Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Akarsha, what is this?”

Akarsha looks up from reading her phone while eating cereal, some sort of chocolate abomination. “What’s what?” Of course, she speaks with her mouth full.

Noelle sighs. “This,” and she holds up a construction paper invitation. There’s a car air freshener in the shape of a green pine tree taped to the paper, with red dots all over it. Around it is written in crayon:

“Noelle, wouldn’t it be knife go to the woods alone with me for no particular reason at all?”

“Oh! That,” Akarsha exclaims, “is my proposed plan for today. A nice hike. Fresh air. Nature!”

Noelle pinches the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed. “Okay, but why is the tree dripping with blood? And what’s this?” She points to an additional illustration on the page, a kitchen knife, and traces it to the word “knife” in the plan.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never seen tree ornaments Noelle! And the knife is a metaphor.”

“A metaphor.”

“Yes.”


“A metaphor for what?”

“A metaphor for how you’re stabbing me in the heart if you won’t go!” Akarsha puts on a pleading face. “Please, please, please Noelle, won’t you come with me? You don’t want me going alone, do you?”

Noelle heaves a giant huff. But she’s never been one to ignore her girlfriend’s wishes. “Fine. When do we leave?”

Akarsha stands up, cereal bowl now empty. “Now is as good a time as any!”

Noelle rolls her eyes, but is more committed to the plan than she lets on. She was free the whole day. And Akarsha has been promising something “romantic beyond belief” as of late. “Okay. We’ll go in my car.”

“Yippee!” Akarsha starts doing some sort of internet dance. To be fair, Noelle isn’t sure what it is exactly, but there’s no chance it isn’t a meme dance.

Noelle is regretting her decisions.

Step after step, hill after hill, Akarsha keeps saying that they’re almost there. The few other hikers coming back keep saying that they’re almost there. After the eleventh time Noelle hears this, she stops believing and resigns herself to an eternity of physical exertion.

Akarsha is babbling, as usual, about “what if” scenarios. What if your car turned into a horse while you were on the highway? What if 30% of the population suddenly got struck by lightning, and it turns out they were all Republicans? Noelle keeps nodding along, half listening and half focusing on not stopping, because she knows that she’ll never be able to get up again if she stops.

“Aaaaand here we are,” Akarsha proclaims. “Point Pleasant!” Noelle looks up, finally at the hike’s destination.

She’s not sure what she was expecting. Something majestic, something gorgeous beyond beauty perhaps. But it’s just a mountain valley, filled with green trees and cliff faces. It’s pretty. But it was definitely not worth the hour long hike. Noelle stumbles over to a nearby tree and sits down on the ground, leaning against it. She’s panting at this point, too tired to care about anything.

Weirdly, Akarsha seems exhausted too, even though she’s much more in shape. Breathing fast and deeply, sweat built up on her arms and forehead.

Noelle pulls out her water bottle to take a swig. God, that hike was exhausting. At least there’s no one around to see her falling apart.

Akarsha comes over with the backpack that contains their provisions and squats down. She pulls out a… picnic blanket? One without cartoon characters or other drawings, just a red and white checkerboard pattern. She spreads it on the ground in front of them, and then pulls out two Tupperwares. Peeling them open, she reveals Taiwanese oyster omelets, and sets them down, along with two metal forks.

Noelle is flabbergasted. “Akarsha, what’s all this?” Her mouth is dry, and she takes another drink while waiting for Akarsha’s response.

Akarsha fidgets with her hands. “I know I usually make light of everything. That I turn things into jokes, that I make anything funny.” Akarsha looks up at Noelle. “But I need to be real for this. I need you to know that this isn’t a joke, and that I mean what I’m saying. I brought you here because I need you to know that this is for you, and no one else. I needed to be a better person for this.” She shifts her knees into a kneeling stance, and reaches into the backpack.

Noelle can’t believe this is happening. She sets the water bottle down. Her heart pounds in her chest. It’s definitely not just from the physical exertion.

Akarsha pulls out a ring box, and opens it gracefully. Within is an ornate diamond ring. “Noelle, will you marry me?”

Noelle’s mind is racing, completely unprepared for this. She wants to marry Akarsha, to make her happy, more than anything. But….

Akarsha looks uncomfortable in the silence. She opens her mouth to speak, but reconsiders, and instead looks down at the ground.

“…A-Akarsha,” Noelle stammers.

Akarsha looks up, but her eyes are filled with fear rather than the earlier nervousness. Noelle feels a stab of pain through her heart.

“Akarsha. Yes. A thousand times yes. But—

A wave of relief washes over Akarsha’s face, but it is still filled with uncertain anticipation.

“But I need you to know that I would have said yes no matter what. Even if it was a joke. Even if you had proposed with a ring pop in a GameStop. Even if you served me bitter melon in front of a crowd.” Noelle crawls over to Akarsha and puts a hand on her cheek. “I would always say yes to you. Because you are enough as you are.”

Akarsha’s eyes brim with tears. “I felt like I had to show you that I’d do anything for you.”

“But you don’t have to change for me, Akarsha.” Noelle pokes Akarsha’s nose as she says, “I - love - you - as - you - are. That includes when you’re dorky, when you’re silly, when you get on my nerves and when you make fun of me. All of it.”

Akarsha buries her face into the inside of her elbow. “I wanted to be the sweet and thoughtful one for once.”

Noelle wraps her arms around her fiancee. “You always have been. Just in your own way. And I love that about you.”

They sit together, silently under the tree, with Noelle hugging Akarsha on their picnic blanket.

Akarsha breaks the silence with a question. “Would you still love me if I did change? If I stopped being funny, if I became more serious. Would you still love me then?”

Noelle stops to think. “…yes. I’d still love you. You are more than your parts, and if all the parts are replaced Ship of Theseus style, you’d still be you.”

Akarsha is silent for a moment. “…even if I became a worm?”

Noelle smiles. “Even if you became a worm. I’d make a nice terrarium for you. Give you compost. Make sure you didn’t get eaten. Because you’re my Akarsha.”

Akarsha chuckles. “I’d like that.”

“If you became a worm, that is,” Noelle suggests.

Akarsha looks up, beaming at Noelle. “No, I’d like that now too. Compost is tasty, and getting eaten sucks.”

Noelle laughs, wheezing from the hike and emotional roller coaster. Akarsha grins with tear-stricken cheeks. And for the moment, the two of them are together, alone.