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English
Series:
Part 14 of Flufftober 2025 , Part 14 of Reblog if you love unstable universe
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Published:
2025-10-16
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2,818
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1/1
Comments:
46
Kudos:
115
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4
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959

Dude are we lost? /srs are we lost bro??

Summary:

Wemmbegg go tromping around in the woods !

Notes:

OML IVE STARVED YALL ium so sorry... period cramps kicking my ass guys...... and im a lazy ho..... JKHASHJASHA I HOPE WE LIKE THISONE !!!!! It will connect to the next one I think. Spoilers: wemmbu gets the job :smile:

MODERN AU!!! Reminder that egg is a field ecologist surveyor guy !!! Bro goes in the field

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Dude, it’ll be fun,” Egg urges. Wemmbu gives him a look.

 

“Bro, stomping around in a forest might be fun for you, but I am not built for the Egg Chan lifestyle. I stay inside and I work on cars.” Wemmbu explains. Egg tilts his head, nearly the exact same way Orbital does when she wants food. Oh my god. This guy.

 

“Wemmbu,” Egg frowns. Which isn’t fair! He– he only uses Wemmbu’s name to grab attention. And that’s as close as it gets to begging, where Egg is concerned.

 

“You suck,” Wemmbu whines, pushing his hands through his hair. Egg is smiling when Wemmbu refocuses. Ouhhh. “Fine. Fine! I’ll go dude, because you’re evil and manipulative.”

 

“Yay!” Egg cheers, voice scratchy with how high in his register it is. Wemmbu rolls his eyes.

 

“I’m only going because I feel bad,” Wemmbu lies, crossing his arms. Egg grins.

 

“You’re still doing it,” He points out, and Wemmbu splutters. 

 

- 

 

They go to the Minitogan Nature Reserve to chase down Blanding’s turtles. Apparently they’re a kind of species that moves a lot, and Egg’s new project is to mark where they settle. Crazy how even bro’s boss knows how much he likes the Blanding’s turtle. Wemmbu’s a little in love with– a little in awe of the way Egg is just so chill with everyone he meets. 

 

“So uh, I’m not seein’ any turtles,” Wemmbu starts, following Egg’s footsteps. Egg steps over a tree root.

 

“Probably because you’re scaring them all,” He returns, and hits Wemmbu’s leg with a sapling. Wemmbu narrows his eyes.

 

“There aren’t any turtles here, dude,” Wemmbu says plainly, dropping any subtly. Egg hums, scanning the area. “We’ve seen like– maybe a couple squirrels and dragonflies. I’ve heard s–”

 

“Wait, shut up,” Egg interrupts suddenly, standing straight up, and looking to his right. Wemmbu blinks, then follows his gaze, like, fifty feet away. “Sandhill cranes.”

 

Ah. There they are. Very identifiable from how they’re tall as hell and have red heads. Every time Wemmbu sees them he’s reminded that birds are descended from dinosaurs. Their call is honestly a little horrifying.

 

“W sandhill cranes,” Wemmbu says, to fill the silence. Egg shakes with a silent laugh.

 

Egg watches them intently, and then takes his phone out for photos and notes. Mister note taker over here.

 

“They like wetlands.” Egg comments, like Wemmbu couldn’t tell from how they’re only ever by water. “They’re lowkey looking for frogs.”

 

“Yo, who eats frogs?” Wemmbu shudders. Egg glances over. “Bro, you can’t say that isn– they’re probably slimy and stuff.”

 

“A lot of things are slimy, dude,” Egg laughs, and they watch the sandhill cranes until they go to eat frogs somewhere else.

 

Egg continues on, and Wemmbu follows.

 

“So why are we chasing after Blanding’s turtles if we can’t find any?” Wemmbu questions, eyes catching on a raspberry bush. Are those even native here? 

 

“I told you, new job,” Egg clarifies, entirely missing the joke. “We needed someone to go out and mark the Blandings’ new habitat every week or so. They move a lot.”

 

“It was a rhetorical question,” Wemmbu says flatly, and looks back at the ground to make sure he doesn’t trip or step on anything. If only there were paths here. “Why did you drag me along? I’m the worst person to take outside.”

 

“Because you make things less boring,” Egg says plainly. Wemmbu tenses, because that’s basically ‘I love you’ in disguise. Or maybe he’s seeing things that aren’t there. Maybe he’s a crazy person.

 

“Just say you like hanging out bro. We can like– we can hang out at normal places. Like a coffee shop. Or a mall. I don’t know.” Wemmbu offers, and glances up to check where Egg’s going. “We don’t have to go miles deep into a forest.”

