddie tests the pin on instinct, his hips twitching but not moving. He could break out of Buck’s grip, he could, but something about the kiss and the gentle manhandling sends a tidal wave of heat down Eddie’s spine. The feeling shocks him, ripping a loud moan from his throat as his head falls back to thud against the car window. 

Eddie is launched back to reality by Buck’s low, almost evil chuckle. He blinks, hard, looking over Buck’s shoulder at the empty sidewalk behind him, the heat in his gut partially turning to anxiety at the reminder of their very public location. Buck nuzzles into his neck, not kissing or biting, just burying himself into Eddie like he wants to melt into his skin. Eddie finally becomes aware of his own hands in that moment, one tangled in Buck’s hair and the other resting across his shoulders. He pulls Buck closer, squeezing him tightly as he buries his face in Buck’s neck.

Buck’s arms snake around Eddie’s waist, pulling him away from the Jeep and flush to his chest. He hugs Eddie so tightly that he lifts him off of the ground just a little bit, so he’s up on his toes, the show of easy strength causing Eddie to suck in a sharp gasp. His eyes start to sting, and the next breath comes as more of a sob as he clings to Buck.

“I love you, too,” Buck whispers, his voice barely a breath as it fans over Eddie’s ear. “God, Eddie, I love you so fucking much, I don’t even know what to do with it all.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Eddie whispers as his fingers start to draw unconscious patters into Buck’s shoulders and scalp, squeezing and scratching and just feeling. Making sure that this is real—that they’re both real and alive and in love. One of Buck’s hands slides up Eddie’s back, fingers spread wide across his ribcage, possessive and protective. 

They stay there, wrapped in each other, until Eddie’s phone buzzes in his pocket. It’s just enough to gently bring them back to the present and Buck relaxes, setting Eddie back down on his heels. Eddie squeezes Buck’s shoulders one last time before slowly pulling away enough to look him in the eye, hands coming up to cradle his jaw. 

“I—I’m sorry,” Eddie breathes, watching Buck’s brows furrow. Buck’s mouth opens, and Eddie knows that he’s going to say ‘don’t be sorry’ so he forges on.

“You were right here in front of me this whole time and I couldn’t see it, I—“ Eddie cuts himself off, a little caught by the soft look on Buck’s face. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, we wasted so much time.”

“No, no, no, baby,” Buck sighs, one hand coming up to hold one of Eddie’s as he turns his head to kiss his palm. “We didn’t waste any time. We already have everything, this is just the cherry on top.”

Eddie huffs a wet laugh, tracing his fingers along Buck’s cheekbones. He pulls Buck in—drawing him down, which is a new and interesting feeling—and presses a firm kiss to his birthmark, lingering there like he’s always wanted and never fully realized. 

Because Buck’s right. Of course he’s right. They do have everything else already. They’ve made a home, a family, and it’s a small, slightly wonky thing that was put together backwards, but it’s strong. It’s been taken care of. Nurtured and patched and sutured together by both of them, every single day since they first met. 

Eddie kisses his way down Buck’s face. Another to his brow, his cheek, his nose, and finally his lips again. It’s almost a lazy kiss, just a gentle pressure that says I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere and I’m so glad I found you. Buck smiles into it, and they only break apart when Buck’s phone buzzes. 

It’s insistent, an annoying cacophony of customized rhythm that Eddie knows means that Maddie is calling. Buck groans, and Eddie giggles into his shoulder as he digs into his pocket for the offending device. He mutters something that Eddie thinks might be we’re having a moment here before he answers, one arm still wrapped tightly around Eddie’s waist.

“Hey, Maddie, I was just—“

“Buck! Someone stole your Jeep!” 

Maddie’s tinny and uncharacteristically panicked voice catches Eddie off guard and he barks a loud laugh almost directly into Buck’s ear, triggering an ow, Eddie, chill.

“Maddie, Mads, it’s ok,” Buck says, pinching Eddie’s side. “Nobody stole the Jeep, Eddie just borrowed it.” 

Eddie falls into another fit of giggles and he doesn’t catch the end of their conversation. Buck finally hangs up, slipping his phone back into his pocket and leaning back in for a kiss that Eddie dodges. Buck is undeterred, perfectly content to plant kisses along Eddie’s jaw instead. 

“Ok, ok, I have to admit something,” Eddie laughs, too full of joy to do much else. Buck just hums in the affirmative, leaning back to look Eddie in the eye as he reaches up to fix his hair. Something about how the light falls across Buck’s face distracts Eddie and he’s caught for a moment at just how beautiful his partner is. 

“Did you forget what you were going to say?” Buck asks after a moment, smiling so fondly it makes Eddie’s chest hurt at the swell of emotion it causes.

“No,” he says, casual as can be as he leans forward to plant a quick kiss on Buck’s lips. “No, it’s just—“ Eddie cuts himself off with a sharp laugh. “—Maddie’s not wrong, technically.”

“What do you mean?” Buck asks, laughing along with Eddie. There’s a glint in his eye that Eddie recognizes and he’s pretty sure Buck knows what he’s gonna say before he says it. 

“Someone did steal your Jeep,” Eddie says, as serious as he possibly can, nodding solemnly and everything. “It was me, I’m someone.” 

“Eddie, how could you?” Buck laughs, trying to be serious and failing miserably. “My keys are in my locker, why didn’t you go grab them?”

“It was the heat of the moment! I couldn’t waste time grabbing keys,” Eddie huffs. Buck laughs in his face and the sound is so beautiful that Eddie wants to bottle it up and keep it forever. He may have only really shaved off about two minutes by stealing the Jeep, but Eddie doesn’t need to know that and neither does Buck.

“God, you’re insane,” Buck sighs, smiling so wide that Eddie is absolutely certain that his face hurts like hell.

“Yeah, but you love me.”

“I do,” Buck whispers, leaning in to press his forehead against Eddie’s. He lets out a content sigh that Eddie mirrors.

“I really do.”