Chapter Text
1.
A light sea breeze flutters the curtains on its way inside the room.
When it reaches Asami, he stirs in bed; his eyes moving past the French doors that lead out onto the hotel room’s balcony.
Through its marble columns, he catches glimpses of the Aegean Sea, now dark and asleep under the watchful gaze of a full moon.
He breathes in deeply, letting his lungs take in the night air, and as he exhales he stretches his legs, further tangling them through the already tangled bedsheets.
The head resting against his stomach moves as a result.
Knowing his companion isn't asleep either, Asami raises a hand to gently ruffle his hair.
The latter's voice cuts through the silence in the room, hardly above a whisper.
"Do you believe in past lives?"
So unexpected is the question, that Asami ends up chuckling despite himself; the sound reverberating through his bare chest.
"What's this all of a sudden?" He asks, amused.
He cranes his neck to look at Akihito and finds the latter looking back at him in an intent manner. Despite the smile gracing his lips, Asami can tell the younger man is being serious.
"Well... do you?"
The other man pauses. But only for a moment; his head soon coming to rest against his pillow once again.
"No…I can't say I do." And then after another pause: "I don't think the world is as complicated as that."
"But don't you ever get the feeling that you've already been somewhere? Somewhere you know you have never been to before?"
Asami chuckles again, before shaking his head. "Not really, no…Are you disappointed?”
But Akihito shakes his head, snuggling closer to Asami.
“Sometimes...” He says moments later. “Sometimes I feel like that.”
He sits up in bed then, looking around the room, before he too casts his gaze towards the Aegean Sea outside the balcony.
“Like right now…I feel like I’ve been here before.”
“But we have been here before, Akihito.” Asami reminds him. “We stayed in this hotel just a few months ago.”
But the younger man shakes his head at the remark.
“No. Before that, I mean. I have a feeling I first came here long before that…And I have a feeling I was here with you back then too.”
Asami smiles at him, understanding at last. “In a past life, you mean?”
Akihito nods quietly. “In a past life.”
Asami places the palm of his hand on Akihito’s cheek, feeling the younger man instantly lean into the touch.
“I know nothing of past lives.” He says, slowly coaxing Akihito’s face down towards his. “But you are here with me now. And that’s all that matters to me.”
He whispers the last few words against the younger man’s lips; the full moon bearing witness to his vow.
2.
It's the sound of familiar laughter that first causes Asami to tear his attention away from the book he's reading.
A little ahead of him on the pool's lounge area, he spots Akihito once again surrounded by his little 'fan club'; a group of European girls about his age, who having arrived at the hotel a few days before, lost no time in attempting to ingratiate themselves with the young man; shameless flirtation first and foremost on their minds.
Asami frowns as the tallest of the group, a flashy brunette, suddenly laughs at something Akihito says, her hand coming to rest on his arm. A proprietary gesture which ultimate goal Asami isn't certain he really wishes to interpret.
The group seems to sense they are being watched, for soon they all turn to look his way, waving enthusiastically at him.
Not Akihito. Akihito simply smiles as he looks towards Asami, knowing the latter is probably shooting daggers at the girls with his eyes.
Asami gives the young women a curt nod, his attention quickly returning to the book in his hands.
So what if he gets blamed for giving Japanese vacationers a bad rep! Let those girls think he is rude to their hearts’ content.
Not long after this little exchange, Akihito joins him, slumping down on the vacant lounge chair next to his.
He lets out a satisfied breath, closing his eyes momentarily against the sunlight.
His body is still damp from his latest laps across the pool; small droplets of water running down his torso and limbs, making his skin glow under the bright sun.
Asami glances sideways at him; the book's plot suddenly losing all its former interest.
Honestly, can those girls really be blamed for singling out Akihito from the other hotel guests? Wouldn't Asami do exactly the same in their place?
Remembering their lust filled stares, he can't help but tease: "So did one of those girls finally muster up the courage to ask you for your cell phone number?"