 

“Brother we’re barely like– we’re basically half a mile away from where we started,” Egg says, and pauses, putting his arm behind him to stop Wemmbu. “Wait.”

 

“You find something?” Wemmbu asks, and follows Egg’s eyes. Egg crouches down, and stares at– something?? He’s using his freaky ecologist vision or something, because there’s nothing weird. 

 

“Yo, you see it?” Egg asks, turning his head upwards to look at Wemmbu.

 

“See what?” Wemmbu asks, and crouches down. Egg points in front of himself, and traces some kind of trail.

 

“The leaves have slightly been moved aside– it’s too small for deer paths, but Blanding’s turtles are like,” Egg makes a space between his hands, something like four or five inches. “this thick.” He leans forward and holds that space over a section of leaves. Oh yeah. There’s a slight difference in height level. “Which is how thick the path is.”

 

Wemmbu blinks.

 

“Yo, how the hell did you see that, dude??” Wemmbu laughs in awe, standing back up. Egg smiles at him, and gets up.

 

“I made maps of all the deer paths and turtle trails and stuff when I was younger– you genuinely just learn to pick it up,” He shrugs, then grabs Wemmbu’s arm and side steps the trail. “We don’t wanna like, mess up their trails or anything, so we’ll walk next to it.”

 

Wemmbu follows after him, and they start– very slowly, because Egg keeps checking the ground before each step– following the trail.

 

After a few minutes, where Wemmbu is just trying to make sure he doesn’t crush anything, Egg pauses again. Wemmbu looks down, but can’t find the trail. Uh..?

 

“Listen,” Egg says quietly, and Wemmbu auditorily locks in. At first, it’s just the leaves, and then he hears something that sounds breezier– the kind of sound wind on an open lake makes upon hitting the reeds that line the shore. Which is a very specific sound, but one he’s gotten accustomed to, thank you Egg.

 

“Oh, do you think the turtles are there?” Wemmbu asks, lowering his tone. Egg nods.

 

“We’ve gotta be very quiet though– and count how many we see. Hopefully I can cop some photos, cause those’ll be useful to like, differentiate them.” Egg tells him. That’s a big word that Wemmbu knows for once. 

 

Then Egg continues to move forward again, and Wemmbu hesitates. Because actually– he’s really good at being loud, and he doesn’t– he doesn’t wanna scare the turtles. That would mess things up for Egg. That would actually be maybe the worst outcome. Egg should’ve brought someone else. 

 

Egg turns back, staring at Wemmbu. Wemmbu blinks, like a deer in headlights, until Egg tilts his head and gestures for Wemmbu to follow. It’s not like Wemmbu can say no.

 

They get to a– a lake, Wemmbu thinks? It’s hard to see through the cattails to know if this is a pond or lake. Or some wetlands or swamp. Marsh?? One of them, something like that. 

 

Wemmbu looks around, but he doesn’t see anything. Egg will probably see some animal thought to be extinct just sitting fifty feet away.

 

“Yooo,” Egg says, quietly taking out his phone. Wemmbu tries to follow his gaze, but every slightly yellowing leaf looks like the throat of a Blanding’s turtle. His eyes catch on everything. Egg leans on him, and holds the camera in front of both of them. He zooms in next to a cattail. “They’re right there, bro. Floating by the lily pads.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Wemmbu realizes, and looks around the phone, at the turtles. How in the world did Egg see those?? Their shells look like rocks, or like clumps of dead plants.

 

Egg starts taking photos, quietly shifting the reeds to get a more clear shot. Are there spiders that live on cattails? What if one lowkey falls on them and they carry it back to the car?

 

“Are you gonna get in the water?” Wemmbu asks apprehensively, glancing down at the brown water. Egg looks with him, then shrugs and looks back up. 

 

“Maybe. I don’t want to disturb the frogs, if there are any, y’know?” Egg hums, and lowers his phone. Bro is the thinker.

 

“Type shit,” Wemmbu nods. “But aren’t they like– hibernating by now?”

 

“Maybe some are– probably not, to be honest. They uh, well, it lowkey depends. Some frogs are terrestrial, like toads and stuff, and they go like burrow into places for winter, or hide inside cracks or under porches. But aquatic frogs, like bullfrogs and stuff, lie down on top of mud, or partially stick out.” Egg explains. Wemmbu catches maybe, like, half of it. “They wake up sometimes too, just to swim around. Chill guys. They’re really funny.” 

