Archive of Our Own ^beta

Heaven

“Ice Cream! Ice Cream!”

Alastor chuckled as Elpis bounced and pulled on his hand excitedly. Elpis had scored very well in his first test at school, so he was taking him to get ice cream as a reward.

“Slow down, Elppy,” he told him with a chuckle. “You’re going to pull me over at this rate.”

“Nah! Not you da!”  Elpis flew up and hugged his head.  “You’re too big!!”

“Ah, but size isn’t everything, remember?”  Alastor reminded him, nuzzling his face before coaxing the young angel back to the ground.

“Oh right…dad is smaller!” Elpis giggled.

“Yes, but also remember that appearances can be deceiving!”  Lucifer had proved many times that being short didn’t mean he wasn’t powerful: he was King of Hell for a reason, after all.

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover!” Elpis exclaimed happily.

“Exactly.”  Alastor rubbed his son’s head between the ears, eliciting a giggle from him.

“Oh! I see it, da!”  Elpis said excitedly, pointing toward the end of a narrow side street, the sign of the ice shop just visible at the end.  “Race ya!”

Alastor laughed as Elpis took off, Alastor easily staying right on his heels with his long legs.

“I'm gonna wiiiinnnn,” he teased looming over him with his hands stretched out, Elpis squealing with laughter as his little legs moved as fast as they could. Alastor purposely letting him pull a bit ahead.

Something shifted in the sky, a cloud drifting over what passed for Heaven’s sun or something similar. Eitherway, the lighting shifted, the once brightly lit street becoming more cloaked in shadow. Just enough to….

The blues and purples of the buildings and street were replaced by brown smooth stone.  The pastel sky was replaced with a jagged rock ceiling.  Sounds of winners and angels talking twisting into malicious laughter and the excited and hungry howls of hounds.

Alastor stopped running, freezing in place. A dark memory pushing forward and replacing reality with a vision of the past. He was no longer able to see his son, only the darkened corridor of those tunnels he was once trapped in.

Chased. Hunted. Caught. Hurt. Tortured.

Devoured.

No…no please… 

His breaths started to come in panicked gasps.  The tightness in his chest threatened to crush him from within.  His ears flattened against his skull.  Muscles tensed.  Pupils blown wide. A cold sweat on his face.  Clamminess in his hands.

Let me out…let me go!

Yet the vision persisted.

He reached up and started to pull at his hair and ears.  Radio static crackled around him.  His tail changing into his demonic one, it's length starting to coil around his waist.

Voices were calling to him. Familiar, but he didn't know if they were friend or a trick by Roo.

No...no...the voices were always either tricks or from the Hunter.

He has to run.

No, he needed to hide!

Alastor partly crouched down, his wings curling around himself.  Conflicted in how to react.

Neither running or hiding had ever worked.  Staying in place certainly didn't either…nor did fighting back.

Always turned out bad for him.

More voices, more insistent. Worried. Concerned.

The corridor seemed to ripple. Like it wasn’t real.

He shut his eyes, could feel himself doing so, but the vision of the tunnels was still here. That shouldn’t be possible!

It wasn’t real.

“Da!”

~Al!?~

Alastor snapped his eyes open, to see his son right in front of his face. The little boy was floating at his head level, worry and a bit of fear on his young face.

Lucifer...Lucifer was also talking to him telepathically, his voice full of concern. He must have sensed his distress over their soul link….

Alastor took several deep breaths as he looked around, seeing the blues and purples of Heaven once more.  Overwhelmed with relief, he leaned against a wall and rubbed his face, a single sob slipping out.

Fuck, he was shaking so much .. 

~Al?~ Lucifer spoke again, sounding more worried.

“Da, why you so scared?” His son asked, the little angel having his hands on the side of his face. “And…sad?”

~Give me a moment…~ he told Lucifer before sighing heavily. He then took several more breaths as he closed his eyes for a moment, hating that his child had to see him like this.

Once his heart was no longer threatening to pound out of his chest, he wrapped the little boy into his arms and peppered him with kisses, making Elpis' giggle.

“An old hurt came back to haunt me,” he said simply, pressing his forehead against his.  “But I'll be OK.”

“You sure, da?”. Elpis' asked, his ears low, tone uncertain.

“I'm sure.”. Alastor nuzzled him and gave him a big smile and hug, though internally he was still feeling the aftereffects of the incident.  “Now…”

He picked him up and put him on his shoulders.  “Let's get that ice cream!”

Elpis squealed with delight as he took wing, quickly covering the rest of the distance to the ice cream shop.  Thankfully the line the short, though Elpis took a little time trying to decide on what flavor to get.

~I…had an incident…~ He told Lucifer while he waited.

~Shit.  Are you two safe?~ Alastor could tell Lucifer was ready to teleport straight to them if needed.

~Yes, thankfully I didn’t go running and screaming,~ Alastor assured him. ~Were at the ice Cream shop right now.~

~Good…let me know, if.. you know, need me to come to you.~

~I will ~

“You getting any, da?” Elpis asked drawing his attention,

“No, I get enough sweetness from both you and your dad,” Alastor replied with a soft smile, a couple of other customers ‘aawwing’ over the statement.

“Ok!” After he got his ice cream, what looked like a mix of strawberry and mint ice cream in a bowl, he asked.  “Can we go visit the ducks?”