But when he looks towards Akihito, the latter is grinning at him; a playful look in his eyes.
"...What?" Asami asks.
Akihito's grin widens. "Oh, they mustered up the courage, alright. But not to ask for my number."
"…What do you mean?"
"It turns out it's you they've been after all along."
Surprise is more than evident on Asami's face. He stares at the younger man dumbfounded.
"Oh, yes." Akihito nods emphatically. "Especially the tallest one. She practically begged me for your number just now. I think she came close to offering me money in exchange for it."
Speechless, Asami turns his gaze momentarily towards the loud group, lounging just a few rows of chairs in front of them.
From time to time, he catches one of the girls peeking straight at him through the gaps between the chairs.
He huffs, picking up his book again. "Well, I hope you let them down nicely then."
But Akihito chuckles.
"That's just it." He shrugs. "I tried. But they don't believe me."
"What do you mean?" Asami asks; a hint of outrage in his voice. "They don't believe we're together?"
Akihito shakes his head; the same smile as before playing on his lips.
"Nope. According to one of them you are 'far too godlike to be playing on the other side of the field.' And 'there is no way a hotty like you is into men', said another."
"Oh, is that so?" Asami replies; nose twitching as he eyes the group of girls. "We'll just have to see about that then."
And as soon as he catches a couple of them peeking at him again, he leans over his chair, grabs hold of Akihito's face with both hands and proceeds to slam his lips against the other man's in a heated kiss that has the group of girls squeaking and cheering in a matter of seconds.
"Alright, already!" Akihito exclaims when he breaks for air, a huge smile plastered on his face. "I think they got the point now!"
But Asami no longer cares about the girls; all his attention focused on Akihito.
He grins, leaning in for another kiss.
3.
One early morning, a few days later, Akihito wakes to find Asami sitting on a chair by the bed, staring at him.
The young man stretches his limbs under the bedcovers, all the while giving in to a sleepy yawn.
When his head pops up again from under the covers, Asami is still staring.
“How long have you been sitting there?” He asks the older man.
“A while.”
“Just staring at me sleeping?” He asks, smiling.
“Just staring at you sleeping.” Asami returns the smile.
“How come?”
“I like to watch you dream.”
Akihito’s cheeks flush at the unexpected confession, and he quickly hides his face under the covers.
“That sounds so corny.”
He hears Asami chuckle in reply.
“Does it?”
He risks a peek through the covers only to realize for the first time that Asami has been sitting near an open window, clad in nothing but a loose pair of pajama pants.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“Freezing, actually.”
A knowing look passes between them, until Akihito, biting his lower lip mischievously, pulls the covers away, exposing his naked body.
“Can I warm you up then?”
He doesn’t need to offer twice.
4.
At times, when it’s raining outside, Asami likes to stay indoors under the covers and be lulled to sleep by the sound of Akihito’s breathing.
He orders all manner of room service, eats in bed at Akihito’s insistence, and invariably ends up laughing at every silly, over the top story the latter shares about his time working as a freelance photographer.
Sometimes they make love on the sofa, sometimes in the bathtub, once on the balcony despite the rain, but most often in bed.
Asami revels in the fact that by now he knows every inch of Akihito’s body, every sensitive spot, every trigger capable of eliciting a satisfied moan.
When the younger man clings to him, still riding the waves of an orgasm, Asami’s name on his lips, he can’t help but be haunted by the thought that his sole purpose in life is to give Akihito pleasure, to make him happy.
He doesn’t talk much during such times.
He was never much of a talker anyway.
Yet he’s aware that Akihito has over time developed the ability to translate his silences into words, into thoughts, into actions to come.
And that’s what he’s afraid of the most...
5.
Asami leans against the balcony railing outside the hotel's main bar, a freshly lit Dunhill dangling from his lips.
He turns his face upwards, towards the late afternoon sun, allowing himself a moment of solitude to bask in on its rays with closed eyes.
He eventually senses, more than hears, the other man approaching him from behind.