 

“So they hibernate? Like bears?” Wemmbu asks, and crouches down to search for frogs. 

 

“Uh,” Egg makes a noise. “Yeah. Turtles bury themselves in mud– it’s cool. They breathe, like, through the mud.”

 

“Wait, that's sick,” Wemmbu says, watching for any shiny frog eyes hiding in the mud.

 

“Brother you don’t understand, turtles are actually the goats of animals.” Egg agrees, handing the camera to Wemmbu. “Yo, can you lean around there dude? It’s a more clear shot of the turtles.”

 

Wemmbu grabs Egg’s phone, and leans around the reeds. Egg pulls them out of the way. 

 

The turtles are much easier to see with a crazy high quality zooming camera. He gets some good looks at the turtles. They’re honestly really cute, they look so chill and nonchalant on the log.

 

After taking a few photos, he sits back to hand the phone to Egg, and Egg relaxes his grip of the cattails. Something splashes in the water next to them, and they both stop entirely, eyes searching.

 

“Yo, green frog,” Egg alerts, pocketing his camera and leaning down. “Lowkey, the trick is to not be like, right over them. And you can’t cast a shadow, or else they’ll think you’re a bird.”

 

Wemmbu knows that. He thinks literally everyone who grew up around here knows that. He smiles and lets Egg demonstrate anyway. Happy wife, happy life type shit.

 

Egg slowly moves his hands forward, then zips them forward suddenly, splashing. 

 

When he stands straighter and brings his hands up, they’re cupped together. He opens his hands just a little.

 

“W catch?” Wemmbu prompts, and checks on the Blanding’s turtles. They don’t seem alarmed, from what he can tell. There’s still just the two on the log. 

 

“W green frog,” Egg returns, and holds his hands flat. Over the water, so if it jumps, it won’t land on hard ground. Its eyes are so stupid looking. Frogs are weirdly endearing, honestly. “Yo, he might be my twin, dude.”

 

“Dude what the hell are you talking about?” Wemmbu questions, raising an eyebrow. Egg half-turns and looks up. The frog doesn’t move. 

 

“We’re both green, dude,” Egg insists. 

 

“You have green gloves,” Wemmbu agrees slowly. He’s glances at Egg’s clothes of their tragic hoodie choices today. The ‘Mess with me and face HIM’ hoodie deserves to be covered in mud. Yyyyikes.

 

“He kinda does too,” Egg offers, trying not to smile. Wemmbu puts a hand on Egg’s shoulder and leans over. The frog has a green head, and a kinda-green belly. There’s just specks of the color on its legs. Nothing on its feet/hands.

 

“Bro doesn’t have gloves on,” Wemmbu says, and Egg lowers the frog back into the water. It just floats, limbs spreading out, until it finds a leaf, and locks in. 

 

“In a way,” Egg says wisely, then gets up and flicks the water from his hands. “Lemme see how close we can get to them.”

 

“The turtles?” Wemmbu asks, and Egg wipes his hands on his pants, then nods.

 

“I gotta see if we need to tag them, ’cause like, some can be photo-IDed, if they have scars or flukes.” He adds, and creeps toward the turtles. Wemmbu stays back. “You’re lowkey right, yeah, stay back brother. Let the professionals handle it.”

 

Wemmbu glares, and Egg takes his phone preemptively out. 

 

He moves closer to the turtles, until Wemmbu can barely see him behind the reeds. A few minutes pass. 

 

Wemmbu’s honestly glad Egg let him come. Because– oh my god. This is corny as hell, but… god, even though he complains, any time with Egg is good, is fun, just because… it’s Egg. And Wemmbu apparently cannot be normal about Egg. There’s a whole groupchat to prove it.

 

But lowkey on the brightside, Egg can’t be normal about him either! Which is something he learned recently. Thank you Loppezz and Minute, absolute goats. 

 

And it’s– they haven’t talked about– boundaries or anything. It’s– it’s almost like nothing happened. Which is honestly… kinda frustrating? But– well, he knows now. He knows Egg like– He knows they aren’t normal about each other. But it’s a little annoying they haven’t talked.

 

It’s insane!! It’s inSANE!!! Because now Wemmbu, known hater of emotional talks, wants to have a talk. Maybe he’s become addicted. Like how gamblers win one time and then keep gambling. Because one of the only emotional talks he had ended in lowkey one of the biggest W’s of his life. 

 

Whatever. Whatever. Maybe he just wants to talk with Egg. It’s fine.