He really wanted to go back home and bury himself in bed, but he shoved those feelings aside.  Elpis was more important.  “Sure, son,” he said, opening a portal to the duck sanctuary.

--

Later

Lucifer paced a bit in the living room, torn between going to them and staying put. Alastor didn’t have PTSD attacks often, but it always soured his mood when they occurred. Thankfully, the aesthetics of both Heaven and Purgatory didn’t leave many opportunities for triggers, but...today was clearly an exception. He had not been prepared to get hit with a panic surge over their soul link today!

When was the last time this happened? It had been before they created Elpis...that was for sure. During one of their hunts for an Underlord in Hell if he recalled. A mad scientist type that liked experimenting with different types of torture. Bastard had been delighted to see Alastor was triggered by one of his traps…

...until Alastor was able to break free from the vision long enough to devour the bastard.

Lucifer had wanted to go to Alastor and smother him with affection as he usually craved it after an episode. Buuut….Alastor wasn’t keen on PDA beyond basic hand holding and quick smooches. Plus Elpis was with him, adding to the awkwardness.

Gods...the shame he must feel that this happened with Elpis present. The additional awkward that will be coming when Elpis inevitably asked what happened.

They both knew their son would need to learn about what happened in their respective pasts, but they both hoped it wouldn’t be until he was a little older.

Lucifer straightened, a spike of anxiety hitting his chest as the door opened and Alastor and Elpis walked in. He could immediately tell that Alastor hadn't recovered fully from the PTSD attack. The distant look in his eyes, how his ears dropped a bit…but most telling was his tail.

His demonic tail was out and from how it twitched, it was clear Alastor was fighting to keep it from curling up. Despite how long it had been, Alastor still prided himself over how the public perceived him.

He didn't get a chance to comment on it before Elpis tackle hugged him. “We’re home dad!” the youngster cried with a broad smile.

“Hey Muffin!” he said as he hugged him. “Did you have fun?”

~I’ll…be on our room,~ Alastor told him.

~Alright.~ Lucifer suspected he was going to bury himself under the covers for a while, until he was able join him and give him much needed cuddles.

“Yep!” Elpis giggles. “We went to see the ducks while I ate my ice cream!”

“And how is our duck army doing?” Lucifer asked.

“Big!” Elpis said his arms wide.  “I think I saw bright green ones this time.”

“Did you now?”. Ever since they moved the ducks to Purgatory, their offspring started getting more and more...colorful.  Adding new breeds to the flock over time no doubt contributed to that.

“Uh huh, I saw one with a huge red crest too!”

“It wasn't spitting fire, was it?”. If someone snuck a Satan’s gander into the flock again…

“No…least not while we were there.”

“Good.”. Still, best to check it out just in case when had the chance.

Lucifer then frowned when Elpis' expression turned worried.  “What's up, Muffin?”

“Something happened with Da earlier,” the little one said.  “We…we were racing but then he froze up and looked scared.  He started pulling on his hair like he does when he gets upset…I called to him, but...but...he didn’t answer! At least not right away...it...scared me.”

Lucifer sighed softly and pulled his son into a comforting hug. “It scares me too when that happens with him, kiddo,” he told him.

“Why,...why does he get like that?” Elpis asked. “He...he said something about an...old hurt haunting him?”

“Your Da and I have been through a lot before we made you, kiddo,” Lucifer explained softly. “And some of those things hurt us in ways that cannot be seen, only felt. Sometimes it gets bad enough to where your Da thinks he is reliving it….like a bad dream.”

Elpis’ expression squished as he took that in. “Who hurt you and Da?” he asked, his little hands were backed up into fists, his face scrunched up as he tried to look angry. “I…I..  give them a stern talking to! Like you and Da do when I’ve been naughty!”

Lucifer couldn’t help but chuckle at that, before rubbing his head. “There’s no need, Muffin,” he told him gently. “The one responsible for our hurts is long gone.”

“But if the bad person is gone...why does it still bother you and Da?”

“This kind of hurt don’t always go away when the one the caused it is gone, Elpis,” Lucifer explained. “It takes a very long time to heal...but some hurts never go away fully.”

Elpis looked sad and determined. “Is there anything that can be done to stop the hurt?”

“Time...and lots of love,” Lucifer told him.

“Well then, Imma gonna go give Da lots of love!” Elpis squirmed out of his arms and bolted for their room, Lucifer right behind him. The chuckles he was making turned into full blown laughter as Elpis pretty much much dive bombed the lump in the bed that was Alastor, effectively startling the deer out of his funk.

“Elpis! What the blazes!?” Alastor exclaimed as the little boy wrapped his little arms around his neck.

“Imma giving you lots of love so you don’t hurt anymore!” Elpis was squealing.

Alastor was blinking at the boy, then at him as Lucifer climbed into the bed with them. ~You...told him?~ he asked.

~In as simple a manner as possible for someone his age,~ Lucifer replied as he rubbed his forehead against his. ~No details.~

~I had hoped we didn’t have to tell him so soon..but....~ Alastor remarked with a sigh.

~I know, Al,~ Lucifer then flashed him grin. ~Now, accept your love medicine!~ Lucifer then pulled both him and Elpis into a hug.

That got a smile and a chuckle from Alastor, his husband’s arms wrapping around the both of them in turn.

Lucifer knew he was feeling better when he heard the ‘swish swishing’ of his now back to normal tail wagging underneath the sheets….