“What are you doing here, Alec?” He asks without turning round. “I told you not to contact me.”
A heavy sigh is heard in reply.
“You told me that a month ago, Ryu.”
“…I need more time.”
Another sigh.
“You told me that a month ago too.”
“Well, it still holds true.”
“Ryu…”
“What do you want?” Asami spats, finally turning round to face his old comrade-in-arms.
But Alec narrows his eyes at him. At his tone. “It’s not what I want, Ryu. You know that.”
“Fine. What does Maxim want then?”
But the other man shakes his head. “It’s not even Maxim at this point…It’s your old man, Ryu. He’s had enough.”
He goes and leans on the railing next to Asami. “I’m afraid your holidays are finally over, my friend.” He smiles apologetically.
Asami doesn’t react. He doesn’t seem at all surprised by the news though.
“…How long do I have?” He finally asks.
“A couple of days. At most. A helicopter is on standby to take you to headquarters as soon as you turn yourself in… You are still planning to turn yourself in voluntarily?...Right?”
Alec glances sideways at his friend, but it’s as if Asami hasn’t heard him; the man’s gaze lost somewhere on the beach in front of the hotel.
Alec can easily guess who it is his eyes are searching for.
“…Is it that hard to say goodbye?” He asks softly.
Beside him, Asami nods. “Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
Alec takes a minute to admire the hotel grounds around them. “Well, you sure did pick one hell of a posh place for a breakup, I’ll give you that.” He quips, trying to lighten his friend’s heavy mood.
His attempt backfires spectacularly though.
Asami instantly startles at the words; eyes widening despite himself.
“I’m not here to-“ He starts, but just as quickly he stops.
He finds himself grateful for Alec’s hand as it squeezes his shoulder. More so for his words.
“I’m truly sorry, Ryu.” Alec says. “I really wish there was another way.”
6.
The sand feels smooth beneath Asami’s feet.
He searches his mind trying to remember the last time he walked barefoot on a deserted beach.
He is unable to.
More importantly perhaps: when will he have the chance to do so again?
He doubts the occasion will arise any time soon.
Not where he’s going...
From time to time the wind carries his way voices and laughter mixed with music.
Another evening, another party at the hotel, it seems.
He exhales a cloud of smoke between his lips, only to frown at the cigarette in his hand.
Lately, every cigarette he smokes, independently of the brand, tastes bitter to him, chemical even.
“…Maybe it’s time I quit smoking.”
“I agree.”
The reply, both unexpected and near, would have caused an ordinary person to be surprised to a fright.
But Asami Ryuichi is far from being an ordinary person.
Instead, he waits for the intruder to move closer to him, for a pair of arms to snake round his torso, for a head to lean against the back of his shirt, and only then does he ask: “Is your dinner party over already?”
“Nope.” Akihito moves around to face him, hands still clutching his torso. “I just left it early.”
Asami raises an eyebrow at the mischievous grin on his lips.
“Didn’t the others get mad at you?”
But Akihito shrugs unconcerned. “As the official president of your fan club, I can do whatever I want.”
“I see.” Asami grins back. “And how are the other members of my fan club this evening?”
“You would think seeing us kiss in public would be enough to shut them up.”
“Does that mean it didn’t then?”
“Well, half of them are definitely still in denial.”
“We can always invite them to our hotel room tonight. They did seem keen on watching us earlier on.”
Akihito laughs. “You know what? I think that even if they were to watch us have sex all night, they would still try to deny what they saw come morning.”
“I don’t think so, Akihito. Not after witnessing firsthand what I’m planning to do to you tonight.”
Although Akihito rolls his eyes at the remark, he can’t help the faintest of blushes from tinting his cheeks at the promise hidden behind the other man’s words.
“What are you doing here musing all alone anyway?” He asks to draw attention away from his flushed face.
“What makes you think I’m musing?”
Now is Akihito’s turn to raise an eyebrow.