 

He goes back to watching Egg, and after a bit of waiting, Egg returns, smiling. Wemmbu tilts his head and smiles all soft in return. He likes when Egg is happy. God.

 

“Did you get W photos?” Wemmbu asks, glancing at the phone.

 

“Goated photos,” Egg agrees, and offers the phone. “We can go back now.”

 

Wemmbu nods, scrolling through the photos. He looks right back up. “Wait, aren’t you supposed to like, take notes or something?” 

 

“I already did, bro,” Egg nods, and looks around. Wemmbu looks back at the photos, shading the screen with his hand to see better. There’s some really good close ups.

 

“Do you think you guys need to tag them?” Wemmbu asks, and hands the phone back. Egg takes it, randomly hesitant. “Wh– dude you good?” 

 

Wemmbu studies Egg’s face. Egg looks back at him.

 

“Uh.” Egg starts, and opens his phone, moving to the map app. “Uhhh.”

 

The map doesn’t load. Oh my god.

 

“Are we lost?” Wemmbu hisses, eyes widening. “Oh my god, bro, the one ti–”

 

“No, yo, we’re good, we’re good. I just–”

 

“The one time I come with you bro, you get lost–”

 

“Brother we’re fine,” Egg says firmly, and puts his phone away. Wemmbu runs his hands through his hair. “I’m actually the goat at trails. I dunno, maybe you forgot, that’s okay, but my job is to be good at navigation.”

 

“Dude, your job is to study animals,” Wemmbu argues, and looks around them. They’re cooked. 

 

“Yo, how do you think I get around without wifi, dude?” Egg interrupts, then turns away from the lake. Wemmbu feels a little dull, kinda far away. “We came from this way.”

 

“Okay.” Wemmbu says flatly, staring ahead. 

 

“Wemmbu,” Egg starts, and Wemmbu turns to him. They’re gonna be fine. It’s fine. It’s fine. Oh god. They’re cooked.

 

Egg grabs his wrist, but doesn’t pull him in any direction. “Yo. We’re fine. Don’t shut down, dude.” Egg frowns. Wemmbu usually would– oh, he’s totally locked out. Wait. Waitt.

 

Wemmbu blinks repeatedly, then actually focuses his eyes. W Egg.

 

“I’m locked in. You’re– you’re good at directions. Waittt you’re right.” Wemmbu says, refocusing and retracting his hand from Egg’s grip. “Okay. Thanks dude.” His voice automatically softens. Egg offers a nod and a hand. Wemmbu takes it, on his own terms now.

 

“We went this way, I remember that cedar tree,” Egg points at a random tree. Wemmbu follows him. 

 

“Bro remembers the obscure oak,” Wemmbu jokes.

 

“You know the difference between oak and cedar,” Egg tells him. That is just literally not true.

 

“Do I? I mean like, I know they’re different, but, I don’t know the differences.” Wemmbu shrugs. Which obviously gets Egg started on a tree tangent. One Wemmbu is very glad for. He’s just socially exhausted, randomly. 

 

And, again, cornball moment, but he does also just like. Genuinely appreciate Egg’s voice. And hearing the subtle excited tone in it. God. Wemmbu’s actually down insane. Everyone was right. Cooked.

 

Egg eventually leads them back to a path, and from there, they just walk back to the car.

 

“– the like, impression of a map, and the lake we were chilling at. We should lowkey ask if it has a name.” Egg’s saying when Wemmbu zones back in, right by their car.

 

“Yo, we get to name the lake?” He asks, opening the driver door. Egg chuckles, and gets in on the passenger’s side.

 

“We actually might, bro,” Egg says, once they’re in the car. Wemmbu laughs, and turns the car on. Lock in. Do not crash the car.

 

“We’ll name it after Orbie,” Wemmbu coos, putting on a cutesy voice, and putting the car in reverse. 

 

“I’m not allowing bro to name another thing after the Orbital Strike Canon.” Egg says, and that’s that. Wemmbu grins.

 

Notes:

AGIAN SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG HAHAHSKJDAS. we will have a fic tomorrow also. Ill post two in one day trust (idk)

PLEASE COMMENT THEY WERE MY FUEL WHILE SUFFERING!!!!! Even if just "<3" I LVOE THEM ALL

Suggest characters you want to see! Scenes also i like requests !!! I have a doc for them now yayyy

Uhhh THANK YOU FOR READING ILY GUYS SMMMM :sparkling_heart: MY POOKIES

OH YEAH PLS TELL ME ERRORS IM TIRED LMAO

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