“You are walking barefoot on a deserted beach after dark, Asami. Plus, your eyes were glued on the moon just now. You didn’t even hear me walk towards you, did you?”
Asami chuckles. “Touché.”
“…What was on your mind just now? When you were looking at the moon?”
“If you must know, I was thinking about past lives.”
“Ah, so have I finally made a believer out of you?”
“Not quite, I’m afraid. But I do like the idea of it… Lives already passed, lives still to come.”
As he says so, Asami runs his thumb across Akihito’s cheek in an affectionate manner.
“I think I’d like to come back to this place with you, in a future life.”
“Why a future life?” Akihito jokes. “Can’t we come back during this one?”
But oddly enough Asami doesn’t say anything in return; his thumb continuing to glide back and forth across the younger man’s cheek… slowly, tenderly.
“…Asami?” The latter asks; a strange tightness in his chest. “What’s the matter all of a sud-“?
“I love you, Akihito.” Asami says out of the blue. “You do know that, don’t you?”
Akihito gasps quietly at the unexpected confession.
A moment passes before he finds his words again. “…The last time you said that to me you almost died… I’m afraid to say it back… What if I jinx it?”
But Asami shakes his head, cupping Akihito’s face between his palms. “Nothing bad will happen to me this time. I promise.”
“…The things you say scare me sometimes.”
“I’m sorry.” Asami whispers against Akihito’s lips. “I really am sorry.”
7.
When Asami reaches the meeting point, at the edge of the cliff closest to the hotel, Feilong is already there, waiting for him.
"You're late." The Chinese man states, a hint of accusation in his voice.
Asami nods, knowing himself to be in the wrong.
Somehow trying to explain to Feilong he has spent the last few hours delaying the inevitable until the very last moment seems pointless though…cruel even.
It turns out he doesn’t have to explain anything.
Feilong takes one good look at him and sighs heavily.
"I suppose I can forgive your tardiness...given the circumstances."
Eager to keep their conversation business-like despite everything, Asami takes refuge behind one of his trademark poker faces; his tone terse and matter-of-fact as he says: "Thank you for coming. I owe you one."
But the Chinese man waves a hand in the air, dismissing the sentiment. "Don't mention it. I'm actually glad you called me. It will be better for him having a friend around."
He then notices the small duffle bag in Asami's hand.
"Is that all you're taking with you?" He asks, an eyebrow raised inquisitively.
"Yes. As for the rest of my stuff, tell Akihito....tell him he can..."
He suddenly goes very quiet.
So much for his attempt at keeping his emotions at bay.
"...Did you even say goodbye to him?"
Feilong's voice sounds uncharacteristically soft,...sad almost.
"He...He's sleeping right now...I didn't get the chance."
Feilong huffs in reply. "You do realize he's going to be furious with you when he wakes up, don't you?"
Asami grins, albeit without mirth.
"I hope he is. I hope he hates me." He confesses. "It will make things easier for him."
"Oh, he'll hate you alright... For a grand total of five minutes. But then he'll realize that you are doing all of this because you love him, because you want to protect him, and because this is the ultimate sacrifice that you can make for him, and knowing all that will make him love you more than he has ever done in his whole life."
Asami nods quietly.
Deep down he knows all that. Of course he knows.
His voice, when he speaks again, sounds broken. Much like his heart at the moment.
"...Just promise me that you'll keep Akihito safe."
"Of course I will, you fool…I love him too."
8.
The morning sunrays reflect off of the surface of the Aegean Sea, casting bright shadows across the ceiling of the hotel room; a kaleidoscope of dancing waves.
Akihito blinks a few times before pulling a pillow over his face to block out the light.
He’s quick to sense a presence close to the bed, and finds himself smiling as he says: "Have you been watching me sleep aga-?"
The question dies on his lips, as he sees someone else sitting on the chair where he was expecting to find Asami.
"Feilong!" He gasps, stunned.
The other man smiles kindly at him.
"Hello, Akihito."
The younger man’s mind goes into sudden overdrive, half of it telling him he is still sleeping and therefore dreaming. But the other half...The other half...
The words leave his mouth before he has a chance to stop them. Before he has a chance to prevent them from becoming real.
"He's gone, isn't he?"
Feilong almost doesn't need to answer. Akihito can read his doom in the man’s eyes.
"I'm sorry, Akihito." Feilong nevertheless says.
Despite the Chinese man's earlier predictions, Akihito doesn’t put up a fire storm at the news, he doesn’t start a rage fest of some kind, nor does he unleash a barrage of insults against Asami, however briefly.
Feilong would have preferred something of the sort. In his vast experience, that's the best course of action in such cases. To let it all out. The sooner, the better.
But no, that's not what happens.
Quite the opposite in fact.
For Akihito sits up in bed, wraps his arms around his knees, and lowering his face onto them, he starts crying instead.
9.
He notices the car moving at great speed towards the helipad, just as the helicopter he’s in starts preparing for takeoff.
Sitting right in front of him, Alec notices it too. “What on earth?!” The man exclaims. “Is that driver out of his mind or something? Can’t he see the helicopter is about to take off?”
But Asami has stopped listening.
There is only one person he knows on this planet with a penchant for driving vintage Aston Martins models.
“Feilong.” He murmurs in surprise.
“Feilong?” Alec repeats. “You mean, as in ‘Liu Feilong’?! What's that guy doing here?”
But Asami already has his hand on the heli’s door handle, sliding it open and jumping onto the helipad the very moment the helicopter starts climbing upwards.
“Hey, Ryu!” Alec calls out to him, all the while signaling to the pilot to touch ground again.
The Aston Martin halts a few meters in front of Asami after an elegant swerve.
The passenger door bursts open and Akihito jumps onto the helipad, running across it towards Asami.
The latter barely has time to open his arms, before he receives the full weight of the younger man in a crushing hug.
Feilong, who has in the meantime stepped out from the Aston Martin driver's seat, shrugs apologetically towards Asami.
The older man nods at him. He should have anticipated all of this. The Chinese man did warn him he loved Akihito. What kind of a fool would deny a loved one a farewell?
Behind the reunited couple, Alec coughs to clear his throat. “Take your time, Ryu.” He says when his friend glances toward him. “I’ll wait inside the helicopter.”
Alone for the time being, the two lovers are unwilling to let go of the hold they have on each other; each able to hear the other’s heart beating like a machine gone mad.
Of what use are words or explanations in such a moment?
Asami is quick to notice that Akihito’s eyes look red though, as if he’s been crying, and can’t help but feel his heart weigh down with the guilt of having been the cause of it.
Heavier still it feels when he eventually is forced to say: “Akihito, I can’t stay.“
But the younger man shakes his head.
“I’m not going to beg you to. I know we can’t win this fight…I’ve known that for a while.”
He goes silent for a few moments, gathering strength.
“I came here to tell you that I don’t care how long it takes. I’ll wait for you.”
The sheer resolve in his eyes disarms Asami completely.
“...I can’t ask that of you, Akihito. It’s not fair.”
“You don’t need to ask, you baka.” Akihito whispers, eyes welling-up anew.
He suddenly lets go of Asami, taking a few steps back from the man whilst wiping his eyes on his hoodie’s sleeve. “Go. Now. I don’t want you seeing me like this.”
But Asami doesn’t move from his spot. Not at first.
“I wish I had said it to you more often.” He admits quietly.
“…Said what?”
“That you are all that matters to me in the world.”
He senses Akihito’s willpower coming undone, and wishing to spare his lover any further pain, he turns around and starts walking towards the helicopter.
But then he hears them. Those simple, yet heart wrenching words.
“I love you too, Asami. Always.”
When he looks back tough, wishing to steal one last glance at Akihito, the latter is already running towards the Aston Martin.
Asami wonders if he's aware he's taking his heart along with him.
(to be continued